Stuart Aken's Blog, page 231

Are You Very Very Sure of This? #2

Over the next few weeks, I’m looking at the very frequent use of ‘very’, which is very bad, as you know so very well.
Okay, a touch of overkill, but you know we all do it: use ‘very’ to modify a verb or adjective rather than search for a stronger one that will say the same thing, only better. So, here are a few examples to make it easier for you to reject that easy option. Choose with care; synonyms are not always exact matches and you need to consider context.
Very bad – atrocious, unprincipled, black-hearted, evil, heinous, wicked, diabolical, monstrousVery poor – destitute, underprivileged, impecunious, broke, bankrupt, penurious, impoverishedVery lively – vivacious, animated, vital, effervescent, impassioned, enthusiasticVery worried – anxious, nervous, alarmed, hysterical, dismayed, apprehensiveVery beautiful – exquisite, radiant, divine, picturesque, sublime, heavenly, ravishing, gorgeousVery large – colossal, huge, enormous, vast, immense, gigantic, monumental, Very quiet – silent, hushed, calm, noiseless, mute, peaceful, serene,Very wise – sagacious, brilliant, profound, reasonable, intellectual, experienced

A few more. There’ll be others, next week.Related articles + 45 Ways to Avoid the Word "Very"

A Fine Piece of Poetry

Henry Lawson. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)I belong to an online email lottery, which allows its members (currently 24,669) the opportunity to send an email to all the other members. Each member has the chance of being selected and just one email is sent per day. So far, I haven't been lucky. If you wish to join, by the way, you can do so easily, by following this link.

Of the messages I've received over the months I've belonged, some have been personal stories, some far too lengthy, some advice, some requests for help. The one below came through a couple of days ago, and I was so impressed with the short piece of poetry I asked the contributor if I could post it here on the blog. He agreed. It appears he has no blog or website, which seems a shame since he clearly has something worth hearing. Read the poem and see what you think.

"And my dreams are strange dreams, are day dreams, are grey dreams,
And my dreams are wild dreams, and old dreams and new;
They haunt me and daunt me with fears of the morrow –
My brothers they doubt me – but my dreams come true. "

  -from The Wander-Light
   Henry Lawson

Tomorrow is a human a thing.  For other minds there is only now.  But not for us.

We sleep and wake and live our lives by tides and shapes of nights and days and nights.

Tomorrow is our dance; the steps of our rhythms with legs astride.

Because it's pain that teaches best, we fear the morrow.  And so we should.

Yet tomorrow is the promise of a better thing.

I live now.  Fears of the morrow mine are now.  But my dreams too come true.

My dreams too come true.


Max Goff
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Exploring Character and Place in A Seared Sky #7

Dilanthas
This is the 7th in a series of pieces on characters and places featured in Joinings: A Seared Sky . This background information, isn’t covered in the book, but should enhance the reading experience. For some of my people, there’ll be a character drawing, supplied by Alice Taylor, maybe a video interview, and accompanying script. I may do short pieces of fiction, deepening knowledge of certain minor characters as well. For the places, I may use sections of the map, to indicate location, along with a description of the place, as I see it, and, where appropriate, links with characters. Perhaps I’ll indicate the way of life there with a short anecdote or story. I won’t reveal any of the main story, either as already published or as written in the series, merely enhance readers’ enjoyment of the trilogy by providing more information. I hope this will give pleasure to those who’ve bought the book and, perhaps, persuade others to take that step.
Pronunciation hints:Dilanthas – di-lan-thassKrohtl – krow-tulMuhnilahm – mew-nee-larmYtraa – eet-rahNames are pronounced phonetically. But this is my take on them; how I hear them in my head. You may pronounce them as you wish, of course; reading is, after all, active rather than passive.
Dilanthas, from Krohtl, Muhnilahm, is a shy girl Chosen to go on the pilgrimage as a Virgin Gift. Here is a short piece about her initiation into womanhood.
All her life, Dilanthas had lived under Ytraa’s Peak, rising tall and dark to the southwest of her home. Her father urged the whole family to make their prayers at the back of the house, so they could see the craggy mountain before and after their acts of worship.
Tomorrow, she must make the journey up to the Plain of Ytraa, surrounding the high peak, and spend a whole sixday with other girls her age. Under strict instruction by the Holy Ones, she’d learn discipline and devotion, earning hard smacks for every failure to do exactly as they demanded.
It wasn’t the prospect of punishment she most feared, though she was certain she wouldn’t pass the sixday without pain and humiliation; it was the way she must leave the town. To walk the entire length of the main road and allow all to see the butterfly tattoo adorning her left breast and, worse, the hummingbird pointing its long sharp beak at the very centre of her womanhood. These were things only her betrothed and Ytraa should see and this exposure was what she most dreaded. After all, naked was sacred.
‘You’ll no be on yer own, lass.’ Her father’s words were intended to hold comfort. She wanted to make him proud, make that walk with head held high and her whole body declaring her love of Ytraa. Shyness and modesty warred with her desire to do her best for her family and her beloved, as she made her way to the ceremony that would end her life as a daughter and announce her readiness to join and become a wife.
‘All t’other girls your age ‘ave to do same, Dilanthas. Me an’ your father did it when we was gettin’ ready to marry. Think on your pride as a Follower an’ go to yon Peak like our founder did all those ‘undreds of cycles ago.’ Her mother’s words were encouraging; she seemed happy with her life, and she and Father got on well.
It was true that Dilanthas looked forward to the ceremony that would come a few sixdays later. She and her betrothed would take the same route together, leading their families to the Plain of Ytraa, there to join before Ytraa and become as one.
She’d talked with the other girls, of course. They’d be fourteen in total. One by one they’d leave town and head into the hills. They were supposed to go to the Peak alone, but most intended to wait on the edge of the olive grove above the river and travel together.
Dilanthas would be sixth to leave and she’d vowed to follow the rules and make her way on her own. But she’d have to pass the place where they were due to collect and she wondered if she’d have the courage to leave them behind. There’d be safety in numbers. Should they pass an isolated farm, or come upon travellers, she’d be one of a group rather than a girl alone.
She could see the attraction of their intended disobedience. But would she be bad, or would she do as she’d been told, and make a solitary journey? It was considered part of the test.
For now, evening prayers were over and she’d had her last meal with them. Mother had prepared Father’s freshly caught fish with wine, something they rarely had in the house, and the tangy flavour lingered in her mouth. She’d placed her few needs in the rush bag she’d hang from her shoulders at her back. Now, all she needed was a good night’s sleep to be ready for the morning.
The family would take the short walk to the beach. There she’d remove her tabard and present it to her father as a sign of her independence. She’d step into the sea until her whole body was submerged. Then she’d turn and walk past the townspeople to the initiation on the Plain, following the tradition set by the first Follower, as he set out to explore their new home on this island. If she kept that thought in her mind, she might get through the ordeal with less anxiety. She might even feel the pride and joy her father expected her to show.

And, of course, her betrothed would be there, watching. On her return, he’d make the same trip, with the other bucks of his age, and she’d watch them. That was something to look forward to, after all.Related articles Exploring Character and Place: #1 Exploring Character and Place: #2 Joinings: A Seared Sky. Couldn't put it down

The Reader of Acheron, by Walter Rhein, Reviewed.

Walter Rhein’s The Reader of Acheron, is book one of the Slaves of Erafor series, a fantasy set on a future Earth at a time when reading is prohibited. The eponymous Reader is, necessarily, a figure of mystery living under threat of torture and death.
There is a prologue to the tale, which I’m not certain is essential and which may even stop some readers from moving into the tale itself. I have to tell you that it’s definitely worth getting past this short barrier. The real story, couched in language that evokes another time, builds inexorably to the denouement and an ending that closes this portion of what is clearly going to be a continuing adventure for those characters remaining.
There are two story threads that interweave. Initially, there appears to be no connection between these accounts, though clues and hints slowly build. Both tales describe the domain in which the characters exist, unfolding a world of slavery and class, where those not in the upper strata are either drug-addled slaves in everything including name or are paid slaves in everything but name. The whole of society is structured to maintain the status quo of those few with power and position.
Characters are well drawn and have their idiosyncrasies, making them human and accessible. As with a great number of books in this genre, women are little represented. But that results from the narrative viewpoints, which, in one case reduces female contact to the wife and child of the slave owner and, in the other, provides the typical mercenary soldier’s view of women.
There is a well expressed underlying theme here of the abuse of knowledge; the way in which society may be structured in such a way as to filter information and program learning so that it truly benefits only those at the peak of the social pyramid. Those in power, curating the knowledge, have a terror of their underlings discovering this knowledge, of course. The message is sobering and pertinent, but doesn’t get in the way of the story, which is well told and absorbing.

I thoroughly enjoyed this read. I was able to empathise with the characters and understand their motives, desires, hopes and anxieties. There is a great adventure here, but there is also a great deal more going on beneath the surface, and I have no hesitation in recommending this book. I look forward to the sequels.Related articles Reader of Acheron - New Release - Walter Rhein - Fantasy Reader of Acheron - Fantasy/Dystopian - Review Syndicate Spotlight! #46: The Reader Of Acheron Guest Post from Walter Rhein - Fantasy and the Chance to win! Guest Post from Walter Rhein - Fantasy and the Chance to win! New Interview by Walter Rhein

Insights Into the Writer's Mind, by Michael DeAngelo

Today, I have the privilege of being interviewed by that fascinating fantasy writer, Michael DeAngelo, on his great blog, Tellest.

He's asked me some searching questions and come up with a piece that collects together a number of facts and insights into the way I think, plan and work. We talk about the structure of the story, my motivations and interests, and how I go about tackling the craft of storytelling. Really worth a visit, which you can make by clicking this link.

Mind Tryst, by Robyn Carr, Reviewed.

Compelling: it must be, because I read Robyn Carr’s ‘Mind Tryst’ under rather trying circumstances. In a nutshell, I was doing a read-aloud edit of the last two books of my fantasy trilogy, spending a great deal of time in deep reading. That meant my energy, interest in and time for other reading was pretty minimal. But this book, which I had started before I commenced with my own work, wouldn’t let me go. I had to know. I had to get to the end.
The narrative character, Jackie, a lawyer from LA who moves to a small town to escape the grief that follows the death of her child, finds herself caught up in a mystery that is at first only odd and disconcerting but slowly builds to become menacing and life-threatening. The relationships in this novel, good and bad, are very well written. The characters all come alive on the page. The reader is introduced to a wide gathering of city slickers and small town folk, and given enough information to permit empathy with all.
This is a psychological thriller with real bite. It’s a page-turner; an involving read. I found myself compelled to discover the secrets hidden in the twists and turns. Sympathy and suspicion vie with each other for the two main characters as Carr skilfully weaves a complex and changing, but ultimately credible story leading to a high-tension ending. There are touches of lightness and even humour to ease the reader through the story.
Women readers in particular should beware of reading this if alone in the house, unless they wish to spend the night awake.

If you enjoy your thrillers with real characters, believable scenarios and accurate, well-researched settings, you’ll enjoy this story. I thoroughly recommend it.

The Month of May(be)?

May; month of fertility rites and, in UK we hope, sunshine at last. Well, we had a couple of Bank Holidays and the weather, a topic of supreme interest in these islands, proved reasonable for one of those. 50% can’t be bad.
As for me; I’ve spent much of the month doing the read-aloud edit of the last two books in the fantasy trilogy, ASeared Sky . As many of you will know, the first book, Joinings , was published by Fantastic Books Publishing at the end of March. It continues to sell and attract interest and 5 star reviews. In response to remarks in a couple of reviews and from other readers, relating to the character names, I’ve produced a couple of lists of the players and the names used in myth and legend. Dan, my publisher, converted these to PDF docs. If you’d like to download or print them, you’ll find the players’ list here and the myth and legends list here. These are now included in the books for those who buy from now. I want my readers to be certain that they’ll have an opportunity to read the entire trilogy, so I’ve been completing the series by doing the final edit as a read-aloud from a printed script. That entails reading 868 A4 pages of print. Book two is now ready for the publisher. Book three is written and I’m a third of the way through the final edit of that volume.
All that reading aloud has meant I’ve had a diminished taste for other reading, unfortunately. And I’ve a couple of books I really must read and review, so they’re next on the list.
The Sci-Fi novelette that’s anxious to escape from the back of my mind is now really pushing, but it’ll have to wait a little longer before I release it onto the page.
The month has been domestically quite busy, with my daughter returning home from her 3 years at university, her final exhibition, and all the things associated with such effort on behalf of a talented offspring.
I’ve written 17 blog posts, read and reviewed 2 books and penned a dozen poems during the month, as well as partaking in a few online discussions, some continuing on a guest post I did at the end of April on a great site, Writers’ Village, and others on a smashing site I’ve also contributed to in the past, The Blood Red Pencil. I’ve updated the list of my writing successes and posted that as a table at the foot of the Published Works page here on the blog, for those who are interested, click here to take you that page. I’ve also answered questions for an interview on a fantasy website, which should appear some time at the beginning of this month. So, whilst I haven’t created as much as I would have liked, I’ve been pretty busy with writing stuff. How’s your month gone?
The chart, explained: Writing - initial creation of stories, blog posts, reviews and longer works.Editing - polishing of all written work to make it suitable for readers.Research - discovery of info for story content, market research, contests and blog posts.Reading - books and writing magazines.Networking - emails, Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook, LinkedIn, Google+, and comments.
Admin - story submission, blog posting, marketing, organisation, tax, and general admin tasks.Related articles Writers Reveal I've Started, So I'll Finish

Are You Very Very Sure of This? #1

Over the next few weeks, I’m looking at the very frequent use of ‘very’, which is very bad, as you know so very well.
Okay, a touch of overkill, but you know we all do it: use ‘very’ to modify a verb or adjective rather than search for a stronger one that will say the same thing, only better. So, here are a few examples to make it easier for you to reject that easy option. Choose with care; synonyms are not always exact matches.
Very afraid – terrified, panic-stricken, scared, alarmed, petrified, unmanned, paralyzed.Very neat – immaculate, impeccable, unblemished, spotless. Very loved – adored, worshipped, cherished, prized, idolised. Very angry – furious, wild, raging, raving, ravening, berserk.Very old – ancient, archaic, prehistoric, venerable, primordial, antediluvian.

Just a few to be getting on with. More next week.Related articles anachronistic, ancient, antediluvian, antiquated, antique, archaic, bygone, dated,

Exploring Character and Place in A Seared Sky #6

Jodisa-Li permits an interview with the Fantasy Editor.

This is the 6th in a series of pieces on characters and places featured in Joinings: A Seared Sky. This background information, isn’t covered in the book, but should enhance the reading experience. For some of my people, there’ll be a character drawing, supplied by Alice Taylor, maybe a video interview, and accompanying script. I may do short pieces of fiction, deepening knowledge of certain minor characters as well. For the places, I may use sections of the map, to indicate location, along with a description of the place, as I see it, and, where appropriate, links with characters. Perhaps I’ll indicate the way of life there with a short anecdote or story. I won’t reveal any of the main story, either as already published or as written in the series, merely enhance readers’ enjoyment of the trilogy by providing more information. I hope this will give pleasure to those who’ve bought the book and, perhaps, persuade others to take that step.
Pronunciation hints:Jodisa-Li – jo-dee-sah-lieDagla Kaz - pronounced exactly as writtenTumalind – tum-a-lindAklon-Dji – ak-lon-djy (think of the Dj sound in the name of tennis player, Djokovic)Names are pronounced phonetically. But this is my take on them; how I hear them in my head. You may pronounce them as you wish, of course; reading is, after all, active rather than passive.
Jodisa-Li here countenances an interview with the Fantasy Editor of Fantastic Books Publishing.Jodisa-Li is 17/18, physically a virtual twin of Tumalind, and heir to the High Priest, Dagla Kaz. She’s confident, aloof, superior and clever.
FE:         Thank you, Jodisa-Li for granting me the privilege of an interview.
Jodisa-Li:           You’ll make it worth my time and effort.
FE:         Jodisa-Li. What’s the ‘Li’ stand for?
Jodisa-Li:           I’m the recognised heir to the High Priest. ‘Li’ informs the people of my status. I’m the most important person in the land, after my father.
FE:         I see. So, if your father fails in his mission, you’ll become the next High Priest?
Jodisa-Li:           Fail? My father? Don’t be impertinent, man.  He does the work of our god; how can he fail?
FE:         Accidents do happen. Especially on long trips over unknown lands and seas.
Jodisa-Li:           If you put it like that, I suppose there’s a possibility he may face a barrier he’s unable to surmount. In that case, yes, I’ll take over the role of leader here.
FE:         And how will you feel about that?
Jodisa-Li:           It’s what I’ve been raised and trained to do. I’ll be fulfilling my destiny. The people will obey my commands and I’ll see that all behave with proper respect and reverence.
FE:         I understand that, as the High Priestess, you’d have no fixed partner. How do you feel about that?
Jodisa-Li:           Feelings don’t come into it. It is my duty to spread my delights as widely as possible. But men will flock to join with me; I see the way they look at me in the city and the towns. I am desired. I’ll have my pick of the best specimens and woe betide any who fail to do my bidding.
FE:         Power, don’t you think, carries responsibilities?
Jodisa-Li:           You can teach me nothing of power. I’ve lived with power all my life. Power is the instrument of the powerful. Used correctly, it serves the user and those who bend to obey it. A good leader is one who ensures that her subjects understand their place and provides a strong example for others to follow.
FE:         Suppose one of your partners were to prove so special that you fell in love with him?
Jodisa-Li:           Who told you about that?  Ah, I see, an imaginary situation. Love is for the common folk. I’m required, by tradition, custom and sacred duty, to spread my delights wide, as I said. Love has no place in my future.
FE:         What’s your opinion of your brother, Aklon-Dji?
Jodisa-Li:           He may be handsome, clever, strong, and cunning, but he’s a fool at heart. I mean, to reject the means to power and wealth so easily. Only a fool would do that.    
FE:         Or a man of principle.
Jodisa-Li:           Same thing. Nature, you know, depends on the power of the fittest. No leader can allow sentiment to cloud judgment, honesty to overcome expedience. Once the people saw such weakness, they’d simply cease to obey such a coward.
FE:         Don’t have a lot of time for your people, do you, Jodisa-Li?
Jodisa-Li:           I have as much respect for them as they warrant. Father says the people get the leader they deserve. If they want their leaders to make their decisions for them, to do their thinking, in fact, they have to accept those decisions and that thinking, don’t they? Laziness and complacency, cowardice and fear are the main qualities displayed by the general people. Could you respect that?
FE:         As to that, we’ll have to agree to disagree, I think. But I thank you for your time and the insight into your personality, Jodisa-Li.
Jodisa-Li:           Insight? I doubt that. You have the information I wish you to have, no more than that. I bid you farewell.
FE:         Farewell, young lady.


Related articles Joinings: A Seared Sky. Couldn't put it down Exploring Character and Place in A Seared Sky #5 Exploring Character and Place: #1 The Full Reveal and 5 Stars

I’ve Started, So I’ll Finish

Cover via AmazonThose of you familiar with the original black chair torture that is the TV show ‘Mastermind’ will recognise that famous phrase made catchword by I generally complete an editing session by doing a full read through, aloud, from a printed text. I’ve discovered that this reveals things missed when editing silently on screen, so it’s worth the effort.However, I set myself the job of editing the two final books of the epic fantasy trilogy, A Seared Sky, in this way, without really thinking it through. I should, of course, have done book two immediately after I finished it, but I waited until I’d written book three, so eager was I to get the story written.
Those who’ve read book one, Joinings, will know that it’s a bit of a tome, at 700 pages. Guess what? Books two and three are also quite long! Still, I set myself this vital editing task and, I’ve started, so I’ll finish.
This post is to let you know that book two, a typescript of 599 pages, 46 chapters and a little under 200,000 words, is finally ready for the publisher. It’s taken some time and a lot of water to cool my sore throat, but it’s done.
Did I find much? I estimate I made around 180 corrections, ranging from a misplaced comma to the addition or removal of a complete sentence, and everything in between. So it’s been a worthwhile exercise. After all, I want the book to go out in the best possible form for readers. I want them to enjoy my writing, not come to a jarring halt because I’ve missed some sod (odd) typo or used an inappropriate homophone, like ‘bare’ for ‘bear’ for example.

So: on now with book three. I’d originally hoped to have the whole thing done by the end of May, as I have a sci-fi novel knocking at the back of my brain and eager to roam free, but I have my doubts. Life has a tendency to get in the way, doesn’t it?Related articles On Proofing Edits & Revising Rewrites