Liane Davey's Blog, page 13
March 26, 2023
Stop Bullying Your Boss
This is the fourth and final post in this series on managing up. We started with a definition of managing up (hint: it’s not just being the bestest employee you can be, as some websites suggest) and outlined the steps you can take if your manager isn’t managing. Next, we got into the possibility of leveraging your colleagues to manage up as a united front. And in the most recent post, we discussed three specific incompetent boss profiles and how to tailor your approach for each.
In this post, let’s visit the dark side of managing up; the behaviors beyond helping your boss set you up for success that instead veer into bullying, manipulation, and insubordination.
Inappropriate Ways to Manage Your BossTo determine what goes beyond the bounds of managing up, let’s return to the definition I gave you in the first post. Managing up is helping your boss provide you with what you need to accomplish what’s required of you.
There are two essential elements to that definition—the “helping” part. When managing up, you’re being helpful and constructive, not nasty or vindictive. Second, the “to accomplish what’s required of you” part. Managing up is about doing what your role requires, not rewriting the script or serving your own purposes.
You’re out of line if you’re doing any of the following.
Working Toward a Misaligned GoalManaging up is often necessary when your boss doesn’t know the right goal to be working toward (or hasn’t articulated that goal in a way that allows you to get moving). In that case, asking questions to help them frame the objective is excellent.
But if your manager has defined their goals, objectives, or tactics and you just don’t like them, you don’t get to override them. If you think your boss is on the wrong track, it’s ok to ask questions, point out risks, and share your concerns, but once you’ve lost all appeals, working at cross-purposes to your manager is not managing up, it’s insubordination.
Being Mean or CondescendingManaging up is called for if your boss isn’t clear, providing the resources you require, or giving you feedback. In that case, asking for what you need is perfectly acceptable.
But if your manager has provided all they can, and you just don’t like what you’re hearing, you don’t get to belittle them. So, for example, suppose you don’t feel set up for success. In that case, it’s ok to provide feedback about how your boss’ requests are affecting you or to highlight what could go wrong if you aren’t able to secure more resources, but bad-mouthing your boss or whinging about them to other people is not managing up, it’s browbeating.
Ganging UpManaging up is necessary if your boss leaves unclear accountabilities that make it likely your team will either step on one another’s toes or let something fall through the cracks. In that case, clarifying who owns what and how your responsibilities intersect is entirely appropriate.
But even if your manager falls short on upfront alignment, you don’t get to gang up on them. If your boss has created a tangled mess, bringing everyone together to distribute tasks and clarify accountabilities, interdependencies, and due dates is helpful. What isn’t ok is all of you choosing to ignore your boss and, instead, making up your own rules; that’s mutiny.
Making Threats and UltimatumsManaging up is helpful if your boss has unrealistic expectations affecting your ability to succeed or harming your physical or mental health. In that case, providing feedback about the negative impact of your workload and asking for relief is fair game.
But suppose your manager doesn’t take your concerns seriously or doesn’t make any accommodations to help you. In that case, it’s wrong to threaten them or make ultimatums that you’ll leave the project in peril, write or say nasty things about them, or quit outright. That’s not managing up; that’s blackmail.
If your work is making you unwell, it’s essential to set boundaries and make choices that are healthy for you. If those choices put you at odds with your manager, seek the support of human resources or other sponsors in the organization. Making threats or ultimatums isn’t the way to go.
General Criteria for Managing UpI use a few litmus tests to determine whether something is managing up or crosses the line into inappropriate behavior.
Would you be worried if your boss’ boss knew what you were doing? If what you’re doing falls within the bounds of managing up, your boss’ boss should be okay with it.Are you making statements and demands to assert your wishes rather than using questions to understand your boss’ needs? If you’re managing up, you’re focused on what the job requires, not what you want.Are your efforts making you less stressed and better able to do your job or filling you with resentment and creating a toxic work environment? If you’re managing up, your self-talk should be getting more positive, not more negative.Many scenarios and versions of ineffective bosses make managing up necessary and helpful. But managing up has to be beneficial to your manager, and it has to focus on achieving the goals that are important to your organization. Any behavior that crosses the line so that it’s menacing, hurtful, or condescending is not managing up. Nor is any behavior that ignores your manager’s wishes or the business’s needs.
Additional ResourcesDisagree with your boss without getting fired
The first 3 things to ask when you join a new team
Simple Steps to Rehabilitate a Bad Reputation
Expert Advice: Michelle Bennett 10 Managing Up Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
March 19, 2023
When Should I Manage Up
We’re two posts into this series on managing up. In the first post, we talked about how to get your boss to give you the direction and support you need. In the second, we considered an even better option: forming a united front to manage up along with your teammates.
I realize now that I’ve covered how to manage up, but not why you might need to. So let’s tour the terrible manager terrain and diagnose the dysfunctions that deserve the managing-up treatment.
Reasons You Might Need to Manage UpFor each version of an inadequate manager, I’ll talk a little about the shortcomings and give you a few ideas for what form managing up should take.
Managing Up When You Have a New ManagerLet’s start with the least infuriating version of an inept manager, the newbie. When you get yourself a freshly minted, green boss, they don’t even know what they don’t know. They’re naïve about the pressures and so nervous about doing a good job that they pay attention to all the wrong things and add all the wrong value. But, shucks, they’re trying!
Some of the ways you’ll need to manage up with your new manager include:
Stakeholder DynamicsA new manager might not be shrewd about the key players in the organization. So help them navigate the political landmines by sharing the political dynamics, including your team’s allies, adversaries, and swing voters. Suggest friendlier folks your boss might want to enlist and highlight the risks with anyone known to be ornery.
Team MembersIf your new manager comes from outside your team, they will need time to figure out the owner’s manual for their direct reports. You can manage up by providing tips about everyone’s sweet spots and some techniques that position them for success. Please do NOT complain about your colleagues; that’s not managing up; it’s gossiping.
Managing Not DoingPerhaps the most common redirection a new manager will need is to help them add value as a manager rather than as a producer. Draw their attention to those higher-order issues by saying, “Let me take a stab at this, and then I’d love your feedback on where it could use some case examples.”
Managing Up When You Have an Unskilled ManagerAnother type of manager who will need a little help is the person who’s thrown into a leadership role without technical expertise. For the most part, I don’t think you need to be able to do the work to manage it, but sometimes something gets lost in translation. For example, the unskilled manager doesn’t know what it takes to accomplish a task (or how long). As a result, they might be prone to over-promising and selling you up the creek.
Some of the ways you’ll need to manage up with your unskilled manager include:
Crash CourseFrom the get-go, you’ll need to help your non-technical manager understand the components of your work and some of the nuances that wouldn’t be immediately obvious. For example, you can help them understand the nomenclature and jargon people throw around (don’t forget the acronyms). It’s also helpful to walk them through past projects or upcoming roadmaps with an insider’s view of what they’ll need to pay attention to (and what they can ignore).
Realistic ExpectationsWhen your hot shot new boss comes in, they’ll likely want to use your excellent work to enhance their reputation. You can help manage those ambitions to ensure they under-promise so you can over-deliver. Establish a rapport where you can be candid with them about what’s reasonable, what’s a stretch or a moon shot, and what’s a safe bet. But don’t sandbag expectations, or you’ll lose their respect and your opportunity to manage up.
Effective ApproachesYour non-technical boss doesn’t know what’s impossible, so you will have to help them land on the plans that give your team the best shot at success. Avoid saying “no” to a misguided strategy, but do manage up by sharing examples of what has or hasn’t worked in the past and asking questions to gently guide their attention in a different direction. For example, “If your goal is to increase our speed to ship new software, what do you think of shifting to an Agile development method? Would you like me to take you through what that might look like?”
Managing Up When You Have a Micro-ManagerWhile I empathize with new and non-technical managers, who are out of their element, I have much less tolerance for micro-managers. When you’ve got a manager that’s a foot deeper in the weeds than you are, managing up is essential to get them out of the way so you can get something done.
Some of the ways you’ll need to manage up with your micro-manager include:
More Important QuestionsMicro-managers are infuriating because they tend to present themselves as overworked martyrs, but all their effort is on the things you could do without them while they neglect the things only they can do. Argh. Manage your micro-manager by directing a steady stream of more important questions their way. “I’ll finish the draft, so you don’t have to spend time on that. Where I’d really appreciate your thoughts is how we should approach the review process.”
Frequent Check-insSome micro-managers are just hypervigilant because they’re nervous you won’t deliver and that they’ll look bad as a result. Keep your micro-manager up-to-date on your work, so they never need to come to you to be in the loop. If you marry the first and second suggestions, your update format can include everything you’ve got in hand and a “more important question” that you would love their help with.
Safe SpacesThere’s another version of a micro-manager; a person who doesn’t want to be a manager. It’s a person who loves doing the work and is unfulfilled by their more hands-off role. It’s the marketing manager who wishes they were still doing creative or the engineering partner who misses drawing up a design. In that case, one way to manage them is to teach them how to be a good mentor. Ask them what you should be thinking about as you do the work. Get them to regale you with stories of their past glory.
So there you have three common reasons you might need to manage up. You’re saddled with a newbie, your boss is a leader but not a doer, or you’re being micromanaged within an inch of your life. I haven’t even mentioned non-strategic, out-of-the-loop, paranoid, indecisive, or flip-flopping managers. Still, hopefully, based on these three, you can tailor your own managing up techniques to the particular brand of inadequate boss you’ve got.
There are many reasons why you need to manage your boss and different approaches to draw on depending on the cause of their shortcomings. If you go in with the attitude that you want to help your boss be the manager you need, managing up will yield good results.
Additional ResourcesHow to stop the cycle of micro-management
Disagree with your boss without getting fired
March 12, 2023
Managing Up as a United Team
Help! My boss doesn’t have a clue! That was the call I answered in my last post, sharing advice and strategies for managing your boss when they can’t figure out how to manage you.
That post focused on a situation where you, alone, are managing up. And while I’m all for accountability and self-reliance, you probably don’t have to go it alone if you’ve got a useless boss. You’ve got team members who are just as disillusioned and eager for things to change as you are. So, let’s talk about how you and your colleagues can manage up as a united front.
How to Manage Your BossBefore you think I’m advocating insurrection, it’s worth taking a moment for you and me to agree that what I’m advocating is not insubordination, manipulation, or usurpation. Instead, everything I will share is intended to help your boss achieve their needs and the requirements of the organization. You’re compensating for your boss’ shortcomings, not taking advantage of them. Ok, with that public service announcement out of the way, vamos!
Create a Team ForumIf you’re going to manage up, your team will need a forum to talk candidly with one another and to coordinate your approach. This could be an in-person discussion, a Zoom call, or a Slack channel. (And before you tell me there’s no chance you’d have these discussions anywhere they could be exposed, let me remind you of the above point. This isn’t sabotage or insubordination. If someone “catches” you and your teammates getting aligned about who’s been asked to do what, you say, “yes, we’re just trying to make sure we know what’s doing what.”
Decide What You Know and Don’t KnowUse your team forum to keep an up-to-date tally of what you know and don’t know. Your unreliable boss may have actually communicated something to one team member from which you can all benefit. This is the time to find that out. It’s also the opportunity to discuss what your boss has left unsaid or ambiguous.
For anything you know, decide who’s acting on the information. For anything you suspect but aren’t sure of, assign someone to ask the clarifying questions. Finally, for anything you’re in the dark on, align on how you’ll broach the subject with your manager.
Focus on What, Why, Who, and WhenThe essential information you need from your manager is answers to the what, why, who, and when questions. What you don’t want your boss answering is the how questions. One of the reasons you might need to manage up is because your manager answers none of the what and why questions and too many of the how.
You can influence your boss’ input by framing great questions that focus their attention on the highest value. Try these:
What needs to be included to make this report complete?What’s the importance of the pilot phase?Who are the stakeholders we should consider in the revised design?When do you want to share our thoughts with the team in marketing?You’ll notice that question #2 answers a ‘why’ question without framing it as a why question. That’s because questions that start with the word why are seldom a good idea and definitely not advised with a boss who might get defensive.
Take TurnsOne of the best things about managing up as a team is that you don’t need to bear the brunt of your manager’s ineptitude every time. Taking turns allows you to share the load. It also lets you see if one person’s strategy is more effective than others so you can adapt and learn how to manage up more effectively over time. And if your inept boss gets frustrated that you’re forcing the issue, at least their ire gets spread around.
You can use your team forum to agree on whose turn it is, or you make the lateral pass in the moment when one of you isn’t getting a good reaction from Blundering Boss.
Meeting After the MeetingWhile “the meeting after the meeting” is often a sign of team dysfunction, indecisiveness, or passive-aggressive issues, when you’re trying to function as a united front in the face of an incompetent manager, it’s a necessary coping strategy. The meeting after the meeting is a great way to divide up shared accountabilities, divvy out the workload, and align around expectations. Sure, those are things that your manager should have done in the meeting, but woulda’, coulda’, shoulda’.
Changes in DirectionIf your manager decides to change tack in the middle of a project, circle the wagons and make sure all your colleagues 1) got the same instructions and 2) are responding in a way that’s well orchestrated. This might even be a situation where the boss is getting cold feet or having second thoughts, and your team might want to advocate to stay the course. This is a useful form of managing your manager. In this case, being a united front will be helpful.
What Not to DoLet’s go back to the idea we discussed at the outset—managing up is about getting something you need and deserve that allows you to do what’s required. It’s the high road, not the low road.
With that in mind, these are things NOT to do with your team in response to a terrible boss.
Gossip and ComplainPissing and moaning about your crappy boss won’t improve things, and it doesn’t pass the “don’t care if someone overhears” test. What IS ok, and even helpful, is to have a safe place to vent. What’s the difference? Venting is letting off your own steam. It’s talking about how the boss’ behavior is impacting you. So, “I can’t believe you got different instructions than me, and now we’re both re-doing the whole report!!” Gossiping would be, “Can you believe what an incompetent a$$ our boss is?”
Defy Your Manager’s WishesAnother no-no is intentionally ignoring your boss’ explicit instructions or even their implicit wishes with your version of a better idea. Managing up is using influence to mold your boss’ plans. You’re not allowed to just make your own. That means you involve the finance team if that’s what your boss wants, even if you believe that will slow things down or create unnecessary headaches. Sure, you can take a stab at questioning that decision by pointing out the risks to your boss, but once you’ve shot your bolt, what the boss said, goes.
Go Above Your Boss’ HeadThe last verboten approach to deal with an ineffectual manager is to pull rank and go above them to get what you want. I know it’s tempting, but it will put your manager in a very awkward position, and an uncomfortable or defensive boss will not improve your life. Instead of cutting your boss out of the conversations with higher-ups, find opportunities to have conversations with your boss and their boss simultaneously. That’s where it’s ok to ask questions your boss hasn’t answered: “We were just talking about where this project fits in. I’d love your perspective on that.”
There are too many managers out there who, for one reason or another, don’t provide you with the direction and support you need. Some are too green to know what’s required; others are overwhelmed, timid, or stuck in the weeds. But, regardless of the reason for your boss’ lack of value, there is hope to be found in working with your colleagues to cobble together what you need.
Additional Resources10 Tips to Prevent Misalignment from Destroying Trust
How to handle the Flip-Flopping Boss
From HBR: How to Tell the Difference Between Venting and Office Gossip
March 5, 2023
Managing Up: How to Deal with a Useless Boss
I ranted on LinkedIn last week about the Microsoft study that reported that 85% of managers are paranoid that their remote employees are ineffective. I came down hard on managers for not knowing what their employees were accomplishing. But Gordon Goldschleger commented that, while managers were at fault, employees could do more to manage up. And he’s so right!
Now, I’m on your side here. It’s not your fault if your boss doesn’t know what they expect from you or can’t tell whether you’re achieving it. But while it’s not your fault, it is your problem. Sigh. Leaving your manager in the dark will amplify their paranoia and open you to even worse forms of bad management like micromanagement or open hostility. So, because I don’t want that for you, I’m going to give you some strategies to manage up.
If your boss isn’t managing you, you’re going to have to manage up. But what exactly does that entail?
What does managing up mean?I checked out a few definitions of managing up and was entirely underwhelmed by what I found. For example, one article in Harvard Business Review says, “It means being the most effective employee you can be, creating value for your boss and your company.” That’s not too helpful, is it?
Another article refers to managing up as “consciously working for the mutual benefit of yourself and your boss … understanding your boss’s position and requirements and making yourself known as a stellar employee by exceeding her expectations and needs.” I felt like I needed a tall glass of water to wash that saccharine crap down. Gack!
Fortunately, I eventually found some helpful advice from the fabulous Whitney Johnson. She says, “Try turning this power struggle on its head and think of your boss as a client – as if you were working freelance. Johnson encourages us to see managing up as “solving problems your stakeholders need solved.”
That’s more like it. Managing up is reversing the direction of the relationship. Instead of your manager keeping you on the straight and narrow, you do it for them. You help them be the manager you need to accomplish what is required of you. It’s the old help me help you scenario.
Now that we’re clear about what it is, how do you pull it off?
How You Can Manage Up EffectivelyYou can take these simple steps to help your boss be the manager that you (and your stakeholders) need them to be.
1. Clarify expectationsOne of the most costly omissions of a lackluster boss is that they fail to communicate what they want or need from you. (Which, unfortunately, doesn’t stop them from being disappointed that you didn’t deliver it.) To rectify this, ask open-ended questions such as “As we kick off this project, what are you counting on me to deliver?” If it works, great. You’ve taught your boss the first lesson of Management 101—You have to tell people what you expect of them!
Now, for some managers, that’s not going to be enough. It’s not just that they don’t communicate what they need; they don’t even know what they need. In that case, be ready to shape the answer with a question like, “It seems like Gena has the design covered. Does it make sense for me to focus on the roll-out?” Then, slowly mold the expectation until you feel confident you know what to do. “Ok, I’ll focus on the roll-out. What are your thoughts on which regions go first?”
Another way to get clear on expectations is to get a sense of how your boss is being evaluated. That’s because one of the best ways to manage up is by helping your boss shine in the eyes of their manager. You can ask your boss, “What is Laura expecting of you?” Or, if you have a relationship with your boss’s boss, you can request it directly, “Laura, what are you counting on our team to deliver with this project?” Even if your boss is a weak link in the middle, you’ll be working in the right direction if you’re clear on what the big boss needs.
2. Ask for what you needOnce you’re clear on what you need to do, your attention should shift to getting what you need to be successful. But, again, your manager probably hasn’t clued in to their responsibility for securing resources. No worries, you’re there with a few gentle hints to get them focused on what matters. Try, “If I’m in charge of the roll-out, I will need connections to the field. Could you connect me with Eric in Atlanta?”
Again, there’s a chance you’ll get nothing in response to an open-ended request because it requires too much effort or because your manager wouldn’t even know how to make a request of Eric. You’ll need to do more heavy lifting if you need a round two. For example, “I realized I hadn’t summarized the project for you. So I’ve drafted an email describing what we’re looking for. If you send that to Eric and copy me, I’ll follow up with him.”
You want to be a little careful in managing up so that you don’t become condescending or make it feel to your manager like you’re taking over. If you position it as I know you’ve got a lot on your plate, or I don’t want you to get into the weeds, your manager is less likely to get defensive.
3. Share what you’re prioritizingOnce you’ve got your plan, go back to your boss with a high-level overview of what you’re doing first and what you plan to do later. That gives the boss a chance to shift the order of your priorities (unlikely) and gives you a confirmation point in case they flip out about your priorities after you’ve started (more likely). For example, you might say, “I’ve built out a plan, and to get the pilot going as fast as we’d like, I’ve pushed the western region out until May. How does that land?”
4. Check-in with updatesHere’s the tricky one. Your crappy boss might be content to ignore you until the work is due. Tempting. So tempting. But when you’re managing up, you take the initiative and help your boss focus on the appropriate checkpoints. “Here’s where we are with one week left before the pilot. I would particularly value your input on the town hall messaging.”
5. Manage their timeAimless managers are often terrible time managers. You pop by their office, and 15 minutes later, they’re still telling you some irrelevant story about the last meeting they were in. Part of managing up is helping your manager use their time wisely. Take control of the agenda to make sure you get what you need. For example, “We only have 30 minutes, so I’d like to spend the first ten sharing the update, and then I’d like 15 minutes to get your input on the talking points. I’ll leave 5 minutes at the end to align on the next steps. Does that work?”
6. Summarize your contributionsGuess what else your cut-rate manager isn’t likely to do—give you feedback or the recognition you deserve. That’s another chance for you to manage up. At the end of your project, summarize what you accomplished. Heck, you can do your own performance review if you’d like. It will probably be a relief to your manager. “We got the rolled-out on time and budget, and it got a great reception from the field team. I’m working on a better FAQ document for the next phase because that’s where I didn’t put enough energy, but overall, I think this was a big success.” The good news is that your ineffective manager will likely agree and parent this feedback to others because that’s the easiest thing to do.
Managing up is not slimy or manipulative; it’s simply getting what you need to do the job you’re paid to do. Of course, it would be nice if your manager could do that without prompting, but you can’t have everything. So instead, you can flip the relationship on its head and subtly manage your manager. Sadly, they probably won’t offer you a cut of the pay cheque they aren’t earning, but at least your efforts will pay off in more traction in your job and less hassle.
Additional ResourcesHow to handle the Flip-Flopping Boss
Whitney Johnson Managing Up Without Sucking Up
Karen Grant The 8 Tips on How to Manage Up Successfully
February 26, 2023
I Failed, but I Want to Be Accountable
This four-part series has focused on accountability. We started with the steps you can take to show you’re accountable, then got into messier territory talking about how to cope when you have accountability without control. In the most recent post, I called out managers who think that shared accountability is a good idea and offered three alternatives. Now, let’s talk turkey. What happens if you blow it, belly flop, let the bottom fall out?
If you like to think of yourself as an accountable person, it’s painful when you have to come to terms with letting yourself or others down. Whether your version of failing was losing your nerve, missing the mark, dropping the ball, throwing in the towel, or going down the tubes, you’ll need options for where to go from here.
The good news is that you have many options. If you handle the situation well, your reputation as an accountable colleague and direct report will likely be intact—and maybe even strengthened.
Your approach and options for recovering from your flop depend on whether the process is still underway (and therefore, there’s time for a last-minute save) or whether the final gong has already rung. So, let’s take each possibility in turn.
If It’s Not Too LateBy “not too late,” I mean there’s still an opportunity to deliver some version of what was expected. It might be later than everyone intended, less grand, or more expensive, but it’s not a lost cause. If the door is still open a crack, you’ve got these options:
Clean SlateYou might have failed to deliver the first time because you had competing priorities for your time and energy. If you can plug those drains on your attention, you can take another pass at the work. In that case, you might say something like…
“I didn’t finish the report on time, and I know that’s left you with less time to review it before it goes out. I made a mistake trying to write the report and a proposal at the same time. I’ve spoken with Joyce, and she’s agreed to take over my proposal work so I can give my full attention to the report. Would it be ok if I had it to you by end-of-day Friday?”
New ApproachIf you failed to deliver because you weren’t approaching the task correctly, you might be able to resuscitate it (and, with it, your reputation) by adopting a new approach. If you’ve flopped once, you might want to go one step further and enlist the help of others to develop or validate that approach. You could say…
“I didn’t get the design done, which meant you missed sharing it at the monthly committee meeting. I apologize. My error was that I tried to get input through a survey and didn’t get a sufficient response. I’ve spoken with a few folks across the team, and they recommended I set up individual appointments instead. Could I have two weeks to try that alternative approach? I’ll send invites today, and if I don’t get enough uptake, I’ll come back to you tomorrow to figure out a different way.”
Revised ScopeIf the issue was an overly ambitious goal, you might have the chance to renegotiate the definition of “done.” If you can define the project’s scope more tightly, you might be able to deliver. You could try…
“I didn’t get all the phases of the project plan mapped out, and I realize that is creating some anxiety in the team. I feel bad about that. I think I got flummoxed trying to map out the later stages before we’ve made some of the decisions at the early gates. What if I were to share the detailed map of the first two stages and only a high-level view of stages three to six?
Lateral passMaybe this particular task just wasn’t in your grasp. If that’s the case, the best way to demonstrate your accountability is to find the person who would be better suited. Don’t just dump the work on anyone passing by; once you recommend someone, your reputation will be tied to theirs. Instead, do your homework and find someone you are confident will succeed. Then test it out with…
“I didn’t deliver on the new performance management process, and I feel terrible that we’re now only eight weeks until launch. I realize now that I lack experience doing this work with field staff. I’ve asked around, and Denice is the expert. Would it be ok if she took over and I helped her instead?
FormulaIn each scenario, the formula is to state clearly and objectively what you didn’t accomplish, describe what you believe to be the impact on others, then apologize. From there, you can share your take on the problem and propose a new option to deliver the next-best alternative to what you committed to in the first place.
If It’s Too LateSometimes it’s too late to recover. The proposal is sent. The presentation is over. The launch had to be canceled. In those situations, you’re into risk reduction and reputational remediation territory. Don’t despair; own it and show you’ve learned the lesson.
ApologizeNow’s the time to pull out your BEST apology. Not the low accountability, flaccid apologies described in this excellent HBR article like “I’m sorry this happened” or “I’m sorry I had too much on my plate.” You want a chin-up, arms-wide, full ownership apology. Check out my formula for a great apology.
MitigateAfter apologizing, the low-accountability person slinks off into the shadows. The high-accountability person finds ways to mitigate the risks of their failure and to reduce the damage done. For example, if you missed a due date, can you work extra time to catch up or assist the people downstream who now have less time for their part of the project? If you delivered a poor-quality presentation and the client’s not happy, can you provide something of extra value to get you back in their good graces?
LearnThe next step is to learn your lesson; that might require a few steps. First, reflect on what happened and interrogate what caused you to fail. Next, frame the issue differently and look for the root causes. Next, do a little homework and figure out other options you might have used and different approaches that would make you more successful next time. Finally, once you’ve arrived at your conclusions, share what you’ve learned with your boss or colleagues so they see you know better now.
I particularly love this oft-quoted Thomas Watson line…
Change
“Recently, I was asked if I was going to fire an employee who made a mistake that cost the company $600,000. No, I replied, I just spent $600,000 training him. Why would I want somebody to hire his experience?”
– Thomas John Watson Sr., IBM
The final test of whether you’re accountable is how you show up the next time. This is your chance to show that you’ve grown and won’t make the same mistakes again. If your mistake the last time was missing the mark, spend more time confirming expectations this time. If you missed deadlines, check in at frequent milestones. If the quality of your work wasn’t up to par, share your plans before starting and your drafts before finalizing.
My friend Laura Gassner Otting says that failure is not final or fatal. Instead, she encourages us to see failure as a fulcrum. It’s a pivot point. Walking through these steps will preserve your reputation as an accountable person and even earn you points as a quick study.
February 19, 2023
The Problem with Shared Accountability and Three Alternatives
Shared accountability is weak accountability.
If your goal is to establish a weighty sense of obligation to get a project from conception to delivery, shared accountability is your nemesis. Shared accountability diffuses responsibility, complicates planning, and enables blame. Two heads are not, in this case, better than one.
So, why do so many managers delegate assignments to two or more people without assigning a single owner? Why do we hear managers say, “ok, you two figure that out?” Why do we see spreadsheets with two names in the owner cell? Why do we overhear people unsure who to look to for key decisions on a project?
I’ll try to answer my own questions. Why? Because many projects don’t have an apparent single owner, managers don’t feel they have options other than spreading accountability.
If you’ve got tasks where you’re tempted to assign shared accountability, here are three alternative models you can try to restore a single owner and avoid the pitfalls of shared accountability.
Assigning Accountability‘Which accountability model you choose depends on the scenario and the reasons why assigning a single owner is difficult in the first place. Here, I’ll give you three options. With each, I’ll spell out the implications on you as the manager and give you some coachable moments to watch for. Let’s dive in!
Divide and ConquerIn cases where completing the task requires completely different systems, skills, or sensibilities, the next best thing is to divide the project in two based on the nature of the work. That way, you avoid shared accountability by assigning a single accountable person for each component of the task.
Example: If you’re assigning someone to lead the sales pitch to woo a valuable potential customer, you might delegate ownership of the content and pricing to one person while assigning the look, feel, and delivery of the presentation to another.
Manager’s Role in Divide and ConquerWhen you use a divide-and-conquer strategy, you’ll need to retain accountability for integrating the two parts. It will fall on you to ensure that the content and the look and feel are cohesive and complementary by spending time with both parties upfront to envision what’s possible and then ensuring they connect along the way.
Coachable MomentsThe risk with dividing the accountability is that each party sees and cares about only their project component, sub-optimizing the whole. Watch for unwillingness on the part of either owner to incorporate the expertise, ideas, or critiques of the other owner into their own efforts.
Pass the BatonDivide and conquer makes sense when you don’t feel comfortable assigning a single owner because there are two distinct components of a task. In other situations, your inability to assign a single owner is based on the shifting requirements of a good leader at different phases of the project. In this case, you can assign one owner for the first phase of a project and another for the next stage.
Example: If you’re initiating a new budgeting process, you might want someone with intimate knowledge of your financial systems and a whiz-bang understanding of how the data need to be used to lead the design phase. Once the process is built, you might lean toward someone with a robust change management sensibility and skill in managing a complex roll-out to take over. In that case, you can divide the project into design and delivery and transition the ownership in the middle.
Manager’s Role in Pass the BatonWithout a single owner throughout the entire process, the risk is that there will be something lost in the handoff. Your role is to ensure that the leaders manage with the whole process in mind and that everything is preserved in the transition.
Coachable MomentsThe risk with dividing the accountability is that each party optimizes for their phase in a way that compromises the project overall. For example, watch for the design owner being dismissive of the implementation implications of their decisions. Similarly, watch for the implementation owner taking expedient shortcuts for roll-out but threatening the system’s integrity.
Escalate if NecessaryAnother scenario is where you authorize a single person to make the decisions on a project but allow a select group of people to escalate the decision if they deem it necessary. Allowing escalation is a common and valuable framework for decisions that have legal or regulatory ramifications.
Example: Your marketing team is looking for new lead generation software. It’s logical for the person in marketing to have accountability for selecting and implementing the new tool. But one of the key stakeholders in the decision is someone from IT security. Now imagine a scenario where the front-running software application has significant security risks. If the marketing person listens to the risks and decides to proceed anyway, you might end up in a precarious situation that could pose material risks to your business. In that case, you might have a provision for the security person to escalate the decision to you.
Manager’s Role in Escalate if NecessaryWith escalation privileges, your role is to be the arbiter of whether the risks are material enough to override the decision made by the accountable person. You’ll need to determine whether the risk is a deal-breaker, and therefore the lead will need to abandon their preferred path or whether there are accommodations that would allow the project to proceed.
Coachable MomentsThe risk with allowing parties to escalate is that they abuse that privilege and escalate rather than pleading their case effectively to the decision owner. Watch for lazy or rigid behavior on the part of those with escalation privileges. Also, watch for poor judgment on the part of the decision owners and clarify your expectations about how they address material risks.
Fostering accountability is critical to high-performance teams. Unfortunately, managers focused on accountability can sometimes think that having more people accountable will increase the sense of accountability when it often erodes it. If there is no tenable way to assign a single owner for the whole project, try one of these approaches instead.
Additional ResourcesHow to Show That You’re Accountable
Being Accountable When You Don’t Have Control
From Harvard Business Review: How to Hold Your Team Accountable with Compassion Not Fear
February 12, 2023
Being Accountable When You Don’t Have Control
When was the last time you were accountable for delivering something but didn’t have control over essential parts of the process? Do you recognize that sinking feeling of depending on someone for something that could hugely impact your success, reputation, or compensation? It’s not the best feeling, is it?!?
While having a gap between accountability and authority is unpleasant, it’s not uncommon. Here are a few examples:
You’re the sales manager accountable for the pitch to ACME, but finance owns the pricing decisions.
You’re a product manager responsible for growing market share, but you’re dependent on engineering to build new features in your product.
You’re a marketing specialist tasked with delivering a new lead generation campaign, but you need someone in the security team to approve your new vendor.
There’s probably some version of this that applies to your role. You’re the one that higher-ups will look at if the pitch fails, the product fizzles, or the leads dry up. So you’ve got all the accountability without the authority, all the load without the leverage, all the culpability without the clout.
When Accountability and Authority Don’t MatchWhen you find yourself in a situation where your accountability and authority don’t line up, there are a few things to do to increase the likelihood that your colleague will deliver.
Before You BeginWhile it’s tempting to send an email request and then sit back, assuming you’ll get exactly what you’re looking for when you need it, it’s a low-probability strategy. So instead, when your manager assigns you a new task that requires others to do some essential component, take the time to set yourself up for success.
Talk with Your ManagerFirst, clarify your manager’s expectations. Ask what you’re expected to deliver and the why, when, and who questions that will give you the context for your work. Make sure you understand fully what’s expected before passing requirements on to others. Enquire whether the other parties are already informed about this task or if you’ll be expected to bring them up to speed.
Talk with the Responsible ColleagueWhen you approach your colleague, start in curious mode. Focus on their reality, not yours. First, share the requirements and ask them to give you a sense of what it will take to meet them. See if they have any questions or need you to clarify before proceeding. Next, ask what else they have on their plate and where your task fits their priorities.
This is also a good time to share the stakes. Communicate the importance of your task, where it fits in with other initiatives, how it affects various stakeholders, and the ramifications if you cannot deliver.
One tip. If the person you depend on reports to someone different than you, it’s best to have this conversation in the presence of your manager and theirs. If your managers aren’t aligned about your task’s priority, you will have a tough time getting what you need when you need it.
Along the WayNow that you’re underway don’t disappear and hope for the best. Instead, use light-touch approaches to keep things on track.
Let Software Do the NaggingWhen you’re counting on someone else to deliver, it’s easy to be a little heavy-handed. However, breathing down someone’s neck is likely to irritate them, not motivate them, so try to use a less invasive approach.
Create a central repository in some form of project management software. Use it to document the plan, milestones, and deadlines and allow the notifications in the software to remind your colleague about looming deadlines rather than nagging them yourself.
Make it Safe to Share ChallengesOne thing that might require a more personal touch than project management software can provide is identifying any potential roadblocks. To ensure you’ve got plenty of warning and time to adapt, check in with your collaborators to get a sense of their progress. Ask, “Where are things at,” “What challenges are emerging,” “What do you need to be able to deliver,” or “What help do we need?”
If your questioning does uncover issues, ensure you express gratitude that the person is sharing their concerns rather than showing frustration. If you’re accountable, it’s always better to know the issues than to have them surprise you at the last minute.
If you’re in a position to resolve the issues, remove the roadblocks, or otherwise remedy or remediate them, great! If not, as the accountable person, you’re the one that might have to go looking for help. Don’t be afraid to take concerns to your manager or even the other person’s manager in search of additional resources, problem-solving support, or revised expectations.
If It’s Not WorkingHave the Uncomfortable ConversationYou’re accountable for completing the task, so if your colleague has stopped delivering, you need to talk with them about what’s going on and give them feedback about how their performance affects you. Remember the structure of good feedback:
Orient to the Situation: in the plan, you committed to having the code done on TuesdayDescribe their Behavior: It’s Thursday, and you haven’t finished it yetShare the Impact: I’m getting worried that I’ll only have three days for quality testingHand Over Accountability: What would it take to get this by the end of the day?Escalate For AdviceIf your feedback doesn’t get you anywhere, you might need to involve your manager in getting things moving. Remember, this is all about taking accountability, so you don’t want to go to your boss, throw up your hands, and dump the accountability for the project in their lap. Instead, share what’s been happening and ask them to coach you on the next steps or approaches you might try.
The magic of asking for advice is that you’re showing that you’re still accountable and willing to learn and change tack, but you’re also highlighting to them that there’s an issue. That might encourage them to keep a closer eye or even add some support if required.
There’s no foolproof way to guarantee that your colleague will deliver, but investing time upfront to ensure everyone has the same expectations, keeping track of progress and establishing early warning signals of trouble, and using feedback and escalation if required to help get things back on track will give you the best shot at delivering what you signed up for.
Epilogue. Once you survive the situation and deliver what you were accountable for, take the time when there’s less pressure to build relationships with your colleagues that will strengthen your connection, bolster empathy, and foster trust so that the next time you’re counting on them, it will be all the more likely that they’ll go out of their way to deliver. My favorite proverb about this is
Additional Resources“Don’t wait until you’re thirsty to dig a well.”
How to Show That You’re Accountable
How to Decrease Accountability
Other Advice: Doholis Lambert. Responsibility Without Authority: Dysfunctional Delegation
February 5, 2023
How to Show That You’re Accountable
I hear leaders talking about accountability, but I sense that the more they push, the less they get in return. I called out eroding accountability as one of five leadership crises in a talk I gave last week. So, putting my money where my mouth is, I’m going to devote this month to sharing ideas and tools to bolster accountability on your team.
I’m going to start by talking about what accountability is (and isn’t), and then I’ll give you simple steps to bolster people’s confidence that you’re accountable. In the following posts, I’ll tackle the challenges of living up to your accountabilities and fostering accountability in others.
What Does it Mean to Be Accountable?Being accountable is owning your obligations. It’s internalizing your role in a broader system and working diligently to deliver what you’ve committed. Being accountable is persisting until the task is accomplished.
Accountability is an internal process.
Unfortunately, much of our language about accountability is about external enforcement rather than internal obligation. So when your boss says, “I will hold you accountable,” they’re saying, I’ll act as if you feel accountable, even if you don’t. That’s not a good substitute.
What Does it Take to Be Accountable?“Liane, do we have to over-complicate this? Isn’t accountability just doing what you say you’ll do?”
Sure, but for most complex, interdependent, ambiguous tasks you’re coping with, it’s not quite as simple as “just do it!”
Although there is no universal process for being accountable and demonstrating your accountability to your boss or others, here are the things you can do that would make me confident that you’re taking accountability and that you’ll get a good outcome:
Paraphrase what you understand to be the assignment, goals, and what success looks like. Restating the expectation demonstrates that you’re processing the information deeply, not just nodding and walking away clueless.Ask questions to clarify the requirements and expose aspects of the task or problem no one has yet considered. When you go beyond the ask, I see you taking ownership of the outcome—engaging your head and heart, not just your arms and legs.Explore the thresholds for when you should persist, course correct, or escalate. Anticipating issues is encouraging because it means you appreciate there are pitfalls. Things might not go smoothly, and you want to respect the balance between taking ownership and taking unnecessary risks.Confirm timelines, milestones, deadlines, and interdependent projects. Clarifying the game plan makes me feel like you appreciate everyone who is counting on you.Ask for input about stakeholders, precedents, novel approaches, or good sources of information. Soliciting ideas highlights your desire to do things well, not just expediently.Check-in to share your plans, progress, concerns, and challenges. Providing updates helps me relax, knowing that you’re on top of any emerging issues and I’m not going to get an unpleasant surprise.Coordinate, influence, and coach those whose efforts you depend on to deliver. Engaging with stakeholders shows me that you feel ownership over aspects of the work you aren’t doing yourself.Notice when your original approach isn’t working and share your thoughts and ideas to course correct. Course-correcting makes me less worried that you’ll persist ineffectively.Ask for help by narrowing in on an issue you believe is the crux of where you need support rather than expressing general frustration and exasperation. Identifying the problem suggests that you haven’t abdicated ownership and can be trusted to work through the current struggle.Apologize, identify what went wrong, and propose a new approach if things go poorly. Taking ownership of a setback shows that you understand the ramifications of failure and that you’re not willing to accept defeat.Not every situation will call for each of these steps, but demonstrating a few will go a long way to showing that you feel accountable.
Want to use this approach or share it with your team? Click the image to download the Accountability Checklist
When People Question Your AccountabilityWhile we’re at it, let’s pick off a few behaviors that will leave your boss or colleagues sweating over whether you will deliver.
Pretend to understand or be on top of something when you’re not.Claim to be “done” when your task is complete, but your colleague’s components of the job are not.Tell someone to do something, and when they don’t do what you asked, throw up your hands and say, “Well, it’s not on me then.”Put your head down to do your part without communicating anything. (Even if you’re entirely accountable, you’re messing with people’s confidence by not keeping them in the loop.)Make excuses or blame others when you fail to deliver on time.Focus on getting the result with no concern for collateral damage done in how you accomplish it.It’s worth taking a few deliberate steps to show your boss and colleagues that you understand your obligations and you’re taking the steps needed to deliver.
Additional ResourcesWe NEED to Change the Way We Talk About Accountability
How to Decrease Accountability
Expert Advice: Kathy Caprino in Forbes: 4 Ways To Take Accountability For Your Actions (And Why So Many Don’t)
January 29, 2023
Want People Back in the Office? Deal with the Meeting and Email Burden
This is the third and final instalment in my series about how badly we’re botching the return-to-office transition. This time, I’m putting leaders in the crosshairs and imploring you to reset our workdays, especially the unrelenting torrent of meetings and emails, if you expect people to return to the office.
If you missed the first two installments, read them:
The Return to Office Fight is About Control, Not Productivity
and
We Should be Fighting for Community
before you dive in here.
If you don’t have the time or inclination to do that, the crux is that:
1) managers need to appreciate the sacrifices involved in returning to the office and provide as much flexibility as possible so that employees can tailor their work experience to their needs; and
2) Employees must think beyond their short-term comfort and individual targets and consider their obligation to contribute to strong team, organizational, and civic communities.
We Need ReliefTo this point, I’ve been doling out advice about what managers and employees need to do differently in the pitched battle over returning to the office. Now it’s time for leaders to take ownership of the mess that is our current work week. Employees need relief if they’re going to embrace a return to the office.
Too Many MeetingsAccording to research by Microsoft, employees are sitting through 250% more hours in meetings now than before the pandemic. Reclaim.ai showed a similarly dramatic increase, with the average post-pandemic week packed with 21.5 hours of meetings compared with 14.2 hours before Covid.
If we add the email burden, the picture gets more alarming. Research by Linda Duxbury and Andre Lanctot of Carleton University suggests that the average knowledge worker spends 25% of their workweek doing email and another 5.3 hours responding to email outside work hours. McKinsey data puts the percentage of the week dedicated to email at 28%.
Add it up; twenty-one hours of meetings and another 12 doing email. That’s 33 hours of your work week gone leaving only 7 hours to think, read, research, coach, ponder, reflect, write, analyze, and prepare—and that’s only if you forego time to eat or pee (which helps in the short-term, but not the long term).
Reinvesting Saved TimeData suggest that remote workers save an average of 72 minutes daily by not having to go to the office. (Most of that is the 55 minutes saved by not commuting. I suspect the other efficiencies come from a combination of not having to find the matching lid for the container you packed your salad in, being able to wear the same pants five days in a row, and not having to make the back of your hair look presentable).
Those who work remotely then reinvest 40% of those savings into work (while 34% goes to leisure and 11% to family). Without the commute, that adds up to half an hour more every day for your employees to respond to emails or do tasks that didn’t get done during the workday because they were in meetings from dawn to dusk.
As a leader, where does the overflow go if you stick with the current meeting and email burden and now require employees to come back to the office? As far as I can tell, if they’re commuting from 8 am to 8:30 and 5:30 to 6:00, the only place to get individual work done is even earlier in the morning (before the commute), later in the evening (after the commute), or on the weekend.
For many knowledge workers, asking them to return to the office is asking them to divert more and more personal time to work. That’s a bad deal. I don’t blame them for rejecting it.
Time for a ResetThis is a perfect opportunity (when work schedules and habits are up in the air) to completely reset how people spend their time. While there are a zillion different ways that you can find efficiencies and increase effectiveness, the foundational requirement is to address the meeting and email suffocation.
Reset MeetingsIf you’re in the midst of a transition back to the office, use the opportunity to do a complete reset on your meetings. Let’s get back to the 14.2 hours of pre-pandemic times, so people have seven extra hours for independent work. Try one or more of the following:
Introduce one or two meeting-free days each weekCap the total hours per week individual contributors can spend in meetingsInstantly reduce the length of all standing meetings by halfReduce the frequency of standing meetingsIntroduce in-person huddles with no chairs (watch the duration drop!)Shrink the participant list for meetingsAllow meetings only during certain hours and have meeting blackouts for productivityIf you want a more systemic fix, you’re going to need to:
Address kludgey organizational structures where accountability is unclearEmpower single decision-makers to make the call and have consequences for those who stand in the way of implementationPrioritize and phase work so individuals are working on fewer things at once, allowing them to focus and move efficiently through deliberationsWork through the conflict debt that’s contributing to additional meetings before the meeting and after the meeting.Resolve trust issues that contribute to inefficient meeting dynamicsAnd Wrangle the Email MonsterWhile you’re at it, have a think about whether you’re ok with paying for 11.7 hours of email a week. What’s it doing for your business? Get some tips in my article How to Stop Email from Being a Soul-Destroying Task.
Workload has become unmanageable. Many employees are keeping their heads above water by repurposing the time they used to spend commuting to squeeze in some of the work that was squeezed out by a steep increase in meetings. If you want people back in the office more often, you must address the meeting bloat and the email monster.
Maybe if we reduce the meeting and email burden, people can leave their work at the office. We’ll benefit from re-establish the healthy boundaries between work and personal time that got obliterated during the pandemic. That would be good.
Additional ResourcesStop Doing THIS if You Want to Have More Effective Meetings
Your Best Contribution to a Meeting Might Be to Not Attend at All
Reduce Stress with These Best Practices for Virtual Communication
Video: Deciding What’s Office Worthy
January 22, 2023
We Should be Fighting for Community
In my previous post, I made the case that we’re thoroughly messing up the effort to get employees to return to the office. Managers are arguing that remote work hurts productivity when there are now plenty of data to show that productivity doesn’t decline (and might even increase).
While managers and employees debate productivity, the real fight is about control. Employees have been able to build work environments that suit their styles, meet their needs, and incorporate their personal lives. So, it’s no surprise that they aren’t keen to give power back to their managers, especially because managers don’t seem to appreciate the magnitude of the sacrifice it will require. They’re offering no better rationale for the return than “because it’s your job!”
The scales are tipped in the remote work direction, and since productivity doesn’t tip the scales, remote work is still winning. Some high-profile CEOs such as Elon Musk, David Solomon, and Bob Iger are putting their fingers on the other side of the scale, telling people to return to the office “or else….”
You won’t be surprised to hear that the threats and ultimatums approach is not good for engagement and that most employees forced against their will to return to the office full-time report that they will search for alternate employment. I’m with them. I’m an office advocate, but even I think requiring five days in the office is ridiculous, short-sighted, and unjustifiable for most knowledge-worker jobs.
So, if claims of enhanced productivity aren’t convincing and threats and consequences aren’t wise, where do we take the return-to-office conversation? I think the answer is to community.
We’re Missing the Value of CommunityIn creating our remote work routines—honing our schedules, workspaces, and Zoom backgrounds—we’ve created tighter and tighter cocoons around ourselves. But, unfortunately, we’ve disconnected from our teammates, coworkers, and neighbors in the process. Research is only starting to measure the cost of this shift, but the early signs are alarming.
Strong Ties are WeakeningAt the start of the pandemic, many employees counted on their teammates to help them endure a highly stressful time. I saw wonderful examples where remote coworkers accommodated each other when personal responsibilities interrupted work tasks. Many more people took time at the start of their video meetings to ask, “how are you?” and then listen empathetically to answers that were often emotionally fraught. It was an impressive display of the value of a strong team, and it showed in an 8% increase in belonging indices in 2020.
Three years later, those strong teams have weakened. The players have changed. I’ve worked with many teams where the members have never met each other in person. They don’t know much about one another other than what they glean from a few hours of Zoom calls each week. There isn’t the same “got your back” feeling. Relationships are more transactional, trust is eroding, and we’re paying the price of isolation.
It’s not just my hunch. Gallup’s research shows that fewer employees report having a best friend at work, which has been demonstrated over decades of research to predict many important outcomes for the individual and the business. Glint’s 2021 study showed that disconnection from colleagues was the most cited cause of burnout, and their 2022 research shows that 35% of employees who work in a hybrid model feel even less connected to their teammates than they did in 2021.
We need to share this research. We need to show how isolation is affecting mental health. We need to make changes to allow individuals more control of their environment. We need to revamp our meetings and office days. We need to help individuals overcome the social anxieties built up over three years. We need to help them reconnect with their colleagues.
Teams Are in TroubleRemote work hasn’t just impacted us as individuals; we also see a hit to team trust. Not being physically together robs us of many opportunities for communication, and we miss essential content and context. I wrote about the importance of mutual knowledge and the unflattering judgments we make without it here. (The article includes a link to exercises I created to help you bolster mutual knowledge on your team.)
Teams will feel the impact of waning trust in myriad ways. Trust predicts team performance because it supports effective communication, productive conflict, creative contributions, willingness to seek and offer help and to move beyond a strict economic relationship toward proactively contributing to the team’s success. Trust makes it safe to be vulnerable in ways that contribute to a more productive, innovative, and efficient team.
Redefining ContributionAs long as we measure people’s performance based on how many lines of code they write or how many reports they produce, we’ve got no leg to stand on in encouraging them back to the office. They will write more code if you leave them be.
Only once we define people’s roles as contributors to healthy, productive teams with clearly articulated expectations for responsibilities beyond their individual tasks (such as supporting people who are developing, contributing to others’ ideas, and identifying risks and assumptions in plans) will we have the data to justify returning to the office. The ball is in management’s court.
Weak Ties are MissingEroding our strong ties will profoundly affect our individual quality of life, career development, and team performance, but strong ties aren’t all that’s at stake. Weak ties—those casual acquaintances who are the background performers in our lives—are being lost rapidly.
Gillian Sandstrom estimates that in pre-pandemic times, we interacted with between 11 and 16 casual acquaintances like the barista, security guard, or receptionist each day. When we work remotely, we drastically reduce the number of interactions we have with our weak ties. Sandstrom’s research shows that these interactions make us happier, helping our emotional and social well-being.
When Bob from Sesame Street sang about the people in your neighborhood, he was on to something. We’re better off being a part of something.
Now pivot your perspective and think about how many people in your neighborhood (or your city’s downtown) are unemployed or underemployed because you don’t go to the office. How many small businesses are suffering? How many students can’t find a job to pay for their tuition because cafes and restaurants are half-full? How many actors, artists, and musicians can’t make ends meet without the serving jobs that get them from gig to gig? What happens to your city if the downtown hollows out?
In my city, foot traffic downtown is down 46% from pre-pandemic levels. Interestingly, this contrasts with increased foot traffic in smaller cities and towns. Recent surveys show that the resistance to returning to the office is more of a big-city phenomenon. But what does the world look like if Toronto, New York, San Francisco, and London have hollow centers? Is that what we want?
And if not, are we hoping that other people will leave their comfy cocoons and keep our cities vibrant and healthy so that we don’t have to?
Balancing Control and CommunityBeing a part of a healthy community, whether that’s a team, an organization, or a city, requires trade-offs, compromises, and sometimes discomfort. It’s not as easy as hiving yourself off in your home office. It means standing beside a stinky person on the subway, tolerating distractions and close talkers, or suffering micro-aggressions from ignorant or awful people.
Being a part of a community requires you to put yourself out there and be vulnerable in ways big and small. But we are wired for connection, and the longer we ignore that fact, the more lonely, isolated, unwell, and entrenched we’ll become.
If most of us don’t return to the office a few days a week, we will end up with the communities we deserve. I suspect we won’t like what we become.