Gae Polisner's Blog, page 14

Friday Feedback: Starstruck, Grade School Pals, and the William Tell Overture

probably a few years before I actually
read Regarding the Fountain to them...
aren't they cute? When my boys were younger (just a few short years ago -- how did they fly by so fast?), I read aloud to them every night. I can still remember the feeling of choosing a book together, diving into the story, chatting as things unfolded. 
One of those books was Kate Klise's Regarding the Fountain, a delightful, watery mystery told in faxes and letters (with Sarah Klise's charming illustrations). Those were the days before I could imagine the reality of being a published author myself, and was still writing only women's fiction.
Fast forward till now and imagine my star-struck glee when I extended the offer to a bunch of Algonquin Young Readers cohorts to join me for Friday Feedback, and quickly received an email from Kate Klise (!!!) saying she'd be happy to oblige!
This is Kate Klise! Isn't she lovely?
She's my new BFF. Sorry all you old BFFs, but
she's Kate Klise, after all... 
In case you live under a book-less, library-less rock, Kate Klise is the award-winning author of more than twenty books for young readers, including Regarding the Fountain, Dying to Meet You, and Stand Straight, Ella Kate. Most of her books are illustrated and designed by her sister, M. Sarah Klise. You can read all about the Klise sisters at their website: www.kateandsarahklise.com (or, you know, click on their names where I just linked to it). 
Anyway, Kate (and Sarah!) have a new young reader series, THREE RING RASCALS, coming out from Algonquin YR, and the first book, Three Ring Rascals: The Show Must Go On, comes out this fall!
Kirkus Reviews has said of the first book, "Entertaining... children will agree the book is smart and wonderful."
And if it's not awesome enough that Kate's here giving feedback, she also has a song for us all. So, without further ado, I give you the awesome Kate Klise:
Whenever I go to a high school reunion, the people I spend the most time with are my friends from grade school. These are the kids I grew up with; the pals I learned to read with and stood next to at First Communion—after we nearly killed each other playing dodge ball. These are also the only people in the world I’ve ever sung songs with in a loud voice.
Now let me be clear: I am not a good singer. I have no business singing in public, and my good sense usually keeps me from doing so. But when I get together with my old elementary school friends, I find myself singing—reallysinging. We rarely leave a reunion without belting out our grade school greatest hits: “Erie Canal” and “Old Polina.”
This is a long way of asking: Am I crazy to want to include song lyrics in a new series I’m working on for 7-to-10-year-olds?  The first book in my Three-Ring Rascals series will be out in September. It’s called The Show Must Go On! I wrote the climactic scene as a song that can be sung to the tune of “Erie Canal.” (Will young teachers even *know* this song?)
The second book in the series, The Greatest Star on Earth, will be out in spring 2014. I’m writing the pivotal scene in that book so that it can be sung to the tune of the William Tell Overture, also known as the Lone Ranger Theme.


(Am I insane? Is this a bad idea? Please tell me.)

By the way, this is a circus-themed series for early independent readers that I pitched as “Downton Abbey” meets Doctor Dolittle. My sister Sarah’s illustrations are as adorable as you can imagine. Oh, and we’re going to run a fun feature on a new website where kids can apply to join the circus by writing us a letter, filling out a job application, and getting a letter of recommendation from a friend or relative. (He he he. Diabolical, eh?) You can read all about it here.  http://www.threeringrascals.com/join-the-circus.html
Okay, so here’s the excerpt.
Now, remember: Try to sing these words to the tune of the William Tell Overture:


When you’re sick
     When you’re sad
          When you’re feeling blue
When there’s ick
     And it’s bad
          And you think life’s through
When you’re down
     In the dumps
         And the smiles are few
Call our naaaaaaaaame! We’ll be there for you!
When you’re worried   
     And you’re stressed        
          And you feel left out
When you’re hurried
      And distressed  
          And you want to shout
When you scurry
     To be best
         But you’re full of doubt Call for our naaaaaaaaame! We’ll be there for you!
                    (Refrain)  We’re two mice and a crow with a show we hope will make the sadness go away.   We’re two mice and a crow with a show we hope will help to save this lousy day.  We’re two mice and a crow with a show we hope will make the badness go away.  We’re two mice and a crow with a show who really only want to say . . .
Can Three-Ring Rascals help our friend today?
Can Three-Ring Rascals make this end okay?

*        *        *
Okay, Kate here again. I don’t expect nine-year-olds to know the William TellOverture. But will teachers know it? (Is it in the new Disney “Lone Ranger”movie?) Will teachers sing it? Might this be a fun way to combine reading,writing, singing, research (about classical music) and a performance? This is the kind of thing I would’ve loved as a kid—dressing up like a mouse or acrow and belting out a silly song with my classmates--but is this precisely the sort of fun, subversive learning that Common Core is determined to stomp out?
Please tell me. And let me see what you’re working on this summer. And tell me if you agree that nothing beats catching up with old pals from grade school.

-Kate Klise (& Gae Polisner)
p.s. **please remember there are RULES, y'all. If you've not been here before, please click on the word RULES and read them before your post, and please don't post more than 3 - 5 paragraphs. Thanks! **

Friday Feedback, Drafty First Drafts and Painting a Chair

Me, proudly sporting my Geneseo pride on
behalf of my son. Somehow, it's already time for another Friday Feedback. 
Hope you all had a happy fourth! Now, to slow summer down.

You heard me, Summer! I really, really need you to slow down.  

Yeah, yeah, I know. Time waits for no one, whatever.
At any rate, I finally returned from my sundry travels, the last bit to attend college orientation with our son. I was really impressed with the quality of things at the school and am excited for my son's future, which is not to say, come August, I won't be endlessly (endlessly!) weepy.

Meanwhile, I have another wonderful guest host today (the summer is chock-full of them, wait till you see!): my Class of 2K11 now "The Graduates" cohort, the lovely Alissa Grosso. . .
I asked Alissa for a photo. She sent this one and said, 
"this is a picture of me being goofy. If you'd prefer a more serious mugshot, I can comply."
Hmm. Sort of tempted to see the mugshot. Come on, Alissa, fess up!**


Alissa is the author of Popular, Ferocity Summer and . . .
releasing THIS MONDAY, her third amazing book, Shallow Pond.
"Everyone in Shallow Pond knows the Bunting Sisters. 
Nobody knows their Secrets. From Amazon:

Annie is the oldest. The sickly one who gave up on her own life so she could raise her sisters after their parents died. Gracie is the wild child. She wants a man so bad, she’ll do anything it takes to get one. Barbara, the youngest, hates being constantly mistaken for her sisters. She wants nothing more than to finish senior year and get out of Shallow Pond—before she succumbs to her unwanted attraction to the new boy in town, Zach Faraday.When Annie’s enigmatic illness takes a turn for the worse, Barbara begins to search for the truth of her family’s past. But Shallow Pond offers only lies and deceit. The one thing Barbara can trust is her halting connection to Zach—an unsettling bond that may be the answer to a mystery that doesn’t want to be solved."
*Gae tosses confetti and waves sparklers to congratulate Alissa on her THIRD book.*

Doesn't that sound SO good?! Alissa writes terrific stories with dark, troubled characters and plot twists galore. Like all my guest authors, she'll be spending lots of time here today and tomorrow, so please check out her books, and add them to your TBR lists, your classrooms, and/or libraries!
Before Alissa gets going, if this is your first time here, or you don't know the Friday Feedback Rules, please go read them HERE now. And, do please remember that your excerpts should be no longer than five (count em, 5!) paragraphs if short, three (3!) if long , and please don't post them after Sunday morning.
So, without further ado, here's Alissa:
I'm excited to be a guest on Friday Feedback this week, because I just finished the first draft of my current work in progress. From experience, I can say that means I am nowhere near done, but still this small milestone is a cause for celebration in my writer world. As I get set to knuckle down and turn this mess of words into something that more or less resembles a novel, I'm going to share some ideas on revision, and how I go about things.
First of all, I should explain what I mean by first draft. To me, a first draft is a mostly complete version of the novel that is very rough in some parts. It's at about 60,000ish words right now, and from experience I can say that number could change by 5,000 in either direction depending on the course of those revisions.
Once I type the last word of my first draft, I email a copy of it to my secondary email address for backup purposes. (note from Gae: I am constantly emailing copies of my manuscripts to my husband's and my own email address, at the end of most every day. He knows to just delete the last one and save the most recent one). Then I walk away from the manuscript. I move onto something else, maybe sketch out some ideas for another book or take a short writing break. 
In my case, I decided to paint a chair.    Revision = a blue chair.
Why? Because I had an ugly one and I saw this project online. Of course, I decided to do this during the most humid week ever and so the paint won't dry, and I'm stuck with a half painted, wet chair. I should have sketched out some ideas for a new book.
After maybe a week or so, I'll go back through and try to fix up the gaping holes (I think she means in the draft manuscript and not the chair!) and the really glaring grammar problems, which abound. 
I know the difference between there, their and they're, but when I'm typing at a million miles an hour to complete a passage I'm not worried about these differences. I'll even do really goofy things like type won instead of one. There are reasons I don't like to share my first drafts with others. 
There are other things like things that just say Mr. X because in Chapter 25, I couldn't remember the name of the gym teacher I introduced in Chapter 1. (omg, I do this too! I feel so much better. Sometimes, I'll use an actual name not sure if it's the right name and then I'll think, Ooh, I like that name so much better!) 
Then there are the really lazy things that say, "INSERT SOMETHING FUNNY HERE." I'm not making this up, I actually do this to myself. (yep, yep, again, me too! Or, say, "google a cool fact about butterflies and insert here" or, just today,"insert what they eat in Hong Kong.") It's okay, though, it's a first draft. That's allowed.
Alissa's binders of printed manuscripts,
plus "glue from some other
ill-advised
project."At this point, my manuscript is still just words on a computer screen, but that's about to change. The next step is to print everything out. I love 3-hole punch paper. I love my laser printer. I take my manuscript and put it into a binder.

Now, suddenly, it's a book!
(ooh, nice trick. I have about three unpublished manuscripts. Maybe if I just put them in binders, I could pretend...)
I grab a colored pen. Red's my favorite, but any color will do, and now I read through my book, this time with the aim of polishing things. Passages that are too clunky or don't make sense are refined or crossed out completely. Words are replaced, paragraphs are rewritten and new paragraphs are added. This sort of revision is intensive work, and is best tackled in small chunks. I usually give myself a couple of weeks to get through this stage of the revision.
Once I'm done, I sit back down at the computer and transfer all these on paper to changes to the computer document. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I could save a tree and the money I spend on toner not to mention the time that all this takes and just do all of this right on the computer screen, but the reading the book on paper is part of the process for me. I see things and catch things that I miss on the screen. I know some writers who swear by the practice of reading their manuscripts out loud. I urge you to try out different methods to find what works for you. (I do both the hard copy thing and, constantly, the reading aloud thing, but with the hard copy thing, what happens for me is that I make it about a third of the way through, begin to feel overwhelmed, start inputting my revisions onto the computer copy, and three weeks later find myself working straight on the screen without ever having finished revising the hard copy. Hey, it still works most the time!)
Once these changes have all been made, I usually do a quick on-screen read through to make sure things are in good shape. Then it's time for the scary part. I get to send this precious book of mine off to my agent, who will likely see some major issue that I missed completely and then it will be time for another set of revisions to fix this issue so that the book will be in good enough shape to be read by an editor.
You would think with all this revising and rewriting, that by now the thing would be flawless, but it's not. Editors will have more changes they want to see, sometimes before they're willing to accept the book for publication, and others that will come a bit later in the process. Then there are copy edits, and then proof pages before a book is actually ready for publication. So, that's why though I'm excited about finishing this first draft, I know it's a long way from being done.
Anyway, appropriately enough, I'm going to share a passage from this current work in progress with you. It's the very beginning of the book, so I'd love to hear your thoughts on whether it draws you in and makes you want to read more. 
(or, you know, as Gae says *ahem* 1. does it hook you? 2. What works for you? 3. what doesn't?)
This is from a YA contemporary with a female protagonist. If you'd like, I'd also love your thoughts on the tense. This particular passage is in present tense which is how I started out writing the book, but somewhere along the way I shifted to past tense and I'm still trying to decide which works better. (Ah, yay, a common issue for us writers):



1: October 30
     I can spot a carefully disguised write-my-term-paper plea from a mile away. The words, "Tutor Needed for Sophomore English" look like dollar signs to me. Nobody needs a tutor for English class. Some are even less subtle. "Need help with The Grapes of Wrath. Will pay." I mine the guidance office job board on a regular basis. It's a bulletin board filled with potential ways for enterprising students to make some extra money. Most of the jobs are astoundingly craptacular. Mr. Wertz, who teaches basic algebra has been trying unsuccessfully to get some poor schmo to remodel his kitchen for the grand total of $50 since at least last March, and if bagging groceries is your thing, you'd be in luck since there's two different grocery stores on the board seeking entry level workers, nights and weekends a must. I only bother with the term papers. It's easy money. I spot one that reads, "Tutor wanted. Must be familiar with aspects of the U.S. involvement in World War I." Bingo. I pull it off the board, and shove it in my pocket.     Ryan Sutter, who would easily be voted least likely to succeed if the yearbook committee had that as a category steps out of one of the counselor's offices and gives me an idiotic sneer as he walks past. I've never written a paper for Ryan Sutter, but that's only because he's too stupid to realize he could pay someone to write the paper for him, instead of turning in a barely rewritten Wikipedia article that if his teacher is in a generous mood will earn him a D minus.     "Nice mask," Ryan tells me. It's the day before Halloween, and half the school has decided to celebrate this fact by showing up in costume. I'm not wearing a costume. Neither, as it happens, is Ryan.     "Right back at you," I say.
     "Huh?" he asks. Apparently, I was supposed to be so insulted that I ran off and cried in the girls' room or something. Ryan wasn't prepared for this eventuality. He doesn't know me that well. I shake my head at him and roll my eyes then head to Mrs. Banks' office.

----

xox Gae (& Alissa!)

** Okay fine, I left out the part where she stated, "I've never been arrested, but you know what I mean."

Friday Feedback Bonus Post: Pantsing Doesn't Necessarily Mean No Pants at All

So, for those of you who participated in our last Friday Feedback, I promised I'd share a "pantsing it" tip with those of you who are pantsers, but still know in your heart that, at some point in your writing career, you are going to have to break down and outline.

Let's call it the dreaded o-word.

I hate it. Don't you?

Just the thought of having to make an outline could scare me away from writing forever.

So, what do we pantsers do? We say, f*ck it, and we just write.

BUT, suddenly, you (we) are finished with your rough manuscript and you now have a 50K or 80K or 180K manuscript (please don't have a 180K ms unless you really, really, really have that much valuable to say and are writing fantasy or other genre fiction ;)) and you need some way to organize, to know where to insert things or flesh out, to know whether your story is flowing or not.

And yet, the thought of that f*cking o-word thingy is still daunting.

It feels cold, and dry and unappealing. Antiseptic.

It feels like what teachers made you do in high school.

So, here's what I do: I make a "first line, last line" chapter overview with some minimal bulleted actions included below each where needed to remind me of any major plot-point actions contained within the chapter. So, for my current ms, it looks like this:


Better, right?

It allows me to go from chapter to chapter seeing if the action flows, if there's a rhythm, and to leave myself notes what needs to be built up before it occurs later on, what needs to be fleshed out, and where transitions may not be working as well as I had hoped in my brain.

Here's a longer view of my current first line-last line chapter overview (see, I've managed to create another o word, but at least it's not THE o-word):

Chapter 1: end of  April
“I move the wire hanger loop toward the butterfly’s abdomen, my thumb and forefinger pressed gently on its fore and hind wings to steady it. . . If only fixing the other things in my life were that easy.”        JL fixes butterfly wing        Aubrey says ‘that thing’ about the Jezebels         JL introduces Max … “wont wait forever.”

Chapter 2: a few days later: early May
“If a person is crazy but beautiful they get away with it way more than someone who is just plain crazy. Take Lindsey Lohan. Or even Tom Cruise, for example.  Take my mother. . . The doctor says she has Disassociative Disorder. I say, great, fabulous. Now how do we fix it so she stops writing crazy letters to a dead man?"
·       finds mom writing a letter·       memory of Dad going away, kimonos details…
Chapter 3: same day (cont’d)
“The letter writing started a few weeks ago, a month or two after Nana gave Mom that black and white coffee table book for Christmas: The Beat Generation of the 1950’s with his face plastered all over the cover. . . No matter what I said, it wouldn’t help. It wouldn’t stop the K-whack letters from flowing.”·       K-whack letters·       JL’s name….
Chapter 4: few days later early-mid May
“Max stretches out his arm so that it rests on my night table, and slips his other hand down the back of my shorts. . . He’s staring exactly where I knew he’d be. I swear I hate her. I swear I could die right here.”
·       “Jailbait”·       California – bike stuff (dirt bike vs. fixed up road bike… mentions guitar/band/Cousin Jason)·       Mother all “AW”
Chapter 5: the next day mid May
“The next day, I decide to tell Max everything about Mom and her nervous breakdown… So what if he isn’t good enough for Ethan? At least he loves me, and I love him, and every single Anderson can go to hell. So why as he drives away, do I have to fight from bursting into tears?”
·       Aubrey goes to study, half-heartedly invites her·       Ethan shows up (pool party memory)·       Max arrives – E vs. M tension
Chapter 6: same day/moment – early mid-May
“Which is, I think, the exact moment I start thinking about going to California. . .  ‘I’m telling you, Jailbait, Kerouac is awesome,’ he calls after me. ‘I would write letters to him.’
·       tells Max about her mom·       fooling around in school parking lot…·       Discuss Max’s house… dad an alcoholic   Chapter 7: same day/moment – early mid-May
“I want to stay mad at Max, but I can’t. . . Max laughs and I open my eyes. Things come into crisp focus again. ‘You’re beautiful, Jailbait,’ he says. “
·       Learn max’s mom/dad history ·       Max’s room, Hendrix, beers, bj, Mary Lennox memory. . .·       Kawasaki Ninja, Blue Morpho, Waverly Mall (Hell), field, fingers…
Chapter 8: that evening – early mid-May
“I tell him I need to study, so Max drops me home around five. . . I stand to leave. ‘But, just so you know, I liked that Aubrey, the old one, the one who wasn’t fake and mean and afraid, so much better,’ I say.”
Chapter 9:  New chapter few days later – latish May
“Exams come and go and the school days turn into that weird mix of sleepy and boisterous, halls both quiet and empty as seniors finish up and drop out of the picture until prom and graduation, and the rest of us try to focus and bear down, heavy with the burden of the New York Regents and other final exams losing the battle against spring fever. . . I close the drawer and stare at myself in the mirror. Where is that Norman Rockwell girl now?”
·       Bedroom/childhood/On the Road/perfume bottles
·       Kimonos/vanity/pink box

-----
Hope this helps some of you. Keep writing!
xoxo gae

Friday Feedback: Flying by the Seat of Your Plot or Pants?

Hey, campers. Welcome back to Friday Feedback! 
Some of you are old pros by now, right? 
Okay, maybe not exactly. But, still, ask anyone. It's fun here and we don't bite. If you haven't been here before, please go HERE and read what this is, why we do it, and mostly the full rules and rationale behind them.
While you're doing that, I've glammed myself up over here because today I have one of my most uber favorite people in the world hosting for me, Geoff Herbach. 
He's funny, he's talented, he's debonair.
This is Geoff. You should check out all his books because he is
funny, witty and brilliant. Trust me here.See? Can't you just tell he's debonair?
Truly, there are few people I'd trust enough to leave Friday Feedback with while I'm off gallivanting (it is my 20th wedding anniversary this weekend so I'm with my husband, but will pop by when I can. And, yes, I know, I know, I look way too young. Fine, I don't actually. Whatevs. Just go with me here.) 

Anyway, you're in excellent hands with Geoff. You will love him. And here are just a few quick reasons why:STUPID FAST.NOTHING SPECIAL.I'M WITH STUPID.
These are Geoff's first YA books, and they are brilliant and oh-so funny. If you want to hook boy readers, these books are the thing to do it. If they're not there already, they need to be in your classroom. But you don't have to take my word for it. They've won plenty of awards. More importantly, Geoff knows his audience and he's on a mission. If you want to understand why (and him) better, read this really incredible post from Geoff at the Nerdy Book Club HERE. I can tell you that when I Skype into classrooms and mention Geoff's books (which I almost always do), the boys who have read them become animated and passionate as they talk about how laugh-out-loud-funny and buzzed up with energy they are.

Anyway, as you can imagine, Geoff will be devoting lots of time here today* so please do check out his books, share them with your students, and ask your local booksellers to keep them well-stocked on their shelves.  

So, I thought it might be great to have Geoff -- who, btw, teaches creative writing at Minnesota State, Mankato, and, who also, btw,  has a new three-book deal with Source Books -- talk a little about the dreaded "How to Get Started" and whether one should "pants"** it or plot it. 

So, without further ado, I give you my pal, Geoff Herbach. 


Me with Geoff, this one time in NYC I can't talk about.
Oh hush. Fine. I can. 
Geoff: Okay, I don’t know anyone who has unlimited time to write.  We have a few hours here and there that, over the course of many months, may add up to just enough time to complete a project. 
That’s why this drives me crazy.
I find it hard to start a story.  Really hard.  I can have an idea and a character and a place and a time and still, I have a hard time getting my story rolling.  I’m writing my sixth novel right now and in all cases but one, starting the thing has made me want to jump off the roof of my house (not much of a jump, but still). 
Here’s the thing I keep telling myself: You don’t need to know everything right now .  You can’t know everything right now.  Part of the joy of writing is the awesome sense of discovery that comes from sitting down, doing the work, putting the characters into motion, seeing what they do.
Here’s the other thing I keep telling myself: You better figure out what’s going on right now or you’ll be writing off in tangents and you’ll go nowhere and pretty soon you’ll hit your deadline and you’ll have two hundred thousand words that add up to a giant pile of melting butter.
mmmm... butter. But I digress...

The first thing I tell myself gives me freedom and joy and not nearly enough pressure to accomplish crap. 

The second thing I tell myself causes me to outline like a wild man until I have a whole story in notes and that removes all joy and all discovery and soon I have no interest in writing that story.
If you go to a lot of writing craft talks, you hear this kind of thing all the time.  One guy will say, as if it’s God’s truth, “Outlining is essential.”  A woman will then come to the mic and say with equal gravitas, “Outlining is the death of creativity.  You’re a hack if you do it.”
Over the course of the last few books, I’ve actually started to do both and neither.  Because I not only enjoy, but need to learn my character and story by writing a lot, I allow myself to write into a project maybe fifty pages or a hundred pages a few times.  Yes, I’ll figure something out about the story or the character or the voice and I’ll start over.  Once I feel like I have my legs under me and I’ve got a really good start, then I’ll outline like a wild man, with the understanding that I may need to break that outline if something amazing reveals itself (I sure hope it does).  In this way, I can find both the joy of writing and (so it seems) the end of the project.
I’ve started recommending that my students go after their short stories and novels in the same way.  Write in, get your footing, then start planning for how this thing might find completion.  You might try it yourself.

(Gae: As a bonus, once we get rolling here, I will share with you in the comments a neat little sort of outlining trick/idea/concept/something-or-other I came up with for myself being the total and utterly hopeless "pantser" that I am, that others have liked and used when I've shared before.)
In any case, below is the current first bit of my new book.  I’ve written in to the story, found my footing, and am now pushing toward completion (which might reveal something amazing that will necessitate re-writing the beginning). 
I look forward to hearing from you and seeing your work.

(Gae: Before Geoff shares his excerpt, I remind you briefly of the rules: 

1. Since this is an opening, tell Geoff if it hooks you or not. 
2. What works for you and why? 
3. What doesn't if something doesn't and why? 
4. Feel free to share your own brief excerpt in the comments for the same feedback. Please     ONLY share between 3 - 5 paragraphs, 3 if they are long, 5 if short. We do not promise to read more if you go over. 



Geoff: GABE, THE MAIN CHARACTER IN FAT BOY VERSES THE CHEERLEADERS, IS BEING INTERVIEWED AT THE MINNEKOTA POLICE STATION.
Hi, there. Good to meet you, too, Mr. Rodriguez.I'm fine.  Feeling great, really.  I slept like a baby.  Nice cot in that jail cell!Four hours sleep, at least.I wish they had a dimmer switch on these lights, though.  They're giving me a headache.  On TV, interrogation rooms at the cop shop are always really dark.  What's up with the Minnekota PD, huh?  It’s like noon sun in this place.The light isn't that big a deal.No, I'm not hung over. I've never had a drop of alcohol in my life, sir.  This isn't some kind of alcohol fueled riot aftermath.  I robbed that pop machine with a sober mind and a clean heart.You’re my lawyer.  I’m going to tell you the truth.  I robbed that machine!  Dad and Grandpa told me to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.Me. Rode my bike to the school, which I don't enjoy. (Bikes hurt my ass.)Nobody else involved.  Just me.  Just me on my bike and my robbing skills, which I learned from the internet.  Yes.  I stole the money.  I can show you how, too.  If you look in the pocket of my hoodie, you'll find the diagram and the list of instructions.  Can’t believe the cop didn’t take it.  He took the money from me.I’m not going to help the Po Po, man.  I will have my day in court! I didn’t tell them anything.  They tried to beat it out of me!  Jackass officer ripped my band hoodie and I skinned my damn knee!  Check this out.  Pretty bad scrape, right?  Police brutality.Please.  Just me.  Just me.  I'm the one, okay?I’m the head of Geekers United, but nobody else came with me to the school.A flock of sheep?  Like, literal sheep?  Baa baa?  In the school this morning?Holy balls.  Uh huh.  Yeah.  I must’ve let those sheep in by accident.Sure.  Let’s start from the beginning.

***Okay, campers, you're up. Be kind to one another, be constructive, be gentle, be real. Happy Friday Feedback!

- gae

*I will be popping in as best I can now and again through the day and weekend, but definitely not as much as last Friday. Geoff will take care of you, no worries. And please don't post excerpts after Sunday morning.

** In case any of you don't know "pantsers" or "pantsing" refers to the concept of writing without an outline = flying by the seat of your pants.

Friday Feedback 2013 - Taking My Own Crap Advice

First of all, for those of you who don't yet know me,

This (that) is me.

Welcome to my blog,

and Friday Feedback.





I assume many (most? all!?) of you here today are from Teachers Write!

If so, KUDOS! You are in for an exhilarating writing summer chock-full of tips and advice from some awesome guest authors, "super-speed flash edits" (tm) (okay, fine, lie, not tm, sue me) and camaraderie that will make your head spin.

Well, something like that.

At any rate, forgive today's looong post, lots to cover. Future posts will be short and sweet and succinct (maybe). But today, not so much.

First, let me first tell you about Friday Feedback and why I started it. Let's do that interview style to break up the monotony:


Okay, Gae, so, what is the point of Friday Feedback and how does it work? 


Why, the point is to get and give feedback in a fun and supportive environment (with some basic hard and fast rules). 
Under the theory that "brave is as brave does" (that's a theory, right? Precept? Well, whatever), I -- or one of my guest authors -- will post a BRIEF writing tidbit and then an excerpt from something we're working on and we ask for some basic feedback in the comments (see below for details). I will offer (and hereby am offering) you the same opportunity to post your own BRIEF excerpt in the comments and receive the same feedback from me or the guest author, or both, plus from any of my writer or non-writer friends who might happen to stop by the blog.

Why do you love this feature? 
Good question! You see, writers often write in a vacuum. 
Nope, not that kind of vacuum. (why, yes, I have used this joke before, got a problem with that?)
As such, you’ll often hear us lamenting that we have no idea if something we’ve written is great, 
or if it’s crap. 

Sure, you think we're exaggerating or being humble when we say that, because you’d think we’d know -- that we could easily tell the difference between gems and crap. But sometimes, honestly, we just can't. 

Sometimes, the chasm of self doubt we writers stare down is just that gaping and wide. 

If you don’t believe me, here’s a quote I often cite from an interview with the master, William Goldman (Marathon Man, The Color of Light, The Princess Bride), IMHO, one of the greatest writers and storytellers of all time:

“One of the things I love to do when I work with young writers is  to disabuse them of the notion that I know what I'm doing.  I don't know what I'm doing. . .  as we are speaking, I am looking at my computer, tearing out my hair,  thinking, well, is this horrible, or is this going to work?  I don't know. Storytelling is always tricky."
gosh, how I love this man's writing. . . 

So, yes, I admit it here and now: I often have no idea what I'm doing. 

Really? Okay... well, then, I'm sold on the concept. I'm in! So what are the rules about feedback and BRIEF excerpts, and why do you keep capitalizing the word BRIEF? Do you think we're thick?

Yay! Glad you're on board! And, no, of course, I don't think you're thick at all. But sometimes, in our exuberance, some of us aren't always the best listeners. *tsks* 

So, here's how it goes:

I, or my guest author(s), will prepare a post always followed by a BRIEF excerpt of our own writing, sometimes rough, sometimes more polished (our excerpts may be longer than yours. Hey, we run the place ;)), for which we would love the following feedback -- and will offer the same to you on any BRIEF excerpt you might provide in the comments between Friday and Sunday (we make no promises on excerpts posted after Sunday):

• If the excerpt is from the opening of the story, please tell me/us: does it "hook" you enough to make you want to keep reading? 

• No matter what point in the story the excerpt is from, tell us what works for you, and why?

• What doesn’t work for you (if something doesn't) and why?

See? Totally simple. :)

As for why I keep emphasizing the word BRIEF, there are two reasons: (1)  for my and my guest authors' sanity. Some weeks I/they/we am/are reading up to 30 or more excerpts, and this summer I have a feeling it could be more! and, (2) (and perhaps more importantly) I have no way to protect your work from reading eyes -- and make no promises to. Place an amazing opening up here and someone could always snatch it up. As a writer I don't worry too much about this myself, because there's plenty of content floating around out there, and anyway, any such thieves would have to be able to run with it and that's not (as we all know) as easy as it sounds. Still, I don't want to be responsible for someone lifting a whole chapter of your work from my blog. 

This means that, no matter how much I -- or my guest authors -- choose to post at our own risk, when you post, PLEASE limit your excerpt to between THREE and FIVE paragraphs,  and no more . Three if they are long-ish, up to FIVE if they are short. If there's more, I may only read the first 3 - 5 paragraphs. If the comment gets too long, feel free to reply in two separate comments. 

Once in a while, if an excerpt lends itself, I will perform a "superspeed flash edit" tm (okay, fine, not tm) on it to illustrate some concept, for example, that you've overused a word, or you've used a tense or unneeded words that slow the piece down. Consider it a bonus not an insult (or so I hope!), and, as always with the feedback provided here, take it for what it's worth. If for some reason you don't want me to superspeed flash edit your piece, just tell me so, and I won't. It's just sometimes a great way to illustrate a point.

As for our feedback: use what you like, toss out what you don't. It's your work. They're your words. It's your art.

Also, if I don't already know you and it's the first time you're posting, please identify yourself as a Teachers Write! camper if you are... if you are a student from a particular class I've Skyped with, etc., please identify yourself too. Even if we met on Twitter a few nights ago, please reintroduce yourselves. It may take me a week or two to get to know you.

And, remember, we're all trying to be constructive here. So be honest, but be kind, and expect the same in return.

Okay, got it! Now you're sort of just rambling on and on. So, um, can we get started?

Yes, let's! (Geesh you're all so bossy already). Here we go. 

So, why I titled this blog post the way that I did: I think Teachers Write and Friday Feedback couldn't have come at a much better time for me. Because, I've been really struggling with a manuscript and, thus, having to take my own crap advice a lot these past weeks, namely to let my writing be garbage. MOST FIRST DRAFTS ARE GARBAGE. That's how it is for all of us. It's only in the struggle of revision that the real beauty takes place and storytelling gets done.


My baby
in its paperback incarnationHere's the quick evolution of the said manuscript (ms) I'm working on, currently titled, Jack Kerouac is Dead to Me. 

I originally wrote JKiDtM about four years ago, as a follow-up option book for my The Pull of Gravity editor, but after I completed it, I was worried it wasn't going to be right for her. Right around the same time, I had started a second ms called Frankie Sky -- now soon to be released as The Summer of Letting Go (Algonquin Young Readers, March 2014) -- and as soon as I got into the meat of that story, both my then-agent and I thought it would be a better choice to submit as my option. Alas, my editor didn't connect with the story at all and turned it down, and it took me several more major revisions, a new and wonderful agent, and another year to sell it to my new editor at Algonquin. 

(and, yes, I am excited!)

Anyway, now working on next books, my current agent read the rough draft of Jack Kerouac (which I hadn't worked on in a few years) and thought it had a lot of potential (seemingly seeing past the crap writing, the poorly-drawn characters and the wholly pornographic content of the story *coughs a little more*). 

He gave me some great direction and I've been working on revisions since early May. 

But, here's the thing: IT SUCKS. IT'S GARBAGE. AND IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY! 

Er.

So, I'm trying to take my own advice to let this early rewrite be crap, to breathe through the panic, and to trust that I can -- and will -- get to the core and beauty of the story through revision. 

And now that you're all here watching me, I have no choice but to take my own advice and make it happen. 

So, without further ado, here is the current (but wholly revised) opening of Jack Kerouac is Dead to Me, up for your feedback. 


Does it hook you?  What works?  What doesn't? 
Looking forward to returning the favor in the comments!  
Be brave, and don't panic if it takes me an hour or three to get back to you in the comments. 
Mostly, have fun.

- gae


p.s. yes, I get nervous too!

p.p.s. do feel free to offer the feedback to other writers who have posted in the comments!!




          I move the wire hanger loop toward the butterfly’s abdomen, my thumb and forefinger pressed gently on the wings to steady it, my eyes darting to the image paused on my laptop screen.
I don’t think that I can do it. These kinds of videos always lie. They make it seem easy when it isn’t, and when you try, it never works out like the guy on screen said it would. It seems impossible that pinning the butterfly down this way won’t kill it. Then again, it’s as good as dead with this break in its wing, so it’s either this or do nothing and watch it struggle and die. I press play again. The video starts up and the man races through the instructions matter-of-factly, like it’s no big deal. Like he’s explaining how to fix a flat tire. “. . . now that you have it immobilized . . . use your toothpick to dab a dot of glue over the break site. . .” I take a deep breath and hold it, press the loop down, fighting the inclination to close my eyes. Poor little butterfly. Its wings pulse futiley – once, twice against the restraint like a heartbeat – before settling. “. . . glue over the surface of the cardboard splint . . . dry a minute or two to set. Now, using your tweezer, and making sure the wing is lined up perfectly, carefully place your cardstock splint over the fractured area . . . no ability to redo, so take your time. . . dusting powder gently over the wing to counteract excess glue.”My hands shake ridiculously, and I want to pause the video again but can’t, so I plow forward. Besides, I’ve watched it three or four times now. I know all the steps. So why don’t I trust myself?“. . . When, the glue is dry, grab the butterfly up gently and remove him from the cloth surface. He may even be stuck. . . release him free. He’s good to go. . . Cheers!”Yeah, right. I haven’t even dabbed the glue.I take another breath, hold it, get the glue on the wing and the tiny rectangular splint, exhale, and blow gently over the spot a few times, giving it time to dry, then place the tiny splint down over the split in the wing. I dust that with powder using a q-tip, say a prayer, and lift the wire loop from its body.The butterfly just lies there. I should know better than to try to fix anything.
***

Where I've Been

Thanks to Carol Moore of the Water-Blog for the photo.
So, yeah, I've been a tiny bit MIA from my blog(s) here. Apologies.


Here are just a few of the reasons why:


I am STRUGGLING with revisions on my possible next YA. Yes, in all caps and an angry red font;
I have had a few medical weirdo things happen which have kept me running to doctors, including an allergic reaction to Cipro that covered my body scalp to toe in itchy rashy red hives, and, you know, the other part where I thought I was having a *coughs* heart attack (but thank goodness wasn't);
It is the end of the school year which is a notoriously busy time for my (all) kids and I have been running them places, helping them with final papers, getting son one set for college (?!?!) and driving son two to and from friends', golf, etc.


I have been trying to devote myself to some anti-bullying work which feels important and right to me, but has taken up a decent chunk of my free time. Most of it I have done through participating as a mentor/support on this amazing Stand for the Silent facebook page started by the incredible whirlwind of a man named Kirk Smalley whose son killed himself at age 11 after being bullied insufferably for too long. 
I have been dealing with the next phases of my next YA, THE SUMMER OF LETTING GO, including obtaining clearances, copy edits and early marketing stuff (author photos, Q&A, author essay, etc.) and, YES, I've seen a sneak peek at a possible cover! EXCITING!!!and, last but not least. . .



THE OPEN WATER SEASON has started with a bang, or at least with some rocking and rolling water conditions. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151944021590299&set=vb.128827940504281&type=2&theater
So, there you have it. Ima busy. But, any day now, I'll be back here with a vengeance, since Teachers Write! is about to start and I'm bringing back Friday Feedback, so stay tuned!

xox gae
p.s. this is a pretty extraordinary review of THE PULL OF GRAVITY by a librarian now working in Hong Kong. If this Top 15 list doesn't make you want to read my book if you haven't, I don't know what will.

Second Anniversary Celebration: Cupcakes or . . . Cooties - Edited to Announce winner

(*this post has been edited to add drawing winner video at bottom...*)

So, for those celebrating with me all along. . .

today is it! 
The Second Anniversary of the day 





THE PULL OF GRAVITY came out!

Hardcover, computer and me
*tosses confetti!*
But, um, instead of celebrating with cupcakes and a winner for the drawing, I am, um, going to the doctor to find out what kind of cooties I have. 
Yesterday, I developed some kind of weird rash all over and puffy eyes that I think may be Dengue Fever.
Would you believe Valley Fever?
Whatevs. I have some weird shit going on and I need to sort it out.
Once I do, I will be back with a drawing for a signed ARC of THE SUMMER OF LETTING GO.
Until then, tell one friend about THE PULL OF GRAVITY. Better yet, tell two friends.
More soon!
- gae
p.s. and the winner of a signed ARC is . . .

Day Last, Second Anniversary Celebration

upside down me.
So this is it. The last day of my hmmtyeth days of celebrating my first two years in print.

Two years ago tomorrow, THE PULL OF GRAVITY was released.

Mary Engelbreit once said, "Time flies whether you are having fun or not."

Though this writing/publishing gig is certainly hard, and can be a heartbreaker at times, I am having fun. I really am living one of my dreams.

Of course, another dream is to return to Italy (where I honeymooned), cruise around Cinque Terre

i once cruised around this on a glorious day...
and then stay in the Hotel San Pietro in Positano (which I still cannot afford).

The hotel is down there in that rock.
But, I digress.

These past two years have really been a dream come true.

me, two years ago, on May 10, 2011
at the famous Strand bookstore NYC
(my book is above my head),I truly treasure every reader, every reviewer, every blogger, every librarian, and especially every teacher who has thought highly enough of my book and story to bring it into their classroom.

And I'm grateful for the people who helped bring the book to life, from the extraordinary Frances Foster and Susan Dobinick, to the copy editors and cover artists, to Becky Terhune on the hardcover, to Lauren Burniac and graphic artist Ashley Halsey who helped bring that eye-poppy paperback cover to shelves!

And to my pal, Rick Kopstein who, for the price of a diner meal, always makes me look good in my author photos, not always the easiest feat.

I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my grateful heart.

- gae

p.s. tomorrow, I will draw a random name from the comments to this series using a highly scientific method and will send someone a signed Advance Review Copy of The Summer of Letting Go when they're available in October. So, today is the last day to comment and enter. US residents only. So sorry. But shipping is prohibitive. :)

xox

Day almost there, Second Anniversary Highlights

The Teen home page on Amazon last night
pointed out to me by the blogger who runs PEACE LOVE TEEN FICTION
(I love and adore her!) Just a few more days celebrating the second anniversary of The Pull of Gravity. On May 10, I'll randomly draw a name from the comments to these posts and that person will win a signed ARC of The Summer of Letting Go in October.

So, the best part about being published?

It's the people, baby. It's the connections.

For starters, the YA community is incredibly supportive. I've made some truly lifelong friends. They are talented, driven, and hard working. They are funny, silly and full of life.

me with Cat Patrick at TBF last year. Her new book
The Originals came out yesterday.
Yeah, I may have doctored the photo a little.

me with Geoff Herbach, whose third and final in the
Stupid Fast series came out yesterday, I'm With Stupid.
No, I didn't doctor this one at all. Really.

And, the teen readers are so much fun to engage with and so full of enthusiasm for what we do.



It's the Skypes and the school visits and the library book clubs.

From Advance review copy to paperback, hardcover in between.

It's not the books. They're just the beginning.

It's the people, baby.

xox gae

Day Next, Second Anniversary Highlights - Pie-in-the-Sky Movie Stuff

This is my book.

I remember when I saw the hardbound cover for the first time, I thought:

Wow, it looks like a movie poster.

(Of course, I also thought, Why is Justin Bieber on my book cover? And, Why does "Nick" have braces?!? And, Why isn't there a troll doll on my book cover?!? but those thoughts aren't important right now. . .)

Little did I dream at that time that someone would ask me for movie rights to my little story. But, alas, they did. They have. They are. Working on a movie, that is.

I've not talked much about it here or there or anywhere, mostly because anyone who has ever been through a book-to-movie deal knows that it is VERY pie-in-the-sky to get from option to actual film. A LOT has to happen to get there. And it could take years.

Still, it is one of the coolest things to ever happen to me and I have faith in the guys who are working hard to make it happen. They love my little book and are trying to stay close to the original story while giving it big-screen appeal.

The first page.

We shall see. We shall see. . .

But, yes indeed, a highlight!!