Pamela Capone's Blog, page 7

Near Death: Take Away

Near Death:  Take Away   The night preceding the morning I got the phone call that the “end” might be approaching for my dad (we have had other false alarms), John and I just happened to go see the film, “After Death.” Within five minutes of walking through the door at home, returning from the ... Read more

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Hipsters Didn’t Make Beanies Cool

Hipsters Didn’t Make Beanies Cool   Hipsters didn’t make knit beanies cool, my dad did. Even in the sweltering Central Valley summer heat, as long as I can remember, he wore a beanie. I never thought it was odd. His ensemble of choice was his beanie, white T-shirt, torn blue jeans, and work boots. Yesterday ... Read more

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The Wide Open

The Wide Open   I’m getting more and more familiar with riding on Portland’s bikeways—bustling urban streets, whoop-de-do hilly neighborhoods, gravel-sand-dirt-mud, and smooth-ish, paved “protected” bike paths. My eyes are filled with acute angles and vibrant, pulsing juxtapositions. Life as it is. Picturesque rivers and breathtaking, rushing creeks and heartbreaking encampments. My eyes are filled ... Read more

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Walking With a Limp

Walking With a Limp I missed church this past Sunday and so I listened to the message online yesterday. A day late and right on time. The subject matter covered a very question I have had on my mental notepad—something I’ve been meaning to ask my pastor about: wrestling/struggling with God and specifically why God ... Read more

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Feelings Nothing More Than Feelings

Feelings Nothing More Than Feelings   Even at this tender ripe age of welloverforty, I still have to relearn the same lessons learned long ago: things I well know but sometimes don’t operate as though I well know and rather operate like an emotional almost-kindergartener. We were at Defy (AKA Sky Zone), an indoor trampoline ... Read more

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Lovely Day

Lovely Day     I have a feeling this is going to be a long post but sometimes miracles are time-consuming. I ended my last Facebook post yesterday with: “The only attention I’m seeking is the kind that believes in asking for miracles. So if you’ve got that kind, we’re a great match.” Turns out ... Read more

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Occam’s Razor

Occam’s Razor   Having someone bear witness to my loss and broken heart is the best comfort. Simple acknowledgment is everything. It’s okay to say his name. I’m guessing that overthinking—not bad intentions—is sometimes the culprit. Bearing witness is less complicated and better than someone bright-siding it or any one of a myriad of grief-fixing ... Read more

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Fancy Footwork in a Space of Light

Fancy Footwork in a Space of Light     I feel like a different person. It’s as if I’ve stepped into a new body. I know I will never be the same. Being alive is hard lately. People often ask me if I’m doing better yet and I’m certain I disappoint them. I place a ... Read more

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Still

Still   Over and over again, I would run my finger along the strip right above his eyebrows across his forehead. And he would close his eyes. He’d always settle in. He’d become absolutely motionless. As a newborn, as a toddler—a young boy, a teen, a man. Countless times. I ran my fingers through that ... Read more

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Slay

Slay   In our current slang, when people say “You slay,” they mean it as a compliment. That’s not the way I used it on December 24th when I announced on social media that my son Joey was hit by a car and killed. I included Job’s words: “Though he slay me, yet I will ... Read more

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