Dustin Reade's Blog, page 2
July 10, 2011
my story "The Hollow" will be featured in this...
my story "The Hollow" will be featured in this anthology. Brought to you by Living Dead Press.
Max Ernst, foot tickle
Max Ernst, foot tickle
My Grandfather's Funeral
Recently, I attended the funeral of my Grandfather. Lymphoma. Stage four. It was an easy passing. Did it in his sleep like a pro. I hope to go half as easy.
At the funeral, when they opened the casket, I began crying. It was awful. The sight of my Grandfather miraculously cured of the stress that age provided was a bit too much for me to handle. He looked good. Embalmed. He looked dead because he almost didn't look dead at all.
After a long jag of crying, I found all I could do was stare at my hands. After a while, my hands began to feel awkward. Probably because I was staring at them. I wanted something to drink but I couldn't stop staring at my hands. My left hand flipped me the bird. I guess it was pretty rude of me to be staring so hard. After all, my hands had just lost their grandfather.
That hit me. That made it real. My hands had lost someone very important to them. As I scanned my body, trying not to stare any longer, just to see, I realized that it wasn't just my Hands that had lost someone. My gut had lost someone too. And my legs. My forehead. They were all in mourning. They had to be. They were at a funeral. I looked up from my body to the body in the casket.
There was a tall man pulling the lid down on it. My Grandfather slowly disappeared beneath the lid, sealing the rest of us out. I knew this was goodbye.
"Goodbye," I said.
As an atheist, I did not believe we would meet again. Despite what the preacher had said about my Grandfather in a mansion, hanging out with joyful angels. It was a pretty picture, and more than anything I wanted to believe along with the rest of my sobbing family members. But. Well. I just couldn't. As much as I wished I could, I just could not imagine any of it to be true. This was it. This was the last time I would ever see my Grandfather, and I had spent the majority of that time staring at my hands.
I looked down at them once again and saw they were crying. One of them was being held lovingly in the hand of my Grandmother. She leaned over and said, "It's going to be alright, Dustin."
That was when I realized that I was in mourning too.
those who found themselves on the slide were happiest.
those who found themselves on the slide were happiest.
July 5, 2011
June 30, 2011
his t-rex arms hindered his one chance at stardom.
his t-rex arms hindered his one chance at stardom.
June 29, 2011
SEXUAL ORGANS: A USER'S GUIDE
DIRECTIONS: Hold SEXUAL ORGANS upright, pull trigger back and spray the air in a sweeping motion until entire area is covered. For noticeably fresh SEXUAL ORGANS, spray all the rooms in your home.
INGREDIENTS: Odor eliminator, water, fragrance, nonflammable natural repellant, embalming fluid, quality control ingredients. SEXUAL ORGANS Contain no Phosphates.
CAUTION: USE ONLY AS DIRECTED. Intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling the contents can be harmful or fatal. Help stop SEXUAL ORGAN abuse. Some surfaces may become damp when sprayed. Avoid slips or falls.
KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN. Do not point at face. If eye contact occurs, rinse well with water. If irritation persists, get medical attention. Do not expose SEXUAL ORGANS to heat or open flame, or store at temperatures above 120̊ F. Dispose of properly. Do not puncture or incinerate organs.
Hitler-skin rug? Yes. Yes, I think so.
Hitler-skin rug? Yes. Yes, I think so.
