Colleen Wait's Blog: Hello readers!, page 9

My Korean adventure, part one. Fear.

I vividly remember the first time.  I was 6 or 7 years old when my mom was invited by a family friend to fly in his airplane.   It was a small 4-seater, maybe a  Cessna.  What I remember most was that I had just eaten a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich washed down with a grape Shasta soda.  Why do I remember what I ate before the plane ride?  Because it ended up on my lap after the pilot banked to the left then right.  Flying was ruined.  It would never be enjoyable.

While in college, my sister and I drove to Chicago.  On the way home the car broke down and we had to fly back.  Remembering my earlier experience, I did not eat before the flight.  Good thing, too, because I had to fly in one of those teeny tiny, cram-packed 50-seat planes from St.Louis, Missouri to Dallas, Texas.  I did okay until the landing.  As soon as the plane began its descent, my pulse began to race, I began to sweat, my stomach churned, and dry heaves commenced.  The poor man sitting next to me wanted to get far away.  Luckily for him, my stomach was empty.

During the 2-hour layover in Dallas I broke down and ate.  Big mistake.  Once again, upon descent, my stomach gave up its contents.  Soon after, I discovered over-the-counter motion sickness remedies.  On subsequent flights over the years, this helped with the vomiting, but not with the emotions that lingered.  I now had a full-fledge fear, disdain, anxiety with the mere mention of airplane, airports, flying.  All those movies about crashes and the real ones on the news did not help the matter.

After a move to New York, the anxiety increased to include crowds.  Well, it had been there for a while but the move made it worse.   You see, I'm short.  Put a short person in a crowd and it feels like an ant in the middle of a herd of elephants.  Shopping malls, concerts, and theme parks make me very anxious and I have had a few panic attacks.  I'm always in search of the nearest exit.

So, while in New York, I accidentally stumbled upon a gay pride parade on Halloween.  It was not fun.      Caught in the crowd, I could not get to the subway station which was less than a block away.  The mass of people swayed back and forth and I was caught up in it like a toy boat in the ocean, or as if I was caught in a rip current.  Fighting the crowd, after two hours, I made it to the subway.   My crowd anxiety/phobia was fully in place.

Prayer, deep breathing, arriving early, scoping out the exits, drugs...don't help all that much.

So why, do you ask, am I going to Korea!?

Stay tuned.

Why do you give? Or do you?

I was asked last week to do a few interviews with people who are giving/donating/volunteering at a local ministry.  My belief has always been, "But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."  Matthew 6:3-4.  

One person in particularly absolutely wanted to remain anonymous, which prompted me to go in an entirely different direction with the article.  I did what all good reporters do. I Googled 'giving'.  I lost count of all the posts after page two.  Well, I had to do the article anyway because I am not one to give up.  God led me to take a different approach.  Ask people what and why and see what answers you get.   Here are a few questions.  Please answer honestly and either reply to this post or send your reply to:   AssuranceSoF@yahoo.com
Names will not be used.  

1. Why do you give (to charities, etc.)
2. Do you give anonymously? Why or why not?
3. What is your opinion on stories showcasing individuals or companies who make large donations to charities?
4.  Agree or disagree:  Giving is a spiritual act of worship.
5.  Are you more or less motivated to give when you read about others and their experience with giving?

ASSURANCE E-MAGAZINE

Assurance magazine is e-zine for Christian writers designed to not only showcase their short stories and books but also to reach the lost, strengthen those who are hurting, and demonstrate how God's people are at work.  Here's a mock up of the first cover:  
Assurance e-zine will have these basic segments:  Feature story on a Christ-based/centered organization, a bible study, 2 maybe more short stories, a human interest interview, an article written by young person age 10-18, possibly younger, an occasional photo essay, and advertisement for authors.  The editorial calendar tentatively will include:  Celebrate recovery, adoption, keeping Christ in Christmas, Missions, and homelessness.
The submission process is now open for all writers who fit these above genre. 
Guidelines are as follows:Short stories: 1500 words or less.  May include one photograph.  You, the author, must hold legal copyright to the writing submitted.  You give permission to the editor of this magazine to edit and publish.  Content must be approved by the publisher (The story must have some faith aspect, pointing to God either directly or indirectly.  It does not have to be “squeaky clean”.  No profanity, erotic love scenes, excessive violence, zombies, or vampires.  The story will be proofread and edited. It can be based on personal experience or fantasy, for children, teens, or adults.  It can have people or animals as the characters.)
Feature articles: 2500 words or less.  May include photograph(s).  Organization must be faith-based, use Biblical principles, serve God's people. Personal interview preferably of someone unknown. The woman who cleans your building and no one knows about, the man who mows the yards of the elderly, the family who serves the homeless every week-end, the retired person who teaches Bible/English/cooking/math, etc. to the underprivileged, homeless, or perhaps the young person who spends their free time working at a homeless shelter, retirement home, or has started a Bible study at school or home.  This section is for the unsung hero doing God's work.  
Bible study: 1000 words. To be written by a current or retired minister, pastor's wife, or Sunday School teacher. It must be Biblically based.   Facts and doctrine will be checked. 
Photo essay: Tell a story of how God works through pictures.
Youth Submission: Must be written by persons 18 years or younger.  Include a short bio and photograph (state whether or not it may be used).  Same requirements as adult short stories. May include photos or drawings.  
Submission must be in Word document format .doc or .docx, photographs in .jpeg format.  There is no charge for submission.  Please include a link where your full-length books can be purchased, if applicable.  
ADS: (for a limited time) 3 X 3 Ad $5.00 per issue6 x 6  Ad $5.00 per issue  guideline:  Submit a word document, .doc or .docx that includes embedded .jpeg or text only. Submit ad for approval to freedspirit05@yahoo.com.  Ads must fit magazine format.  Acceptance is per publisher discretion.  
purchase ad here(PayPal steps: Create an account, go to send money, in the ‘To:’ section type in freedspirit05@me.com, select ‘services’, ‘USD’, enter the correct dollar amount.)
SUBSCRIBE TO 'ASSURANCE' HERE. Click on the Assurance tab on the right.  First issue is slated for mid August to early September.    
   

Running with armor

In the heat of mid summer, the best time to run is predawn.  The moon is high, the stars are just beginning to fade, and I hear the crickets chirping on this particularly warm morning when I step out of my car.  Keeping safety in mind on this run in the dark through the wooded trail, I loosely hang my headphones around my neck.  Music will have to wait for the sun.  Besides, I like the peace and quiet as I make my way through the stillness of the moon-lit running trail with only the sounds of my footsteps and my prayers for company.  On long runs like this one, I always start with prayer.  It keeps me focused not only on God but also on my surroundings.  

Rounding the corner behind the golf course and into a clearing at mile 5, I reach for my phone which I keep zipped up in my fuel belt.  Music time.  Something in the distance catches my eye.  Something isn't right.  I pick up speed.  Two people are struggling in the cemetery.

"God, help," I pray.

I dial 911, replace my phone sideways in my fuel belt, bend down and scoop up several large rocks from the side of the trail.  

"Let her go!" I scream while sprinting forward.  "What are you doing in the cemetery?" I ask for the 911 operator's benefit. "The cars on the toll road can see you."

A large man dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt is dragging a woman in her pajamas through the grass towards a coffin storage shed.  He has something, a weapon perhaps, in his left hand. 

"Be true," I pray out loud then hurl a rock towards them.

The man, seconds later, jerks his head up to face me.  He mutters profanities while the woman continues to kick and scream.  He touches the side of his head with his hand then covers the woman's mouth and keeps dragging her.

Still running in their direction, I hurl another rock with the same prayer, "Be true."

This time, the rock causes the man to stop and drop the woman. 

"Let her go!" I order, still running, now within yards of them.  

The man kicks the still form laying in the grass, turns and takes off running down the trail. I make the snap decision to leave the woman and focus on the man. 

"Stop and give up!" I yell.

The man shouts obscenities at me while aiming for the woods.  He tosses the weapon into a bush and keeps running.

"You may as well give up now," I tell him.  I'm only several yards behind now.  "I'm a marathon running, a black belt, and a Christian.  I'm dressed in the full armor of the Lord and with wings like eagles."

The man snaps his head around and looks at me like I'm crazy, trips, then falls flat on his face.  Less than a second later, I jump on his back, grab my headphones with my left hand, his right arm with my right hand.  Before he has a chance to react, his hands are tied securely.  All my self-defense training comes flooding back to me.  With his belt in one hand I grab his pinky with the other and bend it backwards. 

"Stand up," I order.

"What the hell?" the man mumbles.  "You broke my nose."  He then lets loose another string of expletives while trying to struggle free.  

"Stand up and walk back to the woman you left in the cemetery off the running trail."

Still struggling, but in tremendous pain, the man stands up.  Compared to me, he's a giant.  Pinky firmly in hand and as much pressure on it as I can, I push the man towards the woman.    When we reach her, she is still laying in the grass in the fetal position with her face hidden in the grass.

"Down on your face," I order the man.  I give him a push so falls prone, face down in the grass next to her.   "Miss, are you all right?"  I gently roll her onto her back.  "Are you hurt?"  

The answer is obvious.  Her neck is red and there is a gash on her tear-stained cheek.   

"I'm okay," she whispers. "Now."

"What is your name?"

"Nancy.  Nancy Murray."

"Nancy Murray," I repeat in a louder voice.  "Where do you live?"

"Over there," she says, motioning to the neighborhood behind the cemetery.

"Behind the cemetery next to the toll road," I repeat.  "Did he rape you?"

"No," she said in a hushed voice, "but he was going to."

Sounds from above made us all stop and look up.

"Cops!" the man says in between more expletives.   He struggles to try to get free but I reach back and grab his pinky again.  "I swear I'll kill you both!" he yells, subdued by the pain in his hand.  

"Where did you come from?" says the woman who begins to sob.   She rolls over and places her head on my knee as the sounds of sirens grow louder.  

"You're safe now," I say to the woman while a flurry of activity begins all around us.

Two policemen, with guns drawn rush towards the man. I let go of his pinky. They latch onto  the man and drag him to his feet.  The man snaps his head around and looks at me with wild confusion in his eyes.

"You're crazy!  Possessed!!" he yells as he is drug away.

I simply nod and smile.  Yes, possessed by the Holy Spirit and proud of it, I think to myself while I stand up and back away from the woman who is being tended to by the police and EMS.  "He threw a weapon, a knife I think, into the bushes over there," I say to a policeman who is walking towards me.  He turns and motions for another officer to join him in the search.  I back slowly away, hang up the phone, view the scene for a moment, then I resume my run and my running prayer with, "Thank you Lord for being my hero."   

Dreams

I'm a dreamer, always have been. I dream to explore the possibilities, to escape reality, to expand on things I've read. My mind tends to wander when I'm bored, stressed, when I'm thinking hard to solve problems.  Many of my dreams have become books. 

Many fellow writers have the same experience, turning dreams into print.  I'm not alone out there in fantasyland, dreaming up fairy tales and people we'd like to be, make believe, fiction, writing the impossible and making it possible.  

Why dreams? Were they created for a purpose? A higher purpose? Often when I think on complex issues I turn to the Bible for answers.  I wondered just how many people did God speak to in dreams either directly with words or with visions?  

Abimelek, Jacob, Joseph, the cupbearer and baker, Pharaoh (Genesis 41), a man (Judges 7), Solomon, and Nebuchadnezzar, Daniel. God spoke to Moses, Aaron, Miriam, Job, and others but not in a dream. 

Are all dreams from God? Obviously not.  In Numbers 12:6 God says, "When there is a prophet among you, I, the Lord, reveal myself to them in visions, I speak to them in dreams."

But, we are warned to be on guard against those who make claims.  " “I have heard what the prophets say who prophesy lies in my name. They say, ‘I had a dream! I had a dream!’ 26 How long will this continue in the hearts of these lying prophets, who prophesy the delusions of their own minds?27 They think the dreams they tell one another will make my people forget my name, just as their ancestors forgot my name through Baal worship. 28 Let the prophet who has a dream recount the dream, but let the one who has my word speak it faithfully."

I believe God still speaks to us.  He impresses upon our hearts his desires, his will.  It is our "conscience".  If we are still, quiet, and obedient we can hear his voice.  It may not be as clear as it was in the Old Testament, but He is alive and well and active in this world.  These days, I still dream, daydream, wonder and while I do I try to steer it in God's direction. The characters in my books usually manage to drift towards God, seeking his face.  Often purposefully, sometimes not. 

This is a bit of meandering post, I think because my mind still wonders and wanders, searching God.  I know Him and He knows me and I know He knows me because I search for him....in my dreams and in my reality.  

Next I will share two dreams that I had recently that intertwined.   Share your dreams with me.

3 books, 3 days

Free book week-end!
June 14, 15, 16
only at Amazon.com

The "near misses"

The "near misses".  

I've had a lot of near misses.  No, I've not had serious injury, illness, cancer, been maimed or hospitalized for long periods of time.  I applaud the heroes who have done so and do not in anyway diminish what these brave souls have been through.  I'm talking about the miss is as good as a mile, should have, could have, what if, and only by the grace of God did I come out of that unscathed.  

I believe God has been by my side my whole life, letting me get just close enough to the fire, just close enough.  He always, for whatever reason, has pulled me back just in the nick of time.  Why? Maybe to pass on my story, maybe to show me who He is.  Maybe to give me something to write about.  No, it's to show me His grace and mercy because on many occasions I didn't deserve to get pulled out.


Here is my list, in order, that I remember:


1.  At age three I was riding on the back of my mothers bicycle. My right foot got caught in the spokes and cut my ankle right above the (?) bone at the large vein.   I can still remember, 45 years later, sitting on a sink counter with my foot in a pool of blood. What if we had not been right in front of a friends house? I remember the ER, the shots, and the stitches. I still have a scar.  2. When I was 15 I was stung under my right eye by a wasp. The ER doctored said never get stung again, could be allergic next time. (See next time)3.  The day before 9th grade I was riding my horse bare back and barefoot for the hundredth time.  In the road.  She slipped on a rock and fell.  On me. I have a scar where a rock was embedded in my left foot.  Did not hit my head.  Did not get hit by a car. 4.  The coat hanger abortion.  Didn't do it. Went to an unknown doctor even knowing the horror stories.  But at 16 who listens.  I have birthed two babies by C-section. Because of that? Probably.  5. After bad split from boyfriend in #4 my mom thought I should get away.  I went to New Braunsfuls with kids of friends of hers.  I didn't know them. We went tubing on a hot summers day.  I got drunk, passed out, threw up, awoke sometime later on a guys lap on his tube, still in the river? Why didn't I drown?  I was dehydrated, sunburned, probably sun poisoned.  Booze, water, sun,,, many don't live through that.  6,7, 8,9.   Jail. Not me in it, getting someone out.   Houston, NY, 33rd street.  Not a safe place for a petite white girl in the middle of the night with cash in her pocket.  I hear of murder and rape in these situations all the time.  I come out with emotional scars and nightmares.  10.  Traffic lights.  On my way home one night on a rural road I take my foot off the gas at a  green light.  In a split second I think it's green, go, then a large white van blows through the red.  It happened in two seconds.  By the grace of God.  12.  Out-patient hospital procedure. It was supposed to take an hour.  I was supposed to wake up minutes later and go home.  I couldn't wake up.  When I did, I threw up and went back to sleep. That happened several times.  About four hours later I finally woke up and was sent home.  Over medicated? Reaction to the drugs? Don't know.  Alive - yes. 13. Esophageal spasms.  I didn't know that's what they were until I had tests.  I would, and still occasionally do, spontaneously choke on saliva or liquids.  Usually when I am home alone.  Breathing stops, heart stops briefly, coughing and gagging follow to try to clear the passage.  I'm thinking I'm going to pass out one day and die.  I've learned to keep my phone nearby and how to keep calm.  14.  The garage door spring broke and came crashing down seconds before walking under it. 

15.  Continuation of #2.  The wasp sting from previous blog post.  Yes I was scared. Of the pain. Not of dying.  After all this is #15, I think.  Maybe there are more.  

          16.  There was a coral snake in the toilet in our 'new' house when I was in 3rd grade.  
           Came inches away from sitting on/over it.   Can you imagine?

There will probably be more near misses.  God got my attention long ago so He has another purpose.  I have a heightened sense of awareness, a laundry list of scenarios and how to live through each of them.  I have stories to tell people about what not to do because you may not have God holding you back like I do.  For example: don't drink, don't marry someone who does, don't have sex before marriage - purity is beautiful, no cohabitation with the opposite sex before marriage - a sure relationship killer,  never bail someone out of jail immediately and never more than once, wear shoes (I still don't I admit), wear sunscreen, wear a life jacket, look before you sit, talk to people about your problems,  trust your gut feeling and don't back down, stay calm around venomous creatures, pray - a lot, have faith, be prepared!!!  


Be prepared.  That covers a multitude from first aid to eternity.  Eternity is the end point for the physical and forever for the spirit.  Be prepared for that first and foremost.  God is leading me down a winding, bumpy, beautiful path, now matter how long he decides it is.   Let Him hold your hand like he has mine.  

Are you ready for this?
Let God's love guide the way.

Rolling with the punches... or whatever the tide brings

I'm siting at my desk pondering my weekend and the multiple family events coming up and suddenly I've got tears in my eyes.  Life is so fragile.  I've had more "near misses" than I  care to admit or innumerate.  I'm not going to lay a bunch of scripture on you, just a "think about it".  

My son leaves Korea for his new base this week.  My daughter graduates high school two weeks Friday then Sunday we are having a wedding shower for my son (the one leaving Korea) and his fiancé.  My Mom is driving over from Texas for the occasion.  In August he gets married.  My 94 yo grandmother whom I love dearly broke her hip a month ago and cannot come.   

I cannot imagine not being there for all of this.

Why did I cry?  Because of the week-end.   My husband and I went to the beach to spend time with our youngest girls and to celebrate our anniversary.  After a very nice picnic lunch I was stung by a wasp and had an immediate allergic reaction that sent me to the ER.  I was in full panic attack and full of hives, swelling, and intense pain by the time we reached the hospital.

I lived through it.  But what if I hadn't? What if I didn't have Benadryl in my purse?  Would my body look like this

instead of this?  Five hours after ER visit and massive IV infusion.

The next morning I awoke to a glorious sunrise

 and my son called me on a video chat to wish me a happy Mother's Day.  While strolling hand in hand with my amazing husband down the beach,

footprints in the sand

I was very grateful to be alive!

But...what if I wasn't?  Yes, I would miss out on all those things and so much more.  However, I know where I'm going when I die and I'm not afraid.  Abba Father, God has promised me life eternal with him where there is no fear of wasp stings, no milk allergies, no bloating sea turtles, no pain, no war only Love! For that, for a fleeting second I kinda wished I didn't have the Benadryl....trust me it was only in the moment of excruciating pain...

I love my life and all the plans gone awry, however, life on this earth is not all there is.  Thanks be to God I have Him to look forward to!

Pelican enjoying the morning
me and foreshadow of things to come

Newsflash!

Local Christian Writer Releases 10th Book

            A local woman from Apopka, Colleen Wait, is set to release her tenth book, Jacob’s Well , in May.  Wait is a Christian-Inspirational writer, blogger and free-lance editor, and has been publishing her full-length books through Create Space and Amazon Kindle for about five years.             While cranking out two books a year may not seem like a big deal to the average Joe, it definitely stands out when you realize these books came about in the midst of a chaotic full-time schedule of medical transcription and raising two children of her own, plus two “bonus” daughters with husband, Mark.  Add the many hours of volunteer service to youth and the homeless at the West Orange Church of Christ, in Winter Garden, and ten books is definitely a big deal. “Big,” however, is not a word anyone would use to describe first impressions of Wait.            One of the first things you notice about Colleen Wait is her stature.  Wait is tiny, as in vertically challenged, standing at barely five feet.  She’s also lean, as in marathon distance runner lean.   As a matter of fact, if all you ever knew about Colleen Wait is her dogged determination to master the 26.2 miles of a grueling marathon you’d walk away impressed.  But that determination has been brewing for decades, and was borne out of an even more remarkable towering faith.  And once you know the height of her faith, Wait stands taller than anyone in the room.            Writing has been an outlet for this naturally shy woman since her challenging childhood.  The result was an avenue for creative expression, as well as a coping mechanism for her hardships.  Those hardships are the foundation on which she built the soaring faith that is the source of all her stories.             In Jacob’s Well, Wait tells the story of Analeigh Kendrick, a teenage girl who is led by her faith in God to sow goodness in the midst of bad circumstances.  It is a story of planting seeds, both agricultural and spiritual, in the face of hardship and opposition.  Wait says she hopes readers will walk away with a sense of hope, and will be encouraged to pursue their own opportunities to share goodness in challenging times.             Wait is a genuinely reserved person who says she wishes she could be more like the main character in Jacob’s Well.              “I’m not outgoing or outspoken.  I get knots in my stomach when talking to people [I don’t know well].  I force myself, but it doesn’t come easily,” said Wait.  “I know my gift is in the written word, not the verbal.”  Now Wait uses her writing in an effort to help others who may be struggling.[Other books written by Colleen Wait are:  Freedom Race, Captured, Lessons Learned at Summer Camp, Sanctuary, Remnant, Man in the Mirror, Love on the Run, Mount Mission, and Black Purple Sky.  All are available through Amazon.com and Create Space. You can follow the author on: colleenwaitwrites.blogspot.com ]

             -Laura Ann Day
****  Jacob's Well will be free on Amazon 5/10/2013 and 5/11/2013 ****

Jacob's Well

I am thrilled to announce the release of my tenth book, Jacob's Well.   It is currently available on Amazon as a kindle and will be released in the next week as a paperback.   


"Analeigh Kendrick is given news that she soon realizes is opportunity. Eager to do God's work she turns a small town upside down when she is not intimidated by a preacher who has firm control over it and the church. She sees through him, learns what the town needs, and most importantly, relies solely on God for her every move. Analeigh plants seeds in everyone she meets giving the gift of life."