Nikki Soarde's Blog: Diary of a Sex Diva, page 4

Hedge trimming

I am a product of the current day porn culture. No...I don't sit in a darkened room, blinds drawn, scouring the Internet for images of naked men doing unspeakable things to each other. Well...okay...I HAVE done that, but for research purposes only. Really! Ahem...At any rate,  I don't do it on a regular basis. But that is beside the point.

When I say I'm a product of the present day porn culture, I am referring strictly to today's standards of grooming. And today's standards of grooming are, i...

It's all about geOh-graphy

Men fake orgasms? Huh? Really? If that's the case, then the next logical question is...with whom? Obviously not with women--or men for that matter--who are big into empirical evidence.

But yes...this is just one of the juicy little tidbits of information that caught my eye from this survey, based on info from Dr. Phil and the Kinsey Institute: The Female Orgasm: By the numbers. (Just scroll down a bit to see the majority of survey results.)

A number of things jumped out at me from this survey....

Feelin' sexy

As I write this I am sitting in a vinyl and chrome chair staring at my goofy-lookin' self in the salon mirror. I look a little--who am I kidding--a LOT like a character from "Signs" who is hoping to receive communication from the aliens through the elaboorate array of tin foil on my head. Or is it BLOCK communication from the aliens? Maybe I have to watch that movie again. lol

But bottom line is, I was having a lousy week. An emotionally draining week with friends who lost loved ones, and othe...

YAY CANADA!

This may have nothing to do with sex, but it has to be said.
CANADA ROCKS!!! Best Olympic moment EVER!
There. I'm done. lol

A cougar and proud of it!

So... much like the rest of North America I've been glued to the Olympics pretty steadily over the past two weeks. And, much like the rest of Canada, that has meant enduring hours upon hours of the CTV network's  endless commentaries, interviews, analyses, projections and histories of all the events. Because, God knows...THAT is what we tune in to watch, right? Argh.
So, all rantings aside, one little tidbit did jump out at me out of all that inane jibber-jabber. And that was a reference to th...

Watch out for the bum police!

No, no...I'm not talking about cops rounding up beggars and vagrants or mean old men in fingerless gloves with dogs named Bullseye. I'm talking about Bedroom Bobbies. Carnal cops. The Pussy Patrol! Or, my personal favourite, the Orifice Officers! Because that's what my rant is about, after all. It's about which orifice the state deems appropriate for penetration...as highlighted by this video of a New Hampshire State Representative sharing her thoughts on the issue:
Nancy Elliott Speaks

So...h...

So....Tiger Woods had sex...

...and he apologized for it today. Profusely and repeatedly...without inflection or emotion...to the point that I found myself falling into a trance as my mind wandered to visions of proud poles and pristine balls set against a backdrop of lush foliage.

But all personal grooming issues aside....the whole thing leaves me wondering yet again...WHY? Not so much why did he do it. As why do we care? So, another powerful, rich, reasonably attractive man has slept around. Was this really a news flash...

Innuendo. Immature? Or the great unifier?

Part of my job in the hospital blood bank where I work part time is to issue or "sign out" blood and blood products that we have prepared for specific patients. One of the most important part of this process is identification--or making absolutely sure that the right unit of blood is issued to the right corresponding patient. Hence when a unit of blood is sent on its way there is a rigorous process of checks and double-checks that must be followed, and then both the tech (myself) and the port...

A Valentine card for my hunny...

Yes...it's Valentine's Day. That Hallmark day of roses, chocolates, long lingering looks, sexy lingerie and overpriced cards. But for as much as I roll my eyes at the obvious commercial motivations behind this rather...contrived holiday, I can't deny that taking a special day out of the year to show your special someone...or someones...how much you appreciate them is a good thing! Most of us take each other for granted far too much, and heck...any excuse to go out for a nice dinner and eat ch...

The areola aversion

Do you ever wonder why we have such an aversion to the areola? Only the female version, however. The male version, although it is for all intents and purposes, physiologically identical to the female version is completely acceptable. Matthew McConaghey flaunts his nipples with relish. (Actually I'd prefer his with ketchup). And when Gerard Butler (hold on while I get a napkin for the drool) whips'em out it's just good, sexy cinema. But for some reason the moment that little section of slightl...