Bruce Blake's Blog, page 19

Getting Ready…

Wow, there's lots to do to get ready to run a free promo for my novel, "On Unfaithful Wings". Last blog, I let everyone know what they could do to help me, now I thought I'd let you guys know what I've been doing so you don't think I've been leaving it all up to you.

First, I re-did the cover of the novel. It's the same picture, but I changed the font and colours so it's easier to read in thumbnail form. I'm not 100% satisfied with the final result, but it's better and will have to do until after the promo is done. I also uploaded a new version of the novel itself. For those of you who might already have a copy — don't panic. The novel hasn't changed, I just deleted the free story that had been included ("Yardwork") and inserted the first chapter of the next Icarus book (it's got a title now: "All Who Wander Are Lost") as well as the first chapter of my epic fantasy, "Blood of the King". I'm hoping to have both novels published by the end of the summer.

Secondly, I've been sending notices to sites that specialize in listing free or cheap Kindle books. I've found fourteen so far (actually sixteen, but two of them needed more notice than I could give). There's no guarantee any of them will list my book, but it is very beneficial if they do (one I know has 10000 twitter followers). I will include a list of links at the end of the blog for any of my author friends who might find themselves in my position.

Next, I've tried to be active on Twitter and Facebook, posting, re-tweeting, commenting, liking, helping others promote their work (us authors have to stick together and help each other out). I've also been involved in Kindle Boards (the forum for Kindle authors and readers). Now, to some of you, that might not sound like much work, but anyone who has ever done any promotion on social media (are you reading this, Goose?), you know it can absolutely eat your life.

Whew, that's lots. Done, right? Wrong.

Tomorrow will be more social media mostly. Then, on Friday, when the free promo has begun I have a list of five or so Facebook sites to promote to and another 5+ tweeps to get it out to (is that the correct terminology? Tweeps? I'm not totally up on my twitter-cabulary). All Friday, Saturday and Sunday will involve stat-watching, screen-refreshing, hand-wringing, finger-crossing, breath-holding, et al. Oh, and I'll probably throw in a few blogs along the way to keep everyone posted with how things are going.

That's it for now. As promised, find links to places I used below. And hey… don't forget to tell your friends where they can get a good read for free.

 

Bruce

Free Kindle Dude   E-Reader News Today   Freebooksy   Pixel of Ink   Kindle on the Cheap   The Frugal E-Reader   Bargain EBook Hunter   The Kindle Daily Deal   The Digital Ink Spot   Books on the Knob   Digital Book Today (scroll to the bottom)   Free EBooks Daily   Indie Books List

 

Digital Book Today also has some great tips on marketing and maximizing free days on Kindle.   Hope that helps!

How You Can Help

As some of you may already know, I will be running a promotion on Kindle this weekend giving away my urban fantasy novel, "On Unfaithful Wings", for free.  I'm here to ask for your help.

"But Bruce, why give your novel away? Aren't you losing money that way?" No. The most effective way to 'advertise' on Kindle is by having more people 'buy' your book, whether it's paid or free. Having more copies downloaded gets you added on popularity lists and makes it easier for buyers to find you. More people downloading also gets the book added to more 'also-bought' lists (whenever you go to a book's page, there is a list under it of other books people who bought this book also bought. More downlaods=more potential lists).

"So running a free promotion can add up to more sales?" Yes. Having been watching the best-sellers lists on Kindle for a few weeks now and reading extensively in the writers' cafe on the Kindle Boards (forums for writers who have published on Kindle), it is easy to see that a high ranking on the free list equates to good sales once the book goes back to a paid listing.

"Will it help you if I download the book during your promotion? When is it?" Yes, downloading my book is one of the things you can do to help. It will be running free on Kindle March 23-25.

"But what if I don't have a Kindle?" It's okay, you can still download it. Kindle gives you the option to download it to your computer or you can get a Kindle app for your mobile device. You don't even have to read it of you don't want to, just downloading it will help.

"What if I don't like to read?" You like me, don't you? Like I said, you don't have to read it.

"Is there anything else I can do to help?" I'm glad you asked. There are a few other ways you can help me make this free promo as successful as possible. If we are already friends on Facebook, keep an eye open for any updates regarding the promotion and share them. If you don't see any, go to my profile page and you can share them from there. If we're not friends of FB yet, find me and ask, I'd be happy to add you. If you follow me on twitter, please retweet any updates about the promo (I'll hashtag them all #icarus). If you are on twitter but don't follow me, please start and then follow the above instructions.  (-:

"But I don't want to spam everyone." Me neither. There will be a little bit of blatant promo, but mostly I'll be updating what I'm up to and how things are going. I'll try to keep it interesting for everyone.

"Anything else I can do?" You could share a link to this blog with anyone you know who might be willing to help.  You can cross your fingers for me from 12:01am PST on March 23 until 11:59pm on March 25. Before the 23rd, you can go to the Kindle page for "On Unfaithful Wings" and click the like button near the title, then scroll down the page and click the tick boxes for the tags (below the reviews. These are some of the things Kindle's search engine uses when people are looking for things).

Finally, if you download the book and do actually read it, you can go back and leave a brief review.

"What do I get out of this?" The knowledge that you've done a good deed. I was going offer my firstborn, but he's a buff 17 year-old, so he might put up a fight. Seriously though, if I can ever help any of you out with promo, let me know – I'm only a message away.

Thanks everyone.

Bruce

What I'm up to…

Here's the scoop for those of you who aren't authors or exposed to the world of Amazon:

When you publish an e-book for Amazon's Kindle, you have the choice to enroll it in what they call "KDP Select". This makes your book available to be borrowed through their lending "library" and gives the option to make it free to all for up to five days in a ninety day period. What's the catch, you ask? Simple: during the aforementioned three-month period, your book must be exclusive to Kindle. The question is: does the prospect of giving away free books outweigh having it available only for one platform?

This is likely a big decision for an established author who sells lots of books, but I'm not that guy (yet). Since my novel has only sold a few copies across all platforms, it seems I have nothing to lose. My short stories are available for free through Smashwords, and my most successful one has been downloaded 2653 since Sept., 2010. Not bad? There are stories of people making their novels free on Kindle and giving away tens of thousands of copies in a few days.

Does giving away a novel sound counter-productive to you? Some might think so, but the free promo seems to always add sales. When someone downloads it, whether they paid for it or got it for free, it has a chance to end up on that person's list of "also boughts". With this listing, your book can appear in a thumbnail list which accompanies other books this person has purchased, and this is what leads to sales.  It's like unintentional free advertising. The results can be astounding as my fellow Canadian writer Martin Crosbie found out (see his results in his blog).

Look for my novel "On Unfaithful Wings" to go free in a couple of weeks. I'll announce the exact dates soon.

I'll keep you all posted on how things are going.

 

Coming Soon…

It's been a while since I've gotten around to blogging, so my apologies to all. However, while I wasn't writing here, I was busy elsewhere. "On Unfaithful Wings" (formerly known as "Harvester") is now available on Kindle, Lulu and Creatspace. The second, as yet untitled Icarus Fell novel is complete and awaiting edit. The first part of an epic fantasy, "Blood of the King" is currently being edited. The second part of said epic fantasy, "Spirit of the King" is about 75% written.

Lots on the go.

The thing I'm working on most right now is getting ready to offer "On Unfaithful Wings" free for a couple of days on Kindle. A few writers have had some incredible success doing this, and I want to count myself amongst them. As the date is set and then draws closer, I'll keep everyone updated on what I'm doing through regular blogs and updates.

I promise.

 

How I Write

Once, many years ago, I took a "How to Write a Novel" course by mail through a major writing publication (the fact it was not available on the internet should suggest a number of years have passed since). The course material was good, but I had some issue with the instructor. One of the features of the course was the ability to send questions along to the instructor (a published author in your genre) when you mailed your assignments. I was curious about the rewriting and editing process and so asked my instructor what his looked like. His answer? For him and most of other published authors, their work was published the way it came out in the first draft.

I was devastated. I felt I possessed some talent for writing but also knew my first draft wasn't up to the calibre of published works. I had some serious learning and hard work ahead.

A while later, I found a book on writing by James Michener in which he went into minute detail about his writing and editing process going so far as to publish copies of his first draft in the book (sorry, the name of the book eludes me, but it had a section about writing fiction and another about writing non-fiction, if that helps). It was crap, it turned out, just like mine.

Maybe my instructor was wrong. Maybe there was something to this editing thing.

Given my last name isn't King or Patterson, I'm not sure anyone cares how I write. But still, there may be someone out there who stumbles on this blog wondering to themselves about the inner workings of a non-bestselling, barely published writer's process. It could happen. Or maybe it will help some other poor author who unfortunately ended up with the same instructor as me. So here it is, in all its glory… How I Write:

1. The idea. I can't say where they come from anymore than most writers, artists or musicians can. It's different almost every time, from reading a newspaper article to seeing a picture to just putting words down on paper to see what comes out. Probably most often I see something or read something that sparks a 'what if' moment.

2. The development. Trial and error is the best way to put it. This step is all about the what-if's, using the imagination and experimenting with ideas. A little writing might happen here, but not much. Anything beyond point-form notes most likely gets thrown out in disgust.

3. The outline. Yes, I outline, but it is not a rigid, unmovable thing. My outlines go through multiple drafts themselves, sometimes starting out only as a partial story path to be filled in and fleshed out as I write. A general idea becomes a timeline and then gets broken down into chapters and scenes, all of which are subject to change as the writing begins and progresses. On occasion, I may even know how I want things to end. Sometimes.

4. The writing. I am a linear writer. I begin at the beginning and continue straight on until I reach the end. It's very rare I stray to a future chapter or go back to one already written. I also hate skipping a chapter with the intention of going back… I never find my way around to it.

5. The sigh of relief. The completed first draft sits in the drawer (the hard drive) for at least two weeks before I look at it again. These things need time to breathe and I also want the writing elves to have the opportunity to make my writing better than it was when it first came out of my fingers. Don't laugh, more than once I've been editing and come across a passage I don't remember writing.

6. The first edit. This edit consists of hunting down the words on my list of Bruce's bad and over-used words. The list includes words indicative of passive construction (e.g.-was, were, had), wishy-washy lazy words (e.g.-barely, nearly, almost), and habitual usage words (e.g.-moment, that, still, turn). I also watch for poor-keyboarding errors that spell-check doesn't catch (form instead of from, my instead of me). This may not sound like much of an edit, but it usually isn't merely a matter of deleting the offensive words. Rewriting of sentences, sometimes entire paragraphs, is often necessary and this edit of my latest work-in-process cut over 3000 words from the manuscript.

7. The second edit. This is the full read through, the first time I've read the work as a whole. The first pass is from a high altitude, watching for continuity, character arcs, tone, etc. It's about watching for all the elements of writing which are difficult to watch for. Large scale cutting can happen in this edit.

8. Take a breath. The manuscript is put aside for a couple of weeks again to gain some distance from the read-through.

9. The third edit. This time is the close-up view of the read through. I pull out my comb (which is always difficult to find given my haircut) and start pulling every sentence, every word between its teeth. I'm editing for sentence structure and length, word choices, punctuation, the whole works. Cutting happens on a small-scale during this edit, often one word at a time, but can add up to as much as 10% of the manuscript disappearing.

10. If you love something, set it free… The novel gets released into the hands of a few trusted readers — people who know how to tell me I suck if I do but can also tell me why a passage or character works for them when it does. This group consists of 3 or 4 people but I'm always looking for more if anyone thinks they have the ability and wants to volunteer.

11. Touch up edit. I take the input from my readers, evaluate it and make changes as I see necessary. (If one reader makes a suggestion or criticism, it's up to me if I make the change or not. If two people or more make the same comments, the change is pretty much a done deal.

12 The novel goes out for a professional manuscript evaluation. I am planning on self-publishing all my work and refuse to fall into the "anyone can self-publish their crap" category. If it's going up, it's going to be the best I can offer.

13. ???  Not sure yet what happens when the manuscript comes back from evaluation, I'm currently waiting for the return of the first one I've sent off. I guess what happens next will be the subject of a future post.

By the way, I eventually found a book at the library by the fellow who was my course instructor all those years ago. It only took reading the first chapter to realize he was serious when he said his books were published they way he wrote them. Too bad for all those people who purchased his books.

What's Going on in Publishing?

These are interesting times.

A lot has been going on in the world of publishing, specifically when it comes to the e-publishing world. Here's a recap, though I can't guarantee it's chronological (or even logical, for that matter).

-Barry Eisler walks away from a half-million dollar publishing contract to self-publish electronically. Mr. Eisler has written a number of best-selling thrillers featuring assassin John Rain. A successful author making money in the traditional publishing world, when St. Martin's Press offered up the $500000 contract, Mr. Eisler decided to go it alone.

-Amanda Hocking signs a four book, $2 million deal with the same St. Martin's Press. Ms. Hocking is said to have made between $1.5 and $2 million self-publishing her paranormal YA novels on Amazon, Smashwords, etc. She reportedly chose to sign with a legacy publisher so she could concentrate on writing instead of cover design, promotion, editing, etc. No word as to how the electronic rights to the four book series are being handled, but the first book won't be available until fall of 2012, thought the deal was signed March 2011.

-J.K. Rowling finally makes her Harry Potter books available electronically. The most popular series of books ever written has never been available for download (don't believe me? Look here). In October, all that will change as "Pottermore" goes live to the world. It will be an interactive site where fans can experience the story in a new way. Oh, and the exclusive place to purchase audio and electronic versions of the book. Reports say Rowling has partnered with her publisher on the project but it seems she retains the rights.

-John Locke – the first self-published author to sell a million books - signs a traditional publishing deal with Simon & Schuster. Ok, maybe it's not exactly a traditional deal: Mr. Locke kept all electronic rights to his work. That means Simon & Schuster will publish the hard copies you'll find in bookstores (if you still have one in your neighborhood) while the author will be free to publish and sell them on Amazon, etc.

So what does all this mean? You got me, but other than Ms. Hocking's deal, it seems that electronic self-publishing continues to grow.  The number of e-readers in use grows every day while the usability and features of the units expands and the price drops. The one thing I've decided from all these happenings: I'll never send another query letter to a legacy publisher. I'll self-publish my novels and, with hard work and luck, maybe one day a publisher will come knocking on my door.

Watch for "Harvester: Icarus Fallen Book 1″ to be available by Christmas for your e-reading pleasure.

What's Happening?

I was looking back through my past few posts and noticed that, between my laziness and whining about my laptop situation, I haven't really touched on my writing or the state of publishing in a while. So the time has come.

Let's start with me. What have you been up to recently, Bruce?

Well, not writing as much as I should be, for starters. Life tends to get in the way more during the summer, and I let it this time. Between work, the kids out of school and my wife's ridiculous schedule with doing three Fringe Theatre Festivals, I've kind of let things slip a bit. I'm back on the proverbial horse now, though. I am currently editing the sequel to my urban fantasy novel "Harvester" (the sequel is as yet untitled, though I'm toying with "Redeemer" or "Saviour", something like that). As for "Harvester", I have sent it off to be professionally edited, a process which should take until around the middle of Oct. My goal is to get it back, do whatever re-writes may be necessary, and have it up and available through Kindle, Smashwords, et al, by Christmas time so everyone who gets an e-reader for Christmas can buy themselves a copy of my book.

Good thinking, hey?

If you look back through my posts, there was a time I was debating the title of the book. I have pretty much decided to go with "Harvester: Icarus Fallen Book I". (That's the Roman numeral for 1, not the letter I). It's nice to have that sorted and now means I can start thinking about cover design.

I also recently submitted two of my short stories to the Naked Girls Reading Literary Contest. I don't usually worry too much about either short stories or contests, but who can argue with the concept of Naked Girls Reading? (Plus my wife puts on the Victoria version). For any of you who are familiar with my stuff, I sent in "Wave Songs" and "Another Man's Shoes". I'd like to have sent some others, but their word limit was a bit too tight for most of my pieces.

I have also been working on the sequel to my heroic fantasy "Blood of the King" (the second book is "Spirit of the King"). I'm about 2/3 of the way through the first draft as "Blood" sits on the shelf awaiting a professional edit after "Harvester". "Spirit" will be the end of that series, I have plans for at least 3 more novels featuring Icarus and the other characters from "Harvester" and two other stand alone novels that I am absolutely aching to get to. If only we could add a few more hours to the day (or I could figure out how to be more productive with the ones I have).

And did I tell you my story "Yardwork" has been picked up by Pseudopod? They are an on-line horror zine that podcasts the stories. "Yardwork" is scheduled to be available the week of Oct. 14, so keep your eyes open for that.

So there you go: what's happening with Bruce.

As I said, there is also a lot going on in the publishing world, but I'll leave that for the next post. I promise it won't be too long.

How Not to Write a Blog

It's a good idea that, when you're writing a blog with the intent of imparting wisdom, opinion, ideas, creating a following or simply rambling in public, you actually get down to work and write the damn thing every once-in-a-while. This is an area in which I've been falling down of late — I think it's been almost a month since my last post.

Please, accept my apologies, dear faithful reader (whoever and where ever you are).

This process I've been following has made me realize there are a few key things one can do in order to not write a succesful blog, so here is my recipe for non-success:

1. Leave it until the last minute.

Why not pretend you're back in school, Bruce, and leave that homework assignment until 10pm the night before it's due? It worked in high school. You graduated, got decent marks, people understand what you're saying when words spill forth from your mouth, so that must be the choice smart people make. I think I heard Einstein was up until like four in the morning thinking up the theory of relativity the morning it was due.

2. Do it all at once.

Only lazy people would write a little bit here and a little bit there. Why take a few minutes at a time when you can save it up, do it all at once so it kills off a couple hours of otherwise productive time that you can't afford to lose, making you put it off even longer? Good thinking.

3. Don't research anything in advance.

If you do all your research as you write, you can take an hour-long job and stretch it out to several hours as you surf the internet and get distracted by every interesting article you find. Kind of like my cat chasing the sun reflecting off my watch. Meow.

4. When you do try something new and write a partial draft, make sure it's relevant only for a week or so, then don't go back to it until two weeks later and turf it because it's no longer relevant.

Self explanatory. Anyone want to read my half-written blog about June's riot in Vancouver?

5. Don't think about blogging at all unless you're doing it.

There are so many interesting things to do — watch dust collect on the surface of a glass of water, count the pennies in my dijon-mustard-jar-turned-piggie-bank, chew a hangnail, watch a documentary about snail sex. Why would I want to be distracted by advancing my writing career? Let's not be silly.

I'm sure there are multitude more ways not to write a blog I haven't yet thought of (how about writing it in a language you don't know? That might waste a lot of time). If anyone else thinks of some, let me know, I'd be more than happy to give them a try for you.

In the meantime, I'm going to attempt something crazy and do the opposite of all these things for a while. Stick with me for a bit and let me know what you think.

The Saga of the Laptop – Finale

I shut the door behind me and drag my ass down the hall, the weight of the day and the laptop case heavy on my shoulders.  Entering the living room, I let the strap slide from its perch on my shoulder, catching it so the eight-year-old computer it contains only thumps the floor lightly: I might not like the thing anymore, but I need it for a while longer. I discard the rest of my gear on the piano bench when something catches my eye, something that wasn't there last time I was home 36 hours before.

A box.

It's your average cardboard box, the size and shape of a briefcase. It even has a briefcase style handle on the top. Emblazoned across the side is a single word – Dell – with its distinctive off-set E.

"Hey, my laptop came. It wasn't supposed to be here until tomorrow."

"Yeah," the teen-age boy in the other room says between killing warlocks or zombie-warriors on the screen of the iMac. "Came yesterday."

I cross the room with more vigor and grab the handle, pick up the box and heft it. Not too heavy: good. I sit down and pull it onto my lap when I notice a piece of tape across the top and read its message: "If tape is tampered with or broken, do not sign bill of sale" (or some such thing). I'm in my forties so remember when this type of message began appearing, first on bottles of Tylenol, then spreading to other medications, food, and now my new computer. Did Dell think someone would sneak poison into my laptop? A little anthrax smeared across the keys? (the disease, not the band) Probably not, but a hazelnut of panic rises into the back of my throat nonetheless.

Maybe they thought someone would replace the nice, big left-side shift key with one of the tiny bastards everyone else uses and a slash key.

My tape is not broken, nor does it appear to have been tampered with, but thieves can be devious, we see it in movies all the time. I tear the tape away, my breathing clipped and shallow, and wrestle the box top open nearly tearing the briefcase-style handle off in the process. Beneath it is more cardboard and that white foam envelope they ship electronics in which barely seems possible it's foam. That's all I see. For all I know, there isn't really a computer in there. The hazelnut grows to peanut-size: not getting the correct shift key would be bad but not getting a computer at all would be worse.

The inside packaging hits the floor as quickly as wrapping paper on Christmas day or my wife's lingerie after she's been away performing at the Winnipeg Fringe Festival for three weeks (that one's for you, honey. See you soon.) and I dig the laptop out. The foam-velope flies over my shoulder and the new electronic contraption sits atop my lap, the silvery Dell logo winking at me from the middle of its shiny gray surface. My fingers reach out to open it, a tiny tremble in them, but I pause before I do, take a deep breath, and say my version of a prayer:

"This friggin' thing better have the proper goddamn shift button."

I throw caution and emotion to the wind and flip open the laptop's screen. My eyes go immediately to the left-hand side of the keyboard: tab, caps lock and… and…

Full size shift key.

I hammer the power button on, a smile spreading across my face, and swallow the little fearful hazelnut for good.  Eagerly, with little patience, I rush through the set up. Who cares about the time and date right now, it can be set later. Do I have to register MacAfee immediately? I think not. I agree. Yes. Cancel.

Finally I'm through the Microsoft labyrinth, click the little icon that sits where Word XP's start button used to be, and bring up the list of programs. I haven't loaded my writing software yet, but wordpad will do. It comes up, I breathe deep, crack my knuckles and begin.

ShiftShiftShiftShiftShiftShiftShift.

Capitalize. Capitalize. Capitalize. Capitalize. Capitalize.

How about some proper nouns?

Bruce Blake. Victoria, British Columbia, Canada.

Initials? You got it.

SPCA. YMCA. ICU. IOU. NBA. NHL. R2D2. OU812.

Punctuation? Sure thing!

!?>@(%)_{!} :"<?

Of course, I could just shout it out:

I AM SO HAPPY TO HAVE THE CORRECT SHIFT KEY!

It  doesn't take a lot to make me happy. I guess I'm just a simple man.

Now where the Hell did they put the delete key on this thing?

The Saga of the Laptop

The computer I use to do pretty much 100% of my writing I won through a contest at work (I love free stuff) about 8 years ago. My iPhone4 has a faster processor and more memory, but it has done me well for a long while, so I dealt with its limitations.

1. Being as old as it is, the screen is one of those old-style, almost-square liquid crystal dealies. While my daughter enjoys how the screen reacts when you touch it, it cuts off the right-hand side of websites so, when I'm doing research or relaxing a minute between chapters, I spend more time scrolling left and right than I do anything else.

2. There's something lodged under the 2 key, so it gets tempermental sometimes, a particularly annoying trait when I'm filling out forms on-line given there are four 2s in my ten digit phone number.

3. If I have more than one program or more than one website open at a time, the thing slows down to the pace of a snail crawling uphill in a stream of molasses in January (no, I'm not sure why a snail would attempt such tom-foolery).

So I finally decided to take the plunge and get a new laptop. I went to my local Future Shop (see? I am Canadian!) and shopped around with the help of a rather un-helpful sales representative. (In my day job, I train sales people, so my expectations are rather high and I'm often disappointed). After tapping a few keys, comparing features and prices, I decided to go with the least expensive model with the most features (fastest processor, biggest hard drive, most RAM) and walked out with an Acer laptop with a 15.6″ screen and full-sized keyboard with numeric keypad. This wasn't exactly what I wanted because my computer case spends a considerable amount of time haging from my shoulder. I wanted something lighter this time around but felt I couldn't pass up the deal.

The next day I sat down with my new computer, happy and invigorated, ready to write  and research and enjoy the whole experience on a brand new level.

But wait… the addition of a numeric keypad means the keyboard is off-set to the left of the screen. A small thing, to be sure, so I experimented. Angle my wrists… no good. Move the computer a couple of inches (that term is for my U.S. readers) to the right… looks a little awkward, but I can deal with it. I begin writing and it doesn't take long for me to see the laptop's fatal flaw: the left-hand shift key is a single-size button. On my previous computer, as well as the iMac I use at home and the desktop I use at work, it's a double. Beside the shift on this new laptop is a slash. /

Every time I try to capitalize, I end up with a slash. /

I sit back in my chair, take a deep breath, delete the slash and carefully re-type the capital. Again. "I can do this," I tell myself. I'm a reasonably intelligent, forty-something man: I don't fall into that old dog/new tricks category. Not yet.

Do I? I try again. I delete more slashes, correct more capitals. Did I mention the delete button is in a different place than on my last computer, so even the act of correction requires more attention than usual? Try, delete, correct. Try, delete, correct. Slam the computer closed.

I didn't give up. For another week I hammered away, usually angrily, and when I slashed again and again, I barked and growled and then sat up and shook a paw, just like I always do. And then I made the decision to return it.

Now you may have the same reaction my wife did: "It's a silly reason to take it back."

Let's look a little deeper. In the last four years, I have written three and a half novels. The combined word count of these alone is around 410,000 words (and that only considers one draft and leaves out the 6 short stories I've also written). I read somewhere recently that the average sentence runs 35 words (though that sounds long to me). Using these number to extrapolate, I've hit the shift key on my computer 11714 times, and that's not taking into account proper nouns, multiple drafts, blog entries, emails, etc.

I use the left shift key for 80%+ of my capitalizations. That is one ingrained habit. Is there anything else in my life other than breathing I've done over 10,000 times? Blinking, too, I guess, but no one has asked my to try breathing or blinking in a different manner. "Blink more with your right eye, Bruce." Not happening.

As you might guess from the lack of / beginning sentences in this blog, I returned the computer and switched back to the old dinosaur…for now. The shopping began anew and, I'm sorry to say, the majority of laptops in production these days have that tiny shift key. That annoying, frustrating, time-consuming shift key.

But there is good news. It turns out there is one company that appears to still believe in the double-sized shift key: Dell. (I say appears because I've only seen pictures of them, not actually touched one of the new line of Inspirions). So I ordered one, ended up spending twice what my budget was supposed to be, but I'm getting a 14″ screen to make it more portable, and more RAM, and a faster processor, and a bigger hard drive.

And a proper shift key, if the advertising is accurate.

Soon this old dinosaur of a laptop will get handed down to my daughter, to live out its final days writing stories about Leo the Lion or surfing the Webkinz site, continuing its duties though I've moved on. It's been good to me, seen plots and characters, excitement and failure.

Did I mention the old dinosaur laptop is a Dell?

Same old dog, same old tricks.

(There are 156 uses of the left-hand shift key in this post)