Rebecca Zanetti's Blog, page 7

November 6, 2015

Talk about a Wicked Kiss!

wicked-edge_hi-resHi all!  Wicked Edge releases on Tuesday (feel free to pre-order, LOL!), and I thought it’d be fun to have an excerpt here today:


Wicked Edge excerpt #1


The elevator door opened, and Daire clamped his hands on Cee Cee to keep her in place down the hallway and while he kicked open the door to his penthouse. Not wanting to wait another second, he took her lips, kissing her hard and taking her deep. A growl rose within him, a testament to his species, and he didn’t care.


He kissed her long and hard until neither one of them could breathe, and then, only then, did he lift his head.


A flush covered her face, and desire danced across her skin, the intensity of it palpable. Slowly, her chest moving as she panted, her legs released him, and she slid down his body. “You’re something, Daire Dunn,” she murmured, her hands going to her jacket.


He breathed in her scent, feeling it seep under his skin. “Take off your clothes.” They might as well get the parameters of the night straight now.


She smiled, a siren’s dare, and reached for her lapels. “I do like how you kiss.”


“Do as I say, and you’ll get kissed again.”


She gave a half nod. Regret twisted her lip.


He stiffened instinctively.


The tiniest flash of silver. She dodged forward, much faster than he would’ve thought, and stuck a needle in his arm, plunging instantly.


He roared and flew back, striking out. His knuckles impacted her chin, and she crashed toward the wall. Sizzling sparks shot through his veins. Gray covered his vision, and as hard as he tried to remain standing, gravity won. The last, bizarre thought he had before his face hit the cold marble floor was a hope that he hadn’t hurt her.


The world fuzzed. He lay on the ground, fighting to move, urging his brain to kick back alive. Sounds morphed in and out as he lay not feeling anything. Sounds, muffled and unclear, echoed back from other rooms.


Finally, spiked heels crossed his vision.


Cee Cee leaned down and brushed his forehead with soft lips. “I’m sorry.”


The touch awoke something in him, and his hand unfisted. He growled low, and she jumped back.


“You’ll be okay by tomorrow,” she whispered, turning on one of those deadly heels and leaving the apartment.


“This . . . isn’t . . . over,” he ground out. Then blackness covered his vision, and he passed out.


If you love the Dark Protectors, these wicked hot Realm Enforcers are for you!


 [Kindle]  [Nook]  [Kobo Books]  [Books-A-Million]  [Google play]

2 likes ·   •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on November 06, 2015 04:03

Matchmaking 101, 102.

Guest Blogger-Kelley Bowen

Hi all! I’m Charly, Rebecca’s assistant. We thought it’d be fun to do a ‘Romance: The Good, the Bad, and the Disastrous’ theme with guest bloggers throughout the summer months. Every Monday and Thursday, we’ll have a guest blogger talk about fun stuff like horrible dates, good dates, etc. Some bloggers will have a contest, and some won’t – it’s totally up to them. If there is a contest, I’ll randomly draw a winner from the post comments, send the winner’s email address to the guest blogger, and they’ll take it from there. Rebecca will jump in and blog when she can. For now, enjoy as we play!




CAURWLY3As a single girl, I never ventured into the brave new world of online dating. Nope. Not me. I favored the tried-and-true, old-fashioned method. You know the one…being set up by friends who claimed to know what’s best for you. I even allowed these matchmaking efforts more than once. Okay, twice. But trust me, twice was enough.


The first attempted set-up was wonderful… initially. A few dates developed into a seemingly beautiful romance full of dreamy nights and soulful music. I was in love for the first time, happy beyond measure. Unfortunately sooner, rather than later, it became clear that I was involved in what the Guinness brothers might call The Worst Relationship Ever. Yep, world record terrible. The kind of terrible that makes you rethink your entire life. Survivable, yes, but barely. My well-meaning, gullible friends had been conned by a man very skilled at hiding the fact that HE WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I’d been conned, too. Lesson learned, right?


Right.


Certainly after that fiasco, you’d think I’d be done with the matchmaking scene. But, no. I gave the whole “but he’s perfect for you” thing another chance, and let’s just say Matchmaking 102 hit closer to the mark. Set-Up Guy #2 wore a pair of retro-cool Wayfarers as he stepped from his red-hot Alpha Romeo and cruised toward me, flowers in hand. My friends owed me big time, and boy, had they delivered. We drove his convertible out to a picnic spot on the water, and enjoyed a lovely day of totally innocuous, easy, but passionless conversation. Despite the car, there was no heat. We went out a few more times (because…hello…Alpha Romeo) but the relationship quickly fizzled away. Why? Who knows? Not me. He was gorgeous and sweet and man, did he have swag. But we didn’t have the magic. Friends? Yes, absolutely. Even now, I think of him and those Wayfarers with fondness. Sigh. Damn that was a smokin’ car.


Years later, I met and married a charming, funny-as-hell hottie. He and I bought the first car of our married life together, a beat-up, square-shaped, literally smoking Chevy Cavalier. We paid a thousand bucks for it and that was probably too much. But he and I had heat. Good thing, too, because that old Chevy did not.


But love’s a crazy thing. Is the long-term all about ease and steady compatibility? Or does passion play a part in who we fall for? Ultimately, I think we can have both. But maybe that’s just me. One thing’s for sure…it’s November, time to turn up the heat.


 ABOUT KELLEY:

After ten years of survival, aka working, in Hollywood, this former actress and current author of sexy contemporary romance is living happily-ever-after in Pittsburgh with her longtime sweetie, and their two punky kids. When not carpooling to birthday parties or testing her gourmet cooking skills by throwing a frozen pizza into the oven, Maggie daydreams about sneaking off to Vegas or Napa, or even just the movies. A love of red wine, Italian food, and music round out her list of life’s greatest joys. Oh, and Tuesday night karaoke, totally underrated fun.


Website: www.maggiekelleyromance.com

Email: maggiekelleyromance@gmail.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maggie.kelley.92

Twitter: @kelley_maggie

Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Maggie-Kelley/e/B00UVWFC78/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/13561744.Maggie_Kelley


LATEST RELEASE:

UH_500 CoverA match made in Manhattan…:


By-the-book Marianne McBride wants to prove she’s more than a computer geek in a pair of horn-rimmed glasses. But how did she end up hiding in a cake, waiting to sing “Happy Birthday” to Nick Wright, a sexy and arrogant serial-dater? Not exactly part of her plan. Especially when she finds herself kissing the birthday boy, and then running like hell…


Nick falls for no woman. No strings, no commitments, and no relationships. Not even with the sweetly curvaceous bombshell from his birthday. But then he’s hit by a bombshell of his own. He needs to find the perfect faux fiancée, or kiss his key to the executive washroom goodbye. Fortunately, his matchmaker sister has the perfect girl in mind.


Now Nick and Marianne have to pretend they’re in love for six weeks. No dating. No sex.


And definitely no acting on the wickedly-hot chemistry that could ruin everything…


Amazon B&N


Cover BtBBreaking the Bachelor, is a Kindle deal this month…on sale for just 99 cents.


Lovestruck FB party on 8/20: https://www.facebook.com/events/1481798135473712/

 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on November 06, 2015 01:00

November 4, 2015

Win $100!

Hi All!  To celebrate the release of Wicked Edge next Tuesday, we’re having DAILY contests on the FB page.  The contest for the day goes up at 3:00pm EST, and we pick a winner by the next day.  Some of the prizes are print books, audio books, Amazon gift cards ($50 and $100), and super duper rare ARCs.  So stop by the page each day for a chance to win:


https://www.facebook.com/RebeccaZanetti.Author.FanPage


Winner

2 likes ·   •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on November 04, 2015 06:55

October 30, 2015

My Most Romantic Date Ever!

Guest Blogger-Cathy Skendrovich

Hi all! I’m Charly, Rebecca’s assistant. We thought it’d be fun to do a ‘Romance: The Good, the Bad, and the Disastrous’ theme with guest bloggers throughout the summer months. Every Monday and Thursday, we’ll have a guest blogger talk about fun stuff like horrible dates, good dates, etc. Some bloggers will have a contest, and some won’t – it’s totally up to them. If there is a contest, I’ll randomly draw a winner from the post comments, send the winner’s email address to the guest blogger, and they’ll take it from there. Rebecca will jump in and blog when she can. For now, enjoy as we play!




Author Photo 2You know those people who sleep on planes? I’m not one of them. I have to stay awake and help the pilot fly the plane. Flying has never been my thing. Rocketing through the air at over 500 miles per hour, thirty-five thousand feet above the earth, is not my idea of fun.


You can guess I wasn’t that thrilled when my husband and I decided to take our two sons to Washington, D.C. for vacation about ten years ago. But I really wanted them to have that experience, so we went ahead and booked the trip. Flying from the west coast to the east is not cheap. To counter the cost, my husband had the bright idea to use connecting flights for less expense. Salt Lake, Atlanta, and Richmond.


In Salt Lake we didn’t have too far to go to our next gate, but in Atlanta we had a full-out run to reach our plane. Imagine herding two boys through a crowded airport in a tight time-frame. I was already having doubts about air travel. The turbulence we encountered in Atlanta sealed the deal, as did the moment we taxied down the runway to Richmond and saw our luggage still waiting on the tarmac. I was thoroughly done with air travel by then.


The trip was fun, but afterwards I told my husband that if we couldn’t afford non-stop, I wasn’t flying anymore. And I held to that promise for several years. Until my husband tricked me into the most romantic weekend trip I’ve ever experienced.


100_3865Once the boys were old enough to stay home with their grandpa, we started taking short trips over Spring Break, just the two of us. Car trips. Except that one April my husband laid out two carry-on bags and said we were flying to San Francisco. Of course I balked, but he assured me it was a non-stop flight. I was still jittery, but since there isn’t much air turbulence over California, I sucked it up.

It was a short, smooth flight. We landed in San Francisco, but that wasn’t our destination. I was surprised when he picked up a rental car. We drove north, over the Golden Gate Bridge, in the rain, and I was excited and curious. I’d made it through the plane flight unscathed, and now could enjoy the rest of our trip. I had no clue where we were going until we pulled off into a little wine country town called Healdsburg, and then I figured it out. He was taking me to the bed and breakfast inn we stayed at on our first wedding anniversary!


100_3864Oh, it was beautiful, and exactly as it had been twenty-five years before, just with more mature vegetation. We had a different room, though just as sweetly furnished, with a lovely pear tree in bloom outside our window. The bathroom sported a Jacuzzi tub, just like our first room had had.

My husband had chocolate covered strawberries waiting for us as well, and sparkling cider, since neither of us drink. He’d set the stage for a romantic getaway, and had blown me away in the process.


100_3858That weekend stands out in my memory as one of the most romantic “dates” I’ve ever been on. He planned and executed it all on his own, and hit it out of the park. We sight-seed in San Francisco, walked through Healdsburg, saw a movie, and generally reconnected as a couple. That trip was the start of many more lovingly planned ones.


When readers ask why I write romance, it’s never a hard question for me to answer. I married a man who has a romantic soul. He may swear and complain and tailgate on freeways (much like Jake in Prisoner of Love), but I never need to question his love for me. The longer we’ve been together, the more that becomes apparent. Of course I write romance; I’m living one.


ABOUT CATHY:

Cathy has always loved writing, but that pesky thing called Real Life cast writing into the backseat for years. Now she has reunited with her creative passion, and devotes every moment she can to all the plots and characters milling about in her imagination. She admits she finds story plotlines in everyday occurrences going on around her.


When she’s not writing her special mixture of romance and humor, she likes to travel, read, and take long walks with her husband (the inspiration for her happily-ever-afters). Cathy looks forward to many years of writing for readers’ enjoyment.


FAVORITE QUOTE:

What did you say to a man you’d allowed to stick his tongue down your throat, as well as grope your body?


LATEST RELEASE:

Prisoner of Love


POL_500Risking his own life is one thing. Risking hers is another…


It was supposed to be a girls-only weekend in the California mountains. But when Lucy Parker is carjacked by an escaped prisoner, her fun weekend takes a nighmarish turn. Now she’s caught up in a dangerous world of stolen money, vicious drug dealers, and murder, and the only thing keeping her alive is her oh-so-hot captor.


Imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit, undercover cop Jake Dalton wants answers-now. Worse, he’s dragged Lucy into the mix, and she’s now guilty by association. With their lives on the line, the race is on to get to Las Vegas before they’re killed…and they’re running out of time.


entangled_logo_2

 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on October 30, 2015 07:00

October 29, 2015

Do You Like Soap Operas?

Have you ever heard of a soap opera in novella form?  Me either.  Well…now we have.  :)  Julie Kenner and Dee Davis put together a scandal filled soap opera, and I wrote episode six, which released today.  It’s called TAKE THE STORM. 


If you want to read something a little different and a lot of fun, take a look at RISING STORM. 


Graphic2Rising Storm Episode #6
Take the Storm TAKE THE STORM – October 29, 2015

Secrets, Sex and Scandals …


Welcome to Storm, Texas, where passion runs hot, desire runs deep, and secrets have the power to destroy… Get ready. The storm is coming.


Marisol Moreno has spent her youth taking care of her younger siblings. Now, with her sister, Ginny, in crisis, and her brother in the throes of his first real relationship, she doesn’t have time for anything else. Especially not the overtures of the incredibly compelling Patrick Murphy.



 [Kindle]  [Kobo Books]  [Google play]



 



Rising Storm_all books_lg

1 like ·   •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on October 29, 2015 15:21

October 28, 2015

Sale, Sale, Sale…

Hi all!  My goodness…I seem to be posting quite a few blogs lately.  There will be another one tomorrow since Take the Storm releases, and then we’ll go back to our regularly not-scheduled, blog by the seat of my pants, approach here.  :)  For now, guess what?


WICKED RIDE IS ON SALE!!!
 [Kindle]  [Nook]  [iBooks]  [Kobo Books]  [Books-A-Million]  [Google play]

WR-6-6
WICKED RIDE

The Realm Enforcers #1
Wicked Ride

The Realm Enforcers #1

ASIN: B00ONTR7I2

ISBN-13: 9781601834133




If you love the Dark Protectors, these wicked hot Realm Enforcers are for you!


Alexandra Monzelle is a hard-fighting,  heat-packing Seattle vice cop, and she’s not much interested in being protected. Her short skirt and sex-kitten heels are tools to lure her suspects into talking about the deadly new drug hitting the streets. She can take care of herself and then some. Unfortunately, she can’t seem to get that through to Kellach Dunne.


Kellach is a fresh import from Dublin, and he’s landed at the heart of a vicious motorcycle club that deals in guns, narcotics, and mayhem. He’s all male, all rough power—and all interference in her damn investigation. Maybe he’s one of the good guys. Maybe not. Lex knows an affair with an immortal like him would risk everything. No matter how delicious he looks…


 [Kindle]  [Nook]  [iBooks]  [Kobo Books]  [Books-A-Million]  [Google play]


Also, don’t forget to enter the Dark Protector audio book giveaway! All you have to do is click on the link, and then leave a comment at the end of the blog, and you’re entered to win one of the audio books.  Good luck!

 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on October 28, 2015 08:36

October 27, 2015

Win an Audio Book!

Audio Dark Protector BooksHi all!  We’re starting the countdown for the release of WICKED EDGE, which is Daire Dunne’s book.  He’s basically a Dark Protector on a Harley.  :)  To celebrate and start the buzz, I thought I’d give away a couple of audio books from the Dark Protector series. 


All you have to do to enter is leave a comment below and answer 2 questions:


1)  What TV show is your ‘DO NOT MISS’ show right now?


2) Which audio book do you want?  (Fated, Claimed, Tempted, Hunted, Consumed, Provoked, Twisted, Shadowed, Tamed, or Marked)?


I have codes for all of them, so I’m asking just so I know which one to email to you.  When I email the code, I’ll give you instructions how to download the audio book from Audible.  (It’s really easy).  Or rather…Charly will give you instructions.  She’s much better at it than I am.  :)


We will randomly choose five winners from the commenters by next Monday.  And again…it doesn’t matter which book you choose – I have multiple codes for all of them. 


Good luck!!!


Quick note…Take the Storm (My episode of the Rising Storm Soap Opera) releases on Thursday, and WICKED EDGE releases on next Tuesday.)


XO


Rebecca signatureblue


 

3 likes ·   •  6 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on October 27, 2015 03:00

October 26, 2015

Making Money the Traditionally Published Way

I was chatting with some newer authors the other day, and one made the comment that she wanted to self-publish her first book only because that was the only way to make money from books.  A couple of other newer authors nodded at her comment, and I have to say, it surprised me a little bit.  To set the record straight, it’s entirely possible to make a good income, hell, a great well-into-the-six-figure-income, from traditionally published books.


Please note that I’m all for self-publishing, hybrid publishing, and traditional publishing…it’s all good and any avenue that gets books to readers is a win in my opinion.  I have friends following every path out there, and it’s extremely exciting.  So, this post is probably more for authors than fans, FYI.  The publishing industry, unbeknownst to most fans, has several different avenues available for authors to get books to readers.  I really don’t think readers care how a book gets published, or who publishes it…they just want good stories with dynamic characters.


So authors can do it themselves (often with a professional team they put together), go hybrid (have both traditional and self pubbed books), or go traditional with a publisher (which does everything but write the book.).  Even with traditional, an author does marketing and promotion, FYI.  Just not all of it.  I get excellent marketing and promotional support from Kensington and Grand Central.  Stuff I’ve never even thought of or heard about before.  On my part, I have a newsletter, a blog, a FB page, and twitter.  While I have help with those, I do post myself sometimes.


Last I heard, there were about 3500-4000 books uploaded to Amazon every day.  That’s a lot!  The idea of coming up with the marking to stand out in that crowd makes me nervous, to be honest.  Although, I know some very successful Indie authors who are doing just that.  Impresses the heck out of me.


The other thing I really like about traditional publishing is the editing.  My editors are phenomenal and see things in a book that I miss…and it’s always my decision on what to tweak or not to tweak.  Many Indies hire good editors, and that’s fantastic, but my editors are there and ready to dig in…and have a stake in the book since they acquired it. 


One thing that I’m a little concerned about, and this is across the board, no matter how somebody is published.  Many of the author conferences I’ve attended the last couple of years are focused much more on marketing and promotion (I totally admit this is crucially important these days), and not as focused on craft.  This makes me a little sad. 


Marketing and promotion might get a reader…but only craft and excellent writing will keep a reader.


Craft matters, and right now, if I have extra time, I want to work on craft and not on marketing.  But that’s just me. I’m on several author loops, and I can’t remember the last time anybody posted a question that didn’t have to do with marketing, key words, ads, etc.  I miss the days of talking about the hero’s journey, character arcs, motivations…etc.  I’m sure those days will come back, BTW.


shutterstock_122830036So any time I’m not writing…I’m not writing.  It would take time to learn how to market, promote, distribute, format, etc…and that takes time away from writing.  I know of some Indie authors who have the system down perfectly and only spend an hour a day doing all of that.  But…I can write about 1500 words in an hour.  So that’s 10,500 words a week, 42,000 words a month, or 504,000 words a year  (about 5 books).  That hour a day, for me, could be spent writing five more books a year.  (Okay, probably 4 books…I don’t write every day, and sometimes I have slow hours.  But you get the point).


Please, for the love of all that is holy, do not think I’m knocking self-publishing.  I’m  not.  Do not think I’m against it or will never give it a shot – I probably will someday.  Yeah, in fact, I’m sure I will someday.  I do have a friend, one I really like, that somehow thinks if I say the sky is blue, I just insulted her and self-pubbing.  Yeah, that’s probably a ‘her’ problem and not a ‘me’ problem, but still, I never want to hurt anybody’s feelings. (Then she blogs about it…)


shutterstock_131894630Please don’t pick apart my little blog here…I’m just sayin…take a look at traditional publishing, new authors.  That’s the entire message here.


All three avenues of publishing are valid, exciting, and important to a healthy industry as a whole. I just wanted to set the record straight a little bit that it is possible to make money the traditional way, and that I think newer authors should look at going traditional as well as Indie.  That’s all.  Rebecca out.


(**The license to use the pictures in this blog was purchased from Depositphotos.com). XO Rebecca signatureblue

2 likes ·   •  1 comment  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on October 26, 2015 05:00

October 19, 2015

Rebecca’s 10 Steps for Writing A Book

Depositphotos_3744598_l-20151. The fun blank page: yippee! A first meet, hero and heroine, OMG I love this book


2. 25,000 words in: Wait a second. Who’s the bad guy?


3. 50,000 words in: Okay, I figured it out. This will come together.


4. 70,000 words in: My career is over, this book doesn’t make sense, I’m going to tank.


Illustration of a girl writer leaning on her chair while thinking


5. 95,000 words: Well, it’s finished. I can fix it in copy edits


6. Editorial edits: Hmmm. Good point. The heroine can’t magically fly, now can she? And a penis can’t do that from across a room. Fixed!


7. Copy edits: I’m liking this book. It actually came together.


8. Page proofs: It’s too late to change anything. What did I do? My career is over. Maybe I can open up a yogurt shop with Joanna Wylde. So long as she’s in charge of the caramel, she’s on board.


9funny cocktail dog behind a white banner. Release day: I think I’m gonna throw up.


10. After release week: Whew! That was kind of fun. Let’s write another book…


**Just a quick reminder that TAKE THE STORM releases on October 29th, WICKED EDGE releases on November 10th, TEASED releases on December 8th, and MERCURY STRIKING releases on January 26th.  WHEW!


XO  Rebecca signatureblue

3 likes ·   •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on October 19, 2015 03:00

October 16, 2015

Milking Snails – aka dumb things teenagers do

Guest Blogger-Amy Andrews

Hi all! I’m Charly, Rebecca’s assistant. We thought it’d be fun to do a ‘Romance: The Good, the Bad, and the Disastrous’ theme with guest bloggers throughout the summer months. Every Monday and Thursday, we’ll have a guest blogger talk about fun stuff like horrible dates, good dates, etc. Some bloggers will have a contest, and some won’t – it’s totally up to them. If there is a contest, I’ll randomly draw a winner from the post comments, send the winner’s email address to the guest blogger, and they’ll take it from there. Rebecca will jump in and blog when she can. For now, enjoy as we play!




 


biopic2014I need to preface this piece by saying that I never thought I’d ever be writing a blog with milking and snails in the title. And I’m pretty much up for writing about anything. So far I’ve written blogs on such diverse topics as mighty wangs, ick words, hate mail, being a fat author, pirates (the Arrrrrrr kind not the illegal download kind) and pink fluffy handcuffs to name a few. But I knew the blog had to be about me – not my books – so had decided on blogging about lists. Making them and crossing them off. Which was going to lead to my obsession with post-it notes and pictures of my computer screen currently surrounded by a fringe of them.


All a little more relevant to my life than snail milking I can tell you! But then my seventeen year old daughter went and bought something dodgy off the internet which leads me to this topic. It’s not really related to anything about me or my life in particular, other than it being one of life’s grand WTF moments you have as a mother in which you wonder where you went wrong. So, I thought I’d share because maybe you guys might have had moments like this as well and when you’ve all finished headdesk’ing I was hoping you’d tell me what dumb things your teenager had done and then I wouldn’t feel so bad….


Sometimes that helps.


So….I found this vial (luckily not yet accessed) on my daughter’s desk a couple of nights ago. She wasn’t home at the time. Now, I’ve been a nurse for twenty-seven years (which makes this story even more what the hell was she thinking) so I know a vial when I see one. It contained a rather viscous looking clear fluid and had Chinese writing on it and was sitting next to the box from which it had obviously come, also covered in Chinese writing.


ME: What the?


Shows it to husband. It has two English words on – hyaluronic acid. Immediately Google hyaluronic acid. Thankfully not some new liquid form of Ice or other equally scary drug. Big sigh – daughter probably not a drug addict. Win for us.


Two hours later daughter comes home from late night shopping, laden with parcels for prom and happy as a clam.


ME: (holding up vial) Ahhh, what’s this?


HER: (no hesitation) Snail oil.


ME: (blinking) You mean snake oil, right?


HER: (crickets…)


ME: What the hell is snail oil?


snakeoilHER: It’s oil from snails. You rub it on your face. It’s supposed to be really good.


ME: (brains exploding trying to know where to even start) How do you know?


HER: The website has videos of clinics where they have snails crawling over people’s faces and how great it is for your skin.


ME: No. How do you know its snail oil? That it is what it says it is?


Especially when the vial and packaging are covered in a language none of us can read?


HER: looks at me perplexed like why on earth wouldn’t it be what it says it is….


ME: (wondering where I went wrong) Long, long rant followed about buying bogus crap of dodgy origins and even dodgier claims off the freaking internet from freaking China. A lecture about lack of regulations, controls, oversight blah, blah, blah. Horror stories about death and faces peeling off ensued.


Now, she’s used to horror stories from me. Trust, me as someone who worked in a PICU for twenty-one years, I have a horror story for every life situation and have regaled my kids with every one of them at every opportunity in my effort to keep them safe and aware of potential adverse health consequences should they not properly think through their actions. Such stories always inevitably ended up with them being in ICU. Usually they ran something like this – “if you play with matches you might drop it on the carpet and set the house alight and collapse from smoke inhalation and get third degree burns and end up in ICU for a long time where all your skin will need to be replaced and where you could possibly die and I’m much too young to be sad for the rest of my life.”


Drastic? Yes. It has, however, served me well over the years.


But let me tell you, I outdid myself with bogus Chinese snail slime horror stories!


The thing is though, she honestly hadn’t thought that it could be bogus. It hadn’t occurred to her to question the claims or the safety of buying something like this off the internet from god knew who. Or even to consult her mother, the nurse, who probably had some valuable insights into these sorts of things. And here I was thinking I’d raised my kids to always question things…


Like, for starters, let’s just pretend for a moment that it is actual snail slime in that vial. How do they extract the slime? Do they milk it somehow? Do snails have tiny udders I’ve never known about?


I’m thinking not…


I’m thinking the extraction process is slightly more brutal and not one too many snails would survive. And whilst snails are kinda gross little slimy creatures, I’m not sure they should be sacrificed so people can have another weird beauty ritual. This is a girl who is big on animal rights but that hadn’t occurred to her either.


So, there you have it. Dumb teenager thing #2436…..Please, please tell me I’m not alone.


ABOUT AMY:

Amy is an award-winning, best-selling Aussie author who has written over

fifty contemporary romances in both the traditional and digital markets. She

loves good books, fab food, great wine and frequent travel – preferably all

four together. She lives on acreage on the outskirts of Brisbane with a

gorgeous mountain view but secretly wishes it was the hillsides of Tuscany.

To keep up with her latest releases and giveaways sign up for her newsletter

http://www.amyandrews.com.au/newsletter.html


FAVORITE QUOTE:

somegirlsdomeme


LATEST RELEASE:

Some Girls Do


SOMEGIRLSDOcoverFashion student Lacey Weston is desperate to leave the city and go home to Jumbuck Springs. Her three older brothers are adamant she’s not. They made a death bed promise to their mother that Lacey would stay the distance at design school and Ethan, the oldest, takes this responsibility very seriously. But Lacey is deeply homesick and determined not to be dissuaded again. She’s also impulsive enough to try anything – even faking a pregnancy.


Ex-cop turned mechanic, Cooper Grainger – one of Ethan’s oldest friends -agrees to watch out for Lacey in the city even though he has a history with her he’d rather forget. How hard could it be, right? But a couple of years later, Coop is over pulling Lacey out of scrapes and cleaning up her messes

as she tries to outrun her grief and sense of dislocation. He takes her back

to Jumbuck Springs so she can persuade her brothers to let her come home.

But things don’t go according to plan. Before Coop knows it Lacey’s pregnant

and he’s putting his hand up as the fake baby daddy, filling in for the town

mechanic and moving in with her at the local pub.


Lacey is thrilled to have won a reprieve but nothing about the situation

sits well with Coop. Least of all having sweet little Lacey Weston as his

new roomie…


Amazon


GIVEAWAY:

Leave a comment for a chance to win a print copy of Amy’s USA Today bestselling Brazen – No More Mr Nice Guy and a retro romance cover inspired notebook. It’s open

internationally.


giveawayRebeccaZanettie

1 like ·   •  1 comment  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on October 16, 2015 01:00