Molly Larkin's Blog, page 10

Water is Sacred. Why are we poisoning it?

Water. The original peoples teach that it is sacred and we cannot live without it.

It is the first thing we use every morning, and the last thing we use every night.

It allows us to thrive, and plants, trees and our food to grow. It is essential to all life.

And yet we poison it at every turn:

It’s reported that at the Rio Olympics, swimmers need to ingest only three teaspoons of water to contract a virus. Rio de Janeiro waterways are contaminated with raw human sewage teeming with dangerous viruses and bacteria.


14 billion pounds of garbage, mostly plastic, is dumped into the ocean each year, killing sea life. In January, 2016, thirteen sperm whales washed up dead in Germany, their stomachs full of plastic and auto parts.

One in 10 people globally live without clean water.


Fracking to bring us natural gas pollutes our underground aquifers.


In the U.S., the Clean Water Act is violated at every turn, yet rarely are guilty companies punished.


Michigan government allowed the water supply of the city of Flint to be poisoned to save money. Now Flint children have lead poisoning, which causes brain damage.


In developing countries, 70% of industrial waste is dumped untreated into waters, polluting the usable water supply.


70% of the earth is covered with water, but fresh water in the world is only 3.5% of the total water available [most water is ocean water].


320 million in China have no access to clean drinking water.


After the 2011 Tsunami, the Japanese government dumped 2 million gallons of radioactive waste into the Pacific Ocean.


15 million children under the age of five die each year because of diseases caused by drinking polluted water.


In America, 40% of the rivers and 46% of the lakes are polluted and considered unhealthy for swimming, fishing or aquatic life.

I could go on, but it only gets more depressing. We feel helpless as to what we can do to help, but there is a fight going on here in the U.S. that we can all support.

We can stop the desecration of water on Native lands

The U.S. Federal government has approved the Dakota Access Pipeline to be built across Lakota Sioux Indian land and waters in direct violation of the 1851/68 Ft. Laramie Treaties with the Great Sioux Nation.

The path of the 1,172 mile pipeline will

Transport 470,000 barrels of crude oil per day, disturbing burial grounds and sacred sites on the tribe’s ancestral Treaty lands.
Cross 209 rivers, creeks and tributaries, including the Missouri River, the tribe’s main source of drinking and irrigation water.
Threaten the way of life of the Sioux people, water, and land. Pipelines break: in 2012-2013 there were 300 oil pipeline breaks just in the state of North Dakota.
Leave the Standing Rock Sioux and millions of others without any clean water if there is a leak.

In addition to the Sioux Tribe, the Dakota Access Pipeline is opposed by farmers, ranchers and environmental groups.

For the past few weeks, peaceful demonstrations by Native Americans and friends have been taking place to prevent the building of the pipeline across Sioux land and water. As of this writing, twelve peaceful protesters have been arrested, including the Tribal Chairman.

This is a worthy cause: indigenous people defending their land and water against big oil corporations and government.

This heartfelt and eloquent statement by the Standing Rock Sioux Tribal Chairman is worth reading: http://lastrealindians.com/statement-from-standing-rock-sioux-tribal-chairman-on-the-dakota-access-pipeline/

You can sign a petition to show your support for the Tribe’s efforts to stop construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline here: https://secure.earthjustice.org/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=1861

We’ve already stolen their land, let’s at least leave our Native Peoples with clean water.

 

 

What blessing have you given today?

Several years ago, when the pop singer Madonna was studying the Kabbalah with Rabbi Philip Berg, she invited Rabbi Berg up on stage at the end of one of her concerts and asked him to give the audience a blessing.

That was a lovely sentiment, but an unnecessary one. Because I’ve learned that we can all give blessings.

What do blessings do?

There are any number of definitions of blessings, but my view is that a blessing asks for the Creator’s protection, or a little gift of extra energy to make everything better.

When I first started studying with my teacher, Bear Heart, I would ask him to bless spiritual items I had acquired. I felt it would give them extra power if they were blessed by a medicine man.

Yet after 30 years of walking this path, I’ve come to understand that we all have the ability to give blessings, and it’s a good practice to do so regularly.

Prayers are blessings, too. At the end of every purification lodge ceremony I attended with him, Grandfather Wallace Black Elk would pray for orphans, those living in war zones, prisons, those who are hungry, homeless, in hospitals, prisons, … the list can be endless.

We can do that, too, and perhaps should.

How to give a blessing

For a spiritual object, asking the Creator to imbue it with good energy, to be used to help people, for the highest good, is a way of blessing it.

In addition to how Grandfather Wallace prayed, here are some other situations which could benefit from blessings:

Children
The homeless
The disabled
Victims of traffic accidents.
Homeless animals
Road killed animals

Actions which are blessings:

Giving a compliment
Writing thank you notes
Volunteering for a good cause
Saying a kind word

Phrases which are blessings:

“Peace upon this house” – Irish
“Have a safe journey”
“I hope you feel better”
“I’m sorry for your loss”
“Thank you very much”

My ancestors, the Irish, are famous for blessings, and here you will find some classics: http://tacomaweekly.tripod.com/Irish-Quotations.html

When you pray for someone, you have given them a blessing

Some years ago there was a story in a British newspaper of a woman grievously injured in a multiple-car auto accident.

As first-responders struggled to free her from the car, she technically died, leaving her body and finding herself hovering above, watching the entire scene as an oberver. She became aware of a woman in a nearby car praying for her, and in that moment, found herself back in her body as the paramedics pulled her out of the car and put her in an ambulance.

But the story doesn’t end there. While she was out of her body, she saw and remembered the license plate number of the woman who prayed for her.

Her recovery took some time, but after she was released from the hospital, she used the license plate number to find the woman who had prayed for her and went to see her to express her gratitude.

“It was your prayers that brought me back into my body after I had left it. I wouldn’t be here without your kindness.”

It isn’t enough to want a good life for oneself. It is empty if we don’t wish it for others, too.

We may never know the impact our prayers, blessings or kindness may have on another human being. Let the act itself be its own reward, knowing that you are taking your place in the Sacred Hoop of all life, striving to make everyone’s journey a little easier.

Bless others, and you will be blessed.

And I leave you with my favorite Irish blessing:

“May the road rise to meet you,

“May the wind be always at your back,

“May the sun shine warm upon your face,

“The rains fall soft upon your fields and,

“Until we meet again,

“May God hold you in the palm of Her hand.” – Irish Blessing

Confessions of a bone broth drinking vegan

In 1993, while traveling with a family of Maoris through the Australian outback, I fell in love with bone broth.

I had gone to Australia to assist Lakota elder Wallace Black Elk at a conference of Native Americans, Maoris and Aborigines.

It was my first introduction to Maoris. These indigenous people of New Zealand are fun-loving, always laughing, singing and cooking and often invited the other elders and teachers over to their cabin for a meal. One thing they always seemed to have on hand, in addition to coffee, was a good bone broth as the first ingredient for a larger meal.

I found I loved the broth by itself: it seemed nutritious and thick and warming. I savored it, yet forgot about it when I returned home.

Fast forward 18 years, when after 12 years of undiagnosed fatigue, I discovered I had Lyme Disease, one of the most misunderstood and under-diagnosed illnesses of our time. I also learned about the importance of bone broth in treating it!

My history with Lyme Disease

Once diagnosed, I needed to decide on a course of treatment. Antibiotics were out of the question: my research showed that Lyme Disease often comes back once antibiotics are stopped, and long-term antibiotics may eliminate the beneficial bacteria in your gut and impair natural immunity.

After reading several books on Lyme Disease, I chose a doctor of oriental medicine who specialized in its treatment. He put me on a regimen of Chinese herbs but also suggested that I make my own bone broth which builds collagen in the body and enhances immunity.

Even though I’m vegan, I decided to make that exception to my diet. I had suffered too much for too long not to heed such expert advice. So the purpose of this post is to give you my health-enhancing bone broth recipe.

Today I seem to be Lyme-free, or at least free of the symptoms, so I continue to incorporate into my lifestyle anything that will enhance my immune system.

The benefits of bone broth

All bone broths are good for us [beef, chicken, fish, lamb, etc]. They are nutrient dense, easy to digest, rich in flavor and boost healing.

Our grandmothers were right when they told us chicken soup was healing. And making bone broth stock was part of our ancestors’ tradition of using every part of the animal.

70-80% of our immune system is based on the health of the bacteria and microbes in our digestive tract. Because it’s easy to digest, and full of nutrients, bone broth supports digestive health and nutrient absorption.

Here’s what else it does:

protects joints [via collagen]
promotes gut health
maintains healthy skin
supports the immune system
detoxifies
aids metabolism
promotes healthy bones

You can’t buy good broth in the supermarket, as pre-made and packaged bone broth will be full of sodium and preservatives such as MSG. However, there is a new trend of bone broth cafes sprouting up in major cities around the world, where the broth is made along the lines of what I’m going to present below.

Simmering over days releases healing compounds such as collagen, proline, clycine and glutamine. Bones contain many easy-to-digest nutrients, along with compounds that reduce arthritis, inflammation and joint pain.

My Bone Broth recipe

Get bones from a butcher who supplies meat and bones from hormone and antibiotic free, grass-fed animals. The point of bone broth is to enhance your health, not add toxins to it.
Bless the bones, smudging them with sage or cedar, to give thanks for an animal giving of its life so that you may continue yours. Pray for continued generations of animals to be treated humanely.
Roast about 5 pounds of beef bones in a 350 degree oven for 25 minutes per side as this helps give them more flavor. [Fish and poultry bones don’t need browning]
Place the bones in a large pot or crock pot. [I prefer a crock pot as you can just turn it on and leave it without much watching over].
Add the following organic vegetables:

Carrots: 2 chopped

Onions: 2 chopped

Celery: 2 stalks chopped

Garlic: I love garlic and use 6 cloves. Adjust according to your taste

Parsley: ½ bunch

Bay leaf: 1

Any other herbs you’re partial to.

Ginger: 1” chopped

8-10 black peppercorns

Sea salt: 2 tsp

Apple cider vinegar 2 T [to help pull nutrients from the bones]

Cover it all with water

Cook on slow for 24-48 hours. I prefer 36 hours. Slow cook time and low temperatures will extract the most nutrition from the bones. You will likely have to add water once or twice as it cooks.
When done, throw out all the solids and let the broth cool. I spoon out as much of the solids as I can with a slotted ladle, then pour the remainder into a colander sitting over a big pot. The colander captures the vegetables and the broth goes into the pot.
Store the broth in glass jars. What you won’t use in 5 days should be frozen but be sure to leave enough room at the top of the jar for expansion, otherwise, when it freezes and expands, your jars can break. [I learned this one the hard way].

When the broth cools, a layer of fat will harden on top; this protects the broth beneath. Discard this layer when you are about to drink the broth.

You can use the broth as a base for soups or stews, but I heat a cup to drink every morning.

To your health!

”Good broth resurrects the dead.”

South American proverb

 

Summer Solstice: your new beginning

June 20, 2016 is an auspicious day: both the Summer Solstice and a Full Moon – it’s the first time these two events have coincided in 70 years!

The Summer Solstice is the longest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere and the time to celebrate life in all its aspects.

It’s also the time to call in all the positive things you want in your life, and release what no longer serves you.

The Full Moon also brings in powerful energies for manifestation of what you want.

Solstice means “stand still” and refers to the way the sun appears to rise and set in the same place for a few days. This is also a good day to just relax, rest and stand still [take a break] from the business of life.

At Stonehenge in England, built 5000 years ago, the summer solstice sun at dawn rises over the structure’s Heel Stone and hits the Altar Stone dead center. Surely our ancestors knew something we don’t about the magic of this day.

This is a good time to do a ritual such as a burning bowl ceremony to release the old and bring in the new.

The power of Fire on the Solstice

All ancient cultures consider fire one of the most magical and necessary elements for transformation, purification and prayer.

According to Mara Freeman in Kindling the Celtic Spirit: Ancient Traditions to Illumine Your Life Through the Seasons[image error], our ancestors “lit bonfires to celebrate the sun at the height of its power and implore it not to withdraw into winter’s darkness.”

The fires were built on hilltops and the Old people would count the distant fires and tell the future from the number they saw and the brightness of the blaze.

In the words of author and shamanic teacher Alberto Villoldo, “Every time you light a match to light a candle, you can turn that into a fire ceremony because you are literally creating fire.”

Celebrate the Summer Solstice with a Burning Bowl ceremony

You will need a large bowl with tall sides, candle, matches and a piece of paper.

Set everything up as if you were creating a sacred altar, because you are.

First: a burning bowl ceremony to release the old

Take three slow deep inhales and exhales to center yourself.
Think over the past year: all the things that happened, both good and bad. Even the difficult situations taught you a lesson.
What people, situations, energies didn’t serve you? Ask, “what would be good for me to let go of in my life?” Sit with that question.
When you’re ready, write it down on a small piece of paper. Fold it, light it with the candle flame and drop it into the bowl as you release it, saying, “I release that which no longer serve me.”
Take a deep breath and express your gratitude for those hard lessons learned.

Next: A burning bowl ceremony to call in the new:

Again sitting at your altar, relax, and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and release it three times. Strive to let yourself feel grounded.
Focus on your heart. Think about what would really make your heart happy in the next year. What would you like to experience that would bring you joy?
When you experience joy, it goes out to the rest of the world.
When you follow your passion, you bless the world.
Call in relationships, work, health, lifestyle – anything you’d like to do, be, have or see. Don’t worry right now about the how. That’s not your job. The how is the Creator’s job. Your part is to express what you want.

It’s like placing an order in a five-star restaurant. You don’t go into the kitchen and look over the chef’s shoulder while he or she cooks and give them instructions. You sit at your table and trust that the perfect meal you ordered will be served to you at your table. Let life work like that for you.

This ceremony is about placing your order.

Again, write what you want to manifest on a piece of paper, light it with the candle flame, and drop it into the bowl. As it burns, the smoke is carrying your request up to the heavens.

Make a note in your journal of what’s on your list and in one year, look at it and see how many have manifested. Put it in a safe place and let the magic begin!

“There is a spiritual giant within you, which is always struggling to burst its way out of the prison you have made for it.” Norman Vincent Peale

 

Shamanism and personal healing

This post was first published on www.havingtime.com

Quite a few years ago, during a routine medical exam, my doctor found some abnormal cells – pre-cancerous, or what today would be called Stage Zero cancer.

She recommended laser surgery to remove them. Even back then, I was very holistic and didn’t want surgery of any kind, even laser surgery, so I considered my alternatives.

As part of my Native American studies, I had heard of prayer fetishes: objects that are created, personalized, and prayed over, to bring about a particular outcome. Taking a leap of faith, I decided I would make a health fetish as my path to curing my condition.

 

This week’s post was first published as a guest post on www.havingtime.com. You can read it in full here:

One Remarkable Thing About Personal Healing

Breaking free of limitations

 

As you know, my passion is balanced living and how to free ourselves from self-imposed limitations.

One of my favorite authors, Guy Finley, shares the same mission, and I have arranged for you to receive a free gift from him!

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In order to realize the happiness, the love, and the sense of fulfillment that only you have been given to know, there’s only one thing left for you to do!

Just learn to release everything that isn’t really you.

If you can see the power in this beautiful idea, then you can begin to realize your true Self and experience the wonders of this life in a whole new way. This new wisdom will help you:

Turn what limits you into what liberates you
Free yourself from stress, fear, and worry
Enjoy richer relationships, and brighter, happier days
Act rightly, decisively, and without regret
Deal with difficult people and situations
Maximize your creative energies
Achieve real results with less effort, in less time
Live in the deep abiding peace of a quiet mind

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For 30 years, self-realization teacher Guy Finley has offered guidance in achieving this higher state of awareness. Guy gave a series of talks at his annual Talks in the Pines workshop in Merlin, Oregon, and everyone who was fortunate enough to attend this event agrees that this was the most powerful series of talks that Guy has ever given.

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Blessings,

Molly

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“There is something profoundly healing in the way Guy Finley talks to us, as if he understands what we have gone through and what we are now capable of.” — Hugh Prather, Author of Notes to Myself

 I hope you will take advantage of this free gift.

Why we should approach sleep as ceremony

There’s a lot of talk about sleep in the news lately:

why we need it,
how to get it,
how much do we need?
to nap or not to nap?

The advice even fills books, but there’s one important point I think has been overlooked:

We should be approaching sleep with the same respect and solemnity as we do ceremony!

Ceremony is the language of Spirit — a tool for entering the world of spirit guides, angels and higher wisdom.

In ancient Greece, sleep was seen as a gateway to another realm, and temples had rooms where you’d dream and get your dreams analyzed by a priest the next morning.

Ceremony entails reverance, being open to messages from the Spirit world, and a new way of being and thinking. Our sleep time is an excellent way to enter that sacred realm.

Why sleep is sacred

“In the natural rhythms of the earth, dormancy is part of the cycle of life. We all need rest. In order to thrive, fields must lie fallow; animals hibernate; day recedes into night. The seventh day in the Genesis account of creation speaks to this truth, as Sabbath rest is deemed a holy part of the whole creation.” Lynn Gasteel Harper

We spend approximately 1/3 of our lives sleeping.
We replenish and renew our health during sleep.
It is the place and time where we can access the higher spiritual realms and our unconscious through dreams, where our angels and guides can send us information we need for our daily life or to solve problems.
It allows us to recharge our spiritual batteries.
By getting adequate sleep when it’s dark and being awake when it’s light, we stay in sync with the natural world: The order of the universe is rhythmic and we have a psychic and physiological need to be in sync with the earth’s cycles.
The natural light of the sun and moon regulates our circadian rhythms.

There are places I revisit in recurring dreams that seem as though they are parallel worlds. Sometimes I wonder if where I go during sleep is my real life and this one is the dream!!

Benefits of sleep

“Every important mistake I’ve made in my life, I made because I was too tired.” Bill Clinton

Our bodies continue to function during sleep: the heart beats, liver detoxifies, blood flows, but at the same time body damage is repaired, cells are renewed, hormones are balanced.
Sleep can also help with weight loss.
We integrate previously learned material during sleep.
During sleep our brain cells contract and allow the byproducts of thinking all day to be released. Scientists theorize this is the reason that poor sleep contributes to the risk of Alzheimers.
Adequate sleep keeps us sharp: Sleep deprivation is linked to chronic illnesses and accidents, such as the Exxon-Valdez oil spill, the Challenger space shuttle explosion, and the Three Mile Island and Chernobyl nuclear power plant accidents.
Studies have shown that medical interns working the night shift are twice as likely as others to misinterpret hospital test records, which could endanger patients.
Sleep of less than six hours a night increases the risk of depression.
Adequate sleep aids in test and athletic performance.
Well-rested people take fewer sick days.

How much sleep do we need? Take a look at the cool chart from the National Sleep Foundation.

Sleep don’ts :

Don’t watch TV in the bedroom. The last thing you watch may trigger dreams that are the opposite of spiritual messages!
If you watch TV news before bed, you’re inviting dreams of violence and negative energy.
Minimize electromagnetic fields in your bedroom: Don’t keep your computer and wireless router in the bedroom and don’t charge your electronics in the bedroom.
Avoid late night sugar, especially chocolate which can lead to nightmares. [I know — I love it, too, but late night chocolate does give me nightmares!]
Staying awake for 17-19 hours, leads to cognitive impairment equivalent to an 0.05 percent blood alcohol level. The impairment increases the longer you’re awake.
According to some researchers, sleep deprivation is the new smoking.

Sleep do’s :

Robert Rosenberg, medical director of the Sleep Disorders Center in Flagstaff, AZ says, “When your body is aligned with nature’s light-dark cycle, the release of melatonin will regulate, so you’ll find it easier to fall asleep at night.”

To help get back in touch with the earth’s light/dark cycles, turn off electronics one hour before sleep. If you live in the city, you may want to install blackout curtains in the bedroom.
Wear sleep clothes that signal to your brain it’s time to go to sleep. If you wear gym clothes to bed you’re giving your body a confusing message.
Optimal bedroom temperature for sleep is between 60 – 68 degrees F.
Sniff lavendar essential oil before going to sleep.
Drink an herbal tea in the evening that promotes relaxation.
Wear thick warm socks to keep your feet warm.
Tense and relax your muscles to promote sleep.
Do the 4-7-8 Breathing Technique. Instructions can be found on page 41 of my book, The Fountain of Youth Is Just a Breath Away: Breathing Exercises for Relaxation, Health and Vitality
Can’t sleep? Don’t just lay there, get up and do something such as read a book or journal until you’re ready to sleep.
A hot bath 90 minutes before bed improves sleep quality.
Use natural sleep supplements such as melatonin, valerian or passion flower.
Establish a relaxing bedtime routine such as reading something inspiring. This will help the body gradually unwind.
Eat melatonin-producing foods about an hour before bed, such as bananas, pineapple or oranges.
Invest in a good mattress.

Daytime practices to help you sleep at night

Exercise in the morning.
If you want to nap, 20 minutes seems to be the ideal time.
Avoid loud alarm clocks; being jolted awake in the morning starts your day with stress.
Limit caffeine after noon, as it’s effects can last up to 12 hours.
Your circadian system needs bright light to reset itself. 10-15 minutes of morning sunlight will let your internal clock know that day has arrived, making it less likely to be confused by weak light signals in the evening.
Maintain a regular sleep schedule, going to bed and getting up at the same time each day. This will make it easier to fall asleep at night and get up in the morning — your body will know what to do.
Check with your holistic doctor to see if you are magnesium deficient. Magnesium supplements can improve sleep efficiency.

Creating sleep as ceremony 

“Think of the way we put our babies to sleep—we don’t just plunk them in bed. We give them a bath, put them in their pj’s, sing them a lullaby. We need a ritual for ourselves.” Arianna Huffington

Smudge yourself before going to bed, to clear yourself of any negative energy of the day.
Face west and express gratitude with this prayer from The Wind Is My Mother: “Thank you for all the things that happened today, the good as well as the bad.” Then list them.
Invite your spirit guides to heal and guide you during sleep.
Ask a question before going to bed, and see what answer comes in your dreams or in the morning. This is a powerful way of accessing your subconscious.
Say a prayer at your altar , inviting higher wisdom in.

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Sleep is an opportunity to reclaim the spiritual being you truly are.

 

Sources for this article:

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2015/08/13/5-natural-sleep-aid-tips.aspx

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/sleep-studies/

http://www.oprah.com/health_wellness/Arianna-Huffington-Says-Sleep-Can-Fix-Your-Life

http://time.com/4269916/arianna-huffington-better-nights-sleep/

https://sleepfoundation.org/how-sleep-works/how-much-sleep-do-we-really-need

The Truth About Cancer can save your life!

I’ve recently watched a documentary series that is brilliant – and can save your life. It’s called The Truth About Cancer.

In it, medical doctors and scientists present well-researched studies about the numerous holistic therapies that have successfully treated cancer – with or without chemotherapy.

We all have friends or family members who have succumbed to this disease. In fact, 21,000 people around the world die from cancer each day.

Why not get educated on the many alternative therapies that work and do not destroy the immune system the way chemotherapy does?

Or that can support the immune system while undergoing chemotherapy?

Did you know that cancer cells feed on sugar? Yet many cancer centers have bowls of candy available for their patients to eat. And oncologists rarely tell their patients to avoid sugar. How is that taking care of our health?

In this day and age we need to be informed and curious. The Truth About Cancer documentary series is a great place to start.

Starting April 12, this 9-part documentary series can be watched for free online.

It features a global network of scientists, alternative medicine experts and cancer survivors who have made it their mission to educate the public. There is no reason for successful treatment alternatives to be a secret any more!

The information in this series could literally save the life of you or your loved ones. I hope you will take the time to watch the full 9-part series. Even just one episode can be life-changing.

To your health!

Molly

Click here to watch the trailer

 

 

How to survive the loss of a loved one

Last month, one of my dearest friends died unexpectedly of a brain aneurism. Dealing with her death has been a roller coaster of emotions and a powerful lesson in how to survive the loss of a loved one.

I felt it would be worth sharing.

First, shock

I got a phone call on a Thursday afternoon that my friend Emmy had collapsed and was taken by ambulance to the nearest hospital.

When I got the call, I drove immediately to the hospital, expecting to find Emmy sitting up in bed and that we would laugh at the false alarm surrounding her health.

What I found was something entirely different.

A team of doctors and nurses were surrounding her bed in the ER and I was asked to wait outside. Soon a nurse came out and explained that her family had been contacted and she was in serious condition; she also asked if I knew whether Emmy had a DNR [“do not resuscitate”] order.

“DNR?” I thought. “Why are they asking about a DNR? She’s going to be fine.” Denial, shock and disbelief will do that to you.

After all, she’d been in good health; we’d been skiing together just a few says before; we were planning to go skiing again the next day.

As more friends and family members gathered, the doctors were very kind and patient in explaining, over and over, what her condition was.

It took several explanations for the terrible news to sink in: she’d had massive trauma to her brain and wouldn’t recover. She was being kept alive by machinery until all of her family could arrive and make a decision on letting her go.

Her family arrived by the next day and the decision was made to take her off life support and, as she was an organ donor, let the hospital start harvesting her organs.

I learned later that, as an organ donor, she may have helped over 100 people. I’d never given thought before that to becoming an organ donor, but I am one now.

Next, grief

After the shock, the grief sets in.

I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to go skiing again, because that was something Emmy and I did together, laughing all day long. I didn’t have to make that decision for a few weeks, because the weather was not conducive to skiing.

Then I managed to put the sad thoughts behind me. I didn’t see, or talk to, Emmy every day. So I imagined each day as one of those days in between our outings when we had no contact. That worked for awhile in keeping the grief at bay.

I got back to my daily routine, put on a brave face, and didn’t dwell on loss.

I thought I was doing fine, especially when I received a visit from a hawk that I knew was sent by Emmy.

Then, the mystical

Emmy had a deeply spiritual relationship with the hawk nation. All her friends knew it, and when anyone found a dead hawk, they would call her.

Trained as a scientist, Emmy kept a notebook of hawk sitings, whether they were dead or alive. If they were dead, she’d record details such as their measurements before giving the hawk a respectful burial.

One morning four years ago, I glanced out the living room window and saw a dead hawk lying on the front porch. Not a mark on it, so I assume it broke it’s neck flying into my picture window. [An all too common occurance here in the country].

I immediately called Emmy, who came and measured it, before we removed the wings for use as blessing fans, then we buried the hawk with prayer.

Four days after Emmy’s memorial service, I walked into my living room and saw a Cooper’s hawk sitting on my porch railing, looking in at me. I knew it was sent by Emmy.

In ten years living here, I’ve never seen a hawk sitting anywhere near my house. The porch railing, directly above where we’d found the dead hawk years before, seemed a deliberate visitation.

It lifted my spirits just a bit, and reminded me to keep my eyes open for other messengers letting me know she was doing fine on the other side.

A day of reckoning

Emmy and I had season passes to the local ski resort, where we shared a locker.

This past winter had not been good for skiing. Many weeks it was either too warm to ski [soft, melting snow] or much too cold and icy [o.k, I admit it, I’m a winter wimp].

But a few weeks after her death, the weather predicted a sunny day with temperatures in the mid-20s. Perfect ski weather. So I planned that as the day to get in the last skiing of the season, and empty our locker.

The day dawned, beautiful and sunny, and I couldn’t get out of bed. Deep sadness filled me. How could I possibly go skiiing without Emmy? She was what made it such fun.

But I knew I had to get our skiis out of the locker, so I drove over with the intention that I wouldn’t ski, just empty the locker. I was so sad I called a friend to comiserate with on the drive over.

But when I arrived, a different feeling came over me. The sun was shining [a rare winter occurance in western Michigan] and the slopes were almost empty on this weekday – ideal skiing conditions.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I had the overwhelming feeling that Emmy would want me to go skiing. So I did.

And I felt her spirit with me. She was technically a better skiier than I was, and I had always welcomed her tips on how I could improve. While I skiied that day, I remembered and industriously tried to follow all the skiing advice she’d given me over the years.

And you know what? I skiied the best I’ve ever skiied.

Our loved ones are never far away, if we call on them. And they’re happy to help us out. It’s sort of like they transform from human to guardian angel. My skiiing experience really brought that home for me.

how to survive the loss of a loved one

Let yourself cry, grieve and be angry. Once you’re over that, it’s easier to let in the good memories. Native Americans teach that human beings are born with two natural medicines: one is their laughter, the other is their tears. Don’t be afraid to use them.
Remember the good times; reminisce and laugh with friends about the departed. It will keep their spirit alive in your heart.
Look for signs from the spirit world that your loved one is surrounding you and sending love. If there is a type of animal they had a particular affinity with, or a plant or flower, keep your eyes open for sightings to remind you of them.
Do things they enjoyed doing: toast them, order a dish they would have loved.
Get together with mutual friends and celebrate their life.
Express gratitude for the gifts they brought to your life.
What were their best qualities? Honor them by embracing those qualities into your own life.
Embrace the Native perspective that death is a natural part of life. It is not feared in indigenous societies. There is a teaching that death is not the opposite of life – it is the opposite of birth. Embrace that. It’s only us survivors who grieve because we miss our loved one, yet our loved ones have gone on to a beautiful afterlife.

Some cultures keep the departed close to their heart by celebrating them at certain times of the year. This is what the Mexicans do in their Day of the Dead Celebration. Celebrate that your loved one has gone on to the next life and will be there to welcome you when it’s your turn.

The sooner we come to understand that it’s a natural journey, the easier it will be for us to accept.

“There is no death, only a change of worlds.” Chief Seattle

I encourage you to try and come to view death as illustrated by this beautiful prayer written by Mary Elizabeth Frye in 1932. It perfectly reflects the Native American view of death:

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep

[by Mary Elizabeth Frye]

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet white doves in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there, I did not die.

What is the difference between a healing and a cure?

Did you know there’s a difference between a healing and a cure? And that understanding that can make a big difference in your health?

I address this and several other topics on health and spirituality in my 30-minute March 10 radio interview on the Hidden Wisdom radio show, hosted by Pandora Peoples.

Listen in and learn about:

how I began my spiritual journey
my apprenticeship to Muskogee Creek medicine man Bear Heart
breath work for health
Native American ceremony
how to release trauma

Here’s the link to the podcast: HIDDEN WISDOM WITH MOLLY LARKIN

I hope you enjoy it!

Questions? ask them in the comments section below; I always respond!