Mike Jastrzebski's Blog, page 59
July 20, 2012
Comcast Cares? Oh yeah? or the power of social media . . .
by Christine Kling
Okay, here is fair warning. I am going to rant. Not just a little rant either, because if you know me at all, you know that I am a writer/Internet junkie who gets very cranky when I don’t get my wifi. I am going to tell you the story of how I came to don snorkel and fins in my quest for a connection and finally found my Nirvana bandwidth through Twitter.
This sordid tale began when I returned from the Bahamas and docked at Cooley’s Landing, the city marina in downtown Fort Lauderdale. When I raised my wifi booster antenna from Land and Sea wifi, I found a decent signal for the marina’s wifi. But when the antenna connected with the same password from two years ago, I suspected trouble. From that point on, I had a helluva time getting my rig to pull in an IP address, which I reckoned meant that the system had a limited number of addresses and half of downtown Lauderdale now knew the password and was trying to log on to this one slim connection.
I decided that my only recourse was to buy my own Internet connection and since we had bulk cable offered to us through the marina, I called Comcast. That was day 1. When I finally made it through voicemail hell, the gentleman on the other end of the line told me that there was already an activated Internet account at my address at Cooley’s Landing, slip #6. So I did what any cruiser would do, right? The next morning I trundled off to buy a cable modem to see if this was true.
And of course, it was not true.
It turned out that some other boat docked a quarter of a mile downriver and on the other side had recently signed up for Internet with Comcast and for some unknown reason, he had given my slip number in this marina. In fact I remembered receiving a package addressed to him via UPS and I had carried the big box from Comcast up to the office to make sure he got it. Now I think I should have chucked it into the river.
When I called back, the Comcast guy said that he would call the other individual and try to get the address straightened out, but when he finally returned to the line, he said the other guy insisted that his address was correct.
So on day 2 of my efforts, I called Comcast and after waiting forever on hold, I finally reached a different human who, after I repeated the story again, told me that I would need to fax proof that this was my address. So I called the marina office and had the harbor master do this and After hours on the phone and waiting for call backs that never happened, that day, a Friday, ended with the hope it would be straightened out by Monday.
After a frustrating weekend of no Internet, I called on Monday, Day 5, and the fellow I had been dealing with was out for the day and there was no evidence of my fax. I was back to square one with Comcast.
So, I decided to take a more direct route. Boaters are great people, right? We are a community and we support one another. Surely a cruiser would help another cruiser. I walked across the bridge and down the river to find the fellow on the catamaran who claimed he was in my slip. When I knocked on his boat and explained the problem, and all he would need to do is call the Marina Office and ask them to fax his correct address to Comcast, he furrowed his brow and started mumbling about how it wasn’t his fault, and it wasn’t his problem. I realized I had run into that rare beast – a selfish cruiser with the “I got mine so screw you” philosophy. I tried to explain to him that I was going to prevail and prove that I was at that address and I was trying to let him know this in advance so that his Internet wouldn’t just get disconnected, but clearly, he didn’t want to listen.
So, after hiking back to my boat, I took my receipt for my month’s rent and drove to the Comcast offices. When I finally made it to the head of the line, the fellow told me the current resident of slip #6 had called Comcast and warned them that some woman was trying to get his Internet cut off. Even though I was showing them proof that I resided there, they would have to investigate his claim first.
On Tuesday, Day 6, the Comcast people told me they had called the catamaran guy and the fellow was belligerent and insisting that he didn’t know what his address was. So, I drove to the downtown marina offices and talked to the Harbormaster who agreed to talk to Comcast and help me fix the address problem for the boater who refused to help. I called Comcast and put them in touch with the office and started the process of getting the other guy’s correct address entered into the Comcast computers for him.
On Wednesday, Day 7, they told me that the other gentleman was adamant that they should not disconnect his Internet and his correct address was still not showing up in the system because no one had ever ordered Internet from there before, so they could not activate me. At this point I said, “Wait, I’ve done nothing wrong, but this other guy who gave the wrong address is not going to suffer at all, while I’ve been struggling with you guys for a week to correct his mistake?” Finally, after nearly 45 minutes on hold, the fellow came back and said my account was activated and he would connect me. Whether that meant he cut off the catamaran or whether they were finally able to change the other guy’s address in the computer, I don’t know. But then, he couldn’t get connected to my modem, so he put in an order for a service technician to come out the next morning. Frustrated and fuming, I grabbed my iPad and opened Twitter. I began to tweet about my woes with Comcast. I found a twitter handle @ComcastCares and I let fly.
@comcastcares If you care so much, why has it been a week that I’ve been trying to get Internet & I still don’t have it?
On Thursday, Day 8, the tech showed up around 10:00 a.m. and after working for an hour, he announced that the new (Comcast brand) modem I had bought was defective, and I would have to return it to the store. I had to laugh because I just didn’t think this could get any worse, but then the tech climbed off my boat and dropped his very fancy high-tech Comcast phone into the river. He was a nice enough young man and he looked so distraught. He asked if I had a net or some way to retrieve it. No net, but I went below, donned my swim suit, put on my fins and mask and snorkel and jumped into the water. After 5 minutes of searching in the dark, silty, zero visibility water and running my hand over the bottom, I found the phone. It was still buzzing, but clearly done for.
So, I rinsed the river water off and drove to the store to return the modem. En route, my phone rang and it was an automated call from Comcast asking me if I would like to complete a survey on the quality of the service call to my home. Boy, I thought, do they have a selection for a tech who can’t fix your problem but tries to see if his company phone can swim? The recording said, “Press 2 if you are willing to complete the survey.” I pressed 2. Then it said, “Press 2 if you are willing to complete the survey.” I pressed 2 again. I went through this five times and then it disconnected me. That was a turning point for me. Comcast was so inept, they couldn’t even get their friggin’ survey to work properly.
I returned to the boat with my new modem, got it all hooked up and started through the self-install process and of course — it didn’t work. Of course, by now I had 1-800-COMCAST on speed dial. It’s hot in Florida in July, but as I sat there on hold, I was fuming. How can this company survive, I asked myself as the recording kept repeating, “Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line.” Then after 32 minutes on hold, they disconnected me.
This time, I picked up the iPad again and after finding my way back into the call queue on hold, I tweeted some more. I was answered by @ComcastWill, who it turns out carries the title Digital Media Outreach and works out of One Comcast Center in Philadelphia. He sent me his email address and I sent him my account number and an iPad photo of the serial# and Mac address on the side of the box. Badaboom – he had me up and running before the local call center ever picked up my call. When I thanked Will and disconnected my phone, I’d been on hold for more than 47 minutes – the second time around.
So what did I learn from this adventure? I learned about the power of Twitter and social media. Sure, as an author I have a louder voice than some people because of my platform, so when I tweet and blog about a company’s incompetence, more people will read it. But companies like Comcast have recognized the power of social media and I think they are listening intently to what is said about them on the web. Fortunately, Comcast has put some very bright and competent people in charge of managing their virtual presence. Unfortunately, until they get the troops on the ground better trained and more able to troubleshoot beyond the scripts they’ve learned, the best bet for customer service all of us today is online through Twitter. The moral of the story is if you are not on Twitter, you might consider joining up so the next time you need to fight a corporate giant, you won’t lose all the hours of valuable time that I lost this past week.
Fair winds!
Christine
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July 19, 2012
Scandalized in Atlantic City…
C.E. Grundler
Over the years I’ve acquired a few vintage postcards from New Jersey; they’re charming time capsules both visually and by the amusing little messages they share. This is easily one of my favorites,with two graceful gaff-rigged sloops under sail and three more waiting scandalized at the dock.
Scandalized? Did they do something immoral or shocking? Absolutely not. But reducing sail area of by lowering the gaff or raising the boom is known as scandalizing. As I understand it the expression originated from the term ‘scantelize’, from scantle or ‘make small’. See? You never know what you might learn here at Write On The Water.
The other amusing detail on this card is the message. Look close and you can read, “My dear little boy – I hope you are being a very good boy and having a nice time. Be good to Mildred – Mother”
It sounds to me like mom got away for a few days and left Junior at home.
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July 17, 2012
Sailing – The Job Creation Engine
As a class of people, sailors are under-appreciated. I say this with no evidence to back up the claim, but pretty much everyone feels under-appreciated, so, at a minimum, sailors must qualify as a sub-category.
The super-rich are under-appreciated, too. I say this with even greater confidence since we have all heard the resentment lodged against billionaires, especially those who bank in Bermuda or the Caymans despite the higher ATM charges.
I figure that if you combine the above two statements it becomes obvious that billionaire sailors are hugely under-appreciated. (And I am not simply pandering to the billionaire sailors who read writeonthewater.com.) I would even venture to say that no one sailor is more slighted than is Larry Ellison, CEO of Oracle and leader of the Team Oracle America’s Cup syndicate. I, in my humble way, hope to right this wrong.
Earlier this month, I had the opportunity to watch the AC/America’s Cup series take place in Newport, Rhode Island. Newport is no stranger to excess, but the arrival of the America’s Cup put it in high gear. As a lover of boats, it was a hoot to watch these high-speed catamarans scream around at speeds up to 30 miles per hour – think NASCAR with a dose of Moet and Grey Poupon. But it’s the economics of it all that impressed me the most. Despite your politics, we all know that we need more job creation. What I want to tell you all is that I have now seen the light when it comes to the wealthy and job creation. Ponder this:
There we were, sitting in Narragansett Bay in a 22-foot runabout when my wife said, “Something smells fishy.” Given that I am a lifelong angler, my first thought was that a school of mackerel or herring must have passed below. Yet this fish smell was more sweet that oily, more grilled than raw. “I think it’s coming from that boat,” Sally said.
The boat in question was a 150+ foot yacht, the scent now more detectable as swordfish. We were downwind of a floating feast. Now, before envy or jealousy take over, consider the economics. Stop and think of the commercial swordfishing crew who owe their jobs to these party goers. Think of the factory workers who bottled the massive amounts of mayonnaise required to marinate the meal. And don’t forget the garbage haulers whose jobs are tied getting rid of the enormous amounts of wasted food. We’re talking jobs, baby. Wages. Employment. And that’s just one yacht!
As I looked across the harbor I began to think about these mega-yachts and the jobs created by these captains of industry. Why, then, would anyone even think about taxing the wealthy at the same proportion as others when their income can be expensed on creating all of these maritime jobs. Just imagine how many gallons of bottom paint it takes to cover the belly of a Feadship. Painting those hulls means jobs. And stop and think about how many containers of wax it takes to keep one of those Browards clean. And we’re not even getting to the Larry Ellison Category.
It is my belief that if everyone in the country headed to the next round of the America’s Cup we might just end the political debate about the wealthy and job creation. The facts would be right there in front of everyone. Plus, we’d all get to see some really cool sailing.
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July 16, 2012
Celebrate Hemingway Days
If you are planning to visit the Florida Keys this week for the annual Hemingway Days celebration, please come by the Wyland Gallery on Duval Street Wednesday, 8 pm, where I will join two other local writers for a reading of our works and of Hemingway’s To Have and Have Not.
I will be reading from Car Wash Blues that will become available in late August. George Murphy, a local actor and performer, will read a selection from Hemingway’s novel and David Sloan will read, but I’m not sure from what.
Sloan has a few books out, non-fiction, like Quit Your Job and Move to Key West.
It appears it will be a well-rounded evening, with the eclectic trio. I hope you can come by.
Of course, a lot of you will be at Sloppy Joe’s watching, and some entering, the Hemingway Look-a-like contest.
Well, it’s a fun-filled few days, but our event is the only literary event, the rest has to do with partying like papa. If you don’t see me at the reading, look for me at Sloppy’s.
If you care, Hemingway would’ve been 113 years old this month. But he had a date with a shotgun shell on July 2, 1961, so he didn’t make his birthday party. Imagine the stories that he blew away that day.
If you are interested in knowing more about the author, check out Michael Reynolds’s five-volume series of bios. They are the best, especially The Final Years. Today they’d lock up doctors for what they prescribed Hemingway. Check it out, it makes for good reading.
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July 15, 2012
Monday, July 16th is sell books for Steve Day!
By Mike Jastrzebski
On Friday Christine mentioned this event in her blog and I would like to bring it up again. Steve Brown, author of The Complete Idiots Guide to Private Investigating has spent the past two years receiving chemotherapy for Leukemia and he has recently entered a Bone Marrow Transplant program at Shands Cancer Hospital. As you can imagine the costs are horrendous.
Sixteen writers, including Christine and myself, have signed up for this one day event and have agreed to donate a portion of our book sales to help cover Steve’s mounting medical costs.
How can you help? Go to Steve’s Blog, www.handcuffedtotheocean.com and purchase one of the books listed. Remember, for your purchase to count toward Steve’s medical fund you must buy the books on Monday, July 16th.
If you don’t have a Kindle or if you don’t want to buy a book you can still donate to the fund through PayPal at www.handcuffedtotheocean.com.
You can help to spread the word by sharing this blog on facebook; just click the link at the bottom of this post.
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July 13, 2012
Timing is everything
by Christine Kling
When I was returning from the Bahamas last week, the day I traveled from Great Sale Cay to West End, there was absolutely no wind. I was headed for the Indian Cay cut and because I didn’t want to pass through at low tide – which was half a foot below mean low tide – Barney and I were having to putz along motoring at about 3 knots to allow the tide to rise a bit before I passed through the shallowest parts. And because I am a writer, all that slow going in a windless world where I could see the bottom of the sea struck me as a metaphor for my life.
Being in the right place at the right time is not always a matter of luck. It takes hard work and planning. I stuffed my son into the quarter berth of my boat and two weeks later I flew him home from the Abacos for an interview for a job he landed – full time and with benefits. It’s not the food blogger job he applied for, but it is one of the dozens of places he sent a resume to. I couldn’t be happier for him.
I brought my dear new puppy Barney home to my vet and learned he does indeed have a juvenile cataract in his left eye. The vet doesn’t think it was caused by anything other than nature in spite of the fact it came on in 48 hours, but the good news is it can be fixed and thanks to healthy book sales, I will be able to afford to do it.
And finally, I returned home just in time to be able to take part in a great joint effort by several writers who are helping out a good friend and fellow sailor, Steve Brown, who is going through a very expensive bone marrow transplant to battle leukemia. Steve is a real life P.I., the author of The Complete Idiots Guide to Private Investigating, and a member of the Florida Chapter of the Mystery Writers of America. In addition, Steve is the former owner of the sailing vessel Liahona which is now the home of my good friends Mark and Willie Haskins who are full-time cruisers currently located in Trinidad. I spent several days enjoying their wonderful hospitality aboard Liahona last November at the end of the Caribbean 1500. Steve has been writing about his bone marrow transplant experience on his blog, Handcuffed to the Ocean.
On Monday, July 16th, I and several authors will be donating a portion of the proceeds of our book sales to the Steve Brown Bone Marrow Transplant Fund, thanks to the organizational abilities of Steve’s friend and fellow blogger, Jeffrey “Hammerhead” Philips. Jeffrey has set up links to all the offered books here on their blog: http://handcuffedtotheocean.com/
The important thing to remember, though, is that timing is everything with this fund raising effort. If you would like to take part, you must do it on Monday. Maybe you could set yourself a reminder right now. There are some terrific books offered and you will be helping out another one of us who loves to write on the water.
Fair winds!
Christine
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July 12, 2012
Guest Blogger — Captain/EMT Diana McCune
C.E. Grundler
It’s been some time since Christine Kling invited me to guest post here on Write On The Water, and that opportunity is something I’ve always appreciated. Recently I’ve begun corresponding with another boater/writer, and I’m fascinated by the experiences she has and the stories that accompany them. Captain/EMT Diana McCune is one third of Poseidon Marine Towing and Salvage, an all-woman TowBoatUS operation out of Tavernier, Florida. The company was founded by her mother-in-law, Barrie McCune, and father-in-law, Don McCune, and they operated independently for a few years before joining TowBoatUS in 1988; ten years later Diana and her husband Lee joined the family business. Sadly, in 2007 Don passed away, followed by Lee in 2010. Diana and her mother-in-law continue to operate the business and have been joined by another Captain, Debbie LaPointe. They have a diver, Jerry Sanders, on call as well. A quick visit to their Facebook Page offers a fascinating glimpse into their day-to-day operations, including some photos that look like they came straight out of SeaWorthy, BoatUS’s publication.
While Diana has some other writing in the works, I felt that the readers at Write On The Water would love to hear her insights into the experiences of a tow boat captain, in this case, on what to do and what not to do when your draft exceeds the water’s depth in her neck of the waters.
Grounding in the Keys – Capt. Diana McCune
Summer time has many boaters traveling to areas that they may never have been before, exploring new ports. Here in the Florida Keys with our Coral Reefs and Shipwreck’s for diving we draw a large amount of boaters each summer. Our Island lifestyle has an appeal to many boaters. With this Island Style also comes our very sensitive ecosystem. With one item damaged in this system chain the whole thing begins to collapse. When a boat hits our reefs by running aground or dropping anchor where they shouldn’t, it damages this environment, starting a chain of events that is hard to reverse. This is just the Ocean side of our ecosystem. On the Bayside we have many shallow areas and we have the Everglades. These areas have Turtle Grass that is important to our ecosystem, it is where crabs, lobsters, and baby fish feed and hide. If this is damaged it takes years to regrow and in some places it never grows back. All throughout the Florida Keys there are National Parks. Everywhere you go by boat you are in a National Park. Each of these Parks has different rules whether for boaters or for when you’re on land. If you find as a boater you happen to run aground in one of these parks, (remember ALL of the Florida Keys are a National Marine Sanctuary, just a matter of whose Park you’re in.) These are some helpful tips to keep you from getting into a lot of trouble with the Rangers or Law Enforcement.
If you’re a power boater and you run your vessel aground the first thing you need to do is, turn off your motor. DO NOT try and power out. Not only will this keep you from damaging your motor if will also keep you from doing more damage to the ecosystem. When you try and power out you end up blowing a hole in the bottom of the Bay or Ocean floor destroying the ecosystem. Now for the person or Marine Assistance Company that comes out to rescue you be it TowBoatUS or Sea Tow (these are the local Companies). When you blow a hole under a larger vessel you have just created a hole that your vessel will sit in, there for making it harder for them to pull you out. They can still do it. We have done it many times. I am a Captain/ Co-Owner of TowBoatUS Islamorada. We have seen many cases where this has been an issue. People just keep powering out trying to get out and end up sucking up mud and eventually heating up the engines until they blow them. So the best thing to do is shut the engines off and call for assistance from whichever company you have coverage with. They will ask for location and advise you that you are in a such and such park and do not power out. They will in most cases have to notify the Rangers for that Park or Law Enforcement for other locations depending on where you are located. These are the rules we have to follow them in order to be able to conduct business here.
For the sail boater that finds himself in the same situation you have the luxury of trying to first use your sails to get out. With most sailboats your keel stops you before you get too far in. Although with summer storms suddenly popping up there have been a few occasions where we have found a sailboat up hard aground and sometimes on her side. Turn off engines and generators and call for Marine Assistance. As with the power boater a Ranger or Law Enforcement will have to be called.
The second rule is when the officer arrives on scene, tell the truth. They are trained to see the damages that have been done. The scars that props and Keels make in ecosystem are long lasting and they can see the way you ran aground. It doesn’t help to lie and they are far easier on you if you tell the truth.
I hope this helps you on your travels to our Paradise. We in the Marine Assistance are here to help you enjoy your time here. If you need help in anyway feel free to call your local company that you are signed up with. We all listen up on Ch. 16 on our VHF’s or you can give us call by phone. We have all the local knowledge and can point you in the right direction for a mechanic or place to moor up for the night.
I hope to see you on the water as you drive by of course, not as a customer. Be safe out there.
Capt. Diana McCune
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July 9, 2012
Cape Canaveral
By Mike Jastrzebski
We are curently docked at the Harbortown Marina on Merritt Island near Cape Canaveral, Florida. Dockage is about $300.00 dollars a month less than we were paying in Fort Lauderdale, the staff is friendly, lots of liveaboards, a dog run for Belle, a pool, and beautiful surroundings.
We arrived around 9:00 am on the 4th after a 26 hour, 154 mile crossing from Great Sale Cay. The Gulf Stream was realatively calm and we were able to sail a good deal of the way across.
Our initial plans were to stop at Cape Canaveral for a couple of days to rejuvinate ourselves after the all night crossing, then continue on to St. Augustine where we planned to settle in for 5 or 6 months to work on the next Wes Darling book, set in the Abacos and tentatively titled Junkanoo Blues.
We have now decided to spend at least a month here and today I start working seriously on the book. If all goes well I hope to have the book available by the first of the year, so I hope you’ll keep an eye out for it.
As for cruising, we plan to take off again for the Bahamas in December or January. Until then I’ll be writing Monday-Friday every week and working on the boat on the weekends with the intention of being ready to leave on schedule this time.
July 5, 2012
Imagination vs. Reality
Fort Lauderdale fireworks barge
by Christine Kling
Yesterday was a long day for Barney and me, and thanks to the new autopilot belt my friends Pam and Dave had sent over via Fed Ex, I didn’t have to steer at all. That left me with plenty of time to play with Barney, pet him and hold him on my lap. However, playing with a dog is not exactly mentally taxing, so I was left with plenty of time to do what I do best: daydream.
I left West End on Grand Bahama Island at 6:00 a.m., and I arrived at the mooring field here in Fort Lauderdale around midnight. From the time I was a little kid, I have always made up stories to pass the time while sailing (or motor-sailing, as was my case). My chart plotter (aka iPad with iNavX) was giving me an ETA of 9:45 p.m. on the 4th of July off the entrance buoy, and I was making up stories about how lovely it would be to come sailing home to the rocket’s red glare.
The difference between my little imaginary scene and the real situation was vast.
When I was about 11 miles off the coast, I saw the first tips of the buildings of the Fort Lauderdale coastline. The sun set around 8:15 when I was still just over 7 miles out. It was about that time that I saw the black squall on the horizon. Since my mainsail is tissue-paper-thin, I decided to bring in all sail, but with the 2-3 foot swell, I began to roll my guts out. And worse yet, the 30 minutes or so that I had spent turned upwind had cost me about 5 miles in the good made against the current, so I was now making only 2.5 knots over the ground as I was heading directly into the full force of the Gulf Stream. Down below, it sounded like the bottles in my condiment locker were turning themselves into gooey glass shards, as we rocked and rolled. It only rained long enough to soak everything in the cockpit, but the plastic glass in my dodger was covered with tiny droplets of water that reflected every coastal light.
Does this face look the face of a bad dog?
Meanwhile, with darkness closing in and me having to concentrate on driving the boat, I became afraid that the dog would distract me or go overboard, so I hustled him down below and zipped him into his canvas crate. That was when the howling, shrieking, barking and whining made me think I had the devil dog down there who was the progeny of a Banshee and the girl from the Exorcist movie. About that time, I asked myself a simple question. Why do I put myself through this?
Then all of a sudden, the firing began. I must have been seeing the municipal fireworks displays from about 20 different cities and all the lights were bouncing among the water droplets on my dodger window so I couldn’t see a blasted thing in the pitch black night, as I dashed along at about 6 knots in the darkness (through the water, not over the ground). This beautiful display of fireworks that I had dreamed about all morning, had turned into a nightmare.
Then from out of the morass, I made out what looked like it might be two dim little white lights and some red and green directly behind me. I hustled below to check out the AIS on my radio, and my boat looked like it was surrounded by dozens of targets. The one behind me was a 600+ foot container ship about 1/2 a mile off. I called him on the radio to ask if he was turning into Port Everglades, and when he said no, he agreed to change course and allow me to turn to enter the port. I think I heard a chuckle in his voice in response to the pure terror in mine.
When I was finally about one mile off the harbor entrance, blue flashing lights surrounded the entrance buoys and I saw that the tug towing the fireworks barge was passing back into the port and the police had set up a perimeter around the barge. The tug towing the thing moved at about 2.5 knots and it took the thing forever to make its way into the port with me crawling along behind at the requisite distance off.
I finally made it inside and turned north on the ICW to head for the city mooring field, and to add insult to injury, they repositioned the towing of the barge and came up and passed me again, causing me to have to pull over off Bahia Mar, then when I picked up my mooring, I saw the damned barge tied up less than 1000 yards off on the other side of the ICW.
The punchline about the barge came the next morning when a squall came through and some thunder and lightning started. You should have seen the guys run off that barge when the first boomer hit close by. I gather there was still enough powder on there to be of concern to them – ahem, and me.
So the next time you are imagining what it must be like to be able to go sailing like me, having this wonderful time gently sailing back from the Bahamas on a warm tropical night – remind yourself to make the date anything BUT the Fourth of July.
Ain’t yachting fun?
Fair winds!
Christine
(Just a note about my first novel (and first in a four book series) SURFACE TENSION. It is available as a free ebook today and tomorrow on Amazon.
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According to plan…
C.E. Grundler
I’m ever amazed by the ways stories can mold characters, and characters can mold stories, and if, rather than fighting what is taking shape on the page you simply go with it, you may find yourself with unexpected and surprising results. And one of the finest examples of this writing zen comes from one of my favorite authors, Donald Westlake.
Westlake was a prolific writer, turning out a wide range of titles and writing under many names, including Richard Stark. Through Stark, he wrote a series of gritty, hard-boiled capers featuring a character known only as Parker. Parker was a tough, remorseless, no-nonsense guy, and according to Westlake, one of the books he was working on, The Hot Rock, involved a heist gone wrong again and again, forcing Parker to again and again re-steal the same gem. It was turning into a comedy of errors, too funny, a laugh-out-loud chain of mishaps… and that wasn’t Parker’s style. In fact, the more Westlake tried, the more the plot and character refused to work together, until he eventually stuffed the entire manuscript in a drawer and moved on to other projects. Yet the story still called to him. It still begged to be written, and it led Westlake to create the equally determined yet far less successful John Dortmunder, a hang-dog, pessimistic fellow who is so used to things going wrong that he’s wary when they don’t. It’s not that Dortmunder isn’t a criminal mastermind – his plots are brilliant, his execution perfectly thought out and timed – it’s just that Dortmunder has the worst luck and nothing he comes up with ever goes as planned. And with Dortmunder and his cast of colorful cohorts, Westlake went on to write an acclaimed series of exceptionally funny and entertaining capers, which goes to show that even when things don’t go as planned, that might be just what you want.
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