Mike Jastrzebski's Blog, page 31
November 25, 2013
Songwriter Envy
by John Urban
People frequently ask me to describe the level difficulty experienced in writing a book. Often, I tell them to think of this challenge in terms of keeping someone’s attention for a continuous span of 12 to 14 hours. Getting someone’s immediate attention is one thing, keeping that interest from page 1 to page 300 is many times more difficult – a fact well known to readers, if less so to authors.
In that respect, I envy songwriters. How I would love to focus on a writing genre that requires an audience attention span of 3-5 minutes.
There is, however, something very different about songs. We might read our favorite stories a second, or sometimes even a third, time. Yet, in the case of music, we’re quite pleased to listen to a good song again and again and again.
Science might provide an explanation. Neuro-scientists talk about the brain anticipating the next note, then finding satisfaction when we guess the right beat. If you listen to the song Southern Cross a few times, you may well get a sense of what these neuro-scientists are talking about.
Then again, let’s drop the science and just focus on the story. For example, listen to the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. How is it that Gordon Lightfoot was able to collapse a novel-length tale into one song?
Or Jimmy Buffett’s Son of a Son of a Sailor. After thirty-plus years this song still rings true today for many of us who call the water our home. (Although given the time that has passed we might add another generation to the title – maybe even add some gender equity with “Daughter of A Son of A Son of A Sailor.”)
Sailing by Christopher Cross? It’s easy to criticize this song as being too pop, too 70’s. But if you love sailing and enjoy being on the water, you’ll find Sailing a valuable substitute for those days when you are stuck on land.
Yes, I envy these songwriters who need to capture their audience’s attention for only a matter of minutes. But I envy them even more in that they kept this short-term attention going for decades and decades.
I think I’ll just take a few listens to the music and enjoy. When you have the time, I hope you will, too.
Southern Cross – Crosby Stills & Nash
Gordon Lightfoot – Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
Son of a Son of a Sailor
Sailing – Christopher Cross
(with lyric subtitles in Spanish)
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November 24, 2013
The Incredible Shrinking Boat
By Mike Jastrzebski
Sometimes I feel as if I’m living in an old B sci-fi movie. The movie that comes to mind is a 1957 movie titled The Incredible Shrinking Man, only in my case the movie would be called The Incredible Shrinking Boat.
Rough Draft is a 36-foot Islander sailboat that my wife, Mary, and I bought twenty years ago and that we’ve been living and cruising on for 10 years. When we first started looking for a boat we were checking out 30-32 foot boats and Mary quickly decided that none of the boats we looked at had enough storage, so we moved up to the 36-38 foot range. When we found our Islander she seemed huge and we figured she had plenty of storage room.
Of course that was then and this is now. Since we bought the boat the storage area has slowly been dwindling and the boat itself seems to be shrinking. It started when we replaced the hot water heater.
The old heater was an odd size and was mounted above the engine so when the heater died and we replaced it, we had to find a new location. We decided on the back corner of the aft quarter berth and over the years have use the remainder of that berth for storage. But that space has continued to shrink.
Over the years we’ve added an inverter/charger, our Ham radio and a solar panel regulator to that space, and throughout the boat we have added other items that contribute to the feeling that the boat is closing in on us. I’m talking about things like six golf cart batteries, an extra water tank, a larger holding tank, solar panels, and just this past week our new water maker.
The water maker makes 20 gallons per hour, but the components are big. The high pressure pump weighs over 50 pounds and takes up nearly as much space as two golf cart batteries. Add in the 3-foot long 22 pound RO membrane and casing, a boost pump, pre-filters, carbon filter, instrument panel, hoses and valves, and it makes me wonder just how much smaller this boat can get.
Of course all of these add-ons allow us to spend longer periods of time at anchor rather than at a marina, and that’s the way we like to cruise.
So tell me. Am I the only one living on a boat who feels their boat is shrinking or are there others out there living in the same B movie that I live in.
Free Audio winners
The following blog readers will receive a free audio copy of Key Lime Blues: Dennis Adamson, Richard Norman, Ed Stoner, Cynthia Hudson, Judy Long and Stephen Sellinger.
If your name is listed I will be sending out e-mails in the next few days with instructions on how to download your free audio book along with a download code. If you do not receive an email by Friday please contact me at mike@mikejastrzebski.com.
I still have a few audio books left to give away and I will be giving them away on a first come first serve basis until they are gone. If you are interested in one of these audio copies of Key Lime Blues please contact me at the above email address.
November 22, 2013
November 21, 2013
The muses ate my homework…
C.E. Grundler
I was hoping by today I’d have ironed out something I was researching for a post, but no such luck. In fact, I’ve fallen down one of those infamous internet rabbit holes, and currently have over a dozen tabs open on my browser. Worse yet, each of those tabs leads me in several more directions, so as fast as I finish one article, I find I’ve opened three more. But my muses were having none of that. Right now they have a serious case of tunnel vision. They want to go to the madness and mayhem amusement park, and refuse to work with me on anything else. They weren’t cooperating yesterday or the day before – they knew Thursday was coming but showed zero mercy. No, they had murder on their collective minds, and were gleefully providing me with an abundance of ideas revolving around a corpse and a fifty gallon drum. As I’ve said before, they’re a twisted, delightfully warped bunch, and once they get on a roll, the ideas keep coming, meshing, creating more improbable twists and perverse situations. This is the part of writing I love, when the plot unfolds the way the characters dictate, even throwing me for a loop at times. It’s just that sometimes it comes at the most inconvenient times, but that’s muses for you. They delight in cooperating in the most uncooperative ways. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that you can’t argue with determined muses.
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November 18, 2013
Mystery Writers’ Key West Fest – Murder & Mayhem in Paradise
Back from my research trip to NY, I found myself with too much to do. Most important, I had to sign a deal with the DoubleTree Grand Key Resort for use of its main banquet room for the Mystery Writers’ Key West Fes – Murder & Mayhem in Paradise. It also included a block of rooms with a discount for the first people to sign up for the conference and room.
Through the first six or eight months of 2014, there are about 500 less hotel rooms on the island. For those of you familiar with Key West, you understand. For you that haven’t been here, let me offer a few examples. Most any hotel in Las Vegas has more rooms than all the hotels, motels, guesthouses in Key West. That also goes for most of the large hotels in Orlando.
The hotels are located at the Triangle. Again, for those not familiar with the island, that is where you enter Key West if you’re driving on US1. You go right, to Old Town and the city marina, left to the airport. While the demolished hotels were not big, they filled up in season and on weekends.
I bring this up because the deal with the hotel’s discounted rates for MWKWF is good through April booking. So, if you even think you’re interested in coming to the fest, book early. Some of the information is on our website, but it’s still a work in progress as we finalize the panels, panelists and luncheon speaker there will be updates.
A brief schedule, as we have talked it through, looks like this:
June 13, 2014,
2 – 5 pm, registration at the hotel for your room and/or fest.
5 – 6 pm, Don Bruns will lead Mike Dennis and Hal Howland in the Murder & Mayhem Band on the stage of the Smokin’ Tuna Saloon. Three talented writers and musicians.
6 – 8 pm, a meet and greet of the panelists and guests at the Tuna. The Mayor of Key West will read a proclamation making it Mystery Writers Weekend in Key West. Socializing too! Discounted drink specials.
8 – 10 pm, an author led tour of some of the island popular watering holes. We are working on getting attendees discounted drinks at these locations too.
June 14, 2014
8:30 – 10 a.m., Women in Mystery panel. The panel will run for about an hour and then for 30 minutes the panelists will sign their books.
10 – 11:30 a.m., The Importance of Locale. Again, the panel will be about an hour, with a 30 minutes scheduled book signing afterward.
11:30 a.m. – 1:30 pm, Buffet luncheon and guest speaker. A group book signing after lunch.
1:30 – 3 pm, Writing the Series, followed by book signing.
3 – 4:30 pm, ePublishing Today, followed by book signing.
4:30 – 5:30 pm, Crime in the Keys.
This panel will be made up of local law enforcement officials, including the county sheriff, an agent from Homeland Security (yes, we have a big, new building with DHS agents in Key West, just in case Cuba invades) an ex-Joint Inter-Agency Task Force agent (who also worked with the DEA), a writer who has three books out about true crime and criminals in the Keys.
During the day, attendees that have a completed manuscript can schedule appointments with an editor or ePublisher. Also, if you have tax questions, we will have an ex-IRS agent, turned writer, ready to offer tips on what you, as a writer, can write off and can’t write off. Could save you some trouble down the road.
After the panels, there’s going to be a sunset cruise aboard the Fury Catamaran, with one or two writers reading and discussing their works with the passengers. There will be an extra charge for this, but it will be discounted.
Also, there will be a noir movie at the local art cinema that will be free for attendees and a discussion of the movie afterward with Key West noir writer Mike Dennis.
All is subject to change of course, but we are looking to have local restaurants and bars offer discounts for drinks and dinner Saturday night. We are also approaching a few popular South Florida writers to see if anyone wants to do a Sunday morning brunch event. Too many people head to the Carolinas as summer approaches.
If this sounds like something you’d be interested in, please keep checking our website – www.mysterywriterskeywestfest.com – for updates, hotel codes for discounts and the registrations form. We’ll be updating the panelists’ names and attendee names too. If you are a published writer, we will offer your books for sale and include you in the group signing after lunch and after the final panel, even if you aren’t a panelist.
Early registration is $98 through April 1, after that the fee is $125.
Hope to see you there. If you have any questions, fell free to contact me.
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November 17, 2013
More free audio books and The Melbourne Gam
By Mike Jastrzebski
Free Key Lime Blues audio books
If you did not win one of the 10 audio books I gave away last month I am giving away 15 more audio copies of Key Lime Blues free. These books are distributed directly through Audible Books and all you have to do is send me an email by Saturday 11/23/2013 at mike@mikejastrzebski.com and I will enter you in the drawing. Doing so will place you on my mailing list but I do not spam. In fact, I have not yet put out my first newsletter and will not so until the next Wes Darling Mystery, Stranded Naked Blues, is available after the first of the year. I will post the audio book winners next Monday the 25th.
The SSCA Melbourne Gam
We spent the weekend at the Seven Seas Cruising Association’s Melbourne Gam. Above is a picture of the Cruise RO water maker we purchased for Rough Draft. In fact, this is the exact water maker since we bought the demo model that was on display at the gam. It was a new model and we were able to save $185.00 shipping plus they threw in a one year supply of filters and pickling agent. This unit runs off of our Honda 2000 generator and will produce 20 gallons of water an hour. Once I have it up and running I’ll post a review here on Write on the Water.
Also, after talking to the US distributors of COPPERCOAT bottom paint we decided to pay the extra money and cover the bottom of our boat with the product in January when we pull the boat for a bottom job. I was able to talk to a couple of fellow boaters who have used the product and they were very enthusiastic about it.
COPPERCOAT advertises that their bottom coat will last ten years with no barnacle growth and that some boats are going on close to twenty years with only minor touch up of the bottom coat. The cost at boat show pricing is $1000.00 for an Islander 36, but even if it means I only have to do a bottom job every 6-8 years I figure I’ll come out ahead. Unfortunately, I will not be able to do a review on this product for another year or more, but I will do a post in January about prepping the boat and applying the COPPERCOAT.
Overall, I found the Gam to be well run, engaging, and filled with useful information. This was our first Gam but I doubt it will be our last. We made some new friends and connected with some old friends, and after all, isn’t that one of the reasons many of us go cruising in the first place?
If you’re a cruiser or want-to-be cruiser and have never attended an SSCA Gam, I highly recommend that you do so.
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November 15, 2013
Bringing back the dead
by Christine Kling
Tonight I’m going to write about an old flame. We all know in our heads that life is not eternal, but in our hearts it’s a different story. When it comes to love, sometimes it’s hard to let go. What made him so special was the way he made me feel, the way he brought out emotions I’d never felt before. It was like he saw in me a creative side I never knew existed. When they told me he was too old, there was no chance, it was his brain that was gone, I could hardly believe it.
Surely, I said, there must be something you can do. Please -
No, the guy at the Genius Bar said, we no longer do logic board repairs on Macs that are more than five years old.
He was working fine right up until I hooked him up to the GPS in Green Turtle Cay last July and he acted a bit sluggish. Then in the middle of the Gulf Stream, he gasped his last gasp.
So, I brought him home from the Genius Bar and put him to rest under a towel in the quarter berth. I thought about donating some of his organs, but that laptop was the one I used for the five years I during which I lost my way, decided I couldn’t write anymore, then started Circle of Bones. That laptop changed my life. I couldn’t just throw him away. I thought, maybe next time I go sailing I’ll conduct a burial at sea?
Four months later, I finally found myself with a few extra moments of time, and I made my decision. I would try to raise the dead. It was time for surgery and some serious organ transplantation.
There were guts everywhere
I went to one of my favorite websites www.iFixit.com, and I ordered a new logic board and heat sink for about $350. Tonight I undertook the big repair. I cut up little sheets of paper and made piles of tiny screws on each numbered paper for each step of the process. I unplugged all the teenie tiny little wires for speakers, microphones, batteries and fan. It took me almost two hours.
When he was finally all put back together, it was time for the smoke test. I plugged it in, pushed the power button and heard that magic chime.
He’s back! My lovely little zombie Frankencomputer.
Fair winds!
Christine
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November 14, 2013
One Flew Over The Keyboard…
C.E. Grundler
The longer I write, the more I’ve come to conclude that this pursuit is something that suits those a bit –uhm—shall we say, off-kilter from main-stream humanity. I’m not saying all writers are crazy, or even most of ‘em. That’s not for me to say. And perhaps it’s a chicken/egg conundrum…does insanity lead to writing, or writing to insanity. That’s something we could debate at great length. But certain element s of writing fiction are un-debatable, and seem to go hand in hand with a certain degree of questionable mental reasoning. Let’s look at the facts.
We (okay, let me rephrase that. I. Me. I’ll speak for myself. If any of you see certain similar behaviors, or others I don’t touch upon, feel free to chime in) spend much of our time alone, in a semi-distracted state, mumbling to ourselves about imaginary people. Imaginary people that we create in our heads. But it’s not enough simply to create these characters. We create entire worlds for them. Lives, back-stories, likes, dislikes, quirks. We can even hear their voices in our heads, and the more real they become, the more they won’t shut up. We try to make them likeable, or at least relatable. Then we proceed to wreck their tidy little lives. They start off happy, but our goal is to make them suffer. It doesn’t matter whether they are the hero or villain – the worse off they are, the happier we are. We build worlds just to crush them. And furthermore, we destroy/kill them in the most creative ways possible. Spray-foam, anyone? Every time I hear something unspeakably awful, I get a gleam in my eyes that makes others uneasy, and a corner of my brain starts dancing with perverse delight – ‘Hmmm? Could I kill X that way?’ What does that say about me?
People wonder where we get our ideas. But as writers, it’s more a case of where DON’T we? Ideas are everywhere, bombarding our brains at every waking hour, and creeping through our dreams even as we try to sleep. Then we take those ideas, and build a world of lies around them. In most areas of polite society, lying is frowned upon. But as a fiction writer, it’s a vital talent. It’s critical to our survival. Truthfully, the truth doesn’t make for compelling stories, at least in my book. But fiction…what is fiction, really? It’s a writer telling a story completely made up of made-up stuff. And what is made-up stuff? It’s lies. Nothing but lies. And the better we tell them, the better our stories are for it.
We do things most sane people might question. For example, consider our dietary habits. I once went three weeks on mostly Cheez-Its. It wasn’t pretty. And don’t get me started with caffeine. Our work areas can be somewhat telling as well, and I’m not just talking the empty snack-food wrappers, half-drained coffee cups, and dog-eared copy of the Anarchist’s Cookbook. Look around your computer. Worse yet, ON your computer. What sort of disturbing things – things that at minimum might bring you under the scrutiny of some government watch lists – have you bookmarked, and consider what people might conclude if you couldn’t qualify it with that happy explanation: “But I’m a writer.” See what I mean? Perhaps we’re drawn to writing because others accept, and even expect, that as writers, we’re not *quite* right, in that intriguing, somewhat eccentric way. “It’s okay… she’s a writer.”
Finally, consider WHY we write. Is it for the money? Seriously? We might be crazy, somewhat out of touch or even delusional, but facts are facts. The hit and miss, feast or famine nature of royalties isn’t enough to justify what we put ourselves through. There are plenty of easier, far more lucrative ways to fill a bank account. No, those of us who truly love writing write because we’re compelled. Our imaginations don’t have an off switch, and the only way to purge that backlog of ideas, lies and mayhem building in our brains is to put it down in words. We weather the erratic income, the insomnia, the idiosyncrasies of the publishing world, scathing reviews from readers with a poor grasp on punctuation and grammar, all because it’s what we love to do. And I won’t even touch upon the other facet of my other insanity, the still-not-floating one, or I might start digging out cab-fare for a one-way ride to nice, restful Bergen Pines.
Writing. It’s madness, I tell you. Pure madness.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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November 13, 2013
Enduring the storm
by Christine Kling
By the time we were preparing to leave New Zealand, we had been there for six months, and a storm had been brewing. I’m not talking about a weather system. I mean an emotional gale.
I’d worked most of that time as a waitress in the Quarterdeck Restaurant on the Russell waterfront, and Jim had found work doing repairs and boat sitting on a 52-foot sailboat. Life for us had settled into a peaceful routine. But that all changed with the arrival of Jim’s 14-year-old daughter.
We were anchored out in Matauwhi Bay when the ferry boat came alongside. The driver told us that a woman from California had called the authorities in New Zealand and told them to find our boat – it was an emergency. Jim got this pained look on his face and told me it had to be his ex-wife. He said she could find him anywhere.
It turned out that the girl’s mother had decided their daughter was becoming a handful, and it would be good for her to leave her home in urban Los Angeles, pull her out of the 8th grade and ship her down to go sailing with her father and his new 21-year-old girlfriend.
A couple of weeks later, we rented a car to drive down to Aukland to pick her up. I have such a clear memory of my first sight of this gorgeous curvaceous girl my same height (because she was wearing those 70′s platform shoes) who looked more like she was 24 than 14. She came strolling off the plane with a bag slung over her shoulder, and with a bored look around her she said, “Hi Dad.” She completely ignored me. That was my introduction to Kathi, the namesake of the boat I was sailing on.
For the next several months, Kathi and I had a time of it. I was barely 7 years older than her and I wasn’t anywhere near as sophisticated. I didn’t feel I could be her step-mother, nor was she about to let me be her friend. If I asked her to do anything around the boat from picking up her things to doing the dishes, it turned into a war of wills. Eventually, she made friends with some of the local Kiwi kids and started to be a happier kid, but then it was time for us to go. Kathi desperately wanted to get away from her dad and me. So, by the time we were ready to leave, she announced she was engaged to be married to this very sweet 19-year-old apprentice from Ashley’s Boatyard – Keith- and she was flashing the ring he had given her. She was a very street smart kid from LA, and I don’t think that poor country Kiwi kid knew what hit him.
The day we left we pulled our boat into the fuel dock. Kathi disappeared into town, and her father went after her. He came back hauling this kicking, screaming, crying kid while being trailed by this other lovesick boy making moony faces at her and professing eternal love. Kathi was spewing curses as any good Valley Girl can do and behaving like a double for Linda Blair in The Exorcist. Jim hollered at me to throw off the lines. With his wailing daughter tucked under his arm, he stood at the tiller and put the engine in gear. I jumped aboard and thought, “Right, a ten-day passage to Fiji. This is going to be fun.”
Fun is not quite the right word for what that passage was. Jim insisted that Kathi had to stand watches like the rest of us. We had installed an Aries wind vane in New Zealand so we now had reliable self-steering, but the person on watch had to check the set of the sails and look out for ships and squalls. So, she got a flashlight. When Kathi was on night watch every 30 seconds the light would click on and shine onto the bulkhead brass clock. Then she would tap her foot. Then she’d start humming a tune. Then the light would click on again. My watch always followed hers and eventually, I’d just get up and send her off to bed because I couldn’t stand it anymore. Of course that pleased her no end. She’d won.
Ten days later when we pulled in and anchored off the Suva Yacht Club, the ring was gone and Kathi headed straight for the bar where the typical collection of shaggy-haired, bronzed singlehanders sat elbow to elbow with the gin-sipping British ex-pats. All the fellows clamored to buy Kathi a Shirley Temple. When her father asked her what about Keith, she smiled and said, “Keith who?”
It was in Suva that we celebrated the Bicentennial of the USA on the Fourth of July by setting off fireworks and shooting old flares. At the party at the yacht club, we met a couple on another boat, and together they and Jim hatched a plan to sail around the northern coast of Viti Levu through what is called Bligh Water (due to it being where the mutiny took place). It would be a 300-mile long trip through uncharted reefs, and we would really be getting off the beaten path. There were no roads, no services of any kind, and there were only a few villages where no cruising boat had been in years. The charts we had of the area were based on a survey from the 1800′s.
I looked at Kathi then I looked at Jim. “You sure this is a good idea?” I asked.
“Sure,” Jim said. “It’ll be fun. A real trip to remember.”
And so it turned out to be.
Fair winds!
Christine
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November 11, 2013
Boat Museum?
Another boating season is over and I will once again close the books without eyeing the expense side of things. I am left with few options. But I’m the creative sort and after careful thought I’ve come to the conclusion that the answer is the creation of a non-profit boating museum. Fortunately, I have several collectables already secured: an old wooden sailboat, a 37-year old Boston Whaler, a beat-up sunfish, and an inflatable dinghy.
I wish I had thought of this idea sooner because there are a bunch of other boats I could have brought into the collection. For example, Lillian Hellman and Dashiell Hammet spent their summers on Martha’s Vineyard and I remember reading that Hellman owned a 25 foot Surf Hunter. Hers was an early wooden model of the Ray Hunt design that is still in production (now sold as a Hunt 25). Hellman’s boat was Julia – a great name that links to one of her literary works that became a movie of the same name. I saw Julia a few years back. It needed work, but it had great lines and with the pedigree. Plus it would have drawn an important demographic of museum goers – the ones who are old enough to pay admission.
John F. Kennedy was a famous boater. His Wiano Senior sailboat Victoria is housed at the Kennedy Presidential Library. But that was spoken for a long time ago. Same for Hemingway’s boat, Pilar, which is kept by the Cuban government at the writer’s former house, Finca Vigía. Perhaps, though, I could arrange a temporary loan, a visiting exhibition?
(Ernest Hemingway’s 38-fott Wheeler, Pilar)
It does seem a lot of the good stuff is already taken. And it doesn’t help that Mystic Seaport is within a hundred miles of me. Then again, I am a fiction writer. Hmmn. Let’s see:
Museum piece #1: 1976 17-foot Boston Whaler. Used in the making of Jaws. (Sounds good so far.) Was the camera platform for the several scenes (Who can fact-check that one?) Reportedly the personal boat of Steven Spielberg. (Now we’re talking.)
Museum piece #2: undated sunfish sailboat. The earliest known version of a sunfish sailboat. (You want museum goers, you ‘ve gotta given them notoriety.) Was beached and left behind by Nordic explorer Leif Ericson. (Who’s gonna check?)
Museum piece #4: inflatable dinghy. Used by the landing crew of the Mayflower. (Okay, picky, picky… the Mayflower II reproduction that sits in Plymouth Harbor).
But I’ll still need more items. I’m working on my top list for new acquisitions. If you’re looking for a tax deduction and storage for your boat, ring me if you think you have any of the following:
• SS Minnow from Gilligan’s Island
• Noah’s Arc
• Cleopatra’s Barge
• The boat Washington used to cross the Delaware
(The boat I can get, finding those oars is a whole other problem.)
I am especially interested in any boats that have a strong pop culture pedigree, including, but not limited to:
The sailboat used in the Duran Duran music video Rio
(Sure was a gifted decade music-wise, wasn’t it.)
Glastron runabout used in James Bond’s Live and Let Die
(Warning, don’t try this at home.)
Of course, housing and maintaining the collection will be costly. Maybe I need to sleep on this idea…but if you spot Noah’s Arc on e-bay, ring me immediately.
John Urban
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