Piera Sarasini's Blog, page 3
July 6, 2012
Piera Sarasini's Blog: heartlessly
Piera Sarasini's Blog: heartlessly: I wish I could at least be angry at you. I tried to be. My effort was cut short by your cowardice and so I'm left scattering my choked words...
May 1, 2012
Bealtaine - May Day (from "Cassandra in the Mirror")
Uisneach, 1 May 1996
Darkness covered the hill. The light would soon come to bless Bealtaine, May Day. The bonfires lit during the previous night were now flickering embers piercing the morning mist like cats’ eyes. Dances had been woven around them. Couples had let their hair down as their loving ways unfolded, covered by blankets under the stars. The night was dedicated to the Sacred Fire, the Light of the Life Force itself. For centuries, fertility, union and growth were celebrated on this date. These ancient rituals had stood the test of time. Like at Samhain, the doors to the Otherworld flung open at Bealtaine.
Holding torches to find their way up the hill, the party of Light Workers wove their way to the ancient site that marked Ireland’s mystical navel. Two good friends of Cassandra’s were among them: Maria-Carmen and Lydia. The group positioned themselves around the Cat’s Stone. Holding hands in a circle, they formed an unlikely patchwork of people. Some were old and looked like respectable middle class pensioners in tweed jackets and wellies. Others were younger and of a more colourful hippy stock. From their encircled voices, a chant of harmonic sounds bridged dimensions and reached their guides in Shambhala.
Nature listened in, waiting for the arrival of the new day with infinite stillness. Idle cows mooed. Dawn’s rosy fingers tantalised the shadow in a foreplay that culminated in the appearance of the sunrise in all its golden glory. The voices of the Light Workers rose in volume and pitch. Their vocalises contained a secret code, a mystical frequency. Their song grew into the climax of the perfect sound wave. Elsewhere in space and time, the lock of the Gates of Shambhala clicked open, and Cassandra and Oscar bid farewell to their friends in the Diamond City. In their astral bodies, they had gained easy access to the place the night before as they slumbered like lovers do after joining their limbs in Sacred Union. Now it was time to return to their physical bodies that were fast asleep under a blanket on the Hill of Uisneach, under the still starry sky.
The campers started to stir in their sleeping bags. Dawn was upon them, tickling their dreams with its light. It was time to arise and partake in the blessings of May Day. Following an ancient propitiatory custom, people washed their faces with the morning dew that is known to have powers of rejuvenation on Bealtaine. Others wandered around the hill to collect flowers and boughs from the mountain ashes or rowan trees, to be later hung across the doorways or on the outside of the windows of their homes. Coffee, fruit and biscuits were shared in the usual tradition of hospitality and generosity associated with the festival.
Cassandra and Oscar woke up in each other’s embrace. Sparkles came from their hands. To their amazement, they were both wearing a Claddah ring which had not been there when they had fallen asleep. They remembered that they had held an impromptu mock wedding ceremony on the Hill the day before. Now their true vows had also been sealed in Shambhala. Cassandra put her hand on Oscar’s heart as a promise to love and respect him forever. No words were spoken. In silence he swore to love and honour her until the end of time. They could by then read each other’s mind with great ease. Then they anointed each the other’s forehead with the morning dew to symbolise the eternity to their bond. Sacred Marriage vows can’t be broken. Most importantly, they can only be made in heaven.
(From "Cassandra in the Mirror" by Piera Sarasini, chapter 9, 'Magical Pair', p. 166-167; the paperback is available at http://www.completelynovel.com/books/cassandra-in-the-mirror--2 and the ebook is available at http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/142765; photographs courtesy of Mary Gaynor)
April 22, 2012
The Goddess Sessions - why?
The Goddess Sessions were the monthly meetings I used to run with my friend Veronica a few years ago. Initially, Veronica and I had devised these 'sessions' as our own way to re-connect with the Divine Feminine power in us through a variety of logical as well as intuitive methods: from life coaching to shamanic healing practices, from counselling to magical rituals at sacred sites across the country.
We immediately realised that the Goddess Sessions were a wonderful arena in which we could reach out for our fullest potential through the magnifying power of shared consciousness and ritual. Magic, fun and imagination punctuated our 'sessions' from the beginning. As well as a respect for the sacredness of nature, the timelessness of ancient knowledge.... and a highly developed sense of style! We set out to achieve various goals... and many were reached! One of our aims was to share the 'format' of our sessions with a broader audience in order to expand the energy: we believe that like attracts like.
Eventually, in 2007 we opened our 'circle' of two to a number of like-minded, spiritually inclined female friends. As a group we would meet on the first Monday of each month, to support each other as we walk on the Path of the Goddess. We all came with dreams and ambitions, experience and knowledge... as well as issues to resolve and obstacles to remove! Now the Goddess Sessions have become an established social feature in many of my friends' lives, and these meetings can be potentially transferred to social networks such as Facebook (watch this space).
Let me outline a couple of important concepts behind the idea of the Goddess Sessions.
WHO IS THEGODDESS?
In the olden days, before the development of rationality and the advent of the Male God, the Great Goddess ruled the minds and heartsof humanity with her reign of magic, intuition and instinct. Now things are different: logic has established itself as the best thinking method, while imagination is frowned upon by the powers that be. In recent times, the struggle between the Goddess of the Ancient Ways of the Earth and the horrors of the modern world with its need for control and lust for fear-based power is, more than ever, becoming magnified.
The following quotes by Daniel Jacob - received years ago from the Reconnections - (http://www.reconnections.net) explain female power vis-a-vis male power in relation to its impact on the individual and on society, and its possible future implications on the planet at large.
"Femalecontrol is not superior to Male control. It's just different,that's all. It moves through the body in unique neuralpathways. Women striving to gain control (in society) is simplyanother reaction to outward circumstance. Though it has sometemporary cathartic value for them, it is really the softening of malepride and aggression that could finally turn the tide of our planet. The drawback of control, whether it is masculine (overt) orfeminine (covert) is the fact that it requires the controller tobe deliberate in his or her methods. After all, if YOU are theone at the wheel of the car, then it is YOU who must decide. And, tobecome deliberate is to de-liberate yourself from the joy of being achild, of being free, of being receptive rather than the Initiatorall the time.
[...]
The Goddess Religions were founded upon many [...] hidden elements [...]: nature, her cycles, looking at theworld from the inside out. The power of the Goddess rests, not merely in hermastery over nature, but also in her deep knowledge of what motivates andstimulates the heart of humanity--what makes it glow, and what keeps it healthyand strong. Is it any wonder that heart disease is a major killer in yourworld today? When the pillars of Her Temples were knocked down, a gooddeal more than a religion was lost.
[...]
The Divine Feminine is re-establishing Herrelationship to the Masculine Dominance that currently fills that planet. What will shine forth in humans, on a small scale, is but a faint glimmer ofthe bigger picture, which is now playing itself out in a whole host ofways.
A grand SPLIT once occurred, between two guidingconcepts, within the Pantheon of Archetypal Being--a split that has affectedhumanity in grave ways. The God/Goddess Rift is reaching its crescendo,and resolution of these conflicts is now close at hand. The Power of ONENESS(integration) is up to us. Meanwhile, all can see the resistance toit playing out in wars, monetary struggles, religious clashes, and many otherarenas in modern culture. And many of us are tired.
The Temples of the Goddess, which some historiansoft referred to as "Houses of Prostitution," were designed ashospitals for the body and soul. They were a place where men and womencould retire--set in elegant and holy energy--to explore the depths of who andwhat they were. In Pagan Society, there was no rift between Spiritualityand Sex. Both were seen as true and vital forces, dancing in beautifulsymmetry."
Perhaps this can be seen as an idealised interpretation of the old Goddess Ways. But perhaps it is not. Perhaps I'm over-romanticising the past and hoping for a future that will never be. But perhaps I am not. Yet the Goddess Flame is burning strongly in my heart these days. Once again, the Goddess is the choice I want to make. I want Her to guide me. I want to feel, not just think. I don't want to run away from my feelings as I'm often told to do. I want to tie pretty ribbons around them and make them so pretty that I'll find them irresistible, that the world will find them irresistible.
WHY THE GODDESS?
She is alive in so many of us ... waiting for that prince's kiss to wake her up ... over and over again ...
I am hungry for symbols: archetypes, totems, fairy tales... I want liminality, I don't need all that clarity ... I want the Goddess Ways to return, I want to understand life also through my heart, through myth, in the language of symbols that speak to the most ancient part of our brain, to our primitive memory, to our DNA.
What is your favourite fairytale? What is your totem? What archetype are you following? Do you know?
I will always love Peter Pan and Pinocchio, hold the butterfly as my proud totem and embody my archetype of the Lover even when the world tells me to do otherwise and my wounds come to the fore. I know no other way...
May all of our dreams come true...
We immediately realised that the Goddess Sessions were a wonderful arena in which we could reach out for our fullest potential through the magnifying power of shared consciousness and ritual. Magic, fun and imagination punctuated our 'sessions' from the beginning. As well as a respect for the sacredness of nature, the timelessness of ancient knowledge.... and a highly developed sense of style! We set out to achieve various goals... and many were reached! One of our aims was to share the 'format' of our sessions with a broader audience in order to expand the energy: we believe that like attracts like.
Eventually, in 2007 we opened our 'circle' of two to a number of like-minded, spiritually inclined female friends. As a group we would meet on the first Monday of each month, to support each other as we walk on the Path of the Goddess. We all came with dreams and ambitions, experience and knowledge... as well as issues to resolve and obstacles to remove! Now the Goddess Sessions have become an established social feature in many of my friends' lives, and these meetings can be potentially transferred to social networks such as Facebook (watch this space).
Let me outline a couple of important concepts behind the idea of the Goddess Sessions.
WHO IS THEGODDESS?
In the olden days, before the development of rationality and the advent of the Male God, the Great Goddess ruled the minds and heartsof humanity with her reign of magic, intuition and instinct. Now things are different: logic has established itself as the best thinking method, while imagination is frowned upon by the powers that be. In recent times, the struggle between the Goddess of the Ancient Ways of the Earth and the horrors of the modern world with its need for control and lust for fear-based power is, more than ever, becoming magnified.
The following quotes by Daniel Jacob - received years ago from the Reconnections - (http://www.reconnections.net) explain female power vis-a-vis male power in relation to its impact on the individual and on society, and its possible future implications on the planet at large.
"Femalecontrol is not superior to Male control. It's just different,that's all. It moves through the body in unique neuralpathways. Women striving to gain control (in society) is simplyanother reaction to outward circumstance. Though it has sometemporary cathartic value for them, it is really the softening of malepride and aggression that could finally turn the tide of our planet. The drawback of control, whether it is masculine (overt) orfeminine (covert) is the fact that it requires the controller tobe deliberate in his or her methods. After all, if YOU are theone at the wheel of the car, then it is YOU who must decide. And, tobecome deliberate is to de-liberate yourself from the joy of being achild, of being free, of being receptive rather than the Initiatorall the time.
[...]
The Goddess Religions were founded upon many [...] hidden elements [...]: nature, her cycles, looking at theworld from the inside out. The power of the Goddess rests, not merely in hermastery over nature, but also in her deep knowledge of what motivates andstimulates the heart of humanity--what makes it glow, and what keeps it healthyand strong. Is it any wonder that heart disease is a major killer in yourworld today? When the pillars of Her Temples were knocked down, a gooddeal more than a religion was lost.
[...]
The Divine Feminine is re-establishing Herrelationship to the Masculine Dominance that currently fills that planet. What will shine forth in humans, on a small scale, is but a faint glimmer ofthe bigger picture, which is now playing itself out in a whole host ofways.
A grand SPLIT once occurred, between two guidingconcepts, within the Pantheon of Archetypal Being--a split that has affectedhumanity in grave ways. The God/Goddess Rift is reaching its crescendo,and resolution of these conflicts is now close at hand. The Power of ONENESS(integration) is up to us. Meanwhile, all can see the resistance toit playing out in wars, monetary struggles, religious clashes, and many otherarenas in modern culture. And many of us are tired.
The Temples of the Goddess, which some historiansoft referred to as "Houses of Prostitution," were designed ashospitals for the body and soul. They were a place where men and womencould retire--set in elegant and holy energy--to explore the depths of who andwhat they were. In Pagan Society, there was no rift between Spiritualityand Sex. Both were seen as true and vital forces, dancing in beautifulsymmetry."
Perhaps this can be seen as an idealised interpretation of the old Goddess Ways. But perhaps it is not. Perhaps I'm over-romanticising the past and hoping for a future that will never be. But perhaps I am not. Yet the Goddess Flame is burning strongly in my heart these days. Once again, the Goddess is the choice I want to make. I want Her to guide me. I want to feel, not just think. I don't want to run away from my feelings as I'm often told to do. I want to tie pretty ribbons around them and make them so pretty that I'll find them irresistible, that the world will find them irresistible.
WHY THE GODDESS?
She is alive in so many of us ... waiting for that prince's kiss to wake her up ... over and over again ...
I am hungry for symbols: archetypes, totems, fairy tales... I want liminality, I don't need all that clarity ... I want the Goddess Ways to return, I want to understand life also through my heart, through myth, in the language of symbols that speak to the most ancient part of our brain, to our primitive memory, to our DNA.
What is your favourite fairytale? What is your totem? What archetype are you following? Do you know?
I will always love Peter Pan and Pinocchio, hold the butterfly as my proud totem and embody my archetype of the Lover even when the world tells me to do otherwise and my wounds come to the fore. I know no other way...
May all of our dreams come true...
April 7, 2012
Easter: Rebirthing the Divine Feminine
.jpg)
The Birth of Venus
by Sandro Botticelli, ca. 1485This is a most powerful, magical celebration, and one to definitely use to our advantage. All we need to do is remember what this holiday stands for, and take a good look at our lives from this perspective ...
The festival of Easter is firmly rooted in pre-Christian pagan traditions. It gets its name in English from the Saxon lunar goddess of fertility and springtime, Eostre, who is also at the etymological root of a cardinal point: the East. Eástre (1909) by Jacques Reich
Interestingly, and in line with the concept of fertility and re-birth (resurrection), Eostre is also connected to the name of the female hormone, estrogen, and the biological term 'estrus', which refers to the phase when the female is sexually receptive.
Unlike other Christian festivals whose dates are fixed, Easter is always celebrated on the first Sunday after the first Full Moon after the Spring Equinox, thus following a nature-based calendar.Painted eggs and bunnies are among the most ancient and widely found spring symbols, although they were part of much more serious fertility observances thousands of years ago. The hare is also one of the companions and totems of Aphrodite (whose name is connected to the word 'April'), the Greek goddess of beauty, love and passion.
According to some, the word Easter can be connected to the name of the Babylonian divinity, Ishtar, an earlier embodiment of Venus's womanly energy. Ishtar is also associated with the Egyptian goddess Isis, famous for having brought her murdered husband, Osiris, back to life.A 1907 postcard
The Goddess Isis, wall painting, c. 1360 BCE Old Babylonian period "Ishtar, Queen of Night" relief.Finally, chocolate is undoubtedly every woman's favourite food, and wonderful to keep your mood up thanks to the phenylethylamine it contains.
So, Easter is the Festival of the Divine Feminine. Let's celebrate it properly by focusing on new beginnings, on how we want our lives to change in the year ahead of us. Remember, make Easter the day in which you connect with the Goddess in Embryo that you are (or with the feminine aspect of your psyche if you're a man).
This painting shows Paris surveying Aphrodite naked, with the other two goddesses watching nearby. This is one of the numerous works that depict the event. (
El Juicio de Paris
by Enrique Simonet, ca. 1904)Rebirth the Goddess that you are and reveal her to the world!... and by this time next year we will be celebrating our powerful achievements and happy outcomes together.Have a wonderful holiday, everybody!
love, Piera xx
March 13, 2012
Ponderings on the Solar Flares, and Nasa video of Super Solar Storm 2012 (and more to come in 2013 with Andromeda - Doc)
The beautiful Star around which our system revolves went a bit berserk last week.
First the mesmerising Full Moon on Wednesday/Thursday last week opened the portal (emotions)
and then the Sun Flares entered into the atmosphere of our Planet on Friday.
Wires crossed, communication was lost, ties were cut.
Did you feel the effects?
Did you have strong dreams?
Strong physical sensations in your stomach?
If so, you are awake.
On the outer plane, the Earth grid was under threat.
The same 'shock' was felt on the inside, on the plane of the Soul.
Transformation was activated by those who can feel it.
Courage is the result in the hearts of those who let the stirring of their inner Sun enter their Cores.
A New Journey has begun.
Enjoy it!
March 12, 2012
Why did I write this book? ( a couple of words from the author)
This novel was born in my attempt to heal from the kind of heartache that was taking forever to wash off. Years after the blow had been dealt, I still found myself torn between the sweetest memories of the start and the tears I cried in the end. These two polar opposites kept playing havoc with my life. I never enjoyed any of the beautiful romantic adventures that kept coming my way while I was interpreting the present through the lenses of that wound. So I decided I wanted to get the whole experience out of my system, and allow it to transform me.
Often situations come to a head and sorrow becomes almost unbearable to provide us with an opportunity for re-invention, for rebirth into a higher, better, stronger version of the persons we were before the experience that hurt us crossed our path. In my case, it took me a long time because the depth of my feelings was unchartered territory, and the pain that I felt when that particular relationship came to an end was really unbearable.
But art can change things, and writing makes you process experiences. You can turn your monster into a kitten, and you reprogram yourself and your heart as a result. So that’s what I spent the past four years doing, churning out all kinds of feelings, images, fragments of memories and situations from my broken heart, in the attempt to make it whole again.
Cassandra’s story is one of struggle for ideals that do not seem to exist on Earth, and acceptance of normality, imperfection, pain and even defeat. She is on a journey, of course. It’s a heart-journey where time is irrelevant. She time-travels to various points of her life experience with Oscar, trying to heal the void that’s come between them. It’s an adventure in consciousness where love is the fuel. It starts off as a quest for the stars which turns into a wrestling match with one’s true identity, and ends up in the welcoming embrace of physical reality in its simplicity and beautiful bareness.
I wrote this book to say goodbye to someone too elusive and ethereal, a cross between an angel and a ghost, who didn’t have the courage to give that relationship proper closure. And that someone was me.
Piera
www.pierasarasini.com
PS: read the opening chapters at http://www.completelynovel.com/books/cassandra-in-the-mirror--2/read-online
Why did I write this book?
This novel was born in my attempt to heal from the kind of heartache that takes forever to wash off. Years after the blow had been dealt, I still found myself torn between the sweetest memories of the start and the tears I cried in the end. These two polar opposites kept playing havoc with my life. I never enjoyed any of the beautiful romantic adventures that kept coming my way while I was interpreting the present through the lenses of that wound. So I decided I wanted to get the whole experience out of my system, and allow it to transform me.
Often situations come to a head and sorrow becomes almost unbearable to provide us with an opportunity for re-invention, for rebirth into a higher, better, stronger version of the persons we were before the experience that hurt us crossed our path. In my case, it took me a long time because the depth of my feelings was unchartered territory, and the pain that I felt when that particular relationship came to an end was really unbearable.
But art can change things, and writing makes you process experiences. You can turn your monster into a kitten, and you reprogram yourself and your heart as a result. So that’s what I spent the past four years doing, churning out all kinds of feelings, images, fragments of memories and situations from my broken heart, in the attempt to make it whole again.
Cassandra’s story is one of struggle for ideals that do not seem to exist on Earth, and acceptance of normality, imperfection, pain and even defeat. She is on a journey, of course. It’s a heart-journey where time is irrelevant. She time-travels to various points of her life experience with Oscar, trying to heal the void that’s come between them. It’s an adventure in consciousness where love is the fuel. It starts off as a quest for the stars which turns into a wrestling match with one’s true identity, and ends up in the welcoming embrace of physical reality in its simplicity and beautiful bareness.
I wrote this book to say goodbye to someone too elusive and ethereal, a cross between an angel and a ghost, who didn’t have the courage to give that relationship proper closure. And that someone was me.
Piera
PS: read the opening chapters at http://www.pierasarasini.com/#!cassandra-in-the-mirror/vstc3=opening-chapters
March 10, 2012
Dedication
This book is dedicated to all the wild dreamers and visionaries who have tried to believe in the impossible, pushing their minds past the Edge of Heaven and into the Realms of Shambhala.
Piera SarasiniDublin, February 2012
seven nights
For seven nights I fell asleep in your arms and being in love became believable again... a possibility... it only took a drink of your nectar, the life-force that dances within you... there I was, in love all over again, blessed by the Star of Venus.... you only had to skim my cheek with your fingers... and let that look colour your eyes of gold... your intention so obvious, your soul wide-open...
... all the walls of my heart's fortress came tumbling down.... and my feeling was resurrected!
But then you had to go.
How do you always do this to me? Is it rhythm of your breath? The pitch and depth of your voice? The fire in your hips? The distinctive taste of your being? It must be your hands, your grip can capture me for eternity... Every single time...
Or is it the shape of our bodies when we join - our beautifully entwined limbs: complete and yet so hungry... The way we move together: raw and sensual, we truly belong to each other in moments like this - when time stands still and miracles are born under the Moon.
You always open the door to eternity to me. You make me feel immortal, you make my flesh and blood become gold. I can melt in your presence. The ego dissolves. I am back in the Garden of Eden. I: truly yours. You: completely mine.
And we are in LOVE.
All I can say is: I love you. And you say you love me, too. We say it without words. The Silent Language of the Heart. Always and forever. So we forget that I can also hate you, and how you can hurt me, too.
In your arms. In love. I become the little girl, the kitten, the one who writes things that make some cringe and I don't care. Back to the core of me, vulnerable and pure. And what is more, I understand it all, it's ok. You're my bridge across the most secret, holy garden of my heart. You are my little secret angel of surprise...
I couldn't love you anymore than this. Every cell in my body is singing your name. Every atom of me wants to become you. I couldn't love any more than this as a woman. I could love you only a little bit more if only I were the Sun. Because my love for you is the Star of my existence.
Will love endure the test of time, when we die, when we leave this mortal coil? Will our moments of splendour -when our hearts expand and we gaze into each other's eyes and smile the Silent Smile - change the course of our life stories? Who knows?
...do the Stars know?
I am too small, my sweet lover, to carry the memory of such beauty inside my chest.
'This is the life', you said. Sublime mortality. Sometimes. Hearts like stars. Eyes like the ocean.
Is this love too much for a lifetime? What can I do? How can I love you now? How can you love me even more? Can I build a temple to our love and light a candle every night? May the wind kiss your mouth when I'm not there... may it kiss you like I do...
Languid
Orbit
Veering
Emptiness
Can you see the full moon from your window tonight?
Think of me just for a second and remember our Star a little while longer...
... all the walls of my heart's fortress came tumbling down.... and my feeling was resurrected!
But then you had to go.
How do you always do this to me? Is it rhythm of your breath? The pitch and depth of your voice? The fire in your hips? The distinctive taste of your being? It must be your hands, your grip can capture me for eternity... Every single time...
Or is it the shape of our bodies when we join - our beautifully entwined limbs: complete and yet so hungry... The way we move together: raw and sensual, we truly belong to each other in moments like this - when time stands still and miracles are born under the Moon.
You always open the door to eternity to me. You make me feel immortal, you make my flesh and blood become gold. I can melt in your presence. The ego dissolves. I am back in the Garden of Eden. I: truly yours. You: completely mine.
And we are in LOVE.
All I can say is: I love you. And you say you love me, too. We say it without words. The Silent Language of the Heart. Always and forever. So we forget that I can also hate you, and how you can hurt me, too.
In your arms. In love. I become the little girl, the kitten, the one who writes things that make some cringe and I don't care. Back to the core of me, vulnerable and pure. And what is more, I understand it all, it's ok. You're my bridge across the most secret, holy garden of my heart. You are my little secret angel of surprise...
I couldn't love you anymore than this. Every cell in my body is singing your name. Every atom of me wants to become you. I couldn't love any more than this as a woman. I could love you only a little bit more if only I were the Sun. Because my love for you is the Star of my existence.
Will love endure the test of time, when we die, when we leave this mortal coil? Will our moments of splendour -when our hearts expand and we gaze into each other's eyes and smile the Silent Smile - change the course of our life stories? Who knows?
...do the Stars know?
I am too small, my sweet lover, to carry the memory of such beauty inside my chest.
'This is the life', you said. Sublime mortality. Sometimes. Hearts like stars. Eyes like the ocean.
Is this love too much for a lifetime? What can I do? How can I love you now? How can you love me even more? Can I build a temple to our love and light a candle every night? May the wind kiss your mouth when I'm not there... may it kiss you like I do...
Languid
Orbit
Veering
Emptiness
Can you see the full moon from your window tonight?
Think of me just for a second and remember our Star a little while longer...
heartbits
You know how it ended, how we ended it, cowardly. And the pain you inflicted upon me. We were both too afraid. Circumstances were tough, resources limited. Blah blah blah. You burnt all bridges, didn't give an explanation. You were so cruel and I was so weak. My weakness wasn't all of my making, it was partly inherited from circumstances you knew. I knew the reasons why you could only be cruel. I have missed you all this time. I for one almost died without you. I was devastated. You disappeared so suddenly. You replaced me so quickly. Or did you? You forgot me so easily. But you didn't.
I stayed with it all day, that hurt in my heart. I walked around familiar places. All the memories emerging from every street and every corner. The trees, the flowers, the magpies, the cafes... All these years it has taken me. I was happy and light-hearted then. Naive. Dreaming was easy. I played back our first time. Tears almost surfaced as I observed the process....
BUT THE PAIN DID NOT DEFEAT ME: I LET IT FADE OUT OF ME GENTLY.
I OWN UP AND TAKE MY RESPONSIBILITIES NOW THAT I AM STRONG.
I have finally learnt what it was all about, what our "love", our relationship, was all about. I stayed with it for many years. I did not run away from the pain, I took the time it needed. It was a Great Love and the void it left was an abyss. It required all this time. I stayed with it, observed it, I let it bring me down to my knees. Hard, cold, bitter torture, tearing my soul apart. Yet I stayed with it. It made a fool of me, a slave. Not for the sake of drama, as you thought. For the sake of understanding, presence. Love, initially. And forgiveness, eventually.
Not on the surface, at the core...
Today I went to the place where it all started. I no longer ran away from it. Tired of running away. No distance left to run here. And ...
I finally realised,
truly realised,
what our relationship was all about: it was born to make me conscious, fully conscious, fully alert, of my Self. Again.
So I thank you my sweet darling as I set my Self free. I no longer need to think about this. The end. At last.
All these pieces. Across the world. Fragments of that explosion, that collision, that innocent mistake. Like a broken mirror in which I try to see our faces. But I can only see bits and pieces of my eyes, and they are blind.
Do I really look like that? Is that me or someone else? Is that you?
We were a Comet announcing Revelation. I revealed myself to you, you revealed yourself to me, and bang! I'm in bits, the mirror's cracked and it's time for reconstruction, transformation, walking around town with a lump in my throat because every corner holds the ghost of our love captive, memories are easily activated. The ley-lines are magnetic. Dream-time Ireland. I can hear your laughter in the wind. I can feel my trepidation. The lovers we were....I've become this city of Black Waters. A dream once so beautiful... A vision that I held...
I tell those little pieces to come back home and do it all again. Please, pretty please. But it's hard, they tell me.
You know, that was the MOST INCREDIBLY POWERFUL, DEVASTATING HEARTBREAK IN THE WORLD...
So I don't know where all the fragments of my heart were scattered... I didn't know there were so many...
But I found one today at the site of our last kiss. And I won't use it for you this time. So I've a bit more heart in me - for me - as a result.
I stayed with it all day, that hurt in my heart. I walked around familiar places. All the memories emerging from every street and every corner. The trees, the flowers, the magpies, the cafes... All these years it has taken me. I was happy and light-hearted then. Naive. Dreaming was easy. I played back our first time. Tears almost surfaced as I observed the process....
BUT THE PAIN DID NOT DEFEAT ME: I LET IT FADE OUT OF ME GENTLY.
I OWN UP AND TAKE MY RESPONSIBILITIES NOW THAT I AM STRONG.
I have finally learnt what it was all about, what our "love", our relationship, was all about. I stayed with it for many years. I did not run away from the pain, I took the time it needed. It was a Great Love and the void it left was an abyss. It required all this time. I stayed with it, observed it, I let it bring me down to my knees. Hard, cold, bitter torture, tearing my soul apart. Yet I stayed with it. It made a fool of me, a slave. Not for the sake of drama, as you thought. For the sake of understanding, presence. Love, initially. And forgiveness, eventually.
Not on the surface, at the core...
Today I went to the place where it all started. I no longer ran away from it. Tired of running away. No distance left to run here. And ...
I finally realised,
truly realised,
what our relationship was all about: it was born to make me conscious, fully conscious, fully alert, of my Self. Again.
So I thank you my sweet darling as I set my Self free. I no longer need to think about this. The end. At last.
All these pieces. Across the world. Fragments of that explosion, that collision, that innocent mistake. Like a broken mirror in which I try to see our faces. But I can only see bits and pieces of my eyes, and they are blind.
Do I really look like that? Is that me or someone else? Is that you?
We were a Comet announcing Revelation. I revealed myself to you, you revealed yourself to me, and bang! I'm in bits, the mirror's cracked and it's time for reconstruction, transformation, walking around town with a lump in my throat because every corner holds the ghost of our love captive, memories are easily activated. The ley-lines are magnetic. Dream-time Ireland. I can hear your laughter in the wind. I can feel my trepidation. The lovers we were....I've become this city of Black Waters. A dream once so beautiful... A vision that I held...
I tell those little pieces to come back home and do it all again. Please, pretty please. But it's hard, they tell me.
You know, that was the MOST INCREDIBLY POWERFUL, DEVASTATING HEARTBREAK IN THE WORLD...
So I don't know where all the fragments of my heart were scattered... I didn't know there were so many...
But I found one today at the site of our last kiss. And I won't use it for you this time. So I've a bit more heart in me - for me - as a result.
