Rick Johnson's Blog, page 5

Angry Young Men

Ever notice we have a lot of angry young men running around today? One of the reasons is that our boys today have a certain amount of repressed anger. It results in more bullying in school, but also in a more escalated level of violence. This is caused by not allowing young males to solve their social issues as they have for thousands of years—on their own. In the past when two young males disagreed about something, they went on the playground and tussled around until one or the other acceded—generally they both just got too tired to continue and quit. They then shook hands and forgot about it. In fact many boys I fought with we went on to be good friends. Today however, with adult (feminine) interference, boys are not allowed to solve their own problems. They are taught that any kind of aggression or (gasp) violence is bad. So they are forced to repress those feelings which eventually cause them to fester into frustration, anger, resentment, and bitterness--far more powerful feelings than they were originally faced with. Eventually those powerful repressed emotions spill over and explode into greater levels of violence evidenced by the shootings and stabbings we see of young men across the country.

I'm not promoting that we should teach young males that violence is the way to solve problems. But in the "old days" when a gym teacher had two boys who had problems with each other he put boxing gloves on them both and told them to settle their differences. Afterwards they were made to shake hands and forget about it. Even in the most adversarial unsupervised playground scuffle seldom was anyone injured beyond a bloody nose. Males always respect their opponent after doing battle with one another and frequently become good friends because of the respect they earn for one another. We did not see the problems then that we face today with high levels of violence and killing of our young men.

Our more feminized world of total tolerance does not allow a young man to seek justice which causes him to be resentful and angry. Males are taught it is bad to fight or even be aggressive over any insult no matter how egregious the offense.
Again, I'm not promoting violence, bullying, or unchecked aggression, but this kind of feminization of young males not only results in a more intensified level of aggression, but also produces passive men who often internalize this anger and frustration which then manifests itself in destructive passive-aggressive behavior.

Why do you think young men are angry today?

3 Reasons Why the Cowboys won't be in the Super Bowl

1) Wade Phillips: Phillips has a pretty good lifetime coaching record, but his teams do not do well in the playoffs. During six trips to the play-offs, his teams have only won one game. In addition, the Cowboys have more talent than any team in the league yet consistently underachieve. That my friend spells bad coaching.

2) Tony Romo: As much talent as he appears to possess, I have come to the conclusion that Romo is not a leader. Romo appears to be too lackadaisical and undisciplined to lead a team on a consistent basis. He smiles and laughs after losses. He goes on vacation with famous chippies before big games. I've never seen him show any passion or fire. Romo wants to live the life of a star without first producing the results. Statistics are great but winning big games matters.

3) Jerry Jones: The biggest reason the Cowboys won't win the Super Bowl is Jerry Jones. Jones may be a smart businessman but he's not a smart football man. He'd rather have a coach that kisses his behind than one who can control and motivate his talented team of superstars. The Cowboys used to stand for duty, honor, and tradition under men like Laundry, Brandt, and Schramm. Now they epitomize everything that's wrong with America; image over substance.

Talking to Boys--Simple is Better

Every year, our Better Dads ministry hosts an annual Single Mom's Family Camp. We bring about 25 single mothers and their children to a free, three-day camp. During the camp our male volunteers play with the children during the day while myself and other speakers provide education, insight, and spiritual development during classes for the moms.

At our most recent single mom's family camp, we had many more teenage boys attend than was usual in past years. One of our male mentor volunteers...

Get More Sex from Your Marriage!

I was recently asked to speak at a large men's conference. Besides speaking from the main stage I was scheduled to give two breakout sessions as well. One of the breakout sessions was on the topic of my newest book, Becoming Your Spouse's Better Half. Upon arriving at the venue I looked at the participant guide and discovered that the event producers had promoted this workshop as a "how to get more sex in your marriage" event. Needless to say about 580 out of the 600 men in attendance sh...

The Worm in the Apple of Eden

Suzanne and I recently returned from an incredible week-long speaking tour of the US Virgin Islands. With a very high fatherless rate, the Virgin Islands are experiencing problems with gangs and young men killing each other nightly. I was brought to the islands to do a series of workshops on Why Men Matter, The Importance of Fathers, and Raising Boys to Become Good Men. In preparation of our trip I did a weeks worth of radio interviews as well as several newspaper article interviews before...

Father-Daughter Summit Brings Tears and Reconciliation

My 21-year-old daughter, Kelsey, and I had the privilege of speaking together at the Third Annual Seattle Father-Daughter Summit this past weekend. It was a powerful event that was attended by about 60 pairs of fathers and daughters with ages ranging from 11-25 years old. The Summit was an all day event sponsored by several fathering and family ministries. The program consisted of seven sessions working with fathers and daughters together, fathers alone, and daughters alone by age group. ...

Promise Keepers Canada is Awesome!

The Promise Keepers Game Day 2009 in Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada was perhaps the most powerful and impactful men's event I have ever participated in. Like in Regina, SK several weeks ago, about 625 men and boys attended this amazing event—many driving from hours and hours away. The community was so excited that PK was in town they had 50 volunteers show up! Paul Downer (son of Phil Downer) spoke first Friday evening with a powerful talk about his broken relationship with his father and ho...

Interview With Andrew Klavan

One of the great perks about being an author and speaker is that I get the opportunity to meet and hang out with other writers (usually ones a lot more famous and talented than me). One of the incredible authors I have been fortunate enough to get to know a little is Andrew Klavan. Andrew is an Edgar Award winning author of a bunch of great books such as Hunting Down Amanda, Shotgun Alley, Dynamite Road, and Empire of Lies. In addition, two of his New York Times bestselling novels were mad...

Advice to a Young Woman

I've seen you at our seminars. Perhaps you've read my books. I see your pictures and I read your responses everyday on Facebook. I feel like I know you as a daughter. I see a beautiful, intelligent, vibrant young woman with a witty and ironic sense of humor. Perhaps you made poor choices in men and birthed children you are struggling to raise without a father. Yet you approach this overwhelming task with determination and courage, even though sometimes you feel like it's draining you dry.

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Camp Changes Lives!

Better Dads hosted our Third Annual Single Mom's Family Camp on June 12-14 at Canby Grove Christian Camp. I don't even know where to begin to report all the incredible things that happened at this camp.

First of all, let me say thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of the volunteers, donors, and prayer warriors who were involved in this event. You will never know how many lives you touched or how deeply you touched them until you are standing before our Maker. But I know that miracles happ