Tim Atkinson's Blog, page 105

Blue Monday

What's that? I hear you cry. Well, there are a number of answers number one of which is - today. Yes, the third Monday in January is when - by virtue of a rather dubious mathematical formula - it has been calculated that the nation is at its gloomiest. We're well past Christmas; spring hasn't yet sprung and as for those new year resolutions, well... let's not go there shall we? The morning's are dark, the evening aren't noticeably lighter, the weather's rotten and there's nothing - nothing - on the television.



Faced with such overwhelmingly negative odds you've got few options. Go back to bed and forget all about it, or fight it. There are any number of helpful suggestions in this morning's 'papers, including singing, flirting, dancing and eating chocolate, any one of which seems like a good idea to me. But just in case you find that list a bit unsuitable, allow me to present a few alternatives...



Number One: Throw a party!





That's what we did, at the weekend. There was a pirate theme with 'yo ho ho' games, pieces of cake (a Treasure Chest courtesy of Party Times and some lovely cup-cakes from Digital Outlook) and the equivilent of a bottle of rum for the grown ups (home mixed dry martini courtesy of, well... me). You could even make it fancy dress if you like. Arrrr!





Next, play the drums. I'm sure it'll make you feel better (although I can't promise the same effect on those in the immediate vicinity).  This little punch-packing pressie came to Charlie for his birthday from his Uncle Rob. Not sure what we've done to upset him, but it must be serious...





At the very least you could make sure you start the day with a really decent breakfast. The Hovis Wholemeal challenge is still running. My own favourite (as I said here) was the good ol' boiled egg and tasty toast fingers, but there are any number of suggestions to get you going in a morning and to stop you snacking.



Finally, why not listen to some music. Blue Monday isn't just the most depressing day in the calendar. It's also the title of the biggest selling twelve-inch single of all time, by the well-known beat combo New Order. And if this doesn't make you feel better (or nostalgic for the nineteen-eighties) I don't know what will...

WIN TICKETS TO THE BABY SHOW AT LONDON'S EXCEL

Two weeks in and we're - at last - getting a little more sleep. Something of a routine is beginning to emerge (though not in the Gina Ford sense) and many of the 'must have' purchases have now been made. (Although we are still looking for a buggy running board for Charlie...) But talking of purchases, where better to get the lowdown on what you really need (and which one of them is best) than at the Baby Show? This February at London ExCeL there'll be three days of unrivalled inspiration, education and entertainment, where you'll find everything you need for pregnancy, birth and the baby and a great day out, made easy. It's on from 18-20 February 2011 and I'm giving five lucky winners the chance to win a pair of tickets to attend on the first day, February 18th. All you have to do is leave a 'pick me' comment in the box below. Tweet about it too and you'll get an extra entry. And believe me, free tickets for the show will just be the beginning.



But it's not just about the savings on 1000s of must have baby and maternity products or the chance to 'try before you buy'. There's an opportunity to chat with midwives and health experts; and gain expert product advice, watch live demonstrations and handy hints and tips on the best pregnancy and baby products.



As you'd expect, it's baby and child-friendly with changing, feeding and play areas and for parents weighed down with shopping there's a drop off and collection zone to keep your arms free for more important items.



The Baby Show is the only place to host all the UK's leading baby and parenting brands all under one roof with the likes of Mothercare, Pampers, Britax, Tommee Tippee and Plum Baby all showcasing the latest products, gadgets and technologies. The Baby Show features the best people with the best brands making it a great day out, made easy.



The Baby Show takes place on 18-20 February, ExCeL, London. Tickets are on sale now for The Baby Show and are available from the box office on 0871 231 0844 or online at thebabyshow.co.uk. Head to www.thebabyshow.co.uk for full details. 





Oh, and this is NOT a sponsored post, by the way; they're not paying me to say any of this or even offering me a pair of free tickets (sniff!). But I couldn't possibly pass up such a wonderful opportunity, could I?



Good luck!

Bonus babe!

Oops! I do apologise... no idea how that got there. Anyway, this is a serious post; a serious post about serious things - like banks, and bonuses.



Now I know it's been said, many times, many ways (and in many different funny voices if you're Robert Peston) but this fuss about the banks and their bonuses, what with them being in hock to the taxpayer and all that, really mystifies me. And I'm not easily mystified. Oh no. I've taught quantum theory. (Not that I'd claim to understand it, you know. Who was it said that anyone who claims to understand quantum theory doesn't know the first thing about it? Not Robert Peston, that's for sure.)



Anyway, David Cameron has washed his hands of the whole thing; the government claims that it is powerless to intervene; and Vince Cable has been hung out to dry (which is hardly less than he deserves having been so rude about his colleagues recently... Mind you, he did turn in a rather sparkly Strictly Come Dancing performance recently. Maybe we should elect our politicians that way? I'd certainly be quite attentive if Aliona Vilani was delivering a party political broadcast.)



But I digress. Bankers. Yes, with a 'B'. It beats me how the Irish can be so firm and threaten to pull the fiscal rug from underneath their feet and we can't. Or can we? Surely, it depends which 'we' we're talking about? If Mr Cameroon is too much of a wimp, let's take matters into our own hands. Let's... take our business elsewhere! If your bank is paying some obscene sum in bonuses while we're all here suffering the effects of public sector cuts (cuts, I remind you, made necessary because of the lolly expended as a direct result of the wanking crisis) let's all take our bank accounts for walkies!



Perhaps it wouldn't work. Maybe somebody out there would like to tell me. After all, there's a lot I don't understand about finance and economics. Like why budgets have to be spent (or forfeited) before the end of the financial year (thus compelling the Foreign Office to embark on a campaign of plofligacy even in the midst of the most stringest government cuts for a generation. Did you see that? Sir Andrew Cahn apparently told staff, 'we're heading for an underspend and need to get money out of the door.' A £1 million underspend, to be precise). I mean, if saving for the future is such a good thing - as successive government's keep saying - why aren't they allowed to carry a bit of cash forward into next year's budget? Another thing I don't get about money is why we need - almost as if it's as important as the air we breathe or food we eat - constant economic growth? Ok, so growth is good - but forever?



So as you can see, there's a lot that I don't get. I admit, I might have overlooked some vitally important piece of information. And if I have, please feel free to tell me. In the meantime, a message to my bank manager. I'm watching your bonus, babe. And I've got my account closure letter ready.

Hovis wholemeal challenge

A sponsored post...



Just before Christmas I was invited to take part in a challenge: a breakfast challenge. Hovis sent a couple of their wholemeal loaves, a few other choice ingredients, some interesting recipes and a request that I try them out for a couple of weeks at breakfast. So far, so good. I'm hardly the world's greatest cereal muncher; in fact, I hate the stuff. I'd happily never again pour milk on a bowl of soggy raffle tickets if I could get away with it. But I can't. Because I don't always have the time to rustle up the full Ulster fry. Or the arteries.



But breakfast is the most important meal of the day. That much is true, and I can prove it. There's a very easy psychological experiment you can do which demonstrates with total certainly who in the class has had breakfast and who hasn't. It involves counting a flashing light. Yes, it's that simple. If you've eaten properly, you see better. Bear that in mind if you're in the habit of early morning driving.



But I digress. Where was I? Oh yes, eating breakfast - breakfast involving Hovis wholemeal bread, to be precise. Anyway, having eaten of the loaf that is Hovis I was required then to go through the day as normal and report back each evening detailing what if any snacks I'd eaten mid-morning. (You can have a go at the challenge yourself on the facebook page.) Now if I'd been eating cereal, the mid-morning biscuit barrel would've been depleted. But - surprise, surprise - eating a decent breakfast really did keep me going longer.



You might remember, I've been on a breakfast quest before. I've been on the look-out for something to eat first thing in a morning, something to keep me going, something to stop me snacking, for the best part oftwo years. Have I found it? Well, quite possibly. Because - despite having the choice of fruity yoghurt toast...

Grilled flat mushrooms with poached egg or grilled tomatoes and cream cheese - all on toast, of course - my favourite and most filling of the breakfast recipes was (and still is) the humble boiled egg and toast fingers.



She was right, you know, all those years ago, was Fay Weldon. We should go to work on an egg.  

Sunday supplement

Two items up for review today, neither of which any parent of a newborn can easily do without. First, a baby monitor. Charlie's old one stopped working properly several months ago, so we were delighted to be asked to try out the new Samsung Digital Video Monitor. Alongside (now) standard features such as two-way sound and lullaby player are such goodies as a digital thermometer and - of course - the 3.5" LCD screen which combined with the latest GFSk signal technology allows an interference-free picture of your sleeping darling. And if the monitor isn't quite your cup of tea, the system integrates with applications such as Skype and MSN to allow you to broadcast a live video stream of your little one should you want to. But would you want to? What you might find useful, however, is the ability to connect to your computer, giving you the chance to see what's happening from almost anywhere in the world! And although I haven't (yet) tried it, that might just be necessary because, so far, we've found the Samsung's range to be just a little bit limited.

No such problems with the new tommee tippee® Digital Movement & Sound Monitor however. This system comes with optional sensor pad allowing you to monitor the baby's movements as well as listening to her cries. There is a talk-back feature which means you needn't leave the sofa if all your baby needs is to hear the soothing sound of her parent's voice, and this machine comes with a range we've yet to find the limits of. The blurb says it transmits up to 300 metres, which should be enough for all but the most capacious dwelling, and the Digital Enhanced Cordless Technology (DECT) offers completely interference free monitoring. If I was forced to choose just one baby monitor, this would be it.

Next, perambulators. From birth to about the age of twelve months Charlie's means of transport was the Britax travel system I bought several years ago for Sally and it served him well. It didn't serve us quite as well, being both rather large and heavy and having low, non-adjustable handles. So as soon as we could we bought him a pushchair. Unfortunately that was rather mangled by a certain airline, and we were on the look out for a new one. So when MacLaren asked if we'd like to try the XLR buggy we were only too pleased, because the XLR is suitable from birth. It comes with adjustable handles making for back-ache free pushing even if, like me, you' re 6' 3". It's also light, folds easily and to a small size and yet seems sturdy enough and flexible in terms of its settings to accommodate a tiny newborn baby. I probably wouldn't have chosen this if we'd been shopping for a brand-new set of wheels. Instinctively, I might have plumped for something bigger, stronger, more like the Britax I bought several years ago. But having tried it out we won't be changing anything. It couldn't be more comfortable to push, it's feels safe and secure and yet folds easily away into the boot of almost any car. Highly recommended. 

Ashes to ashes

I'm going to miss the small hours entertainment of the Ashes. Well done England, we knew you could; we might not have been certain that you would; but you did. And it makes you wonder... Well, it makes me wonder - how much sooner might they have done the deed if only they'd had a bit more self-belief? It's taken twenty years for them to think that they can win down-under. Previous England sides have been packed with talent, yet they've been repeatedly rolled over by the reputation of Australia. Some of England's greatest players of the modern era weren't playing in this series: no Flintoff, Vaughan, Trescothick. Others who on their day could be destroyers (and who were in 2005) haven't featured for a while: Simon and Geraint Jones, Matthew Hoggard. And Ricky Ponting still bears the scar given to him at Lords by Steve Harmison. While no-one can decry the cricketing talent of this team, it's their psychological strength which has at last led to them achieving something worthy of their ability.

It's been great listening to the Test Match Special team (yes, even Sir Geoffrey) while Eloise has had a night-time feed. What
I going to do without it?

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone4

Tesco Mum of the Year

It's time to vote for your Tesco Mum of the Year again. I know who mine would be. Mind you, they all deserve an award as far as I'm concerned. I'm so glad I'm just a dad. Isn't that right Matt?

A week is a long time...

... in parenthood.



Seven days ago the four of us were getting ready for a day trip to the coast, to blow away the Christmas cobwebs, have a bit of fresh air, exercise and eat a plate of fish 'n' chips for lunch. You can only have so much turkey after all. (Actually, we didn't have any this year on the grounds that it might not have time to cook and/or defrost. As it happened, we'd have had ample time to consume it at least of couple of incarnations before getting sick of it by Monday, but no matter; we were symbolically sick of it so we went to Skeggy for the day.)



Skegness - it's so bracing, so the saying goes. But little did we know what we were being braced for -  a drug-fuelled all-nighter in the Labour Ward on Monday evening. Or so we thought. In the event, we were there less than an hour before the show was over and it was time for the encore. In the equivalent of graduating from the nursery slopes to off-piste in a single skiing holiday, there was hardly time to draw more than half a dozen breaths of gas-and-air (for me) let alone the two-and-a-half canisters my wife got through last time. I did tentatively suggest that, as it had been so straightforward, we ought to do it again sometime. Perhaps my timing wasn't great.



And now, one week and several dozen friends and relatives (not to mention umpteen packs of nappies) later, things are settling nicely into the inevitable routine - sleep by day, awake all night. Well, not all night. That's a slight exaggeration. After all, there are the feeds. And the nappy-changes. And there's cricket to listen to on the radio. Or at least, there would have been at four a.m. this morning if it hadn't been raining in Sydney. Honestly.



But we wouldn't have it any other way. Would we Charlie?



(This is the first post on my new site WikiDad - think of something that's a cross between WikiLeaks and Wikipedia and you're nowhere near, but do please take a look!)

Happy 2011 Everyone! Rather than hit you with a look back...

Happy 2011 Everyone! Rather than hit you with a look back at the best of 2010 today (should've done that yesterday; too sleep-deprived) I thought I'd tell you - in advance - what's going to happen in 2011. You'll be pleased to know it's going to be a bumper year. And remember, you heard it here first.

January:A brand new social networking app. is launched, and proves to be a big hit. Like Twitter but without the 'T', Witter works along the lines of an old Monty Python sketch with users vying with each other for who has the hardest life, the least sleep, the worst partner and the most smelly dog. Or cat. 

February:Forecasts of the coldest February on record are confounded as Spring comes early. Prince William and Princess-in-waiting Katie shock relatives, friends, governments and nations with their decision to elope to Gretna Green and marry early and in secret.

March:WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange announces he  is about to publish private details of the day-to-days lives of thousands of stay-at-home parents. Shock revelations include what they really feel about each other, their children, Gina Ford, and their partners. In addition, the leaks promise to name-and-shame the most child-unfriendly supermarket parking facilities and the lack of provision for public breastfeeding. 'This is really hot stuff,' claims Assange, before being told that someone has merely passed him a year's digest of UK mummy-blogging.

April:Robbed of the chance of attending the proposed Royal Wedding, writers Caroline Aherne and Craig Cash hire Westminster Abbey for their own Royale Wedding spectacular. Unfortunately the ceremony is marred as a loud cry of 'Marriage? My arse!' echoes round the ancient monument at the moment Antony and Saskia say 'I do'.

May: In an unexpected twist, PR firms change their tactics when approaching parent-bloggers. No longer do their emails all begin with fulsome praise for a blog they've never read and references to children that the blogger doesn't have. Instead, carefully targeted campaigns involve in-depth study and first-hand knowledge of the blogs in question, ensuring no inappropriate placements or reviews are ever suggested. The most successful PR agency under the new arrangements is Flying Pig Promotions.

June:Strictly Come-Dancing host Bruce Forsyth is knighted in the Queen's Birthday Honours in recognition of a fifty-year career in entertainment. (No, that's too far-fetched.)  

July:Following huge success of Cybermummy 2011 the month before, Cyberdaddy 1 is launched amid much initial excitement. Unfortunately, the promise of guest speakers including Jeremy Clarkson and David Beckham fails to materialise and the delegates leave to go the nearest pub when @Dotterel is drafted in as a replacement. 

August:The promise of a barbecue summer proves accurate for once, as the nation basks in record temperatures and unbroken sunshine. Gentle, cooling rain falls at dusk each evening, while the occasional nocturnal deluge refills reservoirs and replenishes aquifers.  

September:At the second annual MADs awards, there is outrage as guest host Andrew Marr asks impertinent questions about the prize-winners' mothers' basements.

October:Parents across the nation are distraught at the news that CBeebies star Justin Fletcher is to leave the channel and move to Hollywood. 'It'll never be the same,' sobs one mum. 'I wanted to have Mr Tumble's babies,' weeps another. Tears are short-lived, however, when his replacement is announced and it is revealed that a new series of Gigglebiz - starring David Tennant in a variety of roles - has been commissioned. 

November:Surprise measures announced in the Queen's Speech indicate the government's plan to re-nationalise the railways under the direction of Sir Topham Hatt. 'It is my government's intention that Percy should pull the mail on time,' Her Majesty intones, 'and that Gordon should thunder down the line. Henry, meanwhile, will toot and huff and puff while Emily demonstrate on a daily basis that she knows her stuff.' 

December:Peter Stingfellow's unexpected invitation to host Strictly Come-Dancing competition backfires when he insists that  the contestants spend the week being carefully styled by Gok Wan before being forced to dance routines involving a fireman's pole. Aliona Vilani goes on to win the competition with her partner, Countryfile's John Craven. 





Happy New Year!

It's a girl...

But then, you probably knew that already. We did. But you can never be certain, can you; not of anything. Or not quite. Because we're pretty certain of one thing. Eloise Rose is the most beautiful little baby girl in the world. And it's not just our opinion.  I mean, have you ever seen two more adoring gazes?



A very special moment at the hospital yesterday morning... Although the attraction of the bedside cabinet proved hard to resist after a while... Perhaps he thinks that's where babies come from?