Christopher Fowler's Blog, page 317

Talent Trickledown: The Next Generation

As mentioned somewhere here before, Talent Trickledown isthe system by which a talented original is subsequently represented by lesser and lesser talented progeny. You start with Pablo Picasso and go down to Paloma Picasso (she has her own scent!), Earnest Hemingway to Mariel Hemingway, Conrad Hilton to (a long drop, this) Paris Hilton. ‘Punch’ columnist [...]

The Flowers That Bloom In The Spring Tra-La

That’s what comes of living in what is euphemistically known as an ‘urban environment’.

Just as it was last year, Central London is in the grip of a false spring, i.e. blazing sunshine, buds popping, 6 degrees in the shade. And in King’s Cross, where the arrival of any flower is greeted by being kicked to [...]

James Bond and The Creeping Landlord

Forgive me for turning this column into the online equivalent of the Antiques Roadshow – I just thought it was an interesting subject.

Had you lived in the latter half of the 19thcentury and gone to an English fair, you might have tried your luck with a sideshow game and won a trinket, a little china [...]

What Women (And Men) Will Do To Get A Date

Dateline London; icy-hearted city of cold hard cash and cruel dispassionate sex.

Female friends of mine have resorted to every kind of ruse you can think of to get a decent date. One pretended to be religious on ChristionConnection (verdict: the men had serious personality disorders), another faked being Jewish on JDate (verdict: she was hoping [...]

Those UKIP Policies In Full

This grinning turnip-faced ninny is the supposedly acceptable far of the new Far Right, who won an unimportant by-election fronted by disgraced criminal Neil Hamilton and his horrendous wife. Since 1991 their only policy has been, basically, ‘Wogs Out’, although they denied they were racist by having Jamaican-born former boxer Winston McKenzie stand in North [...]

My Missing Short Stories

This is a very nice illustration done by Vincent Sammy for a story I wrote called ‘The Curtain Parts’, which appeared in Black Static magazine. As far as I know, nobody ever read it (It’s hard to tell about these things when you don’t get feedback). But it set me thinking. I have had close [...]

Bryant & May And Sod’s Law

Tourism figures are not adjusted according to the size of the country visited, but even so I was surprised by the findings from last year. Topping the list is still France, followed by the US and China, Spain, Italy, Turkey, then the UKand Germany (!). Rather than massively increasing tourism, the Olympics actually put a [...]

My Mentor

‘If five million people love something, you need to know about it’ – so said my mentor, an extraordinary man who had a powerful effect on my life. I’ve now had the chance to write about him in ‘Film Freak’. Here’s a taster;

‘He was the original jazz hands man. He looked like a huge white [...]

Why Is Hollywood Getting Fantasy So Wrong?

It had an ominous start – the premiere of ‘Oz The Great And Powerful’ was supposed to feature a hot air balloon floating above the cinema in Leicester Square, but after the disaster in Egypt it had been cancelled at the last moment.

Pay no attention to the man behind the camera, I found myself thinking [...]

When The Present Rolls Away

I’m researching a new book at the moment, and that involves wandering around London with my mouth hanging open, drinking too many cups of coffee and nearly getting run over a lot. Part of the puzzle is reconnecting London’s absurdly dense and convoluted history with its present-day reality, so I’m grateful for days like yesterday, [...]