John R. Phythyon Jr.'s Blog, page 19

Writing Racists is Uncomfortable

As regular readers of this blog know, I am currently working on the third book in the Wolf Dasher series, Roses Are White. The Wolf Dasher novels are set largely in the elf nation of Alfar. There is a distinctive Middle Eastern feel to the setting. Geographically, it sits in my fictional fantasy world where Africa would in the real world, and the political situation that grips Alfar is very reminiscent of Iraq and Afghanistan.

My protagonist, Wolf Dasher, is a human in a land of elves. He’s a stranger in a strange land, and he manages to infuriate as many people as he helps, despite his best intentions.

The first two books, State of Grace and Red Dragon Five, deal with complicated themes of religious extremism, nationalism, patriotism, loyalty, cultural identity, and faith. They may be action-adventure novels about a spy with super-powers in a fantasy world, but the Wolf Dasher series takes on serious themes.

Roses Are White is no exception, and it tackles head-on a theme that had been brewing subtly in the first two books before coming to a head in this one: racism.

I blogged this past summer about the fallacy that the U.S. is a post-racism nation, and I wrote then that I would be tackling this subject in a forthcoming novel.

As an author, writing this book made me uncomfortable. It’s not that I’m afraid of the topic. I think we need to be talking about it as openly as possible, admitting where we are so we can chart a path to a better place.

But writing fiction is an intimate experience. You get to know your characters. You get inside their heads. You understand what they are feeling — you perceive it closely.

And writing from a racist’s point of view is uncomfortable. I don’t like thinking like someone who hates someone solely for being different, for being Other.

Roses Are White introduces a new racial slur. The word, snavrek, is coined by one of the novel’s villains, Celindra Gladheart. It translates from Elfin literally as “pale demon,” and it’s used to refer to humans. Elves in Wolf’s world are dark-skinned, while humans are lightly complected. Thus, it’s easy to tell the two apart, even without the elves’ pointy ears.

I haven’t done a word count to see how many times snavrek and its plural snavrekin are used in the manuscript. But it’s a lot. Wolf is referred to as or directly called a snavrek regularly. He’s hated not just because he’s human but also because he is dating an elf. Many, including his girlfriend’s brother, are disgusted by the very idea of her being with a human. In fact, his hatred of May’s relationship with Wolf contributes to her brother Gavric’s becoming radicalized and doing something very destructive later in the book.

There is one scene in the novel that really captures the ugliness of racism well. Wolf is out walking when he comes across three teenaged elves, harassing a female elf who is obviously from the opposite religious sect as they. They bully her and imply they will violate her, because of who she is and what she believes. The scene takes place at a market, and, despite virtually everyone watching the altercation, no one steps in to help.

Until Wolf comes along. Disgusted with their bigotry, he orders them to stop. When they see they are being accosted by a human — by a snavrek — they become enraged. A fight ensues, and Wolf manages to defeat them. When he tries to help their victim, though, she calls him a snavrek and runs off. He may have saved her, but she doesn’t want some filthy human touching her.

Roses Are White is easily the most uncomfortable I’ve even been writing a novel. To make it feel “right,” I imagined what it would sound like if, instead of snavrek, some other racial epithet were being used. I imagined if, instead of humans, it were African-Americans or Hispanics or Muslims who were the object of the hatred. And that infused the scenes with the proper vitriol, passion, and bigotry.

But it made me extremely discomfited. I didn’t like putting myself in the heads of people who think that way. It’s not who I am, who I ever was, or who I want to be.

I am hopeful that , when the book is published, we will see ourselves in it and decide this isn’t who we want to be. We will choose to become better that we are.

For we are a great people, and we have come a long way. But we have a longer way to go.

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The first two books in the Wolf Dasher series are available now. Blending James Bond-style action with a traditional fantasy world and thoughtful thematic content, the Wolf Dasher novels feature stories both familiar and fresh.

State of Grace is just $2.99 for your Kindle at Amazon.com. Click on the links below to purchase State of Grace and Red Dragon Five.

Click here to purchase State of Grace from Amazon.com.

Click here to purchase Red Dragon Five from Amazon.com.

Crafting a Perfect Foil Part 1: Devon Middleton

Every protagonist needs a good foil — someone to make the reader laugh or cry, to provide contrast to the hero’s struggle.

My latest novel, The Sword and the Sorcerer, has two. They’re very different, but they both have important roles to play in the story thematically and plot-wise.

Today, I’ll focus on the larger of the two, Devon Middleton, former soldier, courtier to Duke Boordin of Dalasport, and, most importantly, my main character Calibot’s lover.

A Softer Side

The principal purpose of a foil is to provide contrast to the hero, and Devon does that largely on an emotional level. Calibot is fiery and passionate. Devon is calm. Calibot is angry and frustrated. Devon is soothing and supportive. At times, Calibot is reckless. Devon is thoughtful.

Throughout the novel, Devon stands as a rock for Calibot, who is pulled in myriad directions by the grief and anger he feels at the loss of his father. Estranged from him for five years, Calibot is already in pain over his failed relationship, when his father’s death exacerbates these feelings. But Devon knows how to cool the flames of Calibot’s grief.

Devon leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. Then he sat back and stroked his face.

“I’m so sorry, my love,” he soothed. “How terrible it must be to not feel your father’s love.

“But feel mine. I love you. I love you more than anyone ever has or anyone ever will.  I’m yours, Calibot. I always will be.”

Calibot stared back with tears in his eyes. Devon always knew what to say to ease the pain, salve the wound.

Wisdom and Insight

Calibot is a poet. He is a member of Duke Boordin’s court, but he knows almost nothing about politics or strategy. His job is to entertain.

Devon, on the other hand, was a soldier for the duke before becoming an advisor. That makes him an important asset to Calibot when the two are drawn into an assassination plot designed to change the balance of power. While Calibot is wrapped in the grief of the news of his father’s death and his assignment of the morbid task of recovering the body and laying it to rest, Devon is thinking about the implications.

The quartermaster turned away and trudged back into his storeroom. Devon proffered the breastplate again.

“I’m not wearing that,” Calibot said.

“Just try it on.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Devon said as though it should be obvious, “you are traveling to Eldenberg to recover the body of the most powerful magician in the Known World. Said wizard was murdered, which means whoever did so is very dangerous. You need to look as if you are not to be trifled with and that you have the full backing of the Duke of Dalasport. You need the Council of Elders to take you seriously, Calibot. That means looking like a warrior with friends in high places.”

Calibot looked at him in surprise. He hadn’t considered any of this, and here was Devon taking charge and acting like he knew what he was doing.

“I still don’t understand,” he said.

“Calibot,” Devon said, “this was almost certainly a political murder, an assassination. Whoever did this will assume you have the backing of Zod the Fearless. They clearly think they can take him. But if you make it appear that you have not only the support of Zod’s army, but Duke  Boordin’s as well, they’ll have to think carefully about whether to oppose you.”

Calibot needs someone to think strategically for him. He has no experience in that arena. Without Devon, he’d be lost.

Moral Compass

As the narrative unfolds, Calibot changes. His father, the world’s most powerful sorcerer, is manipulating him from beyond the grave. A sinister and subtle spell slowly transforms Calibot from naive poet to calculating conqueror.

Devon is distraught at this metamorphosis. The person Calibot becomes is not the one he fell in love with. Rather than abandon him, though, Devon resolves to stick by the man he loves. He is wise enough to suspect there may be magic involved, and Devon is determined to break the spell.

[Devon] felt blindsided. Suddenly, Calibot had a grasp of strategy and tactics. His mind — once warm and creative — was now cold and calculating. What did he need Devon for? He didn’t need a military advisor, and he didn’t act like he wanted love — not that Devon was interested in this strange person Calibot had become.

He decided, though, that Calibot needed a conscience. Whatever had happened, whatever spell Gothemus Draco had cast on him, Calibot needed someone telling him right from wrong. He’d lost that compass. The murder of the gate guard proved that.

Devon would see this through to the end. Calibot’s soul depended on it.

Once again, Devon provides contrast. At first, he is the wise one. As Calibot changes, he becomes the moral one — the character who tries to steer his friend, the hero, onto the right path.

Foils complement the protagonist of a story. They cover weaknesses and enrich the narrative  with a style that differs markedly from the hero. Devon Middleton is the perfect foil for Calibot. He offers love and wisdom to a hurting young man faced with an horrific task.

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The Sword and the Sorcerer is available now. Click on the links below to purchase it. Twenty percent of the sales benefit Freedom to Marry, the national campaign for marriage equality.

Click to purchase the Kindle edition from Amazon.com.

Click to purchase eBook formats from Smashwords.com.

Click to purchase the print edition CreateSpace.com.

Top Ten: Some things no one tells you about writing

Reblogged from C h a z z W r i t e s . c o m:

1. Nobody cares about your book at first, even if you think they should. Even if you think they care about you, they're indifferent. It's maddening. For you, each book is a magical dream made real. For them, "Nice hobby, but so what?" 

2. Since typing looks a lot like writing to the casual observer, you don't get extra respect for being a writer from a lot of people.

Read more… 634 more words

This is absolutely spot-on and applies to more than writing.

Killing Recurring Characters Hurts

Killing is part of the business when you are a thriller writer. People die in thrillers all the time. They also die a lot in fantasy novels. I write fantasy-thriller mash-ups, so, yeah, a lot of people die.

I don’t know how many characters have been killed in the Wolf Dasher series. I’m only two books into it, but a lot of people have met their ends as the result of the action. I’m not going to go back and count, but I’m sure the number is high.

So it’s strange that I’m feeling so badly about a couple of deaths in Roses Are White, the third book in the series, which I began writing in October and which is now in my editor’s hands.

Both are major plot points in the novel. The third installment in the series finds Wolf Dasher racing against time to stop the world’s most deadly assassin from killing key individuals and toppling Alfar’s government in the process. Naturally, to raise the tension, the killer claims a couple victims along the way.

I’d planned this from the beginning. When I plotted out the novel, I’d decided these characters were going to die.

But now that I’ve done it, I feel regretful.

The issue is that these are recurring characters. Because this was the third book in the series, I didn’t think it would read very authentically if I suddenly introduced two new important characters and then immediately killed them off. Why wouldn’t we have seen these characters before, I wondered. Answer: Because I needed someone to kill. That felt like a cop out.

Furthermore, I wanted to increase the sense of danger. I wanted the reader’s heart to be pounding every time we get inside the killer’s mind. Who is he going to murder? If I’m willing to kill one character you’ve gotten to know over the course of the two previous novels, who might I be willing to take out next? And if I kill two characters you know, would I be willing to go for three?

That sense of danger raises the tension in the novel. It makes the reader want to keep turning pages. It’s an excellent literary device.

But I still feel like crap for using it. I liked these people. They were fun to write. How could I do that to them?

I suppose I could go back and change it. I’m only two drafts into this novel.

But that wouldn’t feel right either. That would be cheating. It would be inauthentic.

So I guess I’m a murderer — a callous killer, who shamelessly offs characters for the simple expediency of what’s best for the narrative structure of a book.

At least I’ll understand my villains a little better.

Creating a True Villain — The Absentee Father

As I noted in my last blog on The Sword and the Sorcerer (You’ve got your copy, right? It’s only $4.99 and 20% of the sales benefit Freedom to Marry.), the plague of the modern hero seems to be daddy issues. It’s the rare protagonist who doesn’t have some sort of damaged relationship with his or her father.

While I wasn’t trying to ride the wave of the current heroic zeitgeist, I did make the failed relationship between Calibot and his father a central theme in The Sword and the Sorcerer. Last week I blogged about keeping Calibot sympathetic. Today, I want to look at the source of his angst — Gothemus Draco, the titular sorcerer and Calibot’s father.

The Power of Paternity

Fathering a child — by which I mean actually raising and parenting, not just siring — is an awesome responsibility. I have three children of my own, and they all have different needs, different personalities, and different interests. Parenting them as a group is difficult, because the approach for each is unique. What works for one doesn’t work for another.

However, despite needing different things from me as a role model and authority figure, they all three need me and want me. They desire me in their lives (even when they say they don’t), and they get angry if they perceive me treating one of them better.

I think it is an exceptionally rare individual who understands this before having children. We all want our parents. We want their love, we want their approval, and we want the security those things provide.

Thus, absentee parents are real villains. They leave holes in their children. They leave them unfulfilled in a profound way.

Gone and Omnipresent

The dreadful irony of absentee parents is that they are both not there for their children and constantly haunting them. The kid cannot get away from the anguish of missing the parent.

This is Calibot’s dilemma. He is so angry with Gothemus he wants nothing to do with him as an adult. But he can’t escape the misery of his father’s absence. Early in the novel, his boyfriend Devon suggests Calibot’s poetry is a kind of sorcery, a comment that makes Calibot think of his father, and it angers him.

Devon should know better. He knew damned well how Calibot felt [about his father], and [Devon] calling him a sorcerer was just about as mean a thing as Calibot could imagine .

An innocent comment intended as a compliment instead causes a negative reaction in Calibot. This is the legacy of a father who was never there but is constantly missed.

Feeling a Presence

Gothemus Draco is the largest character in the book, and that’s an interesting fact, given that he dies at the very beginning of the novel. He doesn’t even say anything before his death. The novel opens with his succumbing to poison. He casts one final spell and chuckles before expiring, but he doesn’t actually say anything.

But Gothemus is larger than life. Not only did his absentee parenting haunt his son, he shaped the balance of power in the world. His reputation is legendary. Everyone Calibot meets in the story has heard of his father, and many people actually knew him. Gothemus Draco is everywhere, even in death.

Except for the one place Calibot wanted him: his life.

Everywhere Calibot goes, he hears about what a great man his father was. He hears it from his patron; he hears it from his father’s failed apprentice; he hears it from his uncle; he hears it, however disingenuously, from the people who murdered him. Calibot can’t go anywhere without his father’s legend intruding on his consciousness.

And that infuriates him, because that reputation doesn’t jive with the person Calibot knew. As a youth, Calibot wanted to become a poet, not a magician like his father. But Gothemus didn’t respect that. He kept trying to make Calibot a sorcerer and took no interest in his poetry. When he was old enough, Calibot left home. His father never tried to get in touch, causing Calibot to infer Gothemus didn’t care what he was doing or what happened to him. It’s a terrible, sad burden that drives Calibot to self-loathing and confusion.

Manipulation

Gothemus is also the most sinister kind of absentee parent. He was never there for Calibot growing up (except as a provider), but he wants Calibot to follow his dictates as an adult. He wants Calibot to become the important world figure Gothemus always envisioned.

To that end, he manipulates his son, even after his own death. He bequeaths Calibot a magical sword and leaves orders for Calibot to lay his body to rest. These innocuous instructions disguise a spell designed to force Calibot into the role Gothemus wants for him.

Throughout the novel, Calibot and his companions are having to unravel riddles Gothemus has left behind. Each moves them a step closer to Calibot completing the destiny Gothemus had in mind. It’s insidious and disgusting, and it wreaks further emotional havoc on Calibot. Already grieving the absence of his father’s love and the fact that he’ll never get to reconcile (since his father is dead), Calibot is forced to relive his unhappy childhood. Gothemus constantly taught through riddles, and he forces Calibot to do it all over again after his death.

This is the real crime of the absentee father — it’s all about him. During Calibot’s childhood, Gothemus was too busy and too focused on his own business to take any interest in Calibot’s passions. After he left home, Gothemus didn’t care enough to reach out to reconcile. He was too busy or too angry or too disinterested to make any effort. And then, after his death, he tries to make Calibot do what Gothemus wants instead of leaving Calibot to his own self-chosen destiny.

The absentee father sends the message that the child is not important. Only the father is. And Calibot is typical of these type of children and learns the lesson well, engaging in self-loathing.

Gothemus Draco is a poor father. But it doesn’t matter how bad he is; Calibot still wants his love. He spends the novel attempting to exorcise this particular demon. He has to learn that the fault in the failed relationship is his father’s, not his. It’s a challenge all poorly parented children face. Hopefully some of them will find comfort in Calibot’s journey.

The Sword and the Sorcerer is available in both eBook and print format. Twenty percent of the sales benefit Freedom to Marry, the campaign to win marriage equality nationwide. Click on the links below to get it.

Amazon.com

Smashwords.com

Print Edition

Rewriting Offers Surprise Changes

Rewriting is an interesting process. Things change.

That’s sort of the point of it, I guess — you’re making changes to the manuscript. But sometimes change is unexpected.

I’m currently working on the second draft of Roses Are White, the third Wolf Dasher novel. I’m hoping to be done tomorrow, so I can get it off to the editor at the end of the week.

My second-draft process goes like this. I print and read the first draft, making editorial notes in the margins as I go. Then I reread the manuscript on the computer, making changes both that I’ve noted in the MS and ones I find as I’m reading.

It’s that second category that often surprises me. You’d think I’d find the changes I want to make on that first read-through. But writing, like any creative endeavor, is evolutionary. New ideas occur as you craft and shape. That’s why I don’t just go through the electronic MS putting in the changes I noted in printed. I read it again.

The plot of Roses Are White concerns the world’s most infamous assassin, Dexter Rose, murdering three members of Alfar’s coalition government. He’s pulled off the first killing and Wolf Dasher is investigating the scene in Chapter 20, trying to find clues that will help him catch Rose before he can strike again.

If you haven’t read the previous books, one of Wolf’s special powers is post-cognitive vision. He can see past events by “reading” objects used in them. Dexter Rose always leaves a white rose as his signature when he performs an assassination. Wolf uses his ability to “read” the rose at the first murder for clues.

In the vision Wolf receives, Rose purchases the flower from a certain florist and then takes it back to his apartment, retrieves the note he plans to leave at the murder, and leaves again. From a structural point of view, the scene is critical, because it tells Wolf where Rose is headquartered, so he can try to catch him. But from a logical point of view, I had to ask myself, why would Dexter Rose go back to the apartment for the note? Why wouldn’t he have brought it with him, so he could go straight to the assassination?

In the first draft, I decided he had made a mistake. He’d forgotten the note. Wolf is amazed at this development and is hopeful of catching him, since, it seems, even the great Dexter Rose is capable of a slip-up.

That explanation worked well enough, and, when I read the print copy of the MS, I didn’t think twice about it. I just noted a few typos.

But here’s the thing. Dexter Rose is human. He’s attempting to assassinate three elves in a nation of elves. He’s a master of disguise, using magic to make himself look like whomever he wants.

When he commits the first murder, he poses as an elfin palace servant to sneak into a guard’s quarters, put him to sleep and steal his uniform. So he’s posing as an elf (two actually) when he commits the crime.

But Wolf’s vision shows Rose posing as a human soldier, who tells the florist he needs the flower for his girlfriend. After buying it, he goes back to the apartment, retrieves the note, and leaves again.

So when does he disguise himself as an elf?

Something had to change. The fix was easy enough to figure out. Instead of Rose making a mistake, I had it all be purposeful. Rose poses as the human soldier and buys the flower. Then he returns to his flat and transforms himself into the palace servant disguise. He takes the flower and the note and goes to the palace, where he then surprises the guard, takes him out, changes disguises, and commits the murder.

That made a lot more sense to me. It had better logic than the world’s greatest assassin making a dumb mistake. It also explained when he put on his disguise.

But that left technical problems. First, I had to rewrite the vision to accommodate the new action. Two chapters after reading the rose, Wolf investigates the apartment. In the first draft, he makes an important discovery about Rose’s disguises. But, with the vision changing, he’d have known that information before going to the apartment.

So I had to take information that was originally revealed in Chapter 22 and move it forward to Chapter 20. Then, when it was time to rewrite Chapter 22, I had to make changes to what Wolf actually discovers at the apartment.

Rewriting is a tricky business. It’s sort of like pulling threads. Change one thing, and, suddenly, you’ve got other things to alter too.

But, frankly, this is what I think is fun about the writing process. Its the crafting and the shaping and the tinkering that make a novel good. Roses Are White is already a better book, because I found this little fix.

This is what rewriting is all about — making it better. You don’t always see a change coming, but that doesn’t make it any less fun.

Balancing Darkness and Light: Keeping a Tortured Protagonist Sympathetic

Tortured heroes are all the rage these days, and tortured heroes with daddy issues have become so common my wife sometimes asks, “Are there any superheroes who had a good relationship with their parents?”

There is just something about the modern mindset that seems to indicate you can only become a hero if there was something missing from your relationship with your father.

My most recent hero, Calibot, has a similar problem in The Sword and the Sorcerer. His father is the greatest wizard in the Known World, the very architect of the precarious balance of power. He’s always been disappointed in his son for wanting to become a poet instead of a magician. When he’s murdered, he bequeaths Calibot two of the most powerful artifacts in creation, forcing his son onto the world stage — a place Calibot does not want to be.

The Sword and the Sorcerer is very much a story about unfulfilled reconciliation and resentment towards one’s parents. Calibot is really angry with his father for not accepting him for whom he wants to be.

But writing a novel like that is tricky. It’s very easy to make the protagonist whiny, mean, or otherwise unlikeable and, worse, unsympathetic.

So how did I approach crafting Calibot into someone I hoped my readers could identify with? There were several approaches I took to making him a person with whom the reader sympathizes instead of loathes.

Establish Happiness

People like happy people. Being around someone who is in a good mood makes you smile. So the first key to making Calibot sympathetic was to establish him as basically happy.

When the novel opens, he is the poet laureate to the Duke of Dalasport. He is debuting the third canto of his comic epic. It’s going very well. Everyone is laughing, and his boyfriend is proud of him. In fact, the relationship is an important part of Calibot’s happiness:

He shot a glance at Devon, whose rich, brown eyes practically glowed with admiration and joy. . . . No one had ever looked at Calibot with that much pride and desire. Calibot felt his heart flutter.

Devon makes him happy. The duke is extremely pleased with the poem and demands the next canto as quickly as possible. Calibot has everything he could ever want — love and success.

But when his father enters the picture — both when someone brings him up and when Calibot learns of his murder and his being required to retrieve the body and lay it to rest — he darkens. There is contrast. When his father isn’t involved, Calibot is happy. When the ghosts of the past creep in, his joy vanishes.

Manipulation

As the narrative unfolds, it becomes increasingly obvious that Calibot is being manipulated from beyond the grave by his father. Enchantments on the sword Calibot is bequeathed seem to be shaping his actions and decisions. However subtly, Calibot appears to be controlled. Worse, Calibot knows it and doesn’t know what to do about it:

“Calibot,” Devon said, “has it occurred to you that you may be under a spell?”

His eyes flew open at the suggestion. Then he looked shocked.

“Of course!” he said, and Devon believed him. . . . “Don’t you think all this has occurred to me? I know he’s manipulating me. It’s his last, sad insult!”

“Then why do as he wants?”

“Because I don’t think I have a choice!” he shouted. “I’m not sure he’s just manipulating me; he might be controlling me.”

Because some of Calibot’s actions are outside his own control and because he’s aware and afraid of what’s happening, we root for him to figure out how to beat it instead of loathing him for what he does. Calibot becomes a victim we want to see vindicated.

Multiple Personalities

As this manipulation proceeds over the course of the story, Calibot becomes more aware of it. But especially at first, he doesn’t understand what’s happening to him. His personality changes to the cold-hearted executor of his father’s plans.

But, periodically, he slips back to himself. He is shocked out of who is becoming to be who he wants. When he first triggers the sword’s abilities, Calibot goes from being angry and bloody-minded to terrified:

Calibot looked alarmed and tossed the sword to the ground. It clattered on the stone floor, and the flames went out. Everyone stared at it, astonished.

“How did you do that?” Liliana whispered.

Calibot turned and looked at her with fear in his eyes.

“I didn’t do it,” he said. “I didn’t even know it was happening.”

He turned and looked back at Devon. The Calibot Devon knew was back. All the anger was gone. His eyes were bright blue again. The luster was back in his hair, the color in his skin.

But he looked terrified. He was shaking. His eyes pleaded with Devon to make it better.

“What’s happening to me?” he said.

Just as we’re beginning to think Calibot is some sort of jerk, we realize there are two Calibots — the one who is being forced to fulfill a destiny he doesn’t want, and the person he wants to be. His fear at what’s happening makes us care for him, makes us want to see him overcome this darkness.

Other Perspectives

I shift point-of-view frequently in The Sword and the Sorcerer. In addition to getting inside the heads of the bad guys as they try to pull off their schemes, I spend a lot of time in Devon’s point of view.

He is with Calibot almost constantly throughout the novel, and he knows Calibot better than any of the others. Devon’s perspective on who Calibot is — both the real Calibot and the person he is becoming — is critical to reminding the reader the protagonist is the good guy. Calibot is by no means an antihero, and Devon’s view of him keeps us grounded in his worth. He laments what is happening:

Calibot wasn’t his usual self. That much was obvious.

Devon couldn’t help but worry. Ever since he’d learned of his father’s death, Calibot had become a shell of himself. The clever, funny Calibot was gone. His replacement was cold, distant, and angry.

Devon specifically notes the absence of all the things that made him fall in love with Calibot, the things that make Calibot a likeable character. When Calibot promises vengeance on Eldenberg’s Council of Elders if they were responsible for his father’s murder, the pain is even deeper:

Devon wanted to weep at the sight of him. . . . This was not Calibot, Poet Laureate to His Majesty Duke Boordin’s Court in Dalasport. This was someone Devon had never seen before — the son of Gothemus Draco.

But as he watches Calibot sink deeper into the throes of his father’s spell, Devon is determined that the good man Calibot truly is will not be lost. He’s going to fight to preserve him:

He decided, though, that Calibot needed a conscience. Whatever had happened, whatever spell Gothemus Draco had cast on him, Calibot needed someone telling him right from wrong. He’d lost that compass. . . .

Devon would see this through to the end. Calibot’s soul depended on it.

Devon’s devotion to Calibot is important on several levels. First, throughout the novel, Devon is good, decent, loving, and loyal. By establishing him as upstanding and forthright, I sanction Devon’s interpretation of Calibot’s true character.

Second, for Devon to be this good a person and to stick by Calibot despite the darkness his love is falling into, we believe Calibot must be truly a fine person himself. How else could he have earned the love of someone as decent as Devon?

Moreover, Devon is willing to fight for Calibot’s future. He is determined to save him from this strange magic that is attempting to destroy him. Thus, through Devon, we recognize Calibot as a sympathetic character. We want him to conquer the darkness enshrouding him — for his sake and for Devon’s.

It’s a tricky matter writing a novel with a protagonist battling through feelings of anger, loss, and unfulfilled reconciliation. It is easy to make him or her descend into self-flagellation, whining, and other grim behavior en route to being a thoroughly unsympathetic character readers will hate. To keep Calibot out of that trap, I rely on multiple tactics to make readers root for him.

After all, he is the hero. He should have a few fans.

The Sword and the Sorcerer is available in print and eBook formats. Click on the links below to purchase it. Twenty percent of the sales benefit Freedom to Marry, the campaign to win marriage equality nationwide.

Kindle Edition

Smashwords Edition

Print Edition

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Kindle Countdown Deals not as Good as Free Was

In November, Amazon.com announced a new promotional plan — Kindle Countdown Deals. The idea is, if your book is enrolled in KDP Select, you can put it on sale for as little as 99 cents, keep your 70% royalty, and have it run for up to seven days. Amazon puts a countdown clock on the sale to increase the urgency to buy, and you can even have the sale go in increments — “buy now before the price increases to $1.99″, etc.

I decided to take advantage of this program for the Christmas shopping season. I put a different book on sale for four days, Monday through Thursday, in each of the first three weeks of December. Then I offered a short story free on Fridays.

Unfortunately, I got terribly sick those first two weeks of December, so I was unable to do any of the support marketing I had planned to call attention to my deals. Thus, my numbers were very bad. That needs to be taken into consideration with this analysis.

However, there were some very instructive facts to be gleaned from this particular experiment. I’ll outline my methodology  and then look at results.

The Plan

As I mentioned, I put a different book on sale each week. Beauty & the Beast: A Modern Fairy Tale was discounted the first week of December, State of Grace the second week, and Red Dragon Five the third. B&B and SoG retail for $2.99. RD5 goes for $4.99.

I opted not only to experiment by putting a different book on sale each week, I played around with the pricing increments. I set Beauty & the Beast: A Modern Fairy Tale at 99 cents Monday through Wednesday and $1.99 on Thursday. State of Grace ran at 99 cents on Monday and Tuesday, and at $1.99 on Wednesday and Thursday. Red Dragon Five was $1.99 on Monday, $2.99 on Tuesday and Wednesday, and $3.99 on Thursday.

The Results

As I mentioned sales were disappointing overall, and I blame myself for that mostly, since I did very little to bring awareness to the discounts. I’ve heard similar things from other authors, which suggests, unsurprisingly, that you have to advertise if you want to move units. It’s a crowded market.

But the way the sales I did get came in was the interesting part. In the three days Beauty & the Beast: A Modern Fairy Tale sold for 99 cents, I moved nine copies. As soon as the price went up — even to the still-discounted rate of $1.99 — sales stopped.

State of Grace had similar results. I moved five copies at 99 cents and one at $1.99.

And Red Dragon Five? One copy at $1.99, none at any other price increment.

I think that demonstrates a couple of things. First, the sliding-scale price increment is worthless. Consumers only want the book at the lowest price you are willing to offer. Trying to have a countdown (countup?) to regular price is a failed tactic. As soon as the price goes up, sales stop. So run your event at the lowest price you are willing to sell for the entire time. Don’t waste your effort on increments.

Second, 99 cents is the new free. Free events are pretty well dead, and Amazon has convinced the discount sites to make sure they are pushing cheap books instead of free ones. That’s good in one respect.

However, based on my experience, it seems pretty clear that 99 cents generates sales. $1.50, $1.99, $2.99 do not. When you’re having a sale, consumers expect to pay no more than a buck for your book.

Now, I’ll reiterate that my sales were low, which was due to the fact that I didn’t advertise. Therefore, it’s dangerous to infer too much from such a tiny sample size.

But I have heard similar things from other authors.

Verdict

THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER may have done more for sales.

It’s really too early to render anything absolute yet, but I am at least tentatively concluding that Kindle Countdown Deals are not the boon to sales that free events were last year. I’ve sold a copy of State of Grace and had it borrowed since the sale. I sold another copy of Red Dragon Five. But I haven’t seen much in the way of residual sales since I ran my events. In fact, I attribute late December sales to the other books riding the coattails of The Sword and the Sorcerer, which launched on Christmas Day.

There are things to like about Kindle Countdown Deals. Keeping the 70% royalty instead of having to drop to 35% for pricing under $2.99 and the countdown clock are very nice features. But are they enough to warrant staying enrolled in KDP Select? I’m not sure.

I need to do some more experimentation, and I need to hear more about other authors’ experiences. (Please leave a comment below if you’ve tried running a Kindle Countdown Deal, discussing your results.) I’m releasing a new Wolf Dasher book in a few months. I’ll likely use the countdown sales to promote it. The results will tell me whether I should keep the series enrolled in Select or not.

(Well) After NaNoWriMo: Editing my First Draft

If you follow this blog regularly, you know that I used National Novel Writing Month to pen the third book in the Wolf Dasher series, Roses Are White. (You also know I overdid it and made myself terribly sick for the better part of two weeks.)

The thing about writing a novel (that they often don’t tell you for NaNoWriMo) is that you’re not done when you finish your first draft. The initial writing of the book is the hard part, but your work is really only beginning when you finally type, “The End.” Of the three novels, one novella, and three short stories I’ve published since becoming an independent author, every one of them has gone through a minimum of five drafts before release. Authoring a book is as much about rewriting as it is writing.

Yesterday, I finished reading and editing the first draft of Roses Are White. I never let anyone read my first drafts. It’s not so much shame or ritual as it is practical. I don’t want someone else to read it before I’ve had a chance to look at it myself, and, when I inevitably find things that need fixing, there doesn’t seem to be a point to letting someone else read it before I address them.

Frankly, my first drafts always contain the seed of a good novel (if they didn’t, I wouldn’t finish), but, like any first draft, they are usually clunky. There are story elements that need smoothing out. There are structural issues that require adjustment. There are typos and continuity errors. When I’m writing, I just focus on getting the story told, figuring I’ll fix problems in my later drafts.

So I was very pleased upon reading Roses Are White to find it in pretty good shape. The plot is not as action-packed as the two previous Dasher novels, and I was worried while I was writing that the book would be slow and need some real tuning. But as I read through it, I found the pacing to be swift and interesting. While Wolf is the main character, I deviate from his point of view a lot more frequently than I did in the first two books, and that enabled me to introduce numerous subplots and keep things fresh.

As I read on, it became obvious to me exactly when I became obsessed with trying to finish the book before the end of November and when I fell ill. Not only does the pace of the storytelling pick up in the last 10 to 12 chapters, so do the writing errors. My brain moves faster than my fingers when I type, and I often skip over articles and prepositions. But in the last quarter of the novel, I was forgetting bigger, more important words. In the last five chapters — those written while I was getting sick and recovering — I typed the completely wrong word several times per chapter. It was clear my concentration had deteriorated.

That led to a few structural issues too. The final three chapters barrel swiftly towards the climax, weaving together three different plot threads. Ordinarily, I would shift back and forth between scenes and points of view, cliffhanging each one and shortening the chapters to create excitement that makes the reader want to keep turning pages.

This time, my mania to finish was so strong (both pre- and post-fever) I wrote long chapters to get from the start of a scene to the end, staying in the same POV. The end of the book is still exciting, but it needs some tuning up. Chapter 37 deals with Wolf trying to thwart Dexter Rose, the villain, Chapter 38 focuses on Dragonblade’s quest to find Mother Gladheart, and Chapter 39 is all about Wolf’s climactic battle with Rose. I’ll be breaking those longer chapters up and weaving the scenes back and forth so that it reads more breathlessly.

But all that said, Roses Are White is a pretty strong novel for a first draft. That I was able to pull that off when I was obsessing on word counts and daily production is pretty amazing to me. At almost 100,000 words, Roses Are White is also the longest book in the Wolf Dasher series, which also seems incredible given that I was madly trying to get it written in a finite period of time.

Perhaps the best part of reading through that first draft, though, was that I did not get sick. I had a head cold courtesy of my mother, who brought it with her when she visited for Christmas, and that delayed the start of reading/editing the book for the first two days. But, once I began, no illness arose to smite me.

So now it’s time to start the second draft. That happens today. I’m really looking forward to it. I’ll post here on my progress.

THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER in Print

Well, it took a little longer than I anticipated, but the print edition of The Sword and the Sorcerer is now available. If you prefer the old-fashioned feeling of holding a book in your hands, you can now get it with my latest novel.

Like the eBook editions, I’ll be donating 20% of the profits to Freedom to Marry, so you’ll also be able to help me do some good by making that purchase. And I’ve enrolled the Kindle edition in Amazon’s matchbook program, so, if you buy the print edition, you can get it for your Kindle at reduced price.

Need more incentive? Here’s the book description to remind you what the book’s about. Enjoy and thanks for your support!

He wanted his father’s love. What he got instead will change the world. Gothemus Draco – world’s most powerful sorcerer – is dead. Locked away in his tower are the tools for total domination of every city-state in the Known World. The person who possesses them can become a king, and everyone, it seems, has a claim – his warlord brother, the fairy from whom he stole a powerful artifact, even the sorceress who murdered him.

But the man who shaped the balance of power through wizardry isn’t done playing games with world politics. Just because Gothemus is dead doesn’t mean he doesn’t still have plans. Against all understanding, his magic lives on after his demise, preventing anyone from breaking into the tower.

Meanwhile, he’s left a gift for his son Calibot – Wyrmblade. The legendary dragon sword makes its wielder nearly invincible, and Gothemus has enchanted it with all sorts of new abilities.

But Calibot wants nothing to do with Wyrmblade or his father. He’s a poet with a powerful patron, and he’s been estranged from his father for years. All he desires is a peaceful life of composing verse and to one day marry the man he loves – a former soldier and advisor to the duke.

He may have no choice, though. Gothemus decreed Calibot should retrieve his body and lay him to rest. All signs point to a mysterious destiny Gothemus designed that Calibot cannot avoid.

With only the aid of his true love and his father’s inept apprentice, Calibot must leave the safety of his life at court and venture to the stronghold of those who murdered Gothemus, retrieve the body, and return it to his tower. Everyone with a stake in the future of the Known World will try to stop him, and Calibot must take care he doesn’t lose his life . . . or his soul!

The Sword and the Sorcerer is a full-length fantasy novel by the author of the Wolf Dasher series. Set against a backdrop of magic and dragons, of betrayal and greed, it is a story of one man’s journey to lay his father – and his inner demons – to rest.

Twenty percent of the profits from the sale of this book will benefit Freedom to Marry, the campaign to win marriage equality rights nationwide.

Get the print edition here!