Gerry Alanguilan's Blog, page 7

One Week In Paris

(Photos on this article can be clicked for larger images)

Immediately after leaving Algiers, Ilyn and I went to Paris for a week at the invitation of Serge Ewenczyk of Editions Çà et Là, the French publisher of Elmer. We were of course, very excited to go to Paris. More than anything else in the world, this is where I really wanted to visit for much of my entire life. Paris has lived in my imagination as a beautiful place of art, architecture and history, an almost mythical, legendary place that could not possibly exist except in books, movies, comics, and TV. It was very much like Valinor, impossibly far away, tantalizingly unattainable.

And yet there we were on a plane, supposedly going to a place called “Paris” but even then it was so difficult to believe.

The intense cold that greeted us upon alighting the plane was the first indication that we were actually there. I asked Ilyn, “Did you feel that? DID YOU FEEL THAT??” It was just too much excitement to contain.

We were greeted by Serge and brought us to our hotel, still buzzed, still kind of disbelieving, but sort of tired. Nevertheless, we ventured out into the cold Paris streets immediately. It was around 9 in the evening and it was biting cold. We quickly realized our flimsy jackets simply weren’t enough. But we went walking the streets anyway, full of stars and wonder in our eyes.

Our hotel was wonderfully located within old Paris, along Rue de Rivoli. It was walking distance to the Notre Dame, Bastille and the Louvre Museum. The Arc de Triomphe and the Eiffel Tower were within easy access of the Metro, Paris’s subway system. After an hour or so of walking, we decided to retire back to our hotel, and planned what we would do for the week. First order of business was to get a couple of scarves for ourselves.

The following day Serge brought us to one of the branches of France’s biggest book store chains and showed me the huge and I mean HUGE comic book section.

It was quite impressive. We do have large sections of comics in our local bookstores like National Book Store and Fully Booked, but they’re predominantly Marvel, DC and Manga. Here, there’s very little American comic books. If there were, those from independent publishers outnumber those from Marvel and DC, and the rest are purely comic books from mostly Europe. A lot of these books were beautifully designed large hard bound books with amazing artwork.

We decided to pay an early visit to one of the comic book stores I’ll be doing a signing in, Librairie Super Héros along Rue Saint-Martin. On the way there there was this huge colossal modern art building that’s at odds with much of the surrounding ancient architecture, the Centre Georges Pompidou.

Serge and I walk along Rue Saint-Martin

Librairie Super Héros

175, rue Saint-Martin, 75003 Paris

On the way back to the hotel, we saw this random gothic church just hanging out nearby, next to some street art. One thing that’s so nice about Paris is how creative their street art is.

One of the first things we really wanted to see was the Notre Dame Cathedral. It holds special significance to us, being both Architects. We studied this cathedral studiously back in college. We drew it inside and out and have come to know it quite well even without really seeing it.

During my college days, it was even the site of one of the biggest battles of the X-men, which occurred in X-men 200, “The Trial of Magneto”, written by Chris Claremont and drawn by John Romita Jr. One memorable scene was Colossus being thrown through, and destroying, Notre Dame’s main rose window.

I simply could not wait to see it.

The River Seine on the way to Notre Dame

Ilyn and I were both speechless upon seeing it rise in front of us. We just sat there for a while not really saying anything, just looking. Later, we both approached it and hugged it. Well, I just had to. It was quite simply an overwhelming experience. I felt touching it was important. Like I wanted to make a physical connection not just with the thing I had in my memories, but also with history. We couldn’t forget how old it was, and how many millions of people had stood where I stood.

That night we found a Chinese food place we just had to try. Ilyn had missed rice terribly. It was rather expensive though, but we tried not to think about it and convert currencies in our heads. We’ll end up not eating anything or buying anything. For sure things would be more expensive here so we just had to get used to it and just not think too much about it. We just decided to enjoy it while we were there. I mean, we were in Paris. Perhaps it hadn’t completely sunk in.

Rue de Rivoli at Night

Next stop was the Louvre Museum. Although it was walking distance from our hotel, we nevertheless decided to take the Metro because we wanted to reserve our walking strength for walking this museum, which was just gigantic. And full of stairs. As we approached the building from the side, we slowly approached the plaza knowing full well that just around the corner was the world famous glass pyramid that has become the distinctive look of the museum in modern times. We are aware of the controversy that surrounded it when it was first built, but as time went on, it became an indelible part of this ancient institution. At the corner we held our breath, and then… there it was.

It was kind of gloomy that day, with a cloudy sky that threatened to rain. In fact, rain was forecast for that day, and for much of the week we were there. We nevertheless remained optimistic. Although we saw this incredible line of people who wanted to get in, it didn’t discourage us. While still in line I felt bits of rain drops here and there. And us without an umbrella. We decided to stick it out. I mean, one chance in a lifetime. Rain isn’t going to keep us away.

Thankfully, rain didn’t come, at least for the time being.

Inside the Pyramid

The first thing we really wanted to see was the Mona Lisa, and then after that, we can just wander around. We immediately went to the 13th-15th century Italian paintings section of the museum where the Mona Lisa was located. When I imagined it to be a huge place, I never imagined it would be that huge. With so many stairs. My knee hadn’t been doing really well in recent months so it was really difficult for me. But what kept me going was the fact that I was in the same building as the Mona Lisa and sooner or later I will be in sight of it. It was a huge deal for me. A huge deal. It was what kept me going and kept me putting one foot in front of the other. Very soon, we were there.

The crowd surrounding the Mona Lisa was immense.



The closest I could get.

To be honest, the Mona Lisa isn’t that spectacular a painting. What made it special was its special place in history and world culture. She’s more famous than any living person. To see her is to see history in one glance. Seeing her is humbling and overwhelming. We took a moment, and then we went exploring.

Now I love these kind of classical well rendered paintings. Seeing one was enough to last me a long time. The sheer beauty of the figurework, the delicacy of the brush work and the beauty of the colors… photos simply weren’t enough to depict all this. But seeing one spectacularly painted painting after another… seeing a hundred… two hundred…. it all started to blur. I started to stop appreciating each one and just glossed over one painting quickly before looking at another. It’s hard to explain. Perhaps all this wasn’t meant to be seen in a day. It had to be appreciated a little at a time, over a period of weeks, perhaps months.

By the end of a couple of hours, I was so ready to see some impressionistic paintings. I wanted to see Van Gogh, Monet, Renoir… all those funky guys with the wild imaginations. I wanted to go to the Musée d’Orsay, which was just next door. Of course, “next door” was probably a kilometer away, but that was just OK.

I never had a chance to go though, as I had an appointment for a media interview for Elmer. I did look forward to the interview… it was one of the reasons we’re in Paris in the first place. I can’t believe I was thinking it, but I was kind of museum-ed out for the day, and was looking for a change of pace. Meeting with Serge and a journalist and talking through the afternoon at an outdoor cafe seemed the best thing for me at the time.

At the interview, Laurent Mélikian arrived with writer Dana Walrath and American comic book artist Dan Panosian (pictured above). It was such a pleasure to meet Dan because career wise, this is one of those artists who I truly admire. He started out as inker and then transitioned to drawing his own comic books and now he’s being published in Europe. He too was having a signing tour of Paris and other France cities and will be there until the end of the month.

Ilyn stayed on at the Louvre to see the other sections of the museum.

That night, we went to Laurent’s home for a farewell dinner. There we met Laurent’s wife Sylvie and their son Victor. Laurent prepared an awesome baked cod with steamed vegetables and cream. We had a bit of champagne, cheese and figs afterwards. Figs! I only heard about those things in the bible. This was the first time I was actually tasting one. It was very nice.

We all had nice conversations that lasted well into the night. It really has come full circle for us. Laurent was there at the beginning of our two week trip, and now there he was just at the end of it. It was nice. Laurent is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, extremely helpful and kind. I am extraordinarily lucky to have met both Laurent and Serge, specially at this point in my life.

Laurent escorted us back to the nearest Metro and then we said our goodbyes. The following day we left before the sun was up. It was bittersweet. We had a terrific time in Paris. Personally, I loved it there. I wish I could have stayed longer. I dreamed of doing just graphic novels, living in some Paris apartment, having coffee and croissants in the morning and creating, as well as appreciating art all day long. But well, it was time to home, and time to go back to work.

It was an incredible two weeks, a short time in my life that seems like years in my memory.

Leaving Tomorrow

We leave tomorrow for our two week trip! I’ve been so busy trying to finish an issue of Avengers as well as manage the various little (and big) concerns of running the house that I really haven’t paid full attention to our specific travel plans. Apparently, I made a mistake in reading our plane ticket. It’s not really an actual ticket but an e-ticket, printed out from a website. The formatting of the words and numbers is kind of confusing. Let me just say that if I had gone with my initial understanding of the ticket, the plane would have been long gone when we arrive at the airport.

Apparently, we don’t leave at 5:30 Monday morning, we leave hours earlier at 12:50am. That means we have to leave the house at 5pm on Sunday, that’s tomorrow. That’s a lot of contingency, but I want to be prepared because it is a Sunday and lots of people will be coming from the province to Manila. I expect lots of traffic.

We haven’t packed yet. Ilyn herself is busy finishing some more school work for her MBA. I still have TWO Avengers pages to finish inking. So I guess it will be a very long night. I still have to get my haircut tomorrow. I can’t go off to the festival looking really scruffy.

I’m not sure if I will be able to go online during the entire time, but I guess I’ll find a way. I’ll most likely try to update Twitter a lot, as well as my page on Facebook. This blog, maybe not until I get back. But let’s see!

Right now, I just feel too tired to feel excited or nervous. Perhaps once the pages are done and we’re packing it’s all going to sink in.

All right, see you guys in two weeks!

Paris Signing Schedules

Today I received news that my visa was approved! YEAH!! I can now announce my signing schedule in Paris:

- Wednesday, October 16

Librairie Super Héros,

175, rue Saint-Martin

75003 Paris, from 5pm to 8pm

- Thursday, October 17

Librairie Comics Records,

76 rue Charlot,

75003 Paris, from 5.30pm to 8pm

If anyone from the area ever gets to visit my site, see you guys there!! Please pardon me as I don’t speak the language, but I can manage English pretty well.

Off to Algeria and France

Above is the poster that won a contest held to celebrate the 6th Festival International de la Bande Dessinée à Alger (FIBDA), or the International Comics Festival of Algeria. Through Laurent Melikian, I was invited to attend the festival, which begins October 8 and ends October 12. There, I will unofficially represent the Philippines, bringing our comics and our history to the attention of the International attendees. I will be exhibiting artworks from some of our greatest artists, and I will also be doing a talk on the history of our comics.

It all sounds nice and I’m crossing my fingers that I do get the chance to be able to do it. How can I not be 100% sure? I’d like to dial back a few months back when Laurent, this really cool French gentleman I met online and eventually at the Komikon in 2011 (he came all the way from France to check out the local komiks scene), had gotten me an invitation to attend the Algeria comics festival, which has the complete backing of the Algerian government. They would be willing to pay for my travel and accommodations. I thought that was fantastic, but I told them that I can go only if I can bring my wife with me. I think I’m at that point in my life that I want to share everything I experience with my wife, and anywhere I go, she would come with me. I risked not going at all, but if I couldn’t bring my wife, I’d rather not go at all.

Surprisingly, they agreed! So we were all set. Preparations were made to make the trip possible. Somewhere along this time my French publisher, Serge Ewenczyk of Editions çà et là, offered to extend my trip by bringing us to Paris after Algeria for another week. I thought this was just too much, too awesome to be true. I’m like, Paris, wow. That was the dream city me and my wife always wanted to visit, more than anywhere else in the world outside of the Philippines.

I guess right now (today is September 29), I’m around 90% positive my trip will push through. Everything is actually all set. We already have a place to stay, we have our tickets, we’ve prepared all that we can possibly prepare. But there’s two complications. One is that we don’t have Algerian visas. That’s simply because there’s no Algerian consulate or Embassy here in the Philippines. I was assured by the Festival organizers not to worry about it as it’s common for a few festival delegates not to have visas. We will simply be issued visas when we enter the country. I’m assured that Algerians are actually very glad to receive visitors and that the lack of visa will not be a problem. Including me and Ilyn, there are 10 other delegates to the festival who do not have a visa. Right now we’re just waiting for an official letter from Algeria’s Ministry of Culture that we can show to immigration to facilitate matters.

Second complication is that today, September 29, we are still not sure if we are going to be granted our French visas. There was some difficulty during our interview. Apparently, they are very strict about completing their list of required documents, unlike when you got apply for a US visa. We had emailed in some documents later in the day to complete our requirements, but the nature of the interview left us not entirely confident of positive results. I’m 90% sure that we did get it. We eventually completed all the requirements after all. We find out Tuesday when we retrieve our passports.

So yeah! Fingers crossed all around.

As to what we will do in Paris, as far as I know, I will be doing signings for a few comic book stores. Once we make sure that our visas are in place, I will post more detailed info about signing dates and venues and other activities.

All in all, I’m very excited, and just a little bit nervous.

For Sale! Indestructible Hulk Original Inked Art!

Yep, I’m letting go a few more original inked art to Indestructible Hulk! Just so you know exactly what you’re getting, Leinil Francis Yu emails me the pencils, which I then print out on Marvel Art Boards using blue ink. I then ink on that. I scan the finished art, and that’s the inked artwork used to publish the comic book. I’m letting go a few of these, and once they’re gone, they’re pretty much gone. Each page is really just one of a kind.

If you’re interested, click on the gallery of photos of pages for sale HERE.

If you are interested in any of these pages, just email me at gerryalanguilan at yahoo dot com. Although these are offered primarily to buyers here in the Philippines (and the prices reflect that), I’d be willing to sell these to people from abroad as long as you would be willing to add for shipping via Fedex. Fedex only, unfortunately. I cannot send anything via the local post office because to be honest, original art like this I cannot trust to them. So shipping will be quite a lot, and depending on where you are, it will not be lower than 50 US dollars. I know it’s a hassle, and that’s why I really don’t prefer to sell abroad, but if you’re willing to shoulder that, I’m game.

At any rate, there are a few pages of Indestructible Hulk, the really kick ass ones, that are also for sale via my agent KIRK DILBECK, who is based in the US. You may find it easier to deal with him, if you’re based there as well. Check out the gallery of Indestructible Hulk pages (along with Supercrooks) here at this gallery.

Today is September 25, and I will be able to offer these pages only in the next two weeks. After that, I will have to put a hold on selling artwork. That’s because I won’t be home starting October 6, and I’ll be gone for two weeks. I’ll be back October 20. So if you wish to buy any of the pages that I have, you can do so within two weeks, or wait until I get back.

From October 6-12 I’ll be at the FIBDA, which is the Festival International de la Bande Dessinée d’Alger, an International comics festival I had been invited to attend in Algeria. I’m really looking forward to this trip because I will get to give a talk about the history of Philippine comics, and I will get to exhibit artworks from some of our greatest artists.

From October 13-19 I will be in Paris, France, at the invitation of my French publisher Editions çà et là (who published ELMER in Europe), and I will be doing several signings at stores in the city.

I’m selling some of my artwork in the hopes of having some pocket money for my trip. Although my accommodations and 75% of my travel expenses will be shouldered by the Algerian Festival and my French Publisher, it would still be nice to have something that will keep me from being financially paranoid in a foreign country.

Leinil Francis Yu and I will also have a signing this Saturday, September 28 at Robinson’s Galleria from 1-4pm. I will be bringing along more artwork, this time from Avengers, specifically pages from issues #18 and #19 to sell as well. No scans as of yet, but you’ll see which pages are available on Saturday. If you wish to get any of that or any of the the Hulk art and you wish to get them personally from me, Saturday would be the best time.

If you purchase some art from me at this time, I would greatly appreciate it! Thanks in advance!

My Broken Facebook

The Internet certainly has changed quite a lot ever since I went online in 1997. From that time forward up to now, I consider myself a pretty heavy Internet user, open to trying a lot of new things. I did the Geocities, I did the Friendster, I did the MySpace, I did YouTube and DeviantArt and Blogger and Twitter and even the now forgotten ones like Comicspace, Flixter, Buzznet, LiveVideo, PinoyTube, Vloggerheads, etc.

And then, there’s of course, FACEBOOK. I’ve been pretty active on that site for many years. But swiftly on the heels of me quitting YouTube, I’ve pretty much quit Facebook. Well, not entirely. My account is pretty much still there. But I’ve massively pulled back my activities. Once I used to post several things in a single day, now I hardly post anything in a single week. More importantly, I no longer browse the “Home” newsfeed. There was a time I thought I could not live everyday without going to Facebook, but it’s really just not true. After removing myself from it, I’ve realized I didn’t get as mad as often as I used to, and I don’t get stressed out as often as I used to.

I’ve been trying to figure out why that is, and maybe I can write it all out here.

I’m thinking I’ve pretty much broken my Facebook early on, and it grew broken for years and there’s nothing more I could do about it. What do I mean by “broken”? The idea behind Facebook is that you only add people you actually know. That way, all your contacts will be assured that you personally know each one and can vouch for them. But I’m in a peculiar business of creating comics which has that side effect of me being known by a number of people who I don’t know and have never met. I also do videos on You Tube and because of those things, people get a perceived familiarity with me. They get to know me, at least a particular aspect of me. And so if they see me on Facebook, they want to add me. And because I don’t want to alienate those people who read and appreciate my work, I add them. I have added quite a lot of people who I don’t know and have never met.

I don’t know who they are, what kind of people they are, their beliefs and opinions and life, who their friends are and so forth.

So naturally, my “Home” feed is filled with posts from people I don’t know. They post their photographs and statuses and links, and more often than not, they post their opinions about politics and religion and things like that, and I often feel offended or pissed by what they say because in many instances I don’t agree, specially when opinions are baseless, not backed up by facts, and sometimes just downright STUPID.

I made the mistake once or twice of engaging in arguments, but I’ve been on the Internet long enough to know that it doesn’t really do any good. Such issues have been debated about for years or even decades without resolution. Why do I delude myself into thinking resolution to years old debates can be settled with one God damned Facebook post?

Opinions of my close friends, no matter what they may be, I can stand. I can even engage in debate about it in a nice way. But the idiotic opinions of strangers? I got no patience or time for that.

Of course, I can “unsubscribe” from them or even defriend, but I just don’t have the time. My contacts list has grown to Facebook’s limit of 5000. I don’t have the time to individually “unsubscribe” from people I really don’t want to hear from. I tried to start doing it, but wow, it was just too much work.

That’s why I think my Facebook is broken.

Early I didn’t know I could have used a PAGE right from the start, but back then they were called “FAN PAGES”, and I detested the idea of me creating one of those for me. Remember those times? Instead of “liking” a PAGE, you had to to “Become a Fan Of”. And that didn’t sit right with me. So I stuck with a personal profile, adding only real people and not groups, characters, businesses etc.

I can always delete my account, but I don’t think I can do that. There are legitimate friends on my list, friends who I wish to remain in contact with. Plus I still need a forum on which I post announcements with regards to my work. Facebook is still very useful in that regard.

Not all of the strangers on my contacts lists are like that of course, but there are quite a few. There are more people who seem to be OK with me than not. And there are a few people on Facebook who I met through that site who are now my actual friends, so it’s really a two sided thing.

So on Facebook I remain, but not like I used to. I can still respond to things here and there only if someone tags me and makes me aware there is a question for me. Otherwise, I would completely miss it. I do still visit individual profiles of my close friends to see what they’re up to. Nowadays, I do all my posting on my PAGE, which is set up differently from a profile. I don’t get to read posts by people who “like” my page, so that’s great. I get to share stuff and engage people there which is just perfectly fine.

Goodbye to a Friend

Today is a sad day. I’m waiting for the vet. My dog Boney, who has been with me since 2008, is so sick that she’s beyond saving. She needs to be put down. I’ve had many dogs in my life and they all died one by one on their own. Some were just too old, and some well, just died from undiagnosed ailments. This is the first time I’ve had to decide to consciously put one down. It wasn’t really a hard decision to make. Boney has been sick for almost a year. We had a vet take a look at her and even after all that’s been done to make her well, it just didn’t work out. The poor animal is clearly suffering and it’s a mercy to just let her go.

It’s just utterly sad. I’m supposed to be working today but I’m paralyzed. I can’t do anything. My phone is down. My Internet is down. As much as I want to distract myself, I can’t. I keep thinking about Boney, anxious about the coming vet. I know that as soon as the vet is here, Boney has only minutes to live.

I had spoken with the vet yesterday and she said she will be coming this morning. It’s already 11am and I’ve been terribly anxious since 8 in the morning, puttering around the house, trying to do something on the computer, some offline game perhaps or browse photos. But I keep seeing photos and videos of Boney so I’ve had to put a stop to that. I’m too distracted and restless to draw. I tried sleeping but I’m so agitated that I just keep getting up.

I want to leave the house and if the vet shows up while I’m gone then at least I won’t be here when it all goes down. But that would be mean. I have to be here. I have to be here for Boney.

And of course it just had to rain. It’s been raining all morning. I guess it’s only appropriate.

12 noon the vet just called and said she will be able to come over only at 1:30pm. It’s releived the tension and anxiety a little bit, but just a little bit. I’m still very agitated. I don’t think I can eat lunch, at least not so much. I don’t feel like eating.

Even when this is over, I think I have to get away for a bit, watch a movie maybe. Hopefully On The Job is still showing at SM. It’s supposedly bloody enough and intense enough to get my mind off killing my dog.

It’s 6 in the evening. The vet came at 1:15pm. Boney was gone and buried by 1:40pm. It was difficult seeing her die in front of my eyes. She fell asleep from an injection and then as drugs were pumped into the IV attached to her, she started gasping. There was one last gasp of air. I thought that there would be more, but no. She just died. And that was it.

After Boney was in the ground I took a bath and just got out of the house. On The Job was no longer playing. I just puttered aimlessly around not really knowing where to go. A few hours later I was back home. I took a nap. I was asleep longer than I expected. I woke up thinking of Boney’s still face, closed eyes and open mouth. When dogs die they open their mouth.

I’m still thinking of Boney right now. I think of all the nice times I had her. She was an awesome awesome dog. Loving, attentive, always so eager to please. I will try not to think of Boney too much. I don’t want to keep being sad. I just have to keeping doing what I’m doing, and get back to drawing again.

Thousands of Free E-Books and E-Comics

Browsing the net I came across this e-book service that offers 5000 free e-books. Another service was offering even more comics that comes with their e-reader. The future is so amazing isn’t it? You have entire libraries at your disposal with a single click. And it’s all free. Such things were unthinkable only 15 or so years ago.

This generation and the next and the next after that is certainly very lucky to have a lot of things so easily so quickly. Lucky in some regards, but perhaps not in others.

I grew up in a generation where we couldn’t have everything. We didn’t get 5 thousand free anything, not books and not comics. We bought comics. As a kid whenever we go to Manila for our monthly trip, my parents would give me 20 pesos to spend. Back in the 70s that was a bit of a good money. I would spend more than half of that on comics. The National Book Store reprints of Marvel and DC comics sold for 1.75 pesos each, so I would buy like maybe 5 to 6 a month. After a while I had a stack that was maybe a foot high. That was probably around 50 comics.

I valued those comics a lot because I didn’t get them for free. Sure my parents gave me money, but it was me that took the effort to go to the store, browse the shelves and bought the comics. If I couldn’t find an issue I liked, I would spend hours going to other places just to find them. And when I got them, I valued them greatly because I worked to get them. And because I couldn’t afford to get a lot, those 50 or so comics got read a lot. I read them over and over. I knew those comics inside and out. As a kid, that was my most valuable possession.

And as I grew older, some of those comics got given away, but some have stayed with me. A few issues of X-men from those days are still with me, browned and stained, but still readable. On the margins are little marks and drawings I did as a kid. These comics are almost 40 years old, almost as old as me. They have weathered time and have grown old as me and yet they’re still here. And I still know them inside and out. I can never forget.

I can’t help but think that kids today get so spoiled at having so many free stuff that they no longer value what they have. 5000, 7000 free comics? For real? Are these kids ever going to read all of them? I highly doubt it. And when they get so many free things so easily so quickly, these comics will be equally without value and will be equally disposable. I can imagine these comics get simply browsed at best. Maybe 10 or 20 get read from cover to cover, but it’s more likely their eyes will just gloss over the rest. And when the next free batch comes along, the old batch will just get erased, forgotten.

I may seem just like an old fart who may not get kids, envious of the great things they have, but I’m really not. I could care less for 7000 free digital comics. I just feel bad for the kids today who can never experience the wonder of collecting, of going out and searching for missed issues and the thrill that they could feel upon finding it after searching for hours, may be days, maybe even weeks. That sense of awe and hair raising thrill that one feels at the extraordinarily luck at finding a rare issue.

You don’t get that with digital comics. Rare issues are non-existent. Just call it up on your gadget and within seconds it’s there. No effort at all.

Isn’t it any wonder why I always prefer print? Why I always prefer my own comics in print and has always resisted making my work easily available as a digital download? I want my work to be valued. I want my work to be kept and held and cherished. I want my work to grow old with its reader, attaching itself emotionally to its owner. I don’t want my work to be just one comic book among thousands that’s given away, easily erased, easily disposed of.

August 11, 2013

Old pals Johnny Danganan, Jonas Diego and his gf Ysa along with me and Ilyn met for lunch today at Simple Treats here in San Pablo. It’s been a while since we saw each other and it’s nice to know that we can still be good friends in spite of not being constantly in touch with each other. It’s like we just pick up from where we left off the last time. I don’t even remember when that last time was.

It’s nice to see friends. I was kind of “off” the past few weeks because of a cough that wouldn’t go away. After seeing a couple of doctors it was deemed an allergy, but I’m allergic to what, I have no idea. After weeks of barking like a mad dog it’s eased up considerably the last few days. I’ve had to decline a lot of invites to meets and TV stuff and such because of it. And for that I really do apologize.

During that time I was still able to work, but not as fast as I would like. Hopefully I’m back up to speed. And I have a lot of work to do. Aside from the inking job, I have a lot of stories to write. I also have a lot of stuff to draw. I need to get back to drawing. It’s been a while since I’ve done any hardcore drawing. I don’t want to get rusty. I would like to have something new at the very least, for release at Komikon in November.

Speaking of Komikon, yesterday was Indieket, which is kind of a Komikon that emphasizes the local indie creators. I wasn’t able to go but I hear a lot of really good releases came out. That sounds really promising. Check out this public Facebook photo gallery of the goings on at the Indieket.

Next week is the annual Cebu Comics Convention. I think it’s the third (or fourth?) one in a row. Old pal Jonas is actively involved in organizing this one. Although I won’t be able to go, WASTED will be there for sale. I’m sending over at least 20 copies.

A couple of weeks ago I posted what was essentially a “last” video on You Tube entitled “174 Words”. It’s a very long, low resolution video that lasts almost 43 minutes. If anybody had the patience to actually watch it until the end, they would realize there won’t be any more videos from me, at least for a while. In fact, “Berry (So Many Words)” should have been my last, but I made a promise in that video to a lot of viewers so I had to make at least one more. I guess I just woke up one morning and thought, damn, I don’t want to make videos anymore. That’s it. That’s my only reason. And since my only reason for ever doing any of my videos is because I wanted to do it, I guess I’ll stop when I don’t feel like it anymore.

Will I still make videos? Maybe, I don’t know. If you ask me right now I’ll say NO. But who knows? Tomorrow I might feel I might want to make videos again. Very unlikely tomorrow. Maybe one day. Right now, I just can’t stomach it anymore.

I’m also using Facebook less. I do still go to Facebook and check if anyone’s tagged me and respond to stuff here and there. I still participate in some groups, but I haven’t been posting much on my profile lately. Once in a while I’ll post in my page. One thing I don’t do anymore is browse “Home”. I just don’t feel like it anymore.

I do still tweet. I think I’m very comfortable with tweeting. And since I’m blogging now I guess I still feel comfortable blogging. After all, I’ve been doing this since 1997. I think I’ll always be writing.

The Girl in the Jeepney

I think this was around 1994 or so. The break up with my girlfriend at the time was still rather fresh in my mind. I was still hurting, but the same time, I was indescribably lonely. Perhaps I was just simply love starved. Having stopped drawing comics completely, I returned to the office grind for an Architectural firm in Quezon City. Fortunately, my job there allowed me to be out of the office for long periods of time supervising the construction of one project or another across Manila.

I found myself travelling Recto a lot by jeep or by walking. It was rather convenient because I lived only a short distance away at P. Noval in Sampaloc, beside the University of Santo Tomas. I loved Recto. I loved the little places where one can find really cool things. I found some really nice comics there, and some really nice drawing instruments.

One particular day I was just minding my own business as I rode the jeepney when I noticed this girl sitting across from me. She was very pretty. She had long very curly hair and she wore what looked like a college uniform. She had some kind of leather shoulder bag and carried some of her books and folders across her chest. She was so pretty that I couldn’t help but look.

Back then I would do this a lot to girls I found attractive. I’d look at them and then when they found me looking, I would look away. And then I would look again.

This girl caught me looking again, and I looked away again. But now I know she knew I found her attractive because she’s caught me looking twice now. From here on in, she’s on the lookout to see if I would look again. I’ve noticed this pattern numerous times. I didn’t think it meant she thought I looked good or found me attractive, but I think she might have been pleased to be found attractive, and was looking for further verification of it.

She got down somewhere near the University of the East, and I just watched her disappear in the crowd. I didn’t think much of her after that, well, at least until I saw her again on another day, on another jeep. And of course, I looked at her again. She looked back and I could swear she grew a half smile. Or a quarter smile. I couldn’t really tell. Did she recognize me? Was this an indication that I was familiar to her and that she didn’t mind seeing me again?

We played the back and forth look and look-away game for a while until she had to go down again. I think this exchange happened twice or three times more over the next couple of weeks. This time, I started to really think about her. Without really knowing her, I found myself really liking her and wondered if I had the courage to actually come up and talk to her. Several times I intentionally hung around where I would normally see her and try to get a ride if she was taking a ride in the same jeepney.

One day I saw her again in a jeep and with a quarter smile, I looked at her. She saw me looking and quite angrily looked away. I was kind of dumbstruck. Did I do anything wrong? Was she trying to discourage me? Was she trying to tell me to get off her back? Did she have a boyfriend? All throughout this trip I would look quickly at her once in a while and all I would see would be that long beautiful curly hair, her face hidden from me as she looked far in the distance, far from where I was sitting.

It bothered me for the next week or so, as I thought of what I would do next. I thought about writing her a letter. I was frustratingly shy, you see. Sure I could have just talked to her, but I didn’t think I had the balls to do that. I fell back into that thing I found comfortable: writing. So yeah, I wrote her a letter.

I can still actually remember the gist of what I wrote. It probably went something like, “Hello. I hope you’ll pardon me for giving you this letter out of the blue, a letter from someone who don’t even know. But I’ve been noticing you for a while as we seem to take the same ride every once in a while. I hope you’re not offended or put off and I certainly hope I don’t frighten you. I don’t really mean any harm. I just wanted to say how pretty I think you are, and I was hoping I could talk to you…” or some bull crap like that. I know it has an air of desperation to it, but my failed relationship gave me an anger, and a blunt edge that just let me throw caution to the wind. In many ways, I didn’t care if she never responded, or if I never saw her again. What mattered to me was I got to tell her what I thought.

For days I waited for her near the gates of the University of the East just waiting for her to get down from the jeep or pass by. After a week or so, I finally saw her. Working up some courage, I actually came up to her, and gave her the letter. And then I turned and walked away as fast as I can. I looked back and I saw her walking away, her long curly hair covering much of her back.

That was the last time I ever saw her. I never heard from her. She never replied.

Another project in another part of Manila started and kept me from the Recto area for a considerable amount of time. It hurt a little bit, not hearing from her. She was probably offended. She was probably put off, and yeah, I guess I most probably scared her.

It was probably just as well. Looking back now, still nursing a broken heart, it would not have been wise to enter another relationship. It would be unfair to the girl and I’m sure it would have surely ended badly. On rare occasions, I do still wonder whatever became of this girl. That was almost 20 years ago now. She must be married, and have teen-aged children. I’m sure she would have cut her hair short by now, as girls often do when they get older. She could still be in the Philippines, or she could be abroad. Maybe she’s even on Facebook. I’m pretty sure she, and her children are on Facebook. But since I never knew her name, I could never find her again. Not that I want to.

It’s one of those little mysteries in my life that I prefer to remain mysteries. This girl is best remembered as a memory, a memory of something silly I did once in my life.