Larry L. Franklin's Blog, page 20
October 28, 2013
Male inmates know the song.
They’ve sang the song before, a haunting melody at best. Male inmates have often been victims of childhood sexual and physical abuse, which most likely was a contributing factor to their incarceration. I will be meeting with seventy inmates at the Shawnee Correctional Center on Friday, November 1, 2013 from 8:30 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. I intent to share my experiences of childhood sexual abuse, and explain how I have moved the horrific memories to mere recollections. (Well, most of the time.) I am hopeful that we can share a peaceful space in time with nothing but good vibrations filling an institution of pain. It is my hope, and perhaps my prayer. Wish me luck.
October 22, 2013
Appearance on “Isn’t it Queer” 91.1 radio Carbondale, Il
Tomorrow morning, Wednesday October 23rd, radio interview with Julie Cosenza, WDBX 91.1 Agenda will probably be on one of my books, “The Rita Nitz Story: A Life Without Parole,” which deals with the 1988 murder of Michael Miley, a gay man from Carbondale, Il. It was a horrific crime by any measure, when Richard Nitz killed Michael Miley and then decapitated him. Three days later the body was found but the head was never recovered. Writing the words some eight years after the book was published, still brings back the memories of researching the case and trying to make sense out of the judicial process. The 1980′s were a time when some young men in southern Illinois, armed with baseball bats, hunted gay men as if they were going out to shoot some quail. It was violence without a conscience, feeling, or any trace of remorse. Come join us tomorrow morning when we will delve into the mysteries that still keep the Miley case alive.
October 19, 2013
There is a universal promise.
Another blog is overdue. My time has been filled with book discussions/readings, radio interviews, and my efforts to utilize social media. I can’t say that marketing is as rewarding as writing the book, but it is a challenging journey. I didn’t know what to expect when I began talking about my experiences as a victim of childhood sexual abuse. But I must say that the support I’ve received at each of my engagements has exceeded my expectations. I find myself as part of an ever increasing population of wounded children who inhabit an adult body. I’m one of the lucky ones who, with the help of a marvelous therapist, have made the effort to heal. For those in need, there is a universal promise — Everyone deserves to trust, to feel, to love.
October 8, 2013
Twenty five years later, Betty Boyer has recanted her testimony that convicted Rita Nitz of murder.
On April 9, 1988, the decapitated body of Michael Miley was found in an abandoned car in the woods near Carbondale, Il. The State of Illinois later convicted, in separate trials, Rita Brookmyer Nitz and her then husband Richard Nitz of first degree murder for the “shooting death of Michael Miley.
The centerpiece of the State’s evidence against Brookmyer was the eyewitness testimony of Betty Boyer, who testified that on the night of the murder, she witnessed Richard Nitz repeatedly strike a young man in the head with a baseball bat. Boyer also testified that as Nitz assaulted the young man, she witnessed Brookmyer not “doing anything but standing there being quiet.” According to Boyer, after the man was lying on the ground, Brookmyer helped Nitz load the body into the trunk of a car and left the scene in the car with the body in the trunk. Rita was never found guilty of participating in the crime. She was charged with accountability — being present and not doing anything to avoid the crime, and for helping load the body into the trunk of the car. For this she received life without parole.
Fast forward to February 2013 when Betty Boyer, now known as Betty Lindsey, signed an affidavit recanting her testimony in the trail that convicted Rita Brookmyer Nitz of murder. ”I was forced by prosecutor Garnatti to testify against Rita Nitz,” said Boyer. ”The police and the prosecutor questioned me at least 7 or 8 times. Each time I was questioned, Mr. Garnatti put pressure on me to implicate Rita Nitz in the homicide of Michael Miley. The detectives and Mr. Garnatti told me I would lose my children if I did not testify against Rita Brookmyer Nitz and Richard Nitz. The detectives and Mr. Garnatti told me I would be charged with the homicide if I didn’t testify.” The affidavit reads on as Boyer lists parts of her false testimony. Rita’s appeal is in its early stages, and the end result is anyone’s guess.
By recanting her testimony, Betty Boyer’s fate is now open to the judicial system. Is it possible that Boyer could be subjected to perjury, and Rita lose her appeal? I spent three years of my life investigating and writing Rita’s story. Nothing would surprise me. After 25 years in prison, this might be Rita’s last hope for freedom.
For more information read, “The Rita Nitz Story: A Life Without Parole” by Larry L Franklin
Boyer’s affidavit can be found in the circuit court of Massac County, Illinois.
Tagged: wrongly convicted
October 4, 2013
“Tell them that mental illness is for real.”
The reasons that our brain can fly into madness are as mystifying as a trip into outer space. The photos, the words, the creative simulations that bring us close to flying through the universe, or walking over moon dust, seem like make believe. Traveling to an illusionary world, where neurotransmitters pop and crackle like fireworks on the fourth of July, is even more baffling. Only one percent of the population, roughly 3 million people, make the trip. They are so unique that we call them by a different name — bipolar. Becca is one of them.
Becca was found guilty but mentally ill for killing her five-year-old step daughter, and is serving sixty years in prison. While writing Becca’s story, and even today, she is unable to remember the moment when she took Dani’s life. When asked how does she know that she committed the crime, she answers, “because they told me that I did.”
At the conclusion of my manuscript, I asked Becca what she would like her family, friends, and the people of Streator, Illinois to know about her? ”I didn’t know what I was doing, I was out of my mind. I can understand how some people might try to use mental illness as a way to get out of trouble. But I had medical evidence that I was in and out of mental hospitals and had a history of black outs. It wasn’t like I was faking it.” She went on to tell me that she wished that Dani was with us. I miss her so very much and I love her even more. ”Just take my feelings,” she said, “and put them into words. You’re good at that. Make them see that I was sick then, but I’m different now. Tell them that mental illness is for real.”
For more information on Becca’s story read “Cherry Blossoms & Barren Plains: A woman’s journey from mental illness to a prison cell,” by Larry L Franklin
Tagged: Mental Illness
September 30, 2013
PTSD — We all have a story.
A few days ago I was checking out some other blogs. I typed in PTSD and discovered numerous blogs about people diagnosed as having PTSD brought on by sexual and physical abuse. My initial reaction was shock. These people, I thought, are in bad shape and need help. Then I realized that their stories sounded very much like my story written years ago. I wanted to reach out to the people and tell them that there is hope. They can move to a place where the horror becomes like distant memories. They become manageable. This is a story that I wrote when I was in a very bad place.
Maybe it would have been easier if I had cancer or another more socially acceptable disease. The physician would have shown my family an x-ray of my tumor and prescribed a course of treatment, giving them hope that they could openly share with their friends. Or maybe it would have been better if my wife had taken me to a hospital and said, “Something is wrong with my husband. He is depressed, having nightmares. He’s downright miserable.” After performing a CT scan, the doctor might have said, “We’ve determined your husband’s problem. As you can see from the x-ray, his soul is being strangled by massive adhesions. The different-colored adhesions represent a specific type of abuse, with the number of strains revealing the frequency. Look here and you can see how the CT scan tells a story. The blue adhesions tell us your husband was sexually molested by his older brother. Based on the massive number of strains, we estimate his brother’s penis was rammed up his anus more than one thousand times.”
Being visually shaken, my wife might have said, “Can anything be done to help him?”
“Oh yes,” the doctor might have said. “However, it’s a long process and not without problems. He can be treated with medications and work with a psychologist who will help loosen the grip of the adhesions and terminate their growth. They can never be removed but he can recover. He might become a different person from the one you know. He’s been living without the use of his soul and will begin to feel things that will cause him to behave in a different way. There is a school of thought that says abuse victims can become so in touch with their soul that they experience depths of love we can only imagine.”
Wondering what to do, she might have said, “What if we don’t do anything?”
“Well, that’s an option,” he answered. “However, if you choose that option, I would suggest having him put to sleep. It’s more humane. You see, if nothing is done, his soul will disintegrate, causing his interior to become devoid of all meaningful parts. He will become like a hollowed-out gourd. If that happens, you might as well cut a hole in his side, tie a rope around his neck, and hang him from a tree. Abuse victims come in different colors, shapes, and sizes. They make great birdhouses.”
You can find my story in “Mnemosyne: A Love Affair with Memory.”
Tagged: PTSD
September 24, 2013
Book Discussion for Mnemosyne: A Love Affair with Memory
September 23, 2013
Cure PTSD with a pill? Give me a break!!
Researchers at MIT suggest that we’ve moved closer to creating a pill that would remove bad memories. Researches say they have identified a gene that plays a critical role in “memory extinction.” Old “bad” memories would be replaced with new ones, which would, in turn, provide a pill for addiction and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This information troubles me. So much so that I want to vomit.
I can not speak for soldiers who suffer from PTSD, but I can tell you how victims of childhood sexual abuse deal with PTSD, and “bad memories.” Here’s a bit of my story. My memories of childhood sexual abuse were buried for decades. Although I was not aware that my bad memories even existed, I was filled with misery. Try being miserable and exhibiting bad behavior, and not having a clue as to what was going on. Not being aware of the “bad memories” made no difference.
When I was approximately 50 years of age my mother revealed past events that triggered tons of bad memories. So bad that I had nightmares of being raped that caused me to vomit and slide into panic attacks. For fear of losing my sanity I turned to a psychologist for help. We began long term therapy, and with the help of medication I became more receptive to the demands of therapy. This led to a review of my past behavior, conversations with family members, visits to the sites of the past abuse, journaling, self exploration, etc… I can provide only a snap shot of my experiences on a blog, but I can say that I would not want to replace the bad memories with good ones.
We are a product of our biological makeup and our life experiences — nature and nurture. My memories are my history, and partially determine who I am. Because of the abuse, I did not know how to trust, to feel, and ultimately how to love. But through long term therapy I learned all of the above, and even became a writer. I went through hell but my therapist brought me into the light, and life is better than I could have imagined. Please don’t take away my bad memories. I’ll just manage them as I do now, and taste the sweetness of life.
You can read more about my experiences in my latest book, “Mnemosyne: A Love Affair with Memory.”
Tagged: PTSD
September 20, 2013
How does it feel to be mentally ill and live in a prison cell?
My second book, “Cherry Blossoms & Barren Plains: A woman’s journey from mental illness to a prison cell,” is about an inmate, Becca, who has been diagnosed as having bipolar disorder. I first met Becca while writing my first book on an inmate in the same prison. I was drawn to Becca’s story because she was found guilty of killing her five-year-old stepdaughter, and still doesn’t remember committing the crime. Becca was found “guilty but mentally ill,” and is currently serving 35 years in prison.
One of my tasks was to explain how someone who is mentally ill deals with prison life. Prison life can be unbearable, but what about someone who is mentally ill? I decided to use a metaphor to express life in prison for the mentally ill.
In 2006 approximately twenty-five million of them, all colors — black, brown, white, and different shades of hue — came all the way from the spacious palings of Montana to the dairy farms of Wisconsin. Large numbers of them were funneled into lines, moving down a winding path of long-sweeping curves specifically designed to reduce stress and suffering. Their vision was restricted to the backside of the one in front of them so they couldn’t see what was just around the corner.
One at a time, they were knocked unconscious by an electric shock of three-hundred volts and two amps to the back of their heads. They were then hung upside down by one of their legs. The main arteries in the neck were severed with a knife; blood drained and spurted to the floor; skin was removed by down and side pullers; and internal organs were inspected for parasites and disease. To reduce levels of bacteria, carcasses were cleaned by steam, hot water, and sometimes, organic acids, and then chilled to prevent the growth of microorganisms. There are 5,700 of thees places in the United States that employ some 527,000 workers. They call them slaughterhouses.
Although they kill only a few, thousands upon thousands of citizens are systematically segregated from society and kept in holding pens, more commonly called prison cells. Some 2.5 million men and women are prisoners in the United States’ criminal justice system. More than half of them have mental health problems, some ten percent having been diagnosed with severe mental illnesses — schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. That’s approximately 250,000 individuals — similar to the population of Madison, Wisconsin or Akron, Ohio — who are incarcerated in the nation’s jails and prisons, rather than being treated in a mental institution or an assertive community treatment center, where broken minds receive the care and compassion they deserve.
Tagged: Mental Illness
September 17, 2013
Use metaphors when writing about childhood sexual abuse.
Show, don’t tell. That is the cardinal rule for writers of creative nonfiction. And what better way to show than through the use of metaphors. One of the most popular metaphors is from Shakespeare’s work. ”All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players; they have their exits and entrances.” Of course we know that the world is not a stage. The mere suggestion that two dissimilar things are the same can be quite powerful.
When someone has been sexually abused as a child, the victim’s feelings can be difficult to put into words. The metaphor can be quite effective. I compared myself being diagnosed as having cancer to being a victim of childhood sexual abuse. This is from my latest book, “Mnemosyne: A Love Affair with Memory.”
“Maybe it would have been easier if I had cancer or another more socially acceptable disease. The physician would have shown my family an x-ray of my tumor and prescribed a course of treatment, giving them hope that they could openly share with their friends. Or maybe it would have been better if my wife had taken me to a hospital and said, ‘Something is wrong with my husband. he is depressed, and having nightmares. He’s downright miserable.’ After performing a CT scan, the doctor might have said, ‘We’ve determined your husband’s problem. As you can see from the x-ray, his soul is being strangled by massive adhesions. The different-colored adhesions represent a specific type of abuse, with the number of strains revealing the frequency. Look here and you can see how the CT scan tells a story. The blue adhesions tell us your husband was sexually molested by his older brother. Based on the massive number of strains, we estimate his brother’s penis was rammed us his anus more than one thousand times.’
“Being visually shaken, my wife might have said, ‘Can anything be done to help him?’”
“Oh yes, the doctor might have said. However, it’s a long process and not without problems. He can be treated with medication and work with a psychologist who will help loosen the grip of the adhesions and terminate their growth. They can never be removed but he can recover. He might become a different person from the one you know. He’s been living without the use of his soul and will begin to feel things that will cause him to behave in a different way. There is a school of thought that says abuse victims can become so in touch with their soul that they experience depths of love we can only imagine.”
“Wondering what to do, she might have said, ‘What if we don’t do anything?’”
‘Well, that’s an option,” he answered. ’However, if you choose that option, I would suggest having him put to sleep. It’s more humane. You see, if nothing is done, his soul will disintegrate, causing his interior to become devoid of all meaningful parts. He will become like a hollowed-out gourd. If that happens, you might as well cut a hole in his side, tie a rope around his neck, and hang him from a tree. Abuse victims come in different colors, shapes, and sizes. They make great birdhouses.”
