Les Parrott III's Blog, page 7

Are You a Control Freak?

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
Luke 12:25

“I am sure that when we spoke our marriage vows,” said Janet, “Bob added ‘to have and to hold as long as I’m the boss.’”

She was sitting in our office after four years of trying to stand on equal ground with her husband. According to her, Bob never lets go of the reigns. Literally.

“He would have to be in a complete body cast before he would let me drive the car,” she complains. On a few rare occasions where Janet does get behin...

Cry If You Want To

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.
Psalm 56:8

“Don’t cry!”

“It’s okay to cry,” Leslie whimpered.

We were having lunch at a favorite restaurant, talking about how work was crowding in on our social calendar as well as our marriage, when out of nowhere, or so it seemed, Leslie’s eyes flooded with tears. Only moments before they were sparkling.

“I know it’s okay to cry,” I confessed, “but can’t you wait until we...

How to Stop Being Too Busy

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28

We’re busy. Crazy busy. At least that’s what we’ve been telling ourselves – for a long time. We’ve got deadlines to meet, classes to teach, meetings to attend, emails to exchange, articles to write, seminars to give … oh, and then there’s kids to raise, a house to keep up, friendships to maintain, and, well, our marriage.

It’s become our default response when asked how we’re doing: “Busy!”

And we’re not the on...

The Secret to Success in Marriage

Common sense and success belong to me. Insight and strength are mine. Proverbs 8:14

A study in corporate America has something to teach couples.

It compared executives who floundered and those who succeeded. Both groups had weaknesses, of course, but the critical difference was that those who did not succeed failed to learn from their mistakes and accurately assess and accept their shortcomings.

The unsuccessful executives ignored their faults, often rebuffing those who tried to point them out.

I...

A Simple Solution to Tossing and Turning

Then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to God.” Suddenly the pressure was gone — my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. Psalm 32:5

When I (Les) was working on my doctoral dissertation I was immersed in heady studies on guilt and remorse.

I spent countless hours in the library researching the subject. And the research librarian who was assisting me not only knew the library inside and out, she came to know me and my research topic well.

Most days, when I came int...

Your Relationship Can’t Survive without This

Say nothing evil or hurtful; Snub evil and cultivate good; run after peace for all you’re worth. I Peter 3:9

Did you know that communication is the very lifeblood of your relationship? And yet it is the number one complaint most couples have about their relationship.

“We just don’t communicate,” is a common refrain in many counselors’ offices.

Or “We never have time just to talk” is one we hear a lot.

But the one that makes us cringe the most is “When we finally find the time to talk, we don’t ha...

The Gift You Didn’t Know Your Spouse Was Giving

Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Don’t drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourselves regular checkups. You need firsthand evidence, not mere hearsay, that Jesus Christ is in you. Test it out. If you fail the test, do something about it.

II Corinthians 13:5-6

A college professor was given a portable heart rate monitor to wear because of his heart problems. Doctors needed to accurately assess how his heart was beating throughout a typical day.

On this day the p...

A Surprising Predictor of Marriage Success

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29

Did you know that how you talk about each other to your friends and family can predict your success as a couple?

A ten-year study at the University of Washington followed 95 couples beginning six months into their marriages. The initial hour-long interview together probed their relationship, their parents’ union an...

Bill Cosby Makes A Good Point

Look beneath the surface so you can judge correctly.
John 7:24

Comedian Bill Cosby said, “For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.”

He’s got a point.

Once the masks are fully removed and a couple settles into married life with their differing personalities, year after year, it can seem quite miraculous that the relationship endures.

What may even be more phenomenal is that a marriage need not only survive, but it can...

Is the Me-Monster Invading Your Relationship?

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others.
Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.
Philippians 2:3

Imagine that the two of you have just returned from an amazing vacation to the Gallipolis Islands, but after the obligatory “how was your trip?” the conversation with another couple, your friends, turns to and remains on them.

They tell you about some new landscaping they’re putting in, a conversation they had with their child, or a movie they just saw.

They seem oblivious to you...