Wil Wheaton's Blog, page 131

Wil buys a new game. It's super effective!

A pair of twenty-something Bros, dressed and posed in a manner that was such a hilarious cliche, if I described them exactly as I saw them, my editor would have said, "no, that's too cliche," stood near the front of the store, communicating in some kind of Broglish that leaned heavily on the word "fuck" and its many derivatives.

I guess I'm Old Man Wheaton, because I looked around at all the 7 and 8 year-olds in the store and felt mildly offended that these two Bros couldn't be bothered to make an effort to tone it down just a little bit.

But such is the way of The Bro. If they had common sense and a WIS stat higher than d6+2, they probably wouldn't be Bros.

I walked around them, went to the DS games, and felt like a teenager buying his first box of condoms. I felt my face get warm, I caught myself looking around to ensure I wasn't being watched, and I reached for the nearest copy of Pokémon Black Version.

I turned it over in my hand and read the back. "I can't believe I'm actually going to do this," I thought. "I'm 38 years-old, and I'm buying Pokémon for the first time in my life."

The Bros left the store, trailing expletives behind them. Something was, apparently, a lot of fucking bullshit. The precious children I was so concerned about moments earlier didn't seem to notice. Maybe they play a lot of Call of Duty online. Or maybe I'm just an a dad nearing forty.

I nervously drummed my fingers on the game as I replayed the conversation I had with my friend Jerry about two months ago, where he assured me that Pokémon on the DS is a fun RPG that starts anew with each release, and is incredibly fun when you play it with your friends. The last game Jerry recommended to me, Might and Magic Clash of Heroes remains one of the greatest games I've ever played on the DS, so I trust him.

I trust him enough to find myself standing in GameStop*, feeling like I was renting porn, and wanting to ensure that I was getting Big Wet Asses 4, instead of Wet Big Asses 4. I approached the counter.

"Can I help you with anything?" The guy asked me.

"Yes, but you have to promise that you're not going to make fun of me."

The other guy smirked, and the first guy told me that he would not make fun of me.

"Okay," I exhaled and realized that my shoulders were tense. I relaxed them. "Do you have ... Pokémon White Version?"

He sort of chuckled. The other guy failed to cover a laugh.

"Hey!" I said, "I can see you judging me!" I said to the other guy.

"No, man. I just thought that was funny. We both play Pokémon," The other guy said.

"Yeah, it's nothing to be embarrassed about; it's a really fun RPG," The first guy said.

"That's what my friend told me," I said, "so here I am at 38 years-old finally buying Pokémon for the first time.

"I am given to understand that they are essentially the same. Is that right?"

The other guy said that I had been correctly informed, and added that it pretty much depended on what box I liked better.

"Well, this thing kind of looks like ... a dragon? I guess? Yeah, a dragon ... and dragon's are cool, so..."

The first guy typed a few things on his computer. "We have White version, but we only have it used."

"I actually prefer to buy games new, to support the developer and stuff," I said, feeling a little self-conscious, like I had just extolled the virtues of fidelity while standing in a whorehouse, or giving a shit about the middle class while visiting Congress.

"No worries," he said.

"Okay, so I guess I'll take this, and Super Scribblenauts."

He rang me up.

"Hey, I ... really like the work you do on Big Bang Theory," he said.

I know this sounds weird, but I often forget that when I'm interacting with strangers, there's a non-zero chance that they know my name and have seen me act. It used to make me feel like I had an arm growing out of my head when it happened, but I've gotten over that, and now it actually makes me happy, because I'm proud of what I do.

"Oh, thanks, man! I like being on Big Bang Theory," I said.

"Did you want a bag for these?" He asked.

"No, I'm good," I said, "I'll carry them out in the open so the whole world can know my shame. Thanks for your help."

I walked out of the store, past another employee who was explaining the differences between a couple of FPS games to a guy who was about my age, and seemed as uncertain about his purchase decision as I was about mine, but not nearly as self-conscious.

*I get it; some of you hate GameStop. That's cool, and you're certainly entitled to your opinion, but I don't need a list of reasons why it sucks, delivered in Broglish. Twitter already accomplished that for me earlier today, thanks.

in which a good choice is made

Yesterday morning, my dad called and asked me, "So are the Kings wearing a crown tonight, or a jester's hat?"

"It's a test of their maturity," I said. "They could easily be up 3-1 right now if they were a more mature team. If they can play their game tonight, instead of trying to out-Shark the Sharks like they did on Tuesday, I think they can win. If they win tonight, I think they win the series. But I'm pretty sure they're just not mature enough to settle down, and they're probably going to lose."

"So, jester's hat, then."

Did my dad just give me the tl;dr? Did I just get Trolldad'd?

"...yeah," I said, "probably."

"Well, go Kings!" He said.

"Yep. Go Kings. Love you, dad."

"Love you too."

While last night's game wasn't a collapse nearly as epic as Tuesday's disaster, the Kings still allowed three goals on five shots, including two on back-to-back shots. The defense looked like a bunch of beer leaguers, and I'll be astonished if my beloved LA Kings play more than one more game this year.

Contrary to what my only-mostly-joking Twitter Rageface may lead you to believe, this wasn't entirely unexpected. The Kings weren't even supposed to make the playoffs last year, so they're still a year ahead. This was the year they were supposed to get in (and had they not shit the bed at the end of the season, probably would have beaten Phoenix or Nashville) and maybe get to the second round. So, taking the long view, (say it with me, Cubs fans!) There's Always Next Year.

Later in the day, I was up the street talking with my neighbors, who have a five year-old and a twelve year-old. They know that Anne and I are empty nesters (SCORE) and they invited us up to their house to dye Easter eggs with their family.

I love that I live in a place where I get to stand on my lawn and visit with my neighbors, and I love even more that I live in a place where my neighbors invite my wife and me to spend some time with their family doing what is typically a family activity.

I had a choice to make: stay home and watch the hockey game, or miss at least the first two periods and go up the street. I love hockey, I love my Kings, and I love the playoffs ... but honestly, it's just a game. It wasn't a very difficult decision.

A little after seven last night, Anne and I walked up the street to their house, and spent about two hours with their family and another one of our neighbors, turning eggs into art -- well, some semblance of art, anyway. I'm one of those artists who can tell stories and perform characters, but I can't even make a good looking stickman with some pipe cleaners and a sign that says, "THIS IS A STICKMAN."

But it was still a really good time. It's been fourteen years since I dyed Easter eggs with a five year-old, and I'd forgotten just how much fun it is to watch that fragile eggshell mind in action, mixing colors, drawing shapes, and offering the unique perspective and commentary that comes from a lifetime that currently isn't much longer than sixty months.

We made eggs that were covered with glitter, eggs that had patterns drawn on in white crayon, and eggs that were shrink wrapped with pictures of duckies and bunnies.

To see my effort to nerd things up, look past the jump:

Here's my effort to nerd things up a little bit:

And here's Anne making my effort look like the Kings to her Sharks:

I know, right? The important thing is, I tried and had fun. Also, my wife out-nerded and out-crafted me. That's pretty awesome. (The five year-old said to me, "Your egg is kind of nerdy, but hers is really nerdy.")

It was a great time, and as we walked home, I was grateful to live in a place that feels like a small town, even though we're in the middle of a sprawling metropolis.

After we put our eggs in the fridge, I watched the third period of the game. It was a disaster for the Kings, who gave up three goals on four shots, and will almost certainly be eliminated on Saturday in San Jose; this team just isn't ready, yet. That's a drag, of course, but it's just a game, and as the days turn into weeks and the weeks into months, it will remain just another hockey game ... but I have the memory of making Doctor Who Easter eggs with my wife, our neighbors, and their children.

I made a good choice, and as far as the playoffs go, there's always next year.

three incredible indie bands you should listen to

My brother has been making these cool time lapse videos of life on his ranch in Montana. In a recent video, he used music that I instantly loved ... but he didn't say who it was.

Luckily for me, I live in the future, so I fired up Shazam on my Android, let it do its thing, and in less than a minute, I was streaming Telekenisis' album Telekinesis! from Rhapsody through my Sonos.

While I listened to my new favorite album, I read Jeremy's blog. That led me to another video of his where he played music from a band called The Smith Westerns. Again, I went straight to Rhapsody, and added Dye It Blonde to my Sonos playlist. I had those two albums on repeat for much of the day, yesterday.

Seriously, living in the future is awesome, even if I still don't have a jet pack, death ray, or a flying car.

Those of you who are good at math will have noticed by now that I said there were three bands, but I've only linked to two. Good job, give yourself a gold star and a check plus!

The third band is actually on the page I linked above for Telekinesis. They are called The Love Language. I heard them about a year ago, when I got an e-mail from Merge records offering to share some new music with me, based on my loudly-proclaimed love of similar-sounding bands. I've been meaning to play The Love Language on Radio Free Burrito forever, but as I am reminded at least once a day, I haven't done a new RFB in months. (Also, if you like Camera Obscura and She & Him, spend some time at Merge; they have a ton of great artists you probably haven't heard, yet.)

Anyway, I wanted to use this experience as evidence that the music industry should make it easy for people to discover music this way. People like my brother who aren't looking to profit in any way from using music (and podcasters, and YouTubers and other bloggers) should be able to do it without applying for expensive licenses and bullshit. It's valuable - and free - promotion, Music Industry Guys! I don't listen to the radio very much, and when I do, it's mostly oldies stations that play music from my youth (FML). I don't like pop music at all, so I find new indie music via recommendations from friends, or when I tell LastFM to build me a station based on some band I already like. Because Jeremy played music from The Smith Westerns and Telekinesis on his videos, I was able to discover them, buy their albums, and hopefully introduce a few thousand other new listeners to their music. That's awesome.

Now, about that death ray and jet pack...

on video game reviews and the power and influence of marketing

I came across this post at No High Scores yesterday. It's about how mega publishers are starting to limit access to the media in terms of review copies, overall access, as well as in potential ad money.

There are a lot of great things about working in the games industry.

You know what the best thing is?

I work in the games industry.

Every day I get to play, talk, and write about games. I get to talk to people who make games. I get to share my opinions with other people who play games and they get to tell me how brilliant or how stupid I am when it comes to games. When people in the sleepy Ohio town in which I live ask me what I do and I tell them they stare at me with both amazement and sometimes derision.

"Yes, Marge, I'm a 39 year old child. Just give me my mail already."

You know what I don't like? The other stuff.

Fighting with PR over review copies. Being told that we can't post a review of game X before the embargo "unless the grade is at least an 85 on Metacritic." The sites to DO score that high get all the pre-release traffic so we're forced to ether inflate a grade or lose the hits.

Being told that sites which use letter grades do not get advanced copies. (Because of the way those scores are translated on Metacritic.) Knowing this is untrue because 1Up sure does. Then realizing we aren't 1Up.

Defending my writers' competence when they "score" a game lower than the average for a game.

It's a super-interesting post that's worth reading in its entirety. I don't even pay attention to game reviews or critic scores any more, because the whole thing just seems like a corrupted process intended to generate positive PR, rather than give actual useful information to gamers.

I've pretty much stopped pre-ordering games because of this, which I know the games industry doesn't like (pre-orders are super important to publishers, because of the GameStop effect), but what choice do I have? When I can't trust sites like 1Up or Metacritic, I have to wait until people I do trust have actually played a game to tell me about it. And how do game journalists feel about this? If I were a game jouranlist, I would feel pretty gross being part of a system that's similar to the relationship between the right wing and FOX "news."

Gamers: how much influence to game reviews have on your buying choices? Is there a site that you know you can depend upon to give you a completely honest assessment of a game, like Penny Arcade does?

(No High Scores is a fantastic gaming site, by the way. I read it every day.)

drag your blanket blindly and fill your heart with smoke

Letters of Note is one of my favorite websites.

Yesterday, LoN shared this note from James Dean, which he wrote shortly after moving to New York to pursue an acting career, and before he became James Dean™:

Being an actor is the loneliest thing in the world. The stage is like a religion you dedicate yourself to and then suddenly you find that you don't have time to see friends and it's not for them to understand you don't have anybody. You're all alone with your concentration and your imagination and that's all you have. You're an actor.

He wrote that note in 1952. During the next three years, he would star in East of Eden, Giant, and Rebel Without A Cause ... then his life was over. I can see him, sitting alone in New York -- a city that can make the most gregarious, confident person in thw world feel tiny and insignificant -- writing that down, staring at an uncertain future that stared right back at him. It's hard to separate the actor and his work from the legend, but when I read this yesterday, I wondered if he was able to enjoy the success that he eventually had, or if he was just one of those artists who need the pain and anguish to create.

But this stuff that he thought made being an actor feel so lonely? I think it's what makes being an actor awesome. I love being left alone with my concentration and imagination. I love making something where something wasn't before, using my imagination and that weird thing in my artists' brain that makes me weird. (Come to think of it, that's what I love about being a writer, too.) One of my favorite acting teachers, who helped me level up quite a bit, once told us that when we're performing, whether it's for an audience of thirty or an audience of three thousand, we have to be committed to our character, completely consumed by the scene, and intimately connected to the other actors. She said that acting was "quiet, public solitude," and for some reason I never bothered to examine too closely, I grokked that, and it's stayed with me ever since.

I always feel sad when I think about or watch James Dean, knowing that he died so young, before he really had a chance to figure things out the way we do when we get into our thirties. I hope that, if he had, the lonely kid who wrote that note would have once day found comfort in quiet, public solitude.

each sensation makes a note in my symphony

The alarm went off at 7 this morning. Though I was asleep around 11 last night, the jolt of misery that shot through my body as I reached over to turn it off confirmed -- again -- that I am not a Morning Person.

I slowly opened my eyes, and saw that Anne had already gotten out of bed. In her place, both of our dogs had curled up on the bed, waiting for me to wake up. Riley opened her eyes and thumped her tail when she saw that I was awake. Seamus made a snoring noise and rolled onto his back.

Though I am decidedly not a Morning Person, it's hard to feel cranky when I wake up to the unconditional love of both of my dogs, who are convinced that I am the greatest thing in the world (shut up. They do so think that, and it has nothing at all to do with the role I play in ensuring they get regular walks and meals.)

I had less than an hour to get ready to go to work on Generator Rex, so I made instant coffee and toaster waffles.

"I know," I said to the empty kitchen, "but this morning is more about efficiency than anything else."

As hot water splashed into my mug, turning dark brown powder that smelled sort of like coffee into dark black liquid that didn't quite taste like coffee, I said, "don't judge me."

"Who are you talking to?" Anne said from the living room.

"Uhh ... myself," I said.

"Ooooh-kay then," she said.

I browsed Reddit while I ate my second bachelor breakfast in as many weeks. Twenty minutes later, I was showered and dressed. I kissed my wife good bye, and drove out to Cartoon Network.

I've never seen Generator Rex, but I understand that the damn kids today are crazy about it. The scripts I've read are great, and the cast is a real joy to work with. I can't say much about who I play or what I do, but it's a whole lot of fun. I'm lucky that I get to work on a bunch of different shows, but I'm especially lucky to consistently work with great people who love what they do, and are fun to work with. Seriously: there isn't a whole lot of drama involved in this acting thing. (HA HA SEE WHAT I DID THERE.)

Today, one of the other actors had a lot of dialog in a scene without my character. I planned for this by bringing my Kindle with me, so I ended up spending a fair amount of time "at work" actually reading Sandman Slim (it is such a great book, you guys). When it was time for me to go back into the booth with the rest of the cast, I was pleased to discover that it wasn't a challenge at all for me to trade the dark urban fantasy world I was reading for the action-packed cartoon world I was helping to create. I silently marked the moment on my mental character sheet, and awarded myself some Voice Actor XP.

I love voice acting, and I'm grateful that I have opportunities like this where I can work with truly talented people, learn from them, and then apply that knowledge and experience to work with even more talented people. Of all the self-perpetuating cycles I could be caught in, I'd say this one is pretty awesome ... even if it makes me confront precisely how much I am Not A Morning Person on a semi-regular basis.

Your move, Fan Fiction Writers

This is Safe for Work.

As Chris Hardwick says, I think I'm going to buy this, and skip the naughty bits so I can see the story.

(There are a bunch of NSFW behind the scenes pictures from actress April O'Neil -- who is a gigantic geek, apparently -- right here.)

shameless self promotion

It is said that an artist's works sell as well as the artist promotes them.

I struggle with this reality, because while it's simple and enjoyable for me to link to my wife's friend's store, or my friend's wife's Etsy shop, it feels weird and kind of gross to me when I promote my own stuff.

But I have a kid in college, and people frequently ask me where they can get my books and things, so it seems like a good idea to have a post I can point to (or reprint) from time to time that answers that question and pays his tuition.

So here you go, infrequent interrogator! Thanks in advance for your support.

Books

Here's my virtual bookshelf.

Here's my author page at Amazon.

Here's my storefront at Lulu.

Memories of the Future Volume One (Free Bonus! Memories of the Futurecast!)
The Happiest Days of our Lives
Sunken Treasure
Just a Geek (eBook from Google store) (From Amazon) (From Powell's)
Dancing Barefoot (Amazon) (Powell's)
Clash of the Geeks

Kindle and eBooks

The Day After and Other Stories (Kindle Store)
Hunter (Kindle Store)
Sunken Treasure (Kindle Store)

Audiobooks

Just A Geek: Teh Audiobook
The Happiest Days of our Lives Free Bonus! Radio Free Burrito!
METAtropolis: Cascadia
The Android's Dream
Agent to the Stars
Peter and Max: A FABLES Novel
Boneshaker

Clothing

Most of these Jinx designs will be discontinued very soon, if you care about that sort of thing:

The WWdN:iX Family Crest
Marshmallow Meeps
My Sword Glows Blue in the Presence of Rules Lawyers
Never Forget Your Roots

Other Neat Stuff

Awesome calendars, mugs and other things from my brother, Jeremy Wheaton, who is an amazing photographer.
The Memories of the Futuremug!
The Guild Season 3
The Guild Season 4

I think that's everything. Wow. It's kind of cool that I've had a hand in making so many things! I love that.

raptors

This is in the Electric office here in Los Angeles. I took this picture when I joined John Rogers and Beth Riesgraf there last year for our live chat after The Ho Ho Ho Job aired.

it's like winning the actor lottery

When we're on location for Eureka, Felicia Day is like my best friend and my younger sister, all at once. We give each other shit all day long, we hang out when we're not working, and we lean on each other when we have those days all artists have that make us question why we thought we could do this silly thing in the first place.

All of our scenes yesterday were together, with Neil Grayston (who plays Fargo). I adore everyone in the cast, but Neil, Felicia and I spent so much time together last season, we've formed a special bond (helped along by repeated viewings of clips from The Room between setups, Leeeeesssaaaahhhhgghhh.)

I can't discuss the specifics, but I had some major technobabble in one scene, and though I nailed it in the master and all of Neil and Felicia's coverage, when it was time for my coverage, my brain took a walk. It was really embarrassing, because it made me feel like I wasn't prepared, even though I knew the scene, and had worked on it precisely to prevent the sort of brainfreeze I found myself experiencing. Everyone was kind and patient (it happens to all of us from time to time) and we got through it, but I still felt like I jerk when the scene was finally done. Jamie Paglia (writer and executive producer) and Matt Hastings (director) both told me that we got the scene, and I knew that there were takes where I nailed it, but I still felt like a rookie when it was all over.

We broke for lunch, and the three of us ate together in Neil's trailer. We watched a bunch of YouTube videos that ranged from hilarious to so-bad-they're-good to so-bad-they're-bad-really-bad-no-seriously-turn-it-off. It may not seem like something worth mentioning, but I've worked as an actor for -- holy shit -- 30 years, and this kind of friendship, camaraderie, and genuine enjoyment of each other's company isn't as common as you'd hope for or expect.

After work, Felicia and I went to the comic shop, and while we were grabbing our pulls for the week,we stopped in front of the Dr. Horrible book.

"I can't stand here and have you looking at us from the cover of this book," I said. "That's weird."

"It is a little weird, isn't it?" She said.

Before we could move, a couple of guys walked over to us. "Can we take a picture with you?" They asked. I looked at Felcia, because I didn't want to say yes for both of us.

"Is that cool?" I said.

"Of course," she said, like I'd just asked the dumbest question in the world.

"Okay, it's fine with me," I said.

We posed for a picture, and when we were done, one of the guys said, "Are you guys here for The Guild?"

I love when people see me and tell me they watch The Guild. I'm so proud of it, and I love playing Fawkes so much, it's the coolest thing in the world to meet people who enjoy watching it.

I turned to Felicia. "Can you imagine having a budget to shoot on a location like Vancouver?"

"Yeah that's not going to happen," she said with a laugh.

"We're here for Eureka," I said.

"Oh! That's so cool!" The guy said.

We talked for a minute, and then we all went back to our shopping.

When Felicia and I were finished, we grabbed some dinner, and went back to our respective apartments.

While I was walking down the hallway toward my door, I thought to myself, "I would be incredibly lucky just to work on a series and have some financial security. I would be incredibly lucky to work on a series where I get to play a character I enjoy playing. I would be incredibly lucky to work on a series where I really like the other actors ... the fact that I get to do all of these things on Eureka is like winning the actor lottery."