Barbara Delinsky's Blog, page 6

Audiobook recommendations

I’m new to listening.  It’s only recently that I’ve begun to intersperse eye-reading with ear-reading.  And it’s taken discipline, keeping my mind on every spoken word, rather then letting it wander, as sometimes happens with a book.  But for those times when you can’t be glued to the physical page – like when you’re driving or working out – listening to audiobooks is really pretty cool. I guess I can say that because I’ve lucked into some well done ones.  Lucked into?  Actually, the best were recommendations from a local independent bookseller.  In case you don’t have one of those yourself, there’s me. Here are three recommendations of books that I loved.  You may want to read them in print.  I just happened to listen.

I had never read Ann Patchett before. Though many members of my book group had repeatedly recommended “Bel Canto,” I never got to it. But when I needed something to listen to in the car this July driving back and forth to the lake, and my local bookseller recommended “State of Wonder,” I bought it. I’m so glad I did. I loved this book. Right from the start, the reader captured many different voices well enough for me to follow perfectly as I got into the plot.

And that plot was awesome. There was enough doubt planted in the opening events to make me suspicious of where we were headed, and were enough subsequent twists to keep me wondering. I did anticipate some of what happened, but the telling of it was so riveting that I was glued to each word. Each time I turned on my car, I was immersed in the Amazonian jungle, the imagery was that vivid. I could feel it, smell it, see it. The author’s detail was incredible. During one scene telling of an encounter with an anaconda, I must have had such a look of horror on my face that drivers around me would have worried, had they bothered to look.

Despite some plot twists at the very end of the book that didn’t sit as well as the rest, I am still missing the voice, the setting, and the characters in “State of Wonder.” I highly recommend this read.

Oh, but then, I also loved, loved, loved “The Little Paris Bookshop,” by Nina George.

The reviews were mixed, but I do think that listening to the audio book may have made a difference. The reader was wonderful. I loved his French accent, the French setting, and the humor. I loved the love story – yup, gotta admit that. Toward the end, I was driving around town just to hear a little more. I was so sorry when it ended that I couldn’t believe some of those negative reader reviews.

But did I love “The Little Paris Bookshop” because of the talent of the narrator?  There were actually three of them, two women and a man, though the man did the bulk of the work. Would I have grown bored with some of the plot twists, without the lure of that fabulous, accented voice? Would I have felt the ending was too pat or too syrupy sweet, if the process of listening hadn’t been so enjoyable?

This raises the question, of course, of whether a skillful actor can add a whole new element to a book, above and beyond what the author delivers with her words. I may have hated this book had I read it in print. Or loved it. I’m so glad I listened instead. It brought me many pleasurable hours.

And finally, consider “Our Souls At Night,” by the late Kent Haruf.

I listened to this using my new Audible subscription. I was able to switch back and forth between phone and iPad, which meant that I listened to some of this while I was outside walking through gorgeous fall weather.  Maybe that affected my feeling about the book. Whatever, I found “Our Souls at Night” to be delightful.

It’s a slow book. There’s no great action here, no riveting suspense.  It’s also a short book. Kent Haruf writes in a style that is beautiful but spare. I think the total listening time was five hours (versus the usual 11 or 12). I could have probably read it in print in three hours, max. But truly, after suffering through a recent 500+ page tome that badly needed editing, this book was a breath of fresh air. It’s about the budding relationship between two lonely 70-somethings who have decided to thumb their noses at convention in their small mid-western town by spending their nights together. The characters were wonderfully quiet but authentic, and their dilemmas were real.

The reader was skilled. Men don’t do women as well as women do men, but this male reader did just fine. He made listening to the story a pleasant journey, a good thing as it was the final one for Haruf.  He died last winter, a great loss for the literary world.

There you have it, though, three audio book recommendations.  I have three new print recommendations about which to blog next, but in the meantime, consider the question I posed above.  Do you think that the skill of the narrator can add an element to a book that wouldn’t otherwise be there?

 

Being Grumpy

I’m a positive person. I pride myself on that. But there are times – there are times – when frustration sets in, and I need to vent. I’ve shared pet peeves with you in the past, but I’m revisiting them now. Do you agree with any? Do you have your own?

First and worst, drivers texting. When someone darts out in front of you from a side street, then crawls along for a block before suddenly speeding up? Or when a driver slows on the highway, even weaves a little between lanes? You know that driver is using his phone for something that takes his eyes from the road. And urgency is fine. But put on a blinker and pull over, then text all you want. Or wait before barging out into traffic and holding up everyone while you do your thing.

Second, expiration dates. I understand dates on perishable items. They ensure that what I buy is fresh, and yes, once past the “Best by” date, milk begins to smell sour. But toothpaste? Vaseline? Underarm deodorant? Olive oil? Tea bags? Mustard? The temperature in my house is moderate year-round, and I store things in cupboards or the fridge. Does uncooked rice go bad? Pasta? Vacuum sealed pickles? Yet these have expiration dates, too.  Since my kids are watchdogs for what their kids eat, I regularly purge my shelves, tossing out what I consider to be perfectly good items. Does boxed mac ‘n cheese really go bad? I would give things like this to the local food pantry if it weren’t for that past date on the bottom. Are these dates for real?

Third, service “windows”. Lately, I’ve had dishwasher problems. The repair service gives me a half-day window, during which I’m expected to hang around. Oh, yes, they say they’ll call 30 minutes ahead of time. But what if you are a 45-minute drive from home? Or what if (as has happened multiple times) the service person calls when he is 10 or 15 minutes away. I understand the need for some kind of window, and don’t mind a two-hour one. But isn’t anything more than that a failure of “service”?

Breaking news. On tv. (Sigh.) Isn’t “news,” by definition, breaking? I also hate it when, repeatedly, a reporter uses the words “exclusive” or “reported first by us.” Or when reporters use bad grammar, which then perpetuates the badness.

Junk mail annoys me. Oh, I’ve gotten good at tossing it in the recycle bin on my way into the house.  Still, does my postman really need to break his back handling piles of unwanted — and unrequested — magazines?

Automated phone menus annoy me. Still.

Unsubscribe buttons that don’t work annoy me. Always.

Men who don’t return phone calls.  I’ve needed any number of plumbers, electricians, window people here before winter, and every woman for whom I’ve left a message has returned my call in a day.  None of the men did.  Why??????

I hate videos that automatically start, when all you want to do is to read an article.  And then when you can’t find which of the boxes on the screen is the one making the noise? Grrrr.

Am I right? Wrong? Just being a grump? What are your latest pet peeves?

BD does the island

Think “energy of women.” I did not come up with this phrase. My agent did when, yesterday, I was telling her about spending last week on a tiny island with seven other women. The island in question is part of the Thousand Islands archipelago in the St. Lawrence River in Canada. At the tippy top of its thirteen-ish acres sits a beautiful house, replete with en-suite bathrooms, a dishwasher, and full Internet connection. So we weren’t exactly roughing it.

But I had never done anything like this before. I knew one of the other women. That’s it. Since she is an adored friend, and the others were all adored friends of hers, I figured I couldn’t go wrong. Right?

Let me tell you. The closer we got to departure, the greater my doubts. Six days stuck on a self-contained island with strangers? It took a leap of faith on my part not to chicken out at the last minute.

I am so, so glad I didn’t. It was an amazing week – amazing and refreshing and energizing. I can’t remember when I’ve had so many interesting discussions, such good food (all organic, much picked from the island garden by our own little hands), laughed as much, or had such sheer fun. I can’t remember when I felt such appreciation for the intellect, the inclusiveness, the pure joy of life that women possess.

Mind you, this was not a male-bashing adventure (though I do confess there were itty-bitty passing moments when there was a wee tiny smidgeon of that). But no. This was all about women at their most positive, the product of each our own very different histories, now come together uninhibited and unburdened by our daily lives. And these women all do have lives. We all had to wangle our way to taking this week off from those lives.

Talk about inclusiveness? From the very first, I felt like a sister. Talk about fun? Playing tennis, swimming, kayaking to other islands, walking the paths of our own island, touring the river for four hours in an elegant old wooden boat – and then, on our one rainy day, taking turns doing a jigsaw puzzle spread on a huge double-wide desk?

I brought books. I brought crossword puzzles. Prior to leaving home, I was seriously wondering what I would do with these women on this island all this time. I hadn’t known that when I woke up early and went downstairs for tea and the online newspaper that there would always be someone else on the porch, and that we would talk for an hour about anything and everything. I hadn’t known that women from such different places could find so much in common, or be so interested in each others’ lives, or could so open-mindedly and rationally disagree. I hadn’t realized that, regardless of age, when strong, confident women gather, their energy is both infectious and boundless.

Heading for the island, we carried eight bottles of wine. We left the island with six of those unopened. The energy during those candle-lit evenings came not from wine, but from us. There were times when our laughter was so raucous that I thought the neighbors would yell – until I realized there were no neighbors. That’s one of the good things about isolated little islands.

The last time I experienced anything close to this was childhood summers at camp. Eight weeks with girls who arrived as strangers and left only after endless hugs, many tears, and long “train letters” that were written on toilet paper to be read during painful trips home? None of us last week wrote letters on toilet paper. Nor did we cry. But the bonding was the same. And the memories? Thank you, ladies. You’ve given me those.

We joked about my getting a book out of the week. No. Way. Some memories are too precious to share. You notice I haven’t mentioned names here, not of the island nor members of our group.  Nor have I posted any picture that is remotely personal — certainly not the one of play money stuck, well, stuck places — how funny was that, ladies?  I’m not saying that some thoughts from the week won’t appear in a future book. How could that not happen, when I pull from my life when I create a book, and this was such a defining experience for me? But rest assured, dear friends, that your secrets are safe, as I know mine are.

So. You readers. Have you ever felt the energy of women? Modern lives are busy. Much as we communicate on Facebook and the like, we are often physically apart. The days of bonding over the back yard clothes line are gone. How do we recapture that sense of camaraderie and support?

To what are we most committed?

Commitments is my 42nd child – but every single child of mine is special to me. Their birthdays are cause for celebration, which is what I’m doing today. I’m celebrating the birth of Commitments as an eBook.

It’s about time! Commitments was first published in 1988 and has been issued in every other format but digital. Why? For one thing, because eBooks didn’t exist in 1988, when “electronic rights” weren’t even on publishers’ radar screens. For another, because more and more of you are reading electronically each year. And for a third, because my current publisher agreed that publishing Commitments digitally is long overdue.

1988? That’s an old book, you say. Not so, I say. Yes, it was written back then, but it deals with the same kind of timely issue – namely, how committed we are to those we love – that I write about today. Blueprints and Sweet Salt Air both deal directly with this, as do so many others of my recent books. And now there’s Commitments.

Commitments was actually a pioneer. It was my first full-length book to deal with life changing on a dime after a single, tragic event – now a hallmark of my work. It was the first one to deal with one of the toughest decisions a woman can make. And the first one to have a main character in prison. Injustice is one of its themes, and, in that, Commitments is perhaps more of a mystery than most I write.

Of the many strong woman who populate my novels, Sabrina Stone, the Commitments protagonist, ranks high. From the novel’s onset, she is alone in dealing with her brain-damaged child, when her husband finds every excuse not to help.

And yet Commitments isn’t a downer. Sabrina does have a family that loves her, parents and a brother so bizarre and heart-touching that I marvel now at my own imagination then!

And forbidden love? Oh, there’s that aplenty. And good, sweet sex.

Those of you who loved Blueprints and Sweet Salt Air will love Commitments. If you haven’t read it, try it now. If you have read it, why not splurge on a re-read? At $4.99, the price is right, and in digital format, it’s the perfect book to read while commuting, vacationing, or simply escaping the onslaught of fall’s endless football.

So. What do you think of Sabrina’s husband? Is he an aberration, or is he typical?  Would your significant other step up to the plate if the going got rough?

 

My Recent Reading, Part 2

Eclectic. That’s how I’d describe my reading so far this summer. If you read Part 1 of “My Recent Reading,” you’ll know that by early July, I had finished reading a light-hearted summer novel, a memoir, and the new Harper Lee. This next batch of book reviews include an adventure novel, a magical YA novel, an audiobook, and a book about Huntington’s Disease. Here goes.

Several years ago, I read – and loved – “The Girls,” so when I saw that its author, Lori Lansens, had a new book out, “The Mountain Story,” I quickly bought it.

I was drawn into the story on the first page and stayed there through the last. This is a survival story of four people lost on a mountain. The book is rich in realistic dialogue, prose that is picturesque without being pretentious, and perfect pacing. I liked the main character, Wolf, from the get-go, and came to care deeply for the others as well. While not laden with earth-shattering issues, “The Mountain Story” is a very, very good read.

YA novels. Do you read them? I do. I like the straightforwardness of the plot and the insight the characters give me into the teenage mind. I also vet them for my grandchildren, who thankfully like to read. This one, “Nightbird,” is by Alice Hoffman.

I’ve always loved her work, particularly the magical element in her books, and “Nightbird” has that aplenty. It tells of a long-ago witch’s curse that to this day gives all boys in the heroine’s family wings. Yes, Twig’s beloved big brother James has wings, meaning that he is home-schooled and only goes out at night, when he flies off until the sun rises again. The thrust of the story is reversing the curse, and the writing is clever, smooth, and intelligent. When I winced at how pat the ending was, I had to remind myself of its target audience. That said, my granddaughter will love this. What eleven-year-old wouldn’t?

“Inside the O’Briens” is by Lisa Genova, whose earlier book, “Still Alice,” is about Alzheimer’s disease. This new one is about Huntington’s, specifically as it affects the family of a Boston cop who slowly but inexorably develops the symptoms and becomes disabled.

Huntington’s is a family disease, passed genetically from generation to generation. So when one member is diagnosed, the others are deeply and permanently affected. This is a novel steeped in fact and beautifully written. Each family member is interesting, handling the HD scourge in a different way. There are times when the plethora of information on the disease made the book feel more like a Public Service Announcement than a novel, but the general cause was worth it. It’s a painful read. But solid.

Finally, a delightful romp with Liane Moriarty’s “The Husband’s Secret,” to which I listened, unabridged, while riding to and from the lake.

I had never read Liane Moriarty before, and I was charmed by this book. I found the characters to be very normal, ultimately real, and generally likeable people. The brilliance for me, though, was in the plotting. The tension set in early, and as I listened on through plot twist after plot twist, I increasingly wondered (in a good way) what was going to happen. As many books as I’ve plotted myself, I didn’t guess the ending to this one. But it was perfect. The book, which is set in Australia, could as easily have taken place in suburbs of America – except that then it wouldn’t have been read in an Australian accent, which I loved.

There you go. All caught up. So I’ve shown you mine, now you show me yours. Any reviews of recently read books that you’re willing to share?

My Recent Reading, Part I

There are many things on my to-blog-about list, like multi-tasking, cat videos, and food expiration dates. But you read my blogs because you read my books, and right now, in the thick of the summer reading season, I need to blog about books – specifically the ones I’ve read.

Summer is a great reading time for me. Last weekend being a quiet one, no guests, just DH and me, I read all day Saturday and Sunday, AND continued listening to an audiobook for six hours, back and forth to the lake.

I’m lucky. I know that. Some of you have to work weekends, others have family commitments, and few have a lake house with a husband who spends hours out on his boat, leaving me (think: golf widow) time to read. So I do count my blessings. That said, I don’t like reading bad books.  I’ve begun putting those aside without finishing them, something I never used to do.  How about you?  Do you always finish the books you start?

Thankfully, the books I’ve recently read have been terrific.  Here are my book reviews.

First, “Eight Hundred Grapes,” by Laura Dave.

This is an easy read, with witty dialogue and likeable characters. I enjoyed learning more about growing grapes and making wine; the author either knows her vineyards or fooled me completely. There’s nothing heavy here, nothing requiring work, which makes it a good summer read.

Next comes “H is for Hawk,” by Helen Macdonald.

I don’t often read memoirs, much less wildlife books, but when I heard that this book was about dealing with grief by raising a hawk, I was intrigued. I remained intrigued intermittently as I read, most enjoying (to my surprise) the specifics about the hawk. I kept waiting for the grief-handling part to resonate – how raising Mabel helped Macdonald come to terms with her father’s death – and it never did. But the writing is excellent. And I did love reading about Mabel.

“Go Set A Watchman,” Harper Lee’s newly discovered piece, is a treat.

It started so slowly that I was fearful those critics who said it should never have been published were right. Once past my expectation that it would be another courthouse drama, aka “To Kill A Mockingbird,” I was completely sucked in. This new book is a period piece that focuses on a young woman’s relationship with her father – a young woman who has idolized her father so thoroughly that she is unable to form an identity separate from his. “Go Set A Watchman” describes her very necessary, very healthy separation from him.

Early critics have been fixated on the issue of Atticus being racist. I saw him more as a product of time and place and, even more important, as a man who encouraged his daughter to disagree with him and to fight for her beliefs. The climactic discussions between Jean Louise and Atticus, and then between Jean Louise and her Uncle Jack, are remarkable. They are also timely, given recent issues with the Confederate flag.

I can’t imagine that those who actually do read this book cover-to-cover will find that it tarnishes “To Kill A Mockingbird.” In its own way, “Go Set A Watchman” is every bit as brilliant.

BTW, and I’m sorry, but I have to make this analogy, I watched the first episode of “I Am Cait” last night. It was very touching at times and certainly convinced me that Caitlyn Jenner has wanted to be female since childhood. Was it riveting TV? Would it have ever seen the light of day without the Kardashian connection? Perhaps not.

Likewise, would “Go Set A Watchman” have ever been published without the ‘To Kill A Mockingbird” connection? Perhaps not. Like “I Am Cait,” though, there is enough to appreciate in it – more for some people, less for others – to warrant its showing. Lord knows, both are more substantial than some of the fare out there.

Anyway, regarding summer reading, that’s it for now. Do you have a favorite book to recommend?  I have four more for you, but I’m saving them for “My Recent Reading, Part 2,” coming in another week or so.

Does the ending suit you?

I’ve done a lot of reading this summer. I’ve also spent a lot of time studying reader reviews on Amazon, as well as taking part in discussion groups on Goodreads. Two of the books I’ve read, in particular – Harper Lee’s Go Set a Watchman and Lisa Genova’s Inside the O’Briens – had endings with which readers took issue. And I don’t just mean readers saying they didn’t like the ending. I mean readers saying that the ending “stank,” that the author “blew it,” that the ending “ruined” the book. We’re talking over-the-top stridency.

At least, that’s my take on it.  Being an author, I’m sensitive about this.  Perhaps over-sensitive.  But consider this.

I’ve always maintained that you can give six authors the same plot, and they’ll write very different books. Likewise, there may be six different ways for an author to end her own book, but she can pick only one. She does this with care, ending the book in a way that she feels is most consistent with her writing style and her goals.  She can’t please all her readers.  She knows that.  She can only do what she thinks is right for this book into which she has poured her heart and soul for however many months or years the writing has taken. She certainly doesn’t put all possible endings in a hat, close her eyes, and pick one.

But you’d think it, based on some online comments. And not only about endings.  About plot twists, characters, and language.  What about respect for the author’s choices, even if we don’t like them?  What about trying to figure out why the author did what she did before dismissing her as incompetent?

Over the years, I’ve done my share of judging writing contests. And boy, could I have let loose with criticism when an entry hit me the wrong way. Did I? Of course not.  It would have been hurtful, for one thing, and, for another, it would have been counterproductive for a would-be author. Every book has positives, if you make the effort to look for them. A reviewer (or judge) can point these out and then, in constructive terms, point out its failings. Can’t she?

One of the Goodreads discussions I monitored deteriorated when two participants repeatedly went after each other. Each had a point to make and wanted the last word. It became a power struggle. On another board, another member didn’t like the ending of Go Set a Watchman, and went on and on about it, just couldn’t let it go. She actually began listing participants who were on her side, like it was a contest. Seriously.

Lack of civility is rampant in our society. Internet anonymity and talk show vitriol has taken its toll. But we’re intelligent people.  We’re readers. Can’t we rise above this?

 

Good reading

There’s reading. And then there’s READING. The first is a solitary endeavor from start to finish, done on the subway, or curled up in a chair, or in bed. The second adds a step at the end: discussing a book with someone else who has read it. That person may be a single individual. It may be a group of women in a nail shop. It may be a formal book group, either one you’ve been in for a while or one affiliated with a bookstore.

I’ve been in the same book group for more than 25 years. Too often to count, I’ve driven to a meeting thinking that the book we’d chosen was pretty empty – only to find that the evening’s discussion gave it new meaning and depth. The best of those discussions left me thinking about the book long after the meeting was done.

What makes for a good discussion? It’s about asking the right questions. “Did you like the book?” doesn’t quite do it for me, but it’s definitely an ice-breaker. Where to go from there? I often have questions as I read (and write) – about the plot, the symbolism, the prose – and I try to jot them down to raise in a later discussion. That said, I do love Reading Group Guides supplied by the publisher. Some questions are dense, others simple. But they certainly get you thinking.

I always look for Reading Group Guides. Sometimes they’re printed in the back of the book, other times simply printed online. In that they capture the book’s themes and issues, they may help me decide whether or not to buy the book, and once I’m into the reading, they open channels of thought. Beware, of course. RGGs often contain spoilers. Me, I read the end of books first, so it isn’t a problem.

When it comes to the RGG for Blueprints, here’s what we have so far. Yes, there are spoilers in this RGG, so, if you haven’t read the book, take care. On the other hand, if you have read Blueprints, I’d love your thoughts on these questions. Are there any you would add? It’s not too late, so speak up!

A final word on book groups. Increasingly, there’s the phenomenon of online groups. The most noted right now is Goodreads, which has millions of members and a ton of book discussions on-going on at any given time. Membership is free, and the site is fairly simple to use. I’ve been a member since 2011, when my publisher set me up to do interviews, but I’m only now growing active. That means listing books I’m currently reading, books I’ve finished reading, and books I want to read. It also means reviewing books I’ve read and reading reviews of books on my to-read list. I haven’t yet joined a specific “group,” which would offer the kind of book group discussion I’m blogging about now, but I hope to.

And there’s the crux of it. I like my reading to be social. I want to hear what other people have to say about the books I’m reading. It enhances my appreciation of the book.

What do you say?

P.S.  I’ve just posted a poll on Goodreads asking readers if they use Reading Group Guides.  If you’re a member, you can vote right here:

Barbara’s Poll on Goodreads

I always look for Reading Group Guides. Do you?

Always

Sometimes

Never

Do you believe in love at first sight?

I do. I admit it. I’m a hopeless romantic who, yes, does believe in love at first sight. I’m not saying it’s the only way love happens. But – skeptics be damned – I’ve known too many couples who were partners from the start. They felt an instant connection, and it wasn’t only physical, but emotional and intellectual as well.

If the attraction is only physical, that would be lust at first sight. I’ve known couples like that, too – couples who lay eyes on each other for the very first time and feel a powerful chemical attraction, if little else. In instances where chemical attraction evolves into emotion, love may follow. Otherwise, the prognosis is not good. If something happens to the physical – illness, accident, wanderlust – and there’s nothing else, what’s left?

Love can grow out of friendship. I’ve always been an advocate of this. It gives people a chance to vet each other – to make sure they are emotionally compatible – before committing to something beyond friendship. Haven’t we all known couples who were friends for years before becoming romantically involved? Let’s call this like at first sight.

And loathing at first sight? I’m talking about couples who couldn’t stand each other when they first met, just rubbed each other totally the wrong way, until something happened to dissolve the hatred.

Before I began writing mainstream fiction, I wrote fifty romances – books in which 80% of the story is romance and 20% is something else. In some of these, my hero and heroine fell in love at first sight. In others, the physical came first, or friendship, or, yes, dislike. In some instances, there was intrigue, curiosity, even terror at first sight, none of which start with ‘l’ but all of which represent an emotion, and where emotion exists, there is the possibility of love.

What about Blueprints? This book is a novel about family, but even aside from issues of mother-daughter competition and instant parenthood, there are two touching love stories in these pages. Caroline and Dean have been friends for years and were so from the start. They’re a perfect example of like at first sight. Jamie and Chip are something else. Is what they experience love at first sight? In as much as either of them is thinking about love, through the chaos of raising each a young child, it might be that. Or simply a case of misery loving company? What’s your thought on this?

My husband and I met in college. We were each dating other people at the time, but I remember many nights in the library when we sat and talked for hours. Like at first sight? I think so. At least, until we broke up with the people we were dating and started dating ourselves, at which point it became more.

Do you believe in love at first sight? If you have a heart-throb, how did you two meet?

 

I won’t grow up!

Peter Pan had it right. If growing up means no more fun and adventure, I don’t want to grow up either. I like fun and adventure – like doing new things – like challenging myself. I like doing something I never imagined myself doing. Oh yeah, sometime it’s daunting. I have a comfort zone, just like you all.

But life is about growing. Have you done anything new in the last year? Taken a new job? Signed up for a new course? Tried a new diet? Taken up a new sport? Befriended someone new?

Growing older isn’t always fun. There are aches and pains. Younger people come along and exclude you from the tennis court, the nail shop conversation, the bestseller list (oh yeah, it’s true, but for another blog). Your boss suggests you wear your hair differently or dress differently, all to look younger and more hip.

Blueprints talks about this issue. Caroline hosts a reality home construction show, but loses this job in favor of her daughter, solely because the producers want to attract a younger audience. Isn’t this what’s happening in real life? Think of the evening news. As Caroline’s ex-father-in-law, who is 80 and all male, says with a chuckle, “Personally, I like seeing those little blondes reading the news in their cocktail dresses.”

Personally, I don’t. But that’s because I prefer more seasoned reporters who have earned their spot at the anchor desk. I trust them in part because I feel they’re mature. And because they don’t look like clones but like women with brains of their own.

Of course, I also loved Brian Williams. And look where that got me.

Age is an issue in Blueprints. It’s an issue for Jamie, who is 29 and is told by her fiancé that she’s too old not to be able to commit to marriage, and it’s an issue for Caroline, who is 56 and, after struggling to find herself, is told she has to change.

Too young or too old – do you have age issues?

One of my favorite lines from Blueprints (aside from the “little blondes” one above) comes from Caroline at a pivotal point in the book. “It was the moment when she realized that the important part of growing older was the growing part, and that resisting change meant forever standing still.”

Do you agree? Disagree? Or, is there another line from Blueprints that resonates with you?