Josh Lanyon's Blog, page 29

Advent Calendar Day 22

I always like to share a few lovely, inspirational photos during the course of the advent calendar OR failing that (coz to be honest, I'm not quite in that serene space yet) maybe a little holiday giggle?


Here's how I always picture my Christmas...

Alena Gan licensed through Shutterstock




But honestly, the reality is a lot closer to...

Rad FX licensed through Shutterstock

Okay, maybe not that bad, but... How are your holidays going so far? Do you have any special holiday traditions? What's your favorite part about this time of year? What's your least favorite part about this time of year? Are you the top picture or the bottom picture?

Advent Calendar - Day 21

Good morning! Today we're doing something completely different. The fiendishly talented (emphasis on fiendish) Haldis came up with an idea (I KNOW, I KNOW, ) for a fun little version of a kind of Mad Libs game based on a scene from one of my Christmas stories.

So I'll let Haldis explain it in her own words, but basically you make a list of words using Haldis's list as your guide, paste your list into the comments section below, and then on Monday I'll post two or three versions of the actual scene using the replacement words from the submissions.

The prize will be... Hmmm... I'm not sure yet! We'll have to see how this turns out. But there will be some kind of prize. I'll give it some thought before Monday.

Anywhoooooo, here's Haldis:

A terrible thing has happened, Dearest Fanyons, and I need your help. Some of Josh’s wonderful, amazing words have vanished from one of her Christmas stories and I need your imagination and creativity to replace them. I have every faith that you are up to the task! Good luck! Here is the list of what we need:

NounA foodA foodVerbPlural NounNounVerbName #1Name #2NounA NumberVerbPlural NounNounAdverbA foodBody partAdjective NounVerbA FoodBody partVerbAdjectiveAdjective
The new completed story will be posted on Monday after all of the words have been replaced.

Advent Calendar - Day 20

D-d-day 2O??????How can this be? But here we are five-count-'em-five days from Christmas! Ready or not, here it comes.

So today is simply a giveaway day.

I have twenty US and twenty UK audio download codes for EACH of the following four winter-themed books: All I Want For Christmas, Baby, it's Cold, Winter Kill and Slay Ride.

That's a lot of audio books! 

These audio books are absolutely free to you. However, they can only be redeemed directly through audible.com/acx-promo OR audible.co.uk/acx-promo. If you're not already a member, you may have to supply a credit card. I'm not sure. I know you are not charged for these books and you should be able to unsubscribe whenever you like.

So here's how we're going to do this. Share one thing you love about the holidays in the comment section below and state which audio book you'd be interested in. Over the next few days, I'll go through and randomly select people to receive download codes (so please remember to check back periodically).

Happy Friday! :-)

Advent Calendar - Day 19

I am really, really, REALLY hoping I don't get sick for the holidays. The SO is now fully flu-ish (DIDN'T WE JUST GO THROUGH THIS TWO MONTHS AGO??) and my tonsils are sore (I think it's more fear and imagination than actual germs in my case).

Anyway, today we have a poem from one of my absolute favorite poets, Sara Teasdale. Teasdale's work is romantic and emotional and not exactly what one would call timely--except that some things never change. Things that by now should have changed. Things that we should perhaps think about occasionally--especially during this season--when so much of our online time is spent, credit card in hand.


A Winter NightSara Teasdale
My window-pane is starred with frost,The world is bitter cold to-night,The moon is cruel, and the windIs like a two-edged sword to smite.
God pity all the homeless ones,The beggars pacing to and fro.God pity all the poor to-nightWho walk the lamp-lit streets of snow.
My room is like a bit of June,Warm and close-curtained fold on fold,But somewhere, like a homeless child,My heart is crying in the cold.

Advent Calendar Day 18

Another fictional (OR IS IT???) offering from Haldis! Woohoo!

"For my second story, well, I thought I would go with the whole 60's sitcom thing using My Favorite Martian. The hard part was picking a side character to use in the story. I had several that I outlined, and here's the winner. Hope y'all enjoy it." 

(No worry there!)

Let's see if you can guess who the David is in this story and what series he belongs to. :-D 

=============================================

David and The Martian


David knew the song “It’s Raining Men”. He’d even heard it a few times, but it wasn’t a song he ever thought about, or even sing along with, and yet it was the first thing that came to mind when the man fell out of nowhere practically on top of him. Luckily the fresh snow made for a relatively soft landing as he stumbled to the ground, the man a dead weight above him.
               The man was smaller and slighter than David, so David was able to shift him off easily and then he rolled up onto his knees to assess the situation. Where the hell had he come from? There were a couple of twigs in the guys hair. Maybe he fell out of a tree.
               “Hey, sir? Can you hear me?” David asked loudly as he took in the guys appearance. His skin had a sort of silver cast to it, or maybe it was just a reflection off the strange silver outfit the guy was wearing. Or maybe he was hypoxic. Was he breathing? David leaned down close to the guy’s nose and mouth as he laid a couple of fingers to the guy’s neck.
               Nothing.
               “Fuck, no”, David said. “Not on my watch.”
               Why the hell did he decide to spend his leave alone, in the middle of nowhere, instead of sharing the holidays with his family, David thought to himself as he started chest compressions, counting quickly. It was really a spur of the moment decision. After all, Paris was months ago, and it wasn’t as if they broke up. Hell, they weren’t even together, but that small moment of “what if”. And, yeah, David’s family was great. He loved his parents, he really did, but he didn’t think he could face his mother and her good-intentioned questions about his love life and offers to introduce him to the son of so and so, who worked as an accountant. He felt again for a pulse while leaning in to check for breathing.
               “Come on, Buddy,” David muttered, right as the guy opened his eyes and stared up at David. There was less than an inch separating them and the eyes looking up at him were violet, nearly purple, with silver streaks blazing out from the pupil, and …. David should probably move away.
               The guy smiled and raised up, touching his lips to David’s. David felt a hand on the back of his head, gripping his hair, holding him in place as he kissed him. Completely. Deeply. Thoroughly.
               Merry Christmas to me, thought David.
               The guy loosened his grip and leaned back down into the snow.
               “Greetings”, the guy said, his voice soft as starlight.
               “Yeah”, David agreed. He sounded funny to his own ears. Breathless, like he had run a marathon, or had the soul kissed out of him, or fallen from the sky. “Greeting” He felt himself grinning. One of the twigs in the guy’s hair shifted forward and David wanted to reach out and comb it from the…. He looked a little closer.
               “Is that….are those…. antennae?”

               “What?! No!” The guys sat up suddenly and slammed both hands down over the antennae. “Of course not! Earthlings don’t have antennae. And I am an Earthling. So, absolutely no antennae.” When he removed hands, there was no sign of the antennae in his jet-black hair.
               “Riiight”, said David, nodding his head. You’re an Earthling. And not,” he started shaking his head, “oh, say, a Martian.”
               The guy started shaking his head as well. “No, definitely not a Martian”
               David took a better look at the guy sitting in the snow with his crazy metallic jumpsuit, and his purple eyes, and his silver skin that actually had a kind of pink pearlesscence which seemed to glow that somehow he hadn’t noticed earlier.
               “This is cold,” said I’m-Definitely-An-Earthling-And-Not-A-Martian {yeah, right}, touching the snow around him.
               “It’s snow. Uh, frozen water,” David added at Not-A-Martian’s blank stare.
               “Ah, yes, of course. I have heard of this,” answered Not-A-Martian.
               “Hey, I have some friends in San Diego who have never seen snow, so….” And where were they before this whole conversation took a galactic detour? “Were you hurt? When you fell?” Out of fucking nowhere. From the sky. Ok, this whole situation started out as a galactic detour.
               Not-A-Martian seemed thrown by the change of topic. “What, uh, no? I mean, I don’t think so, but I seem to have lost my ship…No! Not a ship! An automobile. Definitely an automobile, yes, and, um, it seems to have left without me.
               David couldn’t think of a single thing to say about that last bit so he figured he would just pretend like he hadn’t heard it.
               “Do you think you can stand?” asked David, standing up and then offering a hand to help Not-A-Martian to his feet. He really needed to find out this guy’s name.
               He stepped back and looked at the smaller and definitely otherworldly man before him and decided What the heck. In for a penny and all. And this certainly had the potential to be very interesting.
               David held out his hand again to the Martian.
               “Hello. I’m David Bradley. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
               “Greetings,” said the Martian, gripping his hand and smiling up at him, violet galaxies swirling in his eyes. I am Fenrynjonstar Aeles. It is very nice to meet you, David Bradley.”
               “You can call me David.”
               “Thank you, David. You may call me Jon.”
               Jon seemed to be blushing a deeper shade of silver-pink and his antennae reappeared, peeking shyly up from his dark hair, leaning slightly towards David.
               David just about melted. Right there in the snow. This guy -Jon – was an alien, for Christ’s sake, and David was military. A very laid back, take things as the come, kinda guy in the military, but guys in the military did not find aliens absolutely and utterly adorable.  Unless it was in a sitcom, and …. Ok, maybe he was in a sitcom. It was really starting to feel like one.
               “So, since your, uh, automobile seems to have abandoned you, you’re welcome to come back to my cabin. I’ve rented it for Christmas. And I’m by myself this year. But I have all the fixings, you know, turkey and pie and potatoes…” shut up, David, you’re rambling. “Eggnog. I also have eggnog. And a tree. I still need to decorate that. You could help. If you want to, that is.” David slammed his mouth shut to prevent any more crazy form pouring out.

               “Christmas!” Jon smiled. “I’ve also heard of Christmas! It sounds so bright and giving, with colored lights and sleigh bells, and elves, I think, and reindeer that fly! And snow, and trees, with tiny…. You said you had a tree, and potatoes, and eggnog… I don’t know eggnog, but if you have one, I am sure it will be wonderful, and….and,,,” Jon had turned a rather hot shade of pink pearl. Apparently, Martians could also master the fine art rambling. He lowered his head, his violet eyes peaking out under black lashes as he looked shyly up at David. “Thank you, David. I would love to join you for Christmas.”
               “Uh, great! That’s great. That’s….this way. My cabin is this way” David turned back down the trail he had taken before a Martian had fallen from the sky.
               “So,’ David asked over his shoulder as he led the way through the snow. “You don’t happen to have someone special waiting for you back wherever it is you’re from, or, you know, you’re not pining for your partner, or anything like that.
               “No, David,” answered Jon. He was blushing again, “There’s no one.” He gave David a brilliant smile. “At home, anyway.”
               “Good,” said David. “I mean, me neither. I mean,” David stopped and turned to face Jon. “I mean, I hope that I can show you a very Merry Christmas.”
               “Thank you, David.”
               David grinned at Jon before turning back towards his cozy rented cottage and a Christmas that was starting to look a whole lot brighter, even if it was a bit out of this world.
               Hallelujah.
              

Christmas Coda 56

Tim and Luke from The Parting Glass
“Oh shit,” I said. “It’s champagne.”
Luke looked horror-stricken. “What?” He took the fragile, fluted glass of golden bubbles from me. Sniffed. Tasted. Went white and then red.
“That isn’t funny!” Luke stared around the crowded room—we were at a party at his partner Rod’s house—looking ready to punch someone. “How fucking dare—”
Nobody would fucking dare. Nobody was paying us a bit of attention. Everyone was laughing and talking and, yes, drinking. A lot of drinking at cop parties. Supposedly one out of every four cops on the street had some kind of alcohol or drug abuse issue. Not that I judge. I am the last person in position to judge.
The flavor of the bubbles still snapped and stung against my tongue. I could practically taste the rainbow. Hello darkness, my old friend…
 “It’s okay,” I said quickly. “Just get me something else. Get me a ginger ale.” Asking for sparkling cider from a half-looped vice cop wearing a Santa hat had probably been a bad idea anyway. I should have stuck to my usual tonic water with a twist of lime, but sparkling cider had seemed more festive.
Luke’s gaze shot back to mine, searching, afraid, remorseful. “I should have tasted it first.”
I laughed. “Come on. Seriously? I don’t need a poison taster. I’m not going to fall off the wagon because I have a sip of champagne.”
If anything, he looked more aghast, and listening to the echo of my words, I got it. Because shades of the old days. The bad old days when I’d insist I could still have a drink and be okay. That wasn’t what I meant. I had been sober five years. I knew better than anyone I couldn’t have a drink and still be okay. Or at least, I couldn’t choose to drink and still be okay.
But this…this involuntary ingesting of alcohol, that was a completely different thing.
“I mean,” I said quickly, “It isn’t just about the alcohol. In fact, the booze is the least of it.” Which is ironic, but true.
“Right,” Luke said equally quickly. “I know. Of course.”
And he did, but…
Once I would have been hurt by his fear, but learning to forgive myself had made me gentler with others. And there was no one I wanted to be gentler with than Luke who now looked guilty and apologetic as though he’d let me down with that flash of instinctive alarm.
He hadn’t. Because truth? My tongue still tingled from that sudden, unexpected taste of forbidden fruit. For one dizzying moment it was as though that slightly dinged silver disco ball overhead had fallen to the shag carpet, split open, and spilled out cartoon butterflies and flowers, fireworks exploding glitter-hearts and rainbows and twinkling stars—thrilling and sickening at the same time. Like Alice stumbling through the Looking Glass, martini glass in hand. 


Man, I still missed drinking.
And, man, I’d happily do without it for the rest of my life.
Happily avoid doing anything that made Luke look so worried—worried and angry. He was back to glaring around the crowd, waiting for some joker to burst out laughing and admit to spiking my drink. That wasn’t going to happen because that wasn’t what had happened.
But cops are not trusting people. When you see the worst of people, day in and day out, you start to expect the worst from everyone.
I put my hand on his arm. Luke’s hazel eyes jerked back to mine, instantly alert, instantly attuned to whatever I needed.
“Hey. It’s okay,” I insisted. “It was an accident. Nobody’s—” I broke off as a blonde girl in a dress about the size of an elf’s uniform, stumbled against me.
“Sorry!” she said, and glared at the guy who had knocked into her. He didn’t even notice, red-faced and laughing so hard he was nearly doubled over. The elf and I exchanged grimaces.
I edged toward Luke, who nodded at the girl, and frowned down at the champagne flute as though he still found it suspicious but couldn’t figure out how to charge it. He met my eyes. “Ginger ale, you said?”
I took a breath. “Or we could just…split?”
I was afraid he might be disappointed, but no. He brightened. “Right? You think so too? Because we did the thing.”
“We did the thing,” I agreed. Put in an appearance, supported Rod’s efforts to impress Cara, his new girlfriend, had displayed a judicious amount of holly jolly as befitted the season.
But if I had to listen to “All I Want for Christmas is You” one more time maybe I would start drinking.
“You wouldn’t mind?” Luke added, and I got that he was making the point that he didn’t think he needed to drag me out of there because liquor had touched my lips; doing his best to erase my memory of his initial reaction, that flare of clear and present panic.
“Not at all.” I smiled because I appreciated that show of confidence—and because I understood and sympathized with his initial fright. We had only been together—really together—for three years, but I felt sometimes like I’d known Luke my entire life.
Anyway, we both liked parties well enough, but what we really liked, what we really wanted—what we really needed—was a little home alone time. I’d been away in Tuscany for the past eight days, so the last thing I’d felt like was going out, let alone attending a Christmas party peopled solely by members of LAPD and their plus-ones, but when you marry a cop, you marry his partner.
“You grab our coats, I’ll say goodnight to Rod,” Luke said.
* * * * *

When I came out of the pool, Luke was waiting with my robe—hot out of the tumble dry cycle, and I shivered into it, chattering out, “It’s colder than I thought.”
The water had been a delightful 89 degrees, but the night air? Frigid. 

“It’s fifty-nine tonight, you nut.” He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. “You’re going to have pneumonia for Christmas.”
“N-n-nah. I’m p-p-part s-s-snowman, r-r-remember?” I kissed him back. His mouth was cold and tasted like cocoa. Funny to think there had been a time I had not liked the taste of cocoa unless it had peppermint Schnapps or raspberry vodka added to it. Now cocoa was part of our wintertime routine and I loved it to the last drop.
“S-s-so many s-s-stars tonight!” It was the truth; the night sky was glittering—almost crackling—with flecks of diamond dust. I’d seen two shooting stars while I’d been swimming. Good omens, if you believed in such things.
I believed in such things.
“Fireplace or fire pit?” Luke asked.
“F-f-fireplace.”
He laughed, keeping his arm around me. “Come on, Frosty.”
After I’d showered and we were settled before the fireplace in the den, drinking our cocoa, I said, “You don’t have to worry about tonight. I’m okay.”
He said at once, so I knew I was right in thinking it was still on his mind. “I know. I know that. It wasn’t about you, Tim—”
But, of course, it was. It was all about me and the number of times I’d let him down—let us both down before I’d found my way out of that dark, dark wood. Found the way out for both of us because when you love someone, you’re trapped with them.
“And you really don’t have to apologize.” I smiled at him. “Were you worried the whole time I was gone?”
Tuscany was the first trip overseas I’d made on my own since getting sober. We’d traveled a couple of times together—our honeymoon in Ireland had been the last time. At first, I hadn’t trusted…well, I won’t say myself, because I did trust myself in the ordinary course of things, but I didn’t trust the universe not to throw something at me I wasn’t prepared for. Alcoholics and boy scouts prefer to be prepared.
So I wasn’t at all surprised that Luke hesitated, smiled ruefully. “I was worried, yes, but not because I thought you couldn’t resist the famed Tuscan wine. Your sense of direction is so shitty, and things have a way of happening to you. That’s what worried me.”
I laughed because both were true. “Yet here I am, safe and sound. And sober.”
“Yes.” He kissed me softly and then less softly. “Bed?” he gasped out, the third time our lips met.
“I thought you’d never…”
But as I started to push up from the sofa, he caught my arm, tumbling me back against him. He said with sudden urgency, “Tim?”
“What’s up?”
He looked so serious, so earnest. “I've got to say it." 
I said warily, "Okay. Say it."
"When we got together again, I really thought I couldn’t love you more than I already did. I just couldn’t imagine—but every day, every year I love you more. And that’s why if I seemed to-to freak out—I didn’t think it was even possible to be this happy with someone. And it's all so fragile. It can all change in an instant. There are no guarantees. That's all. It's not about trusting you or faith in you or confidence in you. It's about knowing only too well how lucky I am.”
It’s not an Irish folk song, but it might as well be: When you’ve got nothing, you’ve got nothing to lose.  We both had everything to lose. Everyone had everything to lose, because nothing lasts forever.
“It’s the same for me,” I said.
His gaze—the warm color of the firelight--searched mine. 
I said, “Life is unpredictable. Nobody knows better than us. A lot of things aren’t in our control, but this one thing—this is. I’m not saying I stay sober for you because that’s not true. I stay sober because I want to be present and accounted for in my life. But the best thing about that life? You. And I wouldn’t risk what we have together for all the tea in China--or all the whiskey in Ireland.”
I would have been too corny to say what I was thinking, but it was the truth: even when my glass was empty, my cup was full.
The star atop the tree was still shining when we went down the hall to bed.

Advent Calendar - Day 16

I've been playing around with cocktail recipes (I know! But it's the holidays and it's MY JOB) :-D

I couldn't find the exact recipe I was hoping for, so I made this one up. It's my variation on a White Christmas martini. I call it... Christmas Magic. :-D

Like the Gingerbread Martini, this one is probably best as dessert or as a little festive something to kick off the evening before you leave for your party--with a designated driver behind the wheel! Right?

(If you drink them all night, I can guarantee you will feel like a chunk of coal the next morning.)


INGREDIENTS
2 ounces cake vodka
1 ounce white chocolate liqueur
1 ounce white creme de cacao
1 ounce Frangelico
1 ounce heavy cream OR (my preference) a scoop of Talenti's Madagascar Vanilla gelato
Edible silver pearl dust (just a pinch!)
DO NOT FORGET THE EDIBLE PEARL DUST, THAT'S THE MAGIC PART.
Honey and sparkling sugar for rim garnish

INSTRUCTIONS
Pour a dab of honey into a shallow dish and put the sparkling sugar in another shallow dish. Roll the rim of the glass in the honey and then roll the rim of the glass in the sugar to coat evenly. Set the glass aside.

In a cocktail shaker filled with ice, add the vodka, white chocolate liqueur, creme de cacao, Frangelico and gelato. Shake vigorously and strain into the prepared martini glass. Add a pinch of pearl dust.

Advent Calendar- Day 15

Teaser by Johanna OllilaWow! Here we are on the 15th day of the month. December is half over and the year is nearly gone.

Today we're going to bring back one of our--okay, one of MY--favorite Advent Calendar activities, and that's picking quotes from my books that I can use as teasers.

So maybe this is more a gift to me than to you. :-D It's always so interesting though to see what lines really resonate with readers. Sometimes it's a line I love too and sometimes it's a line I never thought much about. But either they give me something to hang a bit of promo on! I love making teasers, I love matching art to words.

So today's "game" if you will, is to share some of your favorite lines from your favorite JL stories. You can pick any story you like, but if you're looking for inspiration, I don't have any teasers from the first two All's Fair books, or from Strange Fortune or The Darkling Thrush or most of the short stories or the novellas. There's a lot of un-mined teaser territory to choose from.

And the giveaway today are three mugs--they're nice! they're not plastic!--with the Bedknobs and Broomsticks "logo." The winners will be randomly chosen from your submission/comments below.




 I'll leave this one open for a bit so that everyone who wants to has time to participate!

Advent Calendar - Day 14

Something special here. This audio version of the coda or bonus scene for The Monuments Men Murders was created for my Patreon group, but hey, it's Christmas! (Plus some kind of crucial stuff happens here.)

So I'm sharing it with YOU this morning. ;-)

The wonderful Kale Williams, who narrates the series, recorded the coda. Click here to listen and enjoy! 

Advent Calendar - Day 13

Good morning! This morning's selection was suggested by reader-friend Antonella (you know her well if you're in my Goodreads group!)



Aretha Franklin performing "O Tannenbaum." Enjoy!