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Sewing and quilting, tending and befriending

For centuries, women have pieced quilts and finished them together to tend and befriend. Having just returned from visiting a family member who quilts, I loved seeing her work. So today, I’d like to reflect on what quilting means to the women who create these beautiful textiles and to their fellow stitchers. Along the way, I’ll show you some examples of the quilts in my own family and that of the Anthonys.

My family’s legacy of sewing and quilting

My mother’s seven sisters made much of their own clothing and taught their daughters to sew, too. Like many of my cousins, I began by making crude dresses for my dolls and later graduated to fashioning my own clothing. When my husband and I first met and stood talking in the rain, he was intrigued to learn that I had made the raincoat I was wearing. Thanks, Mom!

As girls, my cousins Judy, Patti, and Mary Ann raised sewing to a high art form.  After losing their father at a young age, they made Barbie clothes to sell and used the money to buy their mom a new winter coat. I still have those beautiful handmade skirts, tams, and blouses for Barbie, that blonde, curvy fashionista of the sixties.

Our Grandma Markiewicz pieced a bed quilt and laprobe for each of her grandchildren. Loving these gifts of warmth that stitched together generations, I began in my teens to make a huge bedcovering from saved scraps. We then sent it to Grandma in Kansas to have all three layers stitched together.

Quilts literally cover our loved ones with warmth and protection. I took up the tradition again as our children began leaving the nest around 2000. First, when Big Thunder went off to college, I made a queen-sized one for the master bedroom. Sorely missing him, I cried and stitched away my lonesomeness.

Later I made twin-sized ones each of our children. Ladybug’s, which spent her college years on top of her dorm bed, is still in good shape. On the left image, across the top and bottom you’ll see the diamond-shaped “God’s eye” blocks. I called the printed squares (on the right) “Tree of Life.”

Big Thunder’s own quilt, made of blue jean scraps, is falling apart because he wrapped it around himself to sleep in the woods. I’m glad it kept him warm.

Judy, Patti, and Mary Ann still share quilting projects. Recently, Judy sent me this photo of an eye-catching quilt that she made for two of our other cousins who served in the military.

Quilting in the nineteenth century

Girls in the nineteenth century perfected their stitchery by doing samplers. Their early efforts at replicating alphabets and numbers prepared them to mark family tablecloths, sheets, towels and clothing for identification. In an era when almost all textiles were homemade, sewing served as an important skill.

Somehow, though, Susan B. Anthony’s sister-in-law Annie Osborn Anthony (Daniel Anthony’s wife) lacked this ability. That’s probably because, as a whaling heiress from Martha’s Vineyard, she didn’t need it. Susan discovered this fact when she first visited her brother Daniel and his bride Annie in Kansas, where Annie was expecting her first child.

After Annie fretted that she could not find a seamstress in Leavenworth capable of doing the fine stitching necessary for baby clothing, Susan taught her to sew and they made the layette together. But Susan was never one to waste a moment. Between sewing sessions, she sized up Kansas for the site of her women’s rights campaign two years later.

As a girl from a more middle-class family, Susan started off with a sampler and later became adept at quilting. Here is a replica of the “feathered star” block that she made with her sister Hannah when the latter was engaged to be married. Quilters in Lenexa, Kansas hand-stitched this quilt as a replica of Susan and Hannah’s original.

Later, when Susan began speaking about women’s rights reform, the evils of alcoholism, and the abolition of slavery, she found her first audiences among women who quilted. It was the 1850s, and polite society still frowned on women who gave speeches to mixed company. The all-female society at quilting bees, however, provided the forum she needed to speak freely. Such gatherings also provided time for women to combine work with socializing in an era when “women’s work was never done.”

We make quilts to create family legacies commemorating important events. They warm, shelter, and honor our loved ones. In addition, making them helps us connect with others through tending and befriending.

Tending and befriending

In 2000, a group of psychologists put forth the social theory that besides fight or flight, a common response to stress is to tend and befriend. Nineteenth century quilting bees provided opportunities for women to do both. After putting the colorful, pieced top on a large frame, they gathered with several others to sew all the layers together. This offered a chance to help each other and socialize at the same time.

The psychologists who coined the term “tend and befriend,” generally associate such behaviors with women. In addition to the many talented women mentioned above, I also come from a family of men who help each other with building garages, plumbing, installing new floors, and a myriad of other household renovations. Not to mention the Habitat Houses that many have undertaken!

I see working on shared tasks as tending and befriending, no matter who’s doing it. It’s a tradition as old as the hills, and heartwarming to everyone involved.

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Deep Relationships

Deep relationships fill the heart as nothing else can. This month I’m struck with the timeliness of David Brooks’s new book, How to Know a Person. He discusses principles that I try to embody in my own life and in my Dauntless Series of books. As Brooks says, “the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood [is an important skill that every human community needs].”

The 19th century reformers I feature looked deeply at others, too. Through the women’s suffrage movement and the campaign to abolish slavery, they valued people whose lives were invisible in the current culture. The enslaved workers who formed the unseen backbone of Southern mansions were a good example. Though we have those beautiful landmarks today, the names of the people who held them together have mostly faded into obscurity.

Invisible women

So too it is with the invisible women behind famous men. Until not very long ago, we knew little of the crucial Underground Railroad work done by women like Frances Seward–work that undoubtedly inspired and prodded her famous husband to give his all as Secretary of State to end slavery.

Like Frances Seward, Annie Anthony stood behind a famous man. Daniel Anthony’s name is synonymous with the founding of Kansas. She lived in the shadow of her famous sister-in-law Susan, too. But Annie’s own significant contributions to social reform are just beginning to surface.

Don’t just look — see. Don’t just hear — listen. As Brooks says, now more than ever, when the news gives us only sound bytes, our humanity dictates that we need to go deep with other and to understand the incidents that have left marks on their souls.

In the same way, we can benefit from the experience of historical figures. Although many news articles reported what Annie, Susan and Daniel did, I’m exploring why they did things and the long-lasting ramification of how these actions affected their personal lives.

For example, Annie broke with island tradition when she wed a man from the mainland. Why? Perhaps the loss of Union soldiers among the small population of her hometown prompted her to look further from home for a potential suitor. How did this affect her when she married Daniel and moved to Kansas? Probably culture shock!

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How to diffuse light

Seal of the City of New Bedford, MA

We could aptly describe the Anthony family and their fellow reformers as individuals who “diffused light.” I first happened upon this term (“Lucem Diffundo” in Latin) as a motto for the city of New Bedford, MA.

In 1847 when New Bedford citizens selected that slogan, they had been active in spreading light both literally and metaphorically. Most of them were Quakers, whose aim was to spread Divine Light around them.  They earned their living collecting whale oil to fuel the young nation and its lighthouses from their perch on the mainland facing the Atlantic. This vantage point also made their city a perfect place to take part in the Underground Railroad that served as a beacon to people seeking freedom from slavery.

Photo of New Bedford by Jeanne Gehret

The Anthonys, who diffused light

On February 15 we will again celebrate the birthday of Susan B. Anthony, who diffused light. As I’ve written elsewhere, all her family members were somehow involved in promoting the abolition of slavery and/or the unshackling of women from a patriarchal society. They, too, were Quakers.

Her brother Daniel, immersed in a racially mixed society, put his emphasis on African American equity while also supporting women’s rights. Susan chose to rank female equality before racial parity. In a sense they worked hand-in-hand with each other and with such greats as Frederick Douglass, Julia Seward, William Lloyd Garrison, Harriet Beecher Stowe, and many others referenced in my work.

In one way or another, they all diffused light.

If that’s the only notion you get from these pages, I’m satisfied. Even though I don’t sermonize here about ways that we can bring comfort and peace to those around us, I ponder that topic all the time. By lifting my candle to highlight the actions of these dedicated 19th-century reformers, I hope to inspire you to do similar things, wherever you are.

One of Susan’s many supporters said that she “left behind a trail of light” in the dark avenues of her era. Now, more than ever, we need light bringers. In the words of Nelson Mandela, be the change you want to see in the world as you celebrate the life of Susan B. Anthony.

A change in this website

Behind the scenes, I’ve been working to update and re-format this website. Though the formal name will eventually change to JeanneGehretAuthor.com, you will still be able to find it for a while at SusanBAnthonyFamily.com. The articles you’ve enjoyed will, I hope, be more accessible through a more searchable format.

I’m going to post only once a month in the future to allow me more time to research and finish my Dauntless Series. So be sure to open each email and post as soon as it appears.

In the meantime, create your own trail of light. We’re all counting on you.

Who are some of your favorite light-bringers (from any place and time)? Inspire us by leaving a reply in the space below.

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D.R. Anthony as an Enneagram Eight

Today we will explore the personality of D.R. Anthony as an Enneagram Eight. This finishes our series portraying three of the Anthony family through the lens of the Enneagram. Here are the previous posts:

General explanation of the nine Enneagram types



Susan B. Anthony as Type One



Anna Osborn Anthony as Type Two

I consider Daniel Read (D.R.) Anthony a Type Eight because he was strong, powerful, and fearless. He wanted justice to prevail and took the part of the underdog.

When President Lincoln needed bodyguards in the White House at the start of his first term, he sent for 116 Kansas abolitionists who were known to be fierce. Daniel Anthony was one of those 116. He had cut his abolitionist teeth as a guerilla fighter who invaded Missouri plantations and stole not only their livestock but also the people who were enslaved there.

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Lincoln bust in Henry Seward’s library




Eights like to wield authority and speak their minds 

For most of his adult life, D.R. Anthony was self-employed. That allowed him to call his own shots (bad pun!) and not have to say yes to anyone in authority.

Eights are usually direct in their communication and can be extremely blunt. They value truth and will engage in conflict if necessary.  

D.R. received numerous threats on his life because of his compulsion to speak his mind loudly and plainly. During his newspaper career in the 1870s, he went after the local Typesetters Union for publicly humiliating one of their members, James Coulter. Distraught, Coulter sought relief in his wife’s laudanum and accidentally overdosed to death.

In response to this tragedy, Anthony published names of leading papers all over the country that had successfully stopped employing Typesetters Union printers. In addition, he said that the union shops “neglect their business, refuse to work except at outrageous rates, and stop at nothing…to hinder good, honest men from earning a living for their families.”

His pride about speaking his mind is evident in this epitaph he penned for his own tombstone (below):

 

photo by Jeanne Gehret




They get a lot done

Eights are good big-picture thinkers, hard workers, and passionate advocates for people and causes they care about. They get a lot done.

D.R. was no stranger to hard work. At one point in his life, he held two elected posts as Leavenworth’s mayor and postmaster besides operating an insurance business. When he began building his newspaper empire, he bragged that his paper would be the most radical abolitionist paper in town. He had a lot of competition on the border of Missouri where pro- and antislavery sentiments ran high. He was such a passionate advocate of African-Americans that scores of Black friends attended his memorial service after his death.

Daniel Read Anthony, brother of Susan B. Anthony




Typical childhood experiences for Eights

In childhood, Enneagram Eights often report having grown up in a combative or conflict-heavy environment where they had to “grow up fast” to survive.  From the perspective of an Eight child, survival depended on denying the fact of being small or vulnerable. 

Creating an image that was bigger and more powerful than others helped them deal with a world that didn’t provide needed love, care, or protection. 

D.R. was only 14 when his family went bankrupt and all their goods put up for auction. One can only imagine the helplessness and humiliation of seeing the family’s undergarments, eyeglasses, and foodstuffs carried off by the highest bidder.

As a result of bankruptcy, he could no longer study with private tutors but had to attend the neighborhood school. Later accounts find him repeatedly defending himself in court, suggesting that, had he the opportunity to read law instead of work in his father’s store and insurance business, he would have made a fine attorney.

They have their flaws

Some flaws of being Enneagram Eights: They are good at carrying grudges, can be impatient with others’ incompetence, and have formidable tempers.

D.R. seemed to have no patience with Thomas Ewing, an early Kansas acquaintance. Ewing began his career in law, held offices in local and state politics, served as a judge, and became a Union general. The two men clashed on almost every level, with Ewing arresting and jailing D.R. Anthony at one point. (Fortunately for D.R., President Lincoln freed him.)

When Quantrill’s (Confederate) raiders massacred hundreds of men and boys in only a few hours, D.R. made a blistering newspaper attack on General Ewing for letting the raiders go.

An Enneagram Eight’s personality is motivated by the push and pull of their deepest desire warring with their deepest fear. Eights want independence and control while at the same time fearing vulnerability and powerlessness.

This inner conflict creates a recognizable vice in Eight personalities of ‘lust.’ A better term might be “passion,” which doesn’t have such a strong overtone of sexuality. Passion means an expanding, excessive, intense energy, with a “no-holds-barred” approach to life. They use their physical power and emotional intensity to retain control and avoid vulnerability. 

D.R. had left a Quaker household to go help the cause of abolition in Kansas, which was then the Wild West. He went unarmed during his earliest days in Leavenworth, and only the gun of his companion settled a dangerous situation peacefully. For the next 20 years, he was known as the quickest draw in town and prevailed in several violent episodes, as noted above.

How Eights achieve balance

When Eights balance their personal power and strength with a more conscious awareness of their own weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and impact, they can be courageous and heroic leaders, partners, and friends. 

One night, after a week of ignoring insults and threats, D.R. went to the opera without the guns that he usually carried. His wife Annie had asked him to do so. Perhaps his willingness to grant her request stemmed from his awareness of his volatile temper. Ironically, someone shot him that night and almost ended his life. This event seems to mark the end of his gunfighting days.

Eights who become aware of their excessive passions grow in the virtue of “innocence.”  This means the ability to “respond freshly to each moment, without memory, judgment or expectation.” Such Eights stop itching constantly for a fight and are more in touch with their softer side. They are calmer and less intense in their reactions.

Evidence of a calmer nature is suggested by his statement that he carried no grudge against his assailant or accomplice at the opera. His obituary said that he spent most of his leisure time with his family. Perhaps the experience of raising children evoked in him a fresh, in-the-moment awareness. Throughout his long life, he had scores of friends and supporters in addition to his many enemies.

Famous Eights:




Muhammad Ali (heavyweight boxer, opposed the Viet Nam war, advocated for African Americans)



Frank Sinatra (“I did it my way”)



Queen Latifah (leveraged her music career to fund charities benefiting children and elderly people)

Now that you’ve explored the Enneagram through these three types, how useful do you think it could be in understanding yourself and others? Have you used it? If so, what interests you about it? What type are you? What type do you think I am? Scroll down to the bottom of this post and share your comments in the space below. I read and respond to every one.

Again, many thanks to my co-author for this series, Anita Plat-Kuiken, and to the work of Bea Chestnut. For a simple, fun book on this topic, I suggest The Enneagram Made Easy by Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele.

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Christmas gifts for you

I have some Christmas gifts for you as the year winds down. So sit back and enjoy.

First of all, some of you may be interested in applying the enneagram to your own life. If so, here’s information about an online retreat to help you. You can learn a lot about the it by reading, but most people find it helpful to have some guidance on identifying their own type.

One of the sponsors, Bea Chestnut, wrote much of the material that underlies my blogposts on the enneagram. Please note that I have never taken a program with her, so I can’t vouch for this event personally.

Second, I’ve compiled a few of my cornerstone blogs on the Anthony family for your enjoyment.

Mary Anthony



Hannah Anthony



Guelma Anthony



Merritt Anthony



Susan B. Anthony and the press



Daniel Anthony’s abolitionist activities



Anna Osborn Anthony



The Anthonys’ religious diversity



Anthonys in Rochester

My final Christmas gift is an exuberant dance that I participated in when Sonnenberg Gardens held a Christmas open house. (I’m the one in purple and yellow, and my husband is my partner.) This English country dance harks back to the era before Susan and her siblings.

I hope you enjoy watching and reading. Have yourself a merry Christmas and a blessed new year.

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An American Christmas, 1863

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photo by Jeanne Gehret

During Christmas 1863, Daniel Anthony and Annie Osborn looked forward to their wedding in January. They probably weren’t able to celebrate the holiday together because at that point they still lived half a continent apart. I can picture Annie enjoying family celebrations on Martha’s Vineyard one last time while Daniel faced dinner at a boardinghouse in Kansas. How they must have longed to be together!

Christmas 1863

The U.S. was in the midst of the Civil War that year, and the nation as a whole found Christmas 1863 a poignant season. As this commentator observed: “The Civil War intensified Christmas’s appeal. Its sentimental celebration of family matched the yearnings of soldiers and those they left behind. Its message of peace and goodwill spoke to the most immediate prayers of all Americans.”

And so the sweethearts pondered the reality of war during the season of peace on earth. Annie probably prayed for her brother in the Navy while Daniel remembered comrades lost in battle.

Christmas present

Though war has not touched our country directly, we pray for those around the world in the thick of battle. We commemorate the Prince of Peace and acknowledge the solstice message that we are deeply rooted in nature. With all that in mind, I’ve been enjoying this book:

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Here in the northern hemisphere, the earth is dark and dormant. Lighting the courtyard trees cheers me, and I make evergreen arrangements to tide me over till the sun reappears.

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photo by Jeanne Gehret

This year I found my writing renewed by seeing new readers sign up to receive my posts. Because writing requires lots of solitude, bloggers like me are greatly encouraged by knowing that people are reading and by seeing their comments. Thanks for joining me here, and for sharing your thoughts with others as well.

I also found renewal through new friends at the Seward House in Auburn, which celebrates Victorian life in ways that resonate with my work on the Anthony family. The image below and the one at the top are from an evening when they spoiled their members with champagne and (better yet!) lots of chocolate.

As always, I welcome your comments (even if it’s just a hello). The best ( and simplest) way to do that is to scroll down to the bottom of each post for a box that says “Leave a reply.” That way, others can join in the conversation too.

How do you celebrate this beautiful season when Light warms the darkness?

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New Harriet Tubman statue has unusual feature

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Philadelphia has just picked the design for a new statue honoring Harriet Tubman. Perhaps you saw this news item recently. So much has been written about her extreme bravery and dedication to humankind. But seldom do we read about the fact that she backed up all her dangerous Underground Railroad activity with prayer.

Prayer and the Underground Railroad

The new statue expresses Tubman’s connection between prayer and the Underground Railroad. As she led enslaved individuals to freedom, Tubman relied on prayer to guide her decisions and ensure their safety. She would often pray for protection, divine intervention, and guidance during perilous journeys. Tubman’s deep faith reassured those she led, providing them with hope and comfort during their escape.

Faith into action

As if it were not enough to spirit away so many enslaved people to freedom, Tubman also put her faith into action long after the Civil War ended. Working closely with her own place of worship, she founded the ten-room Harriet Tubman Home for Aged and Infirm Negroes in Auburn, New York. According to Dorothy Wickenden, author of The Agitators, that is where Tubman herself died.

In an earlier post this year I mentioned three other portraits of Tubman that I’ve admired. Read about them here. That earlier post features a work by Wesley Wofford, mentioned in connection with the new Philadelphia statue.

 

 

 

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Listening with the Enneagram: Annie Osborn Anthony as Two

In my mind, Annie Osborn Anthony is Type Two, a Giver on the enneagram wheel. But please keep in mind that some of the details I mention below have been created to coordinate with my understanding of her type. Here’s why:

As a writer, I’ve had to ponder Annie more than her husband Daniel or her sister-in-law Susan B. Anthony. It’s been eleven years now that I’ve contemplated the few written clues of her life—a letter here, a news snippet there. But during that time, I’ve been gratified to find hard evidence that some of her characteristics that I originally intuited were eventually confirmed in written form.

This is the second of four enneagram studies with Anita Plat-Kuiken. Here are the previous ones:

Introduction to the enneagram



Type One: Susan B. Anthony

When you come across an *asterisk, that indicates material that will be published in future novels in my Dauntless Series. My final enneagram post will cover Daniel Read (D.R.) Anthony, who blazed through life as a Type Eight.

Annie Osborn Anthony as Type Two

People with this enneagram type are caring, helpful, generous, sensitive to others’ feelings, supportive and people-oriented. While they excel at making connections and empathizing with the desires and feelings of others, they find it difficult to focus on their own needs. Women are more likely to be Type Twos, with the type making up 15% of women as compared to only 7% of men.

Annie’s helpful nature began to show itself in her teenage years on Martha’s Vineyard, where she helped a freedom seeker escape from his slave master. As a more mature woman in Leavenworth, she took responsibility for providing basic needs to the impoverished in a particular segment of the city. She mothered five children and served as an essential healthcare provider for Daniel. And as she got to know Susan more, Annie supported the suffrage movement in a big way – she held an open house with two thousand attendees!

A childhood wound in Type Twos

As children, Twos often appear as overly sensitive. As a result, they tend to hide sadness and disappointment to be accepted and cared for.

Annie’s mother died when she was ten and her father soon remarried. She may have had to temper her sadness about her loss and appear happy for her father and stepmother.

Type Two’s need for appreciation

The need for appreciation and love looms large for Twos. They’re the ones you want to plan your milestone birthday bash or bring you dinner when you’re sick. However, they may fall into a funk when the person they’ve been helping no longer needs them. As parents, Twos often feel this way when children leave the nest. As spouses, they may experience this when their ill partner recovers or passes away, leaving a huge void in their own life. When they don’t receive a steady stream of thanks and appreciation, they feel like nobodies.

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In *Book Two of my series, Annie greets her husband with sympathy the morning after he loses an election. She is stunned when he brushes her off and moves to his Plan B. He hasn’t asked for her help, nor does he need it!

Annie suffered even more disappointment after caring for Daniel during his three-month convalescence from a severe gunshot wound*.  Because he needed hands-on care around the clock, she not only gave him her personal attention but also coordinated a team of other caregivers. During her many hours of putting compression on his wound, he came to rely on her compassion and gentleness above everyone else’s. For a time, she truly was indispensable to him. So focused was she on his recovery that she put aside everything and everyone else in her life.

After his recovery, Daniel bounded back into his active life, defying expectations and (some might say) common sense. He no longer needed care 24/7. At this point, Annie took some desperate measures that show her extreme level of stress. (Sorry for being vague, but telling you more would spoil the story.)

 

Balancing act for Type Twos

Type Twos find balance when they recognize their tendency to get over-involved with others and take as much care of themselves as they do of others. Their mantra could be, “I am human, I can say no, I can ask for help, I can give and expect nothing in return, I am loved even when not needed, and I owe it to others to admit that I have needs of my own.”

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Music restored Annie’s stability. We know that her childhood home on Martha’s Vineyard had one of the first pianos on the island, which gave her a lifelong hobby to fall back on. We know from Leavenworth newspapers that she was a respected commentator on music and opera. She sang at funerals, soirees, and public fundraising activities.

A famous Type Two giver

Mother Teresa is a good example of enneagram Type Two. Responding to a strong call from God, she nursed the poor and disfigured, often easing them into a dignified death. Despite her drive to do this work, her diary records extreme bouts of depression and feelings of worthlessness. She achieved balance by meeting with a spiritual director and spending daily prayer in communion with the Divine.

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Susan B Anthony’s best friend Elizabeth

Susan B. Anthony’s best friend was Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Born November 12, 1815, Stanton was Anthony’s opposite in many ways. However, their bond of common reforms – temperance, antislavery, and women’s rights – held them together even when their differences might have torn them apart.

Early years of their friendship

They met around 1853. In their early years, when Stanton was birthing and raising seven children, they spent a good deal of time at Stanton’s Seneca Falls, NY home, about 50 miles from Susan’s residence in Rochester. When Susan arrived, she took turns rocking cradles and making puddings while Stanton wrote; then Susan edited and arranged for Stanton’s articles or traveled to give the speeches herself.

Susan visited Seneca Falls so often that the Stanton children began to call her “Aunt Susan.” Elizabeth’s husband Henry summed up their friendship well when he said to his wife, “You stir up Susan, and she stirs up the world.”

Elizabeth described their collaboration this way: “In thought and sympathy we were one, and in the division of labor we exactly complemented each other. . . While she is slow and analytical in composition, I am rapid and synthetic. I am the better writer, she the better critic. She supplied the facts and statistics, I the philosophy and rhetoric, and together we made arguments which have stood unshaken by the storms of nearly fifty long years.”

Later, when Stanton’s children had fledged, she joined Anthony on the lecture circuit. A newspaper reporter described Stanton as smiling, serene, and motherly. Anthony, on the other hand, appeared as “anxious, earnest, . . . sarcastic, funny, and unconventional.” 340

Anthony’s anxiety probably stemmed from ther role as organizer of their mutual reform movements. “When Mrs. Stanton and she reached a place where a meeting was to be held, the former would go at once to bed, while the latter rushed to the newspaper office . . . then to the hall to see that all was in readiniess, and usually conducted the afternoon session alone. In the evening Mrs. Stanton would appear, rested and radiant, . . . while Miss Anthony, …would make a few improptu remarks.” 273

Stanton teased about their respective temperaments at Anthony’s 50th birthday celebration. On that occasion she said, “She has kept me on the war-path at the point of the bayonet so long that I have often wished that [Susan] might, like Elijah, be translated a few years before I was summoned, that I might spend the sunset of my life in some quiet chimney-corner.” 667

Serious difference of opinion




Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B Anthony reading document, Library of Congress

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Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B Anthony reading document, Library of Congress


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Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B Anthony reading document, Library of Congress

They had a serious difference of opinion, however, over their most daring writing project. From 1868 to 1870, they co-published The Revolution, a radical newspaper devoted to women’s rights. Despite their best efforts it went bankrupt. The result? A $10,000 debt, enough to buy three nine-room homes in that era.  

To Susan’s dismay, Stanton announced that she could not take any responsibility to repay the money. She needed to provide for her daughters’ college educations.

As a result, Susan felt honor-bound to settle the debt herself (as any Type One individual would be). Did she resent Stanton’s default on the Revolution during the next six years on the lecture circuit? She did not say, but rejoiced when the monies were finally repaid. Fortunately, the rift healed enough to work together with Matilda Joslyn Gage to write The History of Woman Suffrage.

Susan too crushed to speak

In poor health, Elizabeth Cady Stanton died in 1902 (four years before Susan). On this occasion, Susan at first was too crushed to speak. “If I had died first she would have found beautiful phrases to describe our friendship . . . . She said she wanted to outlive me so that she could give her tribute to the world.” 1

Eventually, Susan gathered her thoughts enough to write an eleven-page article in the North American Review, which ended with the following tribute.

“A deep feeling of regret will always prevail that the Liberator of Woman, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, could not live to see the complete triumph of her cause . . . but she died in the full knowledge that the day of its victory is clearly marked on the calendar of the near future.” (p. 1266, Harper)

The friendship of Anthony and Stanton is a recurring theme in my children’s biography Susan B. Anthony and Justice For All. If you have a young person in your life who needs to write a book report, please get it for them! It features a table of contents, glossary, and timeline to make their writing easier. Be sure to get the Centennial edition, which has been updated.

In today’s post, I’ve chosen to mine these two women’s own writings about each other to describe their friendship. You may also wish to read this more objective summary of Stanton’s life.

Page numbers in this post refer to Ida Husted Harper, Life and Work of Susan B. Anthony. Salem, NH: Ayer Company, 1983 edition.

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Listening with the Enneagram: Susan B. Anthony as Type One

The more I “listen” to my characters, the more convinced I am that Susan B. Anthony was a Type One on the enneagram. This character portrait is often called the Reformer Perfectionist. I am greatly indebted to Anita Plat-Kuiken, my co-aothor on this blogpost series, for her enneagram summaries. Anita has based her Type One descriptions on Bea Chestnut’s Complete Guide to the Enneagram. In turn, I have pulled all quotes from Susan’s authorized biography1. If you missed the series introduction last week, be sure to look back to my previous post, which briefly explains the basics of the enneagram.

At age 48, Susan B. Anthony already exhibited many characteristics of Type One.




Susan B. Anthony as Type One

In my experience of studying her since 1990, Susan B Anthony appears to be an almost perfect example of a Type One. People with this enneagram number are honest, hardworking, dependable, practical, conscientious, responsible, improvement-oriented, and self-controlled. Out of their idealism, they exert great effort to improve the world around them, often inspiring others along the way. 

Susan’s sense of responsibility showed itself many times in her role as leader. Before the Civil War, she chaired the American Antislavery Society’s lecture circuit. When many of the scheduled speakers failed to appear for their engagements, she fulfilled all those commitments herself. (137ff)

Type One’s inner critic

Ones have a strong inner critic and tend to see the world as black and white. You don’t need to tell a One if they’ve done something wrong… they already know.  They can suppress their personal needs and desires and can feel anger or guilt over their impulses or behaviors that they judge as wrong. When unaware, they can be resentful, rigid, judgmental, nonadaptable, and overly critical of themselves and others.

Susan demonstrated this inclination during her teenage years when she attended a strict Quaker academy. Schoolmistress Deborah Moulson harshly reprimanded her students for such offenses as not addressing each other as thee and thou and for being too “mirthful.” Taking these criticisms to heart, Susan felt tremendous guilt, especially one time when she rushed up the stairs to cry after receiving Miss Moulson’s tirade on improperly dotting an i. On that occasion, she wrote in her diary, “Indeed I do consider myself such a bad creature that I cannot see any who seems worse.” P. 29

Given this habit of perfectionism, then, it’s no wonder that Susan regularly took colleagues in the antislavery and women’s rights movements to task. She wanted everyone to be and do their best. When a colleague gave a stirring speech entitled “Fair Play for Women,” Susan wrote him privately scolding him for using the word man to refer to humankind. (172)

There is debate about whether people are born with their number, or acquire their number through experiences.  Most likely, it’s both a predisposition and a way of defining meaning from events beginning in childhood.  This is not to say the early experiences necessitated the particular meaning derived by the individual, but just to say the person made meaning through the enneagram lens they used. 

Childhood responsibility in Type One

With this in mind, we expect to find evidence that a One’s childhood included a call to be “adult-like” before they were ready and to give up on spontaneity and play. Not surprisingly, Susan demonstrated this characteristic when she was twelve. That year, her mother boarded a dozen brickmakers and some factory hands who were helping to build a new house and add to her father’s factory. During this time her mother was pregnant and then gave birth. Susan and her two sisters did all the work, submitting the meals and lunchpails for their mother’s inspection. (p. 19)

Type Ones are motivated by the push and pull of their deepest desire in tension with their deepest fear. The enneagram One desires integrity, accuracy, and to be right while at the same time fearing to be wrong, imperfect, or bad. This interplay creates a recognizable vice (or passion, in enneagram speak), of ‘anger’ that results from their constant level of irritation that the world isn’t as it should be. 

This tendency in herself may have been at the forefront of Susan’s mind in a letter soon after her father’s death. In a letter to her brother, she wrote:

“We are so wont to utter criticisms and to keep silence about the things we approve. I wish we might be as faithful in expressing our likes as our dislikes, and not leave our loved ones to take it for granted that their good acts are noted and appreciated and vastly outnumber those we criticize.” 242

Ones’ actions may be motivated by their hostility toward the imperfect way things are and their attempt to force things to conform to their idea of how things should be.  Their anger can also show up as resentment.  Because Ones are conscious of “good” and “bad,” this hostility and resentment toward the situation is usually directed towards themselves, not onto others, lest that appear “bad.”

Driving herself hard

As a Type One, Susan may have fought against this tendency by driving herself hard before calling others to tasks. As president of numerous suffrage associations, her role involved a constant round of asking people to give speeches, canvass for petitions, manage publicity, address mail, and a host of other responsibilities. She led by example. Here, one of her colleagues gives a tongue-in-cheek summary of her activities:

Is there work among you for Susan to do? . . . At present, she has only the Anti-Slavery cause for New York, the ‘Woman’s Rights Movement’ for the world, the Sunday evening lectures for Rochester and other lecturing of her own . . . private cares and home affairs and the various et ceteras of “womanity.” These are about all so far as appears, to occupy her seven days of twenty-four hours each . . . . Do pity and procure work for her if it be possible.” 105

Ones who wake up realize that driving self and others is not the only way of existing in the world (perhaps there are choices!). They find themselves growing in the virtue of serenity. In other words, they gain the ability to take time for pleasant experiences, spontaneity, and playfulness. They learn to embody the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer: “I can change what can be changed, accept what cannot be changed, and have wisdom to know the difference.”

Finding balance as a One

Susan achieved balance in her busy life through frequent visits with people she loved and taking time to see the sights. At her peak, she gave at least a hundred speeches a year, traveling extensively to do so. These trips often included visits to friends and family. Often, she mentioned plays and musical performances she had enjoyed. Travels in Colorado and Great Britain brought her much joy. She kept in touch with her wide circle of relatives, friends, and family, celebrating birthdays and other special occasions.

It is from within this circle of love and appreciation that she uttered her most famous words at her birthday a month before her death. Facing a theater full of beloved comrades at the National Suffrage Association, she extended her hands to them and said, “With such women consecrating their lives, failure is impossible.” 1409

Numerous sources have cited Nelson Mandela, Michelle Obama, and Martin Luther King Jr. as enneagram Type Ones. As one of the greatest champions of racial and gender equity in the United States, it seems fitting to add Susan B. Anthony to this distinguished list.

1Ida Husted Harper, Life and Work of Susan B. Anthony. Salem, NH: Ayer Company, 1983 edition.

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