Steven D. Farmer's Blog, page 2

Eagle Says: "Do the Right Thing."

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

#10 - Eagle Spirit - Do the Right Thing.

“When I do good, I feel good.  When I do bad, I feel bad.  That's my religion.” —Abraham Lincoln

“Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking.” —J.C. Watts

Throughout life you’re confronted with choices, some that are mundane and don’t require a tremendous amount of contemplation, such as what you’re having for breakfast or which shoe you put on first. However there are other times when you’re faced with a decision where you must weigh your choices based on an assessment of your values and priorities. Not always an easy task, particularly when values clash.

The values and priorities you have instilled that help you determine your choice are based on a synthesis of your familial and ancestral patterns, cultural and societal norms, and a sense of your soul’s purpose. How we make these decisions throughout our life changes, depending on our level of moral development. In early childhood choices are primarily based on a more primal, egocentric point of view, as in how I can benefit or else how I can avoid disapproval. That part shadows us to some degree throughout adulthood, but typically becomes a less prominent way to make these kinds of moral and ethical choices.

As you mature, consideration of the group and social norms is taken into greater consideration. Teenagers in particular begin to see the group as an anchor that provides cues as to how to socialize and develop relationships. The norm for the group, society, or culture becomes something that the individual chooses to participate in or develops their identity in opposition to the perceived norm. It’s all about figuring out the rules and choosing to adopt them, challenge them, or some combination of the two. Egocentricity becomes subjugated to the consensus of the group or to a particular segment of the larger society.

Although some people remain stuck in these earlier phases, everyone can still at times “default” to them, especially when you don’t have a clear set of personal ethics by which to gauge your choices. As you mature, your choices become driven more by an internal set of ethics and morality. Some of these accord with the rules and regulations of the larger society while others may not, but instead are congruent with a person’s values and priorities that have been formed over a lifetime.

In the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, Eagle spirit addressed these considerations in the admonition, “Do the right thing.” For the younger child, this will most likely mean making choices that meet with parental approval and avoid punishment. As the child matures, familial and group values will likely become more of a gauge by which to make these kinds of decisions. The older the child can also read the guidebook, where the extended message from Eagle encourages the child to think for herself as to what’s right or wrong in any given situation. The magic of these cards is that often this particular card will show up exactly when the child is faced with such a decision.

As Eagle’s message says in the guidebook:

As you’re growing up you will be faced with a lot of choices. Some of these will be fairly easy such as what you want for breakfast or what game you want to play with friends. Other choices will be a little more difficult, such as whether to take that piece of candy from a friend knowing that they had taken it from another person without their knowing it. Or another choice would be when some of the kids at school are teasing one of the new kids, and you don’t feel comfortable joining in the teasing but you feel pressure from your friends that are part of the teasing.
Let’s suppose your father has left a few dollar bills lying out on the kitchen table and he seems to have forgotten it’s there. Would you take them? What would be right thing to do in any of these situations? What’s the most important thing, that you have that piece of candy or refuse it because it was taken without permission? Would it more important to join in with your friends so they wouldn’t tease you or to stand up for the kid who was being teased? Or take the money on the table knowing your father wouldn’t really miss it or tell him that he left it there? I’m sure you would know the right thing to do.

In addition, activities are suggested that can reinforce the ideas generated by the message:

* Think of a time when you were faced with these kinds of choices and made the right choice, then write or draw a story about this time.
* When faced with a tough decision, stop and think about what the important adults would say about what choice to make.
* If you see somebody, even a friend, doing something wrong, especially if it may be harmful to themselves or to others, tell a trusted adult about it.
* Try your best to do the right thing in any situation even if it is scary or others may not like you.

Further, a section in the back of the guidebook not only gives general ideas as to how to help your child work with the cards, but also activities with which they can involve their children to reinforce the message in the card. For Eagle, here are some activities parents can encourage:

*Even if your child is afraid, encourage them to tell the truth and let you know when they see something that is wrong.
* Be clear with your child as to what your priorities are regarding moral and ethical values.
* Have conversations with them about what choices they would make in any situation where the choice is challenging.
*Have a posted list in the house that you create with the child of the top 5 or 10 rules expected of everyone living there.

In a world where so many choices are before us, we can only hope as parents to provide the best guidance possible that will help a child to learn to make these kinds of decisions from a solid internalized foundation of moral principles. For anyone so inclined, you can call on help from your spirit guides, but most especially from Eagle spirit.

“Live never to be ashamed if anything you say or do is published around the world, even if what is said is not true.” —Richard Bach

“If you have integrity, nothing else matters.  If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters.”  —Alan Simpson

Cougar Says: You Can Do It!

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children's Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

#9 - Cougar Spirit - You Can Do It!

"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."—Vincent Van Gogh

"Whether you think you can or think you can't—you are right."—Henry Ford

How many times have you faced some challenge in spite of your fear and succeeded? How many times has that fear stopped you from even attempting to accomplish a certain task or overcome obstacles to reach a particular goal? I'm sure we've all had our share of both of these, yet I've learned it's not so much the fear that stops us but, to paraphrase President Franklin D. Roosevelt, it's the fear of fear that prevents us from even trying. 

Whenever you have an idea that stretches the limits of what you think you can do or who you think you are, more than likely it will arouse some deeply buried instinctual fear that is associated with the fear of survival. Your instinctual self is designed to keep you alive by alerting you to potentially life-threatening events, yet your instinct can be conditioned such that you perceive certain events to be life threatening even though in reality they're not.

Those seemingly irrational fears are often rooted in unconscious memories of experiences where you were shamed, punished, abused, or simply had no encouragement from any significant figures in your life. Sometimes even the thought of doing certain things will activate your nervous system in an all too familiar way, making you feel anxious without having taken any action.

A good example is speaking in front of a group. In a survey done years ago people were asked what they most feared. The second thing that was most feared was death, while the first was public speaking. One conclusion is that most people would rather die than do any kind of public speaking! So even to consider doing something like this can make you break out in a cold sweat.

I know this is true from experience. I was painfully shy throughout my childhood and on into young adulthood (you can ask my older sister!). I was able to rely on my athletic abilities to achieve a modicum of confidence through high school and up to the time I finished college. Yet I knew I wanted to teach, driven by a compulsion that I now know is rooted in my soul's destiny. I applied for a teaching position at a local community college after I received my Master of Arts in Psychology, thinking I'd be capable of teaching a course in introductory psychology. When I successfully passed the interview I was shocked when they asked me to teach assertiveness training!

Though absolutely terrified of doing so, I took action by reading as much as I could and taking an assertiveness training course over the summer. That fall I taught a sixteen week course that completely fit the adage that we teach what we need to learn. I'm sure the class was valuable for the students, yet even more so it helped me with my confidence in teaching and overcoming some of my shyness, as well as learning some valuable social skills. I went on to teach a number of other classes and workshops, joined a Toastmasters group, and with each experience I gained greater and greater confidence.

There was a book published a few years ago called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I confess I didn't read the book because the title said it all, obviously referring to how you must confront your fears and go through them. This is what I've done with teaching, writing, and other experiences, and based on these, I can attest that this is what it takes to build confidence. The brilliant ad campaign for Nike was "Just Do It!" Simple as that. You can do affirmations, which can help, but it's vital that you also take action that allows you to confront your fears.

As parents, grandparents, and mentors, we can encourage our children to take these kinds of risks. One of the intentions in the Children's Spirit Animal Cards is to provide such encouragement for a number of values that these spirit animals espouse. COUGAR spirit sums it up with the words of encouragement: "You Can Do It!" Similar to in the story of the Little Engine That Could, Cougar offers these words in the guidebook based on the card's simple message:

There are times when you feel like no matter what you try to do you won't be able to do it, whether it's make something artistic, get better grades in school, or do something you have never done before. To learn and to grow you have to try new things, even if you don't think you can do well. You have to s-t-r-e-t-c-h yourself and reach a little beyond what you think you can do. That's sometimes the only way you can find out what you can do.
And it doesn't matter whether or not you succeed. If not, you can at least say you tried. If you do succeed, you build more and more confidence in yourself. One of the keys is in your thinking. If you think, "Oh, I can never do this," then you won't even try. Or if you do try, you won't put all your effort into it. Like The Little Engine that Could, just believe that you can do it and keep trying until you accomplish what you set out to do. When you tackle something that seems difficult or challenging, it will also help to ask for my help, and I will be there in spirit.

In addition, congruent with the idea of taking action, suggestions for children and for parents are offered things to do that can support this value and attitude:

For children:
* Whenever there's something hard that you're faced with, tell yourself over and over, "I can do this," and perhaps even look at yourself in the mirror while saying it as if you're talking to another person.
* Think of times in your life when you didn't think you could do something but you found out you were able to do so. Write about it in your journal.
* Make a list of all the things you have accomplished in the past year and as you do, notice how you feel.

For parents:
* Gently but firmly encourage your child to do something he is afraid to do. Support them but don't do it for them, and if they refuse, don't force it but instead let it go.
* Model this whenever you find yourself faced with a daunting task and make sure your child witnesses you doing so or tell them about it.
* Remind your child of other times when they have conquered their fears by trying something new.
* Tell a story about a time you overcame a fear as a child and how you overcame it.

So Cougar spirit's message is valuable for any of us, whether you're an adult or a child. Next time you're faced with a challenge, you have the option to heed Cougar's words and also invite this valuable spirit guide to help you with your confidence. Thank you Cougar! Thank you God!

"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot."—Eleanor Roosevelt

Kindness

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children's Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

#8 Deer Spirit-Kindness

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible" Dalai Lama

In his last interview, Aldous Huxley, a renowned humanitarian, philosopher, and prolific author, was asked what advice he would give people just starting out. After considering this for a few moments, this very wise man said with slight embarrassment, "Try to be a little kinder."
Those sentiments echo Deer spirit's message in the Children's Spirit Animal Cards: "Be Kind to Yourself and Others." Like the other 23 oracle cards in this deck, in addition to facilitating a deeper connection to Spirit and the natural world, the spirit animals represented encourage values that almost all parents would agree with and help children develop attitudes and behaviors that serve them well in getting along in the world.
As Deer spirit says in the extended message in the guidebook:

There's something called the golden rule that you may have heard of, which says, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Another way of saying this is that whatever you put out will come back to you. So if you're kind to others, people, animals, and plants, then that kindness will come back to you. If you're mean to others, then you'll find meanness comes right back at you.
Of course there will be moments when you don't feel so kindly toward others, but try to get back on track by doing something nice for someone. And don't forget to be nice to yourself. If you get angry or upset with yourself, let it go as quickly as you can, perhaps by talking to a trusted adult or a friend and getting their help. This doesn't mean you always have to be nice, but just do your best as much as you can. And don't try to be perfect—just kind!

Further, with the support of parents there are action steps children can take, such as:

•    Today do at least two nice things for someone else and see how it makes you feel.
•    Help out your sister or brother with a chore.
•    Look for opportunities to help others out, such as helping a younger child with a task or cleaning up after others.
•    Be willing to apologize to someone if you have hurt their feelings, whether or not you meant to do so.
•    Share something with another child, such as food or a toy.

One man, Bob Votruba, has taken this message quite seriously. Two years ago he embarked from Ohio with Bogart, his Boston Terrier, on a 10-year cross-country journey dubbed "The Kindness Bus Tour" to encourage Americans to perform a million acts of kindness in their lifetime (www.onemillionactsofkindness.com ). His bus is decorated with various statements and drawings pertaining to the message. 
On his website, Bob wrote, "One Million Acts Of Kindness is a goal—a goal for each person to individually perform One Million Acts Of Kindness in their life . . . It is a constant mind-set of kindness every day of your life for the next fifty-five years . . . (It's) a great way to create a safer, more caring world . . . Let's start a kindness movement in this country today to change the direction this world is headed!! You are the change that this world needs."

Perhaps, as Mr.Votruba has suggested, this coming generation will be known as the kindness generation. It's through examples like his the message from Deer spirit, and adults who model kind words and behavior that children will learn the powerful effect kindness has on others. And as Deer spirit has suggested, it will come back to you.

"The love you take is equal to the love you make." The Beatles

Cougar Says: You Can Do It!

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

#9 - Cougar Spirit - You Can Do It!

“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”—Vincent Van Gogh

“Whether you think you can or think you can't—you are right.”—Henry Ford

How many times have you faced some challenge in spite of your fear and succeeded? How many times has that fear stopped you from even attempting to accomplish a certain task or overcome obstacles to reach a particular goal? I’m sure we’ve all had our share of both of these, yet I’ve learned it’s not so much the fear that stops us but, to paraphrase President Franklin D. Roosevelt, it’s the fear of fear that prevents us from even trying. 

Whenever you have an idea that stretches the limits of what you think you can do or who you think you are, more than likely it will arouse some deeply buried instinctual fear that is associated with the fear of survival. Your instinctual self is designed to keep you alive by alerting you to potentially life-threatening events, yet your instinct can be conditioned such that you perceive certain events to be life threatening even though in reality they’re not.

Those seemingly irrational fears are often rooted in unconscious memories of experiences where you were shamed, punished, abused, or simply had no encouragement from any significant figures in your life. Sometimes even the thought of doing certain things will activate your nervous system in an all too familiar way, making you feel anxious without having taken any action.

A good example is speaking in front of a group. In a survey done years ago people were asked what they most feared. The second thing that was most feared was death, while the first was public speaking. One conclusion is that most people would rather die than do any kind of public speaking! So even to consider doing something like this can make you break out in a cold sweat.

I know this is true from experience. I was painfully shy throughout my childhood and on into young adulthood (you can ask my older sister!). I was able to rely on my athletic abilities to achieve a modicum of confidence through high school and up to the time I finished college. Yet I knew I wanted to teach, driven by a compulsion that I now know is rooted in my soul’s destiny. I applied for a teaching position at a local community college after I received my Master of Arts in Psychology, thinking I’d be capable of teaching a course in introductory psychology. When I successfully passed the interview I was shocked when they asked me to teach assertiveness training!

Though absolutely terrified of doing so, I took action by reading as much as I could and taking an assertiveness training course over the summer. That fall I taught a sixteen week course that completely fit the adage that we teach what we need to learn. I’m sure the class was valuable for the students, yet even more so it helped me with my confidence in teaching and overcoming some of my shyness, as well as learning some valuable social skills. I went on to teach a number of other classes and workshops, joined a Toastmasters group, and with each experience I gained greater and greater confidence.

There was a book published a few years ago called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I confess I didn’t read the book because the title said it all, obviously referring to how you must confront your fears and go through them. This is what I’ve done with teaching, writing, and other experiences, and based on these, I can attest that this is what it takes to build confidence. The brilliant ad campaign for Nike was “Just Do It!” Simple as that. You can do affirmations, which can help, but it’s vital that you also take action that allows you to confront your fears.

As parents, grandparents, and mentors, we can encourage our children to take these kinds of risks. One of the intentions in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards is to provide such encouragement for a number of values that these spirit animals espouse. COUGAR spirit sums it up with the words of encouragement: “You Can Do It!” Similar to in the story of the Little Engine That Could, Cougar offers these words in the guidebook based on the card’s simple message:

There are times when you feel like no matter what you try to do you won’t be able to do it, whether it’s make something artistic, get better grades in school, or do something you have never done before. To learn and to grow you have to try new things, even if you don’t think you can do well. You have to s-t-r-e-t-c-h yourself and reach a little beyond what you think you can do. That’s sometimes the only way you can find out what you can do.
And it doesn’t matter whether or not you succeed. If not, you can at least say you tried. If you do succeed, you build more and more confidence in yourself. One of the keys is in your thinking. If you think, “Oh, I can never do this,” then you won’t even try. Or if you do try, you won’t put all your effort into it. Like The Little Engine that Could, just believe that you can do it and keep trying until you accomplish what you set out to do. When you tackle something that seems difficult or challenging, it will also help to ask for my help, and I will be there in spirit.

In addition, congruent with the idea of taking action, suggestions for children and for parents are offered things to do that can support this value and attitude:

For children:
* Whenever there’s something hard that you’re faced with, tell yourself over and over, “I can do this,” and perhaps even look at yourself in the mirror while saying it as if you’re talking to another person.
* Think of times in your life when you didn’t think you could do something but you found out you were able to do so. Write about it in your journal.
* Make a list of all the things you have accomplished in the past year and as you do, notice how you feel.

For parents:
* Gently but firmly encourage your child to do something he is afraid to do. Support them but don’t do it for them, and if they refuse, don’t force it but instead let it go.
* Model this whenever you find yourself faced with a daunting task and make sure your child witnesses you doing so or tell them about it.
* Remind your child of other times when they have conquered their fears by trying something new.
* Tell a story about a time you overcame a fear as a child and how you overcame it.

So Cougar spirit’s message is valuable for any of us, whether you’re an adult or a child. Next time you’re faced with a challenge, you have the option to heed Cougar’s words and also invite this valuable spirit guide to help you with your confidence. Thank you Cougar! Thank you God!

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.”—Eleanor Roosevelt

Kindness

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

#8 Deer Spirit-Kindness

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible” Dalai Lama

In his last interview, Aldous Huxley, a renowned humanitarian, philosopher, and prolific author, was asked what advice he would give people just starting out. After considering this for a few moments, this very wise man said with slight embarrassment, “Try to be a little kinder.”
Those sentiments echo Deer spirit’s message in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards: “Be Kind to Yourself and Others.” Like the other 23 oracle cards in this deck, in addition to facilitating a deeper connection to Spirit and the natural world, the spirit animals represented encourage values that almost all parents would agree with and help children develop attitudes and behaviors that serve them well in getting along in the world.
As Deer spirit says in the extended message in the guidebook:

There’s something called the golden rule that you may have heard of, which says, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. Another way of saying this is that whatever you put out will come back to you. So if you’re kind to others, people, animals, and plants, then that kindness will come back to you. If you’re mean to others, then you’ll find meanness comes right back at you.
Of course there will be moments when you don’t feel so kindly toward others, but try to get back on track by doing something nice for someone. And don’t forget to be nice to yourself. If you get angry or upset with yourself, let it go as quickly as you can, perhaps by talking to a trusted adult or a friend and getting their help. This doesn’t mean you always have to be nice, but just do your best as much as you can. And don’t try to be perfect—just kind!

Further, with the support of parents there are action steps children can take, such as:

•    Today do at least two nice things for someone else and see how it makes you feel.
•    Help out your sister or brother with a chore.
•    Look for opportunities to help others out, such as helping a younger child with a task or cleaning up after others.
•    Be willing to apologize to someone if you have hurt their feelings, whether or not you meant to do so.
•    Share something with another child, such as food or a toy.

One man, Bob Votruba, has taken this message quite seriously. Two years ago he embarked from Ohio with Bogart, his Boston Terrier, on a 10-year cross-country journey dubbed “The Kindness Bus Tour” to encourage Americans to perform a million acts of kindness in their lifetime (www.onemillionactsofkindness.com ). His bus is decorated with various statements and drawings pertaining to the message. 
On his website, Bob wrote, “One Million Acts Of Kindness is a goal—a goal for each person to individually perform One Million Acts Of Kindness in their life . . . It is a constant mind-set of kindness every day of your life for the next fifty-five years . . . (It’s) a great way to create a safer, more caring world . . . Let’s start a kindness movement in this country today to change the direction this world is headed!! You are the change that this world needs.”

Perhaps, as Mr.Votruba has suggested, this coming generation will be known as the kindness generation. It’s through examples like his the message from Deer spirit, and adults who model kind words and behavior that children will learn the powerful effect kindness has on others. And as Deer spirit has suggested, it will come back to you.

“The love you take is equal to the love you make.” The Beatles

Buffalo Spirit and Gratitude

#7 Buffalo Spirit And Gratitude

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children's Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice." Meister Eckhart

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." William Arthur Ward

I recall years ago listening to a speaker talk about his relationship with his children. One thing he said that stood out was, "More than listening to what I say, they watch what I do!" Amongst all the other possibilities for modeling behavior and encouraging children, one that stands out is expressing gratitude as often as possible. Those two simple words—thank you—can become a healthy habit for parents and children, encouraging both to look at the proverbial glass as half full rather than half empty. Buffalo spirit in the Children's Spirit Animal Cards says it all: "Be thankful for what you have."

Why is Buffalo spirit associated with gratitude and thankfulness? Typically an animal spirit's "medicine" is derived from their characteristics and the message is a metaphor for the gift from the spirit animal. In the case of Buffalo, it's gratitude. Since buffalo was the animal that was the most plentiful for the Native Americans who lived on the plains, it provided a great deal of resources for the Native Americans, food being only one. The hide was used for covering in cold weather, the skin for shelter and drums, and sinew for sewing, to name but a few examples. Every part of the animal was used and nothing was wasted. Buffalo were treated as sacred for that very reason. Great Spirit provided such an abundance of this particular animal that it gave the two-leggeds cause to be thankful.

It's for these reasons that in the children's cards Buffalo spirit's message is "Be thankful for all you have" as a means of supporting gratitude as a consistent attitude. Here's Buffalo spirit's message in the expanded reading in the guidebook:

I'm sure there are times you find yourself wishing you had more toys, games, or the latest electronic gadgets, feeling bad because you see what the other kids have that you don't. You might even complain about not having those things, feeling sorry for yourself that somebody has more things than you do. The more you think that way—that you don't have enough—the more you will feel sad and grumpy and overlook all the things that you do have. Instead, for the next few days, notice all the things you have in your life that you can feel grateful for. Be thankful for the food you eat, the people that love and care for you, the books and toys you have. Be thankful for your friends, the place you live, for the trees, plants, and animals. Be thankful for how well your body works, how it keeps you alive, how it heals itself. All that you have in your life is ultimately a gift from God, so show your appreciation and gratitude by saying "thank you" as much as possible. See how much better you feel when you do.

This is a message not only for children but also for us as parents and grandparents to keep in mind, particularly since children watch how we act.

And to follow up on this, these are some activities suggested for children:

ACTIVITY

* Make it a point today to say thank you as much as you can for anything that someone does for you. Especially thank your parents for things they do for you.
* At the dinner table, invite everyone to say at least three things for which they are grateful about today.
* Write out a "gratitude list" which can be part of your journal and add at least one or two items each day.
* Throughout the day take a minute every so often, pause, breathe, and think about the things you appreciate.

One of the unique features of the Children's Spirit Animal Cards is the section for parents, which gives guidelines for working with their children. In addition, for each spirit animal there are suggestions for parents to help encourage the spirit animal's guidance. For Buffalo, here's some ideas for parents.

* At the dinner table as you begin eating, have each person, including yourself, states three things for which they are grateful. These can be things that happened that day or anything else.
* Show them how to do a gratitude journal where each day they think of things that day that made them feel happy and thankful.
* Organize a give away where the child or children gather some of their toys that they are willing to give to another child less fortunate.
* Encourage them to write their own thank you notes instead of doing it for them.

Another idea would be to make it a game by setting a goal of a certain number of "thanks" each day, no matter how small the favor or gift. And no matter your circumstances, thank God for the blessings in your life every day.

Thank you Buffalo spirit! Thank you God!

Buffalo Spirit and Gratitude

#7 Buffalo Spirit And Gratitude

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice.” Meister Eckhart

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” William Arthur Ward

I recall years ago listening to a speaker talk about his relationship with his children. One thing he said that stood out was, “More than listening to what I say, they watch what I do!” Amongst all the other possibilities for modeling behavior and encouraging children, one that stands out is expressing gratitude as often as possible. Those two simple words—thank you—can become a healthy habit for parents and children, encouraging both to look at the proverbial glass as half full rather than half empty. Buffalo spirit in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards says it all: “Be thankful for what you have.”

Why is Buffalo spirit associated with gratitude and thankfulness? Typically an animal spirit’s “medicine” is derived from their characteristics and the message is a metaphor for the gift from the spirit animal. In the case of Buffalo, it’s gratitude. Since buffalo was the animal that was the most plentiful for the Native Americans who lived on the plains, it provided a great deal of resources for the Native Americans, food being only one. The hide was used for covering in cold weather, the skin for shelter and drums, and sinew for sewing, to name but a few examples. Every part of the animal was used and nothing was wasted. Buffalo were treated as sacred for that very reason. Great Spirit provided such an abundance of this particular animal that it gave the two-leggeds cause to be thankful.

It’s for these reasons that in the children’s cards Buffalo spirit’s message is “Be thankful for all you have” as a means of supporting gratitude as a consistent attitude. Here’s Buffalo spirit’s message in the expanded reading in the guidebook:

I’m sure there are times you find yourself wishing you had more toys, games, or the latest electronic gadgets, feeling bad because you see what the other kids have that you don’t. You might even complain about not having those things, feeling sorry for yourself that somebody has more things than you do. The more you think that way—that you don’t have enough—the more you will feel sad and grumpy and overlook all the things that you do have. Instead, for the next few days, notice all the things you have in your life that you can feel grateful for. Be thankful for the food you eat, the people that love and care for you, the books and toys you have. Be thankful for your friends, the place you live, for the trees, plants, and animals. Be thankful for how well your body works, how it keeps you alive, how it heals itself. All that you have in your life is ultimately a gift from God, so show your appreciation and gratitude by saying “thank you” as much as possible. See how much better you feel when you do.

This is a message not only for children but also for us as parents and grandparents to keep in mind, particularly since children watch how we act.

And to follow up on this, these are some activities suggested for children:

ACTIVITY

* Make it a point today to say thank you as much as you can for anything that someone does for you. Especially thank your parents for things they do for you.
* At the dinner table, invite everyone to say at least three things for which they are grateful about today.
* Write out a “gratitude list” which can be part of your journal and add at least one or two items each day.
* Throughout the day take a minute every so often, pause, breathe, and think about the things you appreciate.

One of the unique features of the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards is the section for parents, which gives guidelines for working with their children. In addition, for each spirit animal there are suggestions for parents to help encourage the spirit animal’s guidance. For Buffalo, here’s some ideas for parents.

* At the dinner table as you begin eating, have each person, including yourself, states three things for which they are grateful. These can be things that happened that day or anything else.
* Show them how to do a gratitude journal where each day they think of things that day that made them feel happy and thankful.
* Organize a give away where the child or children gather some of their toys that they are willing to give to another child less fortunate.
* Encourage them to write their own thank you notes instead of doing it for them.

Another idea would be to make it a game by setting a goal of a certain number of “thanks” each day, no matter how small the favor or gift. And no matter your circumstances, thank God for the blessings in your life every day.

Thank you Buffalo spirit! Thank you God!

Children, Imagination and Unicorns

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children's Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

#6 Children, Imagination and Unicorns

"Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere."        —Albert Einstein

With the creation and release of the Children's Spirit Animal Cards a whole new vista for my work opened up, offering workshops for children and parents. So to introduce these cards I've so far taught two workshops on the theme with more scheduled. My wife Jessica joins me for some of these when she can. She's the mother of two girls, Serena, eight, and Arianna, six, and is a conscientious mother who is currently writing a book on conscious parenting.

I recently completed an hour and a half workshop on the cards. It was a group of five adults and five children ranging in ages from five to thirteen—the children that is. I'm sure they all felt very supported and encouraged that their parent or grandparent was there with them.

There was healing, magic, and some powerful synchronicities. A ten year old boy we'll call James, who had shared with the group his love for horses shuffles his deck and randomly pulls HORSE from the deck. Later on in the class he further shuffled the cards, had his mother select a card. She also pulled Horse. The message on the card from HORSE spirit said, "Trust your feelings." Both mother and son agreed that it was a message they needed to hear.

Then there was the thirteen year old girl we'll call Rebecca, who came with her friend and her friend's mother. I watched in this workshop and in two subsequent workshops they attended how a spark of light gradually emerged from the expressionless look on her face, an adaptation that betrayed a likely history of childhood trauma. I have no doubt that this workshop and the others provided a strong ray of hope for her healing.

Then there was the little five year old, bright, blue-eyed, blond little girl we'll call Sara, who came with her grandmother. She had a quiet demeanor and gentleness about her, completely present the entire class, listening intently with a very slight smile on her face the whole time. Sara looked like a very happy child.

I asked the group a few minutes into the evening what their favorite animal was. Most everyone, adult and child, shared theirs. Then Sara said something in a very quiet voice I couldn't understand. I asked her twice to repeat herself, but it still wasn't clear. Then Grandma translated. "Unicorn," she said. "She's been holding the UNICORN card since we started!"

I looked down to her hand and sure enough, there it was. This mythical creature that exists so strongly in our collective consciousness, conveying to us the message, "Use your imagination," printed boldly across the bottom of the card. This little five year old girl knew the truth of that innately. The presence of an image of a unicorn on the UNICORN card gave her continued reassurance of that truth.

By saying that unicorns are mythical creatures is not saying they aren't real. It's a different reality in which unicorns exist, one in which our individual consciousness is intimately connected to the consciousness of our collective human species. Shared cultural and universal myths and stories abound in our collective consciousness. Imagination is the key to tapping into these myths and stories as well as perceiving the non-visible world of Spirit. Children inherently know the truth of this, though we risk losing touch with it as we become "adult-erated."

Unicorn spirit through the Children's Spirit Animal Cards, has this to say about imagination:

Many people believe in my existence yet these days very few have actually seen me. Whether or not someone has seen me or even believes in me, it doesn't matter. I know I'm real! I'm not walking around on the Earth any more as I once did, since I decided a while ago that I'd only be available by someone using their imagination. That's where I mainly live these days—in people's imaginations—along with other mythical beings like dragons and the phoenix.

Funny thing is, in its own way, imagination is just as real as the world you see around you! Just a different kind of reality. Everything that humans have created started with a thought
or a picture in someone's mind, with what someone first imagined. So no matter how you do so, it's time now to express your imaginative side in some way, whether through drawing, painting, writing, sculpting, or any other art form, And have fun doing it!

As adults it takes a child-like innocence to dip into the vast well of imagination to access this "different kind of reality." To do so, you can always call on the spirit of Unicorn.

Children, Imagination and Unicorns

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

#6 Children, Imagination and Unicorns

“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”        —Albert Einstein

With the creation and release of the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards a whole new vista for my work opened up, offering workshops for children and parents. So to introduce these cards I’ve so far taught two workshops on the theme with more scheduled. My wife Jessica joins me for some of these when she can. She’s the mother of two girls, Serena, eight, and Arianna, six, and is a conscientious mother who is currently writing a book on conscious parenting.

I recently completed an hour and a half workshop on the cards. It was a group of five adults and five children ranging in ages from five to thirteen—the children that is. I’m sure they all felt very supported and encouraged that their parent or grandparent was there with them.

There was healing, magic, and some powerful synchronicities. A ten year old boy we’ll call James, who had shared with the group his love for horses shuffles his deck and randomly pulls HORSE from the deck. Later on in the class he further shuffled the cards, had his mother select a card. She also pulled Horse. The message on the card from HORSE spirit said, “Trust your feelings.” Both mother and son agreed that it was a message they needed to hear.

Then there was the thirteen year old girl we’ll call Rebecca, who came with her friend and her friend’s mother. I watched in this workshop and in two subsequent workshops they attended how a spark of light gradually emerged from the expressionless look on her face, an adaptation that betrayed a likely history of childhood trauma. I have no doubt that this workshop and the others provided a strong ray of hope for her healing.

Then there was the little five year old, bright, blue-eyed, blond little girl we’ll call Sara, who came with her grandmother. She had a quiet demeanor and gentleness about her, completely present the entire class, listening intently with a very slight smile on her face the whole time. Sara looked like a very happy child.

I asked the group a few minutes into the evening what their favorite animal was. Most everyone, adult and child, shared theirs. Then Sara said something in a very quiet voice I couldn’t understand. I asked her twice to repeat herself, but it still wasn’t clear. Then Grandma translated. “Unicorn,” she said. “She’s been holding the UNICORN card since we started!”

I looked down to her hand and sure enough, there it was. This mythical creature that exists so strongly in our collective consciousness, conveying to us the message, “Use your imagination,” printed boldly across the bottom of the card. This little five year old girl knew the truth of that innately. The presence of an image of a unicorn on the UNICORN card gave her continued reassurance of that truth.

By saying that unicorns are mythical creatures is not saying they aren’t real. It’s a different reality in which unicorns exist, one in which our individual consciousness is intimately connected to the consciousness of our collective human species. Shared cultural and universal myths and stories abound in our collective consciousness. Imagination is the key to tapping into these myths and stories as well as perceiving the non-visible world of Spirit. Children inherently know the truth of this, though we risk losing touch with it as we become “adult-erated.”

Unicorn spirit through the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, has this to say about imagination:

Many people believe in my existence yet these days very few have actually seen me. Whether or not someone has seen me or even believes in me, it doesn’t matter. I know I’m real! I’m not walking around on the Earth any more as I once did, since I decided a while ago that I’d only be available by someone using their imagination. That’s where I mainly live these days—in people’s imaginations—along with other mythical beings like dragons and the phoenix.

Funny thing is, in its own way, imagination is just as real as the world you see around you! Just a different kind of reality. Everything that humans have created started with a thought
or a picture in someone’s mind, with what someone first imagined. So no matter how you do so, it’s time now to express your imaginative side in some way, whether through drawing, painting, writing, sculpting, or any other art form, And have fun doing it!

As adults it takes a child-like innocence to dip into the vast well of imagination to access this “different kind of reality.” To do so, you can always call on the spirit of Unicorn.

Turtle Spirit

Note to Reader:  This series will focus on how to encourage children to be more conscious and conscientious of the world around them, both the physical and the non-visible world of Spirit. These columns will initially focus on animal spirit guides found in the Children's Spirit Animal Cards, which are intended to help children understand the guidance that spirit animals can provide.

(#5)Turtle Spirit

"There is more to life than increasing its speed." —Mohandas K. Gandhi

"For fast-acting relief, try slowing down."—Lily Tomlin

A few years ago when I was writing my book Power Animals, I would ask the spirit of each of the 36 animals for a message, then transcribe it. I was often amazed at the wisdom of the advice that would be conveyed, as if there was a Bluetooth in my head through which each of the spirit animals dictated what I was to write.

Turtle especially came through loud and clear. When I asked what message he wanted me to communicate, he said in a very slow, deep voice, "Slow down! You've got all-l-l-l-l-l-l the time in the world," stretching out the words in a delightfully slow tempo of speech. Certainly made me listen that much more closely.
Flash forward to a recent vacation we took on the Big Island of Hawaii, where for the first few days we stayed with some good friends Bill and Stephanie. I was showing them the new Children's Spirit Animal Cards and pulled one as a demonstration, asking simply what I needed to pay attention to for this vacation. I drew the Turtle card, which had a similar message: "Take your time." I got it immediately that this was exactly the spirit animal and message I needed for this trip.

From there it was amazing how many times Turtle showed up in either physical or symbolic form. For instance, later that same day we went to Three Rings Ranch, the home of several rescued animals, and of course, there were two turtles there. Later that day we went snorkeling and two turtles appeared, resting on the rocks near the shoreline where we were swimming.

After we returned one evening I was reading a book to Ari and Serena, and the only animal that was in the book was a turtle. When I had searched for this book earlier, another one that had fallwen off the bookshelf was one of my favorites: Old Turtle. I'm not sure omens get any clearer than this! So even today I feel the presence of Turtle spirit and am continually reminded to slow down and take my time, to not get too caught up in the "hurry up sickness" that is so endemic to contemporary society.

The sage advice from Turtle spirit is captured in his words from the Children's Spirit Animal Cards, followed by some suggestions to support taking your time:

So many people are in a hurry these days that it is easy to forget to slow down and enjoy whatever is happening. You remember the story of the Tortoise and the Hare? Going faster doesn't always get you where you are going any more than taking your time and going at your own pace. It also takes courage at times because there are so many rabbits running around like crazy! Just know you will get there just as quickly by going at your own speed and at your own rhythm no matter how quickly others move.

And don't be in such a hurry to grow up too fast! You may find yourself wanting to do things the older kids are doing, or wanting to learn everything NOW. Know that over time you will learn everything you need to learn, so just take your time with each new thing you're learning instead of rushing off to something else or being upset because you can't accomplish more. It takes time to learn things, and you really have all the time in the world, so slow down and only move fast when you actually have to.

ACTIVITY
* Today walk a little bit slower than usual, breathing deeper and slower than usual in rhythm to your stride. Notice how that makes you feel.
* When you get involved with a project of any sort, take as much time as you need to complete it even if it extends over a few days (unless of course it's homework that is due tomorrow!)
* Ask your mother or father to spend a few hours at the park or beach with no watches or clocks around to remind you of the exact time.
* Observe how the moon changes slowly over a period of about four weeks, since it takes its time doing so.

So try some of these out and see what happens. I've noted that when I heed Turtle's advice I still get done what I need to, but stay calm and centered while doing them. I also take time to go outside whenever I can, even in the middle of writing projects that require continual focus. And life really is too short to make anything a bigger deal than it really is!

"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." —Will Rogers