Rob Bignell's Blog, page 340

Add color to your fiction manuscript

Even if your story offers a lot of dramatic tension and the sentences are tightly constructed, it still can feel a bit monochrome or colorless. When that occurs, the writing probably is not particularly vivid. Rather than read like a piece of fiction, the story instead will feel like a work of dry journalism.

Consider this fairly colorless passage:
Kneeling before the car, Carl Steinar thought his wife appeared to be sleeping, but he knew that she’d simply lost too much blood. A tear fell from his eyes. In a single moment, every memory of their few short years with one another surfaced: the first night together; of how she loved Nebraska; of her hands as they caressed his neck; of their two boys. He stumbled back, tried to hold back the weeping.

The piece lacks several elements that could make it more vibrant:
g Descriptions – To create a sense of the world where your story occurs, you’ll want to describe the spatial setting, the time, and the characters. Not doing this is akin to watching a play without any scenery and with a sheet rather than costumes tossed over the characters.
g Imagery – Good fiction writing appeals to the readers’ various senses – sight, smell, sound, taste and touch. Since people experience the world through their five senses, including them in a story helps the reader vicariously experience the fictional world.
g Symbolism – Descriptions and imagery can carry additional levels of meaning by being presented as similes, metaphors or other figurative language. Such connotations can carry great emotional weight.

By using these techniques, the above passage could be rewritten as:
Kneeling before the car, all he could see was crimson blood. His wife appeared to be asleep, but he knew that crumpled body, jammed between the driver’s seat and projecting steering wheel, had simply lost too much vital fluid for it to be true. Then a mist of lavender netting covered her, as if she was a bride about to wake, and Carl Steinar realized he was viewing Gwen through his tears. In a single moment, every memory of their few short years with one another surfaced: the first night together; of how she loved Nebraska’s yellow sky and the wind’s glorious cry, of her soothing hands as she caressed his neck; of their two little boys. He stumbled back, lay fetal position in the middle of the road, and shaking his head desperately tried to hold back the weeping.

This version of the passage is more vibrant because it actually describes the scene. For example, the reader can better visualize the car wreck through the description of his wife’s body and of where Carl Steinar lays in the roadway. The passage also makes much better use of imagery. We have an array of colors in the scene, such as the crimson blood, Nebraska’s yellow sky, the lavender netting that is Carl’s tears. There also is an appeal to senses beyond sight, specifically touch through a description of the wife’s smooth hands caressing his neck, and of sound via the wind’s glorious cry. Finally, the passage even makes use of symbolism with the simile as if she were a bride about to wake, which emotes Carl’s feelings toward her and his sense of loss.

Need an editor? Having your book, business document or academic paper proofread or edited before submitting it can prove invaluable. In an economic climate where you face heavy competition, your writing needs a second eye to give you the edge. I can provide that second eye.

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Avoid here-to-there action in storytelling

If your story feels like it’s dragging, you may want to look at what “action” is provided to readers. You might be giving too many “here-to-there” steps.

Here-to-there actions occur when the writer over-describes interim steps between actions that really matter to the plot. For example, if the story’s hero jumps into his car to chase a criminal, the writer would tell readers that the character placed the key into the ignition.

There’s no need to do that, though. All the reader needs to know is that our hero got into the vehicle and sped off. Readers are savvy enough to infer that to speed off the hero placed a key into the ignition and turned it.

Describing the key turning typically wouldn’t advance the plot because it isn’t suspenseful. In addition, it probably isn’t relevant to the overall story because it doesn’t provide any context that would be useful to understanding the character, setting or theme.

The writer might make such here-to-there action suspenseful by making an obstacle for the character. In the above example, perhaps the hero has had trouble with his car’s starter, and it picks this inopportune time to not work for him. The writer also could use here-to-there action to provide context. For example, in a science fiction story, perhaps the hero doesn’t need a key but instead must tell the vehicle’s AI to start moving; this context helps establish the story’s setting.

Need an editor? Having your book, business document or academic paper proofread or edited before submitting it can prove invaluable. In an economic climate where you face heavy competition, your writing needs a second eye to give you the edge. I can provide that second eye.

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Five Great Quotations about Writing SF

“If it has horses and swords in it, it’s a fantasy, unless it also has a rocketship in it, in which case it becomes science fiction. The only thing that’ll turn a story with a rocketship in it back into fantasy is the Holy Grail.” – Debra Doyle

“To write good SF today...you must push further and harder, reach deeper into your own mind until you break through into the strange and terrible country wherein live your own dreams.” – Gardner Dozois

“Science fiction writers, I am sorry to say, really do not know anything. We can’t talk about science, because our knowledge of it is limited and unofficial, and usually our fiction is dreadful.” – Philip K. Dick

“In science there is a dictum: don’t add an experiment to an experiment. Don’t make things unnecessarily complicated. In writing fiction, the more fantastic the tale, the plainer the prose should be. Don’t ask your readers to admire your words when you want them to believe your story.” – Ben Bova

“I don’t think the scientific method and the science fictional method are really analogous. The thing about them is that neither is really practiced very much, at least not consciously. But the fact that they are methodical does relate them.” – Frederik Pohl

Need an editor? Having your book, business document or academic paper proofread or edited before submitting it can prove invaluable. In an economic climate where you face heavy competition, your writing needs a second eye to give you the edge. I can provide that second eye.

 

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Don’t let personal turmoil stymie your writing

My writing is in my control.

All too often, problems in a writer’s life negatively affects the ability to write. Never mind that the personal issue requires attention, draining away valuable writing time. The issue itself distracts the mind, so that rather focusing on a manuscript, the writer finds this turmoil dominating one’s thoughts.

In short, unable to concentrate, the writer is unable to be creative.

Rather than think of turmoil as an obstacle to writing, though, embrace the opportunities it provides.

Good writers see every situation as an idea for a story. Indeed, as a good reader you’ve probably noticed there are any number of books out there deal with the issues you face, that examine the very themes of your life.

How you wind your way through this turmoil, the solutions you contemplate and either attempt or reject, the emotions you experience during this difficult time, all make for a great story. You have plot and characters right before you. Now you can add your own perspective to the pool of literature about this topic, and you have theme.

While turmoil may prevent you from writing at the moment, you certainly can take notes and even outline.

And once you start writing, you likely will find it cathartic. Why?

Because you control your story. While you may not be able to control the variables affecting your personal life, that’s not so with your tale. You are the god shaping the universe on your computer screen or notebook.

That’s why you always can say to yourself, “My writing is in my control.”

Need an editor? Having your book, business document or academic paper proofread or edited before submitting it can prove invaluable. In an economic climate where you face heavy competition, your writing needs a second eye to give you the edge. I can provide that second eye.

 

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Write then publish your next book

The more books you write, the more you’ll sell. Generally speaking, don’t devote yourself solely to promoting a single book for months on end. Promote it a lot during the first few weeks after its release but then taper off to just one effort a day as you dedicate the bulk of your time to writing the next book. Sales of your first book will go up with the publication of your second one. Before the “7 Minutes a Day…” series, I wrote four books, and inevitably each boosted sales of the ones published before it. In fact, if doing a countdown of which of my books have sold the most copies, it would correlate perfectly with how many weeks it’s be available for sale…often the longer the book has been out, the higher the sales.

Need an editor? Having your book, business document or academic paper proofread or edited before submitting it can prove invaluable. In an economic climate where you face heavy competition, your writing needs a second eye to give you the edge. I can provide that second eye.

 

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Editing client published second comedic novel

An editing client of mine, Kenneth Newton-Allen, has published his second satirical novel, “Leftovers from the Last Supper.” The book tells the tale of Reverend “Burley” Jesus (pronounced hay-seuss) McWhurley, the nation’s most prominent preeminent all-media evangelist, who hoping to raise money to build the greatest cathedral in Christendom that God has apparently directed him to build in Beverly Hills, embarks on a nationwide debating tour with atheist E. Mason Hyde, an obscure writer just hoping to promote his unknown book. When the tour is over, however, Hyde is startled to find a stranger at his door who claims that he is Jesus (pronounced gee-sus) Christ. Is this stranger professing to be Jesus merely a ploy by Burley? Is this stranger just another wretched mental defect who honestly believes that he is Jesus? Or is this stranger in reality Jesus Christ, making what would have to be billed as history’s Ultimate Comeback? The book is available for purchase online.

Need an editor? Having your book, business document or academic paper proofread or edited before submitting it can prove invaluable. In an economic climate where you face heavy competition, your writing needs a second eye to give you the edge. I can provide that second eye.

 

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Serial comma: Use, don't use, or don’t worry?

A number of grammarians, teachers often think that punctuation, capitalization, spelling and grammar rules are absolute. The reality is that grammar hardly is black and white. It evolves over time, and depending on your current location in the world – the United States or the British Commonwealth; Canada or England – different rules generally are considered the norm of what constitutes proper English. Indeed, even within a country, various editors and teachers will espouse conflicting rules.

One such rule is that of the serial comma (aka the series comma, Oxford comma, or Harvard comma). For example, The MLA Style Manual, The Chicago Manual of Style, Strunk and White’s Elements of Style, and the U.S. Government Printing Office Style Manual all give one rule while the Associated Press Style Manual gives a contradictory rule...and the AP rule generally matches what most British style guides say, though even in Merry Ol’ England not all grammarians agree.

The serial comma rule issue centers on whether a comma is needed in a list. For example, in the sentence California, Oregon and Washington border the Pacific Ocean, should a comma appear after the second to last item on the list (Oregon)? The MLA Style Manual, The Chicago Manual of Style, Strunk and White’s Elements of Style, and the U.S. Government Printing Office Style Manual say “yes.” The Associated Press Style Manual and most British style guides say “no.”

Worse, these rules shift slightly when the listed items are phrases. Most stylebooks – including the Associated Press – say a comma is needed after the second to last item in a series of phrases, such as in the sentence: Common weapons used in science fiction stories include ray guys based on laser technology, disrupters that utilize concentrated sound waves, and plasma blasts of highly concentrated ionized gas.

When editing, I generally follow the Associated Press Style of Manual rules on the serial comma. Why? Because readers are less likely to think of it as an error as they primarily read media reports either in print or on the Internet that follow this style. In addition, many readers pick up books British Commonwealth authors who don’t use the Oxford comma in a series of single words.

All is relative, however. As a writer, you should follow a stylebook and stick to it. If your publisher follows The Chicago Manual of Style or your professor follow The MLA Style Manual, then that’s what you should go with. Whatever you do, be consistent with the style within the book.

Need an editor? Having your book, business document or academic paper proofread or edited before submitting it can prove invaluable. In an economic climate where you face heavy competition, your writing needs a second eye to give you the edge. I can provide that second eye.

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Incorporate imagery into your story

When creating your story’s setting or explaining what your characters are doing, you’ll need to use imagery. Imagery is necessary to move along the plot and to establish tone.

When describing a landscape, character or action, you’ll need to appeal to one or more of the senses that people use to perceive the world. There are five senses:
g Sight – What we can see with our eyes, as in Nevar examined the black hole ahead. It had the diameter of a mere asteroid. X-rays shot from the white-hot disc at its center, each ring farther out as darkening from white to blue.
g Sound – What we can hear, like As Nevar quietly assisted, her brother tapped here and there.
g Smell – The scent of something, as in The smell of sweat trickling down her temple overtook the faint whiff of ozone permeating the cockpit.
g Touch – What we can feel when things come into contact with our bodies (or they can be a description of the body’s sensation of touch), as in Nevar’s back ached.
g Taste – The flavor of something when it comes into contact with the tongue, as in Her mouth grew dry.

Using as many of the senses as possible makes a scene more real. In everyday life, we experience all of these five senses at all times. Sitting in a coffee shop writing this entry, I see the barista racing to and fro as filling an order, hear the hushed voices of the couple sitting behind me as they try to keep their disagreement from bursting into a public scene, taste the bitter coffee, catch a whiff of the pear-scented perfume of a woman passing my table on her way to the counter, shiver at the cold breeze from the air conditioner that is working on overdrive. In fiction, the key is to make these different senses work with one another to create tone.

When writing imagery, follow these guidelines:
g Make sure it serves a purpose – Any description should move along the plot and help develop characters and dramatic tension. If it’s solely being used to establish the location of the story or to indicate a background character’s actions, keep the description quick and simple.
g Avoid flowery prose simply for the sake of waxing poetic – Purple prose only makes the story campy.
g Remain cautious about offering lengthy descriptions – Descriptions in novels obviously can be longer than those in short stories. Still, the longer the description, the greater the chance that it will cause the reader to forget what’s going on in the story.
g Capture the “essence” of a place/moment/character through description – If a landscape is supposed to be inviting, then describe it as such by noting the ferns hanging over the waterfall, the bubbling brook, and the shade from a green willow. An inviting environment would not be excessively hot with the sun beating down.
g Use sensory details rather than internalized ones – Sensory details (blue, sour, loud, smooth) are specific rather than general. Internalized details (angry, pleased, innocent, civilized) amount to using fuzzy words and give no real impression of what is being described.

Need an editor? Having your book, business document or academic paper proofread or edited before submitting it can prove invaluable. In an economic climate where you face heavy competition, your writing needs a second eye to give you the edge. I can provide that second eye.

 

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Consider using counterplotting in your novel

One solid plotting strategy for a long novel – though it also will work in a novella or a long short story – is to split the main characters into two groups and alternate the focus of scenes or chapters between them. The two groups then reunite at the story’s climax. This technique is called counterplotting. It’s often is used in quest novels.

Counterplotting is a great way to achieve dramatic tension in a longer story. This can be done by ending each chapter or scene with a cliffhanger, which sets up the narrative hook for the next chapter or scene in which those characters appear. The writer keeps the suspense alive by making the reader wait to see what will happen.

Another advantages to counterplotting is that the writer can more easily build an image of the world through a “narrative collage” or a “kaleidoscopic” journey through it. Seeing the world solely through the eyes of a lone main character can be limiting.

More skilled writers tend to artfully use counterplotting by creating a parallel process between the two groups. For example, to resolve the story’s central problem, each group learns enough that they have a partial solution. When they come together, their partial solutions combined offer the actual answer for overcoming the antagonist.

An offshoot of counterplotting is the multi-stranded plot, when three or more groups form a narrative thread. This is most often used in disaster stories or tales with a large cast of main characters. The movie “Star Trek IV” employed it when Kirk and Spock as one group try to locate whales, Scotty, McCoy and Sulu as one group gathered materials to build a whale tank on their ship, and Uhura and Chekov as a third group try to find a nuclear reactor to re-energize the dilithium crystals.

The danger of counterplotting is the author can leave the reader in suspense for too long between chapters/scenes. In other cases, especially with multi-stranded tales, the plot becomes too complicated for readers to follow and enjoy. Ultimately, too many loose ends can occur at the story’s end, much to readers’ dissatisfaction.

Need an editor? Having your book, business document or academic paper proofread or edited before submitting it can prove invaluable. In an economic climate where you face heavy competition, your writing needs a second eye to give you the edge. I can provide that second eye.

 

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Five Great Quotes about the Business of Writing

“There are three difficulties in authorship: to write anything worth publishing – to find honest men to publish it – and to get sensible men to read it.” – Charles Caleb Cotton

“Writers are schizophrenic. On the one hand we tell ourselves, ‘This is a work of genius! I’ve created Art!’ Then we try to peddle it, like a widget, to The New Yorker, Playboy, or SF Age.” – Ken Rand

“Most writers can write books faster than publishers can write checks.” – Richard Curtis

“Sir, nobody but a blockhead ever wrote except for money.” – Samuel Johnson

“Instead of marveling with Johnson, how anything but profit should incite men to literary labor, I am rather surprised that mere emolument should induce them to labor so well.” – Thomas Green

Need an editor? Having your book, business document or academic paper proofread or edited before submitting it can prove invaluable. In an economic climate where you face heavy competition, your writing needs a second eye to give you the edge. I can provide that second eye.

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