Jonathan Ryan's Blog, page 20

I Want To Believe: Theresa’s Story

The theater is tiny, curtained on all sides, with carpeted benches rather than seats. There I perch, legs curled sideways, ankles crossed. One film after another. Jugglers and clowns. Pointy-breasted showgirls. A rattlesnake. A painted cave. Pina Bausch, dancing en pointe with cow flesh in her slippers. My neighbors gasp, and sigh. They exhale wonder, […]

Dark Devotional: Going it Alone

  Suddenly an angel touched him and said to him, “Get up and eat.”  He looked, and there at his head was a cake baked on hot stones, and a jar of water. 1 Kings 4:5-6 Growing up, my father worked for a small commercial airline in Alaska and as part of this job, our family […]

I Want To Believe: Kristy’s Story

People ask me the same question a lot: How can you still be a Christian? They usually aren’t asking how I could still believe in God. What they really want to know is, “How can you stand to be around Christians when they cause so much damage?” The person who asks me this question knows […]

Dark Devotional: No Grumbling for the Grumleys

  “Hello, I am calling to speak to Mrs. or Mr. Grumbley?” Growing up, when the landline would ring and who ever was on the other end of the line asked for a Grumble or Grumbley we knew it was a telemarketer. My last name is Grumley, and I grew up in a strict no […]

Heavenly Protest: On the Afterlife of Radiohead

On June 16th, 2012, as Radiohead’s crew was setting up the elaborate LED stage lighting system for the band’s show in Downsview Park in Toronto, the stage suffered a collapse, injuring three and killing the tour’s drum technician, Scott Johnson. The show was cancelled, the sellout crowd sent home, and the media speculated about whether […]

I Want To Believe: Matt’s Story

I’m not sure about this. This whole series, I Want To Believe, scares me, even though it was my idea. I was born into a Catholic family. I went to Catholic school for my entire primary school career. I grew up in a reality that was obviously created by an invisible God who spoke to […]

Dark Devotional: The Traps of Desires

For me, one of the most difficult lessons to learn is the one expressed in the Gospel passage concerning the multiplication of the loaves. The theme is simple: the line that divides what we need from what we desire is a very thin line, difficult to distinguish clearly. I am aware that in Catholic spirituality […]

I Want To Believe: Introduction

I can remember my first class in grad school, Intro to Counseling, almost a decade ago. I remember fidgeting with a brand new ink pen, tapping it against a pristine 3-subject notebook I’d just bought as I hungrily devoured my professor’s words.  “A lot of people will question whether they want to talk to you. […]

Dark Devotional: Bigger Than Holy Dirt

Original art by the sparkly and crystalline Brian Jocks. “There is nothing so secular it cannot be sacred.” Madeleine L’Engle I am not Catholic. Nor do I identify with any of the Protestant branches, not even Anglican or Episcopalian. I do not identify with the Bible or even Jesus. But the God I imagine does […]

Sick Pilgrim Goes to the Movies: Kiki’s Delivery Service

If you happen to visit our house sometime and find yourself invited down to our basement, you will notice two things: 1. board games, and 2. this large figure made out of a cardboard box. He used to have ears, but they fell off. These things happen. For those of you not in the know, […]