T.L. Gray's Blog, page 41

Make It Happen

One of my New Year’s resolutions this year pertained to a lot of hiking, enjoying the outdoors, and experiencing more of the things I love.  I’m happy to report I’m doing a really great job keeping those promises.
Being outdoors does something for me I can’t really explain.  When I’m in the woods I can step outside the four walls that close around me all the time.  On an emotional level, I’m able to disconnect from fears that pressure me. I can think more clearly among the birds, the trees, and the glorious sunshine. The wind speaks to me.  The colors paint me beautiful pictures.  The songs of nature sing me beautiful lullabies.  I feel human, a part of the earth, and connected with the universe when I’m in the woods.  I feel I belong - not alone, not unwanted, not unloved.
We all dream about doing things.  We probably suggest to ourselves a dozen times a day wonderful ideas of amazing adventures, yet we either talk ourselves out of those dreams and settle for a more practical solution, or just forget about them altogether.  I’m a pro.  For most of my life, I didn’t fight for the opportunities to do these things for myself.  I allowed the practical to rule the day.  Not anymore.
I have a journal I received at Christmas that has the words “Make It Happen” stamped across the front.  This is my outdoor adventure journal, where I fill it with tokens, receipts, pamphlets, passes, and reminders of the excursions I take.  I know as I fill this journal, I’m not just filling dreams on a page, I’m LIVING these adventures.  I’m making it happen. 
I know how easy we can allow the practicality and hardships of life to steal these dreams from us.  But, I can’t express how much we need to protect them and do what we can to make them happen.  Life isn’t made up of those great moments, because great moments are far and few between.  What makes our lives worthwhile are what we decide to do in the simple every day moments. Don’t throw those little dreams away.  Instead, make them happen.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

The Lessons I Learned

Stepping out of my warm apartment this morning, ready to tackle another mile run in a fight to keep my body healthy, I groaned when I met dreary overcast skies and strong artic winds.  Where was my sunshine? After a shiver as the cold blasted me in the face, I stuck the buds in my ears, hit the play button on my iPod, and took off. 
It was a very difficult run this morning.  The winds were so strong I literally had to bend my head down and push hard just to get any forward motion.  Being really short, I already struggle with my speed.  It takes more of my short steps to reach the same distance as a taller person in the same amount of time.  When I’m running against 28mph wind gusts in 32 chilly degrees, I don’t get very far, very fast.  Needless to say, though I’m working twice as hard, I didn’t make any gains on my running goals.  I hate not making my goals.
As I ran and glanced into gray clouds, and watched swarms of leaves cascade across the ground in mighty waves, I wondered how many more days will be like this. I heard no answer.   I pushed forward with my lungs burning and my muscles aching and wondered how much longer I have to keep fighting.  The answer came instantly - always.  The fight never ends. So, I pushed a little harder and wondered what lesson I was supposed to have learned from all this adversity.  That I can take a good beating?  Guess what? I learned that lesson a long time ago.  That I can live in a world unloved and unwanted?  I’ve learned that lesson too.  That nothing is guaranteed, nothing is secure, nothing is forever?  Check, check, check. 
Well, by this time, warm tears spilled out of my eyes and turned ice cold before they reached my cheeks.  I looked up into those gray swirling clouds and inside my mind, above the noise of the music and beyond the buzz of the universe, my soul screamed, “I know that a sun sits above those clouds. I know behind this angry arctic blast is a warm whisper in the wind.  No matter how hard adversity comes against me, or how long reprieve remains silent, I will still hope, I will still believe, I will still fight, and I will still love.  And if I’m still here when the wind stops and the clouds part, I will be standing with my head held high. Do your worst.  Destroy me if you must. I will not give up.”
So, what lesson did I learn on my chilly run this morning? I’m stubborn, perhaps a big fool, and quite lonely.  It’s not good to be isolated in your own mind all the time.  I’m beginning to understand why friends are so important - they provide an opportunity to take the focus off ourselves for a few moments.  I also learned to take a jacket and wear a pair of gloves.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Never Satisfied

One of my good friends always complains to me that I’m never satisfied.  It hurts my heart they feel this way, because it often upsets them.  I’m sure it makes them feel like their efforts toward me, and the love they’ve invested in me, are being wasted.  I’m often at a loss for words when they express their frustration, because it’s hard to explain to them exactly how much their effort and love mean to me. 
They are right.  I’m not satisfied, and that’s a purposeful effort, and a hard one to maintain. 
When I was younger and filled with hope, despite how dark life was around me, I fought hard against accepting the life offered, and refused to be satisfied with the hopelessness I was being fed.  I knew I deserved a better life and wanted more, so I fought against prejudice, oppression, and abuse, seeking a better life, a life worth living for, a life of happiness, peace and respect.  I nearly killed myself in this pursuit, both physically and spiritually. 
Somewhere along the way I lost love for myself and zeal to fight. I began to die.  I forgot about that feisty little rebel and became a zombie – going through the motions but dead on the inside.  Thanks to a spark of life and the blossoming love I’m building for myself, and the love I’ve received from my dear friends, and the love I have for them, I’m being reborn.  I’m fighting for myself. I’m fighting for my future. I’m fighting for my dreams.
So, NO – I’m not satisfied.  I hope to always want more. I hope to always seek better. I will never get enough, because as soon as I receive some of the good, I’m going to want more. My friend gives me the good, beautiful things in life. How could I not want more? That doesn’t mean I don’t have the deepest of love and appreciation for what I’ve been given.  On the contrary - without their love, support, and belief in me I wouldn’t be growing and fighting as I am.  Their efforts mean the WORLD to me and I love them dearly for it.
I know I need to find a way to show that appreciation so my friends don’t feel my lack of satisfaction is some failure on their part.  They have not failed me, and I hope beyond hope not to fail them. Mostly, I don’t want to let them or myself down. I’m content with their love and friendship, but I’ll never be satisfied. I will always want more of them, their love, their efforts, their concern, their care, their dreams, their opinions, their advice, their comfort, their presence, and their laughter. They are good enough, more than good enough, they are excellence… and I still want more.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Author Interview - Jeff Suwak - Author Interview Corner

Here is the latest interview featuring North Star author Jeff Suwak at Author Interview Corner
Here is a snippet of the interview:
How long have you been writing?
I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. The first story I remember writing was when I was five years old. It was a horror story that included basically every monster ever included in a popular movie or book. There were werewolves rising out of the mud and vampires running from the forest… all for no discernible reason.
http://authorinterviewcorner.wordpress.com/2014/03/03/jeff-suwak/

Check it out.

Being Comfortable in My Own Skin

Those who know me know I’ve never really been on my own.  I come from a large family, having five brothers which I helped raise, to starting my own family right out of high school.  I spent the next two and a half decades juggling family, college, church, and career.  Those were very important times in my life, and the experience of them shaped so many of my thoughts, values, likes, and dislikes. It completely dictated what I did and didn’t do.
I’m in a new time in my life, a single time, and most often an alone time.  I never had alone time before and it takes some getting used to – because now I have no distractions to keep me from focusing on my own needs, discovering my own wants, and exploring my own desires.  I’ve been a Martha for so long, I quite honestly don’t know how to be a good Mary. I am learning, though, and I have to admit, I really like what I’m discovering.  I’m finding out it’s not so bad being comfortable in my own skin.
So much has changed in my life over the last couple of years, and one of those things have been my groups of friends. I’ve learned that not everybody who told me they love me really did.  They loved the “idea” of loving me, but the execution wasn’t so simple. It’s not their fault either, I didn’t make it easy to love me, and I still don’t.  For many years, I didn’t love myself and no matter how much anyone else loved me, it didn’t help.  I really didn’t know what love was, not real love. I still don’t – really, other than the love I’ve developed for myself, my children, my God, and a few very special friends.
Friends are important.  I’m beginning to think they’re much more important than a lover, but let’s wait until I get a lover and see if my mind changes on that aspect.  Being able to share myself and things in common with people I care about is very important.  I’m a social being.  I’m not meant to be alone and isolated, none of us are.  We need each interaction, we need stimulation, and we need human contact.  But, I’m learning to appreciate solitude, being comfortable in doing things alone, because other people are not going to always be there.  People come and go in my life, and no matter how much I plan on their presence being there, nothing is guaranteed.  I’ve spent too much of my life ‘waiting’ on someone else and allowed too many of my dreams to slip through my fingers because I couldn’t get someone else to be with me, help me, or go with me.  No more. 
If I don’t have anyone to go with me to a place I desire to go, or to do something I desire to do, I’m okay being on my own. The times I have been alone felt a little strange at first, but I’ve come to enjoy them.  Yesterday, I spent the whole day alone - and I loved every minute of it.  It was nice that I didn’t need anyone else to have a good time.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to become a hermit and isolate myself from humanity because I’ve learned I don’t need anyone.  It’s just nice to know I’m enough company for myself.  I still have wants and desires, and one of those desires is to share my life with someone special, to have a great romance, to be somebody’s bright spot, to have lots of wonderful, loving friends, and to live a life full of adventure.  Friends may come and go, a prince may never arrive on his white stallion and sweep me off my feet, or I may not accomplish everything I’ve set my mind to do – but at least it won’t be because I waited on someone else.  I’m not waiting on anyone anymore, except myself.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

I'm Hanging Up my Cape for a Compass

The world is a crazy place.  The earth is a beautiful wonder, a magical exclamation of awe and excellence. People inside it come in all shapes, sizes, and ideals.  I have to shake my head sometimes at the ignorance and intolerance that spreads like an incurable disease, but I refuse to let it destroy my view and make it an ugly place.  I’m weary from trying to save it, when I can’t even save myself.
I’ve allowed too many people to steal my dreams and crush my hopes, that I’ve become quite protective over them these days.  I no longer trust the words of “someday” or “tomorrow” because those never seem to come and end up being broken promises.  I am learning to live in the day.  I’m learning to be happy with me and do what I can to make my immediate world a better place - not by fighting some political, social, or spiritual war, but by loving myself and extending what love I can to those around me or who I might meet. 
Ask yourself…  Who are you?  Really, look deep inside and determine who you are – what you like, what moves you, what you dream, what you desire, what makes you happy.Where have you been? Have you been somewhere in your life you cherish and that made your soul sing?  If not, what keeps you from going out and exploring the world to find that place?  Are you afraid?  What excuses do you use to keep you where you are?  What about circumstances in life – are you where you want to be?  What have you done?  What have you done for yourself, for others, for the world?  What impact on this earth have you made?  What mark will you leave?  We only get so many days on this earth, and we have no control when that last day will come, and it’s up to US – not someone else – to make the best of the days we have.  It’s the everyday, little decisions and moments that make up our lives, it’s where we do our living.  What do you fill your moments with?  What are the consequences for those little decisions?
I want to go, I want to do, I want to see, I want to experience, I want to explore, I want to know, I want to taste, and I want to feel – EVERYTHING.  I want to make wild, passionate love, I want to laugh, I want to dance, I want to sing, I want to be loved.
I’m making plans -  but I’m going even one step further than that because I’m not waiting on tomorrow and someday – and I’m doing.  You can either come along with me, or stay behind.  I can’t let anyone steal these things from me any longer or crush my hopes for them in my life.  Someone else can save the world.  I’m hanging up my cape for a compass.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Lovin', and Huggin', and Kissin', and Squeezin'

I grew up with a skewed sense of touch.  I was never hugged as a child.  It wasn’t that my parents didn’t hug their children, my mother couldn’t hug my brothers enough. Perhaps I was an odd child and didn’t allow the interaction on the onset, because she never hugged me. I spent so much of my life angry and hugging just wasn't an acceptable affection.  Everyone that knew me noted my reluctance, earning me a few nick names.  I didn’t trust people, especially enough to let them touch me. 
In school, I was the same way with my friends.  While many of them hugged each other, (I thought it seemed odd to me the way girls were always going around hugging each other) they didn’t hug me, nor did I hug them back.  I’m sure that was also some unconscious decision on my part. I’ve purposefully tried to change that habit over the years, especially since getting published and going to signings and meeting fans. 
I don’t like to be touched on a regular basis.  It took me years to get okay with the people at church, especially here in the Deep South who have no concept of personal space and without permission would just wrap their arms around me and squeeze, to always hug me on greetings and salutations.  Well, quite honestly, I've never become okay with the action.  I just tolerated it because I understood it was the custom.
I don't have to worry about hugging at work, because I an a professional, and professionals shake hands. That’s usually my first response when I meet someone – to push my hand out there.  It serves as both a greeting and a barrier to protect against an invasion of my personal space.
For the twenty years I was married, my husband was a gentle, caring man, but we rarely hugged and never kissed. Yet, he knew the boundaries and knew what forms of touch would calm me.  He had this way of sitting next to me and gently rubbing my arm.  It was a small amount of touch, but it had a huge result, because it would calm me, reassure me everything was going to be okay, and let me know he cared.  There were times I was afraid, and all I needed was that little bit of contact, and my fears would go away. 
When my children were little I covered them with hugs and kisses and told them I loved them all the time.  We used to have these early morning sessions before school where they fought over who got to be beside me and who loved me most.  But as they grew, I apparently taught them to hold back when it came to touching me or showing affection.  Sometimes this hurts my heart.  I know they love and care for me, but somehow I still managed to build this barrier between us. They don’t hug, kiss, or touch me, nor do they tell me they love me. When they do, it's awkward.
I don’t believe I’m opposed to being hugged, touched, squeezed or told I'm loved, but I sure do make it hard. I dream of it often. I desire to be kissed, to be caressed, and to be cherished, to be romantically persued. My fantasies are most often very simple, surrounding the act of being held. There are so many nights I curl into a tight ball and hug myself because I’m scared, lonely, and physically ache for human contact. I have wonderful friends who are always quick to give me words of encouragement when I’m down, and I love them for it.  But the ones I love most can’t put their arms me when I’m scared.  The ones I trust most can’t hold me when I’m hurting.  The ones I desire most are very far away.  Part of me wonders if that too was a subconscious decision. I’ve only ever felt comfortable and trusted one person’s touch, surely there’s another out there.
I know there is something special about human contact.  There’s something special about lovin’, huggin’, kissin’, and squeezin’. I just haven’t found the key to making it a reality, yet. I'm very comfortable being on my own now, and know that I don't need anyone in my life to be happy.  I WANT someone in my life... to hold me. If you have someone in your life you can wrap your arms around, do it, and be thankful.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Being Debt... Free.

So, I went online to check out my credit score and I got a "low" grade, being just shy of 700, a good auto insurance score of 864, and a good home insurance score over 850.

First of all... I didn't know there was an auto insurance and home insurance score.  And second of all... I don't care that I've got a low grade... I smiled bigger than you could believe when I looked down their report and saw: ·         Open credit card accounts: 0.  ·         Open auto loans: 0.  ·         Open home loans: 0. ·         Open other loans: 0. 
On my report card they gave me a "C" for my total accounts, but my grading system is a little different than theirs.  I think having no debt is a good thing.  Being debt-free is something to be proud of. 
I used to live on credit cards, car and mortgage loans, and student loans... and it made me a slave to the world's system. I worked hard and sacrificed a lot of wants, desires, and dreams to get free from all that debt - and right now all I have to worry about is surviving from day to day with providing for my basic necessities.
I liquidated a lot of "things" to be free, and gave up a lot of creature comforts… like driving a new car, monthly hair and nail appointments, seasonal shopping sprees, and buying what pleased the eye – to pay for later.  Now as I go forward, I work for what I want, chase what I desire, and sacrifice for what I dream.  A lot of times I have to say “no” to what pleases my eye, save up for months to do one special thing, or learn to hunt for bargains and sales. But, I now have a deep appreciation for the things I do get to enjoy.  My priorities changed… and adventures, not stuff, make me happy.
Being debt free didn't make it so I didn't have to work just as hard as the next guy.  We ALL have to work hard, and those who think they don’t have to work and have everything given to them, shame on them and their selfishness.  They're not free; they just often don’t realize it.  Nothing is free. But, the difference in the feeling of working by choice and working by force is something I can't express in words.

I hope I’m able to continue to be free. I’m finding just trying to provide the basic necessities of survival hard in and of itself.  I didn’t mind giving up that freedom for a time when I had a family to take care of, but it’s just me now.  I don’t have to be sensible, I can take chances.  Who knows the adventure that waits for me? Yeah, yeah, yeah… In my mind’s eye I can see all the Practical Sam’s out there pointing their fingers at me and lecturing me on responsibilities, duties, and retirement plans. I know I can fail miserably and end up in a homeless shelter… but I could also fly.
While the credit companies give me a "C"... I give me wings.
Till next time,~T.L. Gray

Soul-Searching on a Tuesday Morning (Re-Post)

You know, I really wish I had everything figured out, I knew the answers to all my problems, the direct path to fulfill my dreams, the key to finding and keeping love, and which door truly leads to peace and happiness.  Come on now, I can hear many of those automatic responses popping into your head as you read this blog post, because you do the same thing.   But, every day I’m learning more and more I don’t even know the questions, much less the answers.  I convince myself, almost on a daily basis, of what is the right thing for me to do.  But at the end of each day, I feel like I’m keeping a journal of all the wrong things to avoid, having experienced them first hand. So, here I am once again soul-searching on a Tuesday morning. Once again, I’m totally lost.Knowing I can’t trust my emotions and decision-making process, I turn to a few varied sources; people I trust and admire and books that stretch my understanding and test my faith.  I’ve chosen four inspirations this morning.  Let’s just hope I can make some kind of sense out of all this turmoil.  I’m so tired of being lost and afraid.  I’m exhausted, frustrated, and just spent.  Please let me find an answer, or at least something to hold onto with a tendril of assurance.I’m a woman of faith.  You can’t tell it by most of the decisions I’ve made in my life recently, not if you’re looking on the outside.  But it’s by my faith, and through my love and relationship with my God that I first learned to love myself.  In loving me, I’ve made some bold moves to find me.  Unless you’re on the same journey as me, my actions seem detriment to most faiths.  Everyone has an idea of what a faithful servant looks like, but I’m finding most people don’t look past an image, behind a mask, beneath the flesh, and right into the heart.  We lie to ourselves, expecting our blind obedience to bring a life of prosperity and easiness, yet that’s never been the promise.  I find myself constantly saying, “I’ll be happy when…”  NO!   I must be happy right in the middle of my chaos .  If I let hardship, fear, loneliness or anxiety steal my joy, take away my faith, I’ve already lost.  If I can’t smile, even as these tears streak down my face and I shake with fear, then what’s the point? Ecclesiastes 12:1 – “Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth, before the difficult days come, and the years draw near when you say, ‘I have no pleasure in them’; while the sun and the light, the moon and the stars, are not darkened, and the clouds do not return after the rain…”  We’re not taught in Sunday school such days lay ahead for us, not for the faithful and the obedient.  No, for us awaits rainbows and sunshine.  I have come to know these dark times intimately, I’ve known them most of my life, yet I still hope and believe.  Keep in mind, I did tell you at the beginning of this post I don't know the answers.My next source of soul-searching comes from a book that was given to me on my birthday by a dear friend called, “Finding Your Own North Star” by Martha Beck.  I’ve been studying the chapter titled The Disconnected Self.  Ms. Beck explains there are two halves to each of us (our essential self and our social self), and having balance of these two halves is detriment to us discovering our own North Star, our true purpose in life, our life design, our fulfilling existence.  I immediately recognized my own imbalance, well really I’ve been aware of it long before being given this book, but Ms. Beck helps me identify just how and why I’m unbalanced. I’m a results-driven person. My value has always been wrapped up in my performance and productivity.  It’s been rewarded and punished, given and taken based on my achievements and accomplishments.  I could always answer… “I’m loved, appreciated and wanted because …”, and then fill in the blank.  Not loved, appreciated and wanted just as I am; strengths and weaknesses, accomplishments and failures, etc.  There’s always an excuse why - “I’m just not attracted, it’s just not the right time, if things were different, if I wasn’t, if you weren’t …”  My father used to tell me, “There’s something about you that brings out the best and worst in me.  I hate how you make me feel.  If you do this to everyone else, no one will ever love you all the way, because you make them see themselves for who they are, and nobody likes who they really are.”  His words have always haunted me, made me feel responsible for being a disappointment to everyone, always setting impossible standards no one can fulfill, not even myself. “Today, the Melvins (results-driven) of the world are being downsized out of the very careers for which they sacrificed their essential selves.” ~Martha Beck, Finding Your Own North Star.  I remember the years of busting tables, wiping asses, living paycheck to paycheck, and climbing the ladder with doing whatever it took to succeed - late nights, overtime, two jobs, and endless sacrifices for family and friends, fighting for the days when all the struggle would pay off - …after the degree …after the first paycheck …after the next raise …after the mortgage is paid off …after the kids are grown.  Guess, what? After never came.  I sacrificed so many moments in pursuit of achievements I thought I had to have to be loved, wanted, needed and desired.  Here I am now with nothing and alone, all those things I sacrificed for, all those people I tried to please… where are they? The true treasure I lost was me.  I chose me, and all those things (money, career, prestige, success, relationships) disappeared.  I have to start over, but this time will be different.  This time is for me.My last two inspirations come from two very special men who have come into my life this past year.  The admiration and respect I have for them is so abundant it’s overwhelming really.  Because the things I truly admire about them aren't anything tangible, but in how they show the world to me through their words, their writing, their friendships, and their gifts.  It’s like our souls connected on a higher plane.  Well, their souls connected.  I still feel sometimes like an observer, not really worthy to be in their company.I read an article this morning titled “Bruce Lee’s Grave” by Jeff Suwak.  The story is about a man who wanted to visit the grave site of his hero, Bruce Lee, and give him a quick prayer of thanks for being an inspiration in his life.  Instead of finding what he expected, his journey through a graveyard brought him face to face with a fundamental truth about himself and the reason for his visit.  The way this writer sees the world blows me away on many levels.  He’s not without flawed views, as the rest of us, but he’s one of the most honest I’ve ever met.  It’s such a breath of fresh air to see that in this day and age.  With the advances in our technology and communication devices, we as a people learn to hide behind more clever and permanent masks.  We used to only wear temporary ones when forced to be in public.  Now that the world has been brought into our homes and every aspect of our lives, we wear continual masks that become so comfortable we forget about them.  Here’s a writer who refuses to wear a mask.The other inspiration comes from a brilliant man, Christian Fennell, who questions the system, fights against the social norms and dares to dance outside the lines of conformity.  I admire him on so many levels.  He’s a devoted and loving husband and father to his family and a mighty warrior in the literary world for his passion. He refuses to be put in a box.  He has a set of short stories that he collects under the heading “On My Way to Sunday”.  I asked him this morning what that byline meant to him and he answered, “I love Sundays.  They will always be associated with fishing and hanging out with family, big dinners, etc.  I write every morning, but Sunday, ‘cause I’m fishing.  So it means I write all those damned stories On My Way to Sunday.”  It seems Mr. Fennell has learned to balance his essential and social self.  He has not forgotten the world is in chaos, but has apparently found his peace in the middle of it.  He doesn’t wear the masks of conformity, but keeps an eye on what’s truly important.  I have no doubt he will one day make it to his ultimate Sunday.  Through these four inspirations, I hope I can do the same.  Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

What You Tell Yourself

I’ve read some inspiring articles lately about how, as the poster above states, what you tell yourself every day will either lift you up or tear you down.  I know this to be a deep existential truth. It’s what’s holding me together at this particular and scary moment in my life.
The world is a harsh place filled with disappointments, broken dreams and heart aches, but it’s also full of accomplishments, adventurous successes, and great love stories.  I’ve asked myself a million times how one gets from one end of the spectrum to the next, from dreaming to the realization of those dreams, from surviving to enjoying life, and I’m learning the key is attitude and having a positive mindset.
According to both of the articles listed at the end of this post, we should remind ourselves of three unique and positive things about ourselves, and list what three things for which we are grateful. No, the world won’t just magically align itself and every wish comes true at the onset of this positive turn, but it’s a beginning, and one I’d like to do today.  According to my faith, I should write my vision down and keep it before me, because if I can see it in my mind, I can achieve it.  So, here I go.
Three positive things about myself:1.    I’m honest. Honestly is a rare today.  The world is full of lies and liars. My honesty often costs me.  I’ve lost nothing to honesty that wasn’t worth losing in the first place.  I make mistakes, but I have no regrets because they’ve been honest mistakes.  I’ve seen what dishonesty does to families, relationships, and self esteem.  Deception destroys a person from within, and liars always get caught.  Nothing good comes from a lie.2.   I’m beautiful.  I’m not a supermodel, an actress, or have a body that would stop traffic or make men drool, but I love the hard work I’ve put into my body. I’m healthy, I’m active, and being that way makes me happy.  Being happy puts a smile on my face, and that smile makes me attractive.  But, my heart, though having been broken, abused, and abandoned many times -yet still chooses to love and not become bitter in spite of it all - makes me beautiful. 3.   I’m a dream chaser.  I don’t let the world dictate to me who I am or what I do, or what I should be. I have dreams and hopes, and no matter what anyone else thinks or says, I do my best, sacrifice what I must, and pay whatever cost, in order to chase my dreams. Believe me, it’s cost me dearly.
And now for the three things for which I’m thankful : 1.    I’m thankful for my children.  They are the treasure of my heart. I love each of them in their own way, and being their mother has been the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done.  I’m not the perfect mother, but I love my children with a perfect love, and they love me.2.   I’m thankful for the opportunity to chase my dreams.  I love writing.  I can’t imagine my life without it.  I’m so thankful that I’ve been able to pursue my dream of publication and have had that dream realized now several times, and know there will be so much more to come. I’m so thankful for the friends I’ve made in this industry.  Writers are unique people, a peculiar lot, and only they can truly understand my passions, my sacrifices, my frustrations, my goals, and my dreams in this area.3.   I’m thankful for my friends.  I know they love me and without them I would be completely lonely.  Someone recently told me that I should become completely independent and get to the point where I don’t need anyone. I’m already there.  I depend on no person for anything – financially, emotionally, physically, or spiritually.  However, I choose my friends. I choose to love them and to want them in my life. I don’t need them and would be just fine without them, but without them I would be lonely and I would miss them greatly. I love them and want them, and am so thankful they have chosen me to share their life.
So, what three positive things can you think about yourself, and for what three things are you thankful?  Come on, I’m sure it won’t take you long to figure those out.  Then, once you do, remind yourself daily of those things every day and watch your world begin to transform into a happier, more successful life.
Till next time,~T.L. Gray
Re: Changing Your Attitude by Tanee at From Fat to Fit Chick - http://fromfattofitchick.blogspot.com/2013/12/changing-your-attitude.html

Three Good Things by Jeff Suwak at The Prague Revue - http://www.praguerevue.com/ViewArticle?articleId=4120