Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 508

March 3, 2012: At this rate, I may need some time off from my time off!

Whew!  I spent much of the day working on the series overview for my SF space opera comic book (hopefully soon-to-be-television series) Dark Matter.  I covered the major story arcs, from the individual backstories to the end of their respective journeys.  I also included various images from the comic book to compliment the fifteen page document.  Only problem now is that the file is a hefty 37.5 mb and not exactly easy to email.  Looks like FedEx might be the way to go.

I sent it Paul's way so he could do a quick pass on it before I send it out and he informed me that he is two thirds of the way through the pilot script he pitched me a couple of months ago.  Damn.  In order to get in all the projects we want to pitch, next time we're in L.A. we may have to stay the whole week.  That's a lot of Ben & Jerry's Red Velvet ice cream!

Also received notes from Ivon on the script for the horror trailer.  Will work on incorporating his thoughts into a revised version.  I'll also have to give that last scene so more thought.  I want that build up and payoff to that final image to leave a lasting impression.  A lasting, unsettling impression.  By the way, Ivon informed me of his purchase of our very first prop: a baseball cap.  Exciting, no?

So I went to the bank yesterday and withdrew some cash.  Among the bills I received was the new Canadian $100 bill and my first impression upon feeling it blindly in my pocket was: "This can't be right.  It must be counterfeit."  As it turns out, the bill's unique qualities are intended to thwart counterfeiters.  It's composed of a polypropelyne substrate and includes some raised ink, transparent text, a metallic portrait, hidden numbers, and two transparent windows (once of which contains a hologram of what I believe is the Millennium Falcon).  Not only is the new polymer bill more durable than the old banknote, but it is apparently far tastier…

Here, buddy. I'm gonna help myself to the contents of the pantry. You didn't see nothing. (P.S. I've trained her to stuff 100 bills into g-strings. The strippers love it!)

Tonight, we're off to have dinner at the Cooper's where we'll watch the final two episodes of Top Chef Texas.  Go, Paul!

Continuing our preview of Dark Matter, here is a sneak peek at the first four pages of issue #3.  The crew reacts to last issue's shocking revelation…

More previews (Secret Avengers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 9, The Strain) ici: http://www.comicbookresources.com/previews

March 4, 2012: At this rate, I may need some time off from my time off!

Whew!  I spent much of the day working on the series overview for my SF space opera comic book (hopefully soon-to-be-television series) Dark Matter.  I covered the major story arcs, from the individual backstories to the end of their respective journeys.  I also included various images from the comic book to compliment the fifteen page document.  Only problem now is that the file is a hefty 37.5 mb and not exactly easy to email.  Looks like FedEx might be the way to go.

I sent it Paul's way so he could do a quick pass on it before I send it out and he informed me that he is two thirds of the way through the pilot script he pitched me a couple of months ago.  Damn.  In order to get in all the projects we want to pitch, next time we're in L.A. we may have to stay the whole week.  That's a lot of Ben & Jerry's Red Velvet ice cream!

Also received notes from Ivon on the script for the horror trailer.  Will work on incorporating his thoughts into a revised version.  I'll also have to give that last scene so more thought.  I want that build up and payoff to that final image to leave a lasting impression.  A lasting, unsettling impression.  By the way, Ivon informed me of his purchase of our very first prop: a baseball cap.  Exciting, no?

So I went to the bank yesterday and withdrew some cash.  Among the bills I received was the new Canadian $100 bill and my first impression upon feeling it blindly in my pocket was: "This can't be right.  It must be counterfeit."  As it turns out, the bill's unique qualities are intended to thwart counterfeiters.  It's composed of a polypropelyne substrate and includes some raised ink, transparent text, a metallic portrait, hidden numbers, and two transparent windows (once of which contains a hologram of what I believe is the Millennium Falcon).  Not only is the new polymer bill more durable than the old banknote, but it is apparently far tastier…

Here, buddy. I'm gonna help myself to the contents of the pantry. You didn't see nothing. (P.S. I've trained her to stuff 100 bills into g-strings. The strippers love it!)

Tonight, we're off to have dinner at the Cooper's where we'll watch the final two episodes of Top Chef Texas.  Go, Paul!

Continuing our preview of Dark Matter, here is a sneak peek at the first four pages of issue #3.  The crew reacts to last issue's shocking revelation…

More previews (Secret Avengers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 9, The Strain) ici: http://www.comicbookresources.com/previews

March 2, 2012: Of pig (pork) buns, getting busy, and Dark Matters!

Akemi: I like Laboratory Retrievers.

Me: Huh?  You mean Labrador Retrievers?

Akemi: Labo-ratory…

Me: Labrador.

Akemi: Labratory…

Me: Labrador.

Akemi: I like Labu-chans!

Last night, Akemi made pork buns the likes of which you're unlikely to find in most chinatowns…

Oink! Oink!

Get your mind out of the gutter, Das!

Well, things are certainly picking up on the creative front – and this after everything I said about wanting to take things a little easier this year.  Just this morning, as a matter of fact, I was considering the prospect of doing a foodie tour of the U.S., hitting about a half dozen cities (San Francisco, Las Vegas, L.A., New Orleans, Boston, Chicago, New York) over the course of a two and a half week period to sample their culinary bests.  It's still doable but I now have a few more things on my mind…

I had that conference call today about our comic book series, Dark Matter.  Apparently, it has sparked the interest of a marquee feature director and his team.  We had a great initial conversation about the prospective series, covering everything from tone and theme to the all-important character dynamics.  They struck me as smart, creative and potentially a lot of fun to work with.  A very promising first step.  My homework this weekend is to polish the series overview and send it their way.

Also today, my agent phoned to gauge my interest in show running a series based on a well-established horror property.  I've been a huge fan of the creator since way back when and am certainly intrigued by the prospect of bringing this to series.  More cautious optimism.  Looks like I'll be extra busy this weekend, reviewing.

Still fiddling with the script for the horror movie trailer (Sorry, Ivon).  I want it to be as tight (and unnerving) as possible and am still undecided on a couple of clips.  I hope to have it done by tomorrow after which it'll be smooooooooooth sailing!

Continuing our sneak peek at the next issue of Dark Matter.  Here are the first three pages of issue #3:

More previews here: http://www.comicbookresources.com/previews

March 1, 2012: Some prelim work on the trailer! Pics from the Stargate vault! Dark Matter #3 preview! Mailbag!

Today, Ivon was out and about, scouting locations for our horror trailer. Kudos to him for coming up with some fantastic, diabolically creepy-looking places – the type of places you would never frequent at night, least of all to shoot something.  While Ivon was on the road, I was on my laptop, working on the script for the 2 minute trailer.  It's pretty close.  Rhythmically, it goes something like this:

- – - …….!-!-!….?….?……!!!

So, whaddya think?  There are two great scenes I could use to cap the trailer and I'm not sure which one to go with.  Both are suspenseful with great pay-offs but the first leaves a lot to the imagination while the second is quite visceral (and might require me to call on the services of a couple of my old Stargate cohorts).  I'm leaning toward the former only because the expenses for this little project are coming out of pocket and the budget is a little tighter than what I grew accustomed to working with on Stargate.

Hey, speaking of Stargate, I was clearing out the files on my old Sony camcorders and came across a bunch of old pics…

I've got thousands of them, mostly unsorted, that I should really go through at some point.

Hey, blog regular, Deni, is raising money for a worthy cause: 100 Doghouses for 100 Dogs Without Shelters.  If you'd like to help, head on over here: http://wishes.causes.com/wishes/445797?bws=fb_stream_wish

To those of you having trouble tracking my comic book series, Dark Matter, at their local comic book store, might I remind you that you can always order copies from here: TFAW.com or digital versions here: digital.darkhorse.com

Continuing our ongoing sneak preview of Dark Matter's next issue.  Yesterday, I posted the first page of Dark Matter #3.  Today, I repost it – along with the second page.  If you haven't read the first two issues, avert your eyes.  Spoilers abound!

For more previews, head on over here: http://www.comicbookresources.com/previews

Mailbag:

kathode writes: "Joe (or any of the Vancouverites on here), have you ever gone to French Made Baking, on Kingsway near the intersection with Main? (I think it's a new place. Maybe just opened at the tail end of 2011?) People rave about their macarons on yelp."

Answer: Thanks for the tip.  To be honest, I've never even heard of it.  I'll definitely check it out next week and report back.

kathode also writes: "I have an extreme weakness for delicious desserts, a là Fratelli's, on Commercial. (Sadly, though, Fratelli's does not produce a cannoli up to my expectations. I don't know why, with the sizable Italian population of this metropolis, I can't find a decent cannoli here. WTF?!?)"

Answer: Hmmm.  Funny you should say that.  Akemi and I just visited Commercial in our quest for pistachio cream.  Alas, no luck.  As someone who grew up in Montreal with its vast Italian offerings, I don't find the Italian population of Vancouver all that sizable.

profmadmax writes: "You never seem to mention ANYTHING Sanctuary related I notice…
Did the Sanctuary team have better foresight to go rogue and create a new medium in your opinion?"

Answer: I never mention Sanctuary because I wasn't involved in the production and it wasn't a show I watched (though, to be fair, my viewing line-up is numbers about a half dozen).  I'm not in a position to gauge the success of their initial online venture, but clearly the fact that they've been on the air for some four seasons is a testament to the hard work of former Stargate vets Amanda Tapping, Martin Wood, and Damian Kindler.

profmadmax also writes: "Are you considering the successful(Sanctuarty)webisode approch to Dark Matter or the as yet unnamed horror project?"

Answer: Nope, not the preferred approach for either project.  Ideally, Dark Matter will be a television series (or mini-series, I'm liking this idea more and more given the property), while the horror movie will be a big screen feature.  That's the plan anyway.

Tam Dixon writes: "Those macarons are impressive! Any other flavors planned?"

Answer: Akemi is mixing the buttercream as we speak.  We might do matcha, coconut, and speculous.

StellaByStargate writes: "Emboldened by your last mailbag, I have one question to ask…and after all these years, I promise it will be my last S/J question ever…had we gotten the 3rd SG-1 movie, would the status of Sam and Jack's post-Threads relationship have been made clear?"

Answer: All I can say to that is that, there's a dinner scene in the first draft of Stargate: Revolution that made it pretty clear that Jack and Sam were, in fact, together.

Samantha Padilla writes: "I never thought of your thinking that Jack and Sam getting together after "Threads" was an AU, is it? Or is it actually a concensus between the SG-1′s writing staff that 'Yep, Sam and Jack are together now, but we just won't make that fact so obvious on screen it's like a pie shoved in someone's face'?"

Answer: Neither AU nor consensus.  There was never a discussion about it among the writers.

February 29, 2012: Dark Matter #3 preview (1 of 6)! Bizarro Alexander M. Ruemelin! Akemi's confectionary creation!

Dark Matter #3. Cover art by Garry Brown. Colors by Ryan Hill.

The third issue of my comic book, Dark Matter, hits the shelves March 12th.  It's a series with action, adventure, suspense, mystery, humor, twists, turns, surprises…but you already know this because you picked up issues #1 and #2 and are now anxiously awaiting the third installment of the four part opening story arc.  You're no doubt wondering how our heroes will respond to last issue's shocking revelation.  Well, if you're REALLY curious, I can offer you a sneak peek of what you can look forward to in issue #3 – or, more to the point, several sneak peeks.  Over the next six days, I'll be giving you a glimpse of what lies ahead for our intrepid crew.  But, just in case you've yet to get around to reading issue #2 (tsk tsk), I've uploaded the sneak peek to the bottom of this post.  Scroll away!

My editor at Dark Horse, Patrick Thorpe, has been keeping busy.  He's overseeing the return of the avenging spirit,  Ghost, in a three-part story that will premiere in the June issue of Dark Horse Presents (#13): http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=37265. Meanwhile, he continues his editing duties on a comic book I really should be checking out: http://battlepug.com/.

The conference call we'd set up on the heels of the intriguing news I received yesterday (re: Dark Matter) has been pushed to Friday afternoon.  Welcome to Hollywood.  It's still quite early in the game but, if this piece falls into place, it'll be a enormous coup for the project.

Speaking of projects, I got together with Ivon Bartok today to talk about the trailer for our horror movie.  We discussed the narrative structure its (we want to tell the story in under two minutes) and its production demands and costs (we want to tell the story in under two minutes without having it cost us a lot of money).  I think we have a pretty solid plan of attack.  Over the next few days, I'll be working on fine-tuning the mini script.  Ivon, meanwhile, sent me some terrific samples of the type of visuals we could use for the trailer.  Creepy and incredibly effective.

"Hansamu" as the Japanese would say. Apparently, he wasn't allowed to wear his Lucchese cowboy boots under penalty of death.

When, in a recent email, Alexander casually mentioned he'd bought a suit, I, naturally, refused to believe him.  After all, this was a guy who, I've long suspected, was actually born in jeans and a t-shirt.  Him in a suit?  No way.  I asked for proof.  So he sent me the above pic.  Hunh. He DID buy a suit.  But why?  My guess is parole board hearing.

Akemi was busy in the kitchen yesterday trying out a new recipe…

Whipping egg whites and sugar syrup.

Making the shells. She elected to go pink(ish).

Baking the shells, then letting them cool.

Sandwich the chocolate buttercream and voila!

One of the interesting things I just learned about the macaron-making process is that you should allow the macarons to rest for 24 hours before serving.  I sampled them freshly made and, while tasty, they were far too chewy.  The shells lacked that diaphanous crispness characteristic of a truly great macaron (They, in fact, possessed the exact textural failings of the macarons Thierry Busset sells at his shop on Alberni).  The next day, however, they were perfect – crisp, airy and delicious.

Today's entry is dedicated to Kathode.  Congrats on the engagement!

And, oh yeah, that first sneak peek of Dark Matter #2 I promised you…

You can check out more of the Dark Matter #3 preview, in addition to sneak peeks at other comic book titles, here: http://www.comicbookresources.com/

Tagged: Battlepug, Dark Horse, Dark Horse Comics, Dark Horse Comics Presents, Dark Matter, Dark Matter #3, Ghost, macarons

February 28, 2012: Jelly on a roll! Projects and such! Mailbag!

Wow.  Two years after the stem cell transplant, my pug Jelly is an all new pug.  This was the same dog that, at one point, could barely stand…

Heard back from my writing partner, Paul, this morning.  He just read the first draft of the horror script and is very enthusiastic about it.  He made a few excellent points, came up with some excellent suggestions, and informed me he wanted to re-read the script a couple of times and give it further thought.  Tomorrow, I meet former Stargate Special Features Producer Ivon Bartok to talk about the script and start envisioning the trailer he's going to shoot for it.  The script is also in the hands of my Toronto nemesis, Tara Yelland.  I sent her a copy a couple of days ago and she turned around some notes in record time, but complained about the fact that the script was unfinished.  Turned out I had sent her an early version that was about 50 pages light!  I mean, seriously.  How can she start studying her lines without a proper script?  Anyway, I sent the proper draft her way and am looking forward to reading her accolades/criticisms/innumerable character requests.

Well, this is interesting.  Just heard from my agent in L.A. who called with some intriguing developments on the Dark Matter front.  Looks like we've got a big conference call later this week to discuss.  Will, of course, keep you all posted.

I needn't remind you all the the next selection in our continuing Supermovie of the Week Club will be Superman III which we'll be discussing Monday, February 5th when guest reviewer Cookie Monster weighs in with his review.

Mailbag:

poundpuppy(Erika) writes: "Hi Joe I know it has been awhile but I have a question for you, you said you saw Jack & Sam together in your AU what about Daniel & Vala are they together in your AU or your mind?"

Answer: Hey, Erika.  Just this morning I was thinking about some of the former regulars I hadn't seen in a while, including you.  How goes?  To answer your question – in my mind, Jack and Sam got together not long after the events of Threads and Daniel and Vala not long after the SG-1 series finale.  But, of course, given that we never saw any of this play out onscreen, my opinion is just that – an opinion, no more or less valid than that of any other viewer.

gforce writes: "One of things that's great about Joe's blog, in this case the Supermovie club, is that I find it encourages me to try things like these movies that I never would have normally."

Answer: Given the quality of the movies we've screened s far, that's not necessarily a good thing.

howdy doo writes: "Are you retired from tv writing buddy?"

Answer: Nope, not retiring – just doing what I should have done last year, something I had always told myself I would do once Stargate ended: taking the year off to focus on my own projects (features, pilot scripts, pitches for an original series or two) and do a little traveling. In addition to going back to Japan, I 'm also considering trips to Hong Kong, Vegas, San Francsico, Paris, and Berlin (to visit my friends Alexander and Sarah).  One of the many great things about those eleven years on Stargate is the freedom it's given me to be able to take the time off, make my own schedule, and, for the first time in twelve years, not worry about deadlines or what's coming up next.

Aussuu writes: "Quick question about the inspiration for the writing of Stargate, particularly the story line of the ancients. I was invited to go see a pre-screening of John Cater this last weekend and couldn't help but see the correlation between the ability to travel between worlds and a superior race that over saw everything. Having not read the books by Edger R Burroughs I can't say for certain, So my question is was there any inspiration taken from Burroughs writing in the creation and continued writings of Stargate?"

Answer: This one's a question for Robert Cooper since he was the one who created and developed the whole Ancient backstory.  I doubt, however, that he was influenced by Burroughs though.

Lisa R writes: "And Joe, you don't know what The Hunger Games is?"

Answer: Sure.  Isn't it Battle Royale with Western actors?

Matt writes: "I started reading Dark Matter and i picked up the first two issue and i was wondering during the creation of the characters for Dark Matter, did you and Paul ever wonder if your work on stargate was going to affect how you developed the characters? such as one character would end up as a Jack O'Neill type character. one character end up as the Carter type? the daniel type? teal'c type?"

Answer: As much as I loved the characters that made up team SG-1, there was never any danger of their personalities bleeding into the characters I'd created for Dark Matter.  I think that both groups of characters are distinct enough, something that will hopefully become obvious as the personalities of the DM crew develop.

Lewis writes: "If the X-Men's Nightcrawler were to walk through an open Stargate would he be able to "transport" his molecules outside of the wormhole while still in the wormhole before reaching the Stargate at the other end? And if he were able to do so, where would he end up? (a random point outer space between the 2 Stargates? the nearest planet? back at the 1st gate/point of origin?)"

Answer: Hmmm.  Interesting question – although I'm not sure I understand the question.  Given what I know about Nightcrawler's teleporting ability, he would be a simple physical form (no different from, say, a Cyclops or aWolverine) in order to walk into the event horizon – at which point we would be demolecularized, transported to the receiving gate, and remolecularized on the other end, back to his physical form.  He wouldn't be able to teleport while in his demolecularized state, much less think.  On the other hand, I'm not sure what would happen if he was to teleport inside the event horizon – and doubt that would even be possible.  Again, I'm not sure how his teleportation abilities work, but I would think he would need some knowledge (or mental picture) of wherever he intended to teleport.  If, for the sake of argument, he was able to teleport himself beyond the event horizon (unlikely, but let's say), I would imagine he would be instantly demolecularized within the mouth of the wormhole, transported, then remolecularized on the other side like anyone else.  The key here is that in order to be transported, he would need to physically reappear when he teleports himself beyond the event horizon.  In Kurt's case, he teleports traveling not by dispersing his molecular structure and crossing to a certain target area but disappearing and reappearing from one location to the next instantaneously.   Or at least that's the way I believe it works.

Sparced writes: "Personally I think Blu-rays killed the entire home video market."

Answer: That's what did it for me.  I used to purchase 4-5 dvd's a week – then, when Blu-ray came out and made my dvd collection obsolete, I just said "Screw it!" and looked to the web for all my entertainment needs.

roger reynolds, Dallas Texas writes: "Joe, I wanted to write and say thank you (!) for what you created in Stargate Universe – i just watched again, the first three episodes – "Air" and am blown away by the musical scoring, the performances of the ensemble of talented actors and the expression of the storyline. The work stands repeated viewing and still impresses."

Answer: Thanks, Roger.  A lot of very talented people worked very hard to produce Stargate: Universe and I'm very proud to have been a part of it.  Hopefully, I'll have the opportunity to work with most of them again in the near future.

February 27, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club! Cookie Monster reviews Condorman!

After terruble Superman films, Condorman a nice change of pace.  Not so much terruble as trooly horruble.  It be movie made for kidz – at a time when kidz not know any better (ie. dat kidz movies could aktually be good).  Also, monster would like to file formal complaint becuz dis not superhero movie. Again!  It more like Slovakian James Bond film.

Our hero, Woody, be comic book writer (hate him alreddy!) who invent superhero: Condorman.  Like most writerz, he like to dress up and akt like charakter from his own book.  Just like George R. R. Martin when he dekapitate all dose homeless men after write Game of Drones. Monster not sure if Woody crazy, stupid, or both, but he know one ting for sure – he damn annoying!  Michael Crawford play part of Woody wit all restrained finesse of mouseketeer mainlining Red Bull.  He like stage aktor hamming it up for de cheap seats!  Should mebbe consider career in theater.

So, when we first meet Woody, he decide to jump off Eiffel Tower in Condorman suit and fly.  But wardrobe malfunktion make him crash into Seine (which, by de way, mean "boob" in French. True.  Me look it up!).  Lucky for him he slowed down by wires holding him up.

Woody be friends with CIA agent who ask him to make sekret dokument exchange wit Russian spy.  Huh?  Becuz Russia demand exchange to be made using civilians.  HUH?  And CIA have to use civilian instead of spy pretending to be civilian becuz…HUH??!!!

Woody meet up wit sexy Russian spy, Natalia.  Vavavavoom!  Monster not kick her out of bed for eating chocolate chippee cookies.  Unless she not share wit monster in which case he kick her out.  Den invite her back when he finished.  Anyway, Woody meet up wit sexy Russian, Natalia. He introduce himself = codename Condorman.  Bad guyz show up.  He beats dem up…somehow.  He good, lucky or both?  Me not sure, but monster know one ting: he still damn annoying!

Spies like dem!

Woody go back to life as loozer.  Den get call from CIA.  Natalia want to defekt.  But only will defekt wit help of Condorman.  Monster know what dat like.  Once, after have Grand Slam breakfast at Dennys, monster not defekt for tree day!  Have to call Elmo to help.  He have to use box of Qtips and entire bottle of linseed oil!

For some reazon, bad guyz don't want her to defekt.  Dey try to stop Woody!

Head bad guy look like he defekting. Udder times, look like he regret losing bet dat force him to be in dis movie.

Like most one-eyed people, he looze de good eye and left wit evil eye. Becuz of eye imbalance, brain shift to pure evil.

Shootoout!  Car chase – which, monster have to admit, not dat bad. Stuntz!  Crashes!  Monster notice dis "kid-friendly" film shot at a time when a-okay to kill off bad guyz.  Dey crash, get blown up, fall off cliff – and iz all good fun!

Ha! Take dat bad guy! And, uh, wife and children you leave behind.

Condorman able to escape becuz his old truck really disguized condorman car wit floaty wings.  How he get all dese gadjets?  Why, CIA gave to him!  American government waste money to build speshul yellow condor cars and condor sootz for civilian fake spies!  Dats why ekonomy in da toilet!  Dats why Cookie's 401k almost worthless and me have to sign up to be  tester for ass fur exfoliator at research lab! Don't get monster started!

Dey get away to Italy.  Crash wedding!

Okay, monster admit he like dis church brawl scene. Mebbe becuz it bring back so many good memories.

Den check into hotel.  English-speaking "Italian" kids rekognize Natalia as inspirashun for comik book charakter Laser Lady!  Sexy Russian spy tink Woody cool.  I repeat: sexy girl tink guy who write comic book cool!  Okay, monster accept fakt dat CIA send civilian wit no training on important misshun.  Cookie accept fakt dat CIA pay for all gadjets for misshun.  But dis a bit of a stretch, no?

Why you Italian kids speak so good English?

Bad guyz kidnap Natalia.  Woody and his CIA friend disguize demself as sheiks and crash party.

Next to Grover's Han Solo outfit, dis second lamest Halloween costume.

CIA buddy set off exploziuns.  How he possibly can hide bombs under his sheik suit?  Never mind dat.  Woody have a little surprize for Natalia hiding under HIS robe…

Tadaa!

Dat's right!  Condorman soot.  Natalia jump on and he giver her ride of her life.

Dey get away.  CIA buddy forgets to put car brake on and car roll into lake.  For some reazon.  Boat chase!  Lasers!  More bad guyz crash, burn, blow up!

Woody save Natalia.  Dey go back to Amerika.  Go to Dodgers game. CIA offer Condorman new assinement! Leave door open for crummy sekwel.

Monster have no problem defekting after dis movie!

Verdikt: So far, udder moviez monster have reviewed for supermovie of de week club aim high and fail mizerably.  Condorman aim very low and fail even miserablier!  Action sekwences and Barbara Carrera very watchable, but rest of movie like watching drunk high school understudy produktion of Ian Fleming's lesser known works. Condorman is for de birdz (me was also tinking about going wit equally witty: "Condorman never takes off", "Condorman crashes" or "Condorman takes giant dump on dis viewer's head").

Also, NOT A SUPERHERO MOVIE!

Rating: 1 chocolate chippee cookie.

Tagged: Condorman, Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster Movie Review, Cookie Monster reviews Condorman, SuperMovie of the Week, SuperMovie of the Week Club

February 26, 2012: Sunday matinee! Tara's tribute to Cookie Monster! Help Kellie help her sister win!

You'll be pleased or indifferent to hear that I finally completed a first draft of my horror script yesterday and sent off versions to Ivon, my writing partner Paul and, of course, my Toronto nemesis Tara who would make either a fantastic lunatic or an equally great hapless victim when it comes time to shoot the movie.  I, of course, feel a terrific sense of accomplishment – that will inevitably fade over the next few days to be replaced by feelings of regret, uncertainty, and a general desire to switch gears and do something completely different like go to chef school or become a professional Warhammer player.  More than likely, however, I'll just end up writing something else – probably that damn pilot script I've been meaning to finish.  Meanwhile, the more I research that historical mini-series, the more I think it will just be too damn expensive to produce and I should instead consider writing that feature about the crime-solving monkeys.

Today, Ivon, Patrick, Lawren and I reconvened to continue our Game of Thrones marathon.

In preparation, Akemi made some caramelized onions and crispy mushrooms. In her Uggs.

Four types of sausages. I browned them, added a little ice wine, reduced, added some chicken stock, then simmered it, covered, for another ten minutes. I hear that browning first is the way to go and that roasting results in less juicy results. Anyone care to weigh in?

We also fried up some oysters and I made my version of oyster po'boy - with fried onions, mushrooms, jalapeno mayo, and kale chips (compliments of Ivon).

I was hoping we could reconvene sometime this week to continue watching but Lawren ruined everything by getting a job.

So, everybody finished watching Condorman?  I'm sure Cookie Monster, our Supermovie of the Week guest reviewer, will have plenty to say on the subject.  Wonder if he enjoyed it more than Superman II?

Speaking of Cookie Monster, check these out -

Tara is apparently the nail art Queen of Toronto and given to posting pics of her latest creations over on her blog. The other day, I asked her if she took requests.  What kind of requests?  I suggested cartoon characters.  She went one better.

In addition to posting pics of her nails, she also posts the occasional amusing story – like this one, for instance, detailing an awkward on-set experience with John McLean himelf, Bruce Willis: This is My Bruce Willis Story

My front and semi-regular blog reader, Kellie Rice, is trying to win her sister tickets to The Hunger Games premiere (which, I assume, is sort of like the Olympics for dieters).  Anyway, Kellie's video is a top 5 finalist and she needs YOUR support.  Head on over to https://www.facebook.com/badassdigest?sk=wall and "like" the Badass: Katniss Everdeen vid.  The gals, I'm sure, will be eternally grateful.

February 25, 2012: Lunch with my former arch-nemesis! It's broken so fix it already! A Supermovie of the Week reminder!

Hey, look who it is!

Why, it's Ashleigh – my former assistant/occasional vegetarian dinner companion/arch-nemesis.  Notice something different about her? That's right.  She's married!

After trying to duck me for the past three months, my persistence (and phone calls at all hours of the night) finally paid off and she agreed to meet me for lunch at a neutral location: Chez Meme, a place we used to order from all the time back when we were working on Stargate.

Just like old times.

We both went with our old favorite, the pear, brie, and walnut on baguette.  Boy, that took me back.  I even ate some of her fries.  It was just like old times!  Anyway, between the sandwiches and the desserts (a creme brûlée for her and a chocolate marquise for me) we covered the recent exciting developments in our lives (my wonderful year in Toronto, her summer as a Qingyi with the Peking Opera).  We also talked Stargate and she mentioned how much she missed Carl. Carl! She sounds like Akemi who spent all of three months with the guy last year and now speaks of Carl with a fondness usually reserved for family members and beloved pets.  I mean, seriously.  WTF?

After lunch, I walked her back to her car (despite three successive attempts to give me the slip) and we discussed getting together on a regular basis.  She suggested I wait for her call.  I countered with two dinners and one lunch a week.  We settled on I would wait for her call.

Ashleigh, dreamily looking forward to our next get-together.

Came across this article the other day: Tech is tarnishing Tinseltown. It's an interesting read but with little in the way of surprises, especially for those of us who, for years, have been discussing the changing face of ratings and profit specifically with regard to Stargate: Universe and the Stargate franchise.  The author talks about Hollywood's recent hard times, the result of plummeting DVD sales and the not-so-coincidental rise of internet streaming services.  And, as much as many in the industry don't want to admit it, it aint gonna get any brighter.  DVD will NOT be making a comeback and attempts to stem online piracy, even if successful, will not  usher a return to the glory days.  As the article points out: "Not one of the media sectors restructured by the Internet or digital technology has managed to rebuild itself to its previous size. Not recorded music, radio, or newspapers.  More and more it looks like it's Hollywood's turn to get a haircut."  The reality is that, rather than force the technology to fit the long-standing paradigm, we need to throw the old paradigm out the window and rebuild by embracing these new technological developments; find a way to exploit and maximize rather than reshape.  The bottom line is consumers value convenience.  They want to watch what they want when they want and – increasingly – how they want.  And whoever figures out the best way to deliver that stands to make a lot of money.

A reminder to all you masochists members of our Supermovie of the Week Club (in which we review and discuss a different superhero-themed film each week!) that our guest reviewer, and Supermovie of the Week Club host Cookie Monster, will be dropping by on Monday to give us his review of this week's pick: Condorman.  I know, I know.  It's been a pretty rough start given that we're screening these movies in chronological order but just think – we'll watch suspect movies like Condorman and Superman III now so that we can enjoy brilliant, more contemporary entries like Daredevil and Elektra later.   So track down a copy of Condorman and take part in Monday's discussion.  After all, you wouldn't want to miss -

THIS!

Tagged: Condorman, SuperMovie of the Week, SuperMovie of the Week Club

February 24, 2012: The boys reconvene for blood, battle, and Vietnamese sandwiches! Ivon and Lulu sitting in a tree…! It aint good news for Cookie Monster!

Love!

My french bulldog Lulu has a crush on my buddy Ivon Bartok.  It's pretty damn obvious the way she throws herself at him whenever he comes visit, sitting on his lap, sneezing in his face, lying down beside him and lovingly passing gas.  Yesterday morning, I told her that Ivon would be coming to visit, just to see her reaction.  "Lulu!"I called, immediately getting her attention.  "Do you know who's coming today?"  A curious cock of her head.  "Ivon!  Ivon's coming."  At which point she vomited.  I kid you not.  At the send of his name, she yakked up a mouthful of partially digested kibble.  Talk about butterflies in your stomach!

In addition to Ivon, we were joined by Lawren Bancroft-Wilson and Patrick Gilmore for a marathon session of Game of Thrones.  I've read the books (well, all except the last one which I've yet to get around to), loved them, and looked forward to the series I'd heard so much about. In keeping with the whole fantasy, swords and sorcery theme, I made Vietnamese sandwiches for lunch.

I marinated some kurobuta pork and boneless chicken thighs for a full day, then seared them off and finished them in the oven.  The run-through sandwich I prepared the night before was undone by the tough buns I picked up from COBS Bread that afternoon, so I picked up buns from my local Safeway instead and they proved far superior.  And, oh yeah, fresh.  Also, my jaw didn't hurt trying to chew them.

Instead of the typical pork pate found in most Vietnamese subs, I went with the bacon jam instead.

A smear of bacon jam, the roasted meat, some of the pickled vegetables Akemi made, top with jalapeno mayo and cilantro and - voila!

Lawren brought dessert.

As did Ivon.

We only got through three episodes before we had to call it a day on account of Ivon having a hockey game.  We'll reconvene and watch another three this weekend- hopefully.  So far, I'm enjoying the show although, for some reason, I seem to remember Jaime Lannister being a lot more likable in the books.  Yes?  No?    Anyway, it looks great, is very engaging, and Peter Dinklage is terrific as my favorite character, Tyrion.

So, what fantasy series would you like to see get the big mini-series treatment?

Patrick and Akemi

Lawren, off to school. Don't want to be late for homeroom!

Oh, and since I'm showing off my latest culinary creations, I would be remiss if I didn't include Akemi's -

Daikon with yuzu and sansho.

Well, it pains me to say it (and, I'm sure, it pains Cookie Monster, our guest reviewer even more to hear it) but Condorman received more votes than Superman III in our impromptu poll.  This means that, next Monday's selection for our Supermovie of the Week Club will be Condorman – followed by Superman III the following week.

Hooo boy! Looks not good!

Tagged: Condorman, SuperMovie of the Week Club