Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 101

February 24, 2023: The Horror Marathon continues with five more horror film bullet reviews!

Hellhole (2022)

In 1987 Poland, a police officer investigating mysterious disappearances infiltrates a remote monastery and discovers a dark truth about its clergy.

My thoughts: Bleak and atmospheric. The plot twists won’t surprise diehard horror fans, but the ending is a devilish delight.

3.5/5

The Offering (2022)

A family struggling with loss find themselves at the mercy of an ancient demon trying to destroy them from the inside.

My thoughts: A familiar supernatural premise with some good, though not wholly inspired original scares. More interesting for its exploration of folklore and family dynamics than its actual horror elements.

3.5/5

Vengeance (2022)

A writer from New York City attempts to solve the murder of a girl he hooked up with and travels down south to investigate the circumstances of her death and discover what happened to her.

My thoughts: Rotten Tomatoes lists it as a horror, but it isn’t. It also lists this as a thriller which, I suppose it is – but barely. Occasionally amusing, with an interesting message at its core, but the mystery element is D.O.A.  And the ending is terrible.

2.5/5

World War Z (2013)

Former United Nations employee Gerry Lane traverses the world in a race against time to stop a zombie pandemic that is toppling armies and governments and threatens to destroy humanity itself.

My thoughts: Some exceptional set pieces, yet the story logic is a little hazy at times and the third act a bit of a letdown. But the biggest knock against this movie is that it’s nowhere near as good as the book.

3.5/5

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

A decades-old folk tale surrounding a deranged murderer killing those who celebrate Valentine’s Day turns out to be true to legend when a group defies the killer’s order and people start turning up dead.

My thoughts: Classic 80’s horror schlock where the local “youngsters” look like they’re in their 30’s and anyone alone in a scene talks to themselves in order to advance the plot. The pervading holiness culminates in an unsurprising surprise twist ending.

2.5/5

Today’s Yes/No…

Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup Dumplings? Yes/Nohttps://t.co/qcwjFgVsEc

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) February 24, 2023

 

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February 23, 2023: Recurring Dreams!

My Top 10 Recurring Dreams:

10) I’m falling.

9) I am suddenly reminded of a really cool car (or two) I bought in the past and somehow have since misplaced.

8) I’m crawling through the narrow crawlspaces of some old building.

7) I am back in high school, heading into an exam I suddenly realize I’ve failed to study for.

6) I’m in Tokyo.

5) I’m in a weirdly familiar Bizarro version of my hometown.

4) One of the dogs has gotten loose and I am scrambling to locate them.

3) I’m informed that because of a test I didn’t take back in high school, I never graduated and, as a result, all of my life’s accomplishments have been rendered null and void.

2) I am reunited with one of my past dogs after discovering they never really passed away and have been alive all along.

1) I’m in Vegas.

And you?  What are some of your personal recurring dream scenarios?

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February 22, 2023: Amazing Covers!

More than a few that caught my eye this week…

Draculina: Blood Simple #1 – cover art by Lucio Parrillo

Vampirella Strikes #10 – cover art by Lucio Parrillo

Gargoyles #3 – cover art by Lesley “Leirix” Li

Immoral X-Men #1 – cover art by Mark Brooks

The Amazing Spider-Man #20 – cover art by Jan Bazldua

Tiger Division #4 – cover art by Creees Lee

Birds of Prey: The End of the Beginning – cover art by Stephane Roux

Lazarus Planet: Omega #1 – cover art by David Marquez, Alejandro Sanchez

Lazarus Planet: Omega #1 – cover art by Ben Oliver

Lazarus Planet: Omega #1 – cover art by Bernard Chang

Lazarus Planet: Omega #1 – cover art by Jen Bartel

Lazarus Planet: Omega #1 – cover art by Lee Garbett

Lazarus Planet: Omega #1 – cover art by Tiago Da Silva

Nightwing #101 – cover art by Travis G. Moore

Superman #1 – cover art by Alexander Lozano

Superman #1 – cover art by Andy Kubert

Superman #1 – cover art by Sebastian Fiumara

Wonder Woman #796 – cover art by Derrick Chew

20th Century Men #6 – cover art by Aditya Bidikar

Killadelphia #28 – cover art by Jason Shawn Alexander

Saga #62 – cover art by Fiona Staples

Damn Them All #5 – cover art by Tonci Zonjic

Dune: House of Harkonnen #2 – cover art by Raymond Swanland

Dune: House of Harkonnen #2 – cover art by Mateus Manhanini

Something is Killing the Children #29 – cover art by Guillem March

Liquid Kill #1 – cover art by Gabriel Iumazark

So, which were YOUR favorites?

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February 21, 2023: Out and About!

Finally dropped off a few of these babies off for digital transfer today.  Starting off with two episodes – Window of Opportunity and Wormhole X-treme.  In approximately two weeks from now, I should have copies of all the footage we shot for both episodes.  Really curious to see what long-forgotten treasures these tapes hold.

We were in the neighborhood, so we stopped off for lunch at one of our favorite Japanese restaurants – Yuzuki.  Akemi went with the grilled squid and veggie tempura, while I – feeling a little more adventurous – opted for the uni and ikura don along with the shirako tempura.

Then, for dessert, we stopped off at Le Genie Bakery & Espresso for two unbelievable tarts – raspberry and pistachio.  I’ll leave you to guess which one was Akemi’s and which one was mine.

Slowly getting back into the podcast swing of things.  Recorded a fun chat with BJ Mendelson yesterday.  Will let you know once it’s up.

Meanwhile, have started uploading some of my more helpful/humorous posts on medium.  First one here, Showrunning 101, along with bio photo taken at a now defunct Chinese friend chicken restaurant:

Today’s Yes/No…

Pancake Tacos? Yes/No
Thanks to @Thogar for the tip
The Pancake Kitchen By Cracker Barrel Introduces New Pancake Tacos: https://t.co/rwFMOh9uOJ

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) February 21, 2023

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February 20, 2023: Stargate SG-1 season 6 concept art and episode insights!

Redemption Part 1

Appropriately enough, Dr. Rodney McKay makes a return visit to the SGC and takes another giant step toward redemption – a process that would be completed by the time he assumed a lead position in the Atlantis expedition.  This episode was also notable for the introduction of the Jaffa Shaq’rel, an otherwise inconsequential but for the fact that the part was initially written for a certain NBA star who, according to Chris Judge at the time, was interested in doing the show.  Well, that never worked for whatever reason and while I won’t reveal the name of the basketball player, it really shouldn’t be that hard to figure out.

Redemption Part 2

Looking back, this was the episode that cemented David Hewlett as a favorite guest star – so favored, in fact, that years later, when we were trying to cast the part of a medical doctor for the new spin-off, Atlantis, he immediately came to mind and Brad and Robert decided: “Screw that!  Let’s put McKay on the team!”. And the rest, as they say, is history.  Also in this episode, the role of Shaq’rel was played by Aleks Paunovic, who also returned to the franchise years later, but in a different role – playing Ronon’s former Satedan buddy, Rakai, in SGA’s Reunion.

Descent

One sequence had Carter and O’Neill trapped in a chamber that was slowly filling with water.  We achieved this by actually doing the opposite.  We lowered the specially designed set into a pool, giving the impression that the water was actually rising.  We shot at Vancouver’s Olympic pool and it was a tough day. Rick and Amanda were very wet and very cold, and had to sport wet suits underneath their clothing to keep warm.  This episode also marked yet another cameo by Director Peter DeLuise, this time offering a tip of the hat to his old show, Seaquest, by playing the part of “Lieutenant Dagwood”.

Frozen

Early in the episode, one of the scientists claims his grandfather was “one quarter Cherokee”.  This was an in-joke and poke at actor Chris Judge who had made the same claim.  Also, at one point, Jack laments having forgotten to tape The Simpsons.  This, of course, paralleled RDA’s love for the long-running animated series. There were many times he would swing by my office to check out the collection of Simpsons talking figures I kept in my office.  Eventually, Rick’s love for the show culminated in a guest appearance by the voice of Homer Simpson himself, Dan Castellaneta – which was soon followed by Rick being asked to guest on The Simpsons.

Nightwalkers

This was one of my favorite episodes of the show’s sixth season simply because it was so different from other episodes we’d done – an old-fashioned small-town alien invasion story.  Loved the gang all decked out in leather.  Vincent Gale, who would later play the part of the cranky Carl Binder Morrison on Stargate: Universe, appears as Agent Cross.  The role of Sheriff Knox is played by the terrific Blu Mankuma, a good friend of the late Don Davis (General George Hammond).  Blu and I shared an affinity for ribs – lamb ribs in particular.  I loved them so much, in fact, that I was “the lamb rib” hotline. Whenever my favorite barbecue joint, The Memphis Blues BBQ Restaurant made a batch, they would give me a call and I’d drive right over.  I remember one night sitting down to a platter of ribs.  So wholly focused was I on devouring them that I didn’t even notice Blue until he was standing right beside me.  “Breathe,”he cautioned.

Abyss

This was a great episode for all sorts of reasons, but chiefest among them was the terrific onscreen dynamic between RDA and Michael.  I know that both of them had a great time, as did Brad Wright who wrote and produced Abyss.  Brad, as the show’s co-creator and longtime show runner, had written some of the best Jack-Daniel scenes in the series, so I was surprised and disappointed when angry fans targeted him.  I thought it immensely unfair given all he had done to build the friendship between the two characters but, this business, it’s often less of “Thanks for what you did for us in the past.” and more of “What have you done for me lately?”.

One issue I had with the script was the idea of Jack being killed, then brought back from the dead.  I thought it opened a can of worms re: memories of the afterlife.  I was told the ship had sailed on that particular subject.  I don’t know if I agree.  I always considered ascension a very different matter, an experience specific to an isolated group.

Shadow Play

No concept art

When Dean Stockwell came to Vancouver to guest on the show, Brad took advantage of the gorgeous summer weather to treat him to a round of golf. Apparently, they spent their afternoon enjoying the game and chatting about Married to the Mob.  Most of the Stargate producers were avid golfers (Brad, Rob, Paul, John Smith, Michael Greenburg) and so, over the course of my many years on the franchise, I had to put up with endless Monday morning chatter about everything from everyone’s weekend scores to rehashings of recent airings on what I refer to as the Old Golf Channel.  It became so annoying for me that I started to follow Japanese Professional Baseball (Pro Yakyu) just so I could interject equally annoying details about teams like the Orix Blue Wave, the Nippon Ham Fighters, and the Yakult Swallows.

Today’s Yes/No…

Sakura Doughnuts? Yes/No
New sakura doughnuts resemble different stages of the cherry blossoms in Japan https://t.co/xoAIvy1pAU via @RocketNews24En

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) February 20, 2023

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February 19, 2023: Suji Sunday!

Wary.

Valentine’s Day family outing.

Out previous visit to Cafe Beatrice.

Getting comfortable.

Throwback pics.

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February 18, 2023: Unusual Deaths – Dying of Laughter Edition!

Today’s Yes/No…

King Yeti the One Pounder? Yes/No
Burger King Japan unleashes King Yeti the One Pounder and all of its cheesy goodness https://t.co/YbfWPFx7vr via @RocketNews24En

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) February 18, 2023

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February 17, 2023: The Horror Marathon continues with five more bullet movie reviews!

Possessor (2020)

An agent works for a secretive organization that uses brain-implant technology to inhabit other people’s bodies – ultimately driving them to commit assassinations for high-paying clients.

My thoughts: A nifty techno-thriller that goes to some pretty dark places in its exploration of morality, identity, and the psychological ties that bind.

4/5

Der Samurai (2014)

Set in a small German village, a bloody game of cat-and-mouse ensues between a young, straight-shooting police officer and a cross-dressing villain with a large sword and a predilection for beheadings.

My thoughts: I suppose it works as a surreal allegory on repressed homosexuality, but as a compelling and/or ultimately satisfying horror movie? Not so much.

2.5/5

No One Lives (2012)

A gang of ruthless highway killers kidnap a wealthy couple traveling cross country only to shockingly discover that things are not what they seem.

My thoughts: It’s all good cheesy fun, but I’d argue these types of movies work best when you have someone to root for. One would argue that’s the Luke Evans character, but his performance is so stiff, his dialogue so cringingly stilted that it’s hard to get on board.

3/5

Knock at the Cabin (2023)

While vacationing, a girl and her parents are taken hostage by armed strangers who demand that the family make a choice to avert the apocalypse.

My thoughts: A surprisingly staid and unscary entry from Shyamalan, devoid – for better or worse – of his trademark closing twist. Still, Dave Bautista delivers a hell of a performance as the anguished messenger of doom.

3/5

May the Devil Take You (2018)

When her estranged father falls into a mysterious coma, a young woman seeks answers at his old villa, where she and her stepsister uncover dark truths.

My thoughts: It’s a pretty basic deal-with-the-devil story, but the wild mix of witchcraft, voodoo, and demonic possession make for one hell of a chaotic ride.

3.5/5

Today’s Yes/No…

Pizza Toast? Yes/No
A visit to the birthplace of pizza toast: Is the original better than all the others out there? https://t.co/IFVtdnCv9H via @RocketNews24En

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) February 17, 2023

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February 16, 2023: Unusual Deaths – Mushroom Edition!

I love wild mushrooms and remember going mushroom-picking with my father.  He would find these Shaggy Manes and pan fry them with garlic and butter.  Delicious.  I’ve never had them since because I hear they look similar to a poisonous variety and am not confident enough to tell the difference.  Today, I do most of my wild musrhoom-eating at restaurant where I can rely on the expertise of knowledgeable chefs.  My mother, on the other hand, has always steered clear as she forever remembers, as a young child, attending the funeral of an entire family who died after eating poison mushrooms.

Speaking of eating…

Sakura Saku Saku Frappuccino? Yes/No
Does Starbucks Japan’s new Sakura Frappuccino taste as good as it looks? https://t.co/xybLdMJRIJ via @RocketNews24En

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) February 16, 2023

Sell!  Sell!

OpenAI's ChatGPT has reportedly predicted that the stock market will crash on March 15, 2023, per BI.

— unusual_whales (@unusual_whales) February 16, 2023

And I believe two sidewinders were used to take down 8 year old Tommy Milsap’s kite over Alaska.

Hobby balloon shot down with a $400,000 sidewinder missile. Money well spent!https://t.co/wECGtsRHv1

— Joseph Mallozzi (@BaronDestructo) February 16, 2023

 

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February 15, 2023: Amazing Covers!

A few that caught my eye this week…

Monica Rambeau: Photon #3 – cover art by Kaare Andrews

Wasp #2 – cover art by Tom Reilly

Timeless 2022 #1 – cover art by Patrick Zircher

3Keys #5 – cover art by Fabrizio De Tommaso

The Last Barbarian #1 – cover art by Brian Haberlin

The Last Barbarian #1 – cover art by Brian Haberlin

Batgirls #15 – cover art by Dan Mora

Vampirella vs Red Sonja #4 – cover art by Lucio Parrillo

Nightwalkers #2 – cover art by Joe Bacordo

So, which were YOUR favorites?

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