Josh Hanagarne's Blog

Interview for BBC Outlook, Podcast Recommendation

Hi all, the program BBC Outlook released a brief interview that I did with them a few weeks ago. You can listen to it here. It covers ground that will be familiar to those of you who have followed me for long, but they did a great job.

Also, I’ve been walking to walk on purpose, even though it’s been a frigid stretch. The reason is just so I have 20-30 minutes per day of uninterrupted time where I can listen to Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History podcast, which has become something of an obsession form. In short, it is a masterful examination of some of the world’s most insane historical episodes. Dan protests that he is “not a historian” but is rather a “fan of history.”

Dan is a historian. There’s no doubt about it. Each series he does is like an audiobook–some run as long as seven hours when you add up the episodes–with all of the boring stuff taken out. His enthusiasm is contagious. More importantly, these stories are useful in understanding how the world works, by dint of understanding how we got to this point.

There are several free episodes, although I’ve gladly paid for the archives. If you want something to start with, the (free) Blueprint for Armageddon series is a masterpiece. After that I would jump into Ghosts of the Ostfront.

Josh

 

The Worst Character Name In All Literature?

Good morning all,

It occurred to me last night when I couldn’t sleep that Henry James, that formidable intellect and author of the masterful The Turn of the Screw, also committed a heinous sin against literature: in The Golden Bowl he named a character Fanny Assingham.

Fanny Assingham!

From my way of thinking, there is no clearer sign that you and I should be gentle with ourselves and laugh off our occasional mistakes. At least we didn’t name a character Fanny Assingham.

I wondered, now jolted from sleep by this vision of Fanny, if it were the worst name in all of literature. Thomas Pynchon has come up with some real groaners, but he knows it and does it for his own purposes and delights. There are plenty of bad names out there. Most are probably just flat-out forgettable.

But are there any worse than Fanny Assingham?

If you’ve got a nominee, please make your case below in the comments.

“Too Tall To Be Gay” and Other Things Overheard At The Library

Associates, it is my pleasure/displeasure to inform you of a few things I have heard at work recently while manning the reference desk. I have a google doc of these stories that has something like 200,000 words at this point, with each story only getting 100 words or so. So, whenever possible, these stories come to you verbatim. Most of them will sound like hyperbole, but as anyone who works here knows, they still fall squarely in the realm of understatement.

Okay:

Quote 

“You’re too tall to be gay.”

“I’m not gay.”

“Yeah right, man.”

Evaluation 

I’ve checked with some friends who assure me that, even if I was gay, I’m not too tall. Some have even been so brazen to suggest that being tall is infrequently not repellent.

Quote

“How wet can my cough get before I have to leave?” (coughs as a demonstration, hoping for reassurance of an appropriate level of dryness”

Evaluation

Hard to say. If you have to ask, you may not be ready for the answer.

Quote

“I’m supposed to meet a prostitute here. Where do they usually wait?”

Evaluation

They usually wait in a big corral of prostitutes over by the drinking fountain. Duh.

Quote

“You work here?”

“Yep. I’m Josh. What’s your name?”

“Oh hell no, I’m not into all that. Hey, you got any bike locks?”

Evaluation

Don’t ask people what their names are. Carry multiple bike locks at all times to placate the lockless.

Quote

“You into green absinthe, tall man?”

“Not really.”

“What about…” opens fly and pulls out a crumpled piece of paper, “…foreign CURRENCY?” He then slapped the back of whatever this foreign bill was.

“I guess.”

“Tough audience.” Tucks dirty foreign bank note back into open fly.

Evaluation

……..

Quote 

“Can any of the librarians put in my contact lenses for me?”

Evaluation

………………!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quote

“I have Donald Trump’s direct phone number. We’re in constant contact. But I can’t find the EPA’s number and he won’t give it to me. What should I do?”

Evaluation

The EPA has several hotlines. I’m not sure why he won’t give them to you.

Quote

“I’m getting texts from Jesus–as in Christ–what should I say?”

Evaluation

Say Merry Christmas.

In summary, I could go on for a lot longer. I wish I couldn’t.

Josh

PS: Thank you all for buying The Dreams of John Weaver yesterday at launch. It did really well in its categories. You are appreciated!

My New Book Is Here!

Hi all, I’m very happy to announce that after two years of work and about a million drafts, The Dreams of John Weaver is finally done. Here are links to the paperback and digital versions.

From the official description:

If you could watch someone’s dreams, would you? John Weaver wakes from a three month coma with the ability to see peoples’ dreams, including those of his father, which reveal the mother John never knew. But the small town of Morgan hosts more sinister dreams than John could have ever imagined. When he discovers who might be responsible for the abduction of five year-old Marion Little, he begins to wish he had never looked at all. Morgan has a secret — an evil brewing at its core. As he struggles to solve Marion’s disappearance, protect the girl he loves, dodge a vicious bully, learn what really happened to his mother, and keep his father safe, John Weaver is about to learn the high price of following his dreams.

If any of you were wondering what to get me for my birthday or Christmas, now’s your chance! Dreams is the first book in a series. If all goes well the next two installments will be out in 2017.

Thank you all for your support and patience. You are appreciated!

Josh

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone

Hi all, Happy Thanksgiving.

I hope you all have things to be grateful for.

Today, I’m grateful for my wife, son, family, and friends (this means YOU).

Find someone you love and hug them tight.

Josh

The Dreams of John Weaver

Hi all!

I’m very happy today to announce the title of my new novel, which will be released in early December.

The Dreams of John Weaver. It’s the first in a series and you’ll get the next two entries in 2017. It’s going to be a lot of fun. Official description is below:

If you could watch someone’s dreams, would you?

John Weaver wakes from a three month coma with the ability to see peoples’ dreams, including those of his father which reveal the mother John never knew.

But the small town of Morgan hosts more sinister dreams than John could have ever imagined. When he discovers who might be responsible for the abduction of five year-old Marion Little, he begins to wish he had never looked at all.

Morgan has a secret — an evil brewing at its core. As he struggles to solve Marion’s disappearance, protect the girl he loves, dodge a vicious bully, learn what really happened to his mother, and keep his father safe, John Weaver is about to learn the high price of following his dreams.

It makes me want to read it. I can’t wait, I can’t wait.

 

Josh

New Book Coming in December!

Hi all, just a quick heads up. If all goes well, in the first week of December, I’ll be releasing a novel that was two years in the making. It’s something really fun, pretty spooky, and something that I’m really proud of.

First in a series!

Can’t wait to show you all.

Josh

Something Nice, Post-Election

Hi all, I just got back from four days in New Orleans for my wedding, and then a

week in Costa Rica.

If you’re reeling from the election results, maybe it will help to see a picture of an extremely stunning bride.

That’s her over there on the right. Apologies for the giant oaf appearing next to her in the photo. It couldn’t be helped.

Whatever you’re feeling today, be patient, be kind, and love each other well. I’ll be doing the same.

The Making of Donald Trump

Hi all, just popping back in quickly during a busy stretch. If you’re following the election–if you’re not, please tell me how you’re avoiding it, I’m jealous–then you’re probably pulling your hair out like myself and most people I know.

One of my frustrations during election season is that there are so many media outlets reporting. Trying to get a comprehensive picture of things can require so much news-hopping that it gets tedious.

That said, if you’re looking for a primer on Herr Trump and haven’t already had your fill, The Making of Donald Trump by David Cay Johnston is a handy read.

The information in it won’t be completely new to anyone who has paid attention to Trump’s history, but it’s kind of nice to have all of the idiocy in one location.

 

The Full Story of that Signed Copy of Blood Meridian

Hi folks, here, as promised, is a longer writeup of the events that led to me getting that signed Cormac McCarthy novel. It also includes a best friends collage. Enjoy!

Chaos! Or, How I Got A Signed Copy of Blood Meridian From Cormac McCarthy