Phil Giunta's Blog, page 49

Book Review: The Wizards of Odd edited by Peter Haining

How can you go wrong with a collection of 25 stories that includes heavyweights such as Ray Bradbury, Arthur C. Clarke, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Douglas Adams, Ursula K. Le Guin, Terry Pratchett, C.S. Lewis, Fritz Leiber, Phil K. Dick, Brian W. Aldiss, Isaac Asimov, Larry Niven, and more?

To be honest, I only enjoyed about half of them. My favorites include:

“The Twonky” by Henry Kuttner – When Kerry Westerfield’s brand new cabinet radio begins walking around the house dictating Kerry’s  every move, he calls in psychiatrist pal Mike Fitzgerald, but this radio is constructed like no other… and it defends itself against anyone who might pose a threat—with fatal results.

“A Great Deal of Power” by Eric Frank Russell – When military scientists create an android assassin to kill top officials and scientists in the enemy’s ranks, they program its mind with a pure hatred of power… but what will the android do when the enemy is eliminated and those giving the orders become the powerful?

“Doodad” by Ray Bradbury – Running from the mob, Gyp Crowell finds himself in a shop called Thingamabobs, Doodads, Whatchamacallits, Hinkies, Formodaldafrays, Hootenannies, Gadgets, and Doohingies. While there, Gyp finds a device that might help him out of his predicament… in ways he didn’t expect.

“Not By Its Cover” by Phil K. Dick – When a special, translated edition of an ancient Latin book is published with animal hide cover, it is quickly discovered that certain passages in the book have been translated differently that in the paperback version, which leads to an astonishing conclusion about the animal hide covers…

“The Rules of Names” by Ursula K. Le Guin – Mr. Underhill lives a reclusive life in the village, practicing his wizardry with often questionable results… until a pirate named Blackbeard arrives with certain suspicions and accusations against Underhill. In response, the old bumbling sorcerer shows his true colors…

“Mythological Beast” by Stephen Donaldson – Norman is a librarian in an age of ignorance when so many among the population can barely read. Norman has a problem when he notices a horn growing in the middle of his forehead. Shortly after, his entire body begins to change into the shape of a creature than cannot be allowed to exist in a controlled society…

“The Adventure of the Snowing Globe” by F. Antsey – A man stops into a toy shoppe to purchase a present and is drawn to a snow globe containing a miniature castle. After shaking the globe, the man is transported to the real castle, meets a real princess being held prisoner by her cruel, oppressive uncle, and finds himself face to face with a real dragon…

“Zaphod Plays It Safe” by Douglas Adams – Zaphod Beeblebrox is hired by the Safety and Reassurance Administration to retrieve items of secretive nature from a crashed ship in the depths of an alien ocean. Despite Zaphod’s increasing misgivings, the authorities assure him that “it’s all perfectly safe”…

“The Odd Old Bird” by Avram Davidson – When the frivolous Prince Vlox indicates to two royal scientists that his property has been frequently visited by a rare bird, the Emperor’s wizard Eszterhazy requests that the prince capture the bird and have it sent to him. However, there is some confusion on the part of the temporary help when the bird is delivered around the same time as the cook was expecting a chicken…

“The Gnurrs Come from the Voodwork Out” by Reginald Bretnor – Quack inventor Papa Schimmelhorn arrives at the local Secret Weapons Bureau determined to demonstrate how his new invention, which resembles a bassoon, will win the war… in the most unimaginable way!

“Captain Wyxtpthll’s Flying Saucer” by Arthur C. Clarke – A pair of hapless aliens land in England on a mission to find and retrieve an intelligent human specimen only to end up incarcerated by the local police as mental patients… until the town drunk helps them escape!

“There’s A Wolf in My Time Machine” by Larry Niven – A time traveller finds himself in a parallel dimension where mankind evolved from wolves instead of apes.

“2BRO2B” by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. – In order for newborns to be permitted to live in a dystopian future under strict population control, someone must volunteer to die. What happens when a married couple is expecting triplets, but could locate only one volunteer?

 

 

 

After Action Report: Chiller Theatre

The interminable rain did nothing to dampen our spirits at the semi-annual Chiller Theatre convention in Parsippany, NJ today. I drove to the con with long time friend, Kevin Miles.

As usual, nearly 100 celebrities turned out, but there were only three on my list and one (Ed Begley, Jr.) cancelled just two days prior. Still, my main reason for attending was Michael Des Barres, perhaps best known as Murdoc, the charismatic, eccentric assassin on the original MacGyver, and Lou Diamond Phillips who requires no introduction, but is currently starring in the hit  TV series Longmire.

I also managed to snag up two more Star Wars figures I’d been looking to add to my collection. We finished the day with lunch at the Clinton Station Diner on the way home.

After Action Report: Philly Non-Sport Card Show

Some excellent finds at the Philly Non-Sports Card Show at the Merchants Square Mall in Allentown today. Two ADPAC Star Wars stickers from 1977 as found in General Mills cereals in Canada at the time, a three-sticker strip from Superman III as found in boxes of Ziploc bags in 1982, and a new 12×18 poster from Topps of the bounty hunters from Star Wars.

Always great to see super talented artist pal Laura Inglis whose art graces the covers of my novels Testing the Prisoner and By Your Side. Laura also recently completed the cover art for my upcoming novella, Like Mother, Like Daughters.

If You Have No Respect For Me, I Have No Time For You

Since I’m already fired up about other bullshit today, I thought this would be an apropos time to discuss this topic.

I’m about to make a request, one that I have never found necessary to make among any other group of people I spend time with. I find it disheartening that I need to even need to broach this subject in fandom, a group that was once renowned for its welcoming, accepting attitude.

Wherever I go in life, I consistently treat the people around me with respect, courtesy, and kindness. I can’t imagine doing anything less. It’s not even about making an effort to do this, it is simply how well-adjusted human beings get along.

In the case of the Maryland con scene as of late, I have not always received such treatment in return. This was the main reason why, in February, I walked out of Farpoint on Sunday morning without a word to anyone and stopped attending conventions so early in the year. To be frank, I was sick of putting up with assholes and YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. You know what you said and you know how you behaved, not just at Farpoint, but at previous cons.

I’ve tolerated it long enough. No more.

So permit me to make a simple and polite request. If the thought even crosses your mind to walk up to me, or yell across a room, with a disparaging, dismissive comment about me, my books, and/or most especially my wife, SAVE IT for someone else who might not be so readily inclined to rip your face off in the middle of a room. Believe me, at my age, I have no inhibitions about doing so. I don’t give a shit anymore.

To put it bluntly, don’t fucking speak to me if you’re going to be a disrespectful douche bag. Go away. Fuck off. Get back in the wind and get out of my face. I have no time or tolerance for you. I don’t give a fuck that everyone else who knows you keeps excusing your behavior as a joke or tolerates it because of your “status.” I don’t care how arrogant and self-important you are. Fuck you. Don’t talk to me.

I hope I made my point clear. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, don’t hesitate to send an email, a Facebook PM, or see me at the next con.

Thank you.

After Action Report: River Reads 2017

Gloomy skies and humid summer temperatures did little to diminish our spirits at the second annual River Reads Book Fair at Prallsville Mill in Stockton, NJ this past Sunday.

Over 40 writers were on hand, selling and singing copies of their books including organizer Brandi Megan Granett and returning participants Kathryn Craft, Kelly Simmons, Kerry Gans, and others. Among the new faces this year were Aaron Rosenberg and Russ Colchamiro from Crazy 8 Press, Heather Hutsell, Carol L. Wright from the Bethlehem Writers Group, and fellow Greater Lehigh Valley Writers Group member, Christopher Ochs.

While the crowd was a bit thinner than the previous year’s event—and I sold only one book—the time spent with friends and fellow writers was absolutely worth the trip!

 

 

Finally, A Place of Honor…

In a previous post, I mentioned that I was just finishing the final home renovation project for the year which entailed removing the last of my home’s wallpaper and repainting. The room in question is one that houses my SF collection, and when I began putting the room back in order, I decided it was finally time to display a piece of artwork that absolutely deserves a place of honor on the wall.

The fabulous illustration you see above was created in 2012 by renown Spanish comic book artist Carmen Nuñez Carnero for my story “There Be In Dreams No War” published in ReDeus: Divine Tales (left), book one of the ReDeus series by Crazy 8 Press. It was a privilege to be published alongside writer pals Aaron Rosenberg, Bob Greenberger, Paul Kupperberg, Dayton Ward, Steven H. Wilson, Lawrence M. Schoen, and so many other fantastic writers in this series.

 

“So Hungry…” For A Terrifying Tale

Ladies and gents, my paranormal short story, “So Hungry…” is now available for your free reading pleasure in the autumn edition of the Bethlehem Writers Roundtable.

When a married couple hikes up Starvation Peak near Las Vegas, New Mexico, they encounter a jarring phenomenon, one that might be related to legends of cannibalism from the days of the early settlers…

Click here to read! 

Book Review: Infinity Two edited by Robert Hoskins

Continuing my recent trend of reading classic speculative fiction anthologies, Infinity Two brings us stories from Poul Anderson, Arthur C. Clarke, James E. Gunn, J.F. Bone, William F. Nolan, and more.  For this reader, the gems of the collection include…

Adam and Eve prepare to restart the human race under strict guidance from God, until Adam starts looking behind the scenes in Michael Fayette’s “The Monster in the Clearing.”

J.F. Bone takes us across the galaxy to a world where humans go into business with a species of cannibalistic, but highly civilized crustaceans. While labor relations seem to be precarious at first, a pheromonal discovery leads to a new and profitable venture in “The Scents of IT.”

Surrounded by technology’s modern conveniences, Sara begins to recall her grandmother’s luddite attitude toward machines, just before every appliance in Sara’s house seems to conspire against her in “The Technological Revolution” by James E. Gunn.

In “The Other Way Around” by Howard L. Myers, a cantankerous Merlin reluctantly takes on a pupil, Raedulf, on his way to Stonehenge. As Raedulf soon learns, Merlin might just be a man out of time…

After surviving a near-fatal accident, a middle-aged man is restored to physical health by a radical series of procedures, one that leaves him in mental and emotional turmoil  in “Legion” by Russell Bates.

“GORF! GORF! GORF!” is the name of the operation when a bullfrog swallows a crateful of experimental growth pellets, eats a Corvette (complete with driver), and traverses 50 miles at a leap! William F. Nolan leads us on a whimsical hunt that includes the military, government bureaucrats, and pellet inventor’s own lovely daughter.

Robert Silverberg leaves us “In Entropy’s Jaws” as we follow wealthy telepath and businessman John Skein on a quest back and forth through time to find the panacea to the psychological breakdown that cost him his career as Communicator. Skein knows his answer lies on a planet with purple sand, blue leaves, orange seas… and a withered skullfaced man with all the answers. Will Skein find the correct world before his fugue episodes destroy him?

Renovation from Hell

“Renovation from Hell” will be the first single from my new band, Drywall Zombies. Now accepting applications for musicians.

I got cowbell covered.

But seriously folks, a zombie is nearly what I feel like after spending the last two weeks working on a room that was supposed to be an easy project: tear down peeling wallpaper, patch where needed, prime, paint, done.

Not so much.

It was little effort to remove the ancient wallpaper. No scraping was needed. However, it left dried adhesive behind that had bonded onto the blue painted drywall like cement. The amount of patching, sanding, priming—often multiple times on two of the walls—was arduous and frustrating to put it diplomatically.

 

As of two days ago, I was finally able to paint two of the four walls that were the least problematic.  There is something to be said for perseverance.

As of today, the final areas of joint compound on the remaining walls were sanded, the final coat of primer applied, followed several hours later by the first coat of paint. None of these walls will have a perfectly smooth finish. There will be rough spots and pockmarks here and there thanks to the damn adhesive residue, but I there’s no way in hell I’m taking another three or four days to patch and sand.

I’ll live with the results and they’re actually not that bad. The room is brighter, with a warm, inviting decor thanks to the new color (Prairie Flower by Clark & Kensington–an ACE Hardware exclusive brand). The work should be done by Tuesday.

During my breaks, I’ve been crafting a new outline for a paranormal short story that I wrote in August and revised twice in September. I loved the concept, but was not happy with certain parts of the plot and the protagonist was rather flat. Earlier in the year, I had struck upon an idea for a different story about a young man who possesses an ability to predict death in a unique way. While renovating, it occurred to me that I could grant that ability to my protagonist in the current story-in-progress, which will imbue the character with much more depth and the plot with another layer of tension.

I look forward to working on this story once the Renovation from Hell is finally finished!

 

Book Review: 13 Great Stories of Science Fiction edited by Groff Conklin

It’s a rare occasion when I enjoy every story in an anthology almost equally. This is one of those times. All 13 tales in this collection are, as the title boasts, great.  I suppose this shouldn’t be a surprise given the talent involved including Arthur C. Clarke, Ted Sturgeon, Poul Anderson, Damon Knight, and others. However, were I forced to choose favorites, those would be…

“The War is Over” by Algis Budrys – Years after an Earth ship carrying an urgent message crash lands on an alien world, the inhabitants construct a vessel to return the message to Earth, though they’re not entirely certain why or even how they learned to build such a craft…

In “Allegory,” William T. Powers offers an entertaining yet frightening glimpse into a humanity controlled by computers and where independent thinking is considered a mental aberration.

In John Wyndham’s “Compassion Circuit,” Janet Shand, a fragile and fretful housewife, is forced to come to terms with Hester, an android servant programmed with emotions. It isn’t long before Janet begins to rely on Hester for her daily care—until she becomes convinced that there is a better way to live through robotics.

Arthur C. Clarke delivers a brilliant send up of corporate guile in “Silence, Please!” To get even with unscrupulous businessman Sir Roderick Fenton, a professor invents a portable sound-cancelling device and sells the patent to Fenton. The professor’s associates are mystified by his decision, until they observe how the devices are used when sold to the public, putting Fenton in the government’s crosshairs.

In Wyman Guin’s “Volpla,” a scientist creates a new, highly intelligent biological species with the ability to fly, speak, adapt, and reproduce. He fabricates a backstory that they had originated on another world and only recently came to Earth. Surely, this gag will spark the intended panic in the zoological community once the creatures are released into the wild. Unfortunately, the biologist’s plan backfires when the Volpla’s take a drastic course of action to preserve their race…

Alan Nelson’s lighthearted “Soap Opera” delivers the hysterical tale of a hapless young member of a soap manufacturer’s advertising team who experiments with skywriting as a marketing tool. “The words vanish too quickly!” cries the company’s owner, sending Everett Mordecai on a quest to find a more permanent solution—one that covers the entire city of San Francisco…

What happens when the government implants a second personality into its citizens, one that forces them to be docile, to be behave contrary to their natural tendencies? In “Analogues,” Damon Knight deftly presents us with this disturbing possibility…

When a homeless man named Ollie swallows what he think is a nut, he suddenly finds his appetite insatiable, no matter how much he eats. After winning an egg-eating competition by consuming over 100 eggs, Ollie is taken to the hospital to be examined. Shortly after, strange foreign objects materialize in Ollie’s stomach, causing intense pain and swelling. At the same time, two aliens arrive after realizing that their matter transfer device is inside poor Ollie. The question is… now what? We find out in William Morrison’s “Shipping Clerk.”

G.C. Edmondon’s “Technological Retreat” brings us the story of extraterrestrial technology run amuck when humans trade simple Earth goods for a device that can instantly repair damage to any surface by making it malleable enough to reshape. It isn’t long before the aliens begin disseminating the device across the planet, with devastating effects on human evolution.

In Ted Sturgeon’s “The Skills of Xanadu,” a haughty scout sent by an advanced alien race lands on the bucolic world of Xanadu. While reluctantly spending time among the primitive “barbarians” of this world, Bril marks them as ripe for conquest. Yet, he finds their manufacturing abilities beyond comprehension. When Bril finally discovers the source of their power in the form of polished stones worn as part of their clothing, he takes one back to his homeworld—where the true conquest begins.