Andrea Lucado's Blog, page 3

How to Squeeze Hope into a Life Ridden by Fear

by Kaitlin Wernet

***

Dear 16-Year-Old Kaitlin,

We’re going to Sea World! Younger self, if we could cross paths at the same time, that’s exactly where I’d take you. We’d sit on the hot bleachers, watching seals wave hello as we welcomed memories of your first time there. You were four and it was the dreamiest preschool school field trip idea imaginable. Wearing your favorite denim jumper, it was finally your turn to experience the whale-shaped ice cream sandwich you’d been waiting for. But that’s not the part that stands out, is it?

Somehow, in the bustle of chaperone herding and sunscreen applying, you found yourself locked in the bathroom alone. All of your friends were outside watching walruses clap their hands and dolphins jump through hoops, but you were sitting on the stained cement floor, hearing the fun but feeling trapped and forgotten.

When you were finally discovered, your teacher was horrified but you were fine, brushing off your knees like you’d purposefully chosen to study tile grout instead of sea animals.

And while I’m happy to report that you haven’t been left in a bathroom since, at sixteen, you will find yourself in your own closet, trapped not by a lock, but by fear. Anxiety is your grown-up Sea World bathroom, keeping you in a dark space while your friends play without you. They will look at you strangely, wondering why you can’t just enjoy the penguins.

You may be disappointed to know that at 25 you still won’t have it all figured out, but I do want to give you a little pep talk about what to expect.

First of all, people are going to tell you a lot of things. They may tell you that the things you worry about rarely happen, that being afraid is a waste of time, or even ask you to stop your anxiety, as if it’s a piece of gum to spit out. This advice, while well-meaning, is about as valid as dating tips from your dental hygienist. Their entirely wrong words at precisely the wrong time will make you feel alone.

Before I go any further, sweet girl, I need you to know that there is nothing wrong with you. This is not a flaw, a malfunction, or a mistake you made. Fear is not a sign of weakness; rather, it’s a sign you’ve been strong enough to love. You’ve been bold enough to lend vulnerability and compassion, to give yourself to things you know you could lose. This is your biggest strength, and man, I can’t wait for you to see the places this takes you. Anxiety will huddle up to the things you adore most, but I hope you’ll remember that love always showed up first.

Although you grew up in church, you’re just learning what it means to open your Bible and believe it for yourself. When you do this, you may be tempted to think that anxiety is due to a lack of faith. You may find it hard to take your fears to a God who allows such bad things to happen. Because you’re desperately afraid of suffering, you’re reluctant to follow a faith that guarantees it. Before today, you’ve always had the Truth to discuss in Sunday School or write in a notebook, but from now on, it is your lifeline. Yes, suffering is unavoidable, but hope isn’t. Please don’t miss it.

As you grow closer to God, you will give Him ultimatums, saying you’ll leave if He lets bad things happen to you. But at the root of all your fears, you’re afraid He will be the One to leave first. The bad things are still going to happen, but He won’t leave you, not for a second. Your worst fears may come true, but the Gospel will ring truer.

And finally, you may not be able to control the darkness, but you can control whether or not you face it alone. Don’t be afraid to go to the scary places that make you feel like the only one, because that’s the only way to find out you aren’t. Because love showed up first on The Cross, loneliness is never the end.

You have a lot to look forward to, and most of it has to do with hope. Keep looking for it. There’s a room for you there, too.

XoXo,

25-Year-Old Kaitlin

P.S. You don’t have to enjoy the penguins, but please eat the ice cream sandwich.

***

I first read Kaitlin’s work at She Reads Truth, and she’s one of those social media follows that I never regretted. Thank you, Kaitlin, for so beautifully putting into words the way anxiety’s grip can feel. Be sure to check out her blog today where she is hosting an English Lessons giveaway! And here’s more info on this wonderful writer, who she is and what she does:

Kaitlin Wernet is a twenty-something who uses too many exclamation points and not enough inside voice. Although her feet are currently planted in Nashville, TN, her heart has a new favorite city every day. With a degree in journalism, an affection for SEC football, and a distaste for parallel parking, Kaitlin spends her days loving people and words until they become stories. A regular contributor to She Reads Truth, she also writes about grace, grief, and the occasional goldendoodle at KaitlinWernet.com.

The post How to Squeeze Hope into a Life Ridden by Fear appeared first on Andrea Lucado.

When You Trust God with Some Things, But Not Everything

[image error]

by Hanna Seymour

***

Dear Hanna,

Last night was a big night for you. It’s taken years for you to get to this point and it finally happened.

You love God. You genuinely desire to seek His will for your life. You try to obey Him, you want to be more like His Son, Jesus. You’re doing all the things you know to do to live a life that pleases Him.

But last night you finally identified a lie that Satan has been feeding to you for years. A lie that he has been working into your heart and mind since you were a young girl. A lie that the enemy must have been convinced would slowly but surely break each chain of trust you and God have pieced together over the years.

You haven’t quite realized the depth of this lie, nor do you even know that it’s a lie straight from the enemy, but you’ve finally grasped it. You finally named it, said it out loud, and confessed it to your Creator.

You thought you fully trusted God. You trust Him in almost every area of your life: your friendships, career, family, your health. But there is one area where you don’t trust Him and you finally realized it.

“I don’t trust You,” you muttered under your breath.

“I don’t trust You,” you repeated a little louder, a little stronger.

“Oh my gosh, I don’t trust You!” you practically shout at the heavens as if your eyes looked up for the first time, becoming aware of the dark, foreboding cloud of doubt hovering over you.

“I trust you in every area of my life. But a husband ? That you would actually provide a man who meets my hopes and expectations? That you actually have a good plan for me? That it will actually be what’s best for me? I don’t trust You.”

First, I want you to know, you are exactly where God wants you. I know you woke up a little shaky this morning. You’re not exactly sure where you stand with God and how you’re supposed to proceed. What does it mean when you realize you don’t trust God and where do you even go from there?

But God has been waiting for you to arrive at this moment. He’s not surprised. He’s always known that you didn’t trust Him with this and he’s been carefully pursuing you, whispering to you, waiting for the moment you see the lie Satan has been feeding you. And that lie is this: God is not trustworthy. It’s his oldest lie in the book, all the way back to his conversation with Eve. You can’t trust God. He’s not trustworthy.

But you know in your head that He is. And you’ve come to realize it’s not He who is untrustworthy, but you who needs to learn how to trust Him completely. And God is pleased. Because now He can finally lead you down a path of trusting Him more and believing in His goodness.

And that’s why I’m writing to you today. If I can impart only one thing to you from your future to your past, it is this:

God is good.

He is eternally good. In every circumstance of your life: in the joys, the sorrows, the disappointments, the hurt, the laughter, the love, the successes, the failures, in all of it, God is always good.

He is always the same level of perfect goodness. He cannot be less good to you in some areas or seasons than others.

Paige Brown said, “Can God be any less good to me on the average Tuesday morning than he was on that monumental Friday afternoon when he hung on a cross in my place? The answer is a resounding no. God will not be less good to me tomorrow either, because God cannot be less good to me. His goodness is not the effect of his disposition but the essence of his person—not an attitude but an attribute. …God will not be less good to me because God cannot be less good to me. It is a cosmic impossibility for God to shortchange any of his children.”

It doesn’t matter whether God brings you a husband or not. The point is that He cannot and will not shortchange you. It may not look how you want or think it should look, but His ways are higher. (Isaiah 55:8-9)

This area of doubt you’ve identified, this is just the beginning. God will gently and kindly bring area after area of doubt that you’ve been hiding in the crevices of your heart before Himself. He will show you where you don’t trust Him. He will show you where you don’t believe in His goodness.

He is not mad at you. He is not disappointed in you. He is eager to take you to a deeper place of faith and trust in Him, where your confidence will not be shaken and where you can proclaim–even amidst the darkest times–that God is always, and perfectly good.

Love and Hugs,

Your Future Self

***

Hanna is a friend from Nashville. We are both preacher’s kids and writers and so, you know, we get each other. I’ve loved following Hanna’s work on her blog and elsewhere for the last few years. Her voice is encouraging and so many of her posts, like this one, speak directly to what I’m going through. You can follow her on Twitter or Facebook or Instagram. And be sure to check out her blog today where she is giving away copies of English Lessons!

The post When You Trust God with Some Things, But Not Everything appeared first on Andrea Lucado.

Notes to Your Younger Self: When You Trust God with Some Things, But Not Everything

by Hanna Seymour

***

Dear Hanna,

Last night was a big night for you. It’s taken years for you to get to this point and it finally happened.

You love God. You genuinely desire to seek His will for your life. You try to obey Him, you want to be more like His Son, Jesus. You’re doing all the things you know to do to live a life that pleases Him.

But last night you finally identified a lie that Satan has been feeding to you for years. A lie that he has been working into your heart and mind since you were a young girl. A lie that the enemy must have been convinced would slowly but surely break each chain of trust you and God have pieced together over the years.

You haven’t quite realized the depth of this lie, nor do you even know that it’s a lie straight from the enemy, but you’ve finally grasped it. You finally named it, said it out loud, and confessed it to your Creator.

You thought you fully trusted God. You trust Him in almost every area of your life: your friendships, career, family, your health. But there is one area where you don’t trust Him and you finally realized it.

“I don’t trust You,” you muttered under your breath.

“I don’t trust You,” you repeated a little louder, a little stronger.

“Oh my gosh, I don’t trust You!” you practically shout at the heavens as if your eyes looked up for the first time, becoming aware of the dark, foreboding cloud of doubt hovering over you.

“I trust you in every area of my life. But a husband ? That you would actually provide a man who meets my hopes and expectations? That you actually have a good plan for me? That it will actually be what’s best for me? I don’t trust You.”

First, I want you to know, you are exactly where God wants you. I know you woke up a little shaky this morning. You’re not exactly sure where you stand with God and how you’re supposed to proceed. What does it mean when you realize you don’t trust God and where do you even go from there?

But God has been waiting for you to arrive at this moment. He’s not surprised. He’s always known that you didn’t trust Him with this and he’s been carefully pursuing you, whispering to you, waiting for the moment you see the lie Satan has been feeding you. And that lie is this: God is not trustworthy. It’s his oldest lie in the book, all the way back to his conversation with Eve. You can’t trust God. He’s not trustworthy.

But you know in your head that He is. And you’ve come to realize it’s not He who is untrustworthy, but you who needs to learn how to trust Him completely. And God is pleased. Because now He can finally lead you down a path of trusting Him more and believing in His goodness.

And that’s why I’m writing to you today. If I can impart only one thing to you from your future to your past, it is this:

God is good.

He is eternally good. In every circumstance of your life: in the joys, the sorrows, the disappointments, the hurt, the laughter, the love, the successes, the failures, in all of it, God is always good.

He is always the same level of perfect goodness. He cannot be less good to you in some areas or seasons than others.

Paige Brown said, “Can God be any less good to me on the average Tuesday morning than he was on that monumental Friday afternoon when he hung on a cross in my place? The answer is a resounding no. God will not be less good to me tomorrow either, because God cannot be less good to me. His goodness is not the effect of his disposition but the essence of his person—not an attitude but an attribute. …God will not be less good to me because God cannot be less good to me. It is a cosmic impossibility for God to shortchange any of his children.”

It doesn’t matter whether God brings you a husband or not. The point is that He cannot and will not shortchange you. It may not look how you want or think it should look, but His ways are higher. (Isaiah 55:8-9)

This area of doubt you’ve identified, this is just the beginning. God will gently and kindly bring area after area of doubt that you’ve been hiding in the crevices of your heart before Himself. He will show you where you don’t trust Him. He will show you where you don’t believe in His goodness.

He is not mad at you. He is not disappointed in you. He is eager to take you to a deeper place of faith and trust in Him, where your confidence will not be shaken and where you can proclaim–even amidst the darkest times–that God is always, and perfectly good.

Love and Hugs,

Your Future Self

***

Hanna is a friend from Nashville. We are both preacher’s kids and writers and so, you know, we get each other. I’ve loved following Hanna’s work on her blog and elsewhere for the last few years. Her voice is encouraging and so many of her posts, like this one, speak directly to what I’m going through. You can follow her on Twitter or Facebook or Instagram. And be sure to check out her blog today where she is giving away copies of English Lessons!

The post Notes to Your Younger Self: When You Trust God with Some Things, But Not Everything appeared first on Andrea Lucado.

The Devastating Effects of People-Pleasing

 

by Sharon R. Hoover

***

“Sure, I can be there.”

Ugh, I did it again. With my undiagnosed-people-pleasing nod, I agreed to help with another event on campus. It’s not that the outreach was wrong but the screams of an overbooked schedule reminded me of my limitations.

Although college was three decades ago, I still recall how time ranked as my most precious commodity. A heavy course load, lab work, ministry involvement, and additional campus life clubs filled every minute of the day. Life careened from class to meetings to social events to more meetings. The conversations and interactions fulfilled my desire to contribute.

Yet, a still quiet voice in my soul remained unsatisfied. Although my juggling act kept me active, purposeful activity felt elusive. Things would be different next week, I would tell myself.

I stepped, however, into too many Mondays only to discover commitments had once again assumed full ownership of the week. I should quit some activities, I’d think. But I didn’t want to disappoint. I wanted to please my friends.

When the pressures overwhelmed, I sought isolation. I would disappear into hidden alcoves of the library. Random desks at the ends of long book stacks provided refuge. Yes, I studied but mostly I savored my place of anonymity. I would emerge from my library cave ready to resume juggling. The facade intact.

But, the quiet voice in my soul remained unattended. Lord, I did pray, guide me into Your ways. But then, I headed out to the next thing on the calendar. Needs never ceased: An outreach for vulnerable children, a new campaign to raise funds for clean water wells, an initiative to welcome new students, etc.

The pace continued into graduate school, work, and marriage. I continued to embrace invitations to join, participate, or lead.

The still quiet voice in my soul continued it’s vigil.

Then it happened. My moment of truth struck unexpectedly.

“You have another meeting tonight?” My young son looked up from his homework as I gathered my purse and keys. The sadness in his eyes sliced through my heart. How could I disappoint my family? I wanted to please them more than anyone else.

It took the birth and raising of my children to expose the motivations to my over-committed life. Although I believed in the ministries and the activities, I realized many of my commitments had resulted from desires to please others. The formula included: one part wanting to be liked, one part not wanting to disappoint, and one part wanting to support a friend.

As I rushed off to support another committee, I began to realize the toll my people-pleasing was taking. My good intentions were crushing my soul. Instead of feeling purposeful, the ever-expanding juggling act stole my joy along with the hours on my calendar. Not only had I been leaving little room for God’s leading, I was now letting down my own family. Something had to change.

The pattern, however, had deep roots in my life. I planted them decades ago when I first yielded to my people-pleasing tendencies in college. Nevertheless, I was determined to alter its influence.

If I could return to my 20-something collegiate self, I would tell me to focus on God alone. The passions and abilities He gave, along with the Holy Spirit promptings, would best guide my choices. The passions of others may unite with my calling at times but their calling is not my calling. The needs to which I am called are finite and specific.

After my son’s question that Winter evening, I became more attentive to the quiet voice of the Lord within my soul. I now pause to hear His guidance before adding more to my calendar. The flattery of invitations holds less weight when I seek the Lord and His will for the minutes and hours of my day.

My desire to please others has tempered. I believe, however, it will always be present. The decades of people-pleasing left its mark on my soul. I will probably always struggle to separate that voice from the voice of the Lord. And yet, through the mess of it all, God’s patience remains. I am becoming, at long last, more attentive to His still quiet voice.

***

I met Sharon in Alaska, of all places, last year during a writing workshop. She was one of those peaceful people you just feel drawn to, and she is also a wonderful writer. I am so thankful she was able to kick off our Notes to Your Younger Self series. My college experience was very similar, always feeling the tension of wanting to do and please and do but also wanting to simply rest in God. Oh, thank you Sharon for your words today. More info about Sharon is below. Be sure to check out her blog today where she is hosting a giveaway for English Lessons!

Sharon R. Hoover is the Director of Missions at Centreville Presbyterian Church (Virginia). She equips the local church to connect with ministry partners worldwide. She also writes and speaks to encourage people in their faith journey. Connect with Sharon on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/SharonRecherHoover/), Twitter (@SharonRHoover) or at SharonRHoover.com. 

The post The Devastating Effects of People-Pleasing appeared first on Andrea Lucado.

Notes to Your Younger Self: The Threat of Pleasing Others

by Sharon R. Hoover

***

“Sure, I can be there.”

Ugh, I did it again. With my undiagnosed-people-pleasing nod, I agreed to help with another event on campus. It’s not that the outreach was wrong but the screams of an overbooked schedule reminded me of my limitations.

Although college was three decades ago, I still recall how time ranked as my most precious commodity. A heavy course load, lab work, ministry involvement, and additional campus life clubs filled every minute of the day. Life careened from class to meetings to social events to more meetings. The conversations and interactions fulfilled my desire to contribute.

Yet, a still quiet voice in my soul remained unsatisfied. Although my juggling act kept me active, purposeful activity felt elusive. Things would be different next week, I would tell myself.

I stepped, however, into too many Mondays only to discover commitments had once again assumed full ownership of the week. I should quit some activities, I’d think. But I didn’t want to disappoint. I wanted to please my friends.

When the pressures overwhelmed, I sought isolation. I would disappear into hidden alcoves of the library. Random desks at the ends of long book stacks provided refuge. Yes, I studied but mostly I savored my place of anonymity. I would emerge from my library cave ready to resume juggling. The facade intact.

But, the quiet voice in my soul remained unattended. Lord, I did pray, guide me into Your ways. But then, I headed out to the next thing on the calendar. Needs never ceased: An outreach for vulnerable children, a new campaign to raise funds for clean water wells, an initiative to welcome new students, etc.

The pace continued into graduate school, work, and marriage. I continued to embrace invitations to join, participate, or lead.

The still quiet voice in my soul continued it’s vigil.

Then it happened. My moment of truth struck unexpectedly.

“You have another meeting tonight?” My young son looked up from his homework as I gathered my purse and keys. The sadness in his eyes sliced through my heart. How could I disappoint my family? I wanted to please them more than anyone else.

It took the birth and raising of my children to expose the motivations to my over-committed life. Although I believed in the ministries and the activities, I realized many of my commitments had resulted from desires to please others. The formula included: one part wanting to be liked, one part not wanting to disappoint, and one part wanting to support a friend.

As I rushed off to support another committee, I began to realize the toll my people-pleasing was taking. My good intentions were crushing my soul. Instead of feeling purposeful, the ever-expanding juggling act stole my joy along with the hours on my calendar. Not only had I been leaving little room for God’s leading, I was now letting down my own family. Something had to change.

The pattern, however, had deep roots in my life. I planted them decades ago when I first yielded to my people-pleasing tendencies in college. Nevertheless, I was determined to alter its influence.

If I could return to my 20-something collegiate self, I would tell me to focus on God alone. The passions and abilities He gave, along with the Holy Spirit promptings, would best guide my choices. The passions of others may unite with my calling at times but their calling is not my calling. The needs to which I am called are finite and specific.

After my son’s question that Winter evening, I became more attentive to the quiet voice of the Lord within my soul. I now pause to hear His guidance before adding more to my calendar. The flattery of invitations holds less weight when I seek the Lord and His will for the minutes and hours of my day.

My desire to please others has tempered. I believe, however, it will always be present. The decades of people-pleasing left its mark on my soul. I will probably always struggle to separate that voice from the voice of the Lord. And yet, through the mess of it all, God’s patience remains. I am becoming, at long last, more attentive to His still quiet voice.

***

I met Sharon in Alaska, of all places, last year during a writing workshop. She was one of those peaceful people you just feel drawn to, and she is also a wonderful writer. I am so thankful she was able to kick off our Notes to Your Younger Self series. My college experience was very similar, always feeling the tension of wanting to do and please and do but also wanting to simply rest in God. Oh, thank you Sharon for your words today. More info about Sharon is below. Be sure to check out her blog today where she is hosting a giveaway for English Lessons!

Sharon R. Hoover is the Director of Missions at Centreville Presbyterian Church (Virginia). She equips the local church to connect with ministry partners worldwide. She also writes and speaks to encourage people in their faith journey. Connect with Sharon on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/SharonRecherHoover/), Twitter (@SharonRHoover) or at SharonRHoover.com. 

The post Notes to Your Younger Self: The Threat of Pleasing Others appeared first on Andrea Lucado.

Introducing: Notes to Your Younger Self

What is an aspect of your faith that you struggled with in your past? Was it doubt, people-pleasing, trust? If you could go back to your younger self who struggled with those things, what would you tell her? What have you learned since then? What has God taught you? What have others taught you? What has experience taught you?

For the next several weeks we are going to be talking about this on my blog. If you could write a note to your younger self, what would it say? English Lessons is largely a note to my younger self. In it I explore my main faith struggle at the age of 22 while living abroad in Oxford: doubt. In the process of writing the book, I unearthed so many truths God has shown me since those angsty Oxford days. This happens in the process of reflection. When we sit down and look at where we are compared to where we have been, we see God’s hand and faithfulness in a way it’s easy to miss if we aren’t paying attention.

Because the book is basically on long note to my younger self, I wanted to bring in other voices for this conversation. So for the next eight weeks, every Monday, I will be hosting some of my favorite writers from the internet here in this space. Each one will talk about what her faith struggles have been in the past, and she will talk about what they’ve taught her. Trust and people-pleasing and God’s love–we will talk about it all.

We’re calling the series Notes to Your Younger Self.

I’m curious, what would you write if you wrote a note to your younger self about faith, belief and God? I wonder if over the course of this series, you might feel encouraged to write a note to yourself as well, to unearth the truths we tend to miss when we’re not paying attention. If you do, I would love to know. I’ll be using these hashtags for the series: #NotestoYourYoungerSelf and #EnglishLessonsBooks. If you feel inspired to write to yourself, whether it’s on your blog or in a Facebook or Instagram post or even a simple note on Twitter, let me know by using those hashtags. I would love to read and share it.

I am so excited for you to glean wisdom from the writers who are about to be on this series. I am also so so excited for you to hear from someone who isn’t me. So come back on Monday morning. We’ll be waiting for you.

The post Introducing: Notes to Your Younger Self appeared first on Andrea Lucado.

English Lessons: A Birth Story (and a Giveaway)

Today is the official release day for English Lessons. I found it hard to think of what to write to mark this momentous occasion on my blog, where the origins of this book can be traced to. So I decided to tell the chronological story of how English Lessons was born. Today is its birthday after all. Why not celebrate by marking the significant events that led to its existence?

English Lessons: A Birth Story

September 15, 2008: I moved to Oxford and spontaneously decided to start a blog. I titled it “English Lessons.” Because I was living in England and working on a master’s in English. Clever, right? My fist post was about what happens in England when you say you want “cream” in your coffee. That began a year of blogging about the English, their culture and what I was learning abroad.

September 2009: I moved to Nashville for my first job as an editorial assistant at Thomas Nelson publishers. I forgot about the blog. Real, adult life hit and it took some time to find my footing. Blogging, and writing for that matter, felt impossible.

May 2010: There was a flood in Nashville that inspired me to write about the city and resurrect the blog. That same month, I began writing a series of lessons about what England taught me about the world and culture and myself.

May 22, 2013 at 8:37 pm: I started a new Word Doc. on my computer. I titled it “Nice, Thin and Modest”—a collection of adjectives taken from a Brené Brown Ted Talk I had recently watched about what women feel most pressured to be.

I thought I would write down some thoughts about what being a woman feels like. Instead, I wrote a story about two friends and a park we visited in Oxford.

At the top of the Word Doc. I wrote this: “I am worried that if I try, nothing will come, but a cut always bleeds, and the blood is always red.” Probably subconsciously inspired by this:

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

-Ernest Hemingway

March 1, 2014: I emailed the essay about the park and the two friends and two other essays about Oxford to my dad. He called me right away after reading them, ecstatic I was finally writing.

Other happenings of 2014 and 2015: I wrote, edited, sent out chapters for feedback. Wrote, edited. Spent a few solitary weekends writing and thinking. Wrote a proposal. Sent it out…

July 15, 2015: I texted friends to come over to my place to sit with me while I signed a book deal with WaterBrook Multnomah. We took pictures (below) and were overly dramatic about the whole thing.

December 2015: I started sending off chapters to the people I had written about to get their permission. I almost puked and had really bad heartburn. I discovered my people-pleasing tendency runs deep and needed to be uprooted. Not everybody was a fan. I removed chapters and characters. It was painful, but in the end, the book is exactly what it’s supposed to be.

February 1, 2016: I turned in the first draft of the book. And, unable to think of a better title, my editor and I agreed that English Lessons would work.

April 13, 2016: Had a major freak out about the book, threatened to quit writing forever and cried on the kitchen floor.

April 14, 2016: Got over it. (I could list many many dates that said this same thing—freaked out, thought about quitting forever, got over it—but I’ll spare you.)

February 19, 2017: Turned in final edits for the manuscript. The writing part was done, and I began thinking about how I needed to tell all of you that this was happening.

May 2, 2017: English Lessons: The Crooked Path of Growing Toward Faith is born.

You will note from the timeline that May has been a significant month for my writing these last few years. I think it is no coincidence at all that the publisher decided English Lessons should be a May release.

You will also note that much like the subtitle, the path toward writing this book was crooked. I did not know it would come about the way it did, nor did I know if it would ever come about. But almost four years after returning from Oxford I was finally ready to sit down and write about it. And in writing I saw that the people I met, the thoughts I thought, and the doubts I experienced had all been leading me somewhere.

If you’ve ever found yourself walking along the crooked path, whether that be in faith or a relationship or something else, English Lessons was written for you. I hope it can be a kind companion for your journey.

Happy birthday, English Lessons. (You took long enough to get here.) Welcome to the world.

 

***

*GIVEAWAY WINNERS: Katrina Epperson, Rupert Hays, Kayley Hibbert

In honor of English Lessons’ birthday, I am giving away three signed copies of the book! All you have to do is answer this question:

What is one trip you’ve taken in your life that impacted you and why?

Reply in the comment section below and you will be entered to win. If you also post your answer on social media using the hashtag #EnglishLessonsBook, I will enter your name twice.

You have until Friday to enter! Over the weekend, I will select a winner and announce it on Monday.*

The post English Lessons: A Birth Story (and a Giveaway) appeared first on Andrea Lucado.

The Book. The Product

Well it’s here. It’s a real life, bound beauty of a thing isn’t it?

I would like to talk about how this all got started. This whole book thing. I want you to know, and I need to remind myself because lately English Lessons has felt less like a book and more like something else. More like…a product.

I realize this now as I reflect on my reaction when the final hardcover edition of the book arrived on my doorstep a week and a half ago. Earlier that day I had just received some disappointing news that a book signing for English Lessons had been canceled. Nobody even really goes to book signings anymore, I know this. But I was still disappointed. It was still going to be a good opportunity. It was a good event to add to my list of book promotional things.

I had dreamed of what it would be like to take the tape off the box of the first case of English Lessons, lift the cardboard flaps, remove the packing paper and see the book for the first time. I knew I would cry and yell for my roommate to come look and then call my parents and then take several pictures of the front cover, the back cover and the interior. I would post about it on social media immediately because I just wouldn’t be able to wait and show everybody that “It’s here!”

Do you know what I did instead? I opened the box, took out a copy, looked at it for a second, set it back down and walked away.

I’ve been blogging since 2008 and writing professionally since 2010, but putting out a book is by far the most vulnerable thing I’ve done in my writing life. For this reason, the news of the canceled signing felt very personal, and I let it discolor what should have been a very joyful moment. Something that is my fault alone, not the book-signing scheduler’s.

Somewhere in the last couple of months I have allowed English Lessons to morph itself from a collection of heartfelt essays I worked very hard on to a product I must deliver to the world in a polished manner.

Between the summer of 2013 (when I started writing English Lessons) and today, I crawled so deeply into the hole of my dream that I lost sight of its original purpose. I think this might be how most dreams work when they finally do come true. We get so deep in that we actually have to ask ourselves why we began the crawl in the first place? And, if I remember correctly, I think it began more as a slow walk, then as a trot and at its climax, a run. So why in this moment does it feel like I am crawling?

It may help to return to the source of our dream, so let’s go back to the beginning of the writing of English Lessons.

In Spring 2013, I sat down at 5:30 on a Monday morning before work to write just for fun. I hadn’t done this in a very long time. A friend had suggested I write something that wasn’t for work or for my blog, just for me. I thought I would write about women’s issues. Women in the church or women and beauty. Something like that. Instead, I wrote a story about two people I met while I was living abroad in Oxford. I wrote about the park we sat in, what the weather was like and what we had talked about. I wrote about how we walked to an ice cream shop. I wrote about what I had worn. Navy shorts and a pink top.

For the next several months I continued to get up at 5:30 in the morning on Mondays and write and all that came out were stories from Oxford. This person and that person. This dinner, that party. That walk, that house. These details and memories I hadn’t thought about in years began to play out in front of me and with joy—because no one would be reading this—I wrote everything I saw and could remember.

I had forgotten how much doubt had been a part of my story in Oxford. I spent so much time there thinking about God and questioning him. I pulled out journals from that year and flipped through their pages in awe of the darkness I wrote about that I no longer felt.

I wrote and I wrote and I wrote. I wrote about the pubs I sat in and how the sun sets late in Oxford in summer. I wrote about an apple tree in my backyard and how I rode a blue bike. Each memory I had led me to a lesson I had learned. I remembered the apple tree, the park, the bike because in those moments I had learned something about God or me or others, and the lesson had changed me.

I collected some of the stories into essay form and sent them to my dad to see if he thought there was something there. I hadn’t felt that much joy from writing since I took a Creative Nonfiction Workshop in college. That semester, I wrote an essay called “Like the First Steep Drop of a Rollercoaster.” It was about a waterfall and a bird’s egg. It was about human control, or lack thereof, and it was about death. Writing English Lessons had tapped me back into that way of explaining the world to myself.

After showing some of it to my dad, I wrote more and more seriously, as if someone would read this one day. I showed it to a handful of others, got feedback. I edited. I wrote a proposal. I got a book deal. Last February I turned in the first draft and this January I made the final changes. And just like that, the word part was done.

What was a book was suddenly a product that would be sold at market.

Last Tuesday I visited my alma mater, Abilene Christian University, to do a reading of the book and talk to a couple of classes. Professor Al Haley, the professor from that Creative Nonfiction class and the Writer in Residence at ACU, had put the entire day together and would introduce me to whatever class or group I was talking with. At the reading that night, he talked about “Like the First Steep Drop of a Rollercoaster.”

The visit was so rich. So full and good. I enjoyed every moment of it and I think I know why: I was remembering that English Lessons is a book. It is not a product. Technically, it’s an object that’s for sale, but at its heart is words, grouped together in such a way that they tell a story of a year, of a girl and of a God.

I cannot forget this. We cannot forget this about our dreams and callings. The second our “side hustle” or “passion project” is monetized or becomes a business, this is our temptation. But we have to fight it. We don’t do what we do to push a product. We do what we do because we can’t think of possibly doing anything else. Because we’ve landed where we knew deep down we were headed all along and just because it’s your job now, doesn’t mean it’s not also your heart.

English Lessons comes out in two weeks. I don’t know what will happen. It could be a drop in the pond. It could be a great big splash. I worked in publishing for five years and while there is some method to the madness, I definitely had more days of madness than method. All I can do now is slowly walk backwards out of the hole, crawl if I have to, and tell myself each morning that this thing I am about to share with the world? At one point it was a book. I let it become a product. I’m going to let it be a book again.

The post The Book. The Product appeared first on Andrea Lucado.

Should You Pre-order English Lessons? Probably. Here’s Why.

So the process of releasing a book is in full swing. This time last year I was hardly able to tell you what the book was about. Now, I can tell you everything! It’s so great.

I don’t know if you’re into pre-ordering books or not. I am, but only for special books. For example, as soon as I heard Arundhati Roy was releasing her second novel, 20 years after releasing her first, I pre-ordered it online immediately.

Pre-ordering ensures you will get a copy in case stock gets low. It ensures you will get a copy in case you forget you were interested in a book once upon a time and then forgot to actually order it when it released. And, in the case of English Lessons, it ensures that get some beautiful, free things.

Before I tell about those, I should explain that you can pre-order English Lessons from pretty much any online retailer:

ChristianBook.com*

Amazon

Barnes & Nobel

THIS IS IMPORTANT: Once you’ve pre-ordered, visit this page on my site: andrealucado.com/preorders

Enter in your information, and you will be redirected to a page where you can download all of your free stuff.

Simply pre-ordering does not automatically send you free things. You must go to that page above and fill in your information.

I’m sure you’re now wondering, What free stuff do I get? Oh, let me tell you.

Designed by my super talented brother-in-law Jeff Jones, three prints are available as a free download when you pre-order English Lessons. All three can be printed as an 8X10 and then the two vertical ones are available as a lock screen for your phone, too.

These prints are of quotes I use in the book. Quotes of people I quote, that is. The artwork in the background was done by Sean Oswald.

“Aslan,” said Lucy, “you’re bigger.”

“That is because you are older, little one,” answered he.

“Not because you are?”

“I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.” – C.S. Lewis, Prince Caspian

“Art is so often better at theology than theology is.” – Christian Wiman

“Always make a practice to stir your own mind thoroughly to think through what you have easily believed. Your position is not really yours until you make it yours through suffering and study.” – Oswald Chambers

I already have one set as a lock screen on my phone and find it very soothing.

Along with those downloadable beauties, you will also get “My English Lessons: An English Lessons Companion Journal.” This was the brainchild of my friend and designer Amy Jo Couchman, and I’m obsessed with it.

The companion journal includes writing prompts for each chapter. If you are a journaler like I am, or simply aspire to be one, you will love this. So much of my year in England was about questions, wrestling with them, writing them out, asking God about them.

So the companion journal allows you to write out and wrestle with your questions too. I pose a question, or two, that relates with each chapter and in the lined space below, you can write out your thoughts. Making the book your English Lessons.

This is a digital download. Print it, staple it, tie it, bind it together, fold it up and stick it in your own journal, or your pocket. Whatever you want. My hope is that this journal will guide you into a deeper knowledge of God and yourself—exactly what living in England did for me.

*ChristianBook.com is offering a free chapter download of English Lessons when you pre-order or purchase the book through their website. That is pretty cool. Basically, if you pre-order order from them, you not only get the free stuff mentioned above, but you also get a sneak peak into the book itself! Order here.

Ok, go here for alllll the pre-order links if you can’t decided where to buy: andrealucado.com/englishlessons

And don’t forget to go here once you’ve ordered, so you can download all your stuff.

That’s all the English Lessons news I have for you today. Don’t worry, I’ll be back. Until then, thank you again for being on the journey.

The post Should You Pre-order English Lessons? Probably. Here’s Why. appeared first on Andrea Lucado.

English Lessons Launch Team: How You Could Be On It

I tell a story in the book about this time in Oxford when somebody stole a battery from me.

I rode a bike everywhere in Oxford. I didn’t have a car, so I depended on that bike to get me from here to there, rain or shine. It was illegal to ride a bike in Oxford without a headlight and taillight. Or, as we liked to call them, “front lights” and “back lights.”

One night I went to a pub and locked up my bike outside. When I came back out, ready to go home, my front light didn’t turn on. After a few minutes I realized someone had stolen one of the two batteries from the cartridge. Not both of the batteries. Not the entire front light. Just one, single battery.

If that is not the strangest theft you’ve ever heard of…

Fortunately, I had a good friend at the time who offered to ride his bike in front of mine to light the way home for me.

“I’ll be your front light,” he told me. And in the weeks that passed before I finally remembered to buy another battery, he went out of his way to make sure I had a light to guide me home.

I needed a front light literally and metaphorically the year I lived in Oxford. It was the darkest my faith had ever been. Suddenly living outside the Bible Belt, away from family and all things familiar, I was forced to ask that question we are all forced to ask at some point: Why do I believe what I believe?

Community was a large part of that year of questioning and doubting. It always is. When the path is dark or blurry, you need a front light to guide the way, to point you in the direction of light. To remind you of what’s true.

Tomorrow is the day we gather a team to help launch English Lessons. I consider everybody on this team a Front Light. By sharing the message of English Lessons you are telling people that they are not alone in their faith journey. You are there with them. We are all here with each other, reminding the ones who need reminding of those truths that they’ve forgotten.

So, I guess I should get to the point.

How can you become a Front Light?

Simply subscribe to my email list in the box to the right.* Tomorrow, March 1, I will send you an email with an application. Don’t worry. It’s not a rigorous application process. It’s really just something to capture all of your information.

There is a limited number of people who can be on the official launch team (though everybody can talk about it as much as they want!), so be sure to subscribe today before the email goes out tomorrow.

If you’re already subscribed, no need to do anything today. You’ll get the email.

What do Front Lights actually do?

Share about the book on your social media channels (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat) or with your team, small group, book club, women’s or young adult ministry at your church.
Share about the book on your blog (but having a blog isn’t a requirement).
Post a review on Amazon and BN.com
Find other creative ways to tell someone about the book and how it has impacted you.

What perks do Front Lights get?

An advance copy of the book*
A hardback copy when it releases in May*
Access to a private Facebook group where the team will gather for updates and news and get to know each other. (Think: Me, gracing you with Facebook Live chats all day long. Just kidding. Sort of.)
An invite to a book launch party in San Antonio, Texas! (Date, time, location…all TBA. But trust me, you’ll want to be there.)

OK, Front Lights, we ready for this? I am most definitely not, but with you around, I feel a whole lot better about it.

(Feel free to ask questions in the comments below and remember, I’m just a girl, standing in front of a brick wall, asking you to be on my launch team.)

 

*A note to my international friends: Because I can’t send you a hard copy of the book or a PDF (pretty sure that’s illegal), I feel like it’s unfair to rope you into all of this. If you want to purchase a copy online and then post about it closer to release date, let me know. You can be on a special “international book launch team.” I just made that up, but I feel like it could be a thing if there are a bunch of you. So just let me know!

The post English Lessons Launch Team: How You Could Be On It appeared first on Andrea Lucado.