'Nathan Burgoine's Blog, page 122

Appearances Matter

I was about to start writing a post about how I’ll be co-hosting an author reading with Jeffrey Luscombe in Montreal when it occurred to me that I’d had a post bubbling in me for a while about author appearances and my experiences as a bookseller (and then as an author) over the last twenty years or so.

So, first off – that first thing. Jeffrey Luscombe and I are indeed going to be in Montreal for Pride, on the 13th of August, at Literary Pride: Open Mic, hosted at Bar Le Cocktail, from 7p to 9:30p. Come for a listen, or – authors – come and read (though pay attention that you have to pre-register to do so), details at the link for the event above.

So, that’s me announcing an upcoming appearance, and I’m really stoked (and I haven’t met Jeffrey face-to-face yet, though I adored his book and “know” him online).

But about that second thing…

Would you all find it of use were I to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly of author-bookstore interactions over the years? Because there have been stellar things, mediocre things, and terrible things – and there are lessons I can pull from all of them that folks might find useful.

Let me know…

Writing Wednesday – Driveby Edition…

Okay, so I’ve got a giant list of things to do today, including re-arranging the entire library, but awesome things happened this week I should mention.

The Novel

Thing the first is the final rough draft of Triad Blood is so very close to being done. I almost don’t feel guilty about not working on it today (my eyes are aching, my head hurts, and I’ve been re-arranging the library for two days since the useless door between the library and a spare bedroom was removed). Seriously, though, I’m about 15k from the end, and that’s 15k of polishing, not writing. So. Very. Happy.

The Short Stuff

I got copies of Discovery, which has my flash fiction piece ‘Entangled’ in it. It’s an anthology of super-short LGBT flash fiction. Which, you can click here to enter a giveaway for, if’n’you’d like (and are in Canada or the U.S.)

Also, I sent away my entry to the next Saints and Sinners Literary Festival‘s upcoming Short Fiction Contest, so that makes two submissions this month I’ve done so far. I feel awesome about that.

But, like I said, so much to do… so I need to run.

(Why does everything always seem to pile on at the same time?)

I haven’t updated my calls list, so I’m going to skip it this week. I’m sorry! I swear I’ll be back on track next week…

And now, back to the library of never-ending reshufflement…

Reasons.

Today, as I was scrolling through Facebook, I found a friend’s post talking about the diagnosis of a serious illness. It was posted in an informative and explanatory way – sort of a “letting you know I’m probably going to be going dark for a while, and also withdrawing quite a bit from my online presence while I focus on this really scary thing.”

Totally reasonable, and – frankly – kind on their part, as no one owes any explanations or warnings when they’re entering a dark tunnel, in my mind.

I typed in a short message letting them know if they needed any help I could accomplish from my zillion miles away, on the off chance, to just let me know, and after I clicked, some of the other comments appeared, and there it was. One of the phrases that drives me absolutely bonkers.

“Everything happens for a reason.”

I have a viscerally bad reaction to this phrase. I know that, so I have to bite back a bit on the response I always want to give (for the record, it’s “Oh, Fuck off!”) In fact, my anger over this statement actually spawned a novella, where I got way more personal than I usually do and let the character be far more me than I normally dare.

Now, I also know the person who posted that phrase, and they’re wonderful. I also know that phrase comes from a good place – it’s certainly not intended to be anything other than a comfort. But having been on the receiving end of that phrase more than once, can I just ask y’all to take a second to strike it from your list of responses to hearing someone is facing a big bad of any kind?

Here are the problems with this phrase as I see ’em:

So dismissive. Seriously. It has zero empathy about what the person is going through, how tough that journey might be, or even how long this badness might take. It skips it entirely and says, “just think how awesome things will be when it’s over!”

It’s full of assumptions. Continuing from that last thought, for one thing, it assumes the bad will end. Some bad doesn’t end – lifelong chronic illnesses, the loss of a loved one – these aren’t things that stop. These might be things that can be endured, or from which there is recovery of a kind, but the reality is they sucked when they were happening, continue to suck as they happen, and can still suck after they’ve happened.

The person facing the bad thing likely doesn’t care about the “reasons.” This is huge. When you’re facing something awful, you’re not thinking about what it’ll be like when it’s over. You’re thinking ‘Shit. This is awful.’ And even if you are using the light at the end of the tunnel to get through it, visualizing said light at the end of the tunnel still doesn’t negate the shit through which you’re slogging to get there. And, again, this assumes there’s a light at the end of the tunnel in said situation that isn’t a train barrelling down at you at top speed. When in the midst of a clusterfuck that life has tossed your way, being told “the sun’ll come out tomorrow!” is as useful as brown shoes at a tuxedo convention.

It’s just not true. Okay, okay, I’ll grant some leeway here. In the situation that set me off this morning, however, I happen to know with 100% certainty that the person involved is an atheist humanist with zero belief in higher powers of any kind. The person who passed along the dreaded phrase, however, is someone I know to have a strong belief in the Judeo-Christian God, and I know that’s where the dreaded phrase comes from in their mind: God would never do this to you without a reason. Here’s the thing: as far as the person to which this crap just happened is concerned, the only reasons that exist in this context are unfortunate biology, shit luck, and entropy. And maybe gravity. And probably physics, I don’t know. You get my drift. Those reasons are zero comfort, they don’t believe in what you’re selling, this isn’t about you, so shut up. Also, something my awesome friend Ruth pointed out is also true: “[L]et’s say everything does happen for a reason. So what? It just might be a lousy reason. Doesn’t explain or excuse the horror of the thing that has happened.”

Disease is not some sort of sport. Death isn’t a shiny challenge to master. Loss isn’t a cosmic test. Those things all just suck. Coming out stronger after isn’t some kind of “reward” you earn.

Understand, I know my experience with PTSD means I have exactly that: experience with PTSD, and a lot of empathy for those with anxiety or depressive disorders. And maybe if I hadn’t gone through the things I went through, I might not have as immersive an understanding of what that’s like. That’s a given – we empathize better with things to which we have some sort of connection or history. Totally.

But that’s not a “reason.” That’s a result. It’s a result of shit luck, awful timing, hatred, some bigotry, and broken bones. I didn’t need to experience that shit in order to learn that surviving awful things is awful and can leave psychological scars. I’m not a moron. I knew that already.

That novella I wrote that came from this single, stupid phrase? It’s about a guy who learns, while he’s dying, that he can shift himself back to key points in his life and potentially make different choices. He has one driving regret – the one that got away. Now, in the original draft of In Memoriam, I included a bashing, but it wasn’t as on-theme as the rest of the story (which as I said is at its heart a bittersweet romance). I also had word-count limits, and it pushed me over. It was the most obvious scene to cut. I think the story is better for it, but the point of that scene, when I originally wrote it, was for the character to learn that had he not been bashed he gained a few good things and lost some bad things but was pretty much the same damn guy he’d always been, only without the trauma. That’s it. He didn’t turn into some sort of asshole because “the reason” behind that shit was to teach him empathy or some bullshit. No, he got bashed and it sucked and he – eventually – managed to get past it and get back to being himself.

That there are positives that can come from negatives is for sure. But that doesn’t make the negatives worth it on some meaningful level. I can pour this crap into stories – and I do, which is where “In Memoriam” came from – but would I trade broken bones for a good story? Not on your life.

So. All this to say when someone tells you they’ve woken up to a world of bad, maybe think a bit before you toss them a cliché message about their pain. Try “That really sucks.” Or “I’m so sorry this is happening to you.” How about, “Of course you’re going offline – do what you have to do, take care of yourself!” Or even better, maybe a “If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.” Those are empathetic. Those are helpful. Those say, wow, that fucking sucks.

Just do me a favour and strike out “Everything happens for a reason” as a response. Even if that person feels the same way you do about some sort of destiny or design, an offer of help or genuine empathy is way more useful. And if they don’t believe as you do, there’s a good chance what you’ve unintentionally said is, “There’s a Crackerjack toy at the bottom of this box full of dog faeces. Start diggin’!”

(I’d go on about how this also translates to crap like, “if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger!” but that’s a whole other rant. Suffice it to say, “no, not necessarily, and shut up,” applies there, too. But enough for one day from me.)

Anyway. Have a great day. I hope there’s no pile of awful you’re facing. If there is, I’m really sorry it’s happening to you. Let me know if there’s something I can do.

Sunday Shorts – “Matthew, Waiting,” by A. C. Wise

I’ve mentioned Fractured: Tales of the Canadian Post-Apocalypse before, and since then, I’ve devoured the entire collection, which was edited by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. In a word, it’s great. It’s got a huge variety (there are many ways the world can end – a plague of bio-tech sleep, alien invaders, climate collapse and rising seas – and even a ghost apocalypse, which I’ll probably talk about another time), and the location of “Canada” doesn’t limit the book at all.

Quite the opposite. There are so many stories that could only be so better told in Canada, and these tales of the “after” are so freaking well done even before you consider the Canuck content that the inclusion of Canada is just the cherry on top. That I’ve actually been to many of the places mentioned in the stories? Awesome – it just adds another shiver to the spine.

I’ve never been to Prince Edward Island, though. The one time I was supposed to go there, weather ruined it (the ferry was canceled).

But I can tell you that after the end of the world, you’ll still want to read about Anne of Green Gables.

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“Matthew, Waiting,” by A.C. Wise

I have a friend I’ve known and worked with for years. She, like me, worked the horror that was Christmas Retail every year and made it through more-or-less mentally unscathed. One year, her mall hired a guy with a whole bunch of musical instruments (read: noisemakers) that he would hand out to a bunch of bored and over-sugared kids, and then head lead them through making music (read: noise). This happened in front of her store, while she was working, and it was torture.

To this, my awesome friend walked to the front of the store and called out, “Needs more cowbell!”

Some people can take something awful and still have fun with it and think about it in a new way. A.C. Wise took an apocalypse and added Anne of Freaking Green Gables! Seriously! Like, this is someone who looks at the end of the world and thinks, Needs more Anne.

I want to be A.C. Wise’s friend. You should, too.

I don’t want to ruin any facet of this story, which is so clever and grounded in a psychology that is as devastating as it is realistic. Taking an iconic piece of Canadian culture and twisting it “just so” into this dark (and yet darkly moving) story was a small stroke of genius in an already solid anthology. It was by far my favourite, and has been the “selling point” I’ve been using with all my friends.

“Post-apocalyptic Canadian Fiction,” I say.

“Huh,” they say, interested, sure, but not sold yet.

“There’s a post-apocalyptic Anne of Green Gables story.”

“What? Really?” Their eyes widen and their fingertips shake, already wanting the book. “What’s the collection called again?”

Such a great story. Such a good anthology.

And poor, poor Matthew.

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That’s it for this week. Until next week, keep it weird, and keep it short…

Writing Wednesday – Smile!

I had to go to the dentist this morning for my six month checkup, and while I hold no residual fears over dentists any more (you can’t have had as much surgery and reconstruction on your jaw as I have and still worry about a filling), it’s still not exactly on my top-ten list of fun things to do.

Sitting the waiting room, there were two other guys. Of course, one started to tell the other a fag joke.

When I was younger, I would have been righteous and political about it. Now I’m just tired of that shit and pissed off. So I said, “You do realize you’re insulting the gay guy in the room, right?”

After that, the waiting room was awkward and silent, like a waiting room should be.

(Also, I felt a wee bit righteous and political.)

But! This is Wednesday, and on Wednesday we wear pink… Wait, no, on Wednesday, I take a moment to hold myself publicly accountable to writing goals.

The Novel

Joining Camp NaNoWriMo to keep myself chugging along through this rough-draft re-write/stitch-together was such a good idea. I owe Kayleigh Malcolm a huge hug for pointing it out to me. I’m somewhere around 37k of the ~68k whole of what is a rough draft I’ll be sending out to beta readers. I’m routinely seeing 6k to 8k days now, as I’m polishing and tweaking, and filling in tiny gaps, but otherwise zooming through the pieces and making the whole.

Guys? I’m almost done!

The Short Stuff

Beta reader for the story I wrote for the next Saints and Sinners Literary Festival was helpful (and kind) – I’ll actually have a story ready to go as soon as the contest opens, for once. I also have a title now, “Sweet William.” She suggested it. Hands up if you’re surprised I had no title?

*crickets, crickets*

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Open Calls I Know About

Torquere Press has quite a few themed submission calls up right now, the earliest deadline for which is July 15th, 2015.

Hidden Youth: Speculative Fiction from the Margins of History – An anthology of YA historical fiction from the point of view of marginalized people; deadline July 31st, 2015.

Solarpunk Dragon Anthology – Think dragons + steampunk + sustainability, diversity, and community; deadline July 31st, 2015.

Threesome: Him, Him, and Me – Matt Bright is editing for Lethe an erotic anthology dealing with one of the more adventurous of trysts, the threesome; deadline August 1st, 2015.

The Engorged Book of Gay Vampire Stories – Reprints of gay vampire fiction; deadline August 1st, 2015.

Unconventional Love – Short romantic fiction that revolves around attending a convention; deadline August 31st, 2015.

Glitterwolf Magazine: Hallowe’en Issue – Dark, queer, weird or horror fiction, poetry, art and photography from (as per usual) LGBT contributors; deadline August 31st, 2015.

Burning Bright – An anthology looking for stories exploring the darker side of Shifter romance; deadline September 30th, 2015.

Bi Guys – Firsthand Fiction for Bisexual Men and their Admirers; synopsis September 1st, 2015; deadline October 1st, 2015.

Ink Stained Succubus – quite a few different calls, including M/f, F/m, M/M, and lots of different genre calls; earliest deadline is September 15th, 2015.

Covalent Bonds – Geeks in Love; deadline December 15th, 2015.

Friends of Hyakinthos – Fantastical gay male-themed stories set during the time of Ancient Greece or involving Hellenism in later cultures; Deadline January 1st, 2016.

Other places to always check include the Lambda Literary Calls of Submission page.

Heard of any good calls lately? Pop ’em in the comments, too.

Dear Teen Me…

Just a quick note to point out that it’s my turn over at Dear Teen Me. If you’ve never clicked on their site before, I warn you – it’s one of those places you’ll lose hours.

The quick version is this: authors write letters to their teen selves.

What would you say?

Sunday Shorts – “Line of Sight,” by Jenn Burke

Having recently watched Sense8, I have to admit, the romantic notion of the whole cop thing is a thing for a reason. Will was pretty hot, and there’s just something about a man in uniform swooping in to save the day. I know, I know, I’m totally caving to a stereotype, and I know most cops are smouldering piles of muscle and sexiness. This is fiction. Allow me my heroes.

Now, an alien cop wasn’t something I’d have considered, myself. But then I bumped into this little novella, and it turns out alien cops? Just as hot.

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Line of Sight, by Jenn Burke

So you’re an alien cop (born of human stock long removed, mind) and your partner (a non-human from a species that thinks humans are kind of pathetic, really, as they can’t control their emotions) has turned out to be crooked. Said crooked alien partner has smacked you down hard and chucked you out in an escape pod and stranded you on the backward planet Earth. It’s been a year. It’s time to admit that no one is listening to your homing beacon. It’s time to decide that this weird planet is your new home.

And it’s definitely time to give in to the temptation in the form of the local bar owner who gave you that job eve though you had no ID at all and showed up out of nowhere about a year ago. The attraction is definitely there – though said bartender also lost his love recently enough that starting something new feels a little bit like a betrayal. In space, the cop had long learned to repress his emotions and keep himself under strict control.

But on Earth? Why not – finally – give in and feel.

Which is, of course, when everything will blow up in their faces. Maybe literally.

This was fun, and sexy, and the science fiction aspect was strong enough without overpowering the narrative. The characters were interesting and well drawn, and I liked where they started (and where they went). More, the conflict that does arise from without (from said science fiction aspect) made sense and was consistent, which I loved. This was a great taste of Burke’s writing, and I’ll be diving into her sci-fi series from here.

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Until next week, keep it short…

Writing Thursday – Wait, what?

Usually I do my weekly writing update on Wednesdays, but it was Canada Day yesterday, so I decided to spend the day with my husband… in our office. It rained all day and the renovations mean we have only the office to really sit comfortably in, so…

Well, anyway, it was nice to spend time with him. Mostly we played video games.

Speaking of Canada – I’m rounding the bend into final draft moment of Triad Blood, and I’m paying close attention to the amount of Canada I’m dropping in there. Given how many people had moments of confusion over “loonies” in Light, I’m preparing for it and trying to be careful with my context. Also, it’s fun to talk about Colonel By Drive, the Chateau Laurier, and the Rideau Canal. I love Ottawa.

Though Anders isn’t a fan of the Glebe.

The Novel

Seriously, guys, I’m almost there. I’m stitching all the chapters together into one file, filling in the tiny gaps that sill exist, and think I’ll be sending it out to Beta folk over the next week or two. I am so excited, you have no freaking idea.

I also joined Camp NaNoWriMo to keep myself chugging along through this rough-draft re-write/stitch-together, and I think it’ll help keep me apace.

The Short Stuff

At the last moment of June, I did manage to send something off. I can’t talk about it because the contract doesn’t exist yet, but I’ve got something awesome planned, and it makes me happy. I also finished a short story and sent it out for someone to give it a read that’s very different in style and tone for me, so I’m hoping to hear back from that. That second story is for the next Saints and Sinners Literary Festival – I’ll actually have a story ready to go as soon as the contest opens, for once.

Speaking of openings…

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Open Calls I Know About

Torquere Press has quite a few themed submission calls up right now, the earliest deadline for which is July 15th, 2015.

Threesome: Him, Him, and Me – Matt Bright is editing for Lethe an erotic anthology dealing with one of the more adventurous of trysts, the threesome; deadline August 1st, 2015.

The Engorged Book of Gay Vampire Stories – Reprints of gay vampire fiction; deadline August 1st, 2015.

Unconventional Love – Short romantic fiction that revolves around attending a convention; deadline August 31st, 2015.

Glitterwolf Magazine: Hallowe’en Issue – Dark, queer, weird or horror fiction, poetry, art and photography from (as per usual) LGBT contributors; deadline August 31st, 2015.

Defying Doomsday – Apocalypse-survival fiction with a focus on disabled characters; deadline July 1st, 2015

Bi Guys – Firsthand Fiction for Bisexual Men and their Admirers; synopsis September 1st, 2015; deadline October 1st, 2015.

Ink Stained Succubus – quite a few different calls, including M/f, F/m, M/M, and lots of different genre calls; earliest deadline is September 15th, 2015.

Covalent Bonds – Geeks in Love; deadline December 15th, 2015.

Friends of Hyakinthos – Fantastical gay male-themed stories set during the time of Ancient Greece or involving Hellenism in later cultures; Deadline January 1st, 2016.

Other places to always check include the Lambda Literary Calls of Submission page.

Heard of any good calls lately? Pop ’em in the comments, too.

Sunday Shorts – “Four Pills,” by Shawn Syms

One of the things about chatting about short fiction on Sundays is that I can dance around through all sorts of anthologies, read for a week, and by no means will I have any shortage of good tales to discuss every Sunday. I’m trying hard not to repeat the same anthology week after week, but there are some – like Nothing Looks Familiar by Shawn Syms is one I know I’ll be revisiting.

Varying the tales in tone and voice in a single-author collection of short fiction can be challenging, but by the time you’re two tales into this collection, you know this isn’t going to be a problem.

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“Four Pills,” by Shawn Syms

Syms has a real talent for character. In a few deft lines of dialog, a thought or two, or even just a descriptive turn of phrase, these wonderful, broken, damaged – and still sublimely sympathetic – characters burst into life for the reader.

In “Four Pills” the main character is an addict, on the edge and hoping to find enough cash to have a good time – or meet up with a friend who can supply the pills needed for a good time – and there’s little that’s going to get between him and the goal.

He is not a likeable man, and yet – with Syms at the helm – there’s empathy enough to involve you. I think that’s what I’ve come to expect the most from a Syms story; these are not people I would trust, nor would I necessarily feel comfortable around them, but I would not regret meeting them. It’s an interesting trick to pull off.

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Until next time, keep it short…

Writing Wednesday – Inching Toward the Rough Draft

Well, it’s not like the noise of the renovation was wonderfully inspiring – though, if I’m being brutally honest, the workers themselves were. Does it make sense that renovators look like models between jobs? It’s certainly not what I expected.

That said, the noise and being trapped in the office with a dog who’d rather not be trapped in the office has been somewhat tiresome, and we’re only three days into it. Whee.

Still, when all is said and done, it’ll be worth it.

The Novel

Writing Wednesday is my way of keeping myself publicly accountable for how far I’m getting on the writing front, and last week was the first week I had nearly zero progress (due to renovation prepwork). This week I’ve done a bit better than that. I’ve tipped over into the last 10% of the rough draft (or likely closer to the last 5%, at this point) and soon I’ll be sewing it all up into one big document for ease of slashing at it with a giant red pen on an actual print out.

Ah, Triad Blood, you’ll live up to your name, I’m sure.

The Short Stuff

If the novel was wounded by the last two weeks, short fiction got murdered. I’ve barely touched any of the short fiction pieces I was working on, and I haven’t sent anything off yet this month – that’s cutting it down to the wire, and I’m nervous about accomplishing the goal of one submission a month that Jeffrey Ricker challenged. So far I’ve been on track, and I hope I can recover enough to send something out for June.

I don’t suppose any of you know of any flash fiction contests? No?

Rats.

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Open Calls I Know About…

The Biggest Lover – Big-Boned Men’s Erotica for Chubs and Chasers; first draft June 1st, 2015; deadline July 1st, 2015.

Defying Doomsday – apocalypse-survival fiction with a focus on disabled characters; deadline July 1st, 2015.

Threesome: Him, Him, and Me – Matt Bright is editing for Lethe an erotic anthology dealing with one of the more adventurous of trysts, the threesome; deadline August 1st, 2015.

The Engorged Book of Gay Vampire Stories – Reprints of gay vampire fiction; deadline August 1st, 2015.

Unconventional Love – Short romantic fiction that revolves around attending a convention; deadline August 31st, 2015.

Glitterwolf Magazine: Hallowe’en Issue – Dark, queer, weird or horror fiction, poetry, art and photography from (as per usual) LGBT contributors; deadline August 31st, 2015.

Defying Doomsday – Apocalypse-survival fiction with a focus on disabled characters; deadline July 1st, 2015

Bi Guys – Firsthand Fiction for Bisexual Men and their Admirers; synopsis September 1st, 2015; deadline October 1st, 2015.

Ink Stained Succubus – quite a few different calls, including M/f, F/m, M/M, and lots of different genre calls; earliest deadline is September 15th, 2015.

Covalent Bonds – Geeks in Love; deadline December 15th, 2015.

Friends of Hyakinthos – Fantastical gay male-themed stories set during the time of Ancient Greece or involving Hellenism in later cultures; Deadline January 1st, 2016.

Other places to always check include the Lambda Literary Calls of Submission page.

Heard of any good calls lately? Pop ’em in the comments, too.