Atlantic Monthly Contributors's Blog, page 997

New Photos Show the Moment Dzhokhar Tsarnaev Was Captured by Police

A police officer who was there the night Dzhokar Tsarnaev was captured has decided to counter the "normalcy" of Rolling Stone's contorversial cover by releasing photos showing the bomber how many would apparently prefer to see him: bloody, covered in dirt, with the red circle of a laser target trained on his forehead. "This guy is evil," Sean Murphy, a tactical officer for the Massachusetts State Police told Boston magazine. "This is the real Boston bomber. Not someone fluffed and buffed for the cover of Rolling Stone magazine."

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Photo: Sean Murphy, via Boston Magazine

Here's what Murphy told the magazine about his motivations for releasing the photos: 

As a professional law-enforcement officer of 25 years, I believe that the image that was portrayed by Rolling Stone magazine was an insult to any person who has every worn a uniform of any color or any police organization or military branch, and the family members who have ever lost a loved one serving in the line of duty. The truth is that glamorizing the face of terror is not just insulting to the family members of those killed in the line of duty, it also could be an incentive to those who may be unstable to do something to get their face on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine.

I hope that the people who see these images will know that this was real. It was as real as it gets. This may have played out as a television show, but this was not a television show. Officer Dick Donohue almost gave his life. Officer Sean Collier did give his life. These were real people, with real lives, with real families. And to have this cover dropped into Boston was hurtful to their memories and their families. I know from first-hand conversations that thisRolling Stone cover has kept many of them up—again. It’s irritated the wounds that will never heal—again. There is nothing glamorous in bringing more pain to a grieving family.

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The photographer, the magazine notes, is also responsible for photographing the funerals of police officers. 

Murphy, like many, want to see people unequivocally designated as an enemy of the U.S. depicted as defeated, disheveled, taken down to size. That, presumably, is why Tsarnaev's image on Rolling Stone, which was a photograph widely used in the media before becoming the cover image, was so striking: it looks like any other cover of any other culture magazine, insinuating that Tsarnaev could be anyone. The new images will give those who wanted it their Khalid Sheikh Mohammed moment with Tsarnaev — the images are reminiscent of the 2003 photo of the 9/11 mastermind shortly after his capture. And while Murphy's photographs certainly put some distance between Tsarnaev and the audience, both physically and emotionally, they will, like nearly any photograph, depend on the interpretation of the viewer to complete their message. Rolling Stone's image's normalcy is uncomfortable, but its eeriness speaks volumes. The new images depict a man, at a distance, defeated. But in them, he is also seen at his most vulnerable. 

Boston magazine says they'll publish more photos of Tsarnaev's April capture in their September print edition. For now, you can see their first selection of Murphy's photos on their site.

       

Here’s Why JP Morgan Is Being Accused of Enron-Style Shenanigans

A little known U.S. agency is trying to wring $500 million out of JP Morgan. What the FERC?!

 

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Not many people are aware of the U.S. Federal Energy Regulatory Commission, which was a minor player before the Enron energy-manipulation scandal led Congress to bolster its firepower in 2005 with new penalties for bad actors. FERC alleges that JP Morgan manipulated energy prices at some old power plants it acquired when Bear Stearns dissolved in 2008, causing California and Michigan to pay $83 million more than they should have for power. If the reported settlement with JP Morgan goes through, it will be the highest fine in the agency’s history.

Here's how JP Morgan could have manipulated energy prices, if the allegations are true:

JP Morgan’s energy sales team would offer a low bid for power from a particular plant a day ahead of the sale, leading state electrical system operators to schedule that power plant for operation. The next day, JP Morgan traders would raise the price of energy from that plant, leading the electrical system operators to choose a different, cheaper bid. But, because the plant was scheduled to operate and then didn’t, it would become eligible for a “make-whole” payment. These payments are designed to recompense power plants that expect to operate but don’t, in an effort to smooth out price volatility. In this case, they apparently allowed JP Morgan to generate a profit on their assets without actually providing electricity.

The manipulating of heavily regulated energy markets through creative price-setting is analogous to what Enron did in the early part of the century with strategies named “Fat Boy,” “Ricochet,” and the always popular “Death Star.” They allowed the company to exploit public attempts to keep the cost of power low with little repercussion, “other than a public relations risk arising from the fact that such exports may have contributed to California’s declaration of a Stage 2 Emergency yesterday,” according to a 2000 Enron memo.

While it’s not yet clear if JP Morgan will settle, reports from inside the bank suggest that management facing extensive regulatory scrutiny wants to get this case over and done with. Barclays, facing similar charges from FERC over electricity market manipulation, is planning to fight the regulator in court.

       

Ballet Is the New Porn, It Turns Out

There has long been a sense of sexuality to ballet, what with all those sculpted bodies gracefully moving against each other. But now, the art form is being openly compared to pornography.

The charge comes from Tamara Rojo, the new head of the English National Ballet. Reports the Daily Mail:

Ballet is like pornography because it is often choreographed by men, the English National Ballet’s new artistic director has said.

Tamara Rojo wants more female choreographers for her company, after saying that because of the many male directors in dance, "Like in porn, it shapes the way you look at things."

The original comments were made in Time Out. They include Rojo saying that men favor "a more physical approach" to dance — as, presumably, to the sex featured in pornography.

If Rojo was trying to get attention, it certainly worked. The Guardian lamented that the porn references occluded the more serious issue of gender disparity in professional ballet, before going on to concede that the "connection between porn and dance isn't entirely random, of course." In other words, it's not about sex. Except that, actually, it is.

Continues Judith Mackrell, who is The Guardian's dance critic:

The puritanism of British and North American cultures means there is a lingering, prurient perception that scantily clad men and women making a frank display of their bodies must automatically be sexual.

It probably doesn't help that a Danish dancer was booted from the Winnipeg Royal Ballet (that's in Canada, by the way) for acting in porno flicks as Jett Black. After that fiasco, one critic argued that "you just can’t take sex out of ballet."

Googling, as we have done in the name of journalism, "ballet and porn" brings up what appears to be a rather robust selection of ballet-themed pornographic videos. These are not the sort of thing, we suspect, to make supporters of the dance form proud.  

       

Your Jokes Hurt Joe Biden's Feelings

Vice President Joe Biden doesn't say for sure whether or not he'll run for president on a GQ profile on Thursday, but you can tell he kind of wants to. With all his hedging to GQ's Jeanne Marie Laskas, he reminds us that despite his propensity to joke and be joked about, Biden's also an ambitious politician. By the way, he does not like the implication of some of those jokes.

He answers the big question this way:

"I can die a happy man never having been president of the United States of America. But it doesn't mean I won't run . . . The judgment I’ll make is, first of all, am I still as full of as much energy as I have now — do I feel this? No. 2: Do I think I’m the best person in the position to move the ball? And, you know, we’ll see where the hell I am."

Hillary Clinton, who hasn't announced whether she'll run, is considered the frontrunner among Democrats. But the Washington Post's Chris Cillizza wrote on Thursday that Biden will "absolutely" run if she doesn't. 

Biden only mentions Clinton once in the interview, and he stops himself short. He starts discussing the 2012 Vice Presidential Debate: "I never speak about anything I don’t know a great deal about. That I haven’t worked like hell for. But that’s not what you’d expect. You might expect Clinton to do that. . . . Well, I shouldn’t. I’m getting — ." The exchange is awkward. Biden may be ready to start talking about running for president, but he's not ready to talk about running against Clinton.

Throughout the profile, Laskas paints Biden as the real deal — an effective politician whose gaffes sometimes, perhaps unfairly, overshadow his accomplishments. Biden is a little defensive about his persona:

"Remember all that talk about the debate? How the other guy"—Paul Ryan—"was supposed to be the numbers guy and knew all the detail? Remember? Listen, I look forward to those kinds of things—"

Yes, Biden was seen as owning Paul Ryan in the vice-presidential debate — but, in part, that was thanks to wild hand gestures. Biden suggests his job puts him at risk for jokes:

"My entire career," he says. "I have never, ever, ever... Like the joke with Barack. Well, not a joke. But to make the point: When he offered me the job, I said, 'I'm not wearing any funny hats.'"

Laskas suggests that, despite the cheery demeanor, Biden does not like that he has made it all the way to Vice President of the United States, and yet here he is, "sitting here twirling his glasses, having to defend the depth of his own intellect." Biden stuttered as a kid, and once gave a speech to a National Stuttering Association convention, saying the affliction is "insidious" because of the assumptions people make about your character: "We're slow. We don't have confidence. We don't have any strength. We're just not very bright."

The interview did not change the Internet's response to Biden. People made GIFs in response:

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Buzzfeed's Dorsey Shaw started the GIF-ing and encouraged readers to jump on the bandwagon, which they did. Internet memes aside, Biden did address his famous "candor":

"Were I president, I would be no different than I am now. I remember being asked by Brian Williams, you know, was my candor going to cause me trouble internationally? Have you ever seen a foreign leader who didn't take me seriously?"

To date, Biden's jokes haven't caused any international incidents.

       

J.K. Rowling Is Not Happy with the Law Firm That Leaked Her Secret

After this week's literary revelations, Edward Snowden may not be the only leaker on the run after spilling the secrets of the powerful and unforgiving.

We kid. But seriously, J.K. Rowling—or "Robert Galbraith," as she deemed herself in her latest literary endeavor—is not too happy with Russells, the British law firm that turns out to be responsible for leaking the news of Robert Galbraith's secret identity.

As the Associated Press explains, it was Chris Gossage, a partner in the law firm, who shared the secret with his wife's best friend, Judith Callegari, who tipped off The Sunday Times in a tweet before mysteriously deleting her Twitter account. The frenzy kicked off from there, landing The Cuckoo's Calling, the debut novel by "Galbraith," at the top of Amazon's best-seller list after a Sunday Times editor confirmed the information. Reports indicate that Callegari, meanwhile, is seeking temporary asylum in Russia not responding to requests for comment.

Russells has "apologize[d] unreservedly" to the author, but Rowling is not pleased:

Rowling said that "only a tiny number of people knew my pseudonym and it has not been pleasant to wonder for days how a woman whom I had never heard of prior to Sunday night could have found out something that many of my oldest friends did not know."

"To say that I am disappointed is an understatement," she added. "I had assumed that I could expect total confidentiality from Russells, a reputable professional firm, and I feel very angry that my trust turned out to be misplaced."

In its statement, Russells made explicitly clear that the leak "was not part of any marketing plan and that neither J.K. Rowling, her agent nor publishers were in any way involved." That concludes several days of speculation that Rowling's party had secretly masterminded the leak, an allegation this publication addressed yesterday while providing a how-to guide for famous writers interested in writing under a pseudonym. Rowling's mistake, it seems, was letting one too many people in on the secret—and there's no indication of why this information was shared with the Russells partner in the first place.

Still, her publisher can't be too upset. The book is selling like wild. Bookstores are scrambling to catch up, and signed editions are going for hundreds on eBay. Richard Davies, publicity manager for AbeBooks.com, told The Atlantic Wire in an email that a first edition signed by "Robert Galbraith" sold for $4,453. 

"Yesterday two unsigned first editions sold for $907 each," Davies wrote. "Three other first editions have also sold for prices in excess of $500 this week. AbeBooks had not sold a single copy of this book before the weekend."

If the story of Stephen King and Richard Bachman indicates anything, a sleuthing fan probably would have discovered Rowling's secret eventually. Given, especially, the world of obsessive Harry Potter fan forums, that much seems inevitable. But it could have taken years rather than months, and maybe, as in Stephen King's case, that fan would have asked Rowling's permission before spilling her secret. We doubt it, though.

       

The 'Ender's Game' Director and Star Aren't Playing Nice With Orson Scott Card

Leading up to their Comic-Con panel today, the team behind Ender's Game is, naturally, doing a lot to promote their movie. There's a new teaser out and a fan experience takes you to the film's battle school in a theme park-esque way. But despite all the fanfare, the movie is coming to Comic-Con at a disadvantage: having to face the growing concern over Orson Scott Card's homophobic views. It's nice to know that in an interview with the Associated Press' Chris Talbott the movie's star, Asa Butterfield, and director, Gavin Hood, challenge Card's views.

The movement against the film gathered steam last week when a number of news organization picked up on the Geeks Out plan to boycott, which actually has been around since the trailer debuted in May. Card, whose novel was published in 1985, issued a statement to Entertainment Weekly, ironically asking for "tolerance." Card is a devout Mormon who was a board member of the National Organization for Marriage. 

In Talbott's interviews Hood, who explains that he is a member of the Courage Campaign, and Butterfield try to counter the notion that the book is the author, with Hood explaining that he think's it's "slightly bitterly ironic" that themes Talbott describes as compassion and kindness  "are not carried through on [Card's] particular view on gay marriage." Meanwhile, 16-year-old Butterfield said he agrees "with rights for everybody," but "you can't blame a work for its author."

Hood and Butterfield are walking the fine line they need to, and doing themselves and their film a service by not trying to quash the discussion completely. They can't diss the source material, since they made an entire movie about it, after all. But they can present themselves in opposition to the author, who, by the way, does have a producing credit on the film. They are not, at least in this article, disavowing Card's role in writing the book. That's the direction the marketing is taking, Graeme McMillan at The Hollywood Reporter noted.

Hood, Butterfield, and, yes, even Card are likely hoping that the Comic-Con coverage focuses more on whether fans think the filmmakers got the book's details right. Summit has given fans plenty to analyze, from the costumes and gadgets of the fan experience to the new footage revealed in this Battle School "recruitment video." 

We'll see where the attention is focused at their afternoon panel. 

       

Detroit Files For Bankruptcy—With Fingers Crossed

The city of Detroit has filed for Chapter 9 bankruptcy, according to the Associated Press, completing the city's long, slow economic slide and marking the largest municipal bankruptcy in history. Doing so only addresses one of the city's problems, though, suggesting that it has almost certainly not hit rock bottom.

According to the Free Press, the city owes $18.5 billion to creditors, including its public employee pensions. If you're curious (as we were), what would happen if each of the city's 701,475 residents took their $13,965 annual per capita income (!) and gave it to the city to retire that debt, the answer is that it would still take two years before it was retired.

Which is precisely the problem. From a peak population of 1.8 million in the 1950 Census, the city emptied. To oversimplify, the people left in concert with (though not only because of) the decline of the manufacturing industry, including automobiles. With that industry went higher-paying jobs. For the city, fewer people meant fewer collected taxes. Meanwhile, the population aged. City workers moved into retirement, expecting that the pensions that were part of their contracts would help provide for them. Less in taxes, more in obligations, a smaller, poorer tax base. Again: oversimplified. But in summary, this is Detroit.

In March, Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder appointed Kevyn Orr as the city's emergency manager—an unelected position essentially granted autocratic power to make changes as Orr sees fit. (The law allowing emergency managers was itself highly controversial.) Today, Snyder signed off on the filing, as he explains in the video at right, via BuzzFeed News. "Let me be blunt," Snyder said. "Detroit's broke."

Just yesterday, Orr was profiled by the Wall Street Journal.

Mr. Orr, who is paid $275,000 a year, has hired a new police chief and chief financial officer. The city is in the midst of privatizing its garbage collection and outsourcing its publicly run electric department for street lighting. Mr. Orr is contemplating leasing the city's island park and its regional water and sewer system. He is also weighing a takeover of at least one of the city's pension funds, which are under investigation by the city's auditor general for possible mismanagement.

Fittingly, Orr, a corporate bankruptcy expert, worked with Chrysler when it went through the process.

Since 2010, seven cities, counties, and towns have declared bankruptcy under Chapter 9. About 500 petitions for bankruptcy have been filed in the law's history.

Even with its population decline, Detroit is the largest city to declare bankruptcy, by far. The city now begins a multi-month process in which it works with a court to determine how the city's limited money would be divvied up among those it owes. (A bit of a bright side: The city's bond rating can't drop much.) The Free-Press walks through what happens next.

A bankruptcy judge is appointed and a bankruptcy court (Detroit, Kentucky, Ohio, or Tennessee) is selected. A stay is issued on the city's bills and any lawsuits against the city. The city proves that it is insolvent, while creditors try to challenge the city's attempts to file under Chapter 9. If the judge approves the filing, the city starts restructuring its debts. The entire thing could take years.

That stay on lawsuits may involve some tricky timing, as the newspaper explains.

The employee groups, and separately the city’s two pension funds in another lawsuit, argue that the governor—who under Michigan law must authorize any bankruptcy filing—cannot do so if the filings include plans to reduce pension benefits, because the state’s constitution explicitly protects public pensions.

The groups had planned to go to court on Monday to block a bankruptcy declaration—which they suspect is why Orr filed before that point in time.

Detroit's bankruptcy filing only fixes one of the city's long-term problems, of course, the cycle of borrowing and spending that left the city unable to pay its bills. The population won't suddenly rebound. The 60 percent of kids living in poverty won't be thrust into the middle class. Republican elected officials won't stop using it as a punchline.

Orr doesn't intend that the action will be a cure-all. He just wants to halt the slide.

The filing, via WXYZ.

       

The U.S.'s Positive Take on Race, Just Before The Zimmerman Verdict

Just before last weekend's Zimmerman verdict, Gallup wrapped up a survey diving into how Americans view the state of race relations in the U.S. And while the overall optimistic outlook, released today, might read as incongruous with the current passionate, divisive national conversation emerging on race in the wake of Zimmerman's acquittal, there's a lot to take in from the results.

Here's the overall outlook from Gallup: 

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But even given the majority of positive responses, other questions illuminate some deeper divides on the issue, and just how the public responds to moments in time when racial conversations enter into the national spotlight. For example, the poll notes just how dramatically a racially-charged trial in the national spotlight can change short-term views on the future of race relations in America. Looking at one particular question, whether "black-white relations will always be a problem for the United States," it's nearly impossible to miss a spike in affirmative responses: 

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That spike, Gallup notes, occurred just after the 1995 O.J. Simpson acquittal for the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. And while the circumstances of the Simpson trial and the Zimmerman trial are quite different, both trials touched deep nerves. Both, widely covered, resonated as relevant to the deeper, structural issues of inequality and racial tensions in the U.S. justice system, in law enforcement, and in the media. People wrote books about the role of race in the O.J. Simpson trial. We still talk about it. And while it's not clear whether the Zimmerman trial will have a similar permanence in the American historical conversation about race, Gallup's results demonstrate just how deeply a sensationalized trial can cut.

The survey, part of the Gallup's Minority Rights and Relations poll, also captures how black Americans perceive their treatment in a number of public spaces and situations. And guess what: nearly 1 in 4 young black men (between ages 18 and 34)  told Gallup that they'd been treated unfairly by the police in the past 30 days. That's higher than the average for all black Americans — at 17 percent — but speaks directly to a much-discussed topic during and after the Zimmerman trial: the notion that young, black men are profiled as potential criminals simply because they're young and black. In some cities, to be sure, that notion is formalized into the law enforcement system itself. 

Gallup, however, doesn't seem to think that the Zimmerman trial will have the same staying power as the O.J. Simpson trial does in the American conversation about race. They cite one of their 2012 polls on popular views of the Zimmerman case, which noted that black Americans were much more likely to see Travyon Martin's death as a racial issue. In that poll, 72 percent of black Americans said that Zimmerman was guilty of a crime, while just 32 percent of non-black Americans were sure of Zimmerman's guilt. 

       

The Most Popular Show Nobody Watches

ABC has announced that it has renewed Rookie Blue for a fifth season. What's that? You've never heard of a show called Rookie Blue, let alone a show called Rookie Blue that's going to have a fifth season? Well, Rookie Blue is a Canadian co-production about a police squad in Toronto (the Toronto references are pretty subtle, though) fighting crime and, I dunno, falling in love. It stars Gregory Smith, best known as young Ephram Brown on Everwood, and Missy Peregrym, who, I dunno, has done a bunch of stuff, but for one thing played girlfriend Jackie on Life As We Know It. The show only comes on in the summer, but with ratings hovering around a 1.0, it's a strong performer for the network. That's what the ratings landscape looks like these days, guys. So, congrats to Rookie Blue. Practically no one has ever seen it, and yet it chugs along gamely, getting more seasons than Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, My So-Called Life, and The Comeback combined. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Speaking of things nobody watched, Syfy has ordered a sequel to its aggressively stunt-marketed movie Sharknado, mostly because it was a popular joke on Twitter the night it aired. So, thanks a lot, Twitter. Now we have to endure another night of people thinking it's funny to make jokes about something that's already supposed to be a joke. It's like making fun of a sitcom for being silly, y'know? It's supposed to be silly. Everyone calm down. Calm down and act like a rational adult — meaning make fun of Under the Dome on Twitter every week instead. Come on now. Get with it. Get under the #dome. [Deadline]

Uh oh. That Zach Braff movie that people gave over $3 million to just got a little bumpier. Cast member Anna Kendrick, who everyone likes because of cups and singing, is out. Yup. Sorry. She will no longer be in the movie. Replacing her will be fellow Twilight actress Ashley Greene. Y'know, the one who plays the vampire with the terrible hair. So now this movie, which some 46,000 saps gave money to, so a millionaire could make it, will star Zach Braff, Kate Hudson, and Ashley Greene. Is this the movie you wanted, folks? I wonder if it is. [Vulture]

HBO has given a series order to a comedy pilot from Jay and Mark Duplass, the brothers who have made movies like Baghead, Cyrus, and Jeff Who Lives at Home. The show is called Togetherness and it stars Amanda Peet and Melanie Lynskey. I like this pairing! Good news! The series is about "two couples living under the same roof who struggle to keep their relationships alive while pursuing their individual dreams." So, that's kind of vague, but that's OK. Leaves more territory open to explore! This is intriguing. I hope this is good. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Here is a new trailer for Rush, the true-story race car driving drama from Ron Howard. The opening scene is exciting! It's him making sexytimes with Natalie Dormer, playing a nurse. Then it gets into all the racing stuff and ZZZzzzzz. The movie might be Chris Hemsworth's big shot at a real dramatic acting career, and that's sort of interesting, but vroom-vrooms are just really hard to take seriously. I'm sorry, but they are. "Look at the serious men making their vroom-vrooms go fast." I just don't see the grand drama there. But that's just me!

       

J.K. Rowling's 'Cuckoo's Calling' Is Selling Like Hotcakes

If J.K. Rowling has authored any other novels under a pseudonym in the past decade or so (and who are we to say she hasn't?), she should fess up now. At least for the sake of the bookstores. They have so much to gain—and what has she to lose? (That's assuming she hasn't secretly been writing as E. L. James for the past several years.)

Not that it's particularly a surprise to anyone that a novel by the Harry Potter author sells better than a novel by an obscure military veteran-turned-first-time-novelist, but the numbers are still pretty staggering. As of a week ago, according to a report today in The New York Times, the novel had sold only about 500 copies in the United States; bookstores, Julie Bosman writes, "were contemplating shipping them back to the publisher." A weak showing—but not particularly surprising for a first-time British crime novel. 

Then, late Saturday night, The Sunday Times went public with its revelation.

Within hours, The Cuckoo's Calling had shot to number one on Amazon's best-sellers list. Now, bookstores and distributors are falling over themselves to match the demand, which—while not quite Deathly Hallows-level—has been boosted by the element of surprise that was absent from Rowling's previous literary endeavors:

Little, Brown & Company, her publisher, appears to have been scrambling to meet demand. Nicole Dewey, a spokeswoman for Little, Brown, said that on Monday the publisher began to print an additional 300,000 copies, a huge undertaking that takes several days. Ms. Dewey said the books are expected to start shipping some time this week. That isn’t soon enough for many bookstores, which are locked in a fierce competition with Amazon, and with the e-book, which, compared with hardcovers, is inexpensive and instantly available. (The hardcover list price of “The Cuckoo’s Calling” is $26; a Kindle or Nook edition is $9.99.)

In Austin, Tex., customers have stopped by the BookPeople store asking for the title, only to be told that it is out of stock. Forty copies are on order, said a bookseller there, Carolyn Tracy, adding that at least eight people had asked to reserve copies.

There's also the (understandable) concern among some booksellers that readers will rush to devour the novel as an e-book before physical copies can be shipped to the stores. The real winners, it seems, are those lucky enough to have purchased first-edition copies—which are now going for as much as $200 or $300 on eBay. Congratulations, readers of obscure British crime novels—you are ahead of the curve!

The real revelation could be that Rowling's party was behind the leak all along. The first hint is that the initial tip came from an anonymous Twitter account that was deleted almost immediately following the tweet. Even more curiously, The Times's Julie Bosman points out that the paperback edition of The Casual Vacancy, which Rowling published under her own name last fall, is out next week, and surely this new burst of press won't hurt. Rowling stated she "had hoped to keep this secret a little longer," but that could be a ruse. Suspicions, at any rate, are mounting in the book world:

JK Rowling leaked her own ID as R. Galbraith, right? It only sold 500 units before the big reveal. Come on! http://t.co/3Ro6xvRRfV

— Dana Goldberg (@whirligigeditor) July 17, 2013

You have to wonder if JK Rowling's secret book was leaked due to poor book sales. It'll skyrocket now.

— Jeyn Roberts (@JeynRoberts) July 14, 2013

If The Cuckoo's Calling had sold more than 500 copies, would word of Rowling's authorship have "accidentally leaked"? #pubtip #writetip

— Needle Mag (@needlemagnoir) July 15, 2013

I suspect it was JK Rowling herself (or her team) who leaked the fact that she wrote The Cuckoo's Calling. Watch the sales rocket!

— Louise Edwards (@DaisyDuck2109) July 14, 2013

So, famous novelists, a helpful how-to guide if you're interested in publishing under a pseudonym:

Write the book, in secret, as quickly and privately as possible. Don't let the publishing house in on the secret. Get it published. But remain as nonchalant as possible. Perhaps allow yourself be sighted by paparazzi while casually perusing the recently released title in your local bookstore. Continue to keep the secret. That includes your spouse. Wait for the reviews, and sales, to trickle in. If history is any indication, they will be good but not great, because unknown first-time novelists don't tend to attract much press attention. Let your trustworthy publisher-person in on the secret. Instruct that person to (secretly) increase distribution by a modest 500,000%. Wait for sales to die down. Ideally, this should be right before your most recent previous novel is going to be issued on paperback. Also wait for a weekend, because best-seller lists count sales from Sunday to Saturday. Also, wait for a slow news weekend. Choose a journalist who you think deserves a really, really good scoop.  Quick! Make an anonymous Twitter account and tweet the scoop to your chosen journalist and then delete the account really quickly. Issue a statement sheepishly fessing up and claiming you wish you could've kept the secret longer. 

And if you own a bookstore, you may want to start scouring your collection of obscure novels from mysterious British authors so you can figure out which ones were written by J.K. Rowling. Start tonight. Good luck!

We're wondering what other books Rowling secretly wrote.

— McNally Jackson (@mcnallyjackson) July 14, 2013

Walden by Henry David Thoreau (by J.K. Rowling)

— McNally Jackson (@mcnallyjackson) July 14, 2013

Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg (by J.K. Rowling)

— McNally Jackson (@mcnallyjackson) July 14, 2013

My Struggle Book II: A Man in Love, by Karl Ove Knausgaard (by J.K. Rowling).

— McNally Jackson (@mcnallyjackson) July 14, 2013