Atlantic Monthly Contributors's Blog, page 983

Some Tips for Parents on Using the Internet to Talk to Their Kids

This week we learned that some parents are adept at communicating with their children in the age of iMessage and Gchat. With young people leading the trend of not using phones as phones, moms have had to adapt to less talk time, which has meant more rambling voicemails for some of us. For others — like those profiled in this Wall Street Journal article — it has meant teaching mom to Gchat, text, or Facebook. To be sure, it's very impressive to see an older generation adapt. And yet, parents using the Internet seem to still be, well, parents using the Internet. From the experiences of The Atlantic Wire staffers at least, we salute the efforts of moms and dads everywhere, but we have some advice for them. 

Text Messages Aren't Emails. Since parents only use these tools with a small set of humans, generally, they don't understand the nuances of digital etiquette. For instance, the medium matters. Philip Bump's dad, for example, writes "essentially blog-posts-via-text," when text messages are supposed to be short, more like phone conversations than letters. Allie Jones, one of our fellows, says of her text-loving mom, "She doesn’t get that you can actually have a conversation with it. She will send a long text detailing what’s going on in the day, and then I’ll respond, and then she’ll forget to check her phone and never respond." 

Facebook Isn't a Blog. Speaking of longform, some parents think that an empty box on the Internet is an invitation to write an essay. Internet consultant Eric Spiegelman, for example, had this to tweet recently: 

omg my mom is blogging

— Eric Spiegelman (@ericspiegelman) August 2, 2013

on facebook

— Eric Spiegelman (@ericspiegelman) August 2, 2013

Again, the whole digital etiquette thing is lost on parents even though it is often be endearing. "My dad comments on all my Facebook posts, with some typical Dad humor," said Eric Levenson, another of our fellows. "I kind of like it though, it usually makes me laugh."

No 'Lingo' Required In an attempt to be hip to the jive, some parents try to learn the language of their kids. One: We don't talk like that. And two: You're doing it wrong. My mom uses the letter 2 for to, and u for you. But, I think it's genuinely to save time because she has a feature phone and doesn't use the predictive text.

"My mother is a frequent texter, which is handy, but she has sort of invented her own lingo that I still don't quite understand," said Richard Lawson. "In the beginning of her texting career, she made the common mistake of thinking that 'LOL' means lots of love, so for a long time I thought she was signing off of text conversations with laughter." Mother Lawson has taken it to a new level, of late, though:

But lately she'll send me questions about various characters on Game of Thrones or other Sunday night shows using strange abbreviations and acronyms. She works with the military sometimes, so maybe it's Army code? If so, she probably shouldn't be using it to ask me who Dexter is talking to at any given moment.

Don't Get Too Complicated with Twitter. You're already at expert level Internetting (for a parent) if you've made it to Twitter. So, there's no need to try and get fancy, lest you end up hurting yourself, like our fellow Zach Schonfeld's dad. "He still doesn't understand the difference between the hashtag and @ symbols. So he tweets stuff like 'Great article about rising college tuition @college @education @expensive.'" That's endearing from over here, where it's only being such a dad. But on the Internet, not everyone knows you're a dad.

Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help. The coolest parent knows when to get useful tips and tricks from their children. "I taught my mom keyboard shortcuts the other day," said Elspeth Reeve. "We were talking on the phone, and she really wanted to show me a dress she wanted me to buy, but she didn't know how to show it to me. Then I told her about control-C and control-V, and talked her through emailing me the link. It was magic." 

See most of you make things harder for yourselves out of pride — you want to know how to use the Internet just like us. Well, just ask. 

Photo by Carissa Rogers via Flickr.

       

All the Silly Legislative Acronyms Congress Came Up with This Year

With the passage of the REINS Act earlier today, the House of Representatives got to do two of its favorite things. First, it got to cast a party-line vote on a measure that would curtail the administration's ability to make new rules. Second, it got to talk about a piece of legislation — the Regulations from the Executive In Need of Scrutiny Act — that is referred to by a dumb acronym.

Pointing out that second tendency is not new. The Economist looked at the issue back in 2011, but the high-water mark certainly came with the high-profile, brilliantly wrought USA PATRIOT Act in 2001. That's the "Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act" — a masterpiece of form. But even in this least popular, highly unproductive 113th Congress that kicked off in January, we've got over 240 examples of similarly clever titling to review.

We've categorized them, below. Please enjoy.

The "We Get It Already" Ones

Some titles can't resist kicking you in the teeth with their obviousness, even if they aren't acronyms. There's the "America is for Americans Act" (guess what that does). The "Chris Stevens, Sean Smith, Tyrone Woods, and Glen Doherty Embassy Security and Personnel Protection Act of 2013." The "Flat Tax Act." What these ones lack in subtlety, they also lack in creativity.

The acronym ones are worse.

ACCOUNT (Agency Conferences and Conventions Operating Under Necessary Transparency Act of 2013) AMMO (Ammunition Management for More Obtainability Act of 2013) BREATHE (Bringing Reductions to Energy's Airborne Toxic Health Effects Act) CHARGE (Changing How America Reduces Greenhouse Emissions (CHARGE) Act) CHURCH (Congressional Hope for Uniform Recognition of Christian Heritage (CHURCH) Act of 2013) FAIRCREDIT (Fair Allocation of Internal Revenue Credit for Renewable Electricity Distribution by Indian Tribes Act of 2013) FORVETS (Formerly Owned Resources for Veterans to Express Thanks for Service Act of 2013FORVETSA) FRESHER (Focused Reduction of Effluence and Stormwater runoff through Hydrofracking Environmental Regulation Act of 2013) INVEST (Immigration and Naturalization Investment Ventures for Engineering, Science, and Technology in America Act of 2013) NATGAS (New Alternative Transportation to Give Americans Solutions Act of 2013) Opportunity KNOCKS (Opportunity Kindling New Options for Career and Knowledge Seekers Act) PATIENTS (Preserving Access to Targeted, Individualized, and Effective New Treatments and Services (PATIENTS) Act of 2013) PHEASANT (Protecting Honest, Everyday Americans from Senseless And Needless Taxes (PHEASANT) Act of 2013) STOMP (Sequestration Tied to Member Pay (STOMP) Act of 2013) SUCCEED (Strengthen and Unite Communities with Civics Education and English Development Act of 2013) SMART Border Act (Support More Assets, Resources, and Technology on the Border Act of 2013) The Groaners

When you get to the acronyms, Congressmembers really get a chance to shine. Most of these titles are the joke equivalent of handing someone a doctoral thesis on the complexity of "Why'd the chicken cross the road" and then standing there beating them on the head with an inflatable bat yelling "DO YOU GET IT" in their ear while they read.

For example:

GREAT Teachers and Principals (GREAT Teachers and Principals Act) LINE (Lines Interfere with National Elections Act of 2013) METRICS (Measuring and Evaluating Trends for Reliability, Integrity, and Continued Success Act of 2013) MOVE Freight (Multimodal Opportunities Via Enhanced Freight Act of 2013) SWEEP (Sunset Wasteful Executive Expenditures and Programs Act of 2013) WAVE4 (Waterways Are Vital for the Economy, Energy, Efficiency, and Environment Act of 2013) SALUTE (Servicemember Assistance for Lawful Understanding, Treatment, and Education Act) VACANT (Verifying Agency Conduct and Needs Through (VACANT) Inspectors General Act) WE CARE (Working to Encourage Community Action and Responsibility in Education Act) The "That's Cheating" Ones

One of the first rules of creating an acronym is that you cannot start the acronym with the word that the acronym spells. That is cheating. If you're going to spend tax dollars coming up with an acronym, you should not be allowed to cheat when you create it.

BUILD (Building upon Unique Indian Learning and Development Act) CROP (Crop Risk Options Plan Act of 2013) DAIRY (Dairy Augmentation for Increased Retail in Yogurt products (DAIRY) Act) DREDGE (Dredging for Restoration and Economic Development for Global Exports Act of 201DREDGEA) FAIR Generic Drugs (Fair And Immediate Release of Generic Drugs Act) FARMER (Farmers and Ranchers Minimizing Estate Regulations Act of 2013) SAFEHAUL (Safe And Fair Environment on Highways Achieved through Underwriting Levels Act of 2013) TRAUMA (Trauma Relief Access for Universal Medical Assistance Act) The Repeats

Certain expressions, because they are So Patriotic™, are irresistible to elected officials. Since January, all of the following bills have been introduced, focused on vets and skills and homes and so on.

HOME (Housing Opportunities Made Equal Act of 2013) HOME (Housing Opportunity and Mortgage Equity Act of 2013) PACT (Preventing Abuse of Cough Treatments Act of 2013) PACT (Planning Actively for Cancer Treatment (PACT) Act of 2013) PARTS (Promoting Automotive Repair, Trade, and Sales Act of 2013) PARTS (Protecting Access to Rural Therapy Services (PARTS) Act) SHIELD (Strengthening Homeland Security, Intelligence, and Essential Law Enforcement Departments Act of 2013) SHIELD (Saving High-Tech Innovators from Egregious Legal Disputes Act of 2013) SKILLS Visa Act (SKILLS Visa Act) SKILS (Supporting Knowledge and Investing in Lifelong Skills Act) SOS (Save Our Seasons Act of 2013) SOS (Save Our Students Act) SOS (Save Our Soldiers' Lungs Act) VOTE (Students Voicing Opinions in Today's Elections (VOTE) Act) VETS (Veterans E-Health & Telemedicine Support Act of 2013) VET (Veteran Employment Transition Act of 2013) VET (Veteran Employment Transition Act) VET (Veterans Education Transparency Act) VET (Veterans' Educational Transition Act of 2013) VET-E (Veteran Excellence Through Education Act of 2013) VOTE (Value Our Time Elections Act) The Ones That are Clever

There are some to which we must tip our hats.

ATTIRE (American Textile Technology Innovation and Research for Exportation) BEER (Brewers Excise and Economic Relief Act of 2013) CINEMA (Captioning and Image Narration to Enhance Movie Accessibility Act) DATA (Digital Accountability and Transparency Act of 2013) DIPLOMA (Developing Innovative Partnerships and Learning Opportunities that Motivate Achievement Act) FRESH (Fracturing Regulations are Effective in State Hands Act) FUELS (Farmers Undertake Environmental Land Stewardship Act) HIRE (Helping Individuals Return to Employment Act) IFSEA (International Fisheries Stewardship and Enforcement Act) JOBS (Jumpstarting Our Business Sector Act of 2013) PIONEERS (Protecting Investment in Oil Shale the Next Generation of Environmental, Energy, and Resource Security Act) PORTS (Putting Our Resources Toward Security Act) PROSTATE (Prostate Research, Outreach, Screening, Testing, Access, and Treatment Effectiveness Act of 2013) RESPECT (Requirements, Expectations, and Standard Procedures for Executive Consultation with Tribes Act) PEGASUS (Prevention of Escapement of Genetically Altered Salmon in the United States Act) Jury ACCESS (Jury Access for Capable Citizens and Equality in Service Selection Act of 2013) SKILLS (Supplying Knowledge-based Immigrants and Lifting Levels of STEM Visas Act) STELLAR (Securing Teacher Effectiveness, Leadership, Learning, And Results Act of 2013)

By far the best, though, is this one.

Robo COP (Robo Calls Off Phones Act)

Congratulations, Rep. Foxx of North Carolina. The ROBO COP Act is genius.

(Everything else)

Just to show our work. Feel free to let us know if you think these fall into any of the categories above.

AA (America is for Americans Act) ABLE (Achieving a Better Life Experience Act of 2013) ACCESS (ACCESS (ADA Compliance for Customer Entry to Stores and Services) Act of 2013) ACE (Agricultural Credit Expansion Act) ACE (All Children are Equal Act) AFFIRM (Assisting Family Farmers through Insurance Reform Measures Act) AGEIN (Assistance in Gaining Experience, Independence, and Navigation Act of 2013) ALERT (ALERT Act of 2013) APLUS (Academic Partnerships Lead Us to Success Act) ATHOME (Aviation Teams Helping Our Municipalities' Economies Act of 2013) BAA (Buy America Accountability Act of 2013) BUILDCTE (Building Understanding, Investment, Learning, and Direction Career and Technical Education Act of 2013) CAMPUS Safety (Center to Advance, Monitor, and Preserve University Security Safety Act of 2013) CAPP (Creating American Prosperity through Preservation Act of 2013) CARE (Children's Act for Responsible Employment of 2013) CARE (Coal Accountability and Retired Employee Act of 2013) CARE (Creating Access to Residency Education Act of 2013) CAREMIRT (Consistency, Accuracy, Responsibility, and Excellence in Medical Imaging and Radiation Therapy Act of 2013) CEASE (Conditioning Economic Assistance and Support to Egypt Act) CHAMP VA (CHAMPVA Children's Protection Act of 2013) C-HEARTS (Cardiomyopathy Health Education, Awareness, Risk Assessment, and Training in the Schools (HEARTS) Act of 2013) CHEW (CHEW Act) CHI (Competitive Health Insurance Act) CLAIM (Claims Licensing Advancement for Interstate Matters Act) CLEAR SBA (CLEAR SBA Act) COPSIR (COPS Improvement and Reauthorization Act of 2013) COSTS (Congressional Oversight to Start Taxpayer Savings Resolution) CREED (Commercial Real Estate and Economic Development Act of 2013) CROP (Containing Risk, Offering Protection Act) CROP (Creating Reliability for Our Producers Act) CUSEME (Conditioning United States-Egypt Military Exercises Act of 2013) DISCLOSE (Disclosure of Information on Spending on Campaigns Leads to Open and Secure Elections Act of 2013) DREAM (Development, Relief, and Education for Alien Minors Act of 2013) DRONES (DRONES Act) EARNED (Education Assistance to Realign New Eligibilities for Dependents (EARNED) Act of 2013) EASYS (Employees of America Streamlining for Your Savings Act of 2013) ExCEL (ExCEL Act of 2013) ExSCALE (Exascale Computing for Science, Competitiveness, Advanced Manufacturing, Leadership, and the Economy Act of 2013) ENLIST (ENLIST Act) ESHOP (Ensuring Shoppers Honest Online Pricing Act of 2013) EXPENSE (EXPENSE Act of 2013) FACT (Furthering Asbestos Claim Transparency (FACT) Act of 2013) FAIR (Food Assistance to Improve Reintegration Act of 2013) FAR (Food Aid Reform Act) FARMER (FARMER Act of 2013) FAST Voting (FAST Voting Act of 2013) FAULT (FAULT Act) FFOCUS (FFOCUS Act of 2013) FARM (FHA Reform and Modernization Act of 2013) FIVE (FIVE Act) FLUENT (Families Learning and Understanding English Together Act of 2013) FMFMIC (Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac Investigative Commission Act) FORESTS (Fulfilling Our Responsibility for Efficient and Sustainable Timber Supply Act of 2013) FRAME (Farm Risk Abatement and Mitigation Election Act of 2013) FREED (Federal Response to Eliminate Eating Disorders Act of 2013) FT (Flat Tax Act) GAPS (Gauging American Port Security Act) GET (Geothermal Exploration and Technology Act of 2013) GOARM (Growing Opportunities for Agriculture and Responding to Markets Act of 2013) GREEN (GREEN Act) GUARD Remembrance (Guard Units And Reservists Deserve Remembrance Act) HAVEN (HAVEN Act) HEALTHYV (Help Establish Access to Local Timely Healthcare for Your Vets Act of 2013) HELLPP (HELLPP Act) HELP (Hospice Evaluation and Legitimate Payment Act of 2013) HIRE (HIRE Act) HOMES (HOMES Act) INFORM (INFORM Act) JOLT (Jobs Originated through Launching Travel Act of 2013) JUSTICE (Justice for the Unprotected against Sexually Transmitted Infections among the Confined and Exposed Act) LEARN (Literacy Education for All, Results for the Nation Act) LEARN (Local Education Authority Returns Now Act) MARCH (Military Access to Reproductive Care and Health for Military Women Act) MOTOR (Marina Operator Tax Obligation Relief Act of 2013) MOVE Freight (MOVE Freight Act of 2013) OPEN (Openness in Political Expenditures Now Act) PACE (PACE Act) PAST (Prevent All Soring Tactics Act of 2013) PATIENT (Providing Accountability and Transparency to Incentivize Economically Necessary Transitions in Health Care Act of 2013) MD CARE (Paul D. Wellstone Muscular Dystrophy Community Assistance, Research and Education Amendments of 2013) PEER (Prioritizing Energy Efficient Renewables Act of 2013) PESTT (Pest Elimination Services Transparency and Terminology Act) PHYSICAL (Promoting Health as Youth Skills In Classrooms And Life Act) PLANT (Protecting Lands Against Narcotics Trafficking Act of 2013) PRIDE (PRIDE Act) PRIME (PRIME Act of 2013) PROLIFE (PRO-LIFE Act) PROMPT (Proper Replacement Of Medals and Performance Tracking Act) PROTECT (Protection from Rogue Oil Traders Engaging in Computerized Trading Act) PURSE (Preventing Unionization of Revenue Service Employees Act) RACE (Restoring America's Competitiveness in Enterprise (RACE) Act of 2013) RAMP (Realize America's Maritime Promise Act) RAPID (Responsibly And Professionally Invigorating Development Act of 2013) RARE (Resource Assessment of Rare Earths Act of 2013) RASEUP (Reengaging Americans in Serious Education by Uniting Programs Act) RATE (Rate of Average Time Execution Act of 2013) REACH (Raising Employment in Affordable Communities and Homes Act of 2013) REACH (Rural Educator and American Community Housing Act of 2013) REBUILD (Reducing Environmental Barriers to Unified Infrastructure and Land Development Act of 2013 Act) REFUND (Returned Exclusively For Unpaid National Debt Act) REINS (REINS Act) REPALATE (Review EPA's Language on Agriculture and Thoroughly Engage with the Farm Act of 2013) REPEALHIV Discrimination (REPEAL HIV Discrimination Act of 2013) REVAMP (REVAMP Act of 2013) RIVER (RIVER Act) RUSH (Responding to Urgent needs of Survivors of the Holocaust Act) SAFEGUARDS (Secure All Facilities to Effectively Guard the United States Against and Respond to Dangerous Spills Act of 2013) SAFE ID (SAFE ID Act of 2013) SAFE Lending (Stopping Abuse and Fraud in Electronic Lending Act of 2013) SAFERS (Support Assault Firearms Elimination and Reduction for our Streets Act) SAFETY (Securing American Families by Educating and Training Youth (SAFETY) Through Nonviolence Act of 2013) SALTS (SALTS Act) SALUTE (SALUTE Act) SAVE (Savings, Accountability, Value, and Efficiency Act) SAVE (Sensible Accounting to Value Energy Act of 2013) SAVED (Screening Amputees and Veterans with Efficiency and Dignity Act) SAVE Native Women (Stand Against Violence and Empower Native Women Act) SBREW (Small Brewer Reinvestment and Expanding Workforce Act of 2013) SCHOOL (Safeguarding Children Harmed by Obamacare's Onerous Levies Act) SCOPE (Safeguarding Care Of Patients Everywhere Act) SCORE (Security Clearance Oversight and Reform Enhancement Act) SCREEN (SCREEN Act of 2013) SEAL (Shrinking Emergency Account Losses Act of 2013) SECTORS (SECTORS Act of 2013) SECUREIT (Strengthening and Enhancing Cybersecurity by Using Research, Education, Information, and Technology Act of 2013) SERVE (Supporting Emergency Responders Volunteer Efforts Act of 2013) SHORE (SHORE Act of 2013) SHUT (Stop Handouts to Unauthorized Taxpayers Act of 2013) SIMPLE (Streamlined and Improved Methods at Polling Locations and Early (SIMPLE) Voting Act of 2013) SLICE (School Lunch Improvements for Children's Education Act) SMART (Simplified, Manageable, And Responsible Tax Act) SMARTSALE (Stop Mergers, Acquisitions, and Risky Takeovers Supplied by American Labor and Entrepreneurship Act of 2013) SNAP (Safety Net Abuse Prevention (SNAP) Act of 2013) SOUP (Stopping the Offensive Use of Patents Act) STAND (STAND for Tourism Act) STAPLE (STAPLE Act) STATE (STATE Act) STEM (STEM Support for Teachers in Education and Mentoring (STEM) Act) STOP (Stop Tenant Organizing Promotion Act) STOP (Stopping Taxpayer Outlays for Propaganda Act) STOPIRS (Stop Targeting Our Politics IRS Act) STOPIT (Stopping Tax Offenders and Prosecuting Identity Theft Act of 2013) STORAGE (STORAGE 2013 Act) STRAW (Short Term Retention for Agricultural Workers Act of 2013) STRONG (Strengthening The Resiliency of Our Nation on the Ground Act) SUN (Solar Uniting Neighborhoods (SUN) Act of 2013) SUPER (SUPER Act of 2013) TALENT (TALENT Act) TRACE (Trafficking Reduction And Criminal Enforcement (TRACE) Act) TREES (TREES Act) TRIP-B (TRIP Bonds Act) TRUST (Trust Returned to the United States Taxpayer Act) USEIT (United States Exploration on Idle Tracts Act) VETS (Veteran Employment and Training Services Act of 2013) VETS (Veterans' Efficiencies Through Savings Act of 2013) VITA (Volunteer Income Tax Assistance (VITA) Act) WAGES (Working for Adequate Gains for Employment in Services Act) WATERT (Working to Address Treaty Enforcement Rapidly for Texas Act) WATERU (Water Advanced Technologies for Efficient Resource Use Act of 2013) WISE (Workforce Infrastructure for Skilled Employees Investment Act) Y-PROMISE (Youth Prison Reduction through Opportunities, Mentoring, Intervention, Support, and Education Act) ZERO (Zero-based Budgeting Ensures Responsible Oversight (ZERO) Act of 2013) BARONS (New Fair Deal Busting America's Rigid Outdated & Needless Subsidies Act of 2013) TALENT (To Aid Gifted and High-Ability Learners by Empowering the Nation's Teachers Act) LIBERTY (Letting Insurance Benefit Everyone Regardless of Their Youth (LIBERTY) Act) CEOS (New Fair Deal Consolidating and Eliminating Outdated Subsidies Act of 2013) REFI (Refinancing Education Funding to Invest (REFI) for the Future Act of 2013) SEEEDCA (Social Enterprise Ecosystem and Economic Development Commission Act of 2013) SHIELDA (Secure High-voltage Infrastructure for Electricity from Lethal Damage Act) TRIP (Travel Reimbursement for Inactive Duty Training Personnel (TRIP) Act of 2013)        

On the Return of a Long-Lost Library Book, the World Rejoices

A woman walks into her local library and hands the librarian a book. He takes it gingerly, seeing that the book is old. He wonders if the woman who is returning it has been careless with the volume. Not so, it turns out. The book was actually taken out from that same library by the woman's grandfather, then stored in an attic, which she had recently cleaned out. The book — which is about gardening, or Napoleon, or maybe both — has remained intact, sandwiched between dusty yearbooks and issues of Life magazine. And now she is returning it, closing the bookish circle first opened so very long ago.

Everyone loves this storyline — librarians, readers, reporters — which is why it so frequently appears in the press. It is, in many ways, the Rudy of library stacks.

This week, for example, we had "Book missing for more than 150 years returned to Kentucky library":

Centre College in Danville, Ky., received the 185-year-old book last week after a student intern found it while taking inventory of books in exhibit rooms at the Jacobs Hall Museum at nearby Kentucky School for the Deaf. 

In July, a book returned in Ohio after being on loan 41 years netted $299 in fines, not to mention plenty of gleeful press coverage.

Last year, a similarly auspicious return occurred in Chicago, when a book was returned after 78 years in captivity. Reported The Huffington Post, one of several outlets to cover the story:

The Chicago Public Library was reunited last week with a book so many years overdue no one even realized it was missing from its shelves.

In the midst of a rare, three-week amnesty program -- where the nation's third-largest city's library system is forgiving fines for any overdue items that are returned to them -- the library received a limited edition copy of Oscar Wilde's classic "The Picture of Dorian Gray," Reuters reports.

The literary treasure was last checked out in 1934.

And in Dublin, a book published in 1538 was returned after having been out on loan for 100 years:

The hero of the story is an Irish barrister who plucked the tome from a junk shop. The attorney paid the princely sum of €90 (about $119), picking up an antique mirror into the bargain. Realizing there was something rather special about the book, he brought it to Marsh's Library, where the librarians recognized it as their own.

Back in 2009, a book stolen by a soldier during the Civil War was returned to the library at Washington & Lee University after 145 years. That's trumped, however, by a book returned 221 years after it was taken out from the New York Society Library. The tardy patron was America's first president, George Washington, so perhaps the lapse can be forgiven.

What's really curious, however, is the staying power of this rather quotidian story, our seemingly endless fascination with an old book returning to the place where it belongs.

This surely has to do, in part, with the rise of digital books and the attendant diminishing of libraries as places of an intellectual exchange that occurs on very real, physical terms. You are handed a bound sheaf of paper; you, in turn, promise to return it. That a book can outlast the vicissitudes of time — wars, floods, sharknados — to return to its assigned place on the shelf reaffirms the power of the book as a physical object.

It does not, like an e-book, reside in the digital ether, its existence predicated on the click of a button or swipe of a finger. The book has to survive. And when it manages to do so for decades, even centuries, the very notion of survival is celebrated, much as one would celebrate a soldier returning from war. Thus when Dublin's Archbishop Marsh Library reclaimed its 1538 volume of Galen's works, CNN noted that "library staff members said they were delighted to 'welcome back an old friend.'"

And then there is the recipient, the library, today often little more than an Internet cafe with books. The return of an old library book is an act of pure civic obedience. The old book could just as well be sold, put out with the recycling, left to rot in a basement. To return it to a library is to imply that libraries still matter, that they are the custodians of objects that remain relevant to our society. That we should have libraries, and books, and people who patronize them.

Back in 2011, a man travelled from California to Maine to return a 200-year-old book to the Federal Society Library of Cambden. "The journey these books have been on is pretty fantastic,” an archivist at the library said. It is that journey, an Odyssean return, that we love so much.

       

Russia to Back Off on Anti-Gay Laws During the Sochi Olympics

In an effort to (sort of) smooth things over with the international community, a top Russian lawmaker says his country won't be enforcing their harsh anti-gay laws when thousands of visitors come to the Winter Olympics next year. Igor Ananskikh, the head of the Russia's Committee on physical training, sports and youth, said on Friday that they've decided "not to raise this issue during the Games," trying to put an end to fears that gay athletes and fans will be rounded up and prosecuted when the city of Sochi host the next Games.

Russia has taken a lot of heat in the last few weeks and months for its increasingly hostile stance toward the LGBT community. Gay pride parades have been besieged by violent attacks that have gone unchecked (or have been outright encouraged) by the police, and a host of new laws have been passed to crack down on anyone even suspected of homosexual behavior. One law even bans "gay propaganda" which can include something as simple as telling a child that homosexuality is normal.

Most worrisome, particularly as it regards the Olympics, is a law that allows foreigners to be arrested by police if they are suspected of being gay. Earlier this week, Russia's sports minister said that gay and lesbian athletes would be allowed to compete in Sochi, but "he goes onto the street and starts propagandizing it, then of course he will be held accountable." With so many visitors flooding the city — many of whom are known publicly to be gay — that was a real cause for concern, prompting some to consider whether a boycott of the Games is in order. (Gay rights activists around the world are already pushing a campaign to boycott Russian-made vodka.)

Ananskikh is contradictory to other claims made about enforcement of the law, but he openly admits that his concession is not about actually respecting gay rights, but "to be as politically correct and tolerant as we can be" during the Olympics. The goal at this point is merely to avoid a major international incident at event that is scientifically engineered to make the world look like a happy peaceful place. It won't change Russia's laws or the incredibly hostile climate for gay people, but it might be able to let everyone play nice for two weeks next February.

       

How The Clintons Are Helping Huma

As the Weiner campaign itself bumps up the spectacle of a campaign in disarray, The New York Times has a look at just how involved the Clintons have been in helping — and protecting — Huma Abedin. Abedin, described in the paper as a "beloved surrogate daughter to the Clintons," took a lot of public heat recently for her decision to stand by her husband in a press conference addressing the new round of sexting allegations. It's no secret that Hillary Clinton is something of a model for Abedin — both as a wife who stayed with her husband through a sex scandal, and as a politician who launched her own career after doing so — but now we know a bit more on just how deep that interplay runs. 

Here's why, in a nutshell, from the Times: 

There is a long-held belief within their circle that any attacks on top Clinton loyalists are akin to attacks on the former first couple themselves. And the State Department had fashioned Mr. Reines’s role as communications chief to include not just defending Mrs. Clinton, but also defending her chief lieutenants and diplomats.

The Times piece goes through a bunch of examples of the Clintons' silent hand in the Abedin-Weiner rehabilitation strategy, mainly personified by Abedin's friend and Clinton adviser Philippe I. Reines (who also seems to be the main source for the piece). But one, referring to a strange Weiner campaign video just this week, explains why the growing presence of Abedin by her husband's side suddenly backed off a bit in recent days: 

This past weekend, Mr. Reines advised Ms. Abedin against participating in Mr. Weiner’s newest campaign video, which was being filmed at the couple’s Park Avenue South apartment, itself owned by a longtime Clinton donor. Mr. Reines and Ms. Abedin agreed that she should leave her home to avoid even appearing in the background of any scene in the video, according to people familiar with their conversation, who spoke on condition of anonymity to avoid straining ties with those involved.

Abedin, of course, has a reputation to care for herself. Aside from her role (or non-role) in the disintegrating Weiner public rehab effort, Senator Chuck Grassley is pushing forward with an investigation into her previous part-time State Department employment arrangement, during which she also worked part-time for a private company with Clinton ties. As that's ongoing, she still works for Clinton, though she decided to take a five-week vacation in August to help her husband's mayoral campaign. Abedin has spent the past few days working in Washington. 

Meanwhile, the goodwill many among the Clintons' closest advisors extend to Abedin definitely does not extend to Abedin's husband. Doug Band, a Clinton adviser in the inner circle, doesn't seem to want anything to do with him: "when Ms. Abedin brought the couple’s infant son, Jordan, to visit Mr. Band at his apartment, Mr. Band specifically requested that Mr. Weiner wait outside in the car." And that was before the latest round of scandal emerged. 

       

Texas Is Running Out of Execution Drugs

Texas has just one month's supply remaining of pentobarbital, the drug used in the most active death penalty chambers in the country. Whatever's left of the state's supply of the drug expires at the beginning of September. And replenishing their supply won't be easy, leaving the fate of two inmates scheduled to die in September unclear. 

The AP explains that the state has seven more executions scheduled for this year — they've carried out 11, so far, most recently on Wednesday. Unless Texas has procured more of the drug since their last disclosure in 2012, the state should have enough pentobarbital left for three more executions, provided they happen within the next month. The Texas Department of Criminal Justice told the AP that the state doesn't have a back-up plan to continue carrying out executions once the drug supply expires: 

"We will be unable to use our current supply of pentobarbital after it expires," agency spokesman Jason Clark said. "We are exploring all options at this time."

Texas, like every U.S. state that practices lethal injection, ran into a major supply problem over the past few years: In 2011, the only manufacturer of the anesthetic sodium thiopental (the first of the three drugs normally administered to an inmate sentenced to die by lethal injection) ceased production after its Italian production facility refused to participate in the U.S.'s administration of capital punishment. A few states were able to secure last-minute supplies of the drug from other countries before it became unavailable in the U.S., but that was only a short-term solution. Soon, states started using just a single drug, pentobarbital, for lethal injection sentences. That drug has been traditionally used to euthanize animals. Thanks to a court ruling allowing for the drug's use in a 2010 Oklahoma execution, other states pushed ahead with stocking up on the new option. But now, those supplies are either dwindling or expiring as suppliers restrict the ability of states to purchase it for executions. 

But this doesn't mean that Texas, or any of the other states who continue to execute inmates, will give up on capital punishment. Here's what two other states have tried: 

Georgia — Make the Source of the Drug a State Secret 

The state of Georgia passed a law that classifies the source and method of production for lethal injection drugs, in part because they wanted to start going to compounding pharmacies to make it for them. The law is being challenged in connection to the pending execution of Warren Hill, who has been diagnosed as mentally disabled by a series of doctors now. Andrew Cohen at the Atlantic explained Georgia's strategy: "As 'official' supplies of the drug have dwindled, state officials have resorted to dramatic means -- including possibly unlawful means --  to obtain it." He continues: 

So not only is Georgia proceeding with an execution that ought to be barred by the Supreme Court's decision in Atkins, but the state also is proceeding unconstitutionally with Hill's execution by employing secret procurement procedures that create both risk of cruelty to the condemned and at the same time raise profound separation-of-powers questions. 

 Georgia, like Texas, now uses a one-drug lethal injection cocktail. Their remaining supply expired at the end of march. Ohio is also considering going to compounding pharmacies to re-up their supply when it expires at the end of September. As for the secrecy method,  Arkansas, South Dakota and Tennessee have also added provisions blocking public knowledge of the names of suppliers, to avoid further pressure compelling companies to stop supplying it altogether. Anti death penalty activist taking the company pressure approach have been remarkably effective at helping to cut off the supply of drugs. 

Missouri — Find a Different Drug. 

Missouri's execution chambers are currently in a holding pattern as the state tries to figure out how to continue to execute prisoners. While some, according to the AP, have suggested a return to the gas chamber (still legal under state law), Missouri's main option is to try a new drug: propofol. That's the drug blamed for Michael Jackson's death, and it's never been used in an American execution before. And as ABC explains, drug manufacturers are already refusing to supply more of the drug for state executions. The state's supply of the drug will only last until 2015, with an older batch set to expire in October — so even if the courts do clear the way for the new procedures, it'll only be a temporary solution. 

Recently, Texas reached the grim milestone of its 500th execution. But unless they figure out yet another way to keep in a supply of a legal drug for executions, they'll join other states — like California — in an effective freeze on capital punishment until federal courts review and approve a new method. However, if past experience tells us anything, it's that Texas is very, very unlikely to stop trying. 

       

Report: Aaron Hernandez Has a Pen Pal

Aaron Hernandez, the NFL player currently facing a murder charge, apparently wrote a letter to a pen pal from jail in which he says he's innocent. TMZ grabbed the correspondance, which they say they've verified with law enforcement officials. While the letter basically lays out Hernandez's personal defense, it closes with an indication that he didn't want it to become public: "Keep this off social media PLEASE!" 

TMZ has a watermark-laden image of the original letter here for your perusal. The text, which is apparently in response to a previous letter from a supporter, reads: 

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Your letter meant alot and was very true! I know everything happens for a reason and I know "God" has a plan for me and something good will come out of this. The world just makes things out of false accusations and it will all die down, especially when they say NOT GUILTY and all the people who turned on me will feel like crap.

I've always been a great person and known for having an amazing heart! I am a strong person and nothing will break me! A C.O. will never nor can they say now for one day have I been down or not with a smile on my face. I know there is a reason I'm going thru this and I will figure it out through my relationship with the Lord. I fell off, especially after making all that money, but when it's all said and done "GOD" put me in the situation for a reason! I'm humbled by this ALREADY and this will change me forever. At least I'll know my true supporters. Thanks for being one of them!

P.S. The pictures are definitely hanging on my walls and def meant a lot! Thanks again brotha!

Thanks,

[Signature]

Can't wait to sign this again when I'm playing again and prove all the haters and [illegible] talkers WRONG.

*Keep this off social media PLEASE!

Here's the signature: 

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(The 81 refers to Hernandez's old number at the New England Patriots). 

Prosecutors are building a grand jury case against Hernandez related to a double murder in 2012, or one full football season ago. He's already facing a murder charge and five gun charges for the death of Odin Lloyd. Police haven't yet found the weapon used in that homicide, but authorities have released photos of Hernandez holding what appears to be a gun soon after the slaying. 

       

'Dads' Is Already a Problem for Fox

Seth MacFarlane strikes again. The new Fox show Dads—which MacFarlane executive produces—is already a pain in the behinds of Fox execs, if tales from the network's Television Critics Association press tour are any indication. 

Dads, to be honest, never had high aspiration. MacFarlane—who has had some issues with bad taste before—produces the work of two of his Family Guy writers Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild. We cringed even during the promo at Fox's network upfront back in May. That, we wrote, relied on "poop jokes and sexy Asian schoolgirl jokes." But at the TCAs today, Fox Entertainment Chairman Kevin Reilly faced a room full of critics who hated what they had seen of the show and wanted him to answer for the show's unrepentant racism. 

Dads stars Seth Green and Giovanni Ribisi as two guys whose fathers (Martin Mull and Peter Riegert) move in with them. That it's offensive is hard to deny. Jace Lacob of BuzzFeed tweeted: "The worst part of #Dads is that it is casually racist AND horrifically unfunny. Which is not a good combination, really." NPR's Linda Holmes explained that "it's mostly nasty about women of color." Even the show's format works against it, with Todd VanDerWerff writing: "Dads is actively hurt by the multi-cam, live-studio-audience format. Having people braying at 'ironic' racism makes it real racism." For further evidence: "Tiny China penis," is a line that is at one point uttered by one of the characters. You really don't need anymore context. 

Reilly defended the offensive content of the show by pointing to the creative team's ribald roots: "You know the lineage of those writers. They come out of Family Guy," he said, according to Variety. "They’re going to try to test a lot of boundaries and be equal-opportunity offenders. Are all the jokes calibrated? No." Reilly even admitted that, yes, Dads is offensive, AJ Marechal wrote, and needs work, but his main message was one of patience. Anticipating the—deserved—animosity, Reilly came prepared, reading pans of The Big Bang Theory from when it first aired. (That may not have been the best tactic, Holmes noted on Twitter, since critics tend to not like The Big Bang Theory despite its popularity.)

It's a natural thing to let a show, which may seem stale at first, develop over time, since comedy pilots often improve as the casts gels. But Dads has bigger hurdles to overcome, even before it airs September 17.

       

Al Qaeda-Linked Threat Prompts U.S. to Close Middle East Embassies on Sunday

The U.S. will temporarily shut down all of its embassies in the Middle East (and some in Asia) on Sunday in response to a possible threat connected to al-Qaeda, NBC News is reporting. They're not specifying which embassies will be closed, or how many. 

 State Department spokeswoman Marie Harf told NBC that the decision came after the U.S. was "apprised of information that out of an abundance of caution and care for our employees and others who may be visiting our installations, that indicates we should institute these precautionary steps," but didn't provide much more on the closures beyond that. The decision to close might be extended beyond Sunday, depending on what the department knows about the continuing threat. Here's what an unnamed official at the department said to the network about the closures: 

All embassies that are usually open in Sundays — primarily those in Muslim countries and Israel — would be closed Aug. 4 "out of an abundance of caution." Sunday is a normal workday in those countries. The officials said the threat appeared to have originated somewhere in the Middle East and to be related to al-Qaeda. It was aimed at overseas diplomatic posts, not at facilities inside the U.S., they said.

According to CNN, the main embassies in Egypt, Libya, Iraq and Kuwait will close, while the embassy in Sanaa, Yemen is under close watch. Their report says the closures will start over the next few days, stretching into Sunday. 

       

The Military Nixes Porn, SpongeBob, and the New York Review of Books

Sorry, smut and animated sponge fans serving in the United States military: Your selection of reading material is about to be seriously culled.

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This week, the Army and Air Force Exchange Service announced that it is permanently eliminating 891 publications from its stores. Those publications include The Saturday Evening Post, SpongeBob Comics, Home Buyer's Guide, The New York Review of Books, and 48 pornographic magazines. Yes, that means it'll be a little bit more difficult for members of the U.S. military to get their hands on Playboy, American Curves, and Penthouse.

The decision to pull these publications comes on the heels of a Morality in Media campaign to strip pornographic magazines from AAFES stores to "help curb the plague of sexual assaults that afflict the U.S. military," reports Kellie Lunney in Government Executive. In late July, the Pentagon informed Morality in Media that the magazines were simply "adult sophisticate material," meaning that the stores were allowed to sell them. 

The Pentagon and AAFES officials maintain that the decision had nothing to do with the Morality in Media campaign. In a statement, the AAFES public affairs chief said it was "a business decision driven by the time, money, and energy required to facilitate buying habits, combined with decreasing demand." 

If anything, the decision seems to be one more tale in the saga of print's decline. AAFES officials say sales of all magazines fell 18.3 percent from 2011 to 2012. Sales of "adult sophisticate titles" have declined 86 percent since 1998, along with other magazine sales. The statement, of course, blames the rise and expansion of digital magazines, and "exchange shoppers' increased reliance on digital devices to access content virtually."

While the print version of the New York Review of Books may be a beautiful thing, members of the military, like increasing numbers of civilians, seem to prefer to read it in pixels—or maybe not at all.