Atlantic Monthly Contributors's Blog, page 975

Why Are People Talking About Sidney Crosby's Trip to the DMV?

A debate broke out over whether or not celebrities in Pennsylvania should have to wait in line with mere mortals when renewing their license at the DMV, and nearly everyone sided with the poor, aggrieved party. 

See, in Pittsburgh, hockey player Sidney Crosby is a big enough deal to warrant special treatment at the DMV. Pennsylvania has a policy stating supervisors may grant prominent people the right to cut in line, like Crosby did, to ensure a scene doesn't develop. The thinking goes, allowing these people to cut will help maintain order so literal pandemonium doesn't break out, because a trip to the DMV is bad enough for everyone without pandemonium involved. 

For those of you who don't know, Crosby is the 26-year-old captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins. He's also the best in the world at what he does. They call him, "Sid the Kid," because his greatness has been foretold basically since birth. 

But certain people think Crosby does not deserve to skip the line, and they told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette as much after the captain got to zip in and out of the Duncan Manor DMV offices on Friday. "He should have to sit and wait with everyone else," said Susan Campbell, who spent hours helping her daughter renew her license before college. "He probably should have waited," said Sherry Davis, another angry mother. 

The tutt-tutting in the Post-Gazette set off a wave of people coming to Crosby's aid. Deadspin's Andy Hutchins had a full-throated defense of Crosby's right to cut the line: 

This is policy that exists not because Crosby is special, but because the general public ain't shit, and can't be reasonably expected to let celebrities be normal people, as Campbell's own daughter ("If I knew he was going to be there, I'd be down there in five minutes") proves.

The Sporting News' Sean Gentille had a similar theory. It's not Crosby that's the problem, it's how everyone behaves around him: 

Everyone at the DMV wants to get in, get out and get on with their life. It's bad enough without a swarm of people knocking over chairs to meet a hockey player. The "he should wait like everyone else" excuse doesn't work, because he literally cannot wait like everyone else.

Crosby can't help that he's famous, but the DMV can make his life -- and yours, be extension -- a whole lot easier by letting him bypass the hours long wait. "Anyway, Sidney Crosby is the worst, and the Allegheny County DMV is an enabler," joked Yahoo!'s Harrison Mooney, playing off the hubbub the story created. There was even an ESPN write-up, and ESPN rarely ever covers hockey. 

That Crosby's trip to the DMV warranted an 800 word write-up in the first place is silly enough, but the strong reactions and discussion sparked by the Post-Gazette's article are beyond ridiculous. Of course Crosby should skip the line at the DMV. But, also, of course there are going to be people who disapprove because they just spent five hours doing the same thing. 

Normally Crosby's every move and tick is watched with an intense fervor within the hockey world, but rarely does the scrutiny cross over into the mainstream like this. Such is the power of the DMV.

       

How Nick Beef Became Lee Harvey Oswald's Neighbor

For years, the identity and origin of the grave plot next to one of America's most notorious murderers confounded historians while also making them giggle under their breath. But now, all these years later, The New York Times revealed Nick Beef's true identity. 

The Nick Beef mystery started at some point in 1997, no one was sure when, after a grave marker appeared on the previously-vacant spot at the Shannon Rose Hill Cemetery, in Fort Worth, Texas, next to Lee Harvey Oswald. The graveyard wouldn't reveal anything because of privacy concerns, except that there was no internment card for any Nick Beef on file. The theories surrounding Beef's origin were wild. Historians and journalists tried to track down the infamous Beef, a comedian in New York City according to one widely accepted theory, to no avail. Others guessed it was put there on purpose for people looking to visit Oswald's grave too embarrassed to mention it out loud. Nick Beef had a backstory crafted the old fashioned way: through whispers and stories told from person to person, and occasionally on this new, cool thing called the Internet. 

The Times decided to reveal the truth, finally, in a scoop Saturday morning. The real Nick Beef is actually a guy named Patric Abedin, a 56-year-old "nonperforming performance artist" in New York City. He lived in Fort Worth in 1963, and had a brush with Kennedy during an appearance at an Air Force base where his father worked the day before the President was shot. Abedin purchased the plot when he was 18 years old. It was a connection, however morbid, to the President he saw who was killed a day later. But Abedin didn't do anything with it until a spur-of-the-moment decision that will make him live in infamy forever: 

In late 1996, Mr. Beef’s mother died, and he returned to Texas to follow the detailed instructions she had left for her own funeral. During his stay, he visited his real estate in Rose Hill and decided, on the spot, to buy a gravestone the exact dimensions as Oswald’s. When the cemetery official asked what he wanted on it, he thought about protecting his two children.

“Well, here we go,” he recalls thinking.

It's an interesting end to a hilarious story that has evaded the truth for years. Abedin paid a little over $1,000 for the plot and the headstone, contrary to popular belief. There's a website, seemingly run by Abedin, that you can check out. 

Oh, and the name? He thought of it while eating with a friend, who would call himself Hash Brown, during a road trip. 

       

Fans Are Furious After Disney Drops No 'Star Wars' News

Fans who packed into the Anaheim Convention Center for Disney’s live-action D23 panel on Saturday were left in a lurch, disappointed and upset, after it was revealed there would not be any news about the new Star Wars movies.

The beating Disney's taking online right now from voracious Star Wars fans ranges from the reasonably disappointed to, well, the not-so-reasonable: 

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The reaction wasn't entirely unexpected. Disney had warned people in advance there wouldn't be some big reveal today despite the buzz surrounding the panel. "But we didn’t expect it to be true," laments Entertainment Weekly's Lindsey Bahr. "If Disney doesn’t do anything Star Wars, that will be the headline on many blogs Monday morning," Slashfilm's Peter Sciretta said before the panel began. Sure enough, minutes after Disney chairman Alan Horn told the crowd there wouldn't be any news Slashflim had this headline up: "Disney Chief Insists ‘Star Wars: Episode VII’ Will Arrive in 2015; No New Info Coming From D23." His tweet could be considered a threat if that wasn't how everyone is covering the disappointment, in some way, ourselves included. 

But this is what movie studios can expect from scoop-hungry fans every time they have these big conventions. The reveal hype generated by places like Comic-Con, where fans learned Batman and Superman will be teaming up for the first time on screen this year, will drive fans to react like this whenever they're left with nothing. The expectations are there, and studios can meet them or face the wrath. But, in the end, these people are still going to line up for three months ahead of Episode Seven's release. 

       

Not Being Loved Caused Chris Brown's Seizure, According to Chris Brown

Weeks away from his (possible) retirement, Chris Brown is having some health issues, so maybe his timing is perfect. But Brown may need to search out a new medical staff to join his representation, because the current diagnosis is suspect.

Around 1 a.m. Friday, someone at the Record Plant recording studio in Los Angeles called 911 because Chris Brown was allegedly having a seizure. But Brown, TMZ reported, refused treatment when the EMTs showed up. Mystery surrounded the case, and we had questions like, why was Chris Brown having a seizure at a recording studio at 1 a.m. on a Friday morning? 

This was the explanation Brown's team gave the gossip blogs on Saturday: 

"His doctor tended to him this afternoon and attributes the [non-epileptic seizure] to intense fatigue and extreme emotional stress, both due to the continued onslaught of unfounded legal matters and the nonstop negativity."

But something tells me Brown's agent hasn't taken the Hippocratic Oath. Everyone being mean, as TMZ explained it, should not cause seizures. But the singer's team is right about one thing: Brown has continually faced legal trouble, and it recently landed him in jail. 

Brown spent about some time in an L.A. prison this week over a probation violation stemming from his 2009 felony assault charge for hitting Rihanna. The singer allegedly refused to give over his proper information after a car accident, and then left the scene. The hit-and-run misdemeanour landed him in jail for a matter of minutes, which must have been supremely stressful. 

But the explanation seems dubious none the less. Perhaps hinting towards that retirement, Brown echoed his agent's sentiments with a late Saturday night tweet:

They won't love u until u r a memory...

— Chris Brown (@chrisbrown) August 10, 2013

If Brown follows through with his threats to retire at the ripe age of 24 after his next album, X, is released on August 20, then everyone would get what they want. Brown wouldn't necessarily be loved, but many would love that he's gone. Brown's health troubles would disappear. Maybe the time off is a good idea. 

       

The End Nears for Cory Booker's Terrible, No Good Startup

Waywire, the video sharing startup founded by Newark mayor Cory Booker and funded by Google's Eric Schimidt, Oprah, and LinkedIn's Jeff Weiner, is for sale. What a shock! But no one's really certain how much the company is worth, and it's increasingly becoming a headache for Booker when he wants to focus on a Senate campaign. But that problem may not last much longer.

This morning, The New York Times reported Waywire's leadership have been trying to cash in via a purchase or merger with another company. So far, nobody's buying. They've approached multiple companies in the last few months, unprompted, inquiring about a potential interest in buying Waywire. But no one is certain how much the startup is worth, and the looming departure of its biggest asset, Cory Booker, would certainly drive down the asking price:

Spurring that push by Waywire, according to people who were told the thinking of the partners, were two factors: an increasingly clear sense that the company was not making progress toward its goals, and the likely need to sever ties with Mr. Booker, a Democrat, once he entered the race — and instantly became the front-runner — for the now-vacant Senate seat in New Jersey.

If Waywire loses one of the few things keeping them relevant -- their relation to Booker and his millions of Twitter followers -- once he enters the Senate race, it will go south, fast. You know, in case things weren't heading there already. 

To hear Waywire and Cory Booker tell it, his founding investment was between $1 million and $5 million. But, shockingly, there are some who disagree with that valuation. Waywire is one of many Pinterest for video knockoffs, as Quartz's Tim Fernholz has explained, and not a particularly good one at that. The startup has already gone through a round of layoffs and moved out of their Manhattan office since its inception a little . Things aren't bleak yet, but they're heading in that direction. 

Which is probably why Waywire's value has a very high ceiling and very low basement. Waywire could be worth anywhere between zero dollars and $10 million, an industry expert recently explained to The Atlantic Wire's Phillip Bump. The valuation would be on the higher end of that spectrum if there was some interesting technology working behind Waywire, but he guessed that wasn't the case. It's "all about how many users they have," he said, and the answer for Waywire is not good. Earlier this week, the Times reported Waywire only had 2,207 unique visitors in July. 

For Booker, his connection to the company is increasingly becoming a problem. Since the story about Waywire broke in the Times earlier this week, he's increasingly faced scrutiny from the press and other candidates in the Senate race for his involvement. It was also embarrassing when the Times revealed Andrew Zucker, the15-year-old son of CNN president (and Booker pal) Jeff Zucker, was on the Waywire advisory board, for whatever reason. (Heckuva summer job, kiddo.) Zucker resigned shortly after. (Sorry, kiddo.)

But, at the same time, Booker's political prospects are like teflon at this point. Whether or not he's involved in a messy startup won't hurt his Senate chances. The Democratic primary is Tuesday. 

       

Hillary Clinton Miniseries May Turn Fox and NBC Into Strange Bedfellows

Despite political pressure from both sides of the aisle, there are talks happening behind the scenes that may lead to an unlikely team working together to produce this controversial Hillary Clinton miniseries. The New York Times' Bill Carter reports the "odd" team of NBC and Fox Television Studios are in early talks to co-produce the four part Hillary Clinton miniseries, released in 2016 ahead of a yet-to-be-announced presidential run, that network chairman Robert Greenblatt announced last week at a Television Critics Association panel. The Hollywood Reporter says this is happening, too. 

Neither company seems to care about the project's criticism coming from all sides, too, which is slightly surprising. Inside the NBC machine, White House correspondent Chuck Todd called the miniseries a "nightmare" while Andrea Mitchell said it was "a very bad idea." But the project also drew harsh criticism outside NBC because it's part of a Hillary-heavy 2016 slate. CNN is also producing a Clinton documentary, and there's a feature length film hitting the big screen, too. Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus said the onslaught of Hillary-ness was a "deep disappointment" and threatened to withhold Republican support for the 2016 debates if each network goes ahead with their movies. And the projects drew criticism from the liberal-leaning Media Matters for America, too, when founder David Brock lent his support to Preibus' cause. Basically no one thought it was a great idea. 

How Brock and Preibus feel about this latest development is still a mystery, but it'll be interesting to see how that plays out. Preibus appears on Fox News from time to time. 

Carter is certainly right about one thing, regardless of whether this deal comes to fruition: an NBC and Fox partnership sure would be odd. These are the entertainment arms of each company, sure, but the news and political arms are mortal enemies. MSNBC is the left's answer to Fox News's conservative bent. To have the two companies team up, even if it's the non-news sides, is akin to watching two enemies fall into bed together. 

       

Maybe Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Enjoyed This Festival Too Much

So videos emerged late Friday night of Rob Ford, still the mayor of Toronto, embarrassing himself but not in the way you're expecting, unfortunately. Ford was caught wandering the streets of Canada's biggest city alone, perhaps a little tipsy during a street festival. 

Two videos showing Ford interacting with his constituents during Toronto's Taste of Danforth Street festival was uploaded to Youtube Friday night. In the video above, Ford plainly states his desire to party with a group of young people getting their pictures taken with the mayor. In the other video, below, Ford insists he's not driving tonight to no one in particular.

Toronto Now tracked down the video's uploader, a Toronto student named Mala, who said the mayor was "a little bit of slurring," to the mayor's speech, and that Ford showed up alone in his trademark black SUV. Eventually the mayor's staff showed up en masse but still couldn't reel Ford in. "When they arrived they seemed very concerned," Mala told the Sun. "It just looked like they couldn't' control him. He wanted to go, so everybody went with him."

This would be acceptable behavior for a politician -- hey, we all get a little wet behind the ears sometimes -- but Ford's leash is shorter than most. This is the mayor who has a history of getting loaded and embarrassing in public. Ford was thrown out of a military gala last year allegedly for being intoxicated. He also got into a confrontation of sorts after chewing out a woman at a Maple Leafs hockey game a few years ago. Oh, yeah, and don't forget the whole (alleged!) fan-fiction inspiring crack video scandal, too. 

Once the video started gaining steam online, and gain steam it did, it was clearly another low moment for Ford and the city. (And his poor, depleted staff, too.) "Rob Ford, livening up my old neighbourhood," said National Post scribe Bruce Arthur. "Can someone make out what he's saying," asked Toronto Star reporter Robyn Doolittle. "Rob Ford, continuing embarrassment," said writer Sarah Weinman. Perhaps investigative reporter Tim Bousquet had the only suitable response to the video: "Oh Rob Ford." That's really all you can say at this point. 

       

Erin Burnett's Cringe-Inducing Discussion of Oprah Winfrey's Brush with Racism

CNN's Erin Burnett, covering the story of the Swiss store that told Oprah Winfrey a purse she wanted to see was "too expensive," offered a cringe-worthy assessment of the situation. Burnett first falsely suggested that Oprah herself was trying to play the race card and then compared Winfrey to a hooker.

Burnett's remarkably tone-deaf commentary can speak for itself. At the beginning of the segment, she played a clip of the Entertainment Tonight segment during which Oprah first told the story.

In the clip, Winfrey says, "I could have had the big blow-up thing, and thrown down the black card and all that stuff, but why do that?" Burnett then picks up the interview with filmmaker Safiya Songhai.

Oprah's made it very clear. She thought this was an act of racism; she was subjected to racism. She says, look, I could have thrown down the whole black thing, but I chose not to.

"The whole black thing," Burnett says. Winfrey could have "thrown down the whole black thing." Except that it is obviously not what Winfrey said. When Winfrey says "thrown down the black card," she makes a gesture as though she's putting down a credit card. Because that's what Winfrey means: she could have laid down the exclusive black American Express she carries to show that she could afford the purse, but she didn't. Winfrey even accentuates "card" — "I could have thrown down the black card" versus "the black card" — but Burnett doesn't pick up on it. Because to Burnett, Winfrey is being overreactive in suggesting it's about race.

In fact, Burnett has a theory for why Winfrey didn't get service. Maybe, she implies, it was about class. And she has a movie clip to make her point.

Yes, Burnett says that it may not have been about race — it may instead have been like the scene in Pretty Woman, when a prostitute is turned away from a high-end store. "It's sort of like that moment," Burnett says. She continues:

They didn't want a hooker in their store, and they knew she was a hooker. But you look now, and they say, well, was it just that they thought she couldn't afford it. And if so, even if it wasn't overt racism, did they say, well, because this woman's black, she can't afford it.

This is literally what Burnett says. The most generous assessment of that statement is that perhaps the store wasn't being racist, they simply thought that because Winfrey's a woman who's black, she can't afford it.

Which is the definition of racism. 

It's easy to see how race played a role in Winfrey's experience. Burnett tries twice to suggest it's not, first by implying Winfrey threatened to play the race card (which she didn't), and second by saying that it may have just been because they assumed Winfrey was poor because she was black (which is racist).

There's a reason that Winfrey is the most powerful woman in media.

       

Erin Burnett's Cringe-Inducing Discussion of Oprah Winfrey's Zurich Incident

CNN's Erin Burnett, covering the story of the Swiss store that told Oprah Winfrey a purse she wanted to see was "too expensive," offered a cringe-worthy assessment of the situation. Burnett first falsely suggested that Oprah herself was trying to play the race card and then compared Winfrey to a hooker.

Burnett's remarkably tone-deaf commentary can speak for itself. At the beginning of the segment, she played a clip of the Entertainment Tonight segment during which Oprah first told the story.

In the clip, Winfrey says, "I could have had the big blow-up thing, and thrown down the black card and all that stuff, but why do that?" Burnett then picks up the interview with filmmaker Safiya Songhai.

Oprah's made it very clear. She thought this was an act of racism; she was subjected to racism. She says, look, I could have thrown down the whole black thing, but I chose not to.

"The whole black thing," Burnett says. Winfrey could have "thrown down the whole black thing." Except that it is obviously not what Winfrey said. When Winfrey says "thrown down the black card," she makes a gesture as though she's putting down a credit card. Because that's what Winfrey means: she could have laid down the exclusive black American Express she carries to show that she could afford the purse, but she didn't. Winfrey even accentuates "card" — "I could have thrown down the black card" versus "the black card" — but Burnett doesn't pick up on it. Because to Burnett, Winfrey is being overreactive in suggesting it's about race.

In fact, Burnett has a theory for why Winfrey didn't get service. Maybe, she implies, it was about class. And she has a movie clip to make her point.

Yes, Burnett says that it may not have been about race — it may instead have been like the scene in Pretty Woman, when a prostitute is turned away from a high-end store. "It's sort of like that moment," Burnett says. She continues:

They didn't want a hooker in their store, and they knew she was a hooker. But you look now, and they say, well, was it just that they thought she couldn't afford it. And if so, even if it wasn't overt racism, did they say, well, because this woman's black, she can't afford it.

This is literally what Burnett says. The most generous assessment of that statement is that perhaps the store wasn't being racist, they simply thought that because Winfrey's a woman who's black, she can't afford it.

Which is the definition of racism. 

Winfrey has suggested that the issue was race. Burnett tries twice to suggest it's not, first by implying Winfrey threatened to play the race card (which she didn't), and second by saying that it may have just been because they assumed Winfrey was poor because she was black (which is racist).

There's a reason that Winfrey is the most powerful woman in media.

       

The Obama Press Conference Questions, Ranked

For a reporter, there are few higher honors than being called upon by the president to ask a question at a nationally televised press conference. During President Obama's rare press conference on Friday, only eight reporters had that chance. We decided to rate how they did.

The ground rules: We only considered the original questions, not their follow-ups, or their jokes. The rating is completely subjective and yet, oddly, completely correct. It's worth remembering the context: This was the first scheduled press conference since late April, one predicated largely on the president's announcement of reforms to a recently revealations about the nation's surveillance system.

The ranking

1. Carol Lee, Wall Street Journal

I wanted to ask you about your evolution on the surveillance issues. I mean, part of what you're talking about today is restoring the public trust. And the public has seen you evolve from when you were in the U.S. Senate to now.

And even as recently as June, you said that these — the process was such that people should be comfortable with it. And now you're saying — you're making these reforms and people should be comfortable with those. So why should the public trust you on this issue and why did you change your position multiple times?

Lee wins this one fairly easily. Position counts. That she was the fourth reporter to ask a question but still hit on an important issue — how the president has apparently shifted his position and the political repercussions of doing so — is significant.

And it elicited an interesting answer, both in terms of Obama's defense of his record and in terms of the most-quoted snippet, in which Obama discussed doing the dishes. (What a weird answer that was.)

2. Jonathan Karl, ABC News

You have said that core al-Qaida has been decimated, that its leaders are on the run. Now that we've seen this terror threat that has resulted in embassies closed throughout the Arab world, much of Africa, do you still believe that al-Qaida has been decimated? And if I can ask, in the interest of transparency, can you tell us about these drone strikes that we've seen over the last couple of weeks in Yemen?

Karl followed Lee, and asked a similarly pertinent question, about the recent terror alerts. He didn't get as interesting an answer — with the exception of "we are not going to completely eliminate terrorism" — but it was a solid and appropriate question to ask.

3. Scott Horsley, NPR

Part of the political logic behind immigration reform was the strong showing by Latino voters last November, you know. That doesn't seem to resonate with a lot of House Republicans, who represent overwhelmingly white districts. What other political leverage can you bring to bear to help move a bill in the house?

If you have the last question, as Horsley did, it's likely that you're stuck with one of the worst questions. But Horlsey (thanks in part to some bad questions preceding him) asked the first question on an immediate policy concern, immigration reform. Obama's response was a tacit admission that he had no more leverage to use, which is neither surprising nor insignificant. And it got a good line from the president: "I don't know a law that solves a problem a hundred percent."

4. Julie Pace, Associated Press

I wanted to ask about some of the foreign policy fallout from the disclosure of the NSA programs that you discussed. Your spokesman said yesterday that there's no question that the U.S. relationship with Russia has gotten worse since Vladimir Putin took office. How much of that decline do you attribute directly to Mr. Putin, given that you seem to have had a good working relationship with his predecessor?

Also, will there be any additional punitive measures taken against Russia for granting asylum to Edward Snowden, or is canceling the September summit really all you can do given the host of issues the U.S. needs Russian cooperation for?

Pace was mostly relegated to fourth place because she had the lead-off question and used it to focus on Russia. Good question — if you're asking question number three. But for the lead-off, something closer to the topic at-hand might be expected.

Obama's announcement today prompts scads of questions. What will the Patriot Act reforms look like? There's a good question, Pace! Try that! How will FISA Court changes work? How can you instantiate surveillance reforms that aren't overturned by future presidents! This is just off the top of our heads, but they are better questions than Pace's.

5. Jessica Yellin, CNN

Republicans in the House might give you that choice soon to either allow the government to shut down, or see "Obamacare" defunded. Would you choose to let the government shut down to ensure that "Obamacare" remains funded?

Yellin asked a question on an important issue — but it was clear that Henry, who went before her, stepped on what she'd planned to ask. That left her a little flat.

But just because she asked about an important issue doesn't mean she asked a good question. Of course the president isn't going to say he'd let the government be shut down to protect Obamacare. For one thing, he realizes it's an empty threat and, for another, a key part of negotiation is not to say you will capitulate to stupid demands.

6. Major Garrett, CBS News

I'd like to ask you about this debate that's playing itself out in editorial pages and the blogosphere, even in the Senate Democratic caucus, about the choice you eventually will make of the next Federal Reserve chairman.

There is a perception among Democrats that Larry Summers has the inside track, and perhaps, you've made some assurances to him about that. Janet Yellen is the vice-chair of the Federal Reserve; there are many women in the Senate who are Democrats who believe that breaking the glass ceiling, that would be historic and important. …

Are you annoyed by this sort of roiling debate? Do you find it in any way unseemly? And do you believe this will be one of the most important, if not the most important, economic decisions you will make in the remainder of your presidency?

No one cares about the Fed Chair. No one. (Ezra Klein doesn't count.) You get the third question and you use it to ask about the replacement for a guy who isn't leaving his position that no one cares about until January of next year?

What is the thought process here? One has to assume that perhaps Garrett thought he might not get a question? Or that he'd come later? Or maybe he had an agreement with Obama to throw him a softball — Obama relished getting this question — in order to break up what Obama thought would be a tougher event? Who knows.

Luckily for Garrett, there were much stupider questions to come.

7. Ed Henry, Fox News

want to ask you about two important dates that are coming up. October 1st, you're going to implement your signature health care law. You recently decided on your own to delay a key part of that. And I wonder, if you pick and choose what parts of the law to implement, couldn't your successor down the road pick and choose whether they'll implement your law and keep it in place?

And on September 11th we'll have the first anniversary of Benghazi. And you said on September 12th, make no mistake, we'll bring to justice to killers who attacked our people. Eleven months later, where are they, sir?

We get it, Fox. You are carrying the torch on Benghazi. Understood. But: "Eleven months later, where are they, sir?" That is — and this is said without exaggeration — a question as stupid as when that teenager asked Jay Carney about George Zimmerman.

In part because the administration filed an indictment this week! No, the guy hasn't been caught, but just a few days ago there was actual action on this! And then Henry got demolished by Obama's response: "I also said we'd get bin Laden, and we didn't get him in 11 months." Crushed.

The Obamacare question was better, if not great. Henry should have stuck with that.

8. Chuck Todd, NBC News

Given that you just announced a whole bunch of reforms based on essentially the leaks that Edward Snowden made on all of these surveillance programs, does that change — is your mindset changed about him? Is he now more a whistle-blower than he is a hacker, as you called him at one point, or somebody that shouldn't be filed charges? And should he be provided more protection? Is he a patriot? You just used those words. And then just to follow up on the personal — I want to follow up on a personal … can you get stuff done with Russia, big stuff done, without having a good personal relationship with Putin?

Chuck Todd, man.

Chuck Todd got the second question at this presser and used it to ask if Obama and Putin can still work together if they aren't friends. Todd realizes, we assume, that the president is a grown human being and the leader of a nation and therefore probably is somewhat adept at working with people and / or resolving differences. Hey, Obama, can you get "stuff" done with Putin even if you aren't BFFs? This was question number two.

But that was the good part of the question. Chuck Todd, a person paid to ask incisive questions, asked the trolliest question perhaps in the history of White House questions: Is Edward Snowden a patriot?

What the fuck do you think the president is going to say? Of course the president will not say he thinks Edward Snowden, resident of Russia, is a patriot. Which Todd of course knew, and of course knew would get lots of pick-up among the media. And sure enough, everyone tweeted Obama's response, and now Chuck Todd gets to go on NBC News and tell everyone that, no, Obama doesn't think Snowden is a patriot and was know this because he, Chuck Todd, thought to ask. Had Obama, perhaps suffering from some impairment, said Snowden was a patriot, Todd would have been on every nightly news cast from now until the Sochi Olympics. There should be a name for this kind of trolly, reporter-can't-lose question, and it should not be named after Chuck Todd, since he'd only enjoy it.

Last place, Chuck Todd. The end.