Atlantic Monthly Contributors's Blog, page 927

This Is How 'Breaking Bad' Ends

First thing's first: do not read further if you haven't seen the last episode of Breaking Bad and you're not in the mood to read a spoiler. 

It's all over, and the conclusion, as far as end-of-series episodes goes, wraps up quite a lot of loose ends, if not all of them. Going into the last episode, glass of rye left on the bar counter, all Walt had left to do was figure out how to get the money to his family, as he's always intended. His plan to do this ends up addressing Walt's unfinished business as bit by bit unfolds. There are two parts of the finale: Walt wrapping it up with the people he wants to live, and Walt seeking revenge on the people he wants to die. First up: the living. Now that his son has refused to accept money from him, Walt uses/scares the crap out of his former business partner, Elliott Schwartz, to ensure that the money gets to Walt Jr. anyway, without his son's knowledge. Then, Walt moves on to part two of family closure: Skyler. Skyler, approached by Walt in her small apartment, gets a piece of paper with the location of Hank's body, and, presumably, her freedom from investigative purgatory in the form of a bargaining chip for the feds — meaning she'll get her life back, without Walt. Then, he takes care of the Judgement Day part of the finale: killing who deserves to be killed. While a lot has been said about whether Walt deserves redemption or not, he certainly ends everything very much in control: the people he wishes dead are dead. Those he wants to live, live. Here's a full breakdown of the mercy and destruction: 

Who Lives 

[image error]Gretchen and Elliott Schwartz: In the first sinister scene of the episode, Walt threatens his former friends into providing Walt Jr. with a windfall in 10 months, on his 18th birthday. They, as far as anyone can tell, will get to live and fund the remaining members of Walt's family with the millions left in their living room. 

Badger, Skinny Pete: Surprise! Badger and Skinny Pete, Jesse's friends back from way back, was hired as a laser pointer "hitman" by Walt to threaten the Schwartz — they mistook the lasers for sniper rifles, at the encouragement of a series of threats from Walt to make sure they carry through his plan. As Shakespeare Twitter noted, the pair of Jesse's friends were more or less resurfaced as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. And Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead. But not Badger and Skinny Pete, apparently! 

Saul Goodman: We're presuming here. Saul is gone to Nebraska, far far away from all of this, hoping to manage a Cinnabon one day. We'll see you in the spinoff, Saul.  

Walt's remaining family: Walter White Jr. a.k.a. Flynn, Marie Schrader, and Skyler White (along with Holly) all live, presumably with all but Marie benefitting from the "Schwartz's" windfall donation to Walt Jr. The family, more or less, gets the closure they need from Walt— including the location of Hank's body. 

Jesse Pinkman: He's free, after killing his tormenter Todd, and refusing to do his other tormenter, Walt's work. Jesse gets the closest to a "driving off into the sunset" ending of anyone else. 

Who Dies

The Neo Nazis: Killed by Walt's machine gun car contraption. The patriarch, Jack, is shot by Walt, after trying to buy more time by promising to reveal the location of Walt's money. 

Todd Alquist: The psychopathic neo-Nazi meth cook with a face of gold is strangled by Jesse, with the chains used to shackle Jesse to the lab. 

[image error] Lydia Rodarte-Quayle: Finally, the ricin finds its home. Walt slips it into her tea, always made just so, by swiping out her stevia for it. At the end of the episode, she has about 24 hours to live as flu-like symptoms set in.

Walter White: This one is obvious. Walt dies, apparently killed by his own contraption, though he was going to die sooner or later anyway. Before he dies, Walt gives Skyler the words she wanted to hear: "I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it...I was alive," He said, with a similar send-off to Pinkman. He ends it all in the Nazi meth lab, set up to his standards by Todd, and later Jesse. Dead on the floor, grasping a gas mask, Walt is stepped over as the cops sweep the scene, not yet knowing that everything that needs to be done is done. 

       

France Was So Close to a Syria Strike Before the U.S. Changed its Mind

French fighter jets were ready for takeoff when president Francois Hollande got a surprising phone call from Barack Obama delaying a planned military strike in the country, according to a report in French weekly Nouvel Observateur. That call came just before President Obama announced to the U.S. on Saturday, August 31 that the country wouldn't be taking military action against Syria right away. 

According to the report, Hollande was hours away from authorizing the French contributions to the planned strikes, apparently scheduled for later Saturday night at 3 a.m. Believing that Obama's call would confirm the plan, Hollande set up a meeting with his war team for directly after the scheduled call. France was, in some ways, the most enthusiastic about taking action against Syria. And it sounds like France was prepared: the administration had speeches prepared to justify the action to the French people. It had a plan of action: fly jets, armed with cruise missiles, over international waters in the Mediterranean in order to avoid prompting Syria to retaliate against any of its neighbors. Because of the limitations of the French weapons, the country's targets were limited to Western Syria, including Damascus. The U.S. was going to strike the rest of the targets. On the phone with Obama, the French leader reportedly tried to get Obama to stick to the plan, but the U.S. had decided to go ahead with seeking congressional approval before a military strike. France had also prepared a declassified summary of intelligence on Syria, much as the U.S. had done, to sway skeptics on the plan. 

Obama's decision to back off of a military strike on Syria was, by most reports, a last-minute one. As the U.N. inspectors cleared out of the country on Friday night, the president was still ready to go ahead and strike without congressional or international approval. After a week of deliberation, Obama overruled all of his national security advisors, made the call to France, and told the American people that Congress would approve any plan for military action in Syria. 

Of course, we're in a different place now one month later. Any plan to strike Syria is on hold while the U.N. takes baby steps with an enforceable resolution to rid the country of its chemical weapons stockpile. After tough negotiations this week, the U.N. Security Council unanimously passed an agreement that outlines a plan to destroy Syria's stockpile. But while that resolution is enforceable, it contains no specific provisions in the event that Syria doesn't comply. If that happens, the council will have to reconvene and negotiate all over again. 

       

Saudi Cleric Says Driving Hurts Women's Ovaries

Women are fighting for the right to drive in Saudi Arabia right now, but one conservative cleric made his position clear over the weekend when he said that women cannot drive because it damages their ovaries and could potentially harm their children.

The website sabq.org published an interview with Sheikh Saleh bin Saad al-Lohaidan on Friday in which the cleric said women who want the country to overturn its ban on women driving, which started in the 90s, should put "reason ahead of their hearts, emotions and passions." What does he mean, you ask? Well, according to al-Lohaidan, women are especially in danger because driving hurts their lady parts. Here are the cleric's comments,
    

Baseball Season Closed With the Strangest No-Hitter Ever

It's the final day of the baseball season, and while other teams were thinking about the post season, Miami just wanted things to come to an end after a dismal year. And then Miami Marlins pitcher Henderson Álvarez had the game of his life. He was standing in the on-deck circle, waiting for his turn at bat, when his first career no-hitter was officially recorded into the history books. The fifth no-hitter this season had one of the most bizarre finishes in baseball history. 

Álvarez threw nine full innings of no hit baseball -- striking out four batters along the way -- against the Detroit Tigers on Sunday, but the game was still tied going into the bottom of the ninth. The abysmal Marlins offense couldn't muster a single run the entire game to help him out. But then, in that inning, something very odd happened. Giancarlo Stanton stepped up to the plate with two outs and the bases loaded. A strike out would the game to extra innings; a hit potentially secures the no-hitter for Álvarez. This is what happened: 

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Stanton didn't have to do anything. The game ended on a wild pitch from Luke Putkonen. The place goes crazy. The team lost 100 games and missed the playoffs after ownership traded their best player to Toronto before the season started, so Marlins fans haven't had much to cheer about this year. Saving the best moment for the last game of the year, long after any remaining hope was lost, was the plan all along, right? 

The ending truly was historic. ESPN's stats department quickly pointed out it was the first walk-off no-hitter (when the game ends abruptly in the final inning) in sixteen years. "You're not likely to see a no-hitter like this again in your lifetime, so soak it in," writes Deadspin's Timothy Burke. Weird things have happened during no-hitters before, as Grantland's Jonah Keri pointed out on Twitter after the game ended, but this finish was nearly unbelievable. Álvarez made sure to share the moment with his pregnant wife and unborn child before heading off to the dugout for the team's official celebration, per Buzzfeed's Erik Malinowski: 

Awwww. 

       

The Forecast Calls for 'Meatballs'

Welcome to the Box Office Report, where it's always raining meatballs in our dreams. 

1. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (Sony): $35 million in 4,001 theaters

The first Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was one of the most genuinely charming animated movies in recent memory and one of 2009's surprise hits. That the sequel is successful after four years of free word of mouth promotion should come as no surprise. Bill Hader thankfully returned to voice the lead, free of his Saturday Night Live commitments. Add positive audience reviews and a proven money-making weekend for kids movies (Sony struck gold with Hotel Transylvania last year) and you've got the perfect recipe for a breakout opening. 

2. Prisoners (Warner): $11.3 million in 3,290 theaters [Week 2]

Paul Dano's right eye delivers an absolutely stunning performance, in case you were wondering. 

3. Rush (Universal): $10.3 million in 2,297 theaters

For some reason the story of F1 driver Niki Lauda didn't capture your attention on its first weekend in wide release. The Ron Howard-helmed sports movie at least won rave reviews from ESPN's Bill Simmons, who called it his "favorite sports movie in years."

Sorry, Moneyball, you're second in line now. 

4. Baggage Claim (Fox): $9.3 million in 2,027 theaters

Coming soon to a theater near you: Waiting Room. 

5. Don Jon (Relativity): $9 million in 2,422 theaters

Poor, poor Joseph Gordon-Levitt. His problematic movie about a porn-addicted Jersey Shore type who falls in love with Scarlett Johansson, which he wrote, directed and stars in, didn't charm your wallet. This may mark the official end of our culture's obsession with all things Jersey. Perhaps we've finally moved on. 

 

       

Ted Cruz Tries to Pass the Buck

Sen. Ted Cruz desperately tried to blame Sen. Majority leader Harry Reid for the impending government shutdown during his appearance on NBC's Meet the Press Sunday morning. Cruz accused Harry Reid of using "brute political force" to fund Obamacare. "If we have a shutdown, it will be because Harry Reid holds that absolutist position and essentially holds the American people hostage," Cruz said. Never mind that the Obamacare bill already passed both houses and was upheld by the Supreme Court: in the mind of Ted Cruz, this government shutdown is the Democrats' fault because they won't bend to Republican wishes. "So far, Majority Leader Harry Reid has essentially told the House of Representatives and the American people, 'go jump in a lake,'" Cruz said. "He says, ‘I’m not willing to compromise, I’m not willing to even talk. His position is, 100 percent of Obamacare must be funded in all instances. Other than that, he’s going to shut the government down. Cruz complimented the efforts from House Republicans to delay Obamacare even though that plan isn't as strong as his initial proposal. He also called on Harry Reid to act on the House bill as early as possible, perhaps by convening on Sunday, despite the Democrat's promise to kill the House bill. "I hope [Reid] backs away from that ledge that he’s pushing us toward," Cruz said.

Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin conceded on CBS's Face the Nation that Democrats could take a closer look at the medical device tax that House Republicans included in their continuing resolution, but only under calmer circumstances. "I'm willing to look at that, but not with a gun to my head, not with the prospect of shutting down government," Durbin said. The Illinois Democrat also said he was certain the government would shutdown after the House's vote on Saturday night. Durbin blames this mess of a crisis on a small faction within the Republican party. "Seventy-five percent of Republicans in America reject this tea party strategy of shutting down government," he said. 

House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy thinks the House can still pass another bill to keep the government open with Obamacare revisions even if the Senate rejects the bill currently on the table. "We will pass a bill -- if the Senate [rejects the current House bill] -- that will keep the government open, that will reflect the House that I believe the Senate can accept," McCarthy said on Fox News Sunday. This last minute bill "will have fundamental changes into Obamacare that can protect the economy for America." Harry Reid has said the Senate will not accept a continuing resolution that includes Obamacare concessions. The President has said he won't sign any bill that alters his landmark health care bill in any way. But McCarthy thinks "there are a lot of items on the table," because he is a sunny-eyed optimist. "We are not shutting the government down," he promised. 

       

Tina Fey Embarrasingly Introduces the New 'SNL' Cast Members

After a long, uncertain layoff, NBC's Saturday Night Live returned last night with a old friend brought in to guide the fresh crop of faces coming in this season. Already there are fears that this will be one of the show's infamous down seasons. So, how did the premiere go? 

It's no secret that Saturday Night Live is in a transition year. The departure of Kristen Wiig, Andy Samberg, Jason Sudeikis, Fred Armisen and Bill Hader over the last two seasons -- with Seth Meyers exiting in February, too -- left a major hole for Lorne Michaels to fill over the summer, and new faces were brought in as part of the biggest casting change in over a decade. The spotlight was on the remaining cast members, especially Taran Killam, Cecily Strong and Kate MacKinnon, to help balance the show's obvious tumult.

If last night's cold open was any indication, those three names will be the show's guiding lights for much of SNL's 39th season. Jay Pharaoh's toothless Obama impression -- impressively accurate but not all that funny -- hosted an Obamacare press conference. SNL's first episode back is always a way to catch up on the news, with Obamacare, the new iPhone and the impending government shutdown all touched on here. Killam's Ted Cruz impression didn't kill right away but it was clearly brimming with promise. But McKinnon was the first sketch's highlight as an overworked, smoking ER doctor. "Obamacare or no Obamacare, people need to stop putting stuff up their butts," she says, earning the season's first big laugh.

Oh, some guy came out and talked about meth? Not sure what that was about. Seemed like a rogue audience member but the show just rolled with it. Live TV!

What better way to meet the new cast members than watching them shake their unmentionables in airtight gold hot pants. Tina Fey got to torture the new kids -- Beck Bennett, John Milhiser, Kyle Mooney, Mike O’Brien, Noel Wells, and Brooks Wheelan -- because dancing behind the host is a right of passage in Studio 8H. 

Noel Wells got the best debut of any new cast member as Hannah Horvath in the excellent Girls parody that played right after the monologue. Vanessa Bayer shined as Shoshanna, too. (At first I was convinced it was the real Shosh, so, yeah.) But it was Fey who dominated the sketch as the new Albanian friend, Blerta. 

Cecily Strong's much-hyped tenure as Weekend Update host went off without a hitch. There was no pomp or circumstance before Strong and Seth Meyers dived into the week's headlines. She did take a moment to thank the many female Weekend Update anchors who came before her, setting up an lovely, inspiring pep talk from Tina Fey. A nice torch passing moment if there ever was one. 

The season's first episode was, on the whole, a little disappointing. It wasn't surprising that they chose to close with one of last year's most popular recurring sketches, the Swarovski Crystal girls. So many people love these sketches and, yeah, they were funny last year but this one didn't even feel original. It was almost an exact copy of the same sketch from last year's Timberlake episode. 

       

The Olympic Torch's Journey Officially Begins Today

The 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia are roughly four months away, and the Olympic torch has to travel over 40,000 miles on its journey, not including a quick jaunt up to space, before the opening ceremony on February 7. That quest began Sunday morning in Greece. 

Olympic brass, athletes, actresses dressed like ancient priestesses and onlookers all gathered for the torch lighting ceremony in Ancient Olympia, Greece. A theatrical prelude to the opening ceremony kicked off an impressive journey for the torch that will see it travel all across Russia before the games begin, the Associated Press explains:

The Russian leg of the torch relay is set to cover more than 40,000 miles before the Winter Games, carrying the torch by hot-air balloon, dog sled and a nuclear-powered ice breaker before its scheduled trip to space on Nov. 7.

The sun's rays were harnessed using a parabolic mirror to light the torch. This doesn't seem safe, but we're not fire experts, and the ceremony went off without a hitch: 

Yes! Hooray! The Olympic Torch is lit using the sun’s rays. #sochi2014 pic.twitter.com/F3360TlzMy

— Sochi 2014 (@Sochi2014) September 29, 2013

The first athlete to carry the torch was 18-year-old Greek skier Ioannis Antoniou, who then handed it off to Russian hockey superstar, Alexander Ovechkin. In turn, Ovechkin became the happiest man alive: 

So sick!!!!!!!best moment in my life!!!thx @cocacola and Sochi 2014 !!!! pic.twitter.com/6UQIU48lec

— Alex Ovechkin (@ovi8) September 29, 2013

Too bad his dreams will be crushed on the ice when Canada wallops the Russian squad.

       

Who Won the Greatest Debate in American History, Blitzer or Bachmann?

Undoubtedly hoping to once and for all settle this "Obamacare" thing, Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota appeared on CNN on Friday to defend the Republican push to defund it. Host Wolf Blitzer challenged Bachmann's assertions, leading to a lively-if-weird segment.

So who won the debate? To figure this out, we went point-by-point, awarding points and evaluating the debate. We don't want to give away the ending (Blitzer won) so read on! (The full clip isn't yet at the CNN website, but it is available at Mediaite.com.)

Round 1: Will women and children will die under Obamacare?

CNN introduced the segment by noting Bachmann's comments from the floor of the House, seen at right, as well as the president's refutation of those arguments during his speech on Thursday. (We've pulled out Bachmann's transition to a smile, below.)

Blitzer: Do you really believe if this law — and it is a law passed by the House, passed by the Senate, signed into law by the president, approved by the Supreme Court — goes into effect that women, seniors, children are going to die?

Bachmann: That's the greatest fear that Americans have. And the president got a big applause line when he made that statement. But it will be very unpleasant if the death panels go into effect — that's the IPAB board. If we have denial of care for women, children, senior citizens. Or if we have problems where people aren't given the drugs that they need — maybe they'll be denied drugs for breast cancer. You bet this can happen. That is what i'm worried about. People all across the united states. This is literally an issue of life and death.

Winner: Blitzer. Bachmann is afraid that Obamacare will lead to denials of drug coverage and to denials of care for women and old people, that maybe people with breast cancer won't get medicine. Because those things never happen under the current system! Actually, the breast cancer one probably doesn't, because no insurance company would cover someone with so severe a preexisting condition. Go Google "denied coverage" and see what comes up. Is it nothing? No? Then maybe Bachmann's point — which she twice blames on the American people at large — is invalid.

Oh, also, there are no "death panels" unless you want to just call whatever you don't like a "death panel." Obama should start calling the IPAB the "free ice cream panel," and see how that goes over.

Round 2: Will Obamacare help or hurt more people?

Blitzer pressed the point.

Blitzer: Don't you realize that … millions and millions of Americans will now have health insurance; earlier, they didn't have health insurance.

Bachmann: Millions and millions of Americans are losing health insurance right now. They're being thrown off their employer-paid health insurance …

Blitzer: But they'll be eligible to go to the exchanges and buy insurance.

Bachmann: Not necessarily. I was in a meeting this morning. We were told again that the people thrown into the exchanges, the health care premiums that they'll have to pay — even when they're subsidized — will be more than what they're paying now. I firmly believe that we could see that more people are actually going to be negatively impacted by Obamacare than helped. Just the office of what the president's hopes were.

Winner: Blitzer. Honestly, if Bachmann had just stuck to this weird "meeting" she was in, she might have taken this one. While the price of insurance in the exchanges being established next month are lower than expected, there will be cases where exchange plans are more expensive than what someone might otherwise have paid.

But her other points are just inexplicable. "Millions and millions of Americans are losing health insurance?" What? Where? We looked at the effect on businesses and found some roll-backs in coverage, but by no means enough to affect millions of people. That's a lot of people! Bachmann, a fan of hyperbole, let her rhetoric get away from her.

As she did when she instinctively replied "not necessarily" to Blitzer's assertion that those imaginary millions could sign up for insurance on the exchanges. "Not necessarily"? Necessarily! That's why they exist! You can't rail against the mandate of coverage and then say coverage is optional! That's cheating!

Round 3: Should taxpayers cover people without insurance who go to emergency rooms?

Blitzer: Is it fair that people who can afford to buy health insurance could become freeloaders and taxpayers will take care of them if they get into an emergency medical situation? Is that fair?

Bachmann: The fairness … that is … lacking in Obamacare is clear because President Obama has changed Obamacare over 19 times now. He has an uneven playing field. So if you are a political favorite of the president's, you've just got an exemption. Big business got a huge exemption, not the American people!

We're just going to jump in here and say Winner: Blitzer because Bachmann's response is nonsensical and incorrect. In the video, you can see her scrambling for a response. She picked a bad one. (Big business, for example, is hardly a political favorite of the president.)

Anyway, continuing:

Blitzer: Are you happy there are people out there who have money but they decide they don't want to buy health insurance — but that we'll take care of them no matter what?

Bachmann: What you're talking about is a very, very tiny percentage of the American people. ...

Blitzer: Have you been to an emergency room? You see what's going on?

Bachmann: My oldest son is a physician. I've been to an emergency room many times.

Blitzer: So you know, you know who shows up. These are people who don't have health insurance, and we take care of them.

Bachmann: Quite often it's illegal aliens. Illegal aliens show up, so we the American taxpayer are picking up the tab for people who aren't American citizens.

Blitzer: That's another subject. What about if you're an American citizen and you could afford to buy health insurance and you don't. You just want to take advantage of the situation.

Bachmann: The bottom line of your question, Wolf: Is it fair that the American people are picking up the tab for other people's health care. we have over 300 hundred million Americans. The estimate was 46 million Americans didn't have health care, but that also included illegal aliens. We know now the estimate from the government is that about 30 million people are going to be cut off their employer's health insurance because of Obamacare.

Blitzer: I don't know where you're getting …

Bachmann: This is a very bad, bad conclusion!

Blitzer: I don't know where you're getting 30 million people.

Bachmann: From the government. From the federal government.

Blitzer: That's not true. You have to show me those numbers.

Yeah. Winner: Blitzer. Unless Bachmann was told these "federal government" numbers in this unidentified meeting this morning, it's not clear where they come from. There are a lot of numbers in the neighborhood of 30 million that float around in conjunction with Obamacare, many of them repeated and revised on anti-Obamacare websites. So maybe these are classified numbers the administration only shared with Republicans? Unclear.

Anyway, there aren't many Americans who don't have insurance who go to the hospital, because the hospital is simply choked with undocumented immigrants. As with so much else in Bachmann's world, it is their fault. A 2000 study found that the total cost of these immigrants' healthcare that year, including emergency room visits, was just north of a billion dollars. Less than one percent of Medicaid costs cover that community.

[image error]The interview goes on for another five minutes, mostly not about Obamacare and mostly less contentious. But in this modern Lincoln-Douglas contest, the winner was clear: the long-standing-but-flawed CNN anchor easily dispatched the retiring congresswoman. But everyone came away smiling.

       

You Can Read Dave Eggers' New Novel in This Week's New York Times Magazine

[image error]Subscribers to The New York Times Magazine will get a surprise on their doorsteps tomorrow. The cover story of this week's issue is an adapted excerpt of Dave Egger's newest novel The Circle, which goes on sale on October 8. The story will also be available online around 5 a.m. Saturday morning, if you want to set your alarm clocks.

"It's a great read and if that hadn't been true we wouldn't have published it, no matter who had written it," editor Hugo Lindgren told us. He added that The Circle, and this adaptation, are also culturally relevant, in that it deals with the lines between our work lives and private lives, and between our public and private spheres. The Charles Neiman-designed cover, which Lindgren tweeted out this afternoon, makes that theme quite dramatically. 

"We Like You So Much and Want to Know You Better," as the piece is title, is cobbled together from the various plots and subplots of the novel. Lindgren said it was a testament to the strength of the story that they were able to create coherent narrative from various strands of the story without giving anything away. 

What's notable about this issue — other than our excitement to take a look at Eggers's latest — is that this is probably the first time the magazine has put fiction on the cover. "We think it's the first one," Lindgren said, but he couldn't speak for the entirety of the magazine's 117-year-long history. "The great thing about looking through the archives is that there's a lot of cool stuff that's been done in the past."