Atlantic Monthly Contributors's Blog, page 837

The Incredible True Story of Doge

Via Sato's blog, the original Doge

Your favorite meme almost died. Not "politicians ruining the fun for everyone" died, but, like, "left this mortal coil" died. The Verge unearthed the story about how Doge almost wasn't. 

The "doge" meme has been around for a few years now, but it peaked in 2013, because doge is actually funny. If you were online at all over the last six months, you probably saw the picture of a Shiba Inu dog, labeled with non-sensical phrases in rainbowed Comic Sans. "Wow," doge says. "Such funny. So hilarious." The Internet, here represented by Imgur and Reddit, loves doge. Bloggers love doge, and bloggers hate most memes. Linguists love doge. Very few people do not love doge. It was this year's best meme by a mile, and the competition was not close. 

But the dog that most often represents the doge meme nearly died a few years ago, according to The Verge's Kyle Chayka, who traced the origin of the meme. The photo of Kabosu, the adopted eight-year-old Shiba Inu, that is used most often by doge enthusiasts originated here, from 2010, on the owner's blog. Kabosu, and owner Atsuko Sato, are somewhat famous bloggers in Japan, where they live. Sato adopted Kabosu four years ago, in 2008, when the dog was facing a ghastly fate in an animal shelter: 

The furry face that launched a thousand quips nearly never made it to the web. Sato adopted Kabosu from an animal shelter in November, 2008, saving her from certain death. “She was a pedigreed dog from a puppy mill, and when the puppy mill closed down, she was abandoned along with 19 other Shiba dogs,” the teacher explained. “Some of them were adopted, but the rest of them were killed.”

A volunteer at the shelter gave the dog her name, a type of Japanese citrus. “Her face is very round just like kabosu [fruit],” Sato said. “I thought the name was perfect, so I kept it.”

So, the emotionless Internet meme is actually the most Internet thing ever, a triumphant, heartwarming, nearly unbelievable story about overcoming all odds to restore your faith in humanity. 

       

RIP SOAPnet: 2000-2013

When the ball drops in Times Square, the curtain will drop on cable channel SOAPnet. You'll have to find another place to watch your Beverly Hills, 90210s (the original version, not that CW thing), Gilmore Girls and All My Childrens.

 SOAPnet, owned by Disney, was actually supposed to go off the air last year, to be replaced by Disney Junior. But Disney Junior launched almost two years ago and SOAPnet stuck around anyway. According to the LA Times, cable and satellite TV providers didn't want to drop the network for fear of enraging passionate soap fans.

But now that the number of daytime soaps have dwindled to just four and Disney Junior's ratings have been strong with the preschool set, Disney has told the 66 million homes that still carry the channel that it's definitely ending things tonight.

Thank you to all of our devoted fans for over 13 years of soapy drama! SOAPnet will go off the air on December 31st at midnight.

— SOAPnet (@SOAPnet) December 31, 2013

While SOAPnet's Twitter account is still tweeting away, its website is already down. One viewer reported on SOAPnet's Facebook page that the channel was already gone in her area, replaced by TBN, a Christian channel that doesn't have any soap operas at all.

There will be no secret island. There will be no presumed dead but actually alive and with a convenient case of amnesia. There will be no waking up to find SOAPnet alive and in the shower. There will be no poisoned peanut butter pancakes that kill it but then an evil doctor who brings it back to life but keeps it in a coma for two years until it escapes but is then put in a mental hospital where Erica Kane finally rescues it.

If you want to relive SOAPnet's glory days before it dies, Soap Opera Network has a nice history of the channel, while People put up a list of five "SOAPnet staples" it would miss.

I'm so sorry, @LisaAnn_23.

@SOAPnet WHYYYYYY

— Lisa (@LisaAnn_23) December 31, 2013

@SOAPnet no no no no no this is a big misunderstanding, you see, I NEEEED my one tree hill!!

— Lisa (@LisaAnn_23) December 31, 2013

 

 

 

       

No, Apple Does Not Help the NSA Hack iPhones

AP

They have denied it before and they will deny it again: Apple has no idea why, how of if the National Security Agency can bug your iPhone, and they certainly aren't helping the spying agency do it. 

Apple released a statement Tuesday denying any cooperation with the NSA, again, and condemning the spy agency's alleged hacking of their phones. "Apple has never worked with the NSA to create a backdoor in any of our products, including iPhone. Additionally, we have been unaware of this alleged NSA program targeting our products," the company said, per AllThingsD. "We will continue to use our resources to stay ahead of malicious hackers and defend our customers from security attacks, regardless of who’s behind them."

On Monday, Der Spiegel and security researcher Jacob Appelbaum leaked NSA documents, taken from a hacking software and hardware catalogue from the Access Network Technology division. The new slides revealed the NSA's ability to track and even control much of the information on your iPhone, through iOS. Using a special software implant, called DROPOUTJEEP, the NSA can read text messages, contact lists, listen to voice mail, retrieve a phone's location, and turn on the iPhone's microphone and camera, among other things. 

But the slide contained one suspicious piece of information: the NSA could not, at the time, install the iPhone software wirelessly. The slide was dated for October, 2008. In order to track an iPhone, the NSA's software had to be installed manually. 

NSA agents are probably more than capable of snatching a target's iPhone, installing spy software and replacing it before the target notices. That happens in, like, every spy movie, ever. Or, Apple cooperates and installs the backdoor during production, enabling the NSA to watch every iPhone in circulation right now. Either reality is believable. Apple tried to kill that second possible theory today. 

Apple was one of eight major tech companies, along with Google, Yahoo!, Microsoft and others, who signed letters to Congress and the President demanding sweeping surveillance reforms. The President has yet to call them back. He uses a Blackberry, because iPhones aren't secure enough. 

       

The Best New Laws of 2014

Sharks are all about 2014. (REUTERS/ROMEO RANOCO)

Everyone's getting ready for (at least a few weeks of post-hangover) self improvement in 2014, including our judicial system. At the stroke of midnight tonight, some 40,000 new local, state, and federal laws will go into effect. Some (most, really) are minor tweaks and frankly kind of boring. Some are routine but troubling, like the yearly expiration of tax cuts that has businesses scrambling until the rebates are reinstated. And some are genuinely upsetting, like strict new voting laws that will likely disenfranchise American citizens.

In the spirit of a better tomorrow, however, we're going to focus on the new laws that actually make us feel kind of good about things. Here's our seven favorite new laws, and why we love 'em. 

Voter pre-registration for Colorado teens

The law: Sixteen-year-olds in Colorado will be able to pre-register to vote when they get their drivers licenses. The registration will become official once those who have pre-registered turn 18, making them eligible to vote. 

Why we like it: Colorado is making it easier for young people to exercise their civil rights, and is actively encouraging them to get politically involved. This is especially significant as a number of states make it more difficult for people — mostly people who vote as Democrats — to vote. Plus, we really like this 1960s civic-minded pot-smoking youth throwback thing Colorado is doing. (Yet another January 1 development. See below.)

Delaware curbs the shark fin market

The law: It will be illegal to sell and distribute shark fins within Delaware. 

Why we like it: The new law has been touted by environmentalists for taking steps towards eliminating the inhumane practice of shark finning. (Basically, poachers capture sharks, cut off their fins, and throw the rest of the fish overboard to bleed to death or drown.) Shark fins are harvested for use in expensive shark fin soups, which are considered to be a delicacy. You don't catch a ton of shark fins off the coast of Delaware, but it's a start.

Lights out on light bulbs in 2014

The law: Manufacturers will be required to stop making 40- and 60-watt light bulbs, which happen to be the most popular in the country. 

Why we like it: From here on in, light bulbs will be more expensive up front, but save energy in the long-run. We are notoriously bad at actively making any changes that will make us better off in the long-run if it makes us worse-off in the short run. So a government-mandated nudge towards becoming more aware of how much energy we waste makes a lot of sense to us. Plus, it makes Tea Partiers really mad. 

Recreational pot-smoking in Colorado is allllll rightttt 

The law: Colorado residents who are at least 21 years old will be legally allowed to purchase marijuana for recreational use.

Why we like it: Legal marijuana is expected to be a growth industry, and retailers are gearing up for tourism especially. The government could also benefit from taxes on marijuana, which is no more dangerous an intoxicant than alcohol, and from having to lock up fewer non-violent criminals. And now Colorado will be even cooler. 

New cyber security laws in California

The law: Under the new provision online retailers will have to prominently disclose how they use consumers' personal information. 

Why we like it: Though some argue that the law will actually hurt consumers, because it increases transparency without demanding action, we are pro any law that forces commercial sites to be more open about what they do with user data. We are used to signing verbose contracts with a click, and appreciate any legislative effort to shift the onus of responsibility onto commercial bodies. Even a small step towards reclaiming a right to privacy online is a good one. 

Obamacare coverage starts

The law: Barring any more glitches, millions who signed up for insurance or Medicaid through the Affordable Care Act will finally gain health care coverage on January 1. 

Why we (might) like it: Obamacare is an imperfect universal health care system, but it is a universal healthcare system nonetheless. The plan, which Obama fought through the courts, a government shutdown, and a disastrous launch, is a step towards securing Americans at least one useful safety net as some others, like pensions, are quickly disappearing. We hope it works. 

Victims of human trafficking get funds to remove captor tattoos

The Law: In Illinois, human trafficking victims who have been tattooed or branded will be able to use money from the Crime Victim's Compensation Act to remove tattoos. 

Why we like it: Humans helping humans. 

       

Hillary Clinton Admired for Remaining Hillary Clinton for 12 Straight Years

Winners! (REUTERS/JIM YOUNG)

Hillary Clinton has been voted the "Most Admired Woman" by Americans for an astounding 12-year in a row, according to Gallup. President Obama, by comparison, has only been the "Most Admired Man" for six consecutive years. Though those hot streaks are slightly less impressive, when you consider what it takes to be "admired."

The Gallup Poll is conducted each year and reveals much about the types of leaders Americans are into — mostly politicians, British royalty, wealthy entrepreneurs and religious leaders. It also reveals how static and boring those preferences are. The list of people voted onto the top ten list hasn't changed much since the poll was split into men's and women's lists in 1948. (In 1946 and 1947, the poll was of Most Admired Person). Among the men, the Rev. Billy Graham has made the cut 57 times and Ronald Reagan 31. Among the women, Queen Elizabeth II was on the top ten list 46 times, and Oprah Winfrey 26. Hillary Clinton has been on the list a total of 22 times since becoming First Lady in 1993.

The runner-up for Most Admired Woman of 2013 was Oprah Winfrey, with six percent of the vote, who beat out Michelle Obama and Sarah Palin's five percent. Malala Yousafzai and Condoleezza Rice each won two percent of the vote, and were followed by Angela Merkel, Angelina Jolie, Duchess Kate and Queen Elizabeth II, who each received one percent.  

In 2013, President Obama won 16 percent of the vote and was followed by former president George W. Bush and Pope Francis with four percent, who tied for second-most-admired. Bill Clinton and Rev. Billy Graham both nabbed two percent of the vote, and Bill Gates, Clint Eastwood, Ron Paul, Ted Cruz, Mitt Romney and Jimmy Carter each got one percent. According to Gallup seven percent of respondents wrote in Nelson Mandela as the Most Admired Man, but the honor is only awarded to living candidates.

The nearly distribution of conservatives and liberals suggests that being admired is as much about the job you hold, as it is about anything you actually say or do. Obama and Clinton are the most admired Americans, because they are also the most famous; and they are the most famous, because they are the most powerful. According to Gallup, "the sitting president has won the distinction 57 times in the 67 years the question has been asked, including the last 33 in a row."

Clinton was named the Most Admired Woman this year for the 18th time. Unlike this year, each prior time she won she held an official government role. Her public service may not be complete, though, as she is frequently mentioned as a possible contender for the 2016 Democratic presidential nomination, and likely would be the clear front-runner if she decided to pursue it....

Perhaps more interesting than the top ten answers (wouldn't you say the Pope or the Queen or a Clinton if a stranger on the phone asked you the question?) is that while sixteen percent of people polled named Obama, 27 percent said "none or no opinion." For women, 15 percent named Hillary as the most admired, and 28 percent said "none or no opinion." So Americans admire both Obama and Clinton, but not as much as they just don't care. 

       

Kim Jong-un Enjoys His New 'For the People' Ski Resort By Himself

EPA / Rodong Sinmun

North Korea may be a tough place to live if you're the uncle or ex-girlfriend of its dictator or if you like food, but if you're one of the 0.02 percent of North Koreans who ski, it just got awesome.

Masik Pass Ski Resort, a pet project of Kim Jong-un (who, remember, spent some time in Switzerland as a teenager), has opened! It's North Korea's first ski resort, and though Kim Jong-un said it was for his citizens ("those from across the country can enjoy their winter camping by skiing, skating and sledging at the resort," KCNA writes), almost no one in North Korea skies and also it's way too expensive for them anyway. Passes cost $50, more than half the country's average monthly wage.

Whatever! While his people struggle to get by on their $100 a month, Kim reportedly spent $300 million to get this resort up and running by 2014. It wasn't easy: setbacks included landslides and France, Austria and Switzerland refusing to sell the country its ski lifts (a decision North Korea blasted as a "serious human rights abuse").

Obstacles overcome, Kim Jong-un stopped by Masik Pass to take it all in. Alone:

EPA / RODONG SINMUN

Here he is with a few friends, looking slightly more cheerful:

REUTERS

Here's a news report from his visit to the site's hotel, which comes with a pool and a ski shop and a lot of other things very few North Koreans will ever get to see in person:

And here's Kim Jong-un checking in to his new "world class" hotel. Room for one, please!

REUTERS

Athletic ability runs in Kim Jong-un's family. His father was famously either the best golfer the world has ever seen or a liar.

       

The Most Bizarre Things that Americans Will Drop on New Year's Eve

This possum at the Wildlife Sydney animal park will be spared this New Year's Eve, but not all possums are so lucky. (REUTERS)

Americans are really into dropping stuff. And what better way to ring out 2013 and welcome 2014 than by tossing a possum or two? 

This goes deeper than Ryan Seacrest and a giant sparkling ball slowly falling in the middle of New York City's Times Square hell-pit. All around the country, towns are getting ready to drop some really, truly bizarre stuff. 

Here are some of the highlights.

Animals, Real and Imagined Tallapoosa, Ga., will be dropping the traditional stuffed possum at midnight. It's name is Spencer, and PETA isn't a big fan of the endeavor. After a North Carolina judge decided to let the event proceed despite PETA's protests, a captured possum in a plastic box will drop in Brasstown at midnight. This live possum drop has happened every year for two decades. Marshall P. Muskrat, who is a stuffed muskrat, will soar over downtown Princess Anne, Md., on a zip line at midnight. Chuck, a 6-foot-tall fake chicken, will drop in Delta, Ohio, at midnight. "We couldn't do a live one," says Mabel Hudson, a committee chairman. "We would have had PETA out here." A giant fake sardine will drop from a building in downtown Eastport, Maine. A hog sculpture will drop in Fayetteville, Ark. A 600-pound, 20-foot fiberglass fish named Wylie Walleye will drop in Port Clinton, Ohio. "When we're going down I-75, the truck drivers are talking about Wylie the Walleye," says the fish's handler. Beavertown, Pa., drops a ... stuffed beaver. Of course. Foodstuffs and Fruit More from National Journal John Boehner Had the Best Year in Washington Rubber Meets the Road for Obamacare Everything We Learned From Edward Snowden in 2013 Plymouth, Wis., will drop the "big cheese" at midnight. A bit earlier in the evening, a doughnut will drop in Hagerstown, Md.'s public square.  Miami will do something of a reverse drop, sending its "Big Orange" up the city's Hotel InterContinental. A pineapple will drop in Sarasota, Fla. Catch video of a recent drop here. A giant peanut M&M and a giant peach will drop in Atlanta. Why an M&M? Because not even the wholesome New Year's holiday drop can escape corporate sponsorship. Here's a particularly fun event: Vincennes, Ind., will drop 14 watermelons at midnight, with "entertainment" from "comedian" Gallagher who is known as being funny for smashing watermelons with a mallet. Before the drop, there will be a Gallagher look-alike contest. A massive, glowing pickle will drop before midnight in Mount Olive, N.C. A 75-pound, light-up Peep will drop in Bethlehem, Pa. A giant, foam potato will drop in Boise, Idaho. The potato cost $10,000 to make.

If that's not enough for you, there are always your nonfood, nonanimal options. Like in Key West, Fla., where a drag queen named Sushi will drop while sitting inside of a very large shoe. Happy New Year!

       

Here's Why You Won't Want a Pret a Manger Salad Tonight

Kathryn Lurie

The one defining characteristic of Pret a Manger is that it's safe: its coffee isn't that strong, its food isn't that bad, its pink lemonade isn't that sour — all that benign safety came crashing down today when a Wall Street Journal employee allegedly found a frog in one of their signature salads. Here's the amphibian find from Journal editor Kathryn Lurie: 

What the ... how the... huh? Living in New York, you kind of get used to the shock of whatever being found in fast food. And as gross as it, most New Yorkers have learned to live with the fact that there's a chance their food may or may not be prepared in the vicinity of pests like rats or roaches. But frogs? Huh?

Lurie's colleague's amphibian-riddled salad isn't actually the first time a frog has made an appearance in prepared food. As a trend, the first frog in a salad went viral in 2006 when one was allegedly found in a pack of Florette bagged salad. A Costco shopper found a frog in her salad in November of 2011.  In October 2012, another frog was found in a salad purchased at Walmart. And this past June, a woman found a frog in her Fresh Express salad bag from Target. 

No solid explanation of how a frog got into these pre-packaged salads was found, but the companies were pretty apologetic about serving unwanted amphibians. That brings us back to Pret. Pret, unlike a big chain store like Target or a fast food emporium like McDonald's, prides itself on making its food fresh every day in house. "All of our salads are made fresh in each shop's kitchen throughout the day. All you need to do is add the dressing," reads Pret's website. The possibility that someone over looked a grown frog in a salad makes it a bit more disconcerting, and tarnishes some of Pret's claims. Pret's official and very active (they interact with customers, some of whom have the tiniest of gripes — far tinier than a frog) Twitter account in the US so far hasn't tweeted about the frog.

       

One in Ten Republicans Have Stopped Believing in Evolution Since 2009

Associated Press

According to a new Pew Research poll out Monday, 60 percent of Americans believe in evolution. Thirty-three percent think "humans and other living things have existed in their present form since the beginning of time." The rest, of course, aren't sure. These numbers are about the same as they were five years ago. 

But Republicans' views on the matter have changed, just not in the way you'd think. In 2009, 54 percent of Republicans claimed to believe humans have evolved over time. Today, only 43 percent say so. Democrats' views have stayed essentially the same: in 2009, 64 percent believed in evolution, now 67 percent do.

So there's now a 24-point gap between Dems and the GOP. As Pew researchers explain, there is no dominant force, religious or otherwise, that explains the widening gulf. 

One of the most famous Republicans to stop believing in evolution is Rep. Paul Broun from Georgia. He's a doctor (who serves on the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology). But he now believes "all that stuff I was taught about evolution, embryology, the Big Bang theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of hell." At a speech at Liberty Baptist church in Georgia last year, he explained,

"There's a lot of scientific data that I’ve found out as a scientist that actually show that this is really a young Earth. I don’t believe that the Earth’s but about 9,000 years old. I believe it was created in six days as we know them. That’s what the Bible says."

While this kind of fringe rhetoric usually doesn't get much serious attention, the Pew poll shows it's becoming more accepted by Republicans. Broun is running for Senate in 2014 to replace retiring Sen. Saxby Chambliss. 

       

Five Television Casts We'd Love to See Do Improv

YouTube/Showtime

In the lead up to new season of House of Lies Showtime filmed the show's cast doing long form improv, which got us thinking: what other TV show casts would we like to see asking the audience for a non-geographic location? 

Improv—even with incredibly skilled performers—is often a risky endeavor, and throwing improv newbies (like, in the case of House of Lies, Kristen Bell and Don Cheadle) into the water is even more treacherous. Still, we don't want to see a bunch of comedy veterans a la the Parks and Recreation cast try this out (what's the challenge in that?), we're interested in tapping unrecognized potential. 

Masters of Sex:  For a pretty straightforward drama, there's a lot of untapped comedy potential here. Michael Sheen is dour as William Masters, but he has the potential to be zany. (See: Wesley Snipes.) Lizzy Caplan's comedy chops have already been proven by the likes of Party Down and Mean Girls. Plus! Allison Janney is a recurring guest star. Invite her, and this thing could be gold. 

The Voice :Something tells me that Adam and Blake would be down for this. Plus, who doesn't want to see Christina Aguilera do her best, "yes, and..." 

 The Carrie Diaries :Something tells me this would be like watching the theater kids in your high school do improv, if those high school kids were really, really good looking and particularly charming. 

Orange Is the New Black :Lauren Lapkus, who appeared in the House of Lies improv gig, could show up again for the Orange Is the New Black show. She's a delight. The Orange cast is fearless—peeing on the floor, and the like—and if they can put that boundless energy into some fierce, feminist improv we're on board.

Game of Thrones: If you've seen their experiments on Vine, Arya and Sansa Stark (Maisie Williams and Sophie Turner) are IRL two outrageous gals. Peter Dinklage uses his sass on the show, but can also let loose. See: Peter Drunklage. Meanwhile, Jamie Lannister will grow man boobs in an upcoming feature film. How fun would it be to see these guys shake off their medieval fantasy garb? 

While we wait for these to get sorted out, watch the House of Lies improv below.