Sam Hilliard's Blog, page 9

Pork Chops and Apple Sauce

Blockbuster lost what was left of its carcass once a Redbox sprouted at my local 7-11. Sure, the giant red DVD rental kiosk had been tempting me for over a year at the end of the self checkout lane at Stop and Shop, but it seemed kind of hokey. Besides, it was from the same people who make Coinstar, the great rip off change redemption machine.

Coinstar. Lets see, I feed a dollar worth of KFC encrusted coins and the machine keeps seven cents for processing? A Bunk Of America executive says...

Sorry Cadbury

Bunny courtesy Mom, ear removal courtesy the Poet, Photo courtesy Baybeh 9700

Great parking, Jojo

Just what I want parked next to me in the supermarket. A late model Pontiac with 2,000 dollar rims and an inflated sense of self-importance.

How to train your toilet seat

The business of elimination is a serious matter. Like Glenn Close, it will not be ignored. And like a performance vehicle, what matters most when you're cracking the throttle into a tight curve, is that the tires maintain contact with the road.

Or in this case of toilets, your bottom to the seat.

Many seats are just not up to the task. Not even close. Blame on it on the economy or unscrupulous landlords or Xanax-ed out home builders, but good seats seem to be an afterthought that very few...

Abstract on Taxation

I hate taxes. Most everyone ( unless they are the bright spark that fomented the justification for revenue enhancement in the first place ) hates taxes. Lately I've been paying too much. And this time, the government is not at fault.

See, there is a self-inflicted tax–well beyond the influence of any legislature or collection agent. It's a tax that has always been levied against people, and for some, will continue appearing as line item on the bill forever. The DWT, or the Double Worry Tax...

For Billy

Nothing wrecks a day more completely than a full blown ear infection. The puffing, the ringing, the aching. And one gadget that reduced the incessant ear infections I experienced between age six and, um, about five years ago, is the coolio Ear Dryer.

Like a tightly focused hair dryer, the tiny stream of hot air eradicates moisture inside the ear. Why exactly air blasted down the ear canal and tympanic membrane makes any difference, I have never understood. What I do know is since using it...

After the Patty

If I ever wondered how much alcohol was enough in a single evening, well, now I have a conclusive answer. Gain noticeable weight over a weekend–that's enough booze.

After dealing with a flood of epic proportions that killed power at work last weekend, and fried five-sixths of the Internet connection for several days, some post St. Patty festivities made for a smart end to Spring Break, albeit a pudgy one. Lesson learned.

Several positive reviews came in over the last few days. Much thanks to e...

Spring

Besides warm weather, long days and ungodly traffic jams, spring means the melting of the winter blubber. In fact, that might be the German root for spring. Or maybe the Croatian. Anyway, the point is, let the melting begin.

Now off to work . . .

Stuck in the DVD carousel

Watched the following DVDs four ( or more ) times in the last twelve months:

1 ) Apocalypse Now Redux

2 ) The Fog of War

3 ) Gonzo : The Life and Work of Hunter S. Thompson

4 ) Halloween Unrated Director's Cut

5 ) Friday 13th Extended Killer Cut

6 ) Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

7 ) Factotum

8 ) Gladiator

9 ) Street Kings

The Vietnam War, slasher flicks, dirty cops and writers who went so far past the boundaries of reality no one around them could remember where the line was in the first...

Enough with the ladybugs

Hard to get work done when being dive-bombed by lady bugs.