Kevin L. O'Brien's Blog: Songs of the Seanchaí, page 24

Synopsis: Stag Rabbit ( a Team Girl adventure)

Eile and Sunny are sitting outside a restaurant on the 16th Street Mall when they see a white and gold stretch limo cruise past heading for a parking garage. It had the Playboy logo engraved on the windows and the license plate Play01. Sunny is convinced it's Hugh Hefner, and she drags Eile off to take a look. They follow the limo inside and watch it park in a VIP section. One of the men who get out looks like Hefner. They follow at a discrete distance and he enters a men's boutique. They follow him inside and watch as he shops for a dress jacket. They are accosted by a sales clerk, who acts suspicious, but accepts Sunny's story that they are security people, much to Eile's surprise. When Hefner takes a jacket into a fitting room, Sunny makes her way into the back of the store to see him though the one-way mirror. Eile tries to stop her, but then they see a middle-aged woman holding a gun of Hefner. Sunny smashes the mirror and pulls Hefner through as she shoots, missing him. She pursues and the girls takes Hefner out the back of the store into the building's service corridors and down to street level, with the woman shouting and shooting behind them. They emerge into an alley and are confronted by the sale clerk, who delays them until the woman arrives. It turns out the clerk is a confederate. When the girls demand to know what's going on, she explains that some years ago she was Hefner's girlfriend. He was going to make her Playmate of the year and marry her, when he threw her over for Kimberley Conrad. Hefner defends himself, saying the woman had posed for a few shots and he had dated her twice, but that was as far as it went. As she screams invective at him, it's clear to the girls that she's unhinged. Sunny throws herself at her and grapples with her, which gives Eile the chance to knock out the clerk with bolo punch. When the woman knocks Sunny aside, Eile jumps in and subdues her with a couple of punches. She grabs up the gun as Hefner helps Sunny to her feet.

The police enter the alley with Hefner's security people and yell at Eile to drop the gun, but Hefner intervenes and explains that she and Sunny are security people he hired to keep a secret watch on him. However, when the press arrive, the girls take off to avoid publicity. The next day, Hefner arrives at their house, having obtained the address from Medb, who is a good friend. He thanks them for saving him, poses for a picture, and then hands them his card, saying that if they ever want to pose for his magazine, he would be happy to arrange it.

Change of Pace

Sorry, no Medb hErenn-themed post today.

Instead I am working on a story I want to submit to Weird Tales before they close tomorrow.

Stay tuned next week.

Next eBook: The Surrogate

The next story in my schedule to be published through Smashwords will be:

The Surrogate

Shasta Taffaday, a streetwalker, is hired by Clarissa MacCandels, a rich socialite, to seduce her son and initiate him in the ways of the flesh, so to speak. But Shasta soon realizes that something about the whole affair is decidedly off, and she can't be sure what Ms. MacCandels really intends.

This will be another free ebook.

New eBook: The Denver Walker

I have just published my latest ebook:

The Denver Walker

Earth is under attack by an alien robotic berserker bent on exterminating Mankind. It has cut a swath across North America, leaving nothing but death and destruction in its wake, and not even America's nuclear arsenal can stop it. It's next target is Denver, and despite evacuation procedures millions of lives are at risk.

However, hope may lie in a new weapon, based on the Walker's own technology. The only problem is, it must be delivered to the target by aircraft, and nothing has been able to penetrate the Walker's formidable defenses. Still, there is no other viable option, and the Air Force decides to call upon its best pilots.

Lt. Col. Eile Chica and Maj. Sonne "Sunny" Hiver know that it is a suicide mission, but they realize the desperateness of the situation. Since failure cannot be an option, they must succeed, somehow, regardless of the cost.

This ebook is free and can be downloaded from Smashwords.

Sword & Sorcery Hero: The Factor

Continuing my series of posts on novel sword and sorcery heroes, another based on trade and commerce could be the Factor.

A Factor is the head of a Factory, which in this context refers to a system of trading posts set up in foreign cities or colonial possessions to facilitate trade. Though the ancient Phoenicians, Greeks, and Romans maintained trading posts in their overseas possessions and colonies, the Factory system was a unique medieval European institution. The individual posts served as markets, warehouses, customs houses, defense and support facilities, and the de facto local government for the merchants, traders, and citizens of the nation that established the factory. In North America, a modified version of this system was used to facilitate trade with native tribes, as well help emigrants traveling through wilderness areas and provide protection from hostiles.

So, let’s imagine that we are writing the Sword & Sorcery version of Centennial. The first chapter describes the life of the Couer des Brois I described last time, and relates how during his exploration of the wilderness beyond the kingdom and trading with the native tribes that inhabit the region, he discovers gold in the mountains. He returns to the kingdom, attracts investors, who fund miners, and he guides them back to the strike. He negotiates with the natives for the right to settle, establishes a camp, and forges a trail to bring in supplies and carry out gold. Upon his return he trains younger couer des brois to take over, and retires on his shares of the output. He marries and starts a family, and tells stories of his exploits.

In the next chapter, a grandson, who grew up on the stories, decides to see the wilderness for himself. By this time, the mining camp has become a town with several thousand inhabitants. The trail has been turned into a road for easier transport, and not only supplies but also settlers follow it to the town, some looking to get rich, but most looking for a better life. It takes three months to reach the town, and along the way the grandson sees that the natives resent the road, because they are cheated by unscrupulous traders who trade them junk or liquor. Some attack the travelers, hoping to disrupt the traffic, while others trade valuable furs for liquor. However, many travelers suffer accidents and deprivations, but there is no one to help them. In the town he finds a burgeoning crafts industry, but the local market is too small to support it, and the natives won’t come near the town thinking it taboo. The grandson realizes that trade with the natives and the road travelers would open up a large market for the craftsmen. As the grandson of the Couer des Brois he has some clout, and he convinces entrepreneurs in the town to fund his idea: a trading post set up at the half-way point along the road.

He negotiates with the natives for land along the side of the road, and they trust him because his grandfather could be trusted. They help him select a good spot, and he obtains volunteers from the town to build the post while the natives supply food for the workmen. When the post and compound is finished, he buys his wares on credit; trade goods for the natives, but also supplies for the travelers. And he opens for business, conducting trade, offering service and protection, and eventually representing both the town government and the king. His post serves as neutral ground, where the tribes can gather to parley between themselves and the two governments. There are hardships to contend with: wild animals, bad weather, natural disasters, hostile natives, bandits, rampaging mercenaries, disease, and famine. But he prospers over time, expands to include on-site craftsmen and warehouses, adds a tavern and inn, and creates satellite posts along the road and further inside the wilderness. By the time he dies an old man, he has created a trading empire that spans the road and covers most of the wilderness.

Out of this basic outline can be created numerous adventuring scenarios, as the Factor defends his post, searches for new places to place satellite posts and to woo new customers, and settles disputes between natives and kingdom citizens, with his biggest challenge being protecting the natives from exploitative elements among his own people.

Swords in the Dreamlands

Before the development of firearms, swords were the quintessential battle weapon. Though many weapons had been used on the battlefield, the sword was often the most prevalent, and it is the one weapon most people think of when they imagine warfare without firearms. It is not the oldest weapon; spears, daggers, and axes all predate it. However, it is one of only four implements designed for killing (the spear, bow, and gun are the other three) and one of only two designed for war (the other is the gun). Aside from the dagger, the sword was the primary weapon for self-defense before firearms took over that task, but it was also the weapon most closely associated with the ruling class. Peasants and merchants could make use of staves, knives, axes, bows, hunting spears, even makeshift pole-arms derived from improvised farming implements, but for the most part only aristocratic warriors used the sword. In fact, in some places in the Waking World it was illegal for anyone except a knight or a lord to bear a sword. Even in later ages, when swords became more common and were used by civilians for dueling, ownership of a sword conveyed a certain respect that could overcome other class distinctions. (However, it also incurred a certain risk, in that other swordsmen could challenge anyone who wore a sword without provocation.) This has carried over into modern times, in that an ordinary soldier is equipped with a bayonet and often a knife, but only officers and high-ranking noncoms wear swords (which tend to be purely ceremonial).

As a side note, it should be mentioned that, while the dagger is classified as a form of knife, swords and daggers are inextricably linked. They not only share the same basic design and similar origins, they serve the same general purpose, and they are often used together. Also, the distinction between a long dagger and a short sword is not clear, and some scholars have argued that, for all intents and purposes, a sword is simply a very long dagger (or a dagger a very short sword, depending upon your perspective). As such, daggers will be mentioned throughout this essay even though technically they are not the proper subject.

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Peer's Quarterly Interview of Differel

Peer's Quarterly 20 Questions
with Sir Differel Van Helsing

portrait by Lon Ryden; July 2011


[Editor's Note: This online version is formatted differently from the printed article, in that it contains additional material from the interview that was not included in the magazine.]

SIR DIFFEREL ISOLDE CHURCHILL PENDRAGON VAN HELSING, 16th Baronetess of Denver and Viscountess Dunwich, is Director of the Caerleon Order of the Companions of St. George, the agency charged with protecting the Sovereign, Church, and People of the United Kingdom and the Commonwealth of Nations from paranormal threats. She is the direct descendent of Sir Abraham Van Helsing, GCVO, the conqueror of Dracula, and King Arthur Pendragon, and has inherited both the Master Vampire and the greatsword Caliburn, better known as Excalibur. Born in 1976, she lost her mother, Gwendolyn Isolde Pendragon Lady Van Helsing, within a week after her birth, and her father, Sir Henry Arthur Richard Van Helsing, when she turned 12. She married The Rt. Hon. Victor Edward Plunkett, 26th Viscount Dunwich, in 2001, and they had a son, Henry Abraham Vlad Helsing-Plunkett, before Lord Dunwich was killed in 2004. Despite these hardships, Sir Differel has acquired numerous honours, including a Life Peerage as Baroness Denver, the George Cross, and being made a Lady Companion of the Garter.

She agreed to sit with us for 20 QUESTIONS, and beforehand gave us a tour of her ancestral manor, where we meet her most important associates: Aelfraed Walters, her butler and Chief of Staff; Mrs. Helena Widget, her housekeeper; Madam Phillipa Trumbo, her executive chef; Magdalene King, Manager; WO Giles Holt, Master-at-Arms; Sharona Turing, Chief Analyst; Dr. Thaddeus Carmichael, Chief Surgeon; and her best friends, Eile Chica and Sonne Hiver, known as Team Girl; as well as her son and her quasi-slave, Vlad Ţepeş Drăkulya, popularly known as Count Dracula. The vampire insisted upon joining us, and we decided to reserve the 21st question for him.

Read the rest of the article.

Synopsis: The Amorous Araby (a Team Girl adventure)

While Eile distracts an Arabian Sheikh pretending to be a magazine reporter, Medb and Sunny break into his office in the Saudi embassy in Washington to steal gold certificates he plans to use to fund a terrorist attack on Saudi Arabia. They are discovered, but they manage to get away with the certificates.

The Sheikh is upset about the theft, but he is fascinated by Eile. Using contacts in various criminal organizations, he learns of her identity and follows her to Denver.

While Eile and Sunny are out for a walk, Eile is kidnapped. Sunny tries to help her, but is knocked away as she is bundled into a van. Inside, she is stabbed with a needle and she passes out from a sedative.

Sunny alerts Medb, who traces the van through its license plate to DIA. Going there, she and Sunny find out that the Sheikh arrived to pick up his niece injured in a skiing accident and return her to Saudi Arabia. Medb and Sunny are too late to stop his jet from taking off. They are held by airport security until they clear themselves, but by that time the jet has already refueled at Washington and taken off again, destination Arabia via Libya.

Medb tries to get the Federal government to act immediately, but nothing happens. Even a direct appeal to the President yields only a promise that everything possible will be done. By this time, the Sheikh's jet has taken off from Libya. Deciding to waste no more time, Medb commandeers a Mach 7 jet her institute had been working on and flies herself and Sunny to Jeddah, which is the Sheikh's destination. They arrive an hour before he does, at a US military base a few miles outside the city.

Medb and Sunny go to the American consulate in Jeddah, hoping to be able to retrieve Eile as soon as the plane lands, but the Chief refuses to do anything without orders from Washington. He also informs them that the Sheikh is an important member of the Saudi royal family and there could be serious repercussions if Medb confronted him directly. So he has her and Sunny detained. Medb continues to try to get him to cooperate, but when he informs her and Sunny that the Sheikh's plane has landed and that he has taken his 'niece' to his private residence in a nearby village, that becomes the last straw. Medb and Sunny make their escape, thereby making them fugitives from both the Americans and the Saudis.

They head into the Old City, where Medb renews old contacts. They give her and Sunny clothing, supplies, and transportation - two camels. With those it will take 36 hours to reach the village, but it cannot be helped. They start out in the early afternoon.

Eile awakens for the first time since her kidnapping, naked in a strange room. She is approached by a woman who introduces herself as Mariam, the woman in charge of the Sheikh's haram, who gives her clothing. She explains about the Sheikh and why Eile is there. Eile states she is not a virgin, hoping that will get her set free, but Mariam is horrified. If the Sheikh finds out, he will sell her to one of his criminal organization contacts as a sex slave to recoup his financial losses in taking her. Fortunately, family business has forced the Sheikh to delay his assignation, but he will return in a few days. In the meantime, Mariam will try to figure out a way to fool the Sheikh. Eile tells her that Medb will be coming to rescue her. Mariam knows Medb, and promises to try to contact her to help get Eile away.

That night, while Sunny and Medb take a rest at a desert well, Medb explains that she knows this Sheikh. Twelve years ago he kidnapped another protégé, but Medb had been forced to give up the chase. That's why she has been trying to implicate him in some serious crime ever since, for revenge; the Saudi royal family would behead him if she can prove it. This time, she will not give up, and perhaps she can expiate that past wrong as well.

The next day, Mariam brings Eile a glass vial filled with sheep's blood. If she can break it at the right time, the Sheikh will think he has deflowered her. Eile declares that if he tries to rape her, she will kill him. Mariam anticipated that and provides her with a slim dagger, suitable for stabbing him in the neck. She warns her, however, that should she attack the Sheikh, even if she kills him, she will most likely be put to death. Eile understands, but takes the dagger anyway.

The following evening, Medb and Sunny arrive at the village. It is a walled settlement with a gate. The Sheikh's personal guard is on watch, but they barely notice two more bedouin travelers enter. Medb has been studying the village and the Sheikh's residence for years and knows of a contact at a local inn. Going there, they meet the contact, who promises to get word to someone in the residence.

The next day, Mariam tells Eile Medb has arrived and she will be sneaking out later to meet with her, but the Sheikh has returned early. He will want to consummate his assignation that night, so they are running out of time.

Medb and Sunny meet with Mariam, who offers to help them get into the residence.

That evening, the Sheikh meets with Eile for a private supper. The conversation is polite but tense, and finally the Sheikh orders her taken to his bedroom and prepared. Before Eile can hide the dagger and vial, however, attendants strip her naked, taking both items with them unknowing.

Mariam meets Medb and Sunny outside the residence after dark and takes them inside through the entrance she uses to get out when she wants. She leads them into the haram, then departs to secure them horses. Medb and Sunny make their way to the Sheikh's private chamber, but encounter guards. As Medb deals with them, Sunny heads for the bedroom.

The Sheikh arrives and tries to rape Eile, but Sunny appears and knocks him unconscious. As Medb keeps the guards busy, Eile and Sunny climb down off the balcony to where Mariam waits with three horses. Medb soon follows, but Mariam refuses to leave and disappears. Medb tells the girls to wait for her at the village gate and goes off to find Mariam.

At the gate, the girls find it well guarded by many men, and they suspect a double-cross. Medb soon arrives with Mariam, and the haram girl confesses she had set them up for revenge against Medb; she was the protégé taken twelve years ago. However, she changed her mind after witnessing Eile's bravery in being willing to face death rather than submit, something she had been unable to do herself. She leads Medb and the girls out another exit and all four women race away into the night.

They arrive where they left the camels, and Medb uses a transmitter to send out a signal, explaining that she has had a mercenary force in place ready to pick them up. Before it arrives, however, the Sheikh arrives with his guard. Medb challenges him to a duel over ownership of the girls and Mariam, claiming an ancient Arabian custom giving her the privileges of a man. They fight and Medb defeats him. He tries to get his men to kill her, but they refuse, which makes him loose face. He tries to kill Eile, but Mariam takes the bullet herself, though she is only wounded. Medb's mercenaries arrive, and among them is a representative of the Saudi royal family, with proof the Sheikh was funding anti-Saudi terrorists. He is placed under arrest and taken back to the village. Medb and girls get Mariam on one of the helicopters and they head for home.

Synopsis: Medb Arrives in the Dreamlands

Elatha and his son Bres, the leaders of the Fomorians in the Dreamlands, discuss the imminent arrival of their mutual nemesis, Medb hErenn, and ways to stop her from interfering in their plans.

Medb defends a natural stone bridge from a horde of bloodthirsty monsters as soldiers rig explosives to destroy it. They succeed, but Medb is killed. Her spirit ascends to the Aethereal Plane, where her mentor, the Simurgh, tells her it no longer needs her services. It sends her to a place where she can rest until she is ready to return to her body on Earth, and she enters the Cavern of Flame, the vestibule of the Dreamlands. The two priests, Nasht and Kaman-thah, declare her worthy to enter.

She enters the Enchanted Wood, where she gains the services of the bird Teehar'owan. The Zoogs try to entrap her, but when she bests them they grant her safe passage and the services of one of their own, Conaed, called Runt. She knows, however, that he is meant to spy on her for the Zoogs. Once out of the Wood she travels along the River Skai to the village of Nir, where she spends the night with a former adventurer named Carbfind.

The next morning Carbfind takes her to Ulthar. Along the way she frees a cat, Cremedevoyageur, from being held captive by a ghoul. In Ulthar, Carbfind arranges lodging at the Inn of the Quixotic Muse and secures her a loan from Seidhloch the Moneylender. At the inn Medb befriends the serving girl Laylina, and that evening helps a bard, Rahniel, entertain the crowd. Afterwards, she and Rahniel have sex.

Creme delivers a message to the Cat Queen and her Council of Elders from Kuranes, king of Celephais and the Land of Ooth-Nargai, requesting their help in investigating strange goings-on in the wilderness beyond his borders, but the Queen and her Council are more concerned with Medb. They decide to summon her before them, to interrogate her and if she proves to be a threat to eliminate her.

The next morning, Laylina and Rahniel takes Medb to the Hostel of the Laughing Cat, to acquire more permanent lodgings. Laylina introduces her to Dark Eileen, the hostel’s serving girl. After eating, they invite her to go with them to a spa, where they receive massages, exfoliations, facials, manicures, and finally a soak in a hot tub surrounded by scented candles and oil. As they chat, Eileen boasts that she is an undefeated wrestler, and Medb challengers her. She defeats Medb easily, but Medb pulls a muscle. Eileen massages it with oil and relieves the pain. She also massages Medb’s breasts. Laylina makes a discreet exit and Medb and Eileen have sex. Afterwards, they meet up with Laylina at a nearby tavern. While there, Creme approaches Medb and informs her that she is required to appear before the cat council that night. The rest of the afternoon the two serving girls show Medb around and go shopping. They then return to the hostel and have dinner, after which Laylina returns to the inn.

Medb relaxes in the hostel's garden as she waits for Creme to escort her to the meeting place. Teehar tells her that he took service with her hoping she will help him find his lost mate. She agrees to do what she can.

Creme takes her to the meeting place of the Council. When she arrives she finds Carbfind present. The cat queen asks her to tell how she found Creme, which she does. She asks Carbfind to verify her story. Instead he accuses her of having masterminded the kidnapping. She is incensed and tries to attack him, but is restrained by the cats. Then she calls forth Marrowsucker, who corroborates Medb’s story. The cat queen forces the larval Fomorian from Carbfind’s body, which Creme kills. Medb scans the clearing and locates a hidden Fomorian. She forces it to reveal itself, and it turns out to be Elatha. The queen banishes Elatha from Ulthar on pain of death and he leaves. She then confides in Medb that she believes the Fomorians are up to no good in the Forbidden Lands, and asks for her help in finding out what they are up to. She and Carbfind return to the hostel where they spend the night together.

The next morning the Cat Queen and the Chief Elder of her Council meet with her. She agrees to keep an eye on the Fomorians, and to take Creme as a companion. The cats welcome her to the Dreamlands and leave her and Carbfind in peace.

Next eBook: The Denver Walker

The next story in my schedule to be published through Smashwords will be:

The Denver Walker

Col. Eile and Maj. Sunny have been given a desperate mission: destroy the alien robotic Walker before it destroys Denver. However, their weapon uses unproven technology, and the Walker's defenses are nearly impenetrable. They know it's a suicide mission, but millions of lives are at stake. They must succeed, somehow.

This will be another free ebook.