Emma Newman's Blog, page 24

Renegade A to Z – C is for…

… confidence. And lack thereof.

The last month has been an even steeper learning curve than usual. I've been organising book launches (organising events in the real world has never been one of my strong points) and also learning what it is like to have the added demands of promoting a book along side all of the plates I keep spinning already.

I was hoping that once the first launch party was under my belt, the others would be easier, or at least a little less nerve-wracking.

I was wrong. It's just over 48 hours until my launch party in Shepton Mallet, and on Saturday there is the London book launch, and, again, I am so nervous I feel sick.

Just like the last time, my body is full of adrenalin and I am having nightmares every night. My Dad says that confidence is like a muscle, it gets stronger the more you use it. It just seems like my confidence muscle doesn't work very well.

It may be hard to believe, but there was a time in my life when I wasn't like this. I don't want to go into the reasons why I'm like this now, this isn't the right place to do it. What's important is that I think this is why I still try and do all these things that terrify me, because deep down, I know I should be doing them. I know I am capable on a deep level, there's just a thick pile of anxious rubbish piled on top of it that crushes me constantly.

It might also be why I am good at appearing to be confident. So many people have looked surprised when I've confessed how frightened I was during an event or something or other. "But you looked so confident, I never would have guessed!" they say, but I know how afraid I was, I know what was hidden under the act.

Maybe I need to see it the other way around. Maybe I need to start seeing what they perceive as how I really am, and that all of this gut-wrenching before and after is an out-dated symptom of an extreme defence mechanism, put in place many years ago when life was just too hard for me to deal with in any other way.

There is one benefit of a lack of confidence however; it prevents another c;

Complacency

This is one thing I could never be accused of! I never, ever believe that just because I have succeeded in something once, I will do so again. It's an exhausting way to live, but it helps me to achieve the things I set my heart upon. One day, I hope I'll be able to do this without the tiring part.

Renegade A to Z: B is for…

…booth, as in recording booth. Actually, if I'm honest, that isn't one of the B words on my mind right now. They're all expletives, as the PC I use for my audio work died a horrible death yesterday evening and I have wasted hours and hours buying a new one and trying to get it all set up as a replacement. Not a happy bunny.

But I need to be positive here, and have faith that once my external drive has copied over the files I can troubleshoot the sound level differences I've detected with my test recording and get going again. So today, I'm going to show you my marvellous audio book recording booth, made out of recycled materials by my very clever Step-dad.

When I decided to go pro with the audio book recording, I knew that I needed to get a pro mic, and there would probably be egg-box foam involved somewhere. The mic was easy enough to source and get, but it picked up every tiny sound I was unaware of using the rubbish USB mic I had previously. I needed a booth.

I salivated over various set-ups online (including that funky foam), but all were way out of my budget, so I went and spoke to my Stepdad about what I needed and he designed and made this:

Naked recording booth

Yes, those are two old wardrobe doors, made into a booth shape with two detachable frames (my office doubles as guest bedroom, so it needed to be able to cope with occasional dismantling). Recycling at its best.

Of course, it would be an absolutely appalling recording booth in this state (all those sound waves bouncing around like billy-oh), so here it is modestly dressed in velvet:

Dressed in its beautiful velvet garb

Not only does velvet soak up those sound waves beautifully, it also looks lovely, was free as I have had it lying around for years (I must make a dress out of it all one day) and has the added benefit of making me feel like I am stepping into a fortune teller's booth every time I record.

Mic and e-reader goodness

Inside, I have my mic and music stand for my e-reader, which I use for all my recording work now, and here's a little picture of them too. Not shown is the desk lamp that is now tied to the music stand with ribbon.

So there you have it, my little recording booth. Hopefully I'll be recording in it later on, the memories of recent tech hell fading rapidly… fingers crossed!

Oh! B is also for back-up, thank goodness I was pretty obsessive about that and actually have the files on an external hard drive.

Renegade A to Z: A is for …

… audio books, Audacity, agents and anxiety dreams.

Myself and three other people got talking on Twitter t'other day (as you do) about how we regretted missing the A to Z challenge that has been playing out on blogs over April. The challenge is to write a post a day for each letter of the alphabet.

Realising that we aren't slaves to memes, we three (actually, now four) decided to do our own, and that's what May will be all about here. Not so long ago I was bemoaning the fact that I've become a book launch bore, and I'm hoping this will freshen things up around here. Also, I quite like the idea of alphabetising what's on my mind at the moment, and it means I can talk about the things people requested when I asked what you wanted me to write about.

First up is one of those requests: Audio books, and specifically my work as an audio book narrator.

I fell into this by accident. Actually, almost everything I most love in my life has been started by accident, my son being the only exception! I was inspired to start podcasting 20 Years Later by Joely Black – one of my fellow renegades and someone you'll be meeting very soon – before I had a publishing deal for it. I've never considered my voice to be nice to listen to, I'd never read professionally before, and all of a sudden, people started listening and sending me lovely notes and comments about how much they were enjoying my book and how much they were enjoying listening to my voice!

Well, that was a pleasant shock.

I podcasted the entire novel with a crappy Skype headset mic and my laptop, and realised that I really wanted to do more, bought a professional mic (Shure Legendary), my step-dad made me a brilliant recording booth and the rest is history. I've now recorded two full audio books written by other people, which will be available to buy soon hopefully, a steampunk novella, a selection of stories and flashes, and also an audio book version of From Dark Places which I have almost finished.

I love it, for so many reasons. I love the challenge, the technical aspects and the fact that it's very different to all the other creative work I do, i.e. not in front of a computer. But what I love best about it is that when I record a novel, it's like climbing inside it. I have to really examine the characters and think about how they sound, what little voice quirks they should have – to make them realistic but also distinctive for the listener. There is also a strange intimacy, even though I obviously record alone, I am always imagining the listener, like I am in the room with them. I hope that the people who listen to my work feel that too.

The next A is for Audacity

Audacity is the software I use to record and edit my voice work. It was recommended to me, and I found it immediately intuitive and easy to use. It's absolutely brilliant, and free, which is an added boon for fellow struggling creatives.

And the next A is for…

… agent (sorry, I couldn't pick just one, there's a lot floating about in my brain at the moment). Recently, an author friend whom I admire (he wrote that steampunk novella) called Adam Christopher landed an agent at a prestigious New York agency and it brought the question back to my mind again about whether I should go back on the hunt for one too. Oh – he's another A too!

Back when I was looking for a home for 20 Years Later I submitted to agents as well as publishers, but none took me up and I ended up landing a publisher without one. I dithered at the time about hurriedly finding one to help me negotiate the contract, but when I discovered that the marvellous Society of Authors offers a free contract vetting service, I joined them and benefited from their advice.

Since then I managed to land a contract for my short story anthology too, so on the face of it, it could be argued that I don't need an agent. But I'm not sure. You see, I'm in this for the long game. 20 Years Later is the first in a trilogy, and there's another trilogy nagging to be written once that one is finished. There's volume 2 of From Dark Places brewing in the basement too, and I aim to make a career of my writing. I have a suspicion that in order to do this in the best way possible, a good agent would help me a great deal.

But I simply can't bear the thought of going through that awful querying process again. Yuk. Maybe it's like childbirth, maybe after enough years I'll forget how awful that process was and try again. Four years later however I still remember childbirth with astonishing detail, so it doesn't bode well for the agent hunt. It's on my mind, that's all.

And last up is: Anxiety dreams

I had one last night, the first of many I will no doubt have this week in the lead up to the Shepton Mallet and London book launches.

Unsurprisingly, I have a lot of anxiety dreams, being the scaredy cat that I am, but last night's was pretty epic. I won't go into lots of detail, here are some of the mishaps that happened in the dream realm version of my Shepton launch: They hired a 90 year old woman to read one of my stories instead of me – and half way through it she decided she didn't like it and started making stuff up as she went along. I forgot the pen I have chosen (in the real world) to do the next signings, and ended up borrowing a ball point pen that (of course) ran out mid signing. But the pièce de résistance was that when I reached into the box to get out a copy to sign, the cover was absolutely awful – a crappy Word doc creation that the event organisers had printed specially, and looked nothing like the proper cover.

I mean that really is textbook isn't it? But there's more! My unconscious mind didn't think it was enough to usurp me as reader, destroy my reputation as a writer, take away my means of signing my name to it and butcher the books themselves, it also created an apocalyptic fire storm sweeping across the country that caught up to the venue just as I was trying to leave. Honestly, that entire dream was worthy of the Syfy channel.

I'm laughing as I remember it now, but let me tell you, at three o'clock in the morning it was awful.

So, there you have all the A's currently most on my mind. And tomorrow, the post will be brought to you by the letter B.

Friday Flash: Doll

It wasn't enough that it had her sister's hair, it had to smell like her too. Josie wiped the glue off her hands and took the doll to her sister's bedroom.

The perfume was easy to find, Josie squirted the voodoo doll twice, making her nose tickle. Then she noticed the kohl pencil and used that to draw on the eyes, liking the way the blue made the face look even more like her sister.

Cradling it in her palms, she went into her bedroom and laid the small wax effigy on the newspaper that had protected the carpet from its creation. The air was oppressive, she could see the heat haze through the open window. Leonie would be home soon and then her parents, so she had to work fast.

"You," she said, pointing at the doll and lowering her voice. "You are my sister, Leonie Jane Lassiter, Bringer of Doom and Sorrow, the most evil girl ever to walk the halls of Westfield School."

Josie smiled, liking the sound of that. She pulled out the wizard's cape she hid right at the back of her wardrobe, one that no-one else knew she still wore. It felt good.

"You have done terrible things to your sister," she boomed on. "Terrible things and now you… will…. pay!"

She ran into the kitchen, grabbed the lemon juice and the ready chopped garlic in a jar, and returned with a flourish of her cloak.

"For reading my diary, I curse you with red and itchy eyes!"

She jerked drops of lemon juice onto the kohl eyes, enjoying the way it made the blue dots smear and run down the side of the doll's head, like Leonie's make up should be running now, hopefully whilst she was walking home with friends.

"For telling Mum and Dad about World of Warcraft, I curse you to always smell garlic wherever you go – forever!"

She used a pencil to dig out a scoop of garlic chunks and smeared them across the doll's face, immediately filling the room with its pungent smell.

Her phone chimed; a Facebook notification. She opened the link, pressing the garlic bits hard into the wax nose as the screen loaded.

"@JosieLass isn't this your sister and you know who?" Her best friend had linked to a picture in her sister's album.

Leonie's arms – her skinny stick-like evil arms – were wrapped around the most beautiful boy in the school. The one she had described so lovingly in the diary her sister had stolen and read four days ago.

Josie screamed and threw the phone across the room before leaping up to grab the pack of pins from her sewing box. "Bitch!" she yelled, driving the first pin out of the box into the doll's head.

She felt a pressure in her own skull as she picked up the second pin, and a deep rolling thunder intensified it. Through her black rage, there was a bright chink of delight. Perfect; everyone knew that dark magic worked best during a storm.

"This is for stealing my future boyfriend!" she drove the second pin deeper into the doll's head and left it there. She thought of when Leonie broke the figurine and blamed it on her, and got away with it, the same when she'd stolen the last pound from her mother's purse. They always believed her because she was so pretty and perfect, like a little doll. Not like Jumbo Josie.

The thunder clouds were coming in fast, eating up the blue sky, the air feeling heavy with impending rain. Josie stuck another pin in the doll's stomach. "You'll never have babies – and if you do, they'll come out looking like alien monsters and people will run away from them screaming."

A reel of cotton inspired her to wrap a length of it around the doll's neck and then hang it from the door handle. She prodded it to make it swing from side to side, like a murderer from a hangman's noose. She imagined Leonie choking to death on the pavement outside their school and laughed till she wept.

The boom of thunder was so loud it made her squeal, a gust of wind blasted in through the open window and the door slammed shut. Hearing a thud in the hallway, she opened the door and saw the broken doll on the floor, its head rolling towards the bathroom, the body broken into five pieces.

She stopped laughing.

Rain drummed on the windowsill of her room, she ran and shut the window, marvelling at the storm's sudden ferocity. Her alarm clock was wet, wiping the raindrops from it she noticed how late it was. Where was everyone?

The phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Josie? It's Dad, are you feeling better? Listen, your mother's train is late, so get Leonie to cook something for you both ok?"

"But she's-" she stopped herself. If Leonie was lying dead outside, she didn't want her Dad to know it had anything to do with her. "I'll tell her," she said.

She swept up the wax and put away the cloak. The storm passed and she wondered whether she should go out and look for Leonie, but just as she was reaching for her coat, the front door opened and she walked in.

"Lee! You're not dead!"

Her sister's lip curled. "Course I'm not."

"Have you been smelling garlic?"

"No. God you're so weird, why can't I have a normal little sister?"

Josie felt a pang of disappointment as her sister shoved her out of the way to hang up her drenched coat. "Not even stomach ache?"

Leonie kicked off her shoes, aiming them at Josie's legs, then turned to go to her room. Josie decided that the only satisfaction she was going to get was watching her sister's squelching socks leaving wet footprints behind her. That was before she saw the blood, and its steady stream down her sister's legs, mingling with the rainwater.

—

P.S. If you liked this story, you'll like this too…

Shepton Mallet Book Launch!

I realised with horror that May 5th is actually only just over a week away, and that's the date of my most local book launch event for From Dark Places. Without further ado, here are the details:

Local author book launch!

Thursday May 5th 7-9pm

Chats Cafe, Shepton Mallet High St

Free glass of wine

Books on sale for £7.99

Readings by the author (oh, that's me), copies signed in person.

Why Chats Café?

Well, earlier in the year, Shepton Mallet held its Love Our Libraries Day in various venues throughout the town as well as the library, and my first ever "Meet the author" event was held in Chats. The people are lovely and the tea there is very good. It's also slap bang in the middle of Shepton Mallet High Street, and lord knows we're all keen to get people to come into the centre of town.

As Chats is a café it also means I can offer people a free glass of wine as a little bribe added incentive to come along and support a local author.

Isn't that the same day as the local elections?

Um… yes, but I'm hoping that if people are out and about voting (which only takes a few minutes anyway) they'll fancy a glass of wine and a story or two on the way home.

So, if you live in Shepton and surrounds, it would be great to see you. Please do tell your friends, and here is a link to a poster if you are a particularly kind book-loving soul who works somewhere with a notice board… Shepton Book Launch Poster (Made by the lovely @FutureNostalgic – thanks Sam!)

I have set up an Eventbrite ticket thingy, so you can reserve your free ticket there, or contact me from here, or just comment below to let me know you're coming – it helps me to a) sleep better in the run up knowing that someone will be there and b) let's me know how many bottles of wine to bring as a minimum.

Thanks!

Em xx

P.S. There are also launch parties in London on May 7th, Bristol May 21st and in Oxford May 25th. Then I will fall over.

And now for something completely different…

I'm aware that I'm blogging infrequently at the moment, and that when I am, I'm talking about launch dates and things related to From Dark Places. I'm worried I'm becoming one of "those" authors; the ones who are reduced to an endless stream of tweets saying "Check out my book!"

Urgh.

But I can see why it happens; a book launch, like all babies coming into the world, can take over your life. I've been working 12-14 hour days at least 6 days a week (aside from days when I have been on child care duty) for the last month or so, and I am, quite frankly, exhausted.

Not all of those hours are going into book launch organising or online promotion, as I do have to write things for commercial clients that pay the bills, but a significant proportion of my time is going into promoting From Dark Places. And guess what I really haven't been spending enough time on? Yup, you guessed it, writing fiction!

I'm not going to complain, because every time I catch myself dreading picking up the phone to call a venue, or fretting about whether people are going to come to the next launch event and not sleeping as a result, I remind myself that I have worked for many years to get to this point.

Rewind two years ago and I was so desperate to be published, it gnawed at me like an insatiable hunger. I read other author blogs in which they bemoaned the fact that all their time was taken up with promoting their book to the extent they had no time to write the next one and I thought "You lucky git. At least you have a book out there to promote!" And now I am one of those authors, there's no way I am going to moan.

And it hasn't even really got going yet. I've been working hard to give From Dark Places the best start possible before 20 Years Later is released, and my goodness that's coming up fast. In fact, the e-book version of 20 Years Later is available for pre-order on Amazon already, and that is such a weird thought!

So I'm not going to complain about these long hours and sleepless nights. I'm not going to complain about not having time to think, let alone write a new story (or finish the last part of the trilogy, 20 Years Later – Revelation). No siree bob, this is all a huge privilege and I am so delighted to be in this position. I am instead going to talk about something completely different. I do have an interview with a cool author lined up to post, but wanted to wait until Easter was out of the way first, so people are less likely to miss her. So, I need to write about something else…

(Em sips tea and thinks…)

(A tumbleweed rolls past…)

Oh my. Have I forgotten how to blog about other things? Is this the equivalent of the engaged couple who have forgotten how to talk about anything other than the impending wedding?

It doesn't help that I'm shattered I guess. Okay, over to you my lovelies, what would you like me to write about next?

London launch for From Dark Places

Blimey, it's all go at the moment I can tell you. These are exciting times, and now I have fully recovered from my crazy weekend Up North, I am organising the next set of launches for From Dark Places.

Which leads me on to announcing the London launch, and this time, the launch comes with snazzy online ticket booking. The tickets are FREE – it's just that it will help me keep track of numbers, and reassure my worried brain that more than one person will come!

Where: The Pitcher and Piano, 42 Kingsway, Holborn, London, WC2B 6EX

When: Saturday May 7th, 3-5 pm

Click here to get your ticket!

Copies of From Dark Places will be available to buy for £7.99 and I will sign them for you there. I'll also do a couple of readings and answer any questions if people have them – as long as they're about writing and stories, and not quantum mechanics. Or maths. I don't like numbers. But stories, writing, publishing, games; all good.

There will be a launch in Shepton Mallet (much closer to home!) on May 5th, I'll do a separate post for that, and one in Bristol and one in Oxford, dates and venues for those to be confirmed. If you'd like me to send you details for any of those once I have them, drop me a line with your email address and I'll make sure you're on the invite list.

Yay!

P.S. From Dark Places has a Facebook page now, if you are that way inclined…

E-book pricing and perception of value

There's something happening in one corner of the book world that is terrifying me, and it's all to do with e-book pricing and perception of value. I'm still all tangled up in the arguments flying around, but there is one thing about this which I really don't like the look of; giving one-star reviews to e-books because the price has been perceived as too high.

Now if you are not an e-reader owner, and don't intend to be, stick with me, because I'd really like to hear your opinion as someone with perhaps a more neutral perspective.

The e-book revolution

Never before have so many novels been so readily available. With an e-reader, a book can be bought and downloaded in seconds, ready to read immediately on your device of choice. No waiting for the post to deliver your order, no trip to the local book shop (if it even exists in your part of the world any more) and no wait for it to come into the library.

On the other side of the coin, this has opened up opportunities for self-publishers and small presses unlike anything else before, enabling more people (hell, myself included!) than ever to make their writing available to people without having to invest a huge amount of money to do so.

Sounds good, right? Yes, and it is. But something has been happening to the perception of value of e-books that is turning quite ugly, and is creating a group of people that are leaving one star reviews for books (big mainstream books as an example here ) as a protest against the price.

As a protest against the price. I repeat that, because that is what I find terrifying. And confusing. Perhaps I am ignorant, but I am struggling to think of any other creative product or industry in which the creator / artist is given bad ratings due to the price of their product. Do people tell others that an exhibition of art is crap because they can't afford paintings that cost several thousand pounds? Has anyone tried to dissuade others from going to see a musical because the tickets cost over fifty pounds per person? Do people give one-star reviews in their droves to DVDs and Xbox and PS3 games because of the price?

No.

Ah, you might say, these people leaving one star reviews aren't trying to dissuade people from reading the book, just from paying the set price for the e-version, so it's not the same.

Well, I beg to differ. You see, I believe reviews of books are a critical part of social proof, they really do make a difference to someone deciding to buy a book or not. Whilst it is possible to read down into the comments and see that it's about price, some people just scan the average rating, and it may well affect how visible that book is, along with sales. I have a very limited understanding of the arcane art of rising books in Amazon ranking, I hasten to add.

But it goes further than that. Some people are even urging the authors to tell their publishers to change the price, and according to one article I read and cannot for the life of me remember where, have even accused the author of greed for not taking a stand!

Now, 20 Years Later is being published as an e-book in May, and I have no control over its price whatsoever. If the book starts to receive one-star reviews in this kind of mob protest, I will be devastated.

These people want to attack publishers for greed (and whether that is right or not is another vicious argument to be held another day) for pricing their e-books above $2.99, or even above $0.99, or just far enough below the cost of the paperback or hardback version, but it is the author who suffers. And that just doesn't seem fair. Why not email the publisher? Why not email Amazon? Why punish the person who wrote the book and has no choice over pricing whatsoever?

What about the retailers?

Reading the comments on any post about this issue on any of the high traffic sites like the one I linked to above can be very depressing. In that article, the people leaving one star reviews are incensed by the fact that the hardcover costs less than the e-book, and on a surface level, that does seem insane. But no-one seems to be talking about Amazon's aggressive pricing policies that can lower the price of a hardback to get more sales, and in doing so making it lower than the e-book, and I wouldn't be surprised if they were hoping it would cause exactly this kind of furore. They have been doing all they can, it seems, to drive down e-book prices, and it's not surprising seeing as it is in their interest to do so to make more people buy Kindles and tie them into using them.

Perception of value

And another thing that bothers me about these surface level arguments is that people are saying that an e-book should be cheap as chips because no physical item exists, and therefore costs less to produce.

Since when has a good book been easy and cheap to produce? If nothing else a lot of time is put into it, and if anyone other than the author gets involved, they need to be paid. But I'm not going to get sidetracked, as I want to just focus on the perception of value and how it seems so incredibly distorted when it comes to fiction e-books. Our little corner of the industry is up in arms about charging anywhere up to $15 for an e-book version of a novel, when the self-help corner of the e-book industry charges anywhere between $0-$200 or more for e-books which are only a fraction of the word count (which is a poor way to measure value too, but stick with me here).

It seems to me that the self-help industry e-book publishers can charge higher prices because there is a perception that they are selling a solution, rather than "just an e-book". And the really big people in that industry are making a hell of a lot of money. I have no problem with that, I just find it interesting to compare that with people being incensed by fiction e-book prices that are a fraction of the price of self-help books.

What is that saying? That fiction is less important? That because it doesn't offer some kind of solution to a problem that's stopping you earning tonnes of money and being successful, it doesn't merit even a small price? Even though they are both digitally delivered?

I don't know. Seems all backwards to me. I'm not saying for an instant that fiction e-books should be priced equivalently, because that is just stupid, but I would like to see less aggressive behaviour when an author's work is in the public domain with a price they have not set.

And yes, this is because I'm an author and I'm afraid it will happen to me. Absolutely. And it's not because I am greedy, as all writers know, the last thing we do this for is the money. I am afraid that my book will not be rated based on its plot, its characters, my ability to weave a world that takes you far away from your own, but will instead be used as a throwaway tool in an argument about pricing that is entirely beyond my control.

Book launches and lessons and loveliness

Thirty years ago my grandmother saw me working on something at a table and asked what I was doing. "Writing a story Nana" I said to her. Thirty years later, she came to my first book launch for From Dark Places, held in Manchester last week. And it meant the world to both of us. It was a good day to have it in some respects: the day after my son's 4th birthday, the day before my grandmother's 74th birthday. That just felt right.

It was a crazy weekend, and I learnt a lot of lessons, which I thought I'd share here.

Bring it on

What do you think is the thing a debut author fears most in the run up to their first reading and book launch? Zombie apocalypse? That no-one will turn up? Losing their voice?

Well, thankfully, only the last of those three fears came to pass in Manchester. At one point I thought the second one would too, but thankfully that didn't happen. But yes, I started to lose my voice on the Wednesday and by the Friday morning it was gone completely.

Cue a great deal of Strepsil eating, gargling with TCP and a total vow of silence until that evening. When the time for the launch came, my voice was a gravely imitation of itself, and had no power to it at all. But that was only one worry.

Back to that second one on the list. People were slow to arrive, which was fine, as I had it in mind to start later than the billed starting time. But then a couple of people got in touch to say they were ill (much appreciated) and I heard on Twitter that one of the guests I was most excited about coming was held up due to train problems – also fine. But a few people who said they were coming simply didn't show up, and I started to panic.

So much so, I went bright red, and I mean really red! You could have fried an egg on my face. I was having a quiet panic, worrying that my Dad had been kind enough to hire a wonderful room at the Cornerhouse for me, and I was unable to fill it.

But, thank goodness, more people arrived and suddenly the room felt pleasantly full – panic one was over.

The first lesson learnt…

… Even when people say they are coming, they may not come and won't necessarily let you know. Don't assume numbers based on anything except who is in the room.

The unexpected star

A week before the launch, I was losing sleep over whether everything would work out well. Then on the actual day I woke up without a voice. Brilliant. But by then, buoyed up by the fantastic support of my online friends and a certain someone I will mention later, I managed to lose the anxiety. I didn't freak out about the lost voice, because I had a solution: my son.

The Bean was a star. He sat on my lap, I whispered in his ear and he related what I said. It meant I could welcome everyone whilst saving the ragged ends of my voice, and involve him too. And he was fantastic!

The second lesson learnt…

… Sometimes when something goes wrong, the solution can make the event even better than it would have been.

All's well that ends well

I really enjoyed reading aloud to the group. I was surprised by how much actually, it was the first live reading I've ever done to that many people. I spend hours in my recording booth, making audio books with no response or feedback at all. To see and hear people laughing (at the right places thank goodness!) and enjoying my work was bliss, even if my voice sounded like I was a late night DJ who smokes fifty a day.

Books were signed and sold, lovely people were met and there was a good atmosphere. When I asked people to put prompts in my favourite multi-coloured velvet hat a al The Short Story Club, the response was fantastic! It felt like a wonderful way to bring my little book into the world. And the immensely cool Isabel Joely Black was there (@TheCharmQuark) who live tweeted, took pictures and wrote up the event too! Wow, thanks Joely – and here is the link for the rest of you: http://joelyblack.com/?p=4292

Sunny Sunderland on the Sunday

Very early on the Sunday morning (still exhausted from the launch and my grandmother's birthday on the Saturday!) I set out from Manchester up to Sunny Sunderland to meet the lovely Sam (@futurenostalgic) who I have been friends with online for about 2 years.

Sam has done the most amazing things for me in the run up to the event. He made posters (that are easily adaptable for my other events and look fantastic) and made bookmarks and sent detailed directions and well, just organised me when I was simply too busy and swamped by launchiness to think more than thirty minutes ahead.

And for my fellow twitter friends, he really is every bit as lovely in real life as he is online!

We were both hoping that some writers would be coming, and people from the local book groups too, but alas, it seems the glorious sunshine was too tempting and they didn't show. But I had a great time chatting with Sam and his family and I got to meet the lovely Fiona who I've been chatting to online too, and sign a few copies in person for them. They treated me like royalty, and even made me one of my most precious surprise presents ever: an "I am brave" badge which I adore. Sam wrote up a post about the event which is here: http://future-nostalgic.blogspot.com/2011/04/emma-newman-on-tour.html

I learnt two lessons from that event:

Meeting people in real life is really, really important to do when you can.

And secondly – the most important lesson of the whole weekend:

Your book launch / event is just one possible thing out of a list that people can choose to attend or not – it is not the most important event that month that has kept them awake at night. They have not waited all their life to be there, and the book you have poured your soul, sweat and tears into for many, many hours is just another book to them.

And you know what? That's okay.

I have been freed of a kind of madness that descended over me last week. I lost sleep, I worried, I obsessed, but the events over the weekend have put it all back into perspective. Of course this is still hugely important to me, but it's back in its place.

And the dates for the next events will be set much further ahead! But that's enough from me, time to make some food for me and the Bean. I'll leave you with one of my favourite pictures from the event; the moment I signed my grandmother's copy. I love you Nana.

That felt good

From Dark Places has arrived!

Look! They're real!

I haven't been hallucinating, the boxes of books really did arrive yesterday, and that means you can buy From Dark Places now!

You can order a signed copy here and I will post it anywhere in the world, all of the postage has been calculated for you.

If you prefer, you can buy an e-book version here, in PDF, .mobi and .ePub formats.

I spent most of yesterday setting those pages up, then when they were done, I was too scared to announce them! So thanks to my two secret testers, who valiantly braved the frontier and proved to me that it really is time to send this out into the world.

Can you help me to spread the word?

If you can tweet, post on your blog, tell people in the bus queue or send carrier pidgeons with those neat little coded messages tied to their leg to help me spread the word, I'd be forever in your debt. I'm quietly proud of this anthology, Jodi Cleghorn of eMergent Publishing has done a fabulous job polishing those 25 stories up for you, and I'd love to hear what you think. Oh, and when you buy the book (in e and print format) you'll find out how to access the secret area that contains notes on each story and how it came to be.

Ta-dah! Done. Now for a cup of tea. And a choccy. It's not every day you launch your first ever book after all…

P.S. Exciting news about the audio version coming soon!