Marie Sexton's Blog, page 10

30-Day Blogging Challenge, Day 11: Favorite TV Shows

Talking about just one favorite TV show would be a pretty short post, so I’m going to talk about a few of them.

Now, I have to confess: I watch way too much TV. My husband and I have lots of shows we record every week, but there are very few that go on my “OMG, can’t wait for the next one!” list.

One-Season Wonders: Firefly and Common Law

Because they each only had one season, I sort of consider these honorable mentions, but they’re both so good, I can’t possibly skip them.

Firefly

Everybody loves Firefly, right? Mal’s such a badass. Jayne’s a freak. Kaylee’s awesome. And there was just so much potential that Whedon never got to play out. (Like what exactly was up with Preacher?)

Common Law

This is a lesser-known show, which is a bummer. It starts out as the usual “buddy cop” trope, where two very opposite people are forced to be partners. What made it was funny was that the two men were also forced to attend couples counseling, which added a great deal of humor and turned the usual “will they fall in love?” bullshit on its head.

It really shouldn’t have been canceled.

And now, on with the list!

Like I said before, I watch a *lot* of TV, but there are three shows that quickly rose to the top of my list.

The X-Files

It’s been a lot of years, but few shows captured my imagination like The X-Files. And few TV couples are as compelling as Mulder and Scully. Honestly, I think the reason it works so well is because the producers didn’t start shoving the relationship down our throats from the get-go. Mulder and Scully start out as work partners, and nothing more. Mulder keeps watching porn. Scully keeps scoffing at him. Their relationship develops organically, over several seasons, unlike most TV shows these days, where the writers start playing the “will they or won’t they?” game in episode 1.

For those random few who’ve never watched it, this is how almost every episode of The X-Files plays out:

There are so many great X-Files episodes, but because I love playing with point of view, and I dig unreliable narrators, my absolute favorite episode is “Bad Blood”, where we get the same story twice — first from Mulder’s POV, and then from Scully’s.

Not surprisingly, their accounts don’t quite match up, and the differences are hilarious.

Justified

Once upon a time, Raylan Givens and Boyd Crowder dug coal together.

That’s the backbone of this show.

Years later, Raylan returns to Harlan County, Kentucky, as a Deputy US Marshal. Boyd is the son of the area’s biggest, baddest crime boss (and takes over as the boss, before long). They’re now on opposite sides of the law, but there’s a connection between these two men that keeps them coming back to each other, and keeps the show running.

Boyd is my favorite antihero ever. He always has another card up his sleeve.

What really makes this show great though is the humor. Now, don’t get me wrong. This show is violent. I mean, it’s insanely bloody. You won’t believe how many people get shot in the head. But through it all, Justified maintains this amazing, underlying humor that somehow makes it feel light and fun, even in the midst of some pretty insane shit. (Raylan’s boss, Art, is hysterical.) (I really wanted to post some video snippets, but there are very few on YouTube.)

Hubby and I are binge-watching our way through the entire series for the second time, and enjoying every minute of it.

The Closer

The Closer is, without a doubt, my favorite TV show of all time. I’ve watched the entire show start to finish multiple times, and I still love it.

The Closer is proof that flawed characters make entertaining characters. Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson may always close her cases, but other than that, she’s a hot fucking mess. She’s demanding, selfish, and unreasonable, but she gets justice for her victims, no matter what. And it’s the “no matter what” that makes the show fun. Brenda lies. She manipulates. She bends rules all the time. In her mind, the end justifies the means, and if it pisses off her squad, her husband, the district attorney, or her boss in the process… well, she’d probably say that isn’t her problem. As long as there’s justice in the end, Brenda’s job is done.

Unfortunately, it’s impossible to find the really good scenes on YouTube, but the first minute or two of this one are a good introduction to Brenda.

Frankly, I think this is why the second version of the show, Major Crimes, bores me to tears. Yes, it’s mostly the same characters (in theory, at least) but instead of Brenda — a flawed, messy, brilliant but irrational leader who tosses out lines like, “For heaven’s sake, Fritzy, if we all stop lying to each other, how will we ever get to the truth?” — we get Raydor, the ultimate Mary Sue. Whereas Brenda often had to choose between catching the killer and making other people happy, Raydor always manages to make everybody happy. She never argues with her boss, has trouble with the D.A., or makes a mistake. And the writers have rubbed all the rough edges off the squad, too. They’ve tamed Sanchez and made Flynn and Provenza politely boring.

But I’m getting off track.

The Closer is funny. That’s what it boils down to.

I love law dramas that manage to keep things light, and The Closer did that. And while Brenda may be flawed, there’s no denying that she’s awesome as hell.

Your Turn

So, I guess it’s your turn. What are your favorite TV shows?

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30-Day Blogging Challenge, Day 10: How Important is Education? (With ebook giveaway)

Today’s topic is supposed to be how important I think education is. At first, I thought that was a stupid topic. Of course education is important. But…

Well, I’ve decided to run with it.

Stray Cats and Streetwise Orphans
Photo by c.Everett Collection / Rex Features (1550648e)
OLIVER!, Jack Wild
Oliver! – 1968

I have a fondness for the streetwise orphan in fiction. It started with Dodger in Oliver! (the 1968 musical version) and continued with The Outsiders (who weren’t necessarily orphans, but didn’t seem to have much parental supervision). As an adult, I still love this character trope. There’s Mildmay the Fox in Sarah Monette’s Doctrine of Labyrinth series, Bird and Ninepin in *Lyndsay Faye’s Timothy Wilde trilogy, Rusty in Major Crimes (even though the show mostly bores me, these days)…

The point is, most of these characters have very little (if any) formal education, but they’re all incredibly smart in the ways that count. There’s a certain nobility of character that comes from having to fight for survival. There’s an alluring romanticism to the fictional idea of the school of hard knocks. Once I started writing, it didn’t take me long to feature my own streetwise orphan — Angelo, in A to Z. In fact, Angelo was written almost entirely around one line in “(She’s) Sexy & 17”, by the Stray Cats.

(That girl is definitely older than 17!)

The key line is at about 2:39: “Can’t learn nothin’ in school they don’t teach you on the streets!”

Except, Not Really

All that said, it’s probably a given that I think education is incredibly important, as evidenced by the fact that later in the series, Angelo’s greatest wish is to go back to school. But here’s the thing: that degree in and of itself means nothing. It’s just a piece of paper. The important part is realizing that the world is a big place, and that there’s always more to learn. In fact, that reminds me of a riddle I read in a book many years ago. The book’s plot and title are long forgotten, but the riddle remains.

What’s the biggest room in the world?

The room for improvement.

It’s not about how much formal education somebody has so much as how much they decide to expand themselves. That’s why I love characters like Justified‘s Boyd Crowder so much — his formal education may be lacking, but he’s incredibly well-read, meaning he’s probably the most “educated” character on the show.

More Streetwise Orphans

Of course, Angelo isn’t my only streetwise orphan. And if you add in my Outsiders-style, “almost orphans,” the list gets even longer. There’s Deacon in Song of Oestend, Eldon in Cinder, Cody in Trailer Trash, Seth in Damned If You Do, and Misha (along with Lorenzo and their entire “family” of orphans) in Release. It’s a trope I never seem to get tired of.

Free and Discounted Orphans!

How about a sale on a couple of my orphan stories? Go to my Selz store and use discount code P3M8AJNB to get the ebook of Release for $1.49. (Discount expires 9/28/16) You can also use discount code MOH99ZKU to get the ebook of Cinder for FREE. (Offer expires 9/28/16)

*As of September 18th (when I’m writing this post), nobody has entered the drawing yet from a few days ago. Somebody should at least go enter! It’ll give you a chance to meet more streetwise orphans.

30-Day Blogging Challenge, Day 9: My Handwriting? (And a discounted ebook!)

Today’s topic is supposed to be a picture of my handwriting. I’m not really sure how I’m supposed to make an entire post out of that, but I’ll give it a shot.

How Can Anyone Read That?

Honestly, I have pretty crappy handwriting. Remember that line in Steel Magnolias where Clairee says to Ouiser, “You have the handwriting of a serial killer”? Well, mine isn’t quite that bad, but it sure isn’t good either!

(By the way, I had no idea that was how they spelled her name until I looked it up on IMDB. I always assumed it was “Weezer”.)

Anyway…

On with the post.

A to Z

The first place somebody might encounter my actual handwriting is in the epilogue of A to Z. That postcard from Ruby? Yep, I wrote that, then scanned it in. The biggest hurdle at the time was figuring out what Coda’s zip code might be. Then we had to figure how to get the Florida postmark on there. I think the art director at Dreamspinner helped me with it, but it was so long ago, I don’t remember who it was.

What’s funny is that if I were writing that book today, I’d probably assume having an image as the epilogue would be too difficult. But since it was only my second book, I was still of the mindset that I was the author and therefore I could do whatever the hell I wanted in it. (Maybe an attitude I should try to reclaim.)

My White Board

I have a magnetic white board over one of the desks in my office. I’ve posted a few random pictures of this over the year, because it usually has a list of potential and/or upcoming projects on it. Here’s how it looked a few years ago:

At the moment, there’s no list of books to be written. But a writing book I read a few months ago suggesting making a list of things you like to read in books, and then a second list of things you don’t like to read in books. It was actually a bit of a challenge for me to list the things I liked to READ, and not the things I liked to WRITE. For example, my first inclination was to put “small-town settings” on the list of things I like, because that’s what I most often write. But then I thought about the books I enjoy reading and realized I hardly ever pick books with small-town settings.

My current list looks like this:

(Note: That bottom item wasn’t written by me. My daughter added that.)

I won’t show the list of things I don’t like, but suffice it to say, it’s mostly covered in the post I did a few days ago on Literary Pet Peeves.

Outlining

I suck at outlining. I mean, I *really* suck at outlining. It just isn’t my thing, although I still do some version of it with every book, especially as I get into the last half of the book. And of course the more complicated the plot, the more I have to chart things out, although I end up with lots of lists and diagrams and lots of arrows and things crossed off. Here’s part of my “outline” for my dark, kinky, semi-cyberpunk novel, Release:

Conclusion, and a Discount!

So… how’s that for a whole post about my handwriting? Hopefully slightly more interesting than you expected. Since I ended up talking about Release, how about if I give you a discount on it? Go to my Selz store and use discount code P3M8AJNB to get the ebook of Release for $1.49. (Discount expires 9/28/16)

 

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30-Day Blogging Challenge, Day 8: Blind Space (With #Giveaway!)

Today is supposed to be “15 random facts about me.” I’ll never come up with that many, so I’m going to list a few random facts about my kinky space pirate novella, Blind Space.

Why Blind Space?
Limited Edition of Blind Space featuring the Italian cover art.

Mostly because it’s sitting here on my desk. I was recently granted permission by Triskell Edizioni (one of my Italian publishers) to use their lovely cover on a limited number of English paperbacks. The proof came yesterday, and I’ve been reading through it in bits and pieces. (It’s amazing how, no matter how many times I read through something, no matter how many editors and friends go through it, I *still* find typos every now and then!)

Now…. what facts can I share about Blind Space?

(FYI: Very mild, possibly NSFW photos below the cut.)

Fact 1: It’s All Heidi’s Fault

This book came about one day when Heidi Cullinan was trying to inspire a new story idea for me. She’d send me pictures of men and pitch a story idea. “How about a painter and a race car driver?” “How about a teacher and a fireman?” Somewhere along the way, she started adding “in space” to the end of each idea. “A teacher and a fireman IN SPACE!”

And then she sent me this:

 

Blind Space doesn’t feature a teacher OR a fireman, but that picture did help inspire Tristan’s secret fetish. (And those pantyhose get shredded about midway through the book.)

Fact 2: Pirates Are Fun

I had a lot of fun coming up with the pirates in this story. I pictured them a lot like 1980’s punk-rockers — lot of mohawks, tattoos, and guyliner. When the book was first released (by Silver Publishing), Reese Dante made this for me as a possible cover. I *loved* it — it looks just like Valero. But since Tristan doesn’t actually see Valero until the end, I felt it was a bit spoilerish. But I liked her artwork so much, she turned it into a character trading card for me instead.

Also, nothing sells books faster at Pride or SFF conventions than saying “kinky space pirates.”

(I’ll include a few more pictures below that make me think of Tristan and Valero.)

Fact 3: Yes, Valero’s Name Came from a Gas Station

Back when Heidi and I headed out on a giant road trip, which we dubbed HaMEMA (Heidi and Marie’s Excellent Manlove Adventure), we stopped at a Valero in some southern state for gas and snacks. There, I exchanged a series of blatant “good lord, you’re hot” glances with some random man (who I’m sure had killer abs, even though I couldn’t actually see them).

My original Valero

Heidi and I also each purchased stickers featuring men. Hers (a cowboy) went on her laptop and I believe inspired one of the characters in Nowhere Ranch. Mine was of a pirate (see scanned image at right). From then on, “Valero” meant either my sexy pirate or the guy I’d eye-fucked in the gas station.

And so when I started writing about space pirates a few weeks later, “Valero” seemed like the obvious choice.

Fact 4: It Won Awards

Even though I always kind of thought of Blind Space as a sex romp in space, it seems to be a bit of a reader favorite. It also won several awards, including 1st place in the 2012 Rainbow Awards for Best Gay Sci-Fi/Fantasy, and an honorable mention for Best Gay Novel. The Romance Reviews also named it the Best Book of 2012 for GLBT Romantic Science Fiction/Futuristic.

Fact 5: It’s on Sale!

If you go to my Selz store and use discount code 3NS5OZDP, you can get the ebook of Blind Space for only $1! (Discount expires 9/26/16)

Fact 6: It’s Also Available in Audio

Go here:

Amazon
Audible

And be sure to check out Fact #7.

Fact 7: I’m Giving Several Away

Remember that paperback proof I mentioned back at the beginning of the post? The one with the limited edition Italian cover? Well, somebody might as well have it. Leave a comment and I’ll choose a winner in the next day or two. Sorry, overseas folks. I’m restricting this one to US only, because I hate dealing with customs forms. But to make up for it, I’ll ALSO give away three audio downloads of Blind Space, with no international restrictions. (Be sure to say in your comment if you’re entering for the paperback, the audio, or both.)

Fact 8: A Sequel?

I’ve always had a sequel floating around in the back of my head. I’ve been thinking a bit more about writing that. I make no promises, but after reading through Blind Space again, I’m toying with the idea.

As Promised:

More pictures I’ve collected through the years that remind me of Tristan and Valero. I don’t own any of these photos, so if they’re yours and you’d like them removed, please let me know.

I imagine this is how Tristan looks after a year or two with the pirates.

 

 

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30-Day Blogging Challenge, Day 7: Places I’d Like to Move To

Today’s topic is supposed to be “someplace you’d like to visit or move to.” Well, the number of places I’d like to visit is pretty damn big. My “Places to See” board on Pinterest shows some of them: the Lofoten Islands in Norway; Hallstatt, Austria; Lichtenstein Castle in Germany; Giraffe Manor in Kenya. Honestly, I could go on all day. So I decided to concentrate on the second half of the topic: places I’d like to move to.

Estes Park, Colorado

I’ve lived in Colorado most of my life (since I was eleven). My husband’s lived here since he was three. I can’t really imagine us ever leaving, but I do sometimes think about moving to a different part of Colorado, especially when I visit Estes Park (home of the famous Stanley Hotel, where Stephen King wrote The Shining).

Estes is beautiful, nestled into a little valley in the middle of the mountains, right on the border of Rocky Mountain National Park. In the spring and fall, the elk wander down from the mountains and stroll around town like they own the place. (Some might say they do.) It’s about as picturesque as you can get.

The down side, of course, is the tourists. Throngs of them flood the town in the summer (which is gorgeous) and fall (when the leaves are changing and the elk are bugling). Winter and spring may see a slump in their numbers, but with all the cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, and snowmobiling, they never go away completely.

The Oregon Coast

While on our recent anniversary trip along the Pacific coast, I added this region to my very short “maybe I’d be willing to live here” list. I could totally see myself retiring in some little house with an ocean view.

Now, I should add that I find the ocean utterly terrifying. Big bodies of water are not my friend, and the ocean is about as scary as it gets. I have nightmares of standing in a house by the ocean during a big storm, and seeing the waves crashing higher and higher, until they’re washing me out to sea. Nonetheless, that’s exactly what I’d like to have: a little cottage on the rocks, right over the water. It needs to be high enough that I’m not living in perpetual fear, but with a good view of the waves crashing off the rocks. (I don’t particularly need a beach, so to speak.)

And if I happen to be in close proximity to some of the many vineyards in the area, even better.

Maine

I’ve never been to Maine. Everything I know about Maine, I learned reading Stephen King, and watching shows like Murder, She Wrote and Haven, which probably explains why my visions of life there aren’t cluttered by mundane realities like paying rent, picking up dog poo, or doing housework. (I also assume, based on the above material, there are lots of murders and at least a couple of vampires.)

Also, why is it that I’m terrified of the ocean, but two of the three places I’d like to live are right next to it?

I have no idea.

All I know is, I have dreams of someday living in Maine. Every once in a while, I think maybe I’ll just abandon my life. I’ll run away and change my name and live in some adorable little fishing village, in a cozy cottage heated by a wood-burning stove. (I told Heidi she should rent the cottage just down the lane, but she didn’t seem too excited by the idea.)

In the summer, I’ll eat fresh crab. In the fall, I’ll sit on the porch with my coffee, watching the leaves change. Come winter, I’ll bundle up in thick sweaters and wool socks and wander into town for hot clam chowder served with warm, crusty bread. I’ll write in the morning, spend my afternoons listening to tall tales told by burly, hirsute fishermen, and spend my evenings with a glass of wine in front of the fireplace. I’ll use my abundant royalties (this is a daydream, remember!) to pay hearty young men to shovel my walk and chop my wood (that is NOT a euphemism). (And I’ll only ogle them a little.)

And I will never, ever have dirty laundry.

Ahh. Sounds lovely, doesn’t it?

Your Turn

So many places to visit, but only three places in the world I’d want to live. How about you? Where would you move to, if you could?

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30-Day Blogging Challenge, Day 6: Dream Job

It’s maybe a bit ironic that today’s topic is “Dream Job,” since many people probably think I already have it. As an author, I make my own hours. I take vacation whenever I want. I can work in my pajamas if I want to (although I rarely do), and I make a decent living doing it. What could be better than that?

If you’d asked me back in 2010 or 2011, I would have told you yes, I’d found my dream job. Now, I’m less sure. Although it’s undoubtedly the perfect job for some people, I’m not sure I’m all that suited to it. Hence, my current hiatus.

But I don’t want this post to go winding down the “poor me” path, so I’ll just go with the spirit of the topic: what would I consider a “dream job” for me?

Used Bookstore Owner

I’m sure this wouldn’t be nearly as fun as I imagine it. My guess is that most bookstores these days are barely staying in the black. Plus, it means dealing with the public, and the public can be stupid. In fact, last time I was in my local used bookstore, a lady came in and said, “Hi. I’m looking for a book. I don’t know the title, but the cover is blue, and the author’s name is kind of weird and has a U in it.” 

It was all I could do to keep a straight face.

The really crazy thing is that the shop owner knew which book she was talking about!

As a teenager, I worked at a record store, so I know I can be perfectly happy just sorting and alphabetizing things I love. Getting to spend every day surrounded by books sounds like heaven. (Which is probably why I keep buying more of them even though I’m out of room!)

Long-Snapper in the NFL

This is a position that’s rarely talked about. Now, any on-field position in the NFL is clearly outside the realm of possibility for me since I’m female, in my forties, and mostly a couch potato. Regardless, here’s the skinny on the long-snapper:

It’s a specific skill set that few other NFL hopefuls bother to learn, meaning it’s easier to make the team. Also, as long as you don’t screw up, you have decent job security.
The long-snapper only plays a few downs per game and has a pretty low probability of getting hurt.
They don’t make billions of dollars, but they at least make the league minimum, which is damn good by most standards.
They get the best seat in the house for every single game.

Sign me up, coach! I’m ready to play.

Food Network Star

I don’t necessarily want to be a “star,” but I’d absolutely LOVE to be one of those people who gets paid to travel around the country, eating awesome food. The stars of shows like Food Porn, or Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, might have the best damn job in the whole world.

See, here’s the thing: I really like to eat. I mean, I fucking LOVE food. My husband is one of those guys who’d be happy enough eating hamburgers or pulled pork sandwiches seven days a week, but not me. I just love trying out new restaurants and new recipes. (The caveat is, it’d have to be one of the shows where they get to eat GOOD food, NOT one like Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmerman.)

What’s Your Dream Job?

Your turn! Tell me in the comments what your dream job would be.

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30-Day Blogging Challenge, Day 5: Lyndsay Faye’s Timothy Wilde Trilogy

Favorite Foods?

Today’s topic was supposed to be “favorite foods and why”, but that just wasn’t going to fill a blog post. My favorite food is cheese. Why? Uh… because.

‘Nuff said.

So today, I’m going with a book recommendation.

Or, to be more exact, a trilogy recommendation.

The Timothy Wilde Trilogy, by Lyndsay Faye

The first book in the series, Gods of Gotham, was an impulse buy for me. I was wandering around Barnes & Noble one day, just killing time, when I spotted a cover that really caught my eye.

No, it wasn’t Gods of Gotham. It was Seven for a Secret (the second book of the trilogy). It featured a man wearing a copper star, his face partially obscured by a hat pulled low. It was reminiscent of Justified, and I was intrigued.

 

But of course I didn’t want to start with the second book in a series, so I bought book one.

And man, I am so glad I did.

The Trilogy

I followed up with Seven for a Secret, and then had to wait (not long though, thankfully) for book three (The Fatal Flame) to be released. I think Seven for a Secret is my favorite, but by a pretty narrow margin. They’re all great books.

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Why Should You Read Them?

Lyndsay Faye’s writing is superb. She manages to blend intriguing mysteries with well-researched history in a way that’s smooth and fascinating and magical. You’ll learn a lot, but you’ll never feel like you’re in a history lecture.

But the real strength of these books is the characters: Timothy, who’s terribly flawed, but cares about justice more than anything; his bisexual brother Valentine, who’s alternately infuriating and comical; and Jim, Valentine’s lover, who’s wiser than both brothers put together. Each book has its own story, but the beauty of the trilogy as a whole is watching these three men come together to finally become a family.

These are the kinds of books that leave me in awe. Faye’s prose — lyrical, yet still funny and light — makes me feel like an utter fraud as an author. She makes me want to break my pencils and throw them all away (but in the best possible way).

Other Books by Lyndsay Faye

Faye has two other books that I know of. (If there are others, tell me NOW so I can buy them.) Yes, the Timothy Wilde books are my favorites, but every one of her novels is worth reading. If you’re interested in either Sherlock Holmes or Jack the Ripper, check out Dust and Shadow. And if you’re a Jane Eyre fan (or even if you aren’t!), you should look into Faye’s darker twist on the tale, Jane Steele.

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Want to Read One?

Leave a comment below to be entered in the giveaway. The winner will receive their choice of ONE Lyndsay Faye title. (Ebook only, for international winners. Winners in the US can choose either an ebook or a paperback.)

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30-Day Blogging Challenge, Day 4: Top Five (Literary) Pet Peeves

Today’s topic is supposed to be my top five pet peeves, but that sounded sort of tedious. Since I am, after all, an author and a reader, I thought I’d talk instead about my top five pet peeves in books.

Disclaimer

Now, before I get started, let me begin by saying that these are only my opinions, and we all know what they say about those. Just because I don’t like these things doesn’t mean they’re wrong. It doesn’t mean people who disagree with me are wrong. I’m not saying authors should always avoid these techniques or tropes, or that every book in the history of man to ever use one of them is wrong or bad or poorly written. I’m not saying any of those things. All I’m saying is, these are things I personally don’t care for when I’m reading.

If you happen to LOVE all of these things, that’s okay. If you write these things, that’s okay too. Again: it’s just an opinion.

Clear enough?

Good. Let’s carry on.

Pet Peeve #1: Flashbacks

Cue the little wavering lines on the screen as we go back, back to those glorious days of yesteryear…

 

Nothing will make me toss a book out the window faster than a flashback.

Now, I should clarify: in my opinion, if a character recounts an episode from his or her past in dialog, or even sort of goes over it in their head in the course of the narrative (like when Simon tells Frances about his past in Saviours of Oestend), I don’t consider that a flashback. When I say “flashback,” I’m talking about the full-blown “I now take you to a scene eighteen years earlier…”, usually in italics to distinguish it from the actual story taking place.

Which is exactly why I hate it. Don’t stop the story I’m reading to go back and tell me some other story. If it’s important to the current story, then show me right here, in the course of the current story.

I’ll usually skim my way through one flashback, but when the second one shows up, I’m done. Moving on to the next book in my TBR pile.

Pet Peeve #2: Superfluous Prologues

I follow up “flashbacks” with “superfluous prologues” because so often, that’s exactly what they are: superfluous flashbacks that happen to come first. They’re frequently something that happened several years earlier that’s supposedly relevant to the story (but often isn’t).

For the record, I’m not saying I hate all prologues. In some cases, the prologue is relevant. One case in point that instantly comes to mind is Heidi’s Cullinan’s Dance With Me (Dancing Book 1)[image error]. Her prologue is short and sweet and directly to the point. It’s not only relevant, it’s information that is emphatically critical to the character development of both protagonists. It is not superfluous.

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Now contrast that with the prologue in most thrillers (which I read a lot of). We’re immediately introduced to some character — most often, an attractive, every-day kind of woman, or an awful, terrible, hateful man. Then we see her (or him) suffer some horrible fate. Then, like a director yelling “CUT!”, we jump to chapter to one, which is from the hero’s point of view. That character we just spent those critical first few pages meeting is entirely irrelevant. The prologue in this case served only one purpose: gratuitous titillation.

It’s juvenile, and it drives me crazy.

Pet Peeve #3: Too Many POV Changes

Epic fantasy, which I read truckloads of back in the day, is famous for this shit. Lots of authors use it, but few can pull it off. Even GRRM, who did it more effectively than most, overused it, in my opinion.

A good rule of thumb: if that’s the only scene using that POV, it either needs to be cut, or rewritten.

Pet Peeve #4: Super Heroines

Back when I read epic fantasy exclusively, there were two types of heroines. The first  was the girl born to privilege, the daughter of a king or a baron or some random rich guy. Despite having been raised as a noblewoman, she defied tradition by training with the Captain of the Guard every day and could (of course) ride, fight, and shoot better than any of the soldiers. She spends the entire novel telling herself she can’t possibly fall in love with the hero.

The second type of heroine was the poor farm girl (who seemed to spend a lot of time herding either geese or pigs). She’s strikingly beautiful, but doesn’t know it. She knows nothing about fighting, but once the grand journey begins, she manages to learn everything she needs to know en route. Sure, it takes others years to master sword fighting, but don’t worry. It’ll only take her a couple of weeks.

Oh. And she also spends the entire novel telling herself she can’t possibly fall in love with the hero.

Because of these two lackluster archetypes, I began searching the fantasy shelves for books that never mentioned a woman in the blurb. I stumbled upon Lynn Flewelling’s Nightrunner series, and of course the next thing I knew, I’d tumbled down the slippery slope into gay romance.

The rest, I suppose, is history.

I know some people will say I’m being anti-feminist by not digging the Super Heroines. What the fuck ever. Honestly, I just want a female character I can actually relate to.

Pet Peeve #5: Courtroom Drama

This one is pretty self-explanatory, and while I’m sure there are people who do it well (Phillip Margolin comes to mind), it just doesn’t grease my literary gears, so to speak. It’s like the second half of an old Law & Order episode — not nearly as interesting to me as the first half was.

Conclusion

So, there they are — my top five literary pet peeves. Let me know what yours are in the comments.

Also, I’m overdue for a giveaway!! So, leave a comment and I’ll enter you in the drawing. The winner will receive an ebook of Dance With Me, by Heidi Cullinan, as well as one ebook (winner’s choice) from my backlist. 

And just FYI, I have another giveaway scheduled for tomorrow, so please stop by!

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The post 30-Day Blogging Challenge, Day 4: Top Five (Literary) Pet Peeves appeared first on Marie Sexton.

30-Day Blogging Challenge, Day 3: My Current Relationship

One of the only pictures in this post taken in the digital era!!
A Dog-Gone Good Relationship

Today’s topic is supposed to be my current relationship. Honestly, that’s kind of boring. I’ve been happily married for twenty years now. In fact, we just celebrated our 20th anniversary in May by taking a road trip from Seattle to San Francisco.

After 20+ years (we dated for almost four years before tying the knot), we’re still great friends. If I had to choose one person to spend the rest of my life with on a deserted island, I’d still choose him. (Mostly because he drives me crazy less than most people.)

But rather than writing a whole post about hubby, I thought I’d talk about another relationship I have. One that, unfortunately, is drawing to a close, and so is constantly on my mind.

Jango

(Featuring pictures scanned in from an ancient scrapbook.)

I got Jango when he was just a puppy. It was one of those “friend of a friend” things. Somebody’s dog had given birth to a huge litter of puppies of questionable parentage which they were giving away for free. (The mother was also a mutt, so this was at least the second generation of mixed doggy heritage.)

Two of the puppies were red. Some obviously had been sired by a blue heeler. Most of the rest were black and white.

How To Choose?

My friend chose one of the two red puppies (who grew up to look very much like a fox). When I first walked into this yard full of rollicking puppy dogs, I pointed to the second red puppy and said, “I’m taking that one, but I want to play with the others for a while.”

Over the next half hour, that little red puppy ignored me completely. She wanted nothing to do with me. But one little black and white puppy decided he loved me on sight. He followed me all over the yard. He kept putting his little paw on my arm, as if to say, “choose me instead!” And so that’s what I did. Since all of our pets have Star Wars names, we named him Jango Fett.

One Bad Puppy

I have to say, that first year was rough. Jango destroyed multiple pairs of shoes. He liked to take phones and remotes and nibble the little rubbery buttons off, like eating corn off the cob. And it seemed to take him forever to get the hang of peeing outside. I remember crying one day to my husband that the dog would never be housebroken.

Of course, he proved me wrong. He eventually grew out of the chewing, and learned to only do his business outside. But one thing that has never changed — he follows me everywhere. Jango is a dedicated momma’s boy. He also has a very strong guarding instinct. He always positions himself between me and the door, and I’m quite sure he’d fight to the death to protect me, if he needed to. (I hope that never happens.)

What color is that dog, anyway?

Also, Jango didn’t exactly stay black and white. In that first year, he went from black to silver, then eventually settled in on a color I can’t even describe. His coat is an odd mixture of black, brown, and gray. He has a white chest, and the tips of his hind toes are white. The oddest part (and I don’t think you can see it on any of these photos): he has a thick, black stripe going straight down his spine. In the winter, he’ll get a fluffy undercoat under the multi-hued portion of his coat, but not on his spine. That black stripe stays sleek and shiny.

The Miracle Dog

Over the years, Jango’s had his share of trouble. Some of you may remember a few years ago, when a massive (9 pound!) tumor on his spleen ruptured. My veterinarian dubbed him “the miracle dog” after that episode. A couple of years ago, he tore his knee. Not long after that, he ate an entire bag of twelve lunchbox-portion yogurt-covered raisins. He’d somehow managed to carefully open each little box without tearing it to get the goodies inside, but raisins can be poisonous to dogs, so that little snack landed him in the hospital for three days.

(Thank goodness we have the CSU Veterinary Hospital here in town. CSU is one of the top veterinary schools in the country, and their hospital is first-rate.)

Last but not least, he was hit earlier this year with Idiopathic “Old Dog” Vestibular Disorder. It was scary as hell. I thought we’d come to the end, but he’s strong as an ox, and he pulled through.

The thing is, he’s now over fourteen years old. For a dog his age, that’s damned near ancient. And now, things aren’t looking good.

The Trouble with Dogs

One of the problems with pets is you can’t reason with them. If he were a person, I could say, “I know standing up is hard on your knees, so go ahead and stay sitting.” But Jango is ever alert to my activities. When I stand up, he stands too. If I leave the room, he follows. I try to tell him he doesn’t need to go with me while I’m vacuuming or putting away laundry, but he doesn’t listen. If I’m headed up or down the stairs, I can tell him to stay, and he will. But he still stands there, waiting, and if I’m not back in about two minutes flat, he comes looking.

Having a dog like this, I’ve come to appreciate the phrase “dogging my heels.” 

And all I can think about is how much it must hurt him now, with his arthritis and his bad hips and his torn knee.

Solutions?

I’ve tried putting up baby gates at the top or bottom of the stairs. That stops him from going up or down, but he stands there at the gate, getting more and more agitated, the longer I’m gone. He starts pacing back and forth, and sometimes gets so desperate, he tries jumping the gate (which is terrible for his knees). It almost seems better to just let him follow, even though I know it hurts him.

And now he’s started having seizures.

Going from Bad to Worse

The first seizure happened about ten days ago, in the middle of the night. He had a second one (much milder than the first, thank goodness) yesterday. And so today, I’m faced with the first of what may prove to be many hard decisions.

(Of course, I’m writing this post on September 7th, even though it isn’t scheduled to go live until the 14th or 15th. I imagine many revisions down the road.)

On one hand, I know he needs to see the vet about these seizures. On the other hand, he’s fourteen and a half years old. I know what will happen. They’ll do a bunch of tests. They’ll charge me hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars. And in the end, it’ll come down to “he’s old and he’s dying.”

That’s the worst part.

It doesn’t matter how good the medical care is. It doesn’t matter how much money I shell out. He’s old, and no matter how much I may wish for it, he simply can’t live forever.

Update

The veterinarian thinks these “seizures” aren’t in fact seizures at all, but relapses of the vestibular problem. That’s good news. She gave us some meds to try. Now we just watch and wait and hope he doesn’t have another episode.

If he does, well, time to start doing some serious testing.

In some ways, it feels like he’s been granted a reprieve, but unfortunately, I still know how this story will eventually end. Right now, I’m just hoping that whatever happens, it doesn’t involve suffering for him, or for me. I’m scared to death of facing days or weeks or months of wondering if and when to have him put to sleep. I know he has to go eventually. My only wish is that he goes naturally and peacefully. That’s the best I can hope for.

For now, I’ll just keep trying to enjoy every day with him by my side.

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30-Day Blogging Challenge, Day 2: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Marie

Day 2

Hmm. The good, the bad, and the ugly, huh? This could get interesting.

Of course, the first thing that comes to my mind is the scene in A to Z where Angelo talks about Blondie being throw-downable. That was one of the first scenes I wrote for that book, and I still enjoy it.

But obviously, I’m not Blondie. I’m not Angelo, either. (Not entirely, at least.) So, what can I tell you about me?

The Good

I love animals. I’m a total sucker for any critter. I don’t even step on spiders. (Earwigs, however, are a different story.)

I like to think I’m open-minded. I’m always the peacemaker, which a friend recently told me is common for adult children of alcoholics. The truth is, it isn’t really much of a strength. It’s all because I’m terrified of conflict. So maybe that should go in “the bad.”

I like cheese and wine. I like cheese with wine. I like cheese (and/or wine) with anything.

You know, I just like to eat. Let’s leave it at that.

I love fall. I love football and thick socks and warm soup and pumpkins on sale at the grocery store.

But I guess this is supposed to be what’s good about me, not what I like,

I brush every day and floss several times a week. How about that?

The Bad
My TBR shelves. They’re only stacked three rows deep.

I’m lazy. I procrastinate. I don’t exercise regularly. I buy way more books than I read. I watch too much TV. My house is a complete mess, and I don’t really feel inclined to fix it. I’m not the world’s greatest mom (although I’m not the worst, either, so I’ve got that going for me).

Man. It’s way easier to come with bad things than good.

I get hangry. I’m prone to sulking. My relationship with my mother is severely strained. I don’t really look forward to visiting my last remaining grandmother, even though I know I’ll miss her terribly after she’s gone.

The Ugly

Wait. How come there are two sections for negatives, but only one for positives? That doesn’t seem fair.

Well, I guess those are the rules.

Okay. This might be a bad idea, but to hell with it. I’m going to get real.

I’m a gossip.

I’m not proud of that, but I’ve begun to realize it’s true. Partly it’s that I’ve always sort of subscribed to the mindset voiced by Clairee in Steel Magnolias.

But partly, I think it’s because I’ve never fully understood the line between what’s gossip and what’s simply the truth. As a teenager, I was the victim of rampant gossip, but it was all bullshit. They said I was a slut, and a whore, and that I gave blowjobs in the boy’s bathroom in exchange for lunch money.

The Truth

The truth was, I was a virgin until I was only two months shy of turning eighteen.

So I’ve always understood “gossip” to mean “lies.” And I do NOT spread lies.

But to this day, I often feel like I don’t know where the line is between repeating something I know to be true and “gossiping”. If it isn’t mean-spirited or malicious, and I wasn’t sworn to secrecy, and I know it’s true, then… well, I’m just sharing what I know. I didn’t think that was considered gossip.

But I guess sometimes it is.

Believe it or not, this is actually sort of a new realization for me, so I’m not sure what I’m going to do about it. Sure, I could say that of course I’m going to resolve to do better, but right now, those would be empty words. The truth is, I’m going to have to spend some time analyzing the company I keep and trying to figure out exactly where that line is between “conversing” and “gossiping”.

The End

So, how about you? Care to share your good, bad, and ugly?

I think tomorrow’s post will include a giveaway, so be sure to stop by.