Julia Serano's Blog, page 6

May 2018 update: upcoming events, recent & future writings, & new videos!

my recent Patreon post about anti-trans mythsYesterday, I sent out my latest email update . Here is a brief summary of what you will find in it:

my recent Patreon post: Suggest anti-trans myths & propaganda you’d like me to debunk! other recent pieces about "autogynephilia" and "identity politics"a call for beta readerstwo new music videos!
plus the following upcoming events:

May 16, 2018 -- I will be giving a keynote entitled “Queer Communities and Future Possibilities” at University of Washington, Tacoma Pride, at 1pm at William Phillip Hall. More details can be found here.

May 24, 2018 -- I will be interviewed live at the California Institute of Integral Studies event: “A Conversation with Julia Serano and Zara Zimbardo: On Trans Feminism.” The event will be at CIIS, 1453 Mission Street, San Francisco, CA, at 7pm. Tickets are $15 in advance, $20 at the door; more event details can be found here and here.

May 28, 2018 -- I will be reading some of my new fiction at Yarn: Comedy Storytelling . Other featured performers include Heather Gold, Gina Gold, and Aundré the Wonderwoman. The show is at Shotgun Players (1901 Ashby Ave, Berkeley, CA), doors at 7pm, show at 7:30pm. Ticket info (including reduced-price advanced tickets!) can be found here.

June 9, 2018 -- my solo music project *soft vowel sounds* will be playing a benefit for LYRIC Center for LGBTQQ Youth. The event will be held at Laughing Monk Brewing (1439 Egbert Ave, Unit A, San Francisco, CA) who will be donating a portion of the evening's sales to the cause. The other acts include Polythene Pam and Mya Byrne. More details here.

You can read the full update here . If you want to receive my email updates directly to your inbox, you can sign up here .

Buddy: the specialist bird

Buddy & me, August 2017 I usually don’t post personal stuff here, but my dear friend Buddy recently passed away on March 6, 2018. If you’ve enjoyed anything I've written over the past thirteen-plus years, Buddy was most likely perched on my shoulder for some or all of the time that I wrote it. This post commemorates her life and our time together...

The last time I wrote a post like this was way back in August 2005, when my Jenday conure Coby unexpectedly passed away—you can read all about her story via that link. I had never been so close to an animal companion before. Her passing devastated me.

My partner at the time suggested that we honor Coby (who was a rescue bird with a difficult past) by adopting another bird with a similar backstory. Along those lines, she mentioned a parrot that was up for adoption at the bird store she was working at. That bird’s name was Buddy.

Buddy perched on a laptop
circa 2007From what we were told, Buddy was found along the side of a road by some family. She’s a Nanday conure, which are related to Jendays and not indigenous to North America. The family must have realized this, because they rescued her. Buddy’s backstory prior to that remains a complete mystery—all we know is that she was already about 10–15 years old (based on our vet’s estimate) when she came into our lives, and that she was a feather-picker (although for some reason, she never picked her upper torso, leaving her with a distinctive “crop top” of feathers). Presumably, she either escaped or was released by her previous people. Given Buddy’s nature (she loved company and was not especially adventurous), the latter seems far more likely. Sadly, it’s not all that uncommon for people to release parrots into the wild if they get tired of them—this is generally a death sentence for the bird, as parrots are flock animals and easy prey if left by themselves in the wild.

But thankfully, this family took Buddy in. Apparently, one of the kids named her Buddy, and they took care of her for a few months before dropping her off at the bird store for someone else to hopefully adopt.

one of the first ever pictures
of Buddy and me togetherOn August 28, 2005, we went to the store so that I could meet Buddy. I’ll never forget that day. She stepped right up onto my finger. I put her on my shoulder, and walked around the store, all the while sobbing. I kept telling myself that Coby could never be replaced (which was true). But Buddy was so sweet, and adopting another bird with a history similar to Coby’s made a lot of sense. So we ended up taking her home with us.

Buddy spent her first few days with us in the back of our apartment before introducing her to our other birds (who lived out front). I was in the early stages of writing Whipping Girl at the time, so I would get up super-early each day to write before going into my day job. I remember opening up Buddy’s cage and inviting her to join me. Many parrots are (understandably) hesitant or scared upon suddenly being moved to a new home. But Buddy was so easy-going and friendly right from the start. And that’s when our long friendship together began, during those early morning writing sessions.

Buddy fiddling with my (then)
new glasses, 2008Buddy was the absolute sweetest entity that I have ever known in all my years. I’ve had lots of amazing animal companions and people in my life, so I do not make such a claim lightly. All she wanted was to be on my (or someone else’s) shoulder, preen their skin (especially my freckles), and perhaps pick at their teeth (my current partner jokingly referred to her as “dentist bird”). While she was content hanging out on my shoulder during the day as I worked on the computer, she would become excited in the evening when I made my way to the couch to relax, because she knew extra attention, scritches, and petting were in store. If we had guests over, Buddy would usually be the first of my birds to try to make friends with them. As her visits to our vet became more frequent in her later years, everyone who worked there came to love her because of how outgoing and friendly she was. It was simply a treat to be in her presence.

My time with Coby was relatively brief: only a little bit over a year, although it seemed like much longer. But Buddy was a fixture in my life for over thirteen-and-a-half years, until she passed last month. I couldn’t possibly sum up her entire life here. But what follows is a collection of random memories and pertinent moments that are important to me, and that I wish to chronicle here.

Muttonchop (left) & Buddy, early 2006Buddy tended to favor human companions to bird companions. But the one exception was our cockatiel Muttonchop. The two of them used to hang out all the time in Buddy’s cage—we called it the “dorm room” because of the way they would casually “chill out” together there. (Sadly, Muttonchop passed away on my birthday in 2006). In the photo, Buddy is grasping her “Buddy ball”—she particularly liked the white one, and she would often whisper while holding it, as if she was telling it secrets.

Nanday’s have very croaky voices, so Buddy didn’t really speak human words all that much, other than the occasional “step up,” “thank you,” and mimicking human laughter (especially while we were watching the old Jon Stewart Daily Show episodes, where she would often laugh right on cue, as if she got the joke).

Macbeth (left), me & Buddy, 2009Despite her lack of vocal acumen, Buddy was super-smart. Her sister Macbeth (another rescue bird) often yells for no apparent reason, and when she does, I often make the “Ssssshhhh” sound, which Buddy began imitating (although when she did it, it sounded more like radio static). Sometimes I’d put all the birds in their cages and retreat to the bedroom; they’d eventually forget I was even in the apartment. And I would overhear Macbeth begin her usual yelling routine, and sometimes Buddy would intervene (without any prompting from me) by making her radio-static “Ssssshhhh” sound, as if to tell Macbeth to shut up. It was hilarious! Until one day—a rare occasion when Buddy was upset and started to make the standard conure “CAW CAW CAW!” alarm-sound—I told Buddy to be quiet, and she responded with her radio-static “Ssssshhhh,” as if to tell me to shut up!

Like I said, Buddy very rarely yelled because she was upset. If she was annoyed by what I was doing, she’d sometimes make a particular croak-like sound to let me know (and if I persisted, she’d lightly bite my ear). But usually when she screamed, it was because she was happy. Sometimes, when she was especially ecstatic, she would make a distinctive “Whoop!” “Whoop!” sound, often punctuating it with a jubilant “Rip-Wee-Guk!” at the end. Often, she did an indescribable neck dance while making her "Whoop!" sounds, as shown in the video below.


Over time, her sisters Tengu and Tallulah (who, as caiques, are amazing vocal imitators) picked up on Buddy’s “Whoop! Whoop! Rip-Wee-Guk!” and began using it to express joy and excitement themselves.

Buddy & Tengu (on head) shortly
after my skin cancer surgeryI mentioned earlier that Buddy would often preen the freckles on my shoulders and face. Well, during the summer of 2006, she became obsessed with what I thought was just a pimple on my cheek. I assumed it would go away, but Buddy kept dwelling on it. It turns out that it was skin cancer that she had brought to my attention (a story I’ve told elsewhere). I would sometimes tell Buddy that she saved my life, although it wasn’t literally true (as the tumor wasn’t malignant). But she probably saved me from losing even more of my face than I did.

In July 2012, Buddy’s left foot—which for her (as with most parrots) was her dominant foot that she used for eating—suddenly stopped working. I remember coming home from work one day and finding her stumbling on the bottom of her cage, apparently unable to climb her way back up. Yet she made all her usual happy sounds to greet me. While I was panicking that evening, she spent the night figuring out alternative ways to get around and eat her pellets. When I took her to the vet, they couldn’t explain it at first—they thought maybe she had had a stroke. But over the years, as her use of that leg slowly deteriorated further, one of the doctors brought up the possibility that it could be due to a kidney problem, as parrots’ sciatic nerves (which control the leg) actually run through the kidney. They did x-rays and ultrasounds, but could not find any evidence of kidney damage. (Although, as will soon become clear, this was most likely the cause.)

Buddy & me working from home
in 2016Later in 2012, upon being laid off from my day job, I became a writer and speaker full-time. This meant working from home (with occasional out of town speaking/performing trips), so Buddy and I got to spend even more time together—up to sixteen hours or more on some days. While she always enjoyed perching on me, she became a bit more reliant on me due to her inability to get around as well as she used to, plus also because her sisters (i.e., my other birds) started to pick on her more because they sensed her vulnerability (not just because of her leg; she was also getting up there in years). Since Buddy and I were practically connected at the shoulder, she would give me all these little signals to let me know when she wanted to step down for some food and water, when she needed to poop, when she wanted scritches, and so on. And she could tell when I was happy, or frustrated, or sad, and so on, and she’d often offer me extra attention or affection accordingly. We became even more intimately connected to one another from then on forward.

the day of Buddy's surgery -
a double rainbow at UC RiversideIn early 2016, Buddy developed another health problem, this time with her cloaca. The doctor thought it might be due to cancer and wanted to do a biopsy, which would involve putting her under. Birds are very sensitive to anesthesia, and sometimes never wake up from surgery, so I was scared. I was about to go on tour with Sister Spit, so we scheduled the procedure to take place while I was away, and while Buddy was being boarded at the vet. The day of her surgery, we (Sister Spit) were at UC Riverside, and it was pouring rain outside as I awaited their call. Upon receiving it, I was relieved to hear that Buddy survived the procedure and was doing well—immediately after that call, I went outside and saw this double rainbow, which took to be a positive omen. It turned out that it wasn’t cancer after all, and over the next few months we figured out how to resolve her cloaca problem.

these are not the medications
you are looking for...From then on, Buddy was on a number of medications, which she hated, especially because I would have to towel her first. But she eventually got used to it—it became a part of our daily routine, plus she was always happy to get a walnut (her favorite food) when the ordeal was over. Given her medications and increasing health conditions, whenever I would go out of town for more than a day, I would drop her off at the vet for boarding plus observation. I don’t own a car, so during this hectic time period, several friends lent me theirs—Buddy and I could not thank them enough for their generosity!

I had two out of town trips during the summer of 2017. During the first one in June, the vet discovered that Buddy had a heart murmur. It was a new development, so they wanted to do x-rays and possibly other tests on her the following month while she would be boarding there during my second trip. It was then (on August 5th, specifically) that I got the news that they found a large mass in her abdomen that was not there during her previous x-rays in 2015. Given its location, and the fact that her uric acid levels were higher than normal, they feared it was her kidney.

at the vet, anxiously awaiting
Buddy's test results...They wanted to do exploratory surgery to see what was actually going on inside her; we scheduled that for August 14th. The photo to the right is of me and Buddy at the vet the Friday beforehand (the 11th), as we waited for the results of her uric acid levels. If they were too high, she’d have to spend the weekend there, receiving fluids pre-surgery. Thankfully, her levels were low enough that she was able to spend the weekend at home. That week, I gave her all her favorite foods, we did all her favorite things, and I took lots of pictures and videos of us while we hung out (including the photo below of Buddy eating corn on the cob, and the numerous videos at the end of this post). I was worried that it might be our last few days together.

The following Monday, I was (once again) grateful to learn Buddy survived the surgery. The vet informed me that the mass was indeed kidney tissue—it was not malignant, but it was inoperable, as removing it would kill her. But they did manage to drain lots of fluid from cysts on the kidney mass, which considerably reduced its size. But unfortunately, that was all they could do.

Buddy loved eating
corn off the cobThe game plan moving forward was to do regular checks on her uric acid levels, and keep an eye on the size of the mass via ultrasound. We did that over the subsequent months, and each time the results came back promising. We knew the mass would likely eventually take her life, but for the time being she was relatively healthy and happy. I tried my best not to take any moment we shared for granted during the interim.

In early March, I had my first out of town speaking event of 2018. It was near Columbus, Ohio, so I got the chance to stay with my previous partner (with whom I originally adopted Buddy) and her current family, including Tengu and Tallulah—the two caiques who still make Buddy’s “Whoop! Whoop! Rip-Wee-Guk!” happy noises from time to time.

Anyway, I dropped Buddy off at the vet on March 5th, much like I had done numerous times before over the previous two years. On the ride there, Buddy was nonchalant, preening herself in her carrier as I drove—going to the vet was old hat to her by this point. My vet planned to run the usual tests while she stayed with them. That night, I got a call from them: Buddy’s uric acid levels were higher than they should be. Not alarmingly high, but enough so that they planned to give her fluids the following day. I was concerned, of course, but they said she was otherwise fine, so I tried to put it out of my mind.

Tengu & Tallulah, with whom Buddy's
“Whoop! Whoop! Rip-Wee-Guk!”
happy noises live on...The next day, I flew out to Columbus. That evening, I was having dinner with my previous partner and her family, and just as I was asked how Buddy was doing, my phone rang. It was the vet. I answered, expecting the usual “Buddy is doing well, just wanted to give you an update” call. But it wasn’t the usual update—they were calling to inform me that Buddy unexpectedly passed away. She was fine the previous morning when I dropped her off, and fine all day at the vet, when she suddenly collapsed. They tried to resuscitate her, but she didn’t respond.

It felt like all the blood immediately drained from my body upon hearing the news. I was in complete shock. I understood the information I had just taken in, but it all felt like a dream. The idea of being without Buddy was simply unfathomable, even though I had been preparing for this eventuality over the last few years. I shared the sad news. I couldn’t cry at first, but eventually the tears came. We spent the night telling Buddy stories, sometimes laughing, sometimes crying. Normally, when I go on out-of-town speaking trips, I spend the night alone in a hotel room—I couldn’t imagine receiving such devastating news under those circumstances. So it was reassuring and cathartic (and also a bit surreal) to spend that sad night with close friends who had lived with Buddy and knew her as well as anyone.

Buddy napping on my leg, March 2017I would later learn that the cause of death was apparently a heart embolism—so Buddy passed quickly and without much pain. The post-mortem also revealed that her kidney mass had grown significantly larger since her previous surgery six months earlier. Given the circumstances, it was probably for the best that she passed the way she did, without her having to endure too much pain, and without me having to make the gut-wrenching decision to finally put her down. Nevertheless, it still hurts that I never got to say a final good-bye to her.

But we loved one another. And I gave her the best life that I possibly could. I’m pretty sure she already understood that.

When I got back from my Ohio trip, I wanted to sit down and write this retrospective then, much like I wrote my tribute to Coby just after her passing. But I couldn’t. The grief was just way too intense. I spent much of the last month just trying to get through each day, plus taking care of previous commitments and other out-of-town speaking engagements. My entire life had been structured around Buddy, and only now am I starting to get used to living without her.

I didn't know it at the time, but
this would be the last picture I ever
took of Buddy, February 2018I am doing a bit better this month, but it still hurts to think about Buddy: to think about all of the small things that I miss about her, and will never experience again.

I used to sing a song to Buddy in the shower and when we would cuddle. It was a cute little improvised song she seemed to enjoy. The lyrics have taken on new meanings to me since her passing:

I’m in love with Buddy bird
She’s an angel haven’t you heard
And I love Buddy all the way
Because she’s so fey
And she makes me gay


Here's me singing that song to Buddy in August 2017 - one of the numerous videos I took of her just before her surgery:


Here's another song I used to sing to her: "I love the Buddy, the special little Buddy, a b-b-b-b-b-b-Buddy...". I choke up at the end this time...


Like I said, I recorded a whole bunch of videos of Buddy, often doing mundane things, right before her August surgery. Here she is taking a bath:


Buddy always hated when I did this...


But she loved chasing the cursor on my computer!


every morning, Buddy (& the other birds) would get a few sunflower seeds as a morning treat...



while I was working, Buddy would take little snack breaks. She enjoyed dipping her bird pellets in the water (to soften them up) before eating them...


And Buddy loved dinner time, especially when it was pasta!


after a good meal, Buddy liked to fly over to the couch (where the people were). Here she is, on top of the couch, preening her feathers...


Finally, here's Buddy on my lap, with some singing, scritches, and petting. I love my Buddy and miss her oh so...


That's it for now. I may add a few more videos of Buddy in the coming days...

new music videos & a live show this Sunday!

Many of you who follow me here do so because of my writings, but I occasionally write and perform music as well. For many years, I was in a noise-pop band called Bitesize , and my current lo-fi solo indie-pop music project is *soft vowel sounds* - you can listen to and learn more about both projects via those links.

I have a bunch of new news music-wise to share!

First, I will be doing a *soft vowel sounds* live show this Sunday, April 8th in the East Bay at the Ivy Room (860 San Pablo Ave, Albany, CA). The other bands will be Polythene Pam and The Sweet Trade. I will be opening up the show, so get there early if you don't want to miss my set! Doors at 6pm, show starts promptly at 7pm, $6-$10 sliding scale NOTAFLOF, must be 21+, more details here and here.

Second, over the weekend I released two new music videos for songs I plan to do at Sunday's show. Here they are:

Open Letter is a "coming out" song that I wrote way back when I was transitioning (circa 2001-02). My previous band Bitesize used to perform the song, although we never formally recorded it. In 2014, I recorded this version for the *soft vowel sounds* EP Ray versus Macbeth and the Music Box, part one (which you can download for free via the link; just enter "0"). You can find the lyrics for the song on Bandcamp.


I Killed Sting is a parody/tribute song for all the people who loved The Police, but have mixed feelings about Sting. It was a Bitsesize favorite, and I still often perform the song at *soft vowel sounds* shows.

Like I said, I'll be performing both these songs at Sunday's Ivy Room show, along with another song I have a music video for: Ray. It's my parody of the famous trans-themed song "Lola" by The Kinks. Here's that video if you're interested:

Anyway, I hope you can make it out to the show! And if you enjoy these songs and videos, please "like" them on YouTube & perhaps even "subscribe" to my YouTube feed !

And if you wanna sign up for my email lists, you can do so via these links:
*soft vowel sounds* (music only)
Julia update (mostly writings, some music)

[note: If you appreciate my writings & music, and the fact that I make many of them available for free, please consider supporting me on Patreon]

Autogynephilia: a theory that ignores lived experiences and basic mathematics

I have probably written more about Ray Blanchard’s autogynephilia (AG) theory than all but a small handful of people. I have done so for multiple reasons: 1) as a scientist, I am appalled by the theory’s lack of scientific rigor, 2) it denies many trans people’s lived experiences, 3) it makes far too many unnecessary (and incorrect) assumptions (i.e., it ignores Occam’s razor), 4) it is not scientifically falsifiable, as exceptions to the theory are routinely dismissed as being due to  “lying” or “misreporting” by trans subjects, 5) it needlessly sexualizes and stigmatizes people on the trans female/feminine spectrum, and 6) it does not even attempt to account for people on the trans male/masculine spectrum.

In this brief post, I will highlight four of my most thorough analyses of autogynephilia theory. Other writings related to this topic may be found on my Trans Psychology webpage.

The Case Against Autogynephilia [PDF link]
This is a peer-reviewed article that appeared in the International Journal of Transgenderism in 2010. It summarizes Blanchard's theory and the overwhelming evidence against it. I also propose simpler non-pathological alternative explanations that would explain Blanchard’s original findings better than his own theory.

The real “autogynephilia deniers”
A blogpost I wrote in 2015 in response to James Cantor (one of the few proponents of AG theory who is still actively practicing sexology) wherein I list all of the more recent evidence further demonstrating that AG theory is incorrect. I also highlight numerous instances where anti-transgender individuals and organizations have cited AG theory in their attempts to invalidate, stigmatize, and slut-shame trans women.

Reconceptualizing “Autogynephilia” as Female/Feminine Embodiment Fantasies (FEFs)
A blogpost I wrote in 2015, and which was later updated for my latest book Outspoken. (The latter version can also be freely downloaded from Academia.edu.) This extends upon what I wrote in my 2007 book Whipping Girl, offering non-pathologizing explanations for why “autogyephilic fantasies” (what I call FEFs) exist, and why they are more prevalent in some trans subpopulations than others.

Psychology, Sexualization and Trans-Invalidations [PDF link]
A speech that I gave in 2009; an updated version of the essay now appears in both my latest book Outspoken and on Academia.edu.  An accessible analysis of why there is so much focus on trans female/feminine people’s (real or presumed) sexualities in the lay public, media, and in the fields of psychology/sexology, while their trans male/masculine counterparts remain under-theorized in these regards. I discuss Blanchard’s AG theory in the context of these more foundational stereotypes and biases.

Like I said, many other writings related to, or addressing, AG theory can be found on my Trans Psychology webpage and in my books Whipping Girl and Outspoken...

[note: If you appreciate my writings and want to see more, please consider supporting me on Patreon]

upcoming college speaking events and other performances!

So a few bits of new news! 

First, if you haven't seen it, earlier this week I published a new essay: Thoughts about transphobia, TERFs, and TUMFs . It addresses the different underlying motives/sentiments/beliefs that often drive transphobia, and how we might take these into account as trans activists. It's on Medium - the more "applause" it gets (the clapping hands icon at bottom of the article), the more likely it will appear on other people's Medium feeds. If you really like it, you can give it many claps! So clap away!!!

Second, I just updated my  events webpage to include some upcoming college speaking appearances. More may arise, but the ones currently listed are in Ohio, Maine, and Philly, so check it out if you live in those necks of the woods! And as always, if you are interested and able to bring me out to your college campus, please check out my booking page .

One of the other shows listed on my events page is happening this Monday (Feb. 5th): Yarn comedy storytelling ! I will be reading a few humorous excerpts from my forthcoming novel. Other featured performers include Heather Gold, Aundré the Wonderwoman, and Bridget Schwartz. The show is at Homestead (4029 Piedmont Ave, Oakland, CA), doors at 7pm, show at 7:30pm. Reduced-price advanced tickets are only $12 and can be purchased here . 

Finally, I didn't put this on my events page yet because it's not 100% confirmed, but it's looking like I will be part of a "Quirky Queer Tuesday" music show at the El Rio in San Francisco sometime in March - those details will be listed as soon as I have them, so stay tuned! In the meantime, if you're not familiar with my music, you should check out my current solo music project *soft vowel sounds* and my old (now sadly disbanded) noise-pop band Bitesize .

Hope to see you at some of these shows! Otherwise, you can follow me here or on other social media platforms, and as always, please consider supporting my work on Patreon !

ways to support my work (on Patreon or otherwise)

I have been (and continue to be) on Patreon , where people who appreciate my writings can pledge support for me at levels starting at $1 a month, with the possibility of rewards such as free e-books, signed copies of my books, or even me writing blogposts on a topic of their choice at higher levels. All patrons (regardless of pledge level) can access "for your eyes only" posts, where I share behind-the-scenes updates, unpublished writings & recordings, and other goodies.

Patreon has made a HUGE impact on my life. As a self-employed writer and speaker/performer with no other outside income, I've had to spend much of my time scrounging up freelance work, speaking gigs, and other odd jobs in order to make ends meet. But thanks to the generous support of my patrons, I've since been able to commit way more time to 1) concentrating on writing future books, and 2) publishing free, accessible, ad-free essays (on either Medium or my blog) on topics that I am most interested in writing about (particularly LGBTQIA+, feminist, and social justice issues). Most of these essays would never have been published by mainstream news/media outlets as is (as most editors favor short pieces that remain on an "activism 101" level).

So Patreon has been a real blessing for me, and I highly encourage you to support me there !

But... some people would rather not join Patreon. And others have decided to leave that platform due to a recent change in their processing fees (one that disproportionately impacts people who have less money to give and/or who support multiple creators). So for those who wish to support me, but do not want to be on Patreon, I have created the following alternative:
Just go to paypal.me/julieserano - there you can enter any amount as a gift to me. For those who enter $12 or more (aka, the equivalent of the theoretical $1 pledge per month for one year), as a thank you, I will add you to a private email list (probably through MailChimp). Then, at the beginning of each month, I will send out an email that includes links to PDF copies of all my Patreon posts for the previous month, plus any unpublished writings/recordings/etc. that were included with them. So if you're an ex-Patreon supporter, you'll still get all the behind-the-scenes updates.

Admittedly, it is not a perfect work around. Unlike on Patreon, you won't be able to scroll through older posts. And since it will be too difficult to keep track of who gifted me what, I won't be able to easily give out rewards to people at higher levels (although maybe I'll do one-time offers, where for a certain amount I'll give out a free e-book or signed book?). It requires that you have a PayPal account, and there is no easy way to make the payments recurring, but I will include the same paypal.me/julieserano link at the bottom of each email - so if you're someone who pledged $5 a month on Patreon, you could simply gift me $5 every time you receive a monthly email from me, or any time that it's convenient for you. (Or you could just do a once-a-year donation if you prefer). The lack of automation will be a big downside for both of us (more work for you if you want to space out payments, less stability on my end not knowing how much I will receive each month). But for the time being, it will have to do.  

People suggested alternative platforms (e.g., Kickstarter Drip), but after looking into them, I decided against using them for the following reasons:

1) Even if these alternative platforms seem better right now, they could always change the way they operate in the future (as Patreon recently did).
2) It would be a lot of work on my end to maintain two different platforms (e.g., formatting the same posts for two separate sites, keeping track of two different lists of patrons, etc.). In contrast, for the PayPal/email list combo, I can simply save PDFs of my Patreon posts, upload them, then email you the links to download them.
3) Some people expressed frustration with the fact that Patreon was taking any cut of their pledge. (It used to be they took 5%, I got 88-ish%, and the rest went to processing fees; now I will get 95% of each pledge, with the processing fees being placed on patrons instead.) But the thing is, any platform is going to have to take *some* money to pay for running their operation. At least with my PayPal/email list alternative, as imperfect as it may be, you will know that 100% of the money you gift me is going directly to me.

So if this appeals you, here's the link once again: paypal.me/julieserano - on the first window that pops up, enter the amount you wish to gift me. The second window will ask for method of payment - if you pay through PayPal, there's no transaction fee; for credit cards, there's a tiny fee (33¢ when I tested it). The third window has a box to "Add a note" - please write the word "support" along with the email address where you'd like to receive monthly thank-you emails from me. Or if you don't want to receive emails, simply write "no emails" and I won't add you to the list. (If you leave this field blank, I will send emails to the address associated with your PayPal account.) I plan to start sending out emails in January.

Whatever you decide, thank you for supporting my work any way you can, monetarily or otherwise! And if you have any questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to contact me.

recently updated merchandise (books & music) webpage!

I wanted to get the word out about this sooner, but I recently updated my " stuff to buy " webpage for the impending holidays!

If you click that link, you will find:
links to order all three of my books (Whipping Girl, Excluded, and Outspoken) online, including the (fairly) recently released Whipping Girl audio book ! note: I also include links for independent bookstore options, if that's a cause you want to support!for my latest book Outspoken: A Decade of Transgender Activism and Trans Feminism (which was self-published on my own Switch Hitter Press), I include tips on where to best (i.e., least expensively) buy copies.as a special offer only on my website, you can buy signed copies out Outspoken , made out to you, or whomever you wish! (btw, I normally ship them by USPS Media Mail, which usually takes about a week to arrive, so you should act fast if your goal is to have it before December 25th).if you enjoy my music (my bands Bitesize and *soft vowel sounds*), you'll find links to order digital copies there, plus PayPal buttons to purchase compact discs (if you happen to be old school). Once again, here's the " buy stuff " link. Happy shopping!

my Jesse Singal story

Many people know of Jesse Singal as a senior/science editor at New York Magazine. Within transgender communities, Singal has garnered a reputation (particularly over the last two years) for repeatedly promoting ideas that are in opposition to, or which flat-out undermine, trans people’s perspectives on issues that impact our lives. He has done this in the form of seemingly serious-minded articles, but also in more flippant or provocative exchanges from his Twitter account (which he recently shut down).

As a trans author and activist who disagrees with many of Singal’s positions, I have gone on the record (in my own articles and Twitter threads) to challenge some of those ideas and his framing of them. But in this post, I want to talk about my personal experiences with Singal, because they are rather out of the ordinary. While I’ve long found these incidents to be frustrating and baffling, I never thought to compile them all in one place before. That changed last Friday, when Katelyn Burns (who is also a trans woman writer) shared her personal exchanges with Singal in this Twitter thread. [btw, if you cannot access that thread, it's because Burns was forced to lock her account for reasons explained here.] While she had far more interactions with him than I’ve had, some of what she recounts very much resonated with my own experiences. So I figured that I’d share my story here (I will explain more about my reasons for doing so at the end of this piece).


I'm working on a story about the closing of the Zucker clinic. If I emailed you some straightforward questions today, do you think there's a chance you'd have time to answer by the end of the weekend? And it looks like this is probably the best one­stop­shopping article of yours for me to read to understand your stance on Zucker, right? Any other reading you'd suggest?

The “this” link (which appeared in his actual email to me) points to an essay I wrote in 2009 entitled Psychology, Sexualization and Trans-Invalidations (it began as a keynote lecture for the 8th Annual Philadelphia Trans Health Conference). It is a lengthy piece that discusses common strategies that people use in order to invalidate trans people’s identities and perspectives. I do discuss Zucker in the piece, but the bulk of the essay analyzes the ways in which sexualization (i.e., reducing a person to their sexual bodies and behaviors, to the exclusion of other characteristics) is used as a tactic to invalidate and dehumanize transgender people, especially trans women. I draw parallels with how a woman will be taken less seriously, and may even be outright dehumanized, if people objectify or slut-shame her (there is plenty of research demonstrating this). There is a long history of both the media and psychologists/sexologists dwelling on trans women’s bodies and sexual proclivities, and I argued that this essentially has the same effect: It enables people to trivialize and dehumanize us. I’ve since come to refer to this phenomenon as the “slut-shaming” equivalent for trans women. (This will become relevant later in this story.)

Anyway, I gave Singal links to some of my other writings related to Zucker and gender reparative therapy. Then he replied with his own thoughts and questions for me—this is when I first got the impression that he was leaning toward writing a “pro-Zucker” piece. So I painstakingly answered all of his questions in a long email, in the hopes that it might shed some light onto issues Singal may have overlooked or was simply misinformed about. 

Singal’s article, How the Fight Over Transgender Kids Got a Leading Sex Researcher Fired, came out on February 7, 2016. It is a long-read that somehow fails to include any actual transgender voices, including any of my lengthy responses. (Parker Molloy was also interviewed for, but not included in, Singal’s piece, as she recounts here). [note added after publication: Brynn Tennehill was also interviewed for, but not included in, the piece.] Now, if you’ve never heard of Ken Zucker before—as is the case for a vast majority of the mainstream public—then I’ll bet that if you read Singal’s article, you’d come away with the impression that it was a thorough journalistic investigation that uncovered some kind of mass transgender conspiracy to undermine science and ruin one researcher’s career. But as someone whose been involved in trans communities and writing about these issues for almost twenty years, I can tell you that the article was heavily skewed and omitted critical information. For this reason, on February 9, 2016, I published Placing Ken Zucker's clinic in historical context, which was essentially my answers to the questions Singal posed to me via email (although I removed the actual questions he asked, as they hinted at his early pro-Zucker leanings, and I had no intentions of smearing him personally; at the time, I wanted to believe that he was simply misguided, rather than someone with a deliberate anti-trans axe to grind).

But Singal then went on to write many more “trans people are destroying/denying science”-type articles, even though our anti-gender-reparative-therapy and pro-affirming-trans-children stances are shared by WPATH (the world’s largest and longstanding transgender health professional organization) and most contemporary trans health providers. One of Singal’s subsequent articles, What’s Missing From the Conversation About Transgender Kids, was published on July 25, 2016. The focus of the piece was “desistance”—this refers to the possibility that young children who cross-gender-identify may eventually grow out of it over time. People who harbor anti-trans agendas love to cite the dubious statistic that 80% of transgender children ultimately desist, but the studies they point to display numerous faulty assumptions and methodologies (as detailed in depth in articles by Zack Ford and Brynn Tannehill). Anyway, this particular Singal article promoted this “80% desistance” statistic, and (unlike his Zucker piece) this time he did cite trans people who disagree with him, including myself. And here is the passage involving me from that piece:

And when I emailed Serano for the Zucker story, she made the same argument (as an aside, you should read her Daily Beast article about navigating the dating scene as a trans woman in San Francisco). I didn’t end up quoting from Serano’s response, but she posted it online afterward, and it reads, in part: “These children [at Zucker’s clinic] are not necessarily brought in for “gender dysphoria” but for gender non­conformity. I’ve already conceded (as most trans activists & advocates would), many of these gender non­conforming kids will not grow up to be cross­gender-identified.”

I have no qualms with him including my quote in his piece. But the “read her Daily Beast article about navigating the dating scene as a trans woman in San Francisco” line links to the article shown to the right—it’s an excerpt from my 2013 book Excluded (in the book, the chapter goes by the less bombastic title “Dating”). To be honest, I wasn’t a big fan of the title “The Struggle To Find Trans Love In San Francisco” or the photo, but as a general rule, writers don’t get any input into, or veto power over, the titles and images that accompany their articles; these are determined by editors or other employees at that media outlet. Anyway, I originally wrote this piece in 2009 and it discusses how—in my experiences, and at that time (things have changed a bit since then)—while significant numbers of straight cisgender men were open to dating trans women, the same was not generally true for cisgender lesbians, and I explored reasons for why that may be. 

Now, you may be thinking, “Oh, isn’t that nice of Singal to mention that he liked your dating piece, even though he disagrees with you on desistance.” But think for a moment about the context: He mentioned this in the middle of an article about transgender children and science. Don’t you think that’s a bit out of place? If he really appreciated my writings and wanted to share them with his readers, he could have instead cited my previously mentioned “Psychology, Sexualization and Trans-Invalidations” essay, which 1) I know he has read (as he specifically referenced it in his first email to me), and 2) would have been far more relevant to the topic at hand. In fact, I’ve written scores of articles/essays about transgender people and issues over the years, on all sorts of topics. Why pick this particular piece? If Singal first learned about me via googling terms like “transgender,” “children,” “Zucker,” “psychology,” “research,” etc. (which I’ve written extensively about), he would have found many of my other writings, but probably not the piece about dating. So did he specifically seek out pieces about my dating habits and sexuality? Or did he read a large swath of my writings and, upon doing so, decided to direct his readers to the piece that had the most sexually suggestive headline and photo? I can’t say for sure. But given the thesis of my “Psychology, Sexualization and Trans-Invalidations” essay (which I know for sure he has read) about how mentioning trans women’s sexualities results in people not taking what we have to say seriously, it seemed (far more likely than any other alternative) that he was purposefully trying to slut-shame me with that citation.

(If you think I’m jumping to conclusions here, hold tight, more evidence to this effect is on the way. But if you are a doubter, just ask yourself this: Imagine that you write about myriad serious topics. And you’ve also written one piece once in the past about your dating experiences. And someone who disagrees with you about one of those other serious matters you’ve written about at great length, in the middle of countering your arguments, tosses in: “as an aside, you should read [insert your name here]’s article about navigating the dating scene . . .” How would that make you feel? Would you assume it was a random flattering comment? Or that there was an ulterior motive behind it?)

While this slut-shaming incident really bothered me, I didn’t make a fuss about it at the time. I was more concerned (as both a trans activist and a scientist) with the misinformation that Singal and others were spreading about desistance and transgender children. So on Aug 2, 2016, I published Detransition, Desistance, and Disinformation: A Guide for Understanding Transgender Children Debates—it’s a long-read, because I wanted to address many of the complexities and nuances that often get tossed aside in mainstream takes on these matters. In my piece, I critique Singal’s articles (and similar pieces by other authors) for their faulty claims and framing, but I never went after him as a person. Notably, I did not suggest that readers read up on his dating habits! 

My essay was generally well-received; the media outlet Vox even interviewed me about it (see: The debate about transgender children and “detransitioning” is really about transphobia, which was published August 9, 2016; for the record, for reasons I’ve already explained, I was not consulted on that title). I received a few negative responses on social media, as happens whenever anyone publishes any article (especially if it’s about trans-related issues), but not any more than usual. That is, until sometime around August 12, 2016, when my Twitter notifications were suddenly flooded with social conservatives, TERFs, and (to a lesser degree) people who have detransitioned, all of whom were virtual-yelling at me for supposedly denying the existence of people who detransition. Even though I never said or insinuated either of those things in my Medium essay or Vox interview (this is plainly obvious if you read the actual pieces). Turns out that this backlash was largely attributable to an alarmist tweet (or tweets, I don’t remember if it was more than one, and I cannot access them now that he shut his Twitter account down) Singal posted wherein he falsely claimed that this was what I was saying. In other words, he flat-out spread lies about me. This is how I responded upon learning about this (click the tweet to read the entire thread):

1. As if it wasn't bad enough that Jesse Singal already tried to #slutshame me (including link to my story about dating his Desistance post)— Julia Serano (@JuliaSerano) August 12, 2016

This wasn’t some random person online who was propagating lies about me. This is a senior editor at a major media outlet, and someone who tries to position himself as a “rational objective voice” on these matters. Singal is extremely familiar with my writings and positions, and I’m sure that he read my essay (if he did not, then it would have been extremely irresponsible for him to make such outrageous public statements about it!). I am convinced that he knew full well that he was misrepresenting my views, and that he did this on purpose (on his Twitter platform which, according to the Wayback Machine, had over 23K followers at the time) in order to sic a social media mob on me. And this wouldn’t be the first time that he did such a thing: In the aforementioned Katelyn Burns thread, she says about Singal, “I was one of hundreds of trans people trying to explain why he was wrong. He singled me out and quote tweeted me with the GG h/t before blocking me.” If you are unfamiliar with what “GG h/t” means, it refers to #GamerGate—as Singal well knows (given that he’s written numerous articles about it) adding that hashtag to any tweet would elicit a horde of men who oppose “social justice warriors” and have a well-documented history of doxxing, smearing, and harassing women and minorities. This is not only an extremely shitty thing to do to someone, but it’s also an extraordinarily unprofessional move for a senior editor of a major media outlet. It’s also extremely hypocritical for Singal to engage in such behavior, given that he also fancies himself a critic of internet toxicity, online mobs, and “witch hunts.”

There are two more incidents that I want to share. Sometime around February 9, 2017, Singal tweeted a video (I believe; once again, I am unable to verify the precise content of the tweet) from someone who claimed that trans women are pressuring cisgender lesbians to sleep with them by calling them “transphobic” if they do not. Here are threads from Katherine Cross and Noah Berlatsky reacting to this incident (many others on social media were reacting to this too, it’s just that these are the two threads that I saved the links for and have easy access to as I write this). I don’t know of any trans women who are going around saying such things—this is a famous TERF myth, akin to manufactured fears about trans people preying on women in restrooms). What some of us have said is that anti-transgender prejudice often influences desire (not that “if you don’t sleep with trans women you’re prejudiced”). Here is Cross making this case, and Berlatsky makes similar points via an analogy with anti-Semitism. 

Do you know who else has made this case? Me! In my “Dating”/The Struggle To Find Trans Love In San Francisco piece I mentioned to earlier. You remember, the essay that Singal loved so much that he couldn’t stop himself from bringing it up in the middle of an article about transgender children? That one! The idea that anti-trans prejudice might negatively influence desire is the main point of that piece! The fact that Singal was now championing the exact opposite viewpoint proves that he did not especially care for my “Dating” piece, but he cited it anyway in order to slut-shame me. 

(Alternatively, I suppose that he might have truly liked my “Dating” piece, but nevertheless chose to champion the opposing “trans women are shaming lesbians into sleeping with them” view in order to piss off his transgender critics and/or whip up social media mobs against us. These possibilities are not mutually exclusive. And frankly, I’m not sure which possibility would be more disingenuous or disgusting.)

One final anecdote: On May 26, 2017 (after all the events I just detailed occurred), Singal sent me this email:
  
Working on a piece I'd like to get some of your thoughts on that touches in part on questions of informed consent for younger gender dysphoric people -- already had useful on-the-record convos with [THREE TRANS WOMEN WHOSE NAMES I’VE DELETED]. Hoping to avoid mistakes I made in the Zucker piece, but I also realize/acknowledge that we've had an unfortunately spar-y relationship on Twitter etc., so I wanted to first ask your permission before sending the question. No worries if you're not interested, of course.

Frankly, the “we've had an unfortunately spar-y relationship on Twitter etc.” remark ticked me off. I never followed him on Twitter, and I’m almost positive that I never once @-ed/replied to him on anything. We never had any kind of “relationship”; what we did have was him publicly slut-shaming me, lying about my views, and siccing anti-trans internet mobs on me, and me simply responding to those events and trying to set the record straight. 

Anyway, I replied that I was too busy right then (which happened to be true), but that I’d be open to answering questions in the future if he was truly working to avoid past mistakes. I highly doubted that he was sincere about that, although I wanted to leave that possibility open, as occasionally (however infrequently) people do change. But I have subsequently learned that Singal received a book deal two months prior [March 2017, according to Publishers Marketplace] for a book about “half­baked psychology” that specifically mentions “recent work on gender identity” [i.e., presumably not the older work by gender-reparative-oriented researchers like Zucker et al.]. So it seems as though his avoiding-past-mistakes claim was not entirely genuine.

But here is the thing that really stuck with me after that last email exchange: He was so nonchalant about it. The tone of his message felt as though we were old pals who had simply had an argument or two in the past, but he was now sorry about what happened and wanted to reconnect. I mean, he slut-shamed me, lied about me, and whipped up an online mob against me, when I had done absolutely nothing to him, except for disagree with his public writings and claims about trans people and issues (i.e., I stayed within the realm of what’s considered “appropriate” public discourse). How could he not see that I’d be angry about all the things that he did to me? And sure, other people have publicly slut-shamed me, purposefully misrepresented my views, and/or tried to stir up online outrage at me, but not a single one of those people had the gall to hit me up for an interview afterwards! 

Upon reading Katelyn Burns’s Twitter thread last Friday, this all suddenly made sense (or at least, some sense) to me. Burns described these strange back-and-forth exchanges with Singal, where he’d alternately be nice and friendly, but then other times be mean or belittling. (Or at least, that’s how I interpreted those exchanges.) This is difficult to talk about in a public setting, because most cisgender people have a simplistic view of anti-trans prejudice: a person either hates trans people (i.e., they are transphobic) or likes them (and therefore is presumed to be non-transphobic). But over the course of my life, I’ve met quite a number of men who have a sort of love/hate relationship with trans women, where they are intrigued or fascinated by us, while simultaneously being resentful or repulsed. And I’m not implying sexually here—there is no evidence of that in this case, plus even if there was, I would never slut-shame or deride a person for that. No, what I’m talking about is men (and it’s typically men) who want to both interact with or be close to trans women, while also displaying a compulsive tendency to disparage or hurt us. (I suppose that some men treat cisgender women in similar ways, so I’m not claiming that this is some kind of a trans-woman-only experience; all I’m saying is that this is a phenomenon that I, and other trans women I’ve shared conversations with, have observed.) 

I have no desire to psychoanalyze Singal from afar—I have never met him in person, and I have no idea what goes on in his brain—but I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he fell into this category. It would explain his impulsive need to insert himself into almost every trans-related issue—it’s not just transgender children, but obscure TERF talking points, the Rachel Tuvel/“transracial” debate, etc.—while almost always coming down on whatever side dismisses trans women’s perspectives. It would explain his lack of empathy towards trans women and his obliviousness over why we might be angry with him (for men who display these tendencies, in their minds, they like us, so they are unable or unwilling to see how their actions may hurt or invalidate us). Finally, it would explain why Singal seems to be generally aware of, and interested in, whatever trans women are discussing and doing online, yet he does not seem to be similarly interested in current affairs and conversations occurring within trans male/masculine communities. 

I said at the outset that I would eventually explain why I decided to write this piece. Believe me, I had way better things to do with my last couple days than re-live my past encounters with Singal, and I’m certainly not looking forward to the inevitable blowback that I will receive from him (and possibly others). I’m pretty sure that he’ll respond in one of two ways. He’ll either turn this into a “he said/she said” thing, and litigate all the small details, not seeing/addressing the forest (i.e., the crappy way he treats trans women) for the trees. This is how he responded to Burns; that post went up while I was finishing up this piece, and while I will not be linking to it here (as a general rule, I believe trans women, but also, in this case, there are too many overlaps between her story, my story, and what I am starting to hear from others), but it is worth mentioning that Singal f***ing added the tag “GamerGate” to his Medium post refuting her!). Alternatively, knowing that Singal is a big fan of the Dregerian narrative of supposedly powerful trans women who (despite being a marginalized population who is not taken seriously by society) somehow manage to conspire to organize witch hunts, destroy science, and ruin people’s careers (in fact, Singal pretty much lifted this narrative for his “How the Fight Over Transgender Kids Got a Leading Sex Researcher Fired” article), I would not be surprised if he took a page from that same playbook once again.

Well, I am not a part of any vast conspiracy. I did chat with Katelyn Burns after reading her thread on Friday, and upon learning that there were other stories similar to what I experienced, I decided to come forward. Hopefully, if other trans women have had similar experiences with Singal, this will make it easier for them to share their stories too.

And to be clear, I am not writing this in an attempt to “bring him down” or “ruin his career.” If I did, I would have come up with a far more provocative, headline-grabbing, search-engine-friendly title than the generic “my Jesse Singal story” I ultimately settled on. I do not think that he is an awful person through and through, or that he should be permanently banished from society. All I’m saying is that he seems to have a history of treating trans women rather shittilly. (Or disrespectfully, or unprofessionally, if you are looking for a non-profanity-laden euphemism.) If Singal continues to prosper as a writer/editor, good for him, I will not interfere provided that he stops inserting himself into trans women’s lives and issues. But since he seems compelled to do so, with no evidence of relinquishing any time soon, I feel that it is incumbent on me to share my story and this history, so that people don’t fall for the “I am a neutral outsider objectively analyzing transgender people and science” act he’s been putting on.

Finally, some of you who read this may be disinterested in all the transgender-related issues that permeate this story (i.e., issues that personally impact my life, but not yours nor Singal’s). And you may be inclined to put yourself into Singal’s shoes and say, “Dear lord, this transgender woman is making accusations that could ruin his reputation and livelihood as a writer!” If this is the case for you, I would remind you that I am a writer and this is my livelihood too. I also have a reputation, one which Singal has tried to smear on multiple occasions (via slut-shaming, spreading lies about me, and siccing online mobs upon me). If, after reading all this, your immediate knee-jerk reaction is to believe Singal, and discount me (and Burns, and any other trans woman who reacts to this piece and/or steps forward), then I have a few social psychology books about how prejudice works that I’d be happy to lend you . . . 

[note: If you appreciate my writings and want to see more, please check out my Patreon page]

new talk: Debunking Anti-Transgender Myths and Tropes

I regularly give talks at colleges and conferences on the subjects of gender & sexuality, feminism & LGBTQ+ issues, and activism more generally. I have just added a new talk to my booking page that some of you may be interested in:

Debunking Anti-Transgender Myths and Tropes
Attempts to deny or delegitimize transgender identities often invoke “biological sex,” make overly simplistic claims about gender socialization and privilege, and/or raise the specter of cisgender people (particularly children) being “turned transgender.” Drawing on her popular essays Transgender People and “Biological Sex” Myths, Debunking “Trans Women Are Not Women” Arguments, and Detransition, Desistance, and Disinformation: A Guide for Understanding Transgender Children Debates, plus her background as a biologist, Julia debunks these common myths and tropes, and instead forwards a more holistic understanding of sex, gender, and transgender experiences. An alternate version of this presentation, called “Biological Sex” and the Pathologization of Transgender People, specifically addresses how these same myths have shaped medical/psychological discourses and diagnoses.

A few other talks you will find on my booking page include:

A Social Justice Activist’s Perspective on Call-Out Culture, Identity Politics, and Political CorrectnessOutspoken: Transgender Oral History & Spoken Word PoetrySexuality, Sexualization, and Self-Examining DesireMaking Feminist and Queer Movements More InclusivePutting the Feminine Back Into FeminismUnderstanding Trans-Misogyny and Trans FeminismActivism, Language, and Differences of OpinionSo if you are affiliated with a college or conference, and potentially interested in bringing me out to speak, all the info you will need can be found on that  booking page !

October/November events, plus essays and interviews!

On my Patreon page, I just posted an update that includes: 1) all my October & November readings/talks/performances, 2) a recent podcast interview with me, and 3) my Twitter essay/thread debunking the latest fear-mongering article depicting transgender as a mere "social contagion."

You can access that post & info here for free!

And if you appreciate my work, please consider supporting me on Patreon. If you do, you'll get access to behind-the-scenes updates, unpublished writings & recordings + more! Depending upon how much you pledge, you may be eligible for rewards, such as free eBooks, signed copies of my previous books, or requesting me to write about specific topics.

Thanks for listening, -julia