Mark Craven's Blog, page 2

In-Ground Pool

Today my cousin Vicky called me at 7am. She knew I’d be awake and I was. She told me that Lefty had passed away. Well she said that “pap” had passed away. He was her father-in-law and obviously her kids, Aaron, Autumn, and Avi’s grandfather, and her husband Scott’s father. Richard “Lefty” Adams was 79 […]

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In-Ground Pool

Today my cousin Vicky called me at 7am. She knew I’d be awake and I was. She told me that Lefty had passed away. Well she said that “pap” had passed away. He was her father-in-law and obviously her kids, Aaron, Autumn, and Avi’s grandfather, and her husband Scott’s father.

Richard “Lefty” Adams was 79 years old and would have been 80 in August. He was Chief of Police for Duquesne Police Department from 1996 until he retired in 2016 with over 50 years of serving the badge.

I remember when I was a kid and Vicky taking me to the huge in-ground pool that Lefty and his wife Judy had in their back yard. And then I think about when Vicky’s kids came along and the countless birthday parties and barbecues that we had next to that huge in-ground pool.

A place for family, friends, celebration, summer fun, and carefree days bathing in the sun.

Ya know, when I think about it and how things change–often in ways we don’t want them to change–I just imagine the soft ripples of the water and bright sun bouncing off the surface of that huge in-ground pool. A place of calm. A place of peace. And I think it was a truly special place for Lefty Adams.

I also remember being at one of Aaron’s high school basketball games and seeing Lefty there with the rest of the family. He was always going to his grandkids sports events and he had a lot of grandkids that played a lot of sports.

Lefty was a man that truly showed what it meant to keep your family first.

And what a wonderful lesson that is for me now to look back on when I have my own son just two months from coming into the world. Lefty even came to one of my band’s shows when we were still playing. That night I smashed my face on the bass player’s instrument and was bleeding everywhere in mid-song. Now let me remind you that I was singing in a heavy metal band, screaming, and jumping around like a maniac. And I was, at least that night, bleeding from my face. Lefty came up to me after the show with enthusiasm and encouragement to keep going after my dream because I was good at it.

I know that all those close to Lefty are hurting right now and hurting bad. There’s no words that can be written to take away that pain and to be honest, there shouldn’t be. It hurts and will hurt because the love that Lefty brought to all his family is a love that you want to experience and feel every day first-hand from the person that brought it to you. This will hurt and that’s ok but the most beautiful thing of all is that that kind of love is one that goes on forever and permeates every life that it touched. Lefty, the man, may not be here with us right now, but his love… his love always is and always will be.

I came to know Lefty Adams as Pap. And he’s shown me beautiful lessons that I will take into becoming a father to my little boy.

Rest easy Pap and thanks for letting us all swim.

Get my new book here: Blog Book vol.2: The Demons We Meet

There’s Nothing More Important Than Family

My younger cousin is graduating from college. Penn State University Class of 2020 School of Engineering. I’m so proud of this dude I could explode. He and I had one of those really deep talks that you walk away from knowing that it really mattered. Knowing that it was an important conversation. “Everything is going […]

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There’s Nothing More Important Than Family

My younger cousin is graduating from college. Penn State University Class of 2020 School of Engineering. I’m so proud of this dude I could explode.

He and I had one of those really deep talks that you walk away from knowing that it really mattered. Knowing that it was an important conversation.

“Everything is going to be different in August”, he told me referring to the fact that he’d be back home and not up at school–working at an engineering firm and not worrying about physics exams.

Right before he went away to college, I gave him a piece of advice that we both said in unison when I asked if he remembered it; “Do dumb shit. Just not too much dumb shit.”

We laughed together and then I told him that I had a new piece of advice for the oncoming change. I told him simply, “keep developing.”

But it was what he said to me that has left me kind of speechless.

“When you came back from California, that was good, we needed you.”

It’s important to know your worth, because it truly is endless. But sometimes we need a gentle reminder of the high regard we hold in people’s lives.

They need that too. So, don’t forget to tell someone that you really love just exactly how much you love them.

That’s what Aaron did for me and my heart needed it. I didn’t even realize that my heart needed it. But it did.

My three younger cousins have always made me feel like I was some kind of hero. From Avi being so little that I’d fly her over my head while she yelled “Airplane!” to them all being at my band’s farewell show with signs waving wildly in the air while they screamed for us.

Aaron, you’re walking into something new and unknown. But you have the best heart and it’s guiding you every day. I know you will know always what to do.

Autumn, my future doctor, you touch every heart that you come near.

Avi, graduating high school and going directly to Penn State, your intellect has stunned me since you were a little girl. And also a big CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! for graduating! I know this isn’t the high school graduation you had in mind and I hope you can find some comfort in knowing how many people really do love and care so much for you. Here’s to you my 2020 graduate, I love you.

All three of you have taught me and shown me that there’s nothing more important than family.

Get my new book here: Blog Book vol.2: The Demons We Meet

Quarantine

I hate this so much. There isn’t one part of me that that finds anything appealing about where we are right now. Shut in from friends and family and the accompanying presence of constant fear when we do step outside to get some groceries or fresh air. This sucks. Actually, this fucking sucks. And I […]

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Quarantine

I hate this so much.

There isn’t one part of me that that finds anything appealing about where we are right now.

Shut in from friends and family and the accompanying presence of constant fear when we do step outside to get some groceries or fresh air.

This sucks. Actually, this fucking sucks.

And I especially hate all of these commercials showcasing how close we can all be over a Zoom call.

There isn’t a single appealing thing about all of this. It’s a damn nightmare and we need to treat it as such. We’re in a waking nightmare every day.

I’d say I’m sorry for being so negative here, but if you can stay with me for a minute, I’m hoping to show you something.

This sucks. And I’m yearning, I’m ACHING to get back to some semblance of the life we all knew before we woke up to this nightmare.

I think hiding behind fake happiness and pretending like a video chat is going to somehow make this suck less is as foolish as we can be. Yeah, lets celebrate this nightmare. Sorry, I don’t see it like that.

I see it like this.

This is a nightmare. One of the worst things society as a whole has faced in a very long time. And there is actually and absolutely no way around the SUCK that this truly is.

So, it sucks. We’ve established that. Stop trying to think it doesn’t suck.

THIS! SUCKS!

Has my opinion penetrated your psyche yet? Can you feel how tremendously fed up I am with this situation and even more fed up with the fake optimism floating around it?

“But Mark, you always write about the good found in the bad, the positive… what is this?”

This is real. This, once again, sucks. But thank God, it won’t last forever. And when we finally get to that time when we’re outside of this SUCK, lets celebrate it. Lets really live again. Because then we’ll understand the meaning of it. We’ll understand the meaning of it because it was taken away from us. Stop celebrating right now. Right now is not meant to be celebrated in the way it’s being celebrated. It’s as bad as it can be. Let that be what it is. But once this terrible cloud of TERRIBLE finally shifts away from us, THEN celebrate. And celebrate like you’ve never celebrated before. Because that’s when you’ve been given your life back.

Hug every mother fucker you can get your hands on.

What I am saying is really simple. People are constantly trying to avoid pain, ignore it, play it down, pretend like it isn’t there. What I’m saying here is to lean into the pain. Fully embrace it for all that it is because when it leaves, and leave it shall, you will experience the fullness of joy in the way it is meant to be experienced.

Get my new book here: Blog Book vol.2: The Demons We Meet

I Don’t Ever Give Up

Does that resonate with you? It didn’t matter how much had come against you in previous pursuits, you just kept getting up and doing what you really truly didn’t feel like doing at the time in order to achieve a specific end. You pushed through what you had to push through to get there. Maybe […]

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In the Same Year

So much can  happen in just a year. It was within this last year that,  first I went bankrupt and then I got hired in the highest paying position I’ve ever had. It was within this last year that I went from living in a bedroom, single, and lonely to having a baby on the way […]

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We Have to Hope

The last thing I’m feeling right now is hopeful. What I’m mostly feeling right now is what most of us are probably feeling right now… Uncertainty, irritation, fear. Uncertain about the future of not just our immediate community but the whole world. I mean it really feels like we’re in a movie–the whole world working towards the […]

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The Dad I Didn’t Have

I’m going to be a dad. And I’m going to be a dad to a boy. Erin and I found out that we were going to have a baby back in December. When she called me, in a bit of a panicked state, I was completely calm–almost excited. I’m 34, that’s not old but I […]

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