Jude Stringfellow's Blog, page 9

Taxes 2024 - Done!

     Nothing like waiting until the last moment to do your taxes, but here I am, killing it.  I looked at the calendar on my wall and I saw that April 22 is Earth Day. I then noticed the tiny letters at the bottom of April 15th and wondered about them. It wasn't for a second or two that I said to myself, "Oh yeah, you have to file your taxes!"  I was going to do it sooner this year, and I meant to, but there wasn't any rush to do it.

    Since long before I can even recall now, whatever I earn back from the government goes right back to it to pay for fees, interest, and other taxes that somehow escaped me back when I was just as lax about it as I am now. I suppose one day, after the Rapture of the Church, I'll end up flush with the government not owing anything -- but until that day, I fight the good fight.

    Like millions of people, I used TurboTax for years, and then, because of the commercials telling me I could switch to H&R Block this year, I switched to H&R Block! I'm here to tell you, they are the same. There is very little difference between the two sites; only the animation has changed. They still charge you for the State filing, despite what you think or feel. Don't think for a second that you'll get out of it.

    They like to hide their fee of course; stating that for $34 administration fee, they'll file your State taxes for free. Then, after you get all the way to the end -and their system won't accept your "selfie" picture and you have to print and mail in the paper forms - they still take your money and tell you that you're another number -- nothing has changed. I couldn't get TurboTax's software to work correctly last year, or the year before, or the year before. I don't know why I thought it would be different for me this year. I wonder if I had paid the additional $21, they would have encouraged me to pay for additional fast and easy service, and if their software would have synced with mine. ( I bet those who pay the $55 fee don't have issues, just sayin' )

    Well, after I got the entire thing done, finished, and printed, I realized I had forgotten to add my Social Security payments! What? That's nuts! True, it is nuts, and it was crazy of me to have the paper in front of me, but somehow I just eliminated it. To be honest, it wasn't easy to backpedal, but I'm really glad I wasn't able to file online because I had to correct it anyway—so there's that! I found a silver lining!

    After adding my SS payments literally every penny I thought I was getting back was sucked back into their system! I even owe a few dollars -- will you look at that? I can easily cut that small check or pay it online, but I filed for an extension anyway - that way I can string them along like they've always treated me. Yes, I realize that's not the best way to behave, and I know that I need to grow up a little and stop sticking my tongue out at the big, ugly government officials trying to tell me that I owe more than I should.

    NEXT YEAR -- I'm told, President Trump is doing away with so many of the IRS requirements. This is going to be really something to admire. I hope it happens. I really do, but given the choice between never paying another tax and having Jesus return in the Rapture -- you don't have to guess which one I'd choose. Maranatha!! Let's go!  At least now, because of the great job I had this year and the responsible choice I made to have enough taken out of my paycheck, I was able to cover my Social Security taxes by all but literally a few bucks.

    I'm smiling, and the good news is that it may very well be the last time we pay taxes this way again—fingers crossed!

Photo Credit: Berfin.ee

DION will end today!! (and then the fun begins)

     It's a strange feeling when you know you're about to end a book you've written. You're at the next to or the next to the next to last chapter; you can sense the closing right before you. It's a great deal like leaving a forest because when you go into one, you're not thinking about how you'll feel when you leave - you're thinking about what could be in the forest that holds your attention. When you leave, you think about the experience you just had, and right before you turn to see the last few trees, you know you're walking toward the clearing. 

    Today is the day that the book titled "Dion" will be finished in its preliminary phase. The 33 chapters will be written, and there will likely be around 79,000 words or so. The rest of the book, the next 6000-8000 words, will show up during the fluff and stuff phase; and that's the really fun part. I go through the bones of the book and add the flesh. I skim over the parts I know will go well and look for gaping holes. I look for opportunities to add the thoughts and notes I came up with along the way.

    Actually, before I even start a book, I have notes and thoughts written in a Word doc to pull up when I finish, in order to insert those thoughts and notes where they would best go. It's a method I've used on all of my books, and it helps to know that even when I'm finished writing the book, I'm not really finished writing it -- not quite.  There's about 1/11 of the book to go, usually. I've even been known to take out a paragraph or two in order to make things make more sense. So, the fluffing and stuffing could go in reverse as well.

    I'll wrap things up, and take two full chapters to do that. The last chapter will be the crowning chapter which will both reiterate the actions in the book, and tell the readers what they can envision for the characters in the future - it gives the reader an idea of what I have in store for those particular characters should I return to them at some point in another writing -- down the road, we'll say. This book, "Dion", shouldn't have a sequel, it's just a novel; nothing grand.

    I haven't dedicated it yet, and that bothers me. I don't really have anyone I want to dedicate it to -- I don't know that I've come across that problem yet, but there are a lot of people in my life who I can dedicate a book to, it's just I like to sort of match the book up to the person, and I really don't have anyone that stands out -- I'll have to think about it. I want it to be memorable, and I want the person to be excited about it at the same time. Thoughts....just thoughts.  I don't want to just pick someone -- you know, it needs to be genuine.

    I'll correct the book and put it up for print on 4/22, and then I'll have a copy sent to me before it's available for purchase. This will let me go through it as a book, finding more mistakes and making those corrections before it becomes available on May 7, 2025 -- Laura's birthday. (My gosh, she's going to be 36! That's incredibly old for a daughter.) 

Photo Credit:  Twitter.com  A Victorian-style crypt  (Elle's is even older)

    

It's Been a Lifetime of Love.

     Unlike the rich and famous, I don't mind telling anyone my age. I won't hide behind some fake tale, pretending I wasn't born in 1961. There really is no other year people could be born in our lifetimes that can be turned upside down and still be the same year they were born -- I was born in 1961, and I am very proud of that fact; thank you very much.

    I tell you that to tell you this: I've been an animal lover all my life. Not since the day I was born, no. I am quite sure I could smell and hear the animals in my parents' home before I was born. We have always been animal people—mainly dogs, I will say that, but I have been a friend of the reptiles since long before I could spell "reptile," and that, because of my upbringing, would have been around age four. 

    I got my library card on my 4th birthday, which should give you a clue as to what I was into and just how long I've been into it. My mom is a prolific reader. Like her, I didn't watch a lot of television, preferring to read stories and entire books by the time I was in the second grade. I was reading tweens by age ten and then the heavy stuff like Agatha Christie when I turned twelve. You know, I thought I was cool. 

    Reading is one passion I grew up with, but so are reptiles. Though I'm not sure if the two really go together, I can tell you that I found myself walking one mile north of my house to the library at the age of five to "read" and then again, walking over 1.5 miles west when I wanted to go to the big TG&Y because it had animals. I couldn't go alone until I was bigger, so around seven, I was making that trek.

    Once I got to the store, I would go to the office and tell them I was there, and they'd call my mom to tell her I made it. It was a good system. It was also 1969, so times are a little different these days. I would go to TG&Y and head straight back to the back of the store where they had the pets and pet supplies. The managers and workers let me stand on the bags of dog food to see into the reptile cages (enclosures), and that was my Saturday morning from about 10-12 before walking home, eating lunch, and going back out to play. We didn't see much of the inside of our houses back in those days.

    TG&Y had snakes for sale. That was just too cool. My mother was not going to let me have one, but she did take me to the Oklahoma City Zoo and let me go into the herbivore house where I could really get up close and personal with many different species. We must have been "members" back in the day, because we went a lot; either with my parents, other people's parents, churches, schools, clubs, or someone. I went a lot.

    I had a lot of little turtles growing up. Some we bought, most we found. I didn't have many snakes or lizards that were allowed into the house, but we had horny toads and five-line skinks all spring and summer long. I do remember chasing them everywhere until I was in my teens, and suddenly, with all the houses going in, the varmints became more scarce.  I did have a king snake that hung out near the barn where I played, and I would play with him - I said him, I never really knew. I think I "kept" him in someone else's field for at least four or five years.  They saw me out there, but didn't bother asking me to stop playing with the snake in the barn.

    We always had dogs, and someone always had horses I could ride, which makes me think now that I must have had an amazing childhood. I reflect on it when I see the sheer idiocy in today's society - we lived life to its fullest at such a tender age. I don't think my knees had skin on them until I went to high school. I don't know if I stopped falling off my bike or climbing trees in shorts, but I wanted to be prettier for the boys instead of beating them at everything we competed in that didn't require strength.

    I remember being so angry at Satan when I was a kid for turning himself into a snake to deceive Eve. I loved snakes. Preachers often talked about them being evil; of course, the venomous ones were untouchable. Still, I never put too much stock into the snakes I was holding as being anything but interesting potential roommates. At least, if I have done NOTHING ELSE with my life, I have instilled into my own three children that holding, loving, and caring for small creatures (and of course, the big ones too) is a good thing. God makes really fantastic creepy-crawling things. You should look closely - you might just agree.

    NOTE: Don't try to outstare a snake - it will only leave you feeling inferior. (They can't blink) 

    

They call them "Texas Brown Horned Toads" but we called them "Horny Toads" and we lived in Oklahoma, so they weren't Texas anything.

Photo Credit: Pinterest.com

Reptile Queen! (I've Been Called Worse)

     Laura and I have a lot of things in common, and she probably has these traits because I raised her and she's just a good old-fashioned Mommy's girl. I don't know, but what I do know is that she played trumpet, and I bought one to learn alongside her, so when she got a horse, I did that too. This time, she got a skink because I got a skink, and because they were Schneider skinks, and being sold at a ridiculously good price, I got one too.

    Truth is, she's been rehabbing and rehoming lizards now like she used to rehab and rehome horses. I will say, it's far cheaper to do the lizard thing; even if you end up buying a bunch of enclosures, fixtures, sand, substrate, hides, fake foliage, bowls, and lights...and yes, crickets!  You can't forget the twice-a-week run to the pet store to get 100 crickets; that's fun too.  Crickets are cheaper than hay, oats, and feed! Geckos, bearded dragons, and skinks don't cost $$$$$ to stall and be maintained. They don't have the vet bills either, but the #1 reason they're better to own than horses, is that horse people suck! 

    We don't have to deal with lizard parents; you just tune them out, or ignore their "advice", which, yes, is annoying as heck. No one does things the same way -- you live, you learn. I listen to the experts and shut out the others. HOWEVER, that being said, I didn't listen to the experts when it came to ordering the Schneider skinks and you'd think I would; but since the best place to buy them online (Backwater Reptiles) was out of the Schneider skink, I went with a company that didn't have the best reviews.

    I won't tell you their name, but I wouldn't buy another "American Reptile" if I had to.  The comments alone should have told me to stay away, but most of the bad reviews were about customer service, not the animals. Apparently, the owners had gotten into trouble over shipping tortoises from places or to places, I don't know. We ordered two Schneiders and they were shipped quickly. They were shipped overnight with FedEx and were only in their little box for about 13 hours; so that's cool.  It's the backstory that is unbelievable.

    Transparency is EVERYTHING to me. I used to tell my kids that I could take the ugly truth, but a pretty lie or omission was not how to handle things.  With the skinks, they came in one box rather than two, but that's understandable since it saves money. However, they put them in the SAME mesh bag with only paper and paper towels to separate them. Granted, Schneider skinks can be housed together, but one is definitely male and one is definitely female. I really do hope nothing too serious was taking place under those coverings.

    When we unboxed them, we videoed - and it's a good thing we did too. The top one was mine, Avalon. She's a younger adult, maybe about a year old. She's dark on top with yellow and orange flecks, but right on top of her head, she has a big ugly already-healed gouge where apparently she was once picked up by a bird of prey; but she managed to get away. It has healed on its own, and the discoloring around the wound proves she wasn't given treatment of any kind. Granted, these were advertised as being wild-caught, but no one said they'd be beaten and battered.

    But wait, there's more.   Laura's lizard, the second one, is a little bigger. It's a boy, and a little thicker than Avalon as well. He's darker on top and has fewer spots. He's missing his entire left hand! You can't know the shock we had when at first we thought Avalon had attacked him in the box. When we couldn't find the hand in the bag, and there was no blood, it was apparent that the lizard was like that when it was shipped. 

    OK, we're good with disabled animals - you may or may not remember why - but it would have been GREAT if they had just told us what to expect. MAYBE that's why they were as cheap as they were. They were only $39.00 a piece. Shipping them was $49.00, and that's very good for a Schneider (Berber) skink. I wrote to the place and let them know, telling them that they didn't need to omit the truth. They could have been forthcoming, and we would have still been OK with them. As long as they're happy and good-natured, which they are.  It's really hard to find a rude or mean skink; just so you know.

    I went online and bought Avalon her own enclosure, and we did the whole party thing at the house where we swap out tanks and enclosures to accommodate our various reptiles. We now have 2 cats, 4 dogs, and 6 reptiles -- Laura's three reptiles are all disabled in one way or the other. One has no left hand, the other two were missing their tails when she got them. PetSmart hunts her down to give her critters that they can't sell. She's a good disabled pet owner for sure.

    Well, that's about it. We have too many lizards now, but at least my office space will remain warm enough with all the lamps turned on during the day.  We were going to house the two Schneiders together, but nope...not if they're gonna be making babies! I draw the line at breeding. I know, I'm really mean like that, but you never know exactly how her guy Zuko could have lost his left hand - could have been because he got a little too frisky with another lizard back in Egypt, where they came from.  It's weird to think that these guys came from way over on that side of the world, but they did.

    Since Avalon is about a year old, I'll give her March 1 as her birthday. She'll be happy and love her new place for many good, fun-loving, basking years to come.

Photo Credit: Me.  This is Avalon the Schneider skink.

Three Fourths Done - Dion.

     My eighteenth book, a dramatic novel titled "Dion", is 3/4 of the way written. I've got about 65,000 words in now, and I'll see myself going heavier on this one than I did on the others. I could top 90,000-92,000 words as opposed to the standard 85,000 that I typically write. Where 5000-7000 words doesn't seem like much, it's a good two to three chapters longer; and when you're planning a book, you need to know these things.

    I'll no doubt have to go back and create a new cover for it because the cover I have now is made for a 360-page book, and this one could be 400. It's not beyond the pale to think that the book could be finished by April 18, but that's just the writing portion. I have the fluffing, the stuffing, the tweaking, the adding, and the subtracting of paragraphs, thoughts, and such. Then, I must go through it twice or three times to find the typical errors. 

    After I do all that, I'll read it again as if I've never read it before, to see if it flows. I'll make notes and changes, and then only then can I send it up to be printed. Even if it is on sale, it won't be released until around May 10-15, so I can order one real printed copy and go through one more time. I do that to be sure I've found as many mistakes as possible. Believe me, it still doesn't mean I'll get them all. NOPE...I found another 22 mistakes in "1211," and it's been out over a year now. GEEZ!

    Someday, when I have nothing else to do (queue the laughing video), I'll go back over every book I've ever written and make all the corrections I can. No, I won't, but it is a fantasy I have, so let me think I can be superwoman just once; thanks.  I don't mind making an error or two, but fifteen to forty can be disheartening when you look over your shoulder to see the Masters in English Literature hanging on the wall. Yep, it's true...I am too human at times.

    At least, I tell myself, I write. I do write, and that's a good thing. I try to do it well and correct it before it's published, but it will not be perfect. I don't know that I want it to be. It wouldn't be mine if it were. That's the #1 reason I don't hire an editor. I don't have a ghostwriter, I don't let people read and critique my books, or give me hints about what I should say - nope. I write. These are my books, and all the mistakes are mine too. I own them all.

    "Dion" means defender and/or to defend. It's Celtic, as are most of the characters in my book. It's a modern book, but it has ancient ties, tales, and stories relating to the past. Realism is real in the book, as is fantasy. It's a modern-day book with modern lingo, slang, purpose, and laws, but it does tend to reflect back now and again to the times when traditions mattered and laws were based on fact rather than the whims of this or that party. Some things deserve to be written in stone.

    Speaking of stone, Elle is just about ready to move out of the crypt she's been living in for about 12 weeks. She's been setting a precedent and proving her steadfastness to the nth degree; she's tougher than most expected. Of course, she's an American with Scottish blood running through her veins; what did they expect?  I'll let you know when it's out - but don't buy it until I tell you it's been through the wringer at least once or twice.

Photo Credit: Pinterest.com  (defender)www.judestringfellow.com 

Foodie! (Me!)

     If you know me, you should know that I am a huge grocery fan. I used to be a grocery store fan - you couldn't keep me out of them, but now, I really hardly ever go. I'll tell you why because I know you wanna know.  If I know one thing, it's that my readers are too interested in the crazy things I say - they really do want to know why I stopped going grocery shopping and why I only (or mostly only ) shop online for my food. Well, it's simple really.

    When I was living by myself, I didn't have the option of shopping online for groceries; that option wasn't available. I began going to this store for some items, but because I could get other things cheaper at another store, I went to that one for those particular items. Soon, I began going to eleven different stores because I could and because it made sense to save as much as I could. I got my walking in going from one store to another (the ones that were close to home), and I did the whole "I'll go when I'm already going to be out for something else" to get the items at a store further away. 

    Then, time went by, and the invention of the internet took over the world, and there it was - online shopping. It wasn't in my neighborhood, city, county, or state, but it was online, and I would pretend I lived in Chicago so I could shop online at Peapods and pretend to buy food. I did that so often that I became really good at it. I was a pro when Walmart and other stores started opening their stores for online orders. I didn't like the fact that they still made me go pick up the items, and more often than not, the food that they chose wasn't what I would have picked up - I stopped buying online for a good two years and dreamed of the day it would be perfected.

    ENTER...KROGERS!!  When we lived in Indianapolis, we always shopped at Kroger's. I loved that store. It was a little more expensive, but then again, if you bought Kroger brand items, it wasn't. I found out that so many Kroger-brand foods are made by the big names anyway, with the brand name changed on the packaging. Win-win!  Now, Kroger's has online shopping and delivery, so that's exactly what I do, and I do it literally on a nearly weekly basis now. I spend more than I would if I went to the store because I pay for the delivery and give a $10 tip every week. Overall, I spend about $45-50 more a month NOT going to the store but allowing others to do the shopping and driving, and of course, I pay a tip.

    Let's work it out -- the average American, according to three internet sources I looked into, spends $300-370 a month on groceries, and that's them getting in their car, driving to the store, shopping, driving back, unloading, and putting the food away. That's not how much they spend eating out, but just grocery shopping.  OK then, let's compare.  I have been going to Kroger since November 2024, nearly weekly. I added up all the orders I placed and divided them by the actual weeks, which, so far, has been 20. I get this: I average $450 a month for two people, not one! That includes the delivery charges and the tips.

    I'm not driving to the store in traffic or bad weather. I'm not fighting people who can't or won't shop with purpose, I'm not standing in line, or dealing with lines or people who don't know how to do self-checkout. I'm not putting up with the people I don't want to see or be around -- you know who I'm talking about -- those people who thump melons, reach for the boxes in the back, etc. I'm just sitting here on my computer, typing, waiting for the Kroger delivery person to shop for me, and to drive my food to me, and I'm doing it for less than the average American shopper! Another win!

    I get the full exciting experience of online shopping. I know for a fact that Kroger always picks out the best produce and/or product I want; it's been that way since the first order. I can HONESTLY say that in the 15 times I've had them deliver the food to me, only one (once) time has something been opened or broken open; and they refunded me immediately! It could not be easier or a better experience, and no, they aren't endorsing me. I just seriously love this way of shopping! No matter what I'm looking for, they have it. I'm not over the top crazy strange in my food loves, so I'm not asking for something that isn't normally found on their brick and mortar store shelves. 

    The Kroger warehouse is somewhere here in OKC. When I shop I take my time, I choose when I want it delivered; and I can save another $3 if I get it delivered around 2:00 or 3:00 on Saturday or Sunday, so why not? They have refrigerated vans! Rolling ice-boxes! Sign me up. They have coupons, good prices, and fresh everything, and if you go online and look, they have recipes! I don't go there, but I saw the link! I may go there. You can't stop me...nope, don't try -- it's a goal now. I'm going.

    Honestly, this is life. I truly, really do love it. I just paid $131.35 for food and $4.95 for the delivery. That's about average for every 10 days or so. I don't have it delivered every week, it's almost every week. It's about 3 times a month to be really honest -- So average? $405 monthly + $15 delivery, so $420 and then $10 tip, another $30 for the month. That's $450 a month for two people, or $225 a month for one. Dang! The thing is, we eat well. We are not skimping, don't hold back, get as much as we want, and eat well. We go out once a week too, and we feed dogs, cats, rats, and lizards, which are not included in the Kroger bill - except yes, I guess some of the lizard food is included; they eat salad.

    Overall -- perfection! I LOVE IT.  I hope you can benefit from it too. I don't miss the parking lot mayhem. I don't miss the people in line who can't move up when it's their turn to do so. I don't miss the cashier talking to me and messing up my order. I don't miss the crowds, the noise, the spills on aisle 5 -- and I do not miss the getting home and realizing that the cashier didn't push the milk to the conveyor belt so it didn't get packed. This has been a Godsend -- www.kroger.com  Give it a go. 

Photo Credit: Kroger.com

She's (It) is Here!!

     So, like a dummy, I ordered a blue-tongued skink online without so much as asking what color it was, or what sex it was. All I saw was the "on sale" banner and snatched that puppy up before someone else could. BTS (blue-tonuged skinks) can go upwards of thousands of dollars if they are a certain color and/or fit for breeding. I am really NOT interested in showing my baby off for completion, nor am I wanting to make more of them, so the sale thing was huge for me. To get a young BTS for $149 was awesome.

    Of course, as I stated in my last post, it's rarely just the lizard that you have to buy. You need the enclosure, the bowls, the hides, the fake plants, lamps, a heat source, and UVB, as well as bowls for them to drink and eat out of. Don't forget the substrate to go on the bottom of the tank; yes, the huge tank can also be a bit expensive. I did the math, and the entire thing was around $700 after all was said and done - there's the shipping too.

    Cion made it! She was packed and shipped off; only staying in the box about 24 hours before being unboxed and immediately loved. She went into her mesh bag, packed with paper and stuffed into a regular box lined with Styrofoam, and then taped shut! OMG..there was no air really -- but I'm told that the Stryafoam breathes and there was enough air. The box was small. I was concerned, until I did a bit more research on it, and the great people at Backwater Reptiles assured me and explained to me just how safe it really is. I have to admit, I wrote to Abbey at Backwater Reptiles and asked her to teach me about such things - because to me, it was crazy! They did such a great job! They really know their stuff.

    Cion is about 5 months old. She's grey-tan with black stripes, and she has a beautifully curled blue tongue. I'll see if I can post photos when she's up to it. You can catch my Instagram, and that way you can see all the updates.   She arrived at 11:15 a.m. today and we immediately took her out and gave her a nice warm bath to restore any moisture she may have lost, and we made sure to hold her and keep her close to our chests for warmth too -- and let me just say, she loves me so much more than she loves Laura. I know this because it was ME she decided to release every drop of pee and poop she had inside of her onto ME...not Laura. She loves ME!

    You haven't lived until you're holding a little lizard and a gallon of "stuff" comes out of it - I had no idea skinks could do that - but I now know; I will never forget it either. I've had skinks, and I've had BTS before, but that was just such a kind and generous welcome gift. We really bonded in that moment. I was thinking of returning the favor, but didn't know if it would fare well in their culture. I refrained.

    We went straight out to Exotic Pets in OKC  and bought her a few things. Just for your information, the one BTS they had at the Exotic Pets store last month was $560, and she was 8 months old.  Cion is really happy in her 40-gallon, but she's young, and I know I'll need an 80-gallon tank in the summer. No worries, we'll keep the old tanks for new lizards. It works out perfectly -- waste not, want not; that's our motto.  Why, just today, we were walking through PetSmart, minding our own business, and buying a new tank, when the manager asked Laura if she wanted a free Crested Gecko -- what? Are you serious? It was missing its tail, and they can't sell it -- of course, Laura said yes, and there we were, minding our own business, buying another tank -- it's sort of a Catch-22. I can't take Laura anywhere.

    Cion is resting. She's had a hard first day traveling in the dark all the way from Hollywood, Florida, to Oklahoma. She's not sure she likes all the fuzzy faces staring at her, but she knows she's in good hands -- I don't know about you, but I tend to pick up my lizards and love on them -- not sure they love the singing, but I do at least try to stay in key.  She'll learn to love it -- they all do.

Photo Credit: Me.  Cion the Blue-Tongued Skink (5 months)

For more blogs: www.judestringfellow.com 

Another Expensive Hobby - Reptiles

     Try to keep up because the numbers do change from time to time. Today, we have four dogs, two cats, three lizards, and two rats, but the numbers will change very soon. I just ordered my second lizard, which will give us four in the family. I have two, and Laura has two. We both have a bearded dragon. She has a leopard gecko, and I have my new younger blue-tongued skink! Woot! (in two days)

    We gave up horses a while back, and let me just say, I have enjoyed having money to pay for food, gas, car payments, and other things that a person needs to pay for. Horses can be, and are, so very expensive. It cost us more than $600 a month in board, not to mention feed, time, effort, and energy, and then there were vet bills. Sure, we enjoyed riding on weekends, but you have to deal with the weather being hot, cold, wet, or windy. It was a nightmare! (Funny, no one ever says it was a nightgelding.)

    Well, today, I ordered my very own blue-tongued skink. I didn't mark down a preference for it, so whatever sex they send me is whatever sex they send me. I am not getting two, so it doesn't really matter.  You can't house two together anyway, so the sex of a blue-tongued skink isn't all that important when you decide to buy one.  Many lizards (and other reptiles) don't particularly like to share living space with another reptile, even if they resemble one another. They're simply not social.

    My beardie stares at me. She watches me and thinks about making eye contact with me, but she's happy being on her own and doing her own basking thing without needing to be held or comforted. The blue-tongued skink will be about the same, but they are more "friendly" or, in other words, more tolerant than the beardies. The skink family, in general, is a good family of species to handle, and the blue-tongued skink is rather known for being gentle, easy-going, and slothful. They don't bolt out of your hands trying to escape. They basically accept their fate if you're bent on holding them.

    I had one about 30 years ago when the kids were really young. She was older when I adopted her, so I only had her a few years, but I loved her. She was rather large, too.  I have no idea how big the new one will be; the website says they are juvenile, not babies. That means it should be at least 6 inches long. They grow to just over two feet, including their tails. Most hang around the 18-20" mark, and weigh about 1.5 pounds, so they're good-sized, but nothing too big.

    I'm excited to see the color pattern on my new baby, who, by the way, I have named Cion. I was going to call him/her Kenny, but that was the name I was going to name my Schneider skink, but that didn't happen. Laura and I were going to get two, and house them together, but they are nearly sold out all over the country! Blue-tongued skinks are a little more expensive ($150 vs. $60), but they are good, durable, long-lasting, affectionate lizards, and I've owned both, loved both, and prefer the BTS.

    Cion is also the name of one of the characters in my new book; it's Celtic, more Irish than Scottish, and means "Love and Affection." So there you go—sweet baby lizard of mine. Of course, I will post photos when he/she arrives in two days. We're all a flutter here at the house with all the things you have to buy when you decide to buy a lizard. Still, when the chips fall, it's a lot cheaper than owning a horse, and it stays in the house with you -- you don't have to chase it down during a storm to force it to be safe. I like that fact.

    I may make a list of reasons why owning a skink is preferred to owning a horse. I am quite sure I could come up with at least 50 reasons! Here is a list of things you must buy before bringing the baby home.

Enclosure - at least a 40-gallon to start, $150 - 200Substrate sand and coconut  $20Light fixture for heat and bulb $25Light fixture for basking and light $35Hide  $20Rocks and climbs $40Bowl to drink from $15Decorative accessories $30There you go—then you buy the lizard for $150, but they can range all the way up to $6000.00—if you're silly like that, which I am not and never have been. I like my lizards and my horses to be grade if they can be—they're not competing or being shown off.  Cion will, of course, be the best-looking Blue-Tongued Skink to ever live - we know this to be true, so we don't need to prove it to anyone. He or she will be told this fact over and over again -- one of the perks of being my pet.
Photo Credit: FactAnimal.com (Blue Tongued Skink)

Dion - Chapter 20

Before we get started, there will be errors. Get over it. It's not published yet. I'll go through it and clean it up before it's released.  

Chapter Twenty

             AsElle ventured off to Edinburgh, a trip she knew would be an all-day adventure,Jack remained behind, hoping to stretch some of the kinks out of his body fromhaving shared the cold stone floor the night before with the only overlydetermined woman in his life who wasn’t trying to change him. He chuckled underhis breath when he rolled over on the mattress topper and found that Elle had carelessly placed the long-handled squeegee stick against the tomb. A tool meantfor washing away dirt and grime from windows, maybe to cleanse the dust on awindshield was now expected to rid the world of ancient layers of airy sandparticles that had taken decades to form the pristine sloping piles they had forged around the base of the tomb and against the corners of the eastern section ofthe room. The irony of everything about it crashed through the cobwebs of hismind; he hadn’t had his coffee yet, so Jack decided to go with whatever his mind was coming up with.

            Something,someone in fact, was outside the window. Due to the placement of the eleveniron bars, it was difficult to see exactly who it might be, but from theappearance, the person seemed to be a man. The man could be seen at a distancerather than when Jack approached the bars; their height made it impossible forhim to peek through. When he stood against the eastern wall of the tomb, he couldmake out just enough to put a few facts about the interloper together. Theovercoat gave him away to some degree; whoever it was, he had a little money,he wasn’t poor or impoverished. He didn’t carry an umbrella even in the type ofweather the skies were threatening, which could mean he was a confident man, oran idiot; either worked well enough in that scenario. If he realized before heset out that day that it could rain, why wouldn’t he protect himself, and if hewas one to know the forecast, and chose not to carry one, he was either probablynot going to stay long, but make his inquiries quickly before moving on towherever it was that he had come from.

            ThoughJack was certain he had seen the man before, he wasn’t convinced that the manin the graveyard was Cion Fedder, the Stirling councilman he knew was working on Elle’scase. If it was Fedder, and he all but felt it was, Jack wondered if his beingin the crypt would benefit or hinder if the man made his way over tothe vaults. The iron gates of the multi-roomed crypt had been closed at eitherend. Elle had managed to find a locksmith willing to change the locks for her,even without the proper deeds in hand, which proved she was the owner; the mannever asked, and she never verified. It was a simple request and monetary exchangeas far as everyone concerned knew. If Fedder hadn’t been made aware before, hewould certainly be so, as the new locks were modern, shiny, and were activatedwith a standard key; not something made of iron with a few “bones” attached.

            Jackwatched anxiously as the man attempted to enter the western side of the crypt.To get to the door, he needed to first climb a dozen or more stairs,cross a stone landing, and make his way across a cobblestoned ornate veranda,an original design that no doubt took months to complete. The crypt had beenlisted for quite some time with the Stirling Council, and a generous amount oftime and funds were given for its upkeep of all of its exterior façade, itsiron gates, and to some degree, the passage between the two gates. The councilor caregivers did not attempt to sweep the western room or the far eastern room, both of which were situated south of the crypt and hadtheir own iron gates to protect the tombs from vandalism.

The other roomswere essentially empty, with a number of inlaid interred bodies sealed withinthem. Each of the six rooms was full, having a couple of dozen or more Finleyor Finlay relatives stacked one upon the other on both sides of the room, beforethe sides were sealed off permanently when the last of the room’s residents waslaid to rest.  At last count, more than thirtybodies were encapsulated in each room, allowing over one hundred and twentybodies to be of record; with the two end rooms being the more recent of thefamily’s final resting place. Geoffrey Finlay’s body was the only one stillinside a stone coffin, being somewhat oversized to fit neatly in with theothers. Had Fedder, or whoever it was, known this, then the only reason for himto be at the crypt that day would be to discuss matters privately with Elle.When he found that the doors were locked, he began calling for her, hoping shewould come to the gate for a conversation.

Jack, like anyone would, had explored the crypt entirely before resigning himself to stay in the western room with his friend.  Being the only room with a window, the western room told Jack all heneeded to know about the other rooms. They were meant to be sealed off, andwith no one choosing to care for the crypt, the open doorways to each roomcould have been sealed at some point as well.  The rooms were housed, embedded within thelarge construction, with each end accessible through a wide opening; both weregated, and now both were locked.  To makehis way to the other side would be fruitless, Jack knew, but he also knew thatwhoever the man was, he might not realize that Elle was absolutely serious whenshe told Councilwoman Robertson that her land was, in fact, hers to modify,with or without permission from the council. She would see to it that she protectthe crypt and the surrounding land, to the best of her abilities. Jackhalf-expected Elle to commission a wrought iron fence to be installed, and perhapsa few Baskerville-type hounds to walk and guard the perimeter for good measure.

Jack, because hecould, opened the iron gate on the eastern side with the spare key Elle had givenhim. Hiding in the eastern room north of the gate gave him a perfect vantage pointto see out the open archway without being seen, as the sun hadn’t peekedthrough the clouds yet, and therefore, no light came through the long corridorto make its way to the eastern walls. With a singular twinkle in his eye,knowing what to expect, but having no idea just how much fun or trouble he couldcause, Jack purposely called out to and invited the unknown visitor to make hisway around the crypt’s enormous structure to the other side using an impersonatedwoman’s voice.

Perhaps driven byhope and curiosity, the lone man reached out to grasp the top of the iron barson the eastern gate. To his surprise, the unlocked entrance gave way, creakingopen to reveal the dimly lit world it had protected. Cautiously, he steppedinside, and the scent of old stone and damp earth filled his nostrils. He noticed another smell, a musky, almost manly aroma swirling just infront of him, as if to let him know he wasn’t alone. The guest called out toElle twice, shaking his head, as he recognized a woman’s voice before. He knew the westernside of the crypts was locked, but surely someone must be inside. If she did intend to escape through before he arrived, there would be noreason to invite him in. She could have waited for him to leave the cemetery entirely before makingher exit.

As he ventured deeperinto the vaults, the sound of his own footsteps echoed off the ancient walls,punctuating an eerie silence, but still, there was that smell. It seemed to beboth in front of him and now behind him. Using his cell phone as a lightsource, he aimed the front of his device upward and toward the ceiling of theplace, scanning for what he could, having never been inside the building before.Unaware of Jack’s presence, the man moved with a sense of urgency toward theonly other light in the place, which was in fact the window of the western roomand the gate he knew was locked on the further side of the hall that separatedthe various rooms from each other.

The flickeringlight from his cell began to cast long shadows, creating an atmosphere of suspenseand intrigue. He placed his hand on the wall to his left, thinking perhaps itwas wet or damp, but it wasn’t. The cold stone felt smooth in some spots, rougherin others, but overall, it was something pleasant, almost surreal, as if he hadstepped headfirst onto a movie set; the silence was hard to deal with, and hecalled out to Elle a second time. The man stopped, failing to notice Jack silently following him, like a guardian spirit of the forgotten hallowed space.Turning to his left and right, he decided that going further wouldbe pointless. If Elle had left, he would need to retreat from the same way hehad entered, knowing the other gate was locked.

Before leaving, theman made one last attempt to find the person he had hoped to see. Taking a fewsteps toward the open room, he noticed an electric cord plugged securely intowhat appeared to be a solar-paneled generator; the plug led directly to a smallheat source, allowing at least a small area of the room to be as comfortable aspossible. More curious now, he stepped another few steps forward, giving Jackthe freedom he needed to make noise; at this point, his captive had placedhimself exactly where he needed him to be. Standing before the intruder, Jack’ssmile broke from the corners of his mouth, covering his face entirely. Liftinghis eyebrows and shaking his head, Jack reached inwardly far enough to graspthe edge of the old wooden door’s latch, instantly closing it before placinghis spare key into the lock and turning it.

The sharp clangof the latch echoed through the chamber, sending a chill down Fedder’s spine.Spinning around only to find himself alone and confined within the room madehis skin crawl; had this been their plan all along, he wondered. Catching hisbreath, Cion tried desperately to see whatever he could out of the westernwindow, but like Jack, it could only be done when standing further away. Jack’sappearance through the barred opening sealed any thought Fedder may have hadthat he had, in fact, smelled his captor, even if he hadn’t seen him.

Seating himself a few feet from the window, which from his vantage point allowed Jack to sit on thelanding’s edge and view into the tomb, he listened as his prisoner began to askhim if he realized kidnapping a councilman was in fact a felony, and that hecould be charged with a class A crime. “Criminal? Me?” asked Jack. “Itseems to me, and probably to anyone who wanted to see my livestream on YouTube,that you made your way through the gates of a privately owned crypt on privatelyowned land, and found yourself.” Jack laughed, “Wait, I think I will streamthis.” He reiterated to himself that he had been correct; it was Cion Fedder whom he had seen through the same window, and only their positions had been entirely reversed.

“Elle isn’there. The woman you heard was me, at least you thought it was a woman, so I supposethat would be kudos to me; such a confidence booster if I do say so myself.” Jack delighted in his antics, sendingthe images of the captive man through the lofty airwaves to be seen by morethan several thousands of Jack’s followers on both sides of the Atlantic.Though the hour was just past seven in the morning on the East Coast, it wouldn’tbe too far-fetched to believe that the live stream could reach viral status withinminutes, considering the subject matter; a man trapped inside a crypt isn’tsomething everyone is accustomed to seeing on a daily basis.

 “Most of my followers are in America andCanada, some in Australia, so it’s not likely that anyone will recognize you,so I’ll have to dox you a little, and tell everyone that I have successfully entrappedStirling Councilman Cion Fedder this morning, as he was making his way througha very privately owned property while attempting to discuss how he and hiscronies at the council are trying to rip the land out from under its rightfulowner, who, no, I won’t dox, and in not doxing her, I’ll let her know, sinceshe was pinged the second the video started, that she is expected to return as quicklyas she can, because I now…oh, now, I fear for my life…” Jack reeled back infalse pretense, throwing his hand over his forehead and gasping loudly. “Ifear for my life if I should release the man to be freed from having purposelywalked into the legal domain of someone without being invited, without beingexpected, and without being wanted, as far as I know.”

In Falkirk, justoutside the Kelpie’s and the Water Wheel, Elle was doing her best to saygoodbye to two of her favorite internet vloggers, known to the world as Annieand Zach from their personal YouTube channel, Simple Scottish Living.The two had married a few years after meeting at an American youth camp, whereboth were counselors. Annie, a petite and charming American-born Georgianwoman, had fallen instantly for the tall, handsome Scotsman she had beenassigned to work with; both were taken aback by just how quickly their relationshipdeveloped.

 Soon, they began dating, spending more timetogether, taking a chance on the odds that such a relationship would take hold,and hoping it would grow. They became engaged and eventually got married. Tokeep his bride and her family happy, Zach moved to the States, where the two begana family. They moved completely across the country to Southern California aftera few years. After a few more years of living the American Dream, the Scottish allure had them happily packing; they moved their young familyback to the land and people where Zach was raised. Because their lives seemedinteresting to others, it made sense to video their progress and send shortclips to their friends and family, who suggested they share their adventureswith the world.

When Elle’s phonesimultaneously pinged with Zach’s the two looked at one another, with Anniecocking her head to one side. “That’s the ping Zach gets when our favoriteScottish vlogger is live streaming; do you follow Jack Abercrombie, too?”She asked Elle, who by this time had glanced at her phone to see what she couldonly hope was a joke or at least something that could be explained. When Jackstated again that he wouldn’t dox the woman who lived in the crypt, but thatCion Fedder of Stirling Council had been caught red-handed entering her “home”without cause, Zach laughed to add his two pence to the matter. “Jack…oh, he’stoo much. He’s captured a man in an old crypt!” Zach’s words seemed toscrape the skin off Elle’s neck, as she wondered what would be the fastestroute back to Finlay, and if she could even make it happen before thecouncilman had chalked up enough criminal charges against Jack and possibly herselfsince the man was trapped inside her crypt.

“You’ll excuseme, guys, I need to make my way back to Finley as quickly as I can.” Shestated, turning to her new friends to answer Annie’s question. “Yes, Annie,I am a fan of Jack’s, but right now I’m not so sure if he’s going to be alivemuch longer, so his next live stream may be him showing not only how I killedhim, but where I chose to bury him. Because I own that crypt and so much of theland around it, I do have options.” She laughed without laughing. Annie’sface was stunned, flushed with a tinge of shock, but when her eyes met those ofher husband’s, she quickly reached for Elle’s arm.

“Before youleave, take my number. Call me when it’s over and tell me everything. I want toknow literally everything about it. You don’t get it; I’ve loved Jack Abercrombiefor a while now. He’s just too funny. You have to be the woman he’s in lovewith, don’t you? He calls you Tigress! You’re her, aren’t you?” Annieasked. “Call me; I want to do a vlog with you two, if that’s okay,” Annieasked. “Down the road, you don’t have to answer now, but I want to know how this ends. I’ll send Jack a comment telling him you’re on your way.”

Less than asecond had passed when Zack glanced back at his wife again and said, “We’lldrive you. There’s no way you’ll make it to Stirling and then to Finlay withina few hours. We can make it in twenty or twenty-five minutes. We don’t mind. I’llcall my parents and let them know so they can keep the kids a little longer.This couldn’t have worked out better for any of us,” he laughed, his eyesshining at his wife. “We love Jack! Now we love you.” The thought of allthat was happening seemed to take control over Elle’s mind; she couldn’t turnthem down, and she didn’t know exactly where to start trying to explain whatall she believed had caused this particular fiasco.

Photo Credit: Annie and Zach from YouTube (Simple Scottish Living) 

Dion -- About Half Way Finished.

    If we're going by chapter count, I am more than halfway through the book. I just finished Chapter 17, which is usually a significant milestone for me. I love Chapter 17 in all of my books. That's when it all comes together and all the characters should be explained, or at least most of them. The important ones will be explained enough so that they can begin making noises and sounding somewhat normal. If you read my books, you'll understand they have a specific pattern. I didn't mean for it to become that way, but it is my style, I suppose. 

     "Dion" is not the name for the book that I started out with, and it's not even the second name I milled about in my head. It is, in fact, the third name I came up with, and there is a reason. There is usually a reason. I typically keep reasons with me so I can utilize them when necessary.  I was going to call the book "The Grange" and it was going to be about the specific cemetery, or take place in the specific cemetery by the same name in the south part of Edinburgh. I decided against it because I didn't want anyone whose loved ones are buried there to become upset with me if I named them, and I didn't want to make up names that aren't there for the same reason.

    I decided to move the cemetery west of the capital city to a little hamlet that doesn't exist, in a county that does exist. That way, there would be enough realism floating around with an equal amount of fantasy, giving the book its well-deserved fiction genre, but it would be believable at the same time. That, too, is my style. I see that sort of thing cropping up in all of my books. I can't say they are genuinely historical, and I can't say they are not giving it their best to be so.

    According to what I found on the internet, the word "Dion" has a few good meanings. From the Greek connection, there is an association with Zeus, as Zeus' son is called Dion or something close to it. Zeus may have nicknamed the kid "Dion" because it was short for something a little longer. It means strength, or a divine one.  From the Celtic people, the word means a fierce defender. That's what Elle is in the book. She defends her position as the rightful owner of a plot of land that has been encroached upon by the area council, who have been using part of it for overflow of their cemetery.

    The word "Dion" is also associated with qualities of leadership and determination, two more words that Elle Finlay can identify with. She is quite strong and more than just determined to claim what is hers, but she will do so in the face of threat and scorn. She doesn't back down; she doesn't know how to retreat. For her, it is kill or be killed, and she's not afraid to live in a centuries-old crypt without electricity or any other form of modern amenities to make her point.

    Right now, I'm at the point where she's just begun to squat in the crypt, making herself as comfortable as she can. She's purchased a small solar-powered generator for a hot plate, and some light she will need at night when she finishes her work. She takes showers at the local gym and has an actual ice chest with actual ice to keep her luncheon meats cold. She has made up her mind to face whatever is necessary to bring to light all that has to be brought to that light - she's not going to give an inch, fearing someone will try to take the proverbial mile from her.

    That's where I am. She'll soon encounter some of the more earthy, less glamorous things that can happen to a woman while living in a crypt. She'll even end up making love in the shadow of several of her ancestors while fantasizing about what they would have to say about it if walls could speak. (Several of the people she was related to who died are now buried in the walls of the crypt's rooms.) She's not going to let their pious judgment stop her from taking over and making their place, her future resting place as well.

    This is a fun book, but it's taking me longer than most of my books. I don't have an excuse either, it's just not a book I'm pressured to write. I'm writing a few chapters a week, and I'm OK with that - I'm not on a deadline - no publishers are crying for it to be completed -- and even if they were, I'd not feel pressured to please them. That's the really good thing about being self-published. I write because I like to write. I made $1.84 last month off my books -- woot!! If I wrote because my living depended on it, I would hurry. I know that's not the case, so I move at my own pace.

Photo Credit: Pinterest.com