Jude Stringfellow's Blog, page 64

Health is AWESOME.

 OH MY GOODNESS, nothing brings you closer to Jesus than to have a sudden scare that sends you right into orbit. Orbit is so much closer to Jesus than Earth, you'd have to agree.  So, there I was minding my own business at work this past Monday, when I decided enough fun for one day, I was going to go home, read and relax! Nope! That's not what happened. I walked through the door and caught my daughter Laura balled up on the big chair in a really odd sort of half-sitting and half-dying position. She wasn't quite capable to speaking, but there she was, apologizing as she does, and trying not to be a deathly burden.   Sometimes I could just squeeze her widdle cheeks, she's so adorable! Then there are those times like this when I had to basically lift her and help her to the car so I could take her to the hospital E.R. so I could keep her around a little longer. 

    When Laura becomes dehydrated she nearly immediately falls into seizure-type chaos that can be quite silent and would-be deadly, but we've managed to catch it in time each time it has happened. It has happened about 5 times now. The last really big scare was on January 1, 2020.  Pretty sure everyone remembers where they were the day the lights went out all over the world regarding health.  For their part(s) the doctors at the hospital had not heard of "Covid" before, so she was diagnosed with severe flu with dehydration and a respiratory component. We know now that she had the C-word!  

    This time, as before, Laura was just about at the end of her rope and we decided to make a beeline for the E.R.  After waiting over an hour to be seen (and yes, she actually had to pass out in the waiting room before anyone determined that she was severe enough to be pushed to the top of the list.) I get it, hospitals are busy places! I think next time if there is a next time, (and I really hope there is not) we'll head over the old Deaconess rather than Baptist Integris main, there just aren't enough angry words in my vocabulary to describe how rude I wanted to become. Let's just say God made one of us a bitch, and Laura's lucky to have a defensive dog in her corner! If left to her she'd let everyone in front of her and we'd still be in the waiting room -- unless we were now waiting in the morgue. I don't play that well. I push.

    After trying to insert the IV into her arm 3x, the sweet RN tried the other arm. She found success, but she was absolutely upset with herself for not being able to find it sooner. I explained to her that this happens every single time they force Laura to wait. Her veins collapse, and they wonder why she's so sick. It's nonsense.  After the IV came the testing for Covid, Flu, and RSV, she was negative for RSV and Flu and positive for the other. SERIOUSLY? Again? UGH!!  Then they downgraded it saying it was more than likely the flu, but a slight infection was detected and that can oftentimes throw the test into a false positive. I hate that. I really hate that. I get that it's practicing medicine, I do, but when you tell someone they have something you need to be sure. JOBS depend on it sometimes!

    We were sent home five hours later, and several bags of saline were pumped through my kid. She was told to rest, take over-the-counter meds for the flu-type symptoms, take plenty of cool-warm baths to bring the fever down, and yeah, they gave her antibiotics for the infection.  All's well that ends well, but damn it, this thing did not end!! This was Monday, and by Tuesday night I was sick with it. Albeit, I didn't have the dehydration component, I had a massive headache to beat all get out, and then the stupid fever wouldn't stop for anything. I drank and I do mean DRANK a bottle of Dayquil in a day's time trying to get comfort from the pain and body aches. It was crazy stupid, and let me tell you, it's not easy to care for your kid when you're dead to the world. No, it is not! She was crawling to the bathroom and all I could do was pray for her. I let her know I loved her and she let me know she loved me too.

    So this is Saturday and we are just now coming out of this funked-up mess! I'm better than she is, but she had other issues to start with, so that makes sense. My dang fever literally lasted three solid days and that would include three solid nights. I wasn't ever dizzy, never lost my footing, but I couldn't bare the body aches and the brain searing. She was experiencing brain pains too, and this is just something neither of us remembered from when we had Covid in 2019-20.  I had it in November 2019, and it lasted through February 2020  as far as the lingering cough. The initial flu-type sickness was about 4 or 5 days, but the cough, oh my gosh, I was upsidedown with whooping and coughing back then. I couldn't take four good breaths without a cough coming up. I pray that never happens again!

    We take health for granted. I would say "In this country" but I don't know, I think people just think overall, generally speaking, that they'll be OK, and all will work its way out to being good again.  We're both in between healthcare plans at the moment, waiting for the elimination or probation period to end so we can use our healthcare rather than paying for our needs ourselves. This is another real reason that Americans (and maybe others) choose to not see a physician. It is expensive. We have to go if we miss 3 or more days of work, and that sucks because in our case(s) we haven't been at work long enough to pay for the clinic visit to get the note to return to work. I don't really like paying $400 to have a doctor say I was sick and I can now return to work!  It just goes against my grain, that's all. I'll be OK.

    Today, Saturday, was the first day I could eat anything other than shortbread cookies, and trail mix bars, and I think I had a few gingersnaps but my dog had more than I did. I didn't have the energy to stop her. I did manage to wolf down a few handfuls of Apple Jacks cereal; there's that! Highly recommended when you're sick. Drinking anything really sucks. The tastebuds take a beating no matter what virus you have. Blood doesn't carry the needed oxygen to the little guys and they just can't do their job. However, if anyone thought Pedialyte was tasty they were and are dead wrong. It's terrible. Flat never doing that again. I'll keep Gatorade around, but even that seems too strong. I don't know, maybe I'll come up with a drink that folks wouldn't mind drinking when they feel that they're about to give it up for good. Why should nasty Pedialyte be the last taste they ever have?

    Going back to the beginning, and talking about talking to Jesus. I was and am in constant communication with Him; now and when I'm sick. When I am sick He gets my full attention. I'm absolutely a mess, begging, pleading, thanking Him, and getting back to the whole begging and pleading theme of the conversation; more like a monologue. I'm the only one doing the talking. He's listening, holding me, rocking me, reminding me that He really is who He says He is, and there was and is a reason for all this suffering. I have to be honest, I don't like it.  I do, however, love it when I'm able to sit up again, take normal baths again, and drink water, tea, or LaCroix without crunching my face.  I like it when I'm healthy and Jesus and I can have the other types of conversations; the ones where I get to do His service rather than being on the receiving end of needing help. I'm too stubborn! Maybe that was my lesson, I don't know, but Laura should be given a medal for her efforts!! She pushed and pulled and fought like a bearcat to help me when I knew she was in pain and burning up with fever too! Woot!! That's my girl.

    If you (today) are healthy, be so at peace. Be blessed and consider yourself blessed. Reach up to the Heavens and proclaim your victory through Jesus, because He is the only one who has given you this gift.  I don't even care if it all sounds so churchy, it may be churchy, get over it. God is too good not to declare it!!  Being sick absolutely sucks big time and being healthy rocks!!  I have a couple of days before I have to be back at work. I literally missed four days of work, and I don't think I have to get a note since I was caring for Laura and it makes sense as to what I have. I am without a fever, and on antibiotics so I should be given the all-clear. Again, what a wake-up call to know that we are so vulnerable, but so watched over. We are loved. I know I am. I know you are; I hope you know that. 

    Laura is on the mend too. She's up at the computer again playing games and looking at horses to buy and sell, it's something she does online for fun. It's great to hear her arguing with the folks about horse care. Everyone's an expert! I just smile and shut the door!  

My friend. 

Photo Credit: zoro.com

    

Deception! You Have to Fight it.

 I'm really going to have to stop minding my own business! Whenever I do that something really bad usually happens! Today, I was doing exactly that, I was coming home from a great day of work, but one that started out pretty funky.  I pulled out onto the expressway and there was already a line forming for the light that was well over half a mile down the road!  I took an exit and bailed before I got mixed up in that.  Good thing I did too, as I drove an alternative route it was apparent that others were doing the same thing. We all ended up close to where we should have ended, but we all pulled up a bit too short and were in another traffic jam just before again, finding an egress and making our way (snaking and sort of exploring) through the parking lots of two separate malls in order to get to a light that wasn't stuck on red or wasn't blinking!! OMG, there were people driving full speed right through the red lights because they apparently had stayed red. NOPE. That's how accidents happen!

    So, yeah, there were two separate accidents due to impatient Monday morning morons. Those of us who took the scenic route found ourselves able to get onto the right streets and quickly out of the way! YEA!  I made it to work on time, and when I came home I was beckoned IMMEDIATELY by my daughter Laura, who hadn't moved all day from where she had stumbled and collapsed onto the overstuffed chair in the living room. She could barely move, she was clinched, locked up, and feverish. Time to go to the hospital.  This has happened a few times in the past four years but this time she had sat in the same spot for hours without calling me to say she needed help.  She's a bit too polite. I really don't know who raised her, I don't give off those particular vibes that often; especially if I'm about to die. I will ask for help.

    We make it to the E.R. and we check in, I won't go into the hassle we ran into with the intake specialist; suffice it to say she was triaged ONLY because her mother isn't polite.  I basically forced the front desk to push her through so she could get an IV in her arm! I must have told them 11 times that she was about to pass out and when it gets to that point it will be next to impossible to find a vein. I guess the little woman up front had been a bit jaded from all the mothers who come in and demand that their kids be seen. My kid is 33, and couldn't stand, she was a shaking body of heavy jello, and she did eventually pass out; just like I said she was going to. THAT was when they FINALLY admitted her to triage. It was a bit better once we got past the gatekeeper. I know she has a job to do, but there is also something to be said for mothers knowing their kids and their behaviors.

    OK, so here's the part about Deception and how you need to fight it.  Laura was questioned, but I had to answer. She was incoherent. They finally managed to get her permission to discuss her details, and I answered for her. When the question came up as to whether or not she was fully vaccinated I declared that the state law prohibits them from specifically asking, as it is often used as a means for bias in treatment. They reworded the question, not willing to leave the box unchecked. I told them that she was being seen for dehydration and flu-type symptoms. They decided to do a multiple type test to see if she had C19, Flu, or RSV, but I again insisted that they run the IV first; she was dehydrated to the point of passing out and I was going to become a bit more adamant if the refused service because they wanted to probe about her vaccines.  They started the IV.

    The sweet woman trying to find one of Laura's useable veins tried four separate times. She mentioned that if she had been called thirty minutes before she had been that she could have gotten it on the first try. I agreed. I told her that EVERY TIME we go to the hospital we have to fight the front desk and without exception they always wait too long and Laura is poked and poked and the medical staff becomes more concerned by the minute. You'd think they'd read the charts.  Laura is too sweet. She would say, "Oh, it's OK, I'll be alright. See the others first. I am sure they need more help."  I'm not that nice. I've tried to make this point. I know when she is about to tip over and pass the point of no return. 

    Once the IV was in the same nurse administered the three-in-one nose test to see if Laura was in fact suffering from Big C, the Flu, or RSV, a respiratory virus that has many of the same symptoms as the Flu and as C-word.  She informed us that the doctor would come in and tell us what the results were. Since they didn't have an open bed they put Laura in the hallway and though she had six blankets wrapped around her she was literally chattering and spazing from the IV drip. I had no idea that could happen. I Googled it, and it does happen. The IV saline was at room temperature too!  Laura's fever was just at 100, so it makes sense.

    She was finally moved to an E.R. room, not admitted, and another nurse came in to say the results were back, and it was "you know what". Oh really? If it's C19, I asked, why is that Laura's sense of smell is heightened, and her sense of taste is heightened, not diminished. She didn't have an answer. I asked her if C19 (shouldn't we upgrade it to C22?) and the Flu had the same symptoms. She said they did, but the test came back negative for Flu and positive for the one we can't say without being sent to Big Tech Jail. REALLY? That's interesting. I asked if I could see the package that the test came from, I'd need the serial number and the lot number of the package. I asked  if I could have the chain of custoday right down to the signatures of the tech who took it to the lab, and the lab worker who ran the test. I asked her if I could also see the results so that I could read them myself rather than being told what they said.  Do you know, that after the nurse had stared at me for a good minute or so, the strangest thing happened next?

    The doctor assigned to her case came in to explain a few things, and he had with him a form that had the symptoms that Laura presented, as well as the symptoms that present for both the Flu and C. He mentioned that they were exactly the same, that the particular test he had ordered is not 100% accurate,  and that in fact, they've been experiencing a few false positives lately.   That's when he suggested that she be put on antibiotics and bed rest with fluids, Vitamin D3, and Vitamin C.  He added that she could take 10mg of Zinc too; it would help with the Flu. Oh, so it's not C19? It's the Flu? He stated they present the same, and the tests are often inaccurate. When I asked why they say it's different if it's the same, he shrugged his shoulders. No answer. When he left the nurse said they do what they are told to do. Yeah, I know that.

    Her doctor also ordered her another drug for nausea, but she didn't have any.  When I asked about the antibiotic he ordered as C-word is a virus, he said that the antibiotic was just a general for whatever could be lurking in her system that caused the white cell count to go up and give a false positive.  OK...yeah, so what I'm hearing is, if she had been vaccinated she would have had the Flu, but because we didn't answer, she had "IT", that was of course until I forced them to prove it, and they knew they couldn't.  THIS IS WHY I don't believe the numbers.  She had low potassium and a slight infection. These two things led to her dehydration. Done.

    If I had not been there if Laura had just gone in on her own, first, she may be dead in the waiting room, and then she would have accepted her diagnosis without arguing. She would have thought maybe she did have it, but maybe she didn't. Her throat was sore, and she had aches and a fever. No vomiting, no diarrhea, nothing to say C19 was definitive, just a virus, and antibiotics don't work on viruses, but they give them any way to cover their own ass when they purposely drive the numbers up to get the narrative straight.  I literally overheard the nurse tell another nurse that she hated her job because she hated lying to people. She saw me, she knew I saw her, she knew I heard her, and she said, "You know we don't have a choice, right? We have to say what they tell us to say."  I told her I fully understood but giving someone a diagnosis that is false is both unethical and malpractice. She said the test results said what they said. I asked her to prove it. She couldn't.  She said that's what they TOLD HER.  Of course, they did. Who pays the lab?

    All in all folks, the moral of the story is, I believe there is a thing out there called Covid. Laura and I had it in 2019-2020.  It was a different strain of Influenza and nothing more. They gave it a new name.  Laura was hospitalized with it before due to the dehydration component. We survived and have antibodies from it. It's just that Laura shouldn't be diagnosed with something, anything if she doesn't have it. People who are vaccinated shouldn't be worried about getting sick right? Isn't that what the whole vaccination promotion was all about?  (Did you know, that if she had C19 she couldn't have taken the Ibuprofen she had taken earlier in the day? It could have killed her. But she did take it, and she's alive, so there's that.) 

     All I'm saying is that doctors and nurses alike are being told to say things they don't want to say, but when they stopped doing that, the labs apparently don't really send up the paperwork, they just say yes or no, and they don't support their answers until and unless they are called upon to do so. An hour went by before the doctor came into the room for the last time to say it was probably the white cell count that threw off the test results - again, according to the lab without any documentation in hand.  Let that one go, she's causing problems. That's the takeaway.

    Stand up for yourself is the real takeaway. Stand up for your parents, for your kids, for your spouses, friends, and family.  It's not the poor nurse or the poor doctor who is to blame. It's not the average Joe who works in the lab either. It's the larger more dominant dictator of the narrative.  YES, there is a real virus out there and it is killing people, but there are so many ways to both avoid it, prevent the fear, and not be worse by taking unknown substances in our veins HOPING that they, the ones who really know the truth, but won't tell you, are actually telling the truth. Remember, for a Deceiver to be deceptive he or she must first know the truth so that they purposely lead you from it. When they have the power, the authority, and the education, we fall into the trap of trusting them. Don't.  READ and know what you need to know.

    Laura was released after having saline run through her until she gained color and was able to function. She was given a diagnosis (and yes, she said I could say so) of having been low on potassium and a slight infection, even though there was no evidence of that infection. She was treated and released. Her discharge papers say she needs bed rest, plenty of fluids, Vitamin D3, and Vitamin C, and it would be OK for her to use 10mg of Zinc every day to stave off any would-be viruses in the future.  I guess they don't want her using a horse dewormer. You'd have to know to know.

Be safe folks. FIGHT for what is right. 

Photo Credit: FineArtAmerica.com

Jesus Still Forgives Even When We Fall Again

 Listen to the words of Steph Macleod, a Scottish singer whose heart and soul yearns to know Christ fully. 

“You are holy 

You are my King.

For your glory, I lift my eyes and I will sing

You are the way to eternal salvation 

You are the one who has set me free

You are the light that shines forever 

Jesus, you’re the one true Savior of me “

(For Your Glory) 

Words that speak truth. Return to them. 

My Next Horse ("Horse")

 About a year ago, I sold my last horse because I was planning to move to Scotland, I knew I couldn't take him with me, and I found an amazing family with kids to take good care of him. Casper is a grade Quarter Horse, and he stands about 14.3HH weighing in about 1000 pounds. When I got him I weighed over 210 pounds and my saddle weighed about 26 pounds, so that's 235-240 pounds. A horse really shouldn't be subjected to more than 20-22% of his/her weight as cargo, and that includes the weight of the gear.  Yes, I know, I know, there are 250-pound men riding 14HH cow ponies and there are women who carry about that much weight on themselves as well while riding, and they think it's OK if they're only going for a short ride. It is not good for the horse(s) and no, I am not going down that road today. That's another reason I decided to get out of the horse world; the horse people!

    I always say the best thing about horse people is their dogs, and I mean that. I fully mean that. Horse people can be some of the most sarcastic, rude, and uninformed know-it-all bastions of moronic behavior, but they're dead set that you are the same. You can't be right because they're right. You'll never be right because they are, and even if you prove it to them, you're still wrong. That's the case with so many horse people I know, and after all the years I've been into horses, I have met and seen my share. No, I've seen and met far too many. I'm really very glad that my daughter keeps up with her hobby, and I don't have to.  

    Owning a horse can be so very rewarding. It really is, there is nothing like it in the world. Owning a horse can be extremely expensive too, and there's nothing like that in the world either. You find that you have no problem spending $150 for a vet to come out and check to see if your horse is really sick but you won't spend $6 on a bottle of name-brand shampoo for yourself. Now, if it's "Mane and Tail" shampoo you might, but it goes to the barn and stays there. It is good shampoo though, and you can use it as well as your horse. No biggie there. I'm just saying that when you own a horse (or three or ten) you'll end up spending your last dollar on something it needs or you think it needs. I can't tell you how many times I've just walked around Atwoods and wound up at the horse section looking over another piece of tack when I know damn well I don't need anything else, but there I am, thinking another halter would really look snazzy and why not? Why NOT? Because I already had 9.

    I lost the weight, and when I did I found that I was staying on top of the horse more and spending less time picking myself up from the ground. Funny how that whole physics thing works out now and again.  When I was heavier I was riding my horse like I did when I was a kid. I was riding as if I was fit, and honey, I was not fit. I was not thin, I was not close to being in shape or healthy, but there I was on top of that saddle and pushing the pony to do more than he had the umpf to do! Poor guy. I leased him for about a year before selling him to be sure I wanted to keep him; I knew I wanted to, but I didn't know if I was really going to lose the weight I needed to, and I really didn't know the situation with the overseas move.  

    The company I was going to work for never took off.  After COVID they decided to pack it in. They didn't have the strength to withstand the months off without income; it was what it was, and it is what it is. I sold the horse about a week before I found out the bad news; and you can't very well go back and get your horse back, not when you sell it to good people with great kids who really love the horse!  I cut my losses and considered the sale a good thing. I miss my Casper, he was and is a good example of what near perfection looks like. Norman, my Mustang, was in fact pure perfection.  Bedtime Hero, my older Quarter Horse was also perfection. I've been very very blessed.  Eoghan!! I can't forget Eoghan!! He was also near near near perfection.  God has been so wonderful allowing me to have so many sweet creatures in my life. 

    Now what? Do I get another horse? I can.  I could take $1500 from the bank and buy the horse. Then I'd need about $300 to have it delivered. I'd need another $350 to have it quarantined first, then about $400 for the first month's board. Of course, after he (gelding) arrived at the barn there would be a farrier called out, that's another $45.  I'd need a vet check, $150.00.  I'd need Lacy to come out and do a full-body chiropractic procedure; can't go without that. It's for the horse, not me. She charges about $125.  Oh, and we can't forget the dentist!! Every other horse you see needs his or her teeth floated. Washburn does the best job I know, and he's another $125.00.  Are you feeling what I'm saying? That's BEFORE I hop on and ride. There's the saddle of course, too.  I sold mine, so I'll need one. I can pick one up at the swap for $400, I kept the bridles, bits, and pads. What's the total? $3395 and that's just not the end of it. That's the start of it.

    Next, you'll find yourself at Atwoods, Tractor Supply, or online buying the buckets, feed, tack, grooming goods, essential medical care supplies, tackle box for the medical supplies, and more. You'll need lotions, sprays, hoof care supplements, possibly joint supplements, daily wormer, rotation wormer(s), and those things you just thought of at the last minute that sort of jumped out at you like saddle soap, no one ever has the right hoof picks, so you buy two, one for a backup! This is a real thing folks. If you have a horse you have no money. I mean, you're happy, sure, and you're riding off into the sunset with a big grin on your face, but you aren't eating as well as you once did, and you turn off the lights all the time too. You find that your clothes and mouth always have horse hair in and on them and you don't care if your boots are muddy when you walk into the store. You can't afford to go into a store that doesn't understand muddy boots anyway.

    Well, here's what I'm doing now. I have decided to get another horse, but this time I'm not doing the whole $4000 out of my pocket thing. Nope. I found a horse online that will cost me $799 delivered, and ladies and gentlemen, I don't have to feed it. I can name it. I'll probably name it, but I don't have to ever worry about it collicking. I don't need to set appointments for it and be out at the barn to meet the vet, dentist, chiro, or anyone because the horse will be IN MY HOUSE and not even at the barn. Did I mention before that the $400 was for pasture care, not a stall? Yeah, keeping your horse in a stall will be $700 or so a month. (A MONTH!!)  My new horse is going to be both efficient and effective. I will ride it (don't know if it's a girl or boy) and I'll never have to worry about anyone stealing it because to do so they'd need to first be inside my house and I think it weighs over 72 pounds. It's made of iron for the most part. :)

    I'm going to buy an electric mechanical horse. I knew they had electric mechanical bulls and I actually thought about buying one and only keeping the settings at a slow pace and forward not spinning or twisting. I can just see myself flying off the side and hitting the frames of my paintings on the walls! Geez, that would be a mess.  Nope. I don't have to do that. I can just buy the mechanical horse and be done with it. The settings allow you to trail ride, walk, trot, canter, and even gallop! I can post and I can relax and one-hand it. I am actually not thinking about galloping in my living room either. I think a good steady canter may be the best for me. I'm not into trotting in the first place, and certainly not if I have a remote control to do what I want to do!! I'm going to trail walk through my coffee time and canter for the workout!  Man, this is gonna be fun. I have a 30-day trial too, so if I don't like it I can send it back and get a full refund!! WHOA!  (did you like that?)

    What should I call the thing? I'm thinking something Scots Gaelic, maybe Haggis! It's got to be a good strong name. I don't think the thing is purebred, probably just a grade animal, but it is dark, compact, and attractive.  It has a built-in "saddle" and comes with speed control. Oh...that's good. I think it comes with a crop whip! That should make you laugh. It made me laugh when I saw it. This is a mechanical horse. Why would anyone need...wait, I think I just figured it out; never mind. Not that I would use a crop, like I said, I will use the extra hand for holding my coffee. I do that when I ride a real horse as well. The thing must be broke to the point that I can ride one-handed and hold my cup. I've had some really good horses in the past, but I think Haggis may be the smoothest ride of all; not to mention he'll be controllable; I have a remote.  Oh, I guess I just said "he" so I guess it's a boy -- we know he'll be a gelding. No balls. I mean, I suppose you could buy some as an accessory, but there's really no need. Sort of like the crop. I don't think I'll use a saddle either, just ride bareback. Yeah, this could work.  If nothing else I'll have fun exercising and the neighbors will have something to talk about. Jeannie will try it. She'll probably end up buying herself one. Why not? Cheap entertainment. The dogs (and cats) deserve a good show!

    Did I tell you the thing comes with spurs? Really? (just odd)  OK, I have to be honest, I'm not really getting this, it would be fun though.

    

Photo Credit: Techtongda.com

So Profound! (So Simple)

 Just this morning I was listening to one of my all-time favorite preachers, a man by the name of Amir Tsarfati. I can't say enough about Amir. He's an Israeli, so he's Jewish, and he's a former Captain I believe, maybe something higher. I need to go look that up before I go off and brag about him. He's just an amazing man. He was in the Israeli Defense Force, and he was in their Intelligence program as well. He's now a preacher and a teacher, as well as an award-winner author of several spy-type fiction thriller books all having to do with the End Times. Wow, just wow, wow, wow!  When people say things like they hope Jesus looks like Jim Caviezel, the man who played Christ in the famous Mel Gibson film "The Passion of Christ", I smile. I know it would be awesome to be able to say Yep, that's Jesus, so handsome! I think the Bible actually says Jesus is rather plain; I think I heard a sermon on that. Anyway, when I think of Christ, I think of an image far more aligned with Amir Tsarfati than Jim C.  Go look and see what you think.

    So, Amir was preaching at Calvary Chapel Chino Hills, out in California this morning. He gets out to that area about once a year now, and he and his buddy, another great Pastor, Jack Hibbs, have a few conferences where they grab a couple of chairs, sit on stage and talk to people for about two hours. This year they were standing at a table and they took a little longer, and they were on fire! Both guys were just going on and on about the events that had literally just happened. The name of their program (incidentally) is Happening Now. I'll share the link so you can go listen. It was seriously serious, and drawn from the news of that very week, and even that very day! They prove through the Word what God had to say about the End Times, and it's almost as if you can pick up your Bible and turn to this morning's headlines by going to Ezekiel 37 and 38! Do it! I double-dog dare you! If you are a Bible-Believing Christian, you know I'm right. I love it.

    Amir made a statement today that I have to share. It was so profound and yet it was so simple too. He was talking about the Liar, the Deceiver, the one we call Satan. Satan comes as a light, but he is not THE LIGHT. He is a counterfeit, he is a false light. He knows the actual truth, but he shares a lie with you to draw you away from the truth. Here is what Amir said, pay attention.  He said, "In order for a person to deceive you they must first know the truth. If they just told you something that wasn't right, they would just be wrong. I tell you, listen to me, if someone knows the truth, and tells you something else, leads you from that truth, they are lying to you.  Don't you think Satan is fully aware of what the true Messiah can do? Don't you think Satan already knows what awaits all of us who believe? He lies. He purposely lies." (Emphasis added)

    We know the truth. We lie to ourselves when we allow ourselves to be deceived and when we purposely go in the direction that we KNOW God has said is wrong, and God would know, He created us. He knows what is our destiny.  In Jerimiah 29:11 it is written, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  God flat KNOWS the plan because He created the PLAN!  You, before you were born, were part of the PLAN. He knew whether or not you would accept Him. He knew if you did what your plan was, and how you would fit into HIS plan. You can't escape it, and why would you want to? Stop listening to the lies. Stop listening to the Liar, the one telling you that someone is spreading rumours about you when everything they ever said was proven and true. You may not want to accept what they said as fact, but you know what you did, you know where you were, you know and they know. Guess what, God knows, and more importantly, He already KNEW, past tense, and Jesus was crucified for that and other sins. (Mine, too! Thank God)

    So simple.  So profound.  The liar knows the truth but draws you (and others) away from the truth for his/her purpose.  When someone promotes you, admires you, sings your praises, and they are only there to uplift you before God, you are not to bite them if they also chastise you or scold you when you are falling or failing. God has a plan, you are part of it, and some people were put on this Earth to guide you EVEN IF you don't agree with their words. As long as they are not lying about you, and what they are saying can be proven, you have no reason to bite. You do, however, have an obligation to evaluate, deep-dive into your behaviors, and see if what they have been saying to you has merit. Why would someone who loves Jesus be a deceiver to you? Most likely they would not, but Satan may want you to think they are. Pay close attention to where the feelings in your heart come from. Are they whispers of the great serpent who also whispered lies to Eve, or are the words you hear in your soul come from the Holy Spirit?  If it is the Spirit, you will not meet the other person with disdain and anger, you would be moved to show grace. That is the ultimate litmus test. Did you respond with anger? Did you respond with grace?

    Please, don't let your heart be troubled. You don't have to live with the lies you are being told. The light may be counterfeit, it may only seem warm and inviting but could be hiding the face of the one wanting to lure you away so you can't shine your own light for your God. You do belong.  You do have a place. You do have worth. You are the child of a living, breathing, truly forgiving God. Never think you have gone too far to be forgiven. Never think that anyone who truly loves you will stop loving you or stop praying for you. Now, let me say, I am human...I will spit, and I will cuss at you, and I will pop you upside your head like Jethro Gibb if you need it. I am not beyond showing that side of me. Someone once told me that Jesus wouldn't appreciate my hand-slap; I reminded them that Jesus broke out the whips and tossed the tables! "My God is an AWESOME GOD, He rules from Heaven above, He rules with Power and LOVE, my God is an Awesome God." He will always, now, and in the End, be right! He cannot lie. He will not lie. He also, and pay attention to this; He will NOT change His plan for you or anyone else. 

    We are to conform to HIS pole, not expect Him to accept our weak and sin-filled decisions. He is sovereign! The sooner we realize that the better rest we'll have. I really like to rest. Maybe that's why I'm so adamant about following His direction and not falling into the muck of this world. Why "tolerate" and "include" if Jesus told us to flee from and stay away from such people? Think about it. If God said it was wrong for Sodom and Gomorrah, it's still wrong today for everyone.

Link to Happening Now: September 2022  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqLhpxaxYnQ

Amir Tsarfati

Photo Credit: dreshare.com

Nineveh Moment (A Repost)

 https://judestringfellow.blogspot.com...

It just seemed the right thing to do.  Times call for this REMINDER that God said what He said, and He's not going to change His mind. Do it, or swim with the Fish!  

Oh, let's just for the sake of argument say that you're lying there, minding your own business, and God decides you need to do something for Him.  He's God, right? He can do that. He can just simply "decide" that you need to do something. You don't have to do it, no, you actually have a choice in the matter. Jonah certainly opted to opt-out, and well - - choices have consequences, don't they?  

    I said that God decides to do something with you - or have you do something for Him. What I should have said was God commissions you to do something for Him; He doesn't decide really, because the entire plan, every last point of His plan, has been planned, has been decided, has been in motion since well before you were born. You were, as it were, part of the overall plan. Therefore, it goes without saying that whatever it is that God has planned for you, with you, and involving you, will in fact take place. You may not arrive there in the fashion you thought you were going to arrive, but you will make it to your personal Nineveh, you can take that to the celestial bank! 

    Let's just say, again, for argument's sake, that God has asked you (commissioned you) to be in the prison ministry. Remember, I'm just pulling this example out of thin air. I'm not picking on anyone in particular, but hey, if you feel the guilt inside your soul when I say that...so be it.  You're laying there, again, minding your own business, maybe making plans to pick up your guitar and strum a few old chords to try and make them make a bit of sense, when out of NO WHERE, your heart thinks a thought and your brain disagreed.  Your heart stated that you should be in the prison ministry, you know it, it's rather obvious to you, but your brain and your common sense kick in and they start debating with your goodness. The reasons and the excuses you find tend to make sense the longer you fight with yourself too.  You haven't really heard what you thought you heard. You haven't really felt what seemed real and poignant. You must have been side-dreaming; dreaming on the weak side of your noggin while the smarter more intuitive side was taking a break...no, you shake it off. That was a wild and crazy thought!

    It may have been a thought, but it may have been the Holy Spirit too. You know the drill. I say you know the drill. If you're a Christian, and you've been accepting the love, protection, and blessings of the Spirit for a while, you understand what it feels like to have a word sent to you through heart-mail. Heart-mail is that unmistakable gut feeling that your life is about to take a twist and holding on for dear life is one option, but letting go and giving it to God is the one you're supposed to choose.  Let go. 

    You check again, and you realize that the message was clear enough, but now you have to find a way to convince the spouse; maybe others.  You can't do this on your own. That's what you tell yourself, but instead of putting your best foot forward you end up sticking that foot right up your own ass! Don't you? Well, Jonah thought he could get on that first rate ship to Tarshish too. He had a plan, the problem with his plan, and the problem with YOUR plan is that it goes against the other plan. The one you know you're supposed to do.  (Is it too close to home to ask for an "Amen" at this point? Am I the one striking chords at this moment?) I'm not even asking for a friend - - friend. 

    Traveling by boat would probably have been the method Jonah could have and should have taken. He wasn't standing anywhere near Nineveh when God gave him the directive.  He ended up on a boat, a rather nice one too, but he didn't stay on it now, did he?  His plan to continue his concert tour, write music for others, sing and perform for the masses took a sideswipe the second the ship's first mate unhitched the ropes from the dock.  I think Jonah may have forgotten that it was God who made the trees that made the boat.  It was God who made the hemp that made the ropes. It was God who made the water that held the boat afloat, and yes, you guessed it, it was God who made the first-class whale that came along and carried out the mission that ultimately was going to be carried out no matter what method of travel or personal agenda Jonah may have believed he had the right to adhere to. (This is where it gets a little crazy.  I bet this wasn't Jonah's first rodeo -- he knew better.)

    Let's go back to the prison ministry analogy. Maybe you're supposed to be there singing, writing, talking, communing, worshipping, witnessing, and listening to men give their confessions before God. Maybe you thought you couldn't do that on the budget or salary limitations you were handed. Maybe you thought it wasn't easy to get to all those places, and your car wasn't the best, and you aren't the best driver, and time wasn't on your side, there were just too many things that needed your attention.  Did you forget that God made the asphalt that made the roads? Did you forget that God made the time you thought you could waste? Did you forget that your voice, your ears, your eyes, your hands, your life is not yours but has been bought with a price? Did you think you wouldn't make it to the VERY PLACE you were told to go? You made it. We all make it. We all have our Ninevehs and we all have our Nineveh moments. Some of us learn to swim with the fishes; while others learn to bunk with the bullies, but we make it to the Nineveh we were told to go to. EVERY TIME.

    What now?  Well, that's pretty simple really.  You wait.  You wait on God to give you the word. You wait on God to bring you the service. You wait on God to provide every last detail because that was (and has been) the plan all along. Your spouse (and no one else for that matter) should NOT have a word to say if God has ordained the plan for you. You don't worship your spouse, do you? You don't count on anyone else to bless and fulfill your needs. You don't pray to the spouse, you don't give homage to them either. If they were the loving and surrendering soul they swore to be, you wouldn't have to beg or plead. You have a mission - - you will achieve it; one way or the other. In fact, hasn't this method you chose been a bit harder on them than it would have been if you had just taken the path of obedience? Funny, how it works that way. 

    My Nineveh? Oh, I said yes. I didn't argue. I was more than willing to just jump on the right ship and head off for smooth sailing(s).  I have to admit the water has been a bit rough lately since the man I was commissioned to pray for has decided to bulk at his directive, but that's the thing -- my assignment is to keep the router steady. I'm supposed to force that thing deep into the waters and hold it hard enough to cut through the current and keep my eyes on the horizon. My assignment is to steer, pray for, love, encourage, fight for, defend, and sometimes even explain why it is that I just refuse to stop pushing. Someone has to push - - I'm just really good at it; that's probably why God was gracious and gave me THIS particular assignment. He knew (in His great wisdom) that I could handle the pushback, the backlash, the name calling, the misconceptions, the skepticism.  I can handle it. I know the way to Nineveh...I've been there a few times. I've never had the privilege to go by whale belly, but I have hit the rocks a few times and skinned up my knees. Bruises hurt; they hurt enough that I didn't really want to do more self-affliction. Nope. Listening to God is honestly, and I mean this, the only way to go.

    Sir, friend, you too will be fine. You will make it through. You will shine again. You will be the man you are now, and so much more -- do you know why? Because you are not your own, and God does not, and God has not ever, made a mistake.  Get up off your ass and set your course for Nineveh. You're not alone. If you need help I'm just a few clicks away -- but then again, you know that. For argument's sake let's just say you decide to listen this time. I am the one smiling because of it. God's got this. Let Him fight your battles, He's never lost one yet.

Photo Credit: Wallsauce.com

Civil Responsibility. (If You Say You'll Do it, Do it.)

     I am not one of those supportive fans who pay XX amount of money each month into a Patreon (crowdsourcing) type of account for say a vlogger, a singer, a writer, or anyone really. I understand the concept, and I can even appreciate the fact that others do pay for subscriptions to help artists and would-be entertainers. I even understand that many start-ups need extra income so that they can focus on their work and they can do what they need and want to do. The problem I have with all of it is the fact that there are so many of these takers. I'll call them takers, who take money from hundreds or even thousands of subs and they don't really give back to the community who is paying into it. They often pre-record videos to share, or they come up with fake and boring "private messages" that ONLY members can see. OK, yeah, if you can't say it without charging to say it, I'm not really going to be interested in what you have to say. I can see giving a bit here and there, but I can't see funding someone so completely that they and their spouse are now rolling in money to the point that they travel the world "So you don't have to", isn't that their catchphrase?  Investment is one thing, supporting and financially maintaining is another.

    One such artist, one who asked his fans to give a little, maybe just the amount of a good-sized coffee drink each month, promised that anyone and everyone who subbed to his channel would be invited to a monthly video-zoom chat with him, and for about 15-20 minutes each month, he would keep his fans up to date, answer questions, and give them candid insights to what he was working on. Whoo! Wow! Geez, don't we all feel special?  The thing is, that lasted one month exactly. He didn't get the numbers he expected, but 14 people did continue to sub but no, they were not given monthly updates and videos, and they were not given zoom chats. He basically just kept taking their money while he stepped away from the microphone for about four solid months, and that led to now 10 months since there's been any real "update".  Who in their right mind would continue to sub someone who failed to meet the very basic promises. Fifteen minutes a month isn't such an enormous commitment that it can't be done! Make it happen. You gave your word. Perhaps "your word" doesn't mean as much as it did years ago.

    Seems to me that the Patreon site and sites like it would be a bit more aggressive by holding owners of channels and/or whatever they're called, to their contract. I say "contract", but it is a promise to do something for a fee. It is an offer and an acceptance of said offer, therefore, it is a contract. In some cases, it's even in writing if the artist writes out his or her rewards for this level of support, and more for the next level.  It makes sense for someone giving even a dime to an artist to expect something in return. I would support and give for the sake of supporting and giving but I have a problem with giving on a monthly basis with a half-assed promise or tease really, to be able to see, hear, and/or communicate with a particular person in person or on live chat.  Pardon me for being so underwhelmed, but I don't tend to worship men or women. I appreciate them. I applaud them. I am an admiring fan, sure, but I am not about to contribute month after month while the artist sits on his or her duff doing nothing, or goes traveling for months without so much as a "hello" now and again on the site through a video or posted message.

    Is a fan supposed to GUESS what's happening if the artist decides to be moody and not respond to his or her obligations just because they don't FEEL up to it? Maybe they're having a bad week, a bad month, and they think because they are the ones with all the creative juices they somehow have a right to play it coy and be the aloof stand-offish type of entertainer that so many people coo and babble over; being able to brag that they contribute to the next greatest hit!  There's a sucker born nearly every day I'm told. Many of these people grow up to be Patreon contributors, I suppose.  

    Again, I understand a timed giving; say for the next few months they ask for help while they stay at the grind and work on an LP but taking six months to write one song? No. I'm sorry, that's playing the field, and it's both immoral and unethical! It's robbery if you think about it; since they promised and obligated themselves to perform certain duties, but they walked away without so much as an explanation. Don't the fans who pay these people DESERVE respect? Maybe the artist is under the impression that because they seemingly walk on water, they can't be bothered to let the people in on their actual lives; just the fake veil they put up, the plastic masks they wear for the camera.  (and they wonder why their numbers drop)

    Say an artist is accepting money, say five dollars ($5.00) a month from anyone and everyone. They receive $50,000.00 a month because they have a great fan base. Are they giving back $50,000.00 in return through both doing what they said they were going to do, and producing music, paintings, sculptings, writing, whatever it is that they promised they would do for the sub money?  You'd think those 10,000 people paying in their $5.00 a month would demand it, but I think what happens is each of them thinks they only give $5.00 so there's no way the guy/gal is making a true living; but there they are, skydiving in Dubai, hang gliding in Colorado, and sailing off the shores of Hawaii and Peru, on YOUR $5.00 folks. Where is the accountability? Where is the product for payment? Do they give you a "thank you" on the next album? "To all of my Patreon fans who gave so I didn't have to actually work, I really want to say a big thanks, and don't forget, you can give more if you want to!"    No, I'm afraid my Daddy raised me a bit more ethical than that.  (I wonder if they actually pay the correct taxes? The tax people should look into this! We have to pay our taxes, don't we? They should too!)

    I mean yeah, hats off to you! It's a great gig if you can get people to do it. There are lots of people who for $5.00 a month think that they can be your best friend I suppose. Maybe they receive a bot-generated email that's been personalized and they truly think the artist is writing to them; that they give a damn about their lives. I wish they did. I wish anyone and everyone who asked for help would receive it. I wish everyone and anyone who gave freely felt that they received exactly what they expected to receive. If you're not expecting the artist to do more than eat ice cream and watch box sets while paying his or her bills with your $$, then that's what you paid for. I personally would want a bit more in return. I'd want them to acknowledge the gift(s) and practice what they preach; if they are going to be away and/or unable to attend the zoom meetings, or even keep in touch for a while, they need to say so; not leave their fans in the lurch. I think that's what I find most appalling about this one-way ticket of support.  Accountability! Communication is key! If you don't intend to keep your word, don't give it. 

    Would I love for 10,000 folks to pay me monthly so I could stay home and write the next great novel? Maybe, but I can tell you this, I wouldn't drag it out. I wouldn't lie and make them think they were getting updates and private insight if I didn't actually do what I said. I mean what I say, and I couldn't feel right about going even a week without some sort of communication with those who cared enough to give to me and to my project. It would literally mean the world to me to think that others shared in my passion enough to support me. Why would I let them hang for months on end without so much as a "boo"?  How are people supposed to know what to expect?  No, I can't endorse that. I'll wait for the LP and buy it if I like it. Crowdsourcing wasn't meant to be a sham, but it's certainly turned out to be a slide-easy for too many vloggers and too many YouTube sensations! Maybe it's just my opinion, but it is in fact, my opinion. I can't be the only one not paying someone to do something. I bet there are a whole lot of us!

Photo Credit: Medium.com

Center. Think. Be Aware.

 Earlier today I wrote a blog that came straight from my heart and onto the internet! I have since deleted it because it was a bit rushed and I didn't say what I really should have said. I said what I wanted to say. I said what I think needed to be said, but I didn't fully express myself and say what I should have said. There is a difference. Oh, I'm not upset with myself for calling the man a wanker, no, he's most assuredly a wanker, indeed!  I think what I should have said is, when people, (mostly wankers) publish facts about themselves, and/or they DON'T publish things when they should, people are going to be curious and some of those people, (people with knowledge, working brain cells, and curiosity) are going to dig a little bit. We're going to shovel up what we can in order to find out all the hidden "treasure" and remember, one man's trash is in fact another man's treasure. I have a new shovel today. Let's dig, shall we?

    I woke, minding my own business, but that changed rapidly the second I opened my email and found a toxic and snide little message from a person, the wanker, who seemingly has little else to do than to accuse me of spreading rumors (or rumours, if I'm properly quoting the email).  My response to him was to say I was not going about spreading muck, I was in fact writing to others asking for prayer and support for him during a time he was absent from writing on the internet; a full 12-14 weeks absent, mind you, not a day or two.  So yes, I will absolutely admit it, after a long stint of seeing more of nothing being posted about his well-being, as we all knew he was going through a bit of a crisis, I asked several people in the religious and spiritual communities to pray for him and his safety as well as his protection.  Sue me. I'm the biggest bitch out there I suppose. I dared ask for prayer! If the man had taken 1 minute to write a quick note on his website(s) to say he'd be out for a while, he was going through some private issues, then there would have been NO action whatsoever from me. I would have, as we all would have been, in the know, that he was having a private moment. We all get that, but when someone disappears or isn't available, there are reasons to worry and ask. REASONS to ask for prayer.

    Seems I have embarrassed the man. Well, OK, I will even admit to that, but the email he sent went on to say I was spreading rumors about his life, his lifestyle, his choices, etc. Was I? Is it rumor or innuendo if the evidence is there, right in front of your face through posts that both he and other men have posted about their relationship(s)? Is that rumor? I think that's called public awareness, and remember folks, the WORLD-WIDE WEB is, in fact, worldwide. Everyone sees it. You can't pick and choose who sees it; best to know your buddies have your back when maybe you don't post, but they did! Oops! That was your duck face I saw "Kissy-Kissy" Edin-Bae? Was it not?  I merely asked questions. I wasn't the one slumping around town on the arm of a known - - well, you know.  Rumors are statements, not questions. There is a LEGAL difference, just like there is a difference between an E shape and an A flat. I know the law; not music. I leave that up to the professionals. (Hint: the musicians should leave the law up to the professionals too)  The first set of witnesses would be enough to send the case packing! No one is going to lie for anyone under oath if they have a brain!

    The email he sent me was rough of course, but I could understand his frustrations. He asked me not to write again, so I wrote to say I wouldn't write. You don't just not write, then the man wouldn't know that I got the message. I wanted him to know he wasn't really worth much more of my time. I mean, I will continue to pray, but I don't need to be arsed with his nonsense. What does he do? Well, in true form, he writes me back! He just hadn't finished all he wanted to say, I guess. I think maybe we should both just sit down with each other or maybe put on some soft boxing gloves and just have it out FFS!  I mean, I think he may like that, and I know I sure as hell would.  At least now, today, when I dance with Bob the boxing dummy I'll have a new face in my mind! Bam! Bam!

    He basically told me to go to therapy; apparently, that's what's been helping him through the last 20 years. I guess the first three times didn't stick, but I'm hoping this last time may have done the trick. I choose to air my worries with Christ, not someone who has been a human as long as I have been. I don't need someone telling me to center, breathe, think about my actions, write down my thoughts, and discuss my feelings. Hell, that's what this blog is for, right? Why spend $38,000.00 that I don't have, or in some other people's cases, $38,000.00 that other people may or may not have, in order to know what I should do when my feelings are hurt. What I should do is address it. I should acknowledge it. I should evaluate it, and determine if I had a contributory factor or if the entire thing was a nothing-burger because the other party, the other person, wasn't being malicious, they weren't being slanderous, they weren't trying to defame me (as if I had fame to begin with) what they may have been doing is trying to (albeit in their way) help me. Gosh darn, look, I just saved myself $38,000.00 and months and weeks of group therapy!

    Listen, I'm not saying that people aren't naturally depressed. Some are. I'm not saying that people don't have anxiety or a level of anxiety. We'd be fearless and wreckless if we didn't respect some of the boundaries and know our own limits, but we all need to get outside of those comfort zones too! We can't allow our own souls to be crushed by the demons that could be, would be, or might be out there trying to drag us down. As Believers, we are given CHRIST and He died for that reason, for our salvation, for our healthy minds, bodies, and souls. We have an anchor in Him and if we don't use that anchor well, then maybe when we drift off to the sea we shouldn't question why that is! Maybe, just maybe, we can figure out that the only way to stop the madness is to put in the greatest STOP LOSS ever!  Jesus!  He really (really, no really) is the answer to literally every burdensome question we have. Oh, and here's a hint "friend", He can help you get rid of me too.  Just follow Him, and do what He wants you to do; that way I don't have to pray that hard anymore. To be honest, you're quite a pain in my ass.  I can't stop praying for you until HE releases me, not you. You're in more trouble now than you were before, so yeah, there will be more prayers going up, but that doesn't mean you need to talk to me about it. Talk to Him!

    Public record is public record.  You can go to www.scotlandspeople.gov.uk to see the records. They are there. Just like you can look up public records in my home town too. My divorce is a woot of a long record. If you do decide to dig your shovel into it bring a few extra hands, it's a long long ugly unruly case. More dirt than you can imagine! More miracles too.  Just so you know, when you find yourself knee-deep in quicksand, remember who made the quicksand. Ask for help.  While you're at the public record sites, investigate all the names (let me say that again, all of the names) you are associated with. You may find the dates don't add up the way you thought they would. Oh no, there's no mistake, those are the real dates. That is the real story. You were just too young to be told. You're a big boy now.  If you want to dig and threaten me with legal action, know that I too have a shovel, and a keyboard. NOTHING is done in the dark that can't be shone in the light. The photos of others are still important and neither you nor I have dominion over what others post; do we?  

    Life isn't fair. No one on this green Earth ever said life would be fair for you, for me, for any of us. We have choices, we make choices. We live with, deal with, cover-up, and lie all the time to protect our choices.  Maybe we shouldn't do that. We get awfully embarrassed about the choices we made/make then we start to spiral out of control and blame others for bringing those things to the light even when, even if, the others were not trying to embarrass, but truly trying to unwrap the truth so she/he could be closer, pray more accurately, and bring about a very needed peace for someone she/he may have ONCE admired. Let me say that again too, ONCE admired.  Ugly on the inside is so much more unattractive than on the outside. What could be considered beautiful to see or hear may in soul be decaying rapidly. I pray that isn't the case, but my prayers have been grossly reshaped today and I will only do the minimum at this point; because I won't stop pleasing God, He is my King. I don't have another king; I don't worship at the feet of those who could pay my way into a tea room.  I make or buy my own, thank you.

    Meditation is a good thing. We need that. I should have thought twice before hitting the publish button on the one blog I produced this morning, but it needed to be said, and I know the mark was hit. That's another thing about the World Wide Web, there are really cool apps to let me know who has read my blogs. Oops, maybe you didn't know that. Oh well, now you do.  We are all in the same fish bowl. We are all under the same bright lights. Maybe we think we can hide our spots behind a water-waving seaweed plant now and again, but really, we can't. Even the Sun will shine and show us all our folly.  Perhaps the best thing to do is to center, to think, to be aware of the actions before we made/make them. Maybe we should all remind Satan of his future when he tries to remind us of our past or present. We don't have to live with anxiety or depression; let it go to Hell where it belongs. We can have a joyful and meaningful today and tomorrow, because we KNOW who holds the future, and "Because HE lives, I can face tomorrow".  It's not just a line from a song, it is reality.  When Jesus is King, "everything glows" a little brighter....friend.

    

Photo Credit: Hubpages.com

    

Carol Ann Rogers. 1999

 The public record is in fact public. Stop before you reach the edge.  Know your limits. Do not test the bear. Do not disturb the sleeping dog. I'd say "don't pull on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger and you don't mess around with Slim", but you're not necessarily going to understand the innuendo.  

Be who and what God wants of you, and stop lying. We can read the tea leaves, as it were. Photos not only cast a shadow, but they also shine the light, and a LACK of information doesn't mean there is nothing to glean, it means you are not willing to produce the evidence. It doesn't mean the evidence isn't there. 

STOP before you read what you don't want to read. Strum and pluck, you do that well. 

Photo Credit: historic-uk.com

Oh, the Possibilities.

 I mentioned to my boss this morning that the company would be better served both politically and in market ability if they hired more women for the trading floor, and as sales representatives; especially in the global markets.  His look was incredible. I wish I could have bottled his expression and sold it online.  Maybe if I could have duplicated his expression, mass-produced it then possibly sold it as a commodity or even a security, that would have been even better!  He sort of halfway laughed, but you could tell in the middle of the first slight movement of his upper lip, he realized how valuable the statement was.  He came back around with an affirmative nod which was followed by a question. He asked me if I would be interested in setting that up or if I was just spitballing.  I smiled right back at him and let him know that Scotland was a point of interest; it may be a great place to start with our eye on global expansion. He walked away slowly, turned, and stated that I may be onto something. I told him I wanted first dibs on Scotland, I wasn't much into London, Dubai, or any other world stage. 

    To say I'm new at the firm would be a gross understatement. I literally started there less than a month ago.  I have, however, been targeted for the sales and trading floor(s) because I showed initial interest when I was first interviewed for a support position. I turned down another position at another firm so that I could grow with the one I am with. I will keep my place for now. I will learn my current role, and I'll take any and all necessary measures to keep up with the growth and progress of the new seed I planted firmly inside the brain of the one person who can make it actually happen.  

    Our trading floor, and the trading floors of so many investment firms, have an overload of masculine representation; to put it bluntly. There is a lack of female counterparts for a few reasons, the first of which is the tradition of only hiring assertive, often overly confident personalities for the job. Not all sure-footedness comes with a male soul. Some of us stand-for-what-we-believe-will-be-best in the way of customer service, sales, and revenue growth comes from the sweeter of the sexes. We women can be quite persuasive when we need to be. Our base abilities to garner and nurture relationships are well renowned! Women have been selling, out-selling, and dominating many of the markets out in the big bad world; trading shouldn't be as far in arrears as they have been!  Times are changing! 

    I trade for myself now, and I'll be trained to trade for others later. I'm thinking I will couple that skillset with a business development model that I've used in the past, to not only hone in on a global market (Scotland) as a pilot group, but I'll end up either managing the global outreach program or at least be a part of establishing it. I'm seriously not interested in globe-hopping; I will be satisfied with keeping myself occupied and preoccupied in the land of Heather. There is/are plenty of fish to be found for what we will need, and it may be that another person may be more interested in continuing the growth abroad. We have offices now in about six or seven American cities; we need Canada, we need London; maybe Dublin too. We need the Virgin Islands for sure, but I think we need Scotland first; even if it is just more or less for personal reasons.  We won't go fully global as the trust level of many world markets are/is not what it would need to be in order to both invest in the build and sustain the relationship(s). We can trust Scotland! 

    It won't happen today or tomorrow, so I don't have to worry too much about finding myself a place to live.  When I do move it will likely be into the City Centre so I can have access to as many strong offices as possible; there are three major banks in Scotland, as well as the Bank of England (a national bank in Scotland) but there are over 2000 financial institutions and many of them would be considered our type of client. I'm sure I could keep myself busy for a year or two on the relations side and trickle in the trades as they come; such possibilities!! I'm in think mode at this point. I'll learn what I need to learn, do what I need to do, go where I need to go and achieve all that I can. Good plan!

OK, speaking of plans, I need to go make dinner!  Smothered chicken, or Marry Me Chicken, as it's often called. Woot!

    

Photo Credit: stv.tv