Ardyth DeBruyn's Blog, page 8

From the Dreaded One’s Desk: Evil Consequences of the Writing Life

“What is this?” roared the Most Evil Dreaded one, poking the sloppy gray substance in her bowl.  ”I asked for breakfast, not the latest kitchen mold experiment.”

“Bran-wonder Surprise,” the serving minion said with a smirk.

“I didn’t ask for this!”

“Eh, hem.”  The Second-in-command Minion (SICM for short) marched into the room.  ”I’m afraid there’s been a change of menu, my Dread Lord.  As you were over twenty pounds overweight on your physical exam the other day, we’re instituting evil weight loss measures.”

“What?”  The Dreaded One swiped the Bran-wonder Surprise off the desk with a swipe of the back of her hand.  The serving minion’s swift jump backwards saved him from getting hit, but it slopped all over the SICM.

With a grunt, the SICM wiped bran cereal off his face.  ”I meant you must lose weight, Your Dreadfulness,” muttered the SICM.  ”Your doctor says–”

“Time to go gut the doctor.”  The Dreaded One growled, propping her feet up on her desk.  ”I need to get some writing done.  Hurry up with this nonsense and go remove that doctor.”

“You already did that, Your Awfulness… several times.”  The SICM sighed.  ”Listen, you can’t just keep gutting doctors, it won’t solve the problem.  If you want to succeed in world domination, you need to be in good health.  That means less ice cream, more whole grains and living a more active lifestyle.”

“My muse can’t function without ice cream.”

“I’m afraid it’ll have to learn to make do, Evil One.  Ice cream will now be reserved for birthday parties only.  The kitchen will be setting up a nutritious new diet that will help feel your muse without layering on the pounds.”

“Somehow I’m skeptical.”  The Dreaded One gave the smirking serving minion a glare as he picked up the empty cereal bowl and beat a quick retreat.

“Most importantly, Evil One, you need to live a more active lifestyle, more action, less sitting.”  The minion gestured at the desk and computer with his spear.

“Fiiiiine,” the Most Dreaded One snarled.  ”I’ll shelve my current plans and write an action scene today.  Perhaps a battle or two.”

The SICM sighed. “Um, that’s not exactly what I meant, Your Awfulness.”

“Oh, I see.  Right.”  The Dreaded One rubbed her face with a hand.  ”Active, not action.  Well, I’ll highlight all my be verbs and work on eliminating boring ones like look and seen as well.  It’ll be a hassle but considering my health is at stake, it’ll be worth it.

“No, no.”  The SICM flushed and held up a claw. “You misunderstand.  You need to  exercise.”

“Well why didn’t you just say so!”  Snarling the Dreaded One swung her feet down from the desk, and pulled open the drawer to yank out several books. “I’ve got loads of exercises I can do.  On voice, characterization, description, even plot. I’ll just make sure I slip in what… 40 minutes of exercises three days a week and–”

“Em, excuse me.”  The SICM grabbed the writing exercise book off the table.  ”I meant physical exercise.  As in: MOVING your body.”

“What?” The Dreaded One gave him a blank stare.

“Like a sport.”

“Writing is a sport.”

“An active sport.”

“I told you, I can add active verbs and more battles.”

“Listen!”  The SICM slammed his spear down on top of the desk, sending papers everywhere.  ”You need to do something that evelvates your heartrate, moves your muscles, and challenges your body physically in order to lose weight. Nothing involving  writing counts.”

The Dreaded One narrowed her eyes at the SICM, going deathly still, but he held her gaze.

“Is that so?”

“Yes.”  The SICM bared his fangs.

The serving minion had taken this moment to return with a plate of boiled broccoli as a breakfast alternative.  It sniggered as it shoved it down on the desk.  The Dreaded One glanced at the green mush, then at the minion’s gloating expression.  A twitch of her tail was the only warning.  The serving minion tried to spring back, but was too slow.  The Dreaded One grabbed him by the throat, hauling him up.

“Um… just what do you think–” The SICM was cut off as Dreaded One grabbed him by the shirt with her other hand, lifting him off his feet and making him drop his spear with a clatter.  ”What are you doing?”

“Urrrgl.” The serving minion struggled scream but couldn’t manage it with the Dreaded One’s grip on his neck.

“I’ve picked a form of non-writing exercise,” snarled the Dreaded One, sweeping both minions over towards the window.

“Dare I ask what, Your Awfulness?”

“Weight lifting.”  The Dreaded One hurled him out the window.  ”With a mind towards shot put!” she shouted before throwing the serving minion after him.

Turning around and wiping her hands off on her pants, ignoring their screams all the way down to the distant thud as they hit the ground, the Dreaded One looked around for the nearest minion cowering near the door.  ”You!  You’re my new SICM.”  She tossed the plate of broccoli at him, and he ducked, letting green goop and ceramic shards splatter across the pillar by the door.  ”Get that cleaned up, and bring up a big bowl of ice cream.  I’ve got an  active writing exercise to write.”

This Month in Sylvania

Unnatural Disaster Sets Back Housing

Over the summer crash cleaning for visitors resulted in a massive dumping of boxes in Sylvania.  The resulting clog set back housing development and building as well as the furnishing of existing apparents.  ”We’re severly disapointed,” Mayor Oak Racoon said.  ”We’re hoping for a recovery this month and a steady increase in progress.  Shelving investigations are in the works for future homes.”

While one my aunts is keeping an eye out for cheap shelves at the Goodwill Outlet store, not all Sylvanian residents are as hopeful as the major.  ”The wind from the open window blew over our cardboard box home,” complained Mrs. Mouse.  ”Now our things are scattered all over the floor and the junk pile and no one has cleaned them up.”  ”Honest, we’re still homeless and a lot of folks are camping in the junk pile with us,” said Mr. Red Panda.  ”Not enough has been done to make even temporary homes for us.”

Prior to the unnatural disaster and the resulting unreachable open window incident, a new shelf was installed on the west side of town. It’s four roomy shelves were turned into apartments for the Simba Bear family, the Brown Bear family, the Beaver family, and the Koala family.  The top shelf provided room for a bakery and the small crate home of the Mole Family.

Acorn Bakery First Shop to Open

Sylvania’s first store opened its doors last month, Acorn Bakery, run by Mr. and Mrs. Brown Rabbit.  Cookies, danishes, and cupcakes lined the windows of the small shop, purchased over the summer at Goodwill for 2.99.  While not technically Sylvanian but another off-brand, the small building fits remarkably well with the Calico Critter General Store, which is still under reconstruction due to damage while in storage.  The General store hopes to be able to open this coming month.

“We’re thrilled to have this opportunity,” gushed Mrs. Brown Rabbit.  ”For us this bakery is a dream come true.”  The in-built oven on the wall of the bakery meant the Brown Rabbits could get directly down to business.  ”If Acorn Bakery succeeds, this means big things for us,” said Mr. Brown Rabbit.  ”I’d like to follow this up with getting first names, a house, and eventually baby rabbits for our family.  We’ve lots of wonderful nieces and nephews, but we’d like to establish ourselves as a full family in Sylvania.”

Mr. Salty Dog was the bakery’s first customer, along with the German Shepard twins.  ”Who can resist a couple of fresh donuts when buying the week bread? We’re definitely coming back here!” said Mr. Dog.

Brown Bears Receive New Bathroom Set

Purchased at the miniature shop in Lincoln City, a brand new bathroom set was given to the Brown Bear family.  The set includes a tub, toilet, and sink.  The set looked to be about the right size for the Sylvanians but ended up being a bit large, and so was put in the Brown Bear’s apartment as they are some of the larger residents of Sylvania.

“Finally a tub I can fit in comfortably,” Mr. Brown Bear remarked.  ”It doesn’t matter to us if we need a stool for the children to use the sink or the toilet, for us this is wonderful news.”

Not everyone in Sylvania, however, is so pleased.  ”There are children on the streets and people living in the junk piles, and we’re buying  bathroom sets?” Grandma Gray Bear complained.  ”I think housing should be our priority,” agreed junk pile resident Just Married Brown Rabbit.

“This was a vacation purchase,” insisted Mr. Koala, Sylvanian accountant.  ”New shelving is being looked into as we speak, as well as disaster relief.  This was purchased earlier in the summer and only just opened now that the junk pile has been reduced enough to admit it.”

Not all residents are buying the official claim line.  ”It’s all very well to claim it was in a previous budget, but there’s definitely corruption in the Sylvanian government,” Mrs. Maple Town Raccoon said.  ”Notice, the Koala’s have a nice brand new apartment while we’re still homeless.”

New Erasable School Lunches

School opened on time with the town square getting cleared of both junk and Occupy protesters to make room for the school building (which was blown over in the window incident).  But what has students all excited was not the mayor’s controversial strategy for the building, but the new school lunch eraser set recently purchased at Wal-mart.

“The french fries are nearly as long as my ears!” an excited Rusty Brown Rabbit told reporters.  ”I love the Cola-cola,” his friend Walnut Raccoon said. “I’ll be first at school every day just so I can snag it.”  ”Its great to have so many choices,” said Thuy Gray Rabbit.  ”If I don’t feel like the burger, I can always get the pizza or the hot dog for  change.”

Not everyone is so enthusiastic as the Maple Town School students.  ”These are fatty foods and far too large of portions for growing students!” objected Mrs. Honey Bear.  ”My children will bring more reasonable lunches from home.”  ”Wal-mart will the be the ruination of Sylvania,” complained Mr. Frog, local of the General store.  ”Last month we got in a crate of cabbages, a much more appropriate menu for growing young Sylvanians.  Catering to big business like this, letting them get inside our schools, is not a good idea.”

It is unknown what Calico Critters School for the younger grades is serving for lunches.  Mrs. Maple Town Raccon, the school teacher of Maple Town School, and Mr. Owl of Calico Critter School both declined to comment.

First Acorns of the Season Officially In

Mr. Squirrel was pleased to announce that the first acorns of the season are being harvested.  ”We’ve got them in all sizes, shapes, and colors so come on out to the town square and take a look.”  The whole squirrel family went acorn collecting last weekend and brought home quite the tasty assortment.

“Acorn caps are also available if you want to make your own cups and bowls,” Mr. Squirrel explained.  ”Later in the season we’re hoping to sell pre-made ones as well, but these have just come in.”  Get them while supplies last!

Columbia River Gorge: Starvation Creek

This holiday weekend has been all about hiking. My parents visited and we went hiking to Wahclella Falls and Elowah Falls, both rather stunning in dramatically different ways.  I didn’t write, but hiking among all that beauty did knock loose some ideas.  I’ve been stuck on the YA book for a while, and while I didn’t get unstuck on Saturday, I did get a flood of great ideas for the unfinished Nano 2011 book that I’ve let rest so far this year.

I was raring to write, naturally, and snuck some time in Sunday afternoon after my parents left, but I also didn’t want to miss the Monday holiday with Ben, so decided the rest of the ideas could wait and I’d go hiking again.  While looking at places to hike to with my parents, we’d debated something called “Hole-in-the-wall Falls” supposedly an oddity created by the need to divert a stream for building the highway.  A tunnel was bored through the rock of one of the points along the gorge to let it drain.  We made a lot of jokes that it might turn out to be just a pipe coming out of the rock with water and the tackiest waterfall in the gorge, and didn’t get around to it in favor of the others.

I was still curious though, so Ben and I went on Monday.  The trail is located at Starvation Creek, a site I was sure had to do with dying pioneers, but instead is named after a marooned train that hit a snow drift there in the 1910s where the passengers were stuck there for three week.  Despite the name, no one actually starved, they were just quite hungry (food was skied in from Hood River eventually).  To get to Hole-in-the-Wall Falls, you have to hike a trail that goes back west along 84 for about half a mile.  Its noisy since you’re near the cars, but it finally does go back into the woods.

Hole-in-the-wall Falls is surprisingly beautiful.  Perhaps its techincally man-made, but from the ground the only sign of that is the fact it comes out of the middle of the rock.  Otherwise its graceful and natural looking.  If you climb the rocks off the trail a bit, you can get a view of the tunnel, but overall quite worth it (although not as stunning as Wahclella and Elowah).

Even better, there were a couple of other small waterfalls along the trail.  So despite being near 84 we felt the whole thing was a great success.  After Hole-in-the-wall we keep going, and some other people on the trail suggest we go up just a short ways on the Mount Defiance trail for yet another small waterfall.  Rather than go back down though and walk back along 84, we decided to try to make a loop by taking the Starvation Ridge trail.  

This gave us some stunning views of Wind Mountain and Dog Mountain across the Columbia.  In college I worked at a girl scout camp between the two of them so I’m familiar with them both.  It’s a lovely section of river and slightly different than the one I’m used to at Mitchell Point or Moiser tunnels.  We also saw what I think was a couple of ospreys… they certainly weren’t turkey vultures anyway.  It makes me wish they’d get around to reintroducing the California Condor to the gorge, yet another wonderful bird that used to be native here.

While the views were great, I must say the trail was often steep and harrowing.  There were a couple rather scary points.  Most people seemed to be walking it the other direction, and on the descent we found out why, it’s easier to go steeply up than down.  It seemed a toss up though which way was better or worse to me though, since the scariest point of the trail (along a sheer drop off) I was relieved to be going up on instead of down.  Not one to bring young children on for sure.

Probably the biggest surprise though was Starvation Creek Falls itself right by the picnic area. It’s the best roadside picnic waterfall I’ve yet seen, even better than Wahkeena I think if you can get the table right under the waterfall.  Even better, there’s a section of mile long section of the Historic Columbia River Highway Trail going East to Viento State Park.  Since that comes out round trip to about what my usually hike on the highway trail in Hood River is, I tried it out this morning, parking at Viento and walking to Starvation Creek.

Its a little shorter, and you have to start out near 84 again, with traffic a bit noise, but the fact that you end with a reward of a gorgeous waterfall, as well as a couple of great view of the river, I think I’m going to favor this one as my daily walk until the weather gets nasty.  And, during my walks ideas for the middle grade novel are still boiling away.

Oh, and after all that, when I got home, this big boy was climbing the side of my glass sliding door.  Isn’t he cool?

 

“A Recipe for Disaster” Cover Preview

Well, I didn’t post last week because I was on vacation at the Oregon Coast with family.  I had a fantastic time, but caught a cold, which has slowed me down this week.  However, my artist has just finished my cover for my new book, and I’m really excited about it, so here it is!

We wanted to catch an “eww” expression on Cal’s face while mixing up the disaster.  I think that does that perfectly.  We also wanted something that would be connected to “A School for Villains” but not so similar that it would get mistaken for the sequel.  This novel is in the same “world” (or rather multiverse in this case since its a multi-dimensional world) as the Dark Lord Academy books, but is a completely separate cast of characters.

I can’t afford inside art as of yet, but I’m hoping that if the book does well I can add chapter headings or a couple of interiors eventually.  I’m planning to put this out in both print and e-book format, although it’ll be a shorter, chapter book, rather than a full length middle grade novel.

I’m currently in revisions in my group Critique Circle, after which I have to find an editor I can afford (my wonderful editor from my last book appears to have moved on and is no longer editing indie books).  I’m hoping for a fall release date in October or November and will keep that updated.  It’ll depend on how revisions and edits go.

More Gorgeness: Mosier and Rowena

This last weekend we had my in-laws up for a visit and we went hiking in the gorge, which put novel revisions on hold, but I had a fabulous time.  We took some nice pictures of the other side of the Historic Columbia Highway State Trail.  This is the Mosier twin tunnels I mentioned when showing pictures of my usual side of the 5 mile trail (which yes, I walked again today like I always do).  The Mosier side is steeper to start out with, but more open, offering nice vistas of the gorge.  Plus, it ends in the tunnels.

Built I think in the 1920s, these tunnels used to take cars, but are so narrow I can’t imagine wanting to drive even down the middle of them in a modern car.  This area is prone to landslides and falling rocks as well, which was why they discontinued this as a one lane section of highway eventually.  What I find the most interesting about the tunnels though, is that they have windows cut into them on the north side so you can look out over the gorge.

Through one of these is someone’s private island on the Columbia.  Now, I know living on a private island would be in many ways, highly inconvenient, but every time I go here, I gaze longingly at that little island.  It looks like such a fun place to live!  You can’t really see the house because they hid it behind the trees right next to the dock, so that it’s mostly facing away from I-84 (the freeway) and towards the Washington side, but it looks like a full house, not just a summer cottage.  Not that I don’t truly live already in one of the most beautiful places in the world, but still, I can dream.

To protect hikers and bikers from the falling rocks, below/past the tunnels is a causeway.  This makes the most dangerous part of walking this not falling rocks, but speeding bicycles.  They really get zooming through both the tunnels and the causeway.  when coming out from the windows in the tunnels I adhere to road rules and carefully look both ways before resuming walking on the right side of the road.  Still, I always find it well worth it.

After Mosier, the Historic Columbia River Highway is open again to cars all the way to The Dalles.  Usually we only take it Rowena, so see the outlook there and then get back on the freeway.  This offers next to Crown Point, some of the most spectacular high views of the gorge.  Since we’re now solidly in the rain shadow of the Cascades by now, the mountains are more bare and rugged, but still stunning and far more green than most people tend to think of them.  I’m not sure where we hit the desert properly, since it’s after The Dalles and I haven’t gone exploring that far yet, although will eventually.

At least this outlook is right off the highway, so if you’re tired you don’t have to walk far to enjoy it.  There’s also here a trail that goes up a nearby bluff with a wonderful sign warning to watch out for poison oak, rattlesnakes, and ticks, but I’ve mostly not walked up it because it tends to be hot this time of year, not for the warnings.  I’ve met a couple people who’ve walked it and recommend it and considering the cougar warning (and linx sighting) at my usual walk in Corvallis, I figure I can handle a rattlesnake warning.  But so far, I’ve only taken the lower trail, that goes out on the flat part in this picture looking west, which has some marshy lakes on top of the cliffs.

So, despite how my great grandmother always used to say the gorge was only pretty west of Hood River, I have to disagree.  Some of what lies between The Dalles and Hood River is now some of my favorite places and stunningly beautiful.  Not to mention the fresh apricots we went u-picking at a farm along the highway… truly delicious.  I’m going to have to go back and get a few more pounds of them before their season is over.

Interview: Nayu’s Reading Corner

Today I want to welcome Nayuleska, author of “Nayu’s Reading Corner” one of my favorite review blogs! 

Tell us about your blog, Nayu.  What sort of things do you like to review? Everything! Well, nearly everything. I review predominantly children’s books, from 0 years to Young Adult. I went through a phase of mostly reviewing Young Adult, but I’ve switched back to younger children’s books as they are a little less intense. They still deal with all emotional issues in life, but there’s more happiness and hope.

I also review a few children’s non-fiction books, some paranormal romance, contemporary fiction and fantasy too. Depending on my mood I love school stories, stories of characters having a physical or mental issue which they have to overcome, stories of people discovering they have new powers, family orientated stories (often but not exclusive to dealing with death of a loved one, divorce, unemployment etc). Cute animal stories that make me go aww also feature on my list. Oh, I need to point out I’m prone to crying over books, and enjoy them when this happens.

 How did you end up in the business of book reviewing? It all started when I started reading book blogs. One reviewer – who is now an author too, Kimber An reviewed stories which I found enjoyable. I’d never have thought that I’d like paranormal romance, seeing as I’m not overly fond of romance, but I love the powers and obstacles that the protagonists have to overcome. I got in contact with Kimber An, (whose now suspended blog  Enduring Romance  I ended up being a reviewer on!) we got chatting. When saying how fortunate she was with all the interesting books she read, she said ‘give it a go’. So I did.

29th April 2009 I started my book review blog. I reviewed books from my own collection, and started requesting books from publishers. It took quite a bit of time and effort to discover who to contact in the publishers – these days the publicity department is more clearly signposted. I’d made requests each month, and very few would be fulfilled. I kept reviewing my own books, and the ones which I received. I loved it. I loved sharing my thoughts and feelings about books with the world. I still love doing that. Slowly my review requests were fulfilled.

Things sort of exploded in January when I held an online launch party for the debut novel of author Keren David - it was the year it snowed a lot, and since she couldn’t get out I wanted to make it fun for her. It was heaps of fun, gaining interest across the web including on Book Brunch (I got a small mention which I can no longer find the link to). It enabled me to network (although I didn’t look at it in that light at the time), forming links with lots of children’s publishers who I still review for today.

I now have the stacks of books I once dreamed of…which caused an avalanche of books the other week, as one bookshelf endured too much strain from being crammed with books!

I have to stress that getting complimentary books from publishers is a privilege. It isn’t a guarantee for a book reviewer, and it shouldn’t be the aim of a book blog. I started off reading my own books and library books – which I’d do more if I were to get zero review copies. Being a book reviewer is a responsibility. The more books I review, the more I prove my reliability in the publishing world.

Sometimes publicists now contact me if there’s a particular book they feel I’d enjoy. Occasionally it’s the authors themselves who contact me directly to review their books. My knowledge of the publishing world has increased, it’s one I wish to remain in. It’s friendly, fun, a little bit of hard work but totally enjoyable. My style of reviews change according to personal circumstances, the way I rate reviews has changed, and my love for books has grown more than I could imagine.

What’s your favorite part about reviewing books? Reading the books! Nothing beats the pleasure of curling up with a good book and being taken on a whirlwind ride in someone else’s life. Fictional or not, magical powers or just plain normal every single protagonist I read about has qualities that I find in myself, sometimes face issues similar to the ones I face. Each and every one of them has something to teach me, and I love sharing my observations with the world.

What other fun things will readers discover on your blog?

On my side menu I always have an image of the book I’m currently reading, along with the genre it’s for. Every now and then I hold competitions, sometimes chocolate (which ties in with the next question), sometimes a book from my bookshelf. Publishers sometimes offer books for competition, so these are always available to UK residents. A lot of my readers are outside the UK, so sometimes I give away my copy so they don’t have to miss out.

Every Monday I have a What Are You Reading Meme which GMR ofSatisfaction for Insatiable Readers review blog puts up for me (once I give her the book details). It lists the book I’ve read the previous week (which begins on a Saturday and ends on a Friday to give her time to post it).

When I have time (which I haven’t had for several months as ‘normal’ reviews come first and life’s been chaotic) I put up a Character Duel meme. In this meme I take the protagonists from the What Are You Reading meme, pair them up with another book character, why they would like each other and why they would clash. At the end I use a random number generator to pick one character from the list and say which anime character they are most similar to. This relates to my new venture of reviewing anime series/episodes.

I’m a huge anime fan, so it makes sense for me to review what I watch. I discovered the anime Spice and Wolf by using this picture for my twitter avatar. I didn’t know who Holo was, and an anonymous commenter let me know which anime it was from. I watched it and loved it! I use anime pictures a lot in my blog, especially for my Nayu’s News post which is where I chat about what’s been going on in my life. There are some pictures I use for specific occasions. This one is for when I’m having to rest up (I have permanent health issues), although sometimes I use these two when I’m reflecting about what I can do/what I will do. I like using these when I’m chatting about writing, this one when I’m discussing reading, and I try to

always use a fun pic summing up how I feel at the end of the Nayu’s Newspost like this one, or sometimes I find a reason to put in cute ones like this one.

Oh, I nearly forgot a big feature in my reviews: as well as the publishing information, I include a ‘themes’ section, which includes themes that appear in the book, with details on the content (violence, romance, how many tissues are needed because the book made me cry  etc) as the last items.

What’s your favorite kind of chocolate?  Most chocolate (so long as it’s not got alcohol in) I really enjoy Hotel Chocolat’s eton mess chocolates.

As you are also a writer, tell us about your own work!  What are you writing?

*laughs* I write a range of children’s book – not as wide as the ones I review. I’m currently working on a fairy series for 7 year olds with an unusual concept of what magic is. I’ve nearly finished editing the first book, which will then head to a couple of people who can tell me how to make it shine.

I’ve got a sci-fi adventure series with a Muslim girl as the protagonist which explores themes of human trafficking, fanatical groups (which aren’t what you expect), strange beings, families trying to kill each other for real and lots of other themes. I’ll be diving into that while I’m waiting to hear back from my beta readers on the fairy story.

I have other wips which are purely light hearted involving royalty, family ties, supernatural powers and magic, magical creatures, love, laughter – I’m not spilling details as like a lot of writers I’m paranoid Some are waiting to be finished, others need a complete overhaul because my writing style has changed and I’ve learned a lot over the past few years.

Thank you for dropping by and telling us all about your blog! Thank you for having me – it’s been fun chatting about my blog, my reading, and my writing!

The Writing Life: Thoughts on Genre

Since I’m between novel projects this month, I decided to check out the writing section of my new local library and finally get myself a card.  There wasn’t much, but stacking my few finds with the writing books I own, I decided now would be a good time to brush up on some basic research on the craft and process of writing, especially since we were driving to Portland to visit friends and my husband will often read to me in the car on long drives.

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Well, he sampled a few of the books, some which sounded better aloud than others.  One was obviously more like a workbook, asking questions about your idea/manuscript, and not easy to read in the car, another was written by some college professor who after fifteen minuets of reading chapter one, we still weren’t sure what the book was about.  There was a scholarly but promising book on voice in writing that we figured we’d probably come back to, but when he tried the first chapter of “How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy” by Orson Scott Card, there was a definite shift.

The other book might have been about voice, but Card’s book has voice.  Suddenly it felt like an old friend was telling us hilarious stories and tips about writing, and since the traffic was stressful we decided to stick with it.

Card’s book, published in 1990, starts off with talking about genre and publishing categories.  His thoughts are hardly current 22 years later, but are the still relevant?  We got into a fascinating debate over the state of publishing.  Card talks about how those publishing categories lock authors into a genre, and both publisher and readers expect more of that, not something completely different:

The result is that today, while readers are very free, passing easily from one community to another, the publishing categories clamp down like a vise on the authors themselves.  You must keep this in mind as you begin to publish.  Do you wish to be known forever as a science fiction or fantasy writer?

At first I was inclined to think that in indie publishing this has at least changed.  There’s no one to stop me publishing what I want, right?  Well, my husband had some interesting points.  Maybe no one can stop you, but your books are still shelved in different sections of the bookstore, even if it’s the online bookstore.  You basically are pitching yourself to a whole new audience all over again, as a fresh name.  Also, your “brand” on your website… which genre or category of reader are you trying to attract?

The marketing challenge of crossing genres is still there.  And in some respects, publishing category will become even more important.  It’s the major way on amazon to browse books, which means which categories you pick for it is crucial.  Which readers sample your book hangs on it.  Perhaps starting over as a new name is slightly easier, but the pressure to write another book just like your last one is still there.

 

 

From the Dreaded One’s Desk — What to Write Today

The Most Evil Dreaded Author sat down at her desk. It was a bright fresh morning, with a nice cool breeze coming in over the moat of green slime, a perfect day to get some writing done. With a sigh she settled back into her comfortable chair, stretched her claws and grinned evilly, showing off her many teeth.

“All right, what’s next up on my evil author agenda?”

“I am, your dreadfulness.” The snot-nosed novella crept forward.

The Evil Author narrowed her eyes at it. “Wait a minute… aren’t you rather large to be the novella? You’re supposed to be short.”

“But I had to add some extra character development,” the novella wiped its nose on its sleeve. “You need character development, right?

“That shouldn’t make you that much longer.” The Dreaded One frowned.

“Well… but we needed some ninjas… and pirates! They’re pretty cool. And a whole extra point of view character to fix the tensions, and then—”

“Arg! Enough. Fine, so you’re longer, I’ll write you later, what else do I have around here? Guards! Next idea!”

“But your evilness… if we could just add some gladiators as well—”

“Guards!” roared the Dreaded One, drowning out the novella’s bid for even more additions. The minions hurried in to drag it out.

The next novel idea was a rather handsome looking main character with a charming grin. “Greetings, Your Evilness.” The novel gave a sweeping bow.

“Wait, who are you? I don’t remember you.” The Dreaded One rubbed her face.

“I’m your romance novel idea.” The novel beamed. “I’m charming, romantic, and I have a great happy ending!”

“I’m an evil author. I don’t do romance. I don’t even remember creating you—hardly.” The Dreaded One blushed, as the idea was starting to look familiar, actually.

“But romance is selling so well! I’m timely! Plus,” the novel idea leaned forward and winked. “I have angels and demons, knights and wizards, I’m a classic in the making!”

“I suppose…” The Dreaded One could help thinking he looked like a rather handsome idea.

“Wait!” Villain student Aun from “A School for Villains” came dashing into the room, waving a burning sword. “Do you dare! You promised to write my novel next!”

The Dreaded One narrowed her eyes at him. “Your novel? I seem to recall Danny is the main character, not you.”

“Bah. The sequel centers around me though. I’m the key character, and I’m going to get the girl. We’re evil, savvy, and have romance, so this idiot can just go jump in the moat!” Aun waved the flaming sword at the romance novel.

“I’m far more attractive than you, villain brat,” the romance novel said, drawing his own sword. “And I’m a better swordsman than you are, because I am knight!”

The two closed in on each other. The Dreaded Author took a step back to avoid getting slashed as Aun accidentally set fire to her desk. “Minions!”

The minions however, were rather slow in arriving.

“Hey, author!” A small voice behind the Dreaded One made her whirl around, cloak flapping, claws out, but at first she saw no one, then she though to look down. A small furry and bright orange troll flashed fangs at her. “My novel has readers on your critique group begging for another chapter. You should write about me!”

“I’m not sure your book is publishable,” the Dreaded One said, giving him a long look.

“But I have readers! What, you only care about money? What about art?”

“I’m evil!”

“Which means you get to do whatever you want, right?” Kest beamed up, looking far too sickeningly cute to be the Evil Author’s creation. “Like write my novel.”

“No, she wants to write my novel.” The historical fiction novel, also wielding a sword swung in through the window. I’m in final revision stages! You need to get me out to agents!”

“The author is going to write about me,” Kest growled, clawing at the historical novel. However, at the same time, the romance novel’s sword crashed down on the burning desk on the Dreaded One’s other side, breaking it in two. The Dreaded One jumped back against the windows, but was forced to side step to avoid the historical novel’s return attack on the troll.

“Guards!” bellowed the Dreaded Author.

Minions poured in, but were forced to block sword blows from the attacking novels and Kest’s claws, turning the office into a battlefield. The Dreaded One decided it was time for a strategic retreat, and so slipped out the side door.

The Marketing Minion was waiting for her. “Oh, your dreadfulness! Excellent! I just wanted to talk to you about how you’re falling off your social media campaign, and that you need to submit to some more book review blogs. We’re letting marketing fall behind this summer.”

“I want to write!” roared the Dreaded One, starting to feel a bit trapped.

“Of course, of course, just after you complete this marketing packet!” The Marketing Minion waved a large packet of papers. The Dreaded One backed up again, and right into another minion dashing through the door.

“What now!” The Dreaded One sent the poor minion flying across the room with a heavy whack.

“D-dreaded one! We’re under attack! An army of new ideas is storming the castle!”

“I see.” The Dreaded One folded her arms so no one would notice her claws shaking. “Well, get out the boiling oil and take care of them. Go on, both of you.”

The Marketing Minion grimaced. “But if you could just tweet about what you’re doing right now first…”

“Now!” roared the Dreaded One, jumping up on the windowsill. It was time to escape. She swung up, digging her claws into the stones of the Dreaded Castle, up and over the top of the tower to the roof. There, hidden between a couple of towers was the Dreaded Glider.

From the room the Evil Author also got her first good look at the invasion. Hundreds of new ideas were storming the castle. She shook her head, definitely past time to get out. The fresh morning breeze tugged at the glider as she got it out.

“Muahahahahaha!” the Dreaded One roared over their heads as she took off. The wind carried her up and over, soaring high above the army of new ideas, across the countryside, before landing in the middle of a remote swamp.

“Perfect,” muttered the Dreaded One. “Now I might be able to get something done.”

A rustling made her whirl around. Ideas popped up in camouflage all around her in the swamp, grinning. “Write us, now!”

“Aaaaaaaah!” the Dreaded One’s scream was drowned out as the new ideas dragged her below the murky waters of the swamp.

Nanowrimo fireworks and Sylvanian Elephants

Well, despite the chaos, I hit my 50K goal for “A Recipe for Disaster” making it an official Camp Nanowrimo winner.  What does this mean for a novella whose target word count was 25-30K?  Frankly, that I have another actual novel on my hands.  Sigh.  This unexpected novel is also by far the most bizarre one I’ve written, but I’ve decided to just wait and see how revisions go and let it be however long or short it insists on.  Granted, I’m hoping to lose at least 10K cutting out the stream of consciousness notes and there’s a random scene from “The Claypit Banti” at the end of it to fill it out (hold out hope for a new chapters soon my Holy Worlds readers) but I still think this will end up pretty much a chapter book/middle grade novel.  I’m still hoping to release it this fall.

I’ve really enjoyed drafting again and this has been a positive experience, so I’m planning to do this all over again in August.  At the beginning of the year, I took part in the Taleist Self-publishing survey and have been enjoying reading the results.  One of the things I learned was statistically how much better Romance does selling on kindle than Fantasy as a genre.  Basically, on average Romance writers made well above average, while Fantasy writers well below.

Like every author, I have a variety of brand new story ideas of many different sorts, but this got me thinking.  I’m not the sort of person to pick a genre purely for the sake of sales, but picking which ideas to draft or edit first has always been a challenge for me.  If indie publishing and kindle books are favoring Romance stories, did I have any ideas that featured a romance sitting around?  Could I use this statistical information to inspire myself to finish sooner in hopes the book would sell particularly well?  Looking through my lists of previous ideas, I found four that I could categorize as YA Romance, and after rereading those and glancing over the notes and scenes I had for each, I picked one to draft for August Camp Nanowrimo and possibly future indie publication.

I’m hoping to report in next years survey all my success.

But until the month of August, I hope to manage to get some other stuff done first.  Like working on Sylvania.  The Sylvanian housing crisis is still a hard reality of life and all this summer Nanowrimo chaos hasn’t been good for the Sylvania.  All I’ve had time to do is stack cardboard boxes up on each other for temporary housing for a little over half the animals.  I did get a small green shelf second hand to make into a couple homes as well.

The trouble is the upstairs is short on shelving in general.  I have books stacked on the floor and stacks of boxes.  Fortunately, I got a couple of old bedrails to turn into shelves from my parents, but I need to buy cinder blocks to set them up before I can finally get the books off the floor.  I’m hoping after that I can perhaps manage something similar for the rest of Sylvania.

However, despite all logic to the contrary, I just couldn’t resist using my birthday money for this exceedingly cute elephant family.  As a child, my brother and had two elephant children we’d often pretend to be, Timbo and Blotto.  I think we might have gotten the idea of being elephant children from the Babar books.  So, letting other residents wait, I have excited settled the Elephant family into their new quarters.

The boy and girl are of course Timbo and Blotto, and the father’s green jacket makes him a perfect Babar, the mother Celeste (I think that’s the right name).  I haven’t named the three babies yet.  The youngest is just a flocked animal that isn’t a Sylvanian, but fits too nicely for me not to include him.

Also, because cats are awesome, here is Caramel who thinks she lives here.  She’s the landlord’s cat next door (no idea what they call her, but I name all cats I see regularly), but since their relatives used to live here, I think she used to be allowed indoors.  Every time I go out to work on the yard she thinks I’ve arrived to pet her.

Historic Columbia River Highway State Park

One of my friends has been poking me on sharing some photos of my daily walk.  I have several nearby options for walking, but I’ve definitely settled on my favorite: Senator Hatfield State Park, a stretch of what used to be the Historic Columbia River Highway between Hood River and Moiser.

This section of highway went through a double tunnel just south of Moiser, but due to frequent rock slides, was eventually closed.  Later the tunnels were re-enforced, netting set up to catch falling rocks, and the whole thing nicely repaved and turned into a hiking and biking trail.  As a highway it must have been horribly narrow (I shudder to think of driving a modern truck on it) but as a bicycle and foot path, its wonderfully wide.  Plus, never muddy or overly steep.  Considering all the rain it’s nice to know I won’t get covered in mud and slide all over the place while taking my daily walk.

The one downside is that such a nice trail like that is very popular.  I cut down on some of the foot traffic by starting at the less interesting Hood River end of the trail.  Since 5 miles is far too far for me to walk, I only walk 30 minutes out  and then 30 minutes back.  If you do this at the Moiser end you get spectacular views of the river, followed by the double tunnels, which is why most people who walk pick that end.  The Hood River end has an initial view of the river, but turns into thick woods rather quickly.  It’s nothing but trees for 25 minutes, until there’s a small waterfall and picnic table.  Another five minutes and I reach my turning point, where the woods gives way to a rather nice view of the river.

Here I stop and rest a few minutes, enjoying it, before turning around.

My friend wanted to know what animals and plants I see while walking…. well, being so popular, there isn’t much wildlife.  I have found some road kill, which boggles me a little… this is obviously a deer, so it’s far too large for a bike to have killed it.  All I can think of is a vulture carried it up from the freeway far below to finish it somewhere quietly.

Other sights include a mostly hidden crashed car remains at the bottom of the cliff… not sure if it’s been there for 30 or 40 years or however long its been since this was  a highway… or got there some other way.  I walk for the exercise, not the sights.  There are some great wild flowers along the opening of the trail though… a ton of poison oak along the wooded section… if it really is poison oak, but I’m pretty sure it is from my girl scout camp days.

At least I’m exercising.  Don’t forget, sitting at a computer all day can kill you.  We writers need to remember to move.