Susan Merrill's Blog, page 13

Controlling vs. Contributing to Your Child’s Future

I’ve come to the conclusion that every child, whether they admit it or not must be afraid of the dark. I can’t tell you how many times my kids would call me into their rooms and ask me to leave a night-light, or keep the door open so that the monsters in their closets wouldn’t come out.

As adults, most of us master the fear from the uncertainty we feel in the dark. But the uncertainty is still there, because when you cannot see there is a lack of control. You can’t protect yourself from tripp...

Why Spouses Don’t Listen and What You Can Do About It

Are you a good listener? If so, I applaud you. I have to admit that the skill of listening well does not come naturally to me. I’m a gifted talker! I enjoy sharing what’s on my heart and speaking what’s on my mind, which has its place, but listening? That can be hard for me.

We all know that communication is absolutely critical in the marriage relationship. Without effective communication, marriages can quickly tear apart. My very talkative husband and I have had to work on this a lot over th...

10 Ways to Flirt with Your Husband

Do you remember the first days of your relationship with your spouse? If you were like me, your heart would flutter at a meaningful glance, flirtatious comment, or in my case, the handsomest guy I had ever met knocking on my doorholding Belgian chocolate chip ice cream and asking if he could pray with me! After years of marriage, kids, demanding jobs, and hectic schedules, those fluttery feelings are distant memories. That doesn’t mean we can’t be romantic, it just means in our distraction we...

Does Your Child Shy Away from Competition?

What does your child LOVE to do?

Some kids love sports, some love the theatre, and some love making music. But each of these passions holds one thing in common: they all lead to competition. There are soccer championships, school play tryouts, and band performances. Sometimes, our children embrace competition—they love the thrill of healthy rivalry that pushes them to work harder. But other times, our children shy away from competition. Your child’s anxiety towards competing against others us...

Are You Sending Your Kids Out of Orbit?

When I was a new mom for the first time, one of the strangest things I had to figure out was what it meant to be the absolute center of another person’s universe. Babies and children and even teens rely on their parents for everything—their survival, emotional stability, first social cues, a sense of values, and so much more. Their world is a reflection of ours. That means that when we become parents, our emotional stability is more important than ever before. If we shift out of orbit, we rem...

I Vow to Take the Love Challenge

February is here! January was focused on setting goals for work, but now that that’s done, it’s time to set goals for thetruly important things in life – my family.

February is the month we celebrate love because of Valentine’s day, and we certainly are all about love in the Merrill home—Megan is getting married! I know a sweet sadness is waiting for me. There will besweetness in thecelebration of my oldest daughter, and sadness in her leaving home. With Megan’s wedding foremost on my mind,I’...

Looking Back, Moving Forward

I’m not often an introspective person. I would rather bedoingthan sitting around contemplating things. I’ve always been a girl of action! The downside of being quick to action is that I have been known to act and speak before I think. The upsideis that I am someone who looks ahead, takes leaps of faith, lives in the present, and anticipates the future.

But after making it through one of the craziest years of my life, I think a little bit of introspection could be good for me. In looking back,...

Gratitude Adjustment

“For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God. So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.”2 Corinthians 4:15-16

Today, I thank God for you.

I am filled with gratitude that you are seeking to be a better mom. I am humbled that you are reading these words. I am awed that you have found encouragement or hope or help from the lessons I have learned th...

12 Ways to Stay in Touch with Older Children

As my kids have gotten older, I’ve had to get used to less face-to-face time with them. College and career opportunitiesin different states mean that we don’t see each other around the family dinner table every night anymore. As a mom who craves meaningful communication with all of my children, the adjustment has been pretty hard for me at times. But over the last several years, I’ve learned 12 great ways to stay connected with your kids, no matter their age!

Know their schedule.

Know their s...

Celebrating the Holidays When it Hurts

I usually love Christmastime. I love the smell of a Douglas fir in the living room and holiday music on the radio. I love all the baking and cooking of Christmas and shopping for that one present that I know will bring a wide grin to my child.

But four years ago, we were facing a very painful Christmas. Six months earlier, my husband, Dan, and the amazing father to our seven children, had suffered a sudden heart attack and died. Life had been in a tailspin and we entered the Christmas season...