Rachel Held Evans's Blog, page 27

13 Things I Learned Upon Spilling A Chai Tea Latte on My Laptop and Thinking For 48-Hours I May Have Lost My Manuscript

 

1.    Don’t drink hot liquids next to a laptop.

2.    If saving a document to a Google Drive folder, make sure the folder is actually synching to Google Drive before entrusting the manuscript you’ve been working on for eight months to the Cloud.

3.    Tilt a dripping Macbook Air down and to your right to avoid introducing your Oregon Chai to your processor. (Maybe. This is not professional advice. Ask your Apple professional how best to hold a dripping laptop.) 

4.    But first, turn the laptop off. 

5.    Like, turn it off immediately. Don’t just stand there with your dripping laptop cussing and screaming like an idiot while the chai seeps through that marvelously “integrated” system and starts embracing it with its eager, sticky fingers. This will only upset your laptop, which will start wigging out right along with you. 

6.    Try not to do any of this two days before Christmas. It sorta dampens the mood. 

7.    Mac people: Always have a super-tiny pentalobe screwdriver on hand. Otherwise, you can’t open up your laptop to assess the damage and will instead be forced to watch your helpless Mac lie in a comatose state until the proper screwdriver arrives in the mail. 

8.    Upon realizing that you may have not only killed a new laptop but also lost nearly three months of work on your book and about 15,000 words exactly one month before your deadline, (but will not know for sure for another 48-hours), prepare to proceed through the five stages of grief: 1) During the Denial phase, you will find it perfectly reasonable to make a second cup of chai to drink. (Enjoy this phase. You will not feel this good for another 48 hours.) 2) During the Anger phase, you will hate Google, Apple, and Oregon Chai almost as much as you hate yourself. Almost. 3) The Bargaining stage is by far the longest, and will involve lengthy, tearful conversations with your husband about every conceivable scenario regarding the fate of that little Word document whose importance far outweighs the value of the laptop. You will learn new words—like “pentalobe screwdriver,” “SSD Reader,” and “liquid submersion indicator.” You will spend a lot of time on the floor. 4) Next, during the Depression stage, you will cancel all your pre-Christmas plans with friends and family in favor of hiding under the covers and questioning the existence of God. 5) Finally, you will reach Acceptance, at which point you summon the strength to call your mother and cry for an hour. But you will move through the world with a bit more stoicism, a bit more reverie. You will quote Ecclesiastes, like, a lot. 

9.    One can reach a point in which it makes sense to remind one's grandma on Christmas Eve that “the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless.” It’s biblical. (Ecclesiastes 3:19)

10.   Everyone should marry someone who knows how to extract data from an encrypted drive and who is willing to do so on Christmas Eve. This is important. 

11.    Related:  Geek is sexy. Geek is very, very sexy. 

12.     Sometimes you have to be forced away from your work to realize you’ve made too much of it, to remember it doesn’t define you.  

13.    Taking a Sabbath is a much cheaper way to accomplish #12 than spilling chai on your laptop. 

 

Note: Laptop’s getting repaired. I recovered all my data thanks to Dan and have been working on his computer since.  Only lost about 3 days worth of work on the book in all the mayhem. I’m still running behind on deadline.

Load up your Kindle/ Nook! (Bargain Alert)

So today I noticed that A Year of Biblical Womanhood was just $2.99 for Kindle and Nook here in the U.S.  Then I noticed that a bunch of my favorite books are also on sale for three bucks or less. You never know how long these sales will last, so I thought I’d share my recommendations for those of you loading up your new e-readers with good stuff! 

A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Yours Truly ($2.99) 

Girl Meets God by Lauren Winner ($1.99)

Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist ($2.99)

Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist ($2.99) 

Everything by Mary DeMuth ($2.99)

Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller ($2.99)

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller ($2.99)

Quiet by Susan Cain ($2.99)

Celebration of Disciple by Richard Foster ($2.99)

What’s So Amazing About Grace? by Philip Yancey ($2.99)

A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving ($4.00) 

Bossypants by Tina Fey ($4.99)

The Cloud of Unknowing ($0.99) 

Revelations of Divine Love by Julian of Norwich ($0.99)

Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross ($0.99)

Be sure to browse around for more deals. Like I said, these sales come and go pretty quick, so all this info may be irrelevant tomorrow. 

Happy reading! 

The most beautiful thing I know....

O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining, 
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth. 
Long lay the world in sin and error pining. 
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth. 
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, 
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. 
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices! 
O night divine, the night when Christ was born; 
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine! 
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine! 

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming, 
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand. 
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming, 
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land. 
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger; 
In all our trials born to be our friends. 
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger, 
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend! 
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend! 

Truly He taught us to love one another, 
His law is love and His gospel is peace. 
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother. 
And in his name all oppression shall cease. 
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we, 
With all our hearts we praise His holy name. 
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we, 
His power and glory ever more proclaim! 
His power and glory ever more proclaim!

***

Wishing you all a beautiful Christmas filled with reminders of these promises. 

A Christmas apology, and the seeds of hope

I wrote a post about the incarnation for CNN today: 

This week we celebrate Christmas, and as a Christian, I want to say I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that this season has become about fights over manger scenes on public property, about complaining when clerks say, “Merry Christmas,” instead of “Happy Holidays,” about rampant commercialism and faux persecution.

I’m sorry that Christians in the United States can be so entitled when we’ve long enjoyed majority status, when we can be so blind to our own privilege.

It is ironic, really, because in the church calendar, the seasons of Advent and Christmas call us to reflect upon and celebrate what Christians believe was the most radical act of humility of all time – the incarnation....

Read the full article. 

Why I Fasted For Families (by Marlena Graves)

Today I am thrilled to introduce you to Marlena Graves, a smart, thoughtful, and compassionate woman whose writing consistently reflects both her talent and her heart. Marlena received her M.Div. from Northeastern Seminary in Rochester, New York. She is a by-lined writer for Christianity Today’s Her.meneutics Blog and Gifted For Leadership Blog. Her book, A Beautiful Disaster: Finding Hope in the Midst of Brokenness (Brazos Press), will be out in July of 2014. She blogs at: marlenagraves.com.

***

There are nights when I lie awake wondering about what sort of Christian I really am.

I mean, there’s the Christian I think I am and then the kind I actually am. When push comes to shove, would I have supported Andrew Jackson’s Indian Removal policy and the subsequent ethnic cleansing that occurred as we made our way from sea to shining sea? Would I have been an abolitionist, actively and publicly standing against slavery and then voicing strong opposition to the eminently wicked Jim Crow laws that ensued after the Civil War? Am I the type who would’ve hidden the Jews during the Holocaust? These nights I wonder if I would’ve labored for civil rights, standing in solidarity with Martin Luther King Jr. and my other brothers and sisters. Or would I take my cue from those in the church who opposed them? 

I’ve observed that loving our neighbors can be dangerous. Subversive. It can cost reputation, life, and limb. I’m often moved to think about whether I would have laid my life down for my neighbors, acknowledging with MLK that, “We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly.” Or would I have stubbornly held on to my life, believing my action or inaction affected me alone? I can’t know for sure. I wasn’t around then. 

But I am here now.

A little over a month ago, Lisa Sharon Harper told me and others that she felt led to fast for comprehensive immigration reform. She, along with many other national leaders and social activists of different stripes, began fasting on November 12th while staked out in a tent on the National Mall in Washington D.C. They hoped to persuade political leaders, particularly House Speaker John Boehner, to move on the now stalled comprehensive immigration reform bill that passed with bi-partisan support nearly six months ago. Why FastForFamilies? In their own words:

By fasting, we hope to follow the examples of Cesar Chavez, Martin Luther King Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi to touch the compassion and sensibilities of our elected leaders to address the moral crisis of an immigration system that fails to comport with our national values, our creeds and belief in justice.

Those on the National Mall declared Dec.1-3 a national fast and asked Christians and others all over the nation to join them. As a Spanish-speaking Hispanic woman who has worked, and is currently working, with both documented and undocumented people, this call to D.C. resonated deeply with me. I thought to myself, “I can’t be in D.C., but I can fast and pray from home.” And so for five days I was on a nutrient-rich, liquid diet. I couldn’t go full throttle drinking only water because my blood sugar dips and leads to all sorts of physiological complications. 

Whether it’s fasting to provoke political movement or something else entirely, there are times in all of our lives, and in each generation, when we have to decide whether or not we will stand against what we believe to be injustice or whether we’ll shrink back in fear. If we’re going to be faithful to the Jesus way, we must lovingly and non-violently take our positions against injustice though they render us unpopular. When I think of being unpopular, I think of William Wilberforce who fought for most of his life to free the slaves of the British Empire. Initially, his stance was politically inexpedient and unpopular with most church folk. 

Today, I believe that speaking up for comprehensive immigration reform with a pathway to citizenship and being Jesus to those documented and undocumented immigrants around us is what God would have us do. I agree with John Perkins, founder of the Christian Community Development Association and long-time civil rights leader, who noted that immigration is the new civil rights issue.

Our own ancestors were once immigrants. Had we today’s immigration laws back then, most of our ancestors would’ve been prevented from entering this country. Moreover, immigrants, documented or undocumented, do not come from south of the border alone. As Matthew Soerens and Jenny Hwang note in their book, Welcoming the Stranger, a large number of undocumented immigrants are Asian students who’ve allowed their student visas to expire. And undocumented workers are far from a drain on our national economy. Economists agree that undocumented immigrants are a boon to our nation’s bottom line. And many pay into our Medicare and Social Security systems without receiving any benefits.  As is the case with many marginalized groups, we benefit at their expense.

I want my little girls and those who come after them to know that their parents and many others in the church did what is right despite strong opposition, that we stood in solidarity with the marginalized, the disempowered, and the stranger. And as I lay dying, I want to know that I did what was right in my time. For I am convinced that history will eventually vindicate this stance.

This is why I followed Lisa’s lead and fasted for families. 

***

Be sure to check out Marlena's blog and follow her on Twitter. 

My five favorite books of the year…

If you’re looking for a last minute gift…or are already plotting how to use that bookstore gift card you know is waiting in that tiny wrapped box, I’d recommend starting with these excellent reads—my favorite of 2013: 

1.   Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner & Saint by Nadia Bolz-Weber

My favorite book of the year. Pastrix reminded me of why I am a Christian at a time when I'd nearly forgotten. Read my review. 

2.    Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate by Justin Lee

Such an important book, and probably my most recommended of the year. Read my review.  (We also discussed "Torn" as part of our Sexuality Series here, here, and here. 

3.    Flight Behavior: A Novel by Barbara Kingsolver

My favorite novel of the year. Unforgettable characters, stunning writing, and a fascinating story. 

4. Jesus Feminist: An Invitation to Revisit the Bible's View of Women by Sarah Bessey 

Best debut of the year. Bravo to Sarah Bessey for putting words to so many of our experiences and bringing such clarity and hope to our conversations around gender in the Church. This was much more than a book; it's become a movement. Read my review. 

5.    Prototype: What Happens When You Discover You're More Like Jesus Than You Think?  by Jonathan Martin

The dark horse of the year. I've returned to this book many times since first reading it. Quite a start for Jonathan Martin, whose perspective I've come to really value and esteem. Read my review. 

Honorable Mentions: 

- Bread & Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table with Recipes by Shauna Niequist and Eat With Joy: Redeeming God’s Good Gift of Food by Rachel Marie Stone 

LOVED both of these, and I'm loving them even more now that I've gotten to know the authors better. Both would make excellent gifts for the foodie, host, or chef in your life. Read my review. 

- Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed By Glennon Melton 

I knew this one was going to be good, but Glennon kicked her usual insight, humor, wisdom, and vulnerability up a notch for this powerful, encouraging book. Read my review. 

- Benefit of the Doubt: Breaking the Idol of Certainty by Gregory Boyd

This book really helped me think through my own doubts and explain them to other people. At times I felt like Greg Boyd was reading my mind. Read my interview with Greg Boyd. 

- Disunity in Christ: Uncovering the Hidden Forces that Keep Us Apart by Christena Cleveland

This one is absolutely fantastic. Such a strong debut from Christena Cleveland. I'm almost finished reading, (and would be already if I weren't trying to finish writing my own book).  Review forthcoming! 

 

So, what were your favorite books of 2013? 

How hard can it be to find a handmade, fair-trade, biblically-accurate, ethnically-realistic, reasonably-priced, child-safe nativity scene?

“It’s been 10 years,” I say from across the dining room table. “This is the year. Let’s just get the first one that appeals to both of us and be done with it.” 

The room falls silent save the tap-tap-tapping of our fingers on our keyboards. 

“Here we go,” Dan says after a few minutes. “This one is porcelain. It has 15 pieces. Kinda looks like the one I had growing up, and it’s got a detachable baby Jesus, which you know I prefer.” 

He turns his laptop around so I can see. 

“No. I refuse to have a blonde Mary in my home. That’s non-negotiable. Also, let’s start with fair trade options.” 

Tap-tap-tap. 

Tap-tap-tap. 

“Oh look at this adorable Peruvian one from Ten Thousand Villages!” I coo. “They’re wearing traditional Quechua garb!” 

“You realize a Peruvian Mary is just as unrealistic as a blonde Mary right?” 

“…Or we could make a statement with this one that depicts Mary and Joseph as immigrants arriving on a bus. I love that.”  

“You’re kidding right?” 

Tap-tap-tap. 

Tap-tap-tap. 

“You know,” I finally say. “We should get something that’s appropriate and fun for kids. It probably won’t be just the two of us for much longer. We need to think ahead.” 

This changes everything for Dan who immediately begins assessing every nativity scene based on potential chocking hazards. Suddenly a detachable Jesus seems like a Very Bad Idea. 

“Look at this one,” he finally says triumphantly. “Each piece is nearly a foot tall and BRONZE. Now, BRONZE is a sturdy material. No one’s going to choke on or break that!” 

I look out of morbid curiosity more than anything else. 

“Um, it doesn’t have any shepherds, only wise men, AND THE WISE MEN WERE NOT EVEN THERE!  Why can’t anyone get that right? Does anyone even READ the Bible anymore?” 

“Bronze is a very sturdy material,” Dan says. “It would be a legacy piece.” 

“It’s $300.” 

“Well I saw one that came with actual gold, frankincense, and myrrh that was $1500.” 

“Lord have mercy. Jesus would roll over in his grave…not that he’s actually in his grave. What? It’s a figure of speech.” 

Tap-tap-tap. 

Tap-tap-tap. 

“This one’s hand-carved from olive wood in Bethlehem.” 

“Too abstract” 

“This one comes with 25 pieces.” 

“Too small.” 

“This one comes with a battery-lit star.” 

“Too kitschy." 

“Well, we’ve got that gift card for Hobby Lobby,” I say. “Maybe we should take a look there. I’m sure they have lots of them.” 

“Aren’t you, like, against Hobby Lobby?” 

“No, I’m not against Hobby Lobby. I’m for affordable birth control…I just need to find a ‘This-is-What-a-Feminist Looks-Like’ t-shirt to wear before we go. To make a statement. Oh, and we gotta figure out what time to go to avoid all those consumeristic Christians crowding the stores. 

“We’re never going to get a nativity scene are we?”

“Probably not.” 

 

Y’all know I don’t believe in the war on Christmas. 

But I’m beginning to suspect there’s a war on handmade, fair-trade, biblically-accurate, ethnically-realistic, reasonably-priced, child-safe nativity scenes. 

Help me out here.  

The next book….

Where the "magic" (e.g. tears, caffeine, and self-loathing) happens. 

Sometimes when I write a really vulnerable, personal post (like this, this or this), someone will leave a kind comment encouraging me to do that more often. 

I always smile to myself and think, “Yes, because I’ve totally got the emotional fortitude it takes to bleed onto the page on demand.” 

Things have been a little quiet around here because I’ve been bleeding all over the pages of a new book. It’s a book about church—loving it, losing it, searching for it, finding it—and if all goes according to plan, you can read it in the Fall of 2014. 

I always save my best writing and best energy for my books, and now that I’m on deadline and aiming for 1,000 words a day (!), there’s not much left in the reserves for the blog. This is a deeply personal book that I want to write with great care, so I find myself struggling to complete a single email after a long day of writing (and eating animal crackers, and drinking wine, and ignoring phone calls, and listening to the Pandora Civil Wars station for 14 hours straight, and gaining 15 pounds, and wondering how a chapter about Ash Wednesday somehow left me scouring the periodic table of elements for an hour). 

So December will be a little quiet, though I’ve still got some good stuff lined up for the month: a review of Christena Cleveland’s book Disunity in Christ, “Ask an Open Theist” with Greg Boyd, a list of 101 amazing Christian women speakers, and a cheat sheet for N.T. Wright’s latest book. And beginning in January, we’ll launch a bunch of exciting new series and features. 

As always, thanks for your patience. I’m so grateful for this community. You have shaped and informed so much of the content of this next book. I haven’t written a word of it without thinking of you.

It’s a miracle any of us survived youth group…

So as I’m writing my next book—a memoir about church— I started reminiscing about youth group and all the crazy games we used to play, chief among them Chubby Bunny—a game in which several “volunteers” cram as many marshmallows as they can into their mouths and attempt to say “chubby bunny” without throwing up or choking to death. I asked on Twitter if you remember playing such games and this is what happened: 

@rachelheldevans Guy has egg Saran wrapped on head, girl on shoulders holding dead fish, try to break all other eggs. For real. I won.

— Abby Walls (@craftyabby) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans I also remember having to eat an onion like an apple. I don't know why.

— Katie Krongard (@Katiekrongard) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans there were several injuries at a ELCA youth gathering when playing sardines and someone hid in the hotel elevator.

— daveilers (@daveilers) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans trying to eat a banana through panty hose on your head/face was classic

— Ty Walls (@tylerwalls) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans The broom game. Spin 30 times while staring up at a broom, then put it down & jump over it. Saw a kid break his front teeth

— Warwick (@WarWraith) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Folks ate as many jalapeno peppers as they could & the first person to vomit won. They fired the youth pastor a week later.

— Kelly Clinger (@kellyclinger) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans a game of "find the counsellor" at camp ended with a missing counsellor. Hid in a garbage can & passed out from heat stroke

— James Forde (@TheJimmyForde) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans I was nearly killed in a highly competitive round of Shuffle Your Buns in youth group!

— amanda ellen salmon (@mandaellen) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Contest to give away car, made students drink water. Had to keep hand on car, not pee pants. Potassium drop=hospital visit

— J.J. Peterson (@LifeDean) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans chicken fight with people on bottom having egg taped to head which people on other's shoulders attempt to crack with fish

— Beau P. (@beauspeakswell) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Jump rump of death was the best. 50 foot long, 5 inch thick jump rope. Everybody at once. Broken legs galore.

— David Fifer (@D_Fifer) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans suicide hacky sack. after 3 bounces you could grab it out of the air and throw it at someone. i remember a girl in tears.

— Brandon Harnish (@bkharnish) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Two-Buck Chuck. Students race to eat/chug something (like a whole gallon of milk), and if you don't throw up, you get $2.

— Small Wanderer (@smallwanderer) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans We had to pop balloons by hugging each other as hard as we could. Awesome game for teens with already raging hormones.

— BDunn (@bdunndunn) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans trying to see who could hold soap in their mouth longest. Ended up having to chew it. I had blisters in my mouth for a week

— mishgal (@mishgal) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans bucket brigade, indoors. Had to run from one end of room to other w/dripping wet sponge. It didn't end well

— Mommydom Chronicles (@craftychicky) December 3, 2013

@Runaway_Writes @rachelheldevans Once, while playing "What would you do for a dollar?" a girl I knew swallowed a live goldfish.

— Connor Joel (@keepthemuse) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans We once had a contest to see how many people we could fit into a small tent. Painful memories.

— vanessa barnes (@NessaBelle09) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Strobe light, fog machine, glow-in-the-dark dodgeball. Poor Kyle broke his glasses in the first four seconds.

— Kristopher Yee (@kristofurkey) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans strobe light volleyball.

— thegaypk (@thegaypk) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans We took the smallest middle schoolers & duct taped them to a wall. Team whose child stayed on the wall the longest "won".

— Robert Lindsay (@lindsayr20) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans giant slip&slide.throw some bath soap/water on it. make kids run and slide through each other's legs. broken collar bone.

— amiefaith (@amiefaith) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Anglo SocksOn. Last person still wearing a sock wins. Saw people get teeth kicked out.

— Greg Adkins (@gregadkins) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans girls spitting cheetos through a paper towel roll at boys with shaving cream on their chests. winner shaved loser's armpit.

— amanda kie borchik (@borchikat) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Snipe Hunting - seniors take 6th graders into woods at night searching for rare bird. Lots of lost 6th graders.

— Thomas Vertrees (@ThomasVertrees) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Stool Game - Hold hands in a circle around a stool & try & throw others onto it. Couldn't break grip. Many, many injuries.

— Kelsey (@_Kels_ey_) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans how many rubber bands or clothespins you could put around your head or stick to your face in a minute

— Donnie Hazlewood (@Dn_4sty) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Ultimate Octopus. Resembled Ultimate Frisbee, but with a giant frozen slimy octopus instead of a frisbee.

— Kate Flynn (@GatorKater) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Bobbing for Baby Ruths in toilets filled with Mountain Dew.

— Jared Byas (@jbyas) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans our youth group also played a game called "suck and blow" where you had to pass a playing card around a circle using mouth

— Greg Adkins (@gregadkins) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans I once had to give myself the heimlich playing Chubby Bunny while leading a youth group overnight. Not my finest moment.

— Jenny Hallenbeck (@JennyHallenbeck) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Camp. 80 kids in pool. Throw in watermelon covered in Vaseline. 1st team to emerge with melon wins. It was like Thunderdome

— Troy Tatum (@TroyATatum) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Volleyball with a raw chicken is the worst one that comes to mind... but that was church camp, not youth group :-D

— ally clendineng (@redemptivehope) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans camp. hurricane game. everyone in pool walked in a big circle &created current. Game over when daycampers got sucked under

— Hillary Haden (@_Hillary_Marie_) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Acid Rain. Teams running putting balls in a trash can... While youth leaders sprayed us with fire hoses. Real fire hoses.

— Alyssa Bream (@AlyssaJoy22) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Had a game where goal was to pull off other's socks while everyone crawled on all fours. Saw a guy get his toenail tore off

— Chris Simpson (@innertextual) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans We fired bottle rockets at each other at a lock in. Nobody got hurt, but we had to stop when the cops showed up.

— Joy (@DrJoyP) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans I've seen people drink milkshakes made from happy meals.

— Rachel Byrd (@rbyrd10) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Oh! i once hid a 100+ year old organ for over 2 hours during a game of Sardines at a church retreat... no one found me :-(

— ally clendineng (@redemptivehope) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Competition w/2 jr high kids to see who could lick the church floor longest for 1/2 a Twinkie. Both got bloody tongues.

— Adam WC (@adamwc) December 3, 2013

.@rachelheldevans Butter eating contest. Each contestant had a stick of butter. Lots of kids in the bathroom throwing up after.

— Nathan Guinn (@n_guinn) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans We filled our mouths with chocolate pudding, pulled pantyhose over our heads, and then tried to spit out the pudding.

— Mark Lepper (@thelepper) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans grease a watermelon, drop it off the raft, 1st team to get it to shore wins. Many injuries, near-drownings, ruined swimwear

— Natalia (@nterfa) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Marshmallow baseball with spatulas for bats, running on your knees in carpeted youth room. BLOOD EVERYWHERE

— Wes Willison (@weswillison) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans We also filled nylons with flour and beat each other with them. There may have been another point to that game...

— Stacey Gleddiesmith (@thinkingworship) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Played capture the flag in the Rocky Mountains. Ran into an elk. On foot. Surprise on both sides.

— Stacey Gleddiesmith (@thinkingworship) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans Ran through a dark church, avoiding a "monster" looking for parts to a flashight. Someone's arm went through a glass widow

— Matt Russ (@iamMattRuss) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans We played Savage Women, where all the guys would link arms/legs/whatever & we would pull them apart...anything goes.

— Lauren Webb Bristow (@lwebb9) December 3, 2013

@rachelheldevans "steal the bacon" w/ Vaseline and watermelons. 3 students with concussions and 1 counselor had his nipple ring ripped out.

— Mike Brown (@Mikeyouth) December 3, 2013

I received more than 200 responses. You can read through my Twitter feed for more. 

Sunday Superlatives 12/1/13 (First Sunday of Advent)

Prayer for First Sunday of Advent: “Almighty God, give us grace to cast away the works of darkness, and put on the armor of light, now in the time of this mortal life in which your Son Jesus Christ came to visit us in great humility; that in the last day, when he shall come again in his glorious majesty to judge both the living and the dead, we may rise to the life immortal; through him who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.”  - Book of Common Prayer 

Around the Blogosphere…

Best Quote: 
Pope Francis on the papal mission 

“I prefer a church which is bruised, hurting and dirty because it has been out on the streets, rather than a church which is unhealthy from being confined and from clinging to its own security ... More than by fear of going astray, my hope is that we will be moved by the fear of remaining shut up within structures which give us a false sense of security, within rules which make us harsh judges, within habits which make us feel safe, while at our door people are starving and Jesus does not tire of saying to us: 'Give them something to eat.'”

Best Find: 
Alan Rickman reads Shakespeare’s Sonnet 130

Best Perspective:
Nicholas Kristof at the New York Times with “Where is the Love?”

“Successful people tend to see in themselves a simple narrative: You study hard, work long hours, obey the law and create your own good fortune. Well, yes. That often works fine in middle-class families. But if you’re conceived by a teenage mom who drinks during pregnancy so that you’re born with fetal alcohol effects, the odds are overwhelmingly stacked against you from before birth. You’ll perhaps never get traction. Likewise, if you’re born in a high-poverty neighborhood to a stressed-out single mom who doesn’t read to you and slaps you more than hugs you, you’ll face a huge handicap. One University of Minnesota study found that the kind of parenting a child receives in the first 3.5 years is a better predictor of high school graduation than I.Q. All this helps explain why one of the strongest determinants of ending up poor is being born poor.” 

Best Headline: 
The Onion with “Woman Who Had Almost Formed Healthy Sense of Self Rejoins Social Media” 

Best Writing: 
Shauna Niequist with “What My Mother Taught Me” 

“I watched my mother become herself. I watched her come alive. I watched her discover her gifts. I watched her eyes sparkle when she returned from a meeting or a trip. I listened to her bubbling over with passion about what she was reading or learning. And as I watched her, I promised myself that I would follow this new example she was leaving for me, to pay attention to my gifts and passions. The life I was seeing in her for the first time was so inspiring to me. I loved it in her, and I wanted it for myself.”

Best Moment: 
Toni Morrison Honors Maya Angelou at the National Book Awards

“Easy reading is damn hard writing" 

Best Interview:
N.T. Wright discusses Paul and the Faithfulness of God

Best Lecture (nominated by Matt Saler) 
N.T. Wright on The Big Story of the Bible 

Best Debriefs: 
Peter Enns with “Inerrancy and the Recent Non-Apocalyptic Discussion at the Annual ETS Meeting in Baltimore” and Michael Bird with “Reflections on ETS and the Conference Theme of Inerrancy” 

From Enns: “As a biblical scholar who deals with the messy parts of the Bible (i.e., the Old Testament), I came away with one recurring impression, a confirmation of my experience in these matters: mainstream American evangelicalism, as codified in the Chicago Statement on Biblical Inerrancy, doesn’t really know what to do with the Bible as a historical text.”

In other news, Five Views of Biblical Inerrancy releases next week and looks like a book we’ll need to discuss! 
 

Best Response: 
Caryn Rivadeneira, Rachel Marie Stone, and Marlena Graves at Her.Meneutics with “Things Broke People Do” 

“The Bible doesn't indicate that people must be worthy of such generosity, no provision made for excluding the person from charity because of laziness. We see that kindness and generosity are to be given without reservation, without restriction. Perhaps this is because all good things—including the ability to work hard—come from divine grace. The prosperity that can follow hard work is not exclusively our natural and inevitable reward, but in fact a gift from God.”

Wisest:
Richard Beck with “Drinking Christians” 

“That's the dark side of post-evangelical drinking. Given that drinking is a sign of liberation from a troubled past, many progressive Christians find it emotionally difficult to address alcoholism, or to put the drinks away because of a "weaker brother" in our midst.”

Bravest: 
These Goats

Truest: 
Sarah Bessey with “In which this is also about the men” 

“In the Kingdom of God, we don’t have to choose between lifting up men or lifting up women, it’s not one or the other: it’s both together, it’s the sacred union, the created purpose as co-image bearers of God.”

Coolest:
Ben Blatt at Slate with “A Textual Analysis of The Hunger Games” 

“These lists give us a sense of the authors’ respective proclivities and reflect the general tone of each series. The Hunger Games is a technical dystopia relying on detailed descriptions of the action (thus the prevalence of words like 'intensely' and 'electronic”'. Twilight is wrapped up in emotion (thus 'anxiously,' 'unwilling,' and 'unreadable'—the last is typically used to describe a character’s expression). Harry Potter is an exploration of a world by turns wondrous and frightening (thus 'dreamily,' 'terrified'). Collins’ adjectives are often used in a utilitarian manner, to describe processes (as in 'One of the heaviest days of betting is the opening, when the initial casualties come in.'). Meyer, meanwhile, is more likely to use her adjectives to describe people (as in 'he asked in his silken, irresistible voice').” 

Humblest: 
Andrew Sullivan with “Reliving Iraq” 

“No writer is always right. What matters is how he or she grapples with being wrong.”

Funniest:
Ed Cyzewski "roasts" Zack Hunt on the arrival of his new baby with "An Open Letter to Zack Hunt" 

"Your entire life will now revolve around naps and what you find or don’t find in your daughter’s diapers. Maybe you don’t want to use the word 'poo' because it’s not amenable for your sophisticated Yale tastes. Now is the time to get the thesaurus out and pick your word of choice for 'poo”' because you’re going to talk about it A LOT."

Most Relatable: 
Twenty Pixels with “5 Differences Between Life Now and Life Before Cell Phones”

Most Encouraging: 
Micah  J. Murray with “How I Became a Jesus Feminist” 

“I stopped listening to the men in suits and their the fear-mongering doomsday predictions about feminism. Instead, I started listening to feminists talk about what feminism meant to them. What I heard wasn’t hatred or bitterness or anger or arrogance. I heard brave, strong voices. I heard hearts turned toward love and justice.” 

Most Practical:
Deseed pomegranate in 10 seconds using a wooden spoon

Most Inspiring: 
Bill and Lynne Hybels with “Evangelicals and Gender Equality” 

“Over the last three decades I have had the pleasure of standing on a church stage and introducing women teachers, knowing that the congregation was about to hear a message inspired and empowered by the Holy Spirit. I’ve sat in elder meetings and listened while godly women brought wisdom and discernment to bear on complex issues of church discipline. I’ve bounced ideas back and forth with gifted businesswomen who provided thoughtful perspectives on the fiduciary matters of the church. I’ve listened to church members tell stories of transformation that occurred as they sat under the pastoral care of female small group leaders. I’ve watched women and men stand side by side as they served communion and collected the offering and led worship.”

Most Succinct:
Mark Love with “Miami Dolphins and Female Preachers”

“I think a room full of preachers is better when some of them are women.”

Most Helpful: 
Nish Weiseth with “The Reality of Special Needs and How You Can Help” 

“If you see me dealing with a massive meltdown, pray over us from afar. Pray for peace and calm over my kid, pray for strength and determination for me.”

Most Powerful: 
Dawn W. with “On Being Poor” 

“It’s taken me a lot of my growing up years and a decent amount of time studying theology for me to see what was really happening. We were poor for a multitude of reasons, among them being the failure of the system and a minimum wage that is (still) too low. Now is not the time for that. More importantly, I learned that God does not favor the rich and fiscally responsible. Monetary success is not a sacrament. My Lord is manifested in the bread and wine of the Table; the love of a friend; the poetry of the liturgy; the truth of His Word.”

Most Insightful: 
Enuma Okoro at The Washington Post with “Naughty by Nature, Hopeful by Grace”

“I get it now in a way I haven’t before; how temptation can slip slowly from shiny surfaces into the sin of unfaithfulness and undisciplined desire, from things that look good and usually are good, in the beginning. But no one talks about how to keep your balance on the slippery slope. No one wants to talk about it till everyone has slid right off. Then every pastor, priest, and prophet begins to preach about Eve and Delilah, biblical women culturally synonymous with the evils of temptation and the fall of men. In my friendship with Chris I felt the flutters growing and I wanted to start talking about it. I wanted to steady my stance on the slippery slope.”

Most Thought-Provoking: 
Christena Cleveland with “Crossing Boarders in the Church: On Embracing Undocumented Immigrants” 

“The good news is that where the church is pressing into the unity to which Christ calls us, relationships form and attitudes change.  Political scientist Ruth Melkonian-Hoover finds that white evangelicals who worship alongside immigrants are far less likely to view immigrants as a threat (19.6%) than white evangelicals as a whole (50.7%).  Those who have heard a positive message about immigration from their pastor—presumably, one that highlights the scores of biblical commands related to how immigrants ought to be treated—are only about half as likely to think of immigrants as a threat and are also much more likely (81.5%) than white evangelicals as a whole (54%) to support immigration reform policies including an earned path to citizenship for the undocumented.” 

Most Fascinating: 
Jenny Armstrong with “Opposition to Gender Equality, East and West” 

“Don't mess with the dowry system! It's biblical!”
 

Most Grace-full 
Osheta Moore with “A Letter to My Sisters in the Suburbs” 

“We would love for you, our suburban sisters to join us in caring for Samaria. But know this— urban ministry is not a better way and it’s definitely not the only way to seek God’s Shalom in this broken world. My ‘all or nothing’ will never look like your ‘all or nothing’ and I think that’s the mark of a true disciple: knowing your Shepherd’s voice and following him into your specific all or nothing.” 

Best Assessment: 
Kate Wallace at the Junia Project with “The Incomplete Gospel of Biblical Womanhood”

“I am a single, educated, working, Christian woman, and the “biblical womanhood” message doesn’t really apply to my life. I simply don’t fit into the patriarchal/complementarian teaching of what a woman should be. I may fit better in the future, if I get married and have kids, but what if my life doesn’t take that path? What if I am unable to have kids? What if I’m poor? What if my future husband leaves me? What if I remain single?

Best Storytelling: 

Stacy Sergent with “I Was Told to Knit While the Men Prayed” 

“When I returned to the US, I felt it was important to pursue a theological education, to prepare for ministry and discern what kind of minister I was meant to be.  I had to visit a couple of schools before I found one where women were welcome as full participants.  I’ll never forget my first seminary campus visit, during which the tour guide ignored me completely and directed all his commentary to the male prospective students, until we passed one of the education buildings and he mentioned their excellent preaching classes.  ‘Of course, you wouldn’t need to worry about those,’ he said to me.”

Best Analysis: 
Andrew Arndt with “Coherence at the Core: Some Thoughts on Love and Wrath” 

“Christians believe that Jesus is where the narrative of Scripture was heading all along.  That everything that happened before Christ was a shadow–revealing God, yes, but dimly, provisionally, awaiting further elucidation.  In Christ, God gets specific.  We come to the “hard core” of who God is and what he’s like.  And what is God like, revealed in Jesus?  He loves “sinners”, dines with them, and makes himself comfortable with them.  He heals the lame and the disfigured, extends mercy to the oppressors of Israel, and calls everyone within earshot of his voice into the range of his Father’s redeeming love.  Jew and Gentile, Israel and Rome… it matters not to him – the whole world is the focus of his work, for the whole world has been the focus of his Father’s work from the beginning.”

Best Point: 
Mike Raburn with “On Women and Slaves”

“The hermeneutic (method of interpretation) Rev. Wilson used to sanctify slavery in 1861 is exactly the same that is used now to make suppressing and subjugating women in the church seem holy too. You can see it in that same quote. Husbands are to wives as masters are to slaves. Same logic. Same way of reading the Bible.” 

On Twitter...

@rachelheldevans Rejoice w/ those who are rejoicing, weep w/ those who are weeping~ a Pastor's life Sunday after the Ironbowl. #IronBowl

— Bert Breland (@bertbreland) December 1, 2013

"Some men are baptists, others catholics, my father was an oldsmobile man." #achristmasstory

— Justin Hanvey (@Dochas82) December 1, 2013

Last day of the Christian year. The holy calendar turns in expectation of God's coming into the world. #advent

— Diana Butler Bass (@dianabutlerbass) November 30, 2013

Based on my extensive research/Hulu ads, I can give you the official list of places you should NOT propose: 1. Jewelry Store 2. Airplane

— Emily Maynard (@emelina) November 28, 2013

“Any idiot can face a crisis; it’s this day-to-day living that wears you out," --Chekov

— Mary Karr, Author (@marykarrlit) November 22, 2013

“He who carved the edges of the cosmos curved Himself into a fetal ball in the dark.” #TheGreatestGift #Advent http://t.co/w71semM94l

— Ann Voskamp (@AnnVoskamp) November 21, 2013

@edcyzewski "That's church. Just gotta pick which HOT MESS is your favorite." <--- I feel like that tweet deserves to be cross-stitched.

— Annie Barnett (@annieathomeblog) November 20, 2013

If "every valley shall be exalted & every mountain made low", the mountains will have to give something up. But it's the way of the Kingdom.

— Micah J. Murray (@micahjmurray) November 19, 2013

Low-income people who attend churches are often marginalized as “recipients” rather than invited in as “irreplaceable participants.”

— Christena Cleveland (@CSCleve) November 18, 2013

New Motto: God spoke through my Bible-immersed, Spirit-led community, I am in dialogue with it, that settles it… until our next conversation

— edcyzewski (@edcyzewski) November 18, 2013

 

On the Blog….

Most Popular Post (…of all time. seriously.):
Are You Being Persecuted? 

Most Popular Comment:
In response to “Are you being persecuted?” NotMonday wrote: 

“Thank you! The idea that American Christians are persecuted is, in my opinion, quite offensive to Christians elsewhere that actually are persecuted.”

*** 

So, what caught your eye online this week? What’s happening on your blog?